Open Mic Poetry

Poetic Works
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winner winner winner
oh my little psycho
its to pretty for my dreams
I did not mean to stare
but I had to
I just had to look twice
heres some art alright
I would like to thank you
for taking the time to fuck with me
Anonymous
- Sunday, January 09, 2000 at 09:32:49 (PST)


It's one twenty-seven
I need some love
a love that might think upon lasting for once
Anonymous
- Saturday, January 08, 2000 at 22:33:24 (PST)


To the lady at the intersection of 12th and 68th
I brought lunch for you today
but you were gone
maybe you were an angel

Bathing in the rain
Burning bright as the sun
Not wanting so much

To the man with no shoes who lives on the bustop bench
life savings of tattered newspapers
soda cans
you have two children and are trying to keep them alive
I drove by a week ago
and you weren't there
maybe you were an angel

I pass by you everyday and wish I could give you more
Sometimes we aren't supposed to know where
the good ones go
Maybe we aren't supposed to know why the angels die

So this is my chance
something is telling me that life is short
reach out
catch a glimpse of what is pure
a stoplight isn't enough time to say all that I need to say to you

I wanted to give so much
When all the while I was receiving instead

I hope to see you in heaven someday






Eve
- Friday, January 07, 2000 at 19:47:04 (PST)


in order to make the dowloading process shorter
when you are loading this page after about 20 seconds hit stop on your browser
that lets you see the new poetry
but doesnt mean you have to wait for all the old shit to load
Anonymous
- Friday, January 07, 2000 at 12:53:22 (PST)


Can we get a pruning of the poetry perhaps ?

The download is now dreadfully long, long.


Pollypissypants
- Friday, January 07, 2000 at 10:58:36 (PST)


"Look"

While she walked across the crowded intersection
next to the spoiled waters
I would drink from her cupped hands
to salute her beauty as she destroys herself
and distills yesterday in my empty dreams

Just as she brought art into reality
stealing from time
forever it would mean nothing
and there are a thousand worlds in between

in a scene painted in a rush
with no beauty
only she stands out
and dispears in a moment elapsed into nothingness
only cold sharp ugliness left
stabbing empty sights blind


Copyright{C }TravisRayCole2000
Travis Ray Cole can be e-mailed at oeoeoe@usa.net


Travis Ray Cole
- Friday, January 07, 2000 at 05:58:48 (PST)


excuse me......
Is it alright with you
if Exxon dumps here for the
NEXT TEN YEARS????
Anonymous
- Friday, January 07, 2000 at 05:40:40 (PST)


a nice place to visit
but how who


the headache lasted three days
the urine stench busted vessels in my brain
elevator
elevator
up
down
the man cant walk
the woman cant talk
help him up
help him die
the government
the happiness shared with taking care of the beatings
the old
the urine gave me three days to stench remember
let me off this floor
i dont wanna be here no more
are there stairs?
theres something wrong with the elevators
are there stairs?
yes
where
where are the secret stairs
let me off this stench cloud
floor
going up
going down
anywhere but here
oh
your a nurse
are you a doctor or a patient
where are the stairs
is that why you beat them
if Im not back in ten minutes the recieptionist is going to come get me
she promised
a nice place
Anonymous
- Friday, January 07, 2000 at 05:38:59 (PST)


Oh mighty Soup Train messiah, I was wondering how
we could get the Soup Train back, could we do it now?
I know I keep trying to bring it back when we talk
but sometimes you say no and others I just gawk
I guess I'm saying, down on my knees
can we bring the Soup Train back, oh can we please?

PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP
WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
???????????????????????????????????????????????????????
Campbell's Man
- Friday, January 07, 2000 at 01:36:19 (PST)


It's four in the morning and I'm tripping out
my tortured pink bunny's talking, what's that shit about?!
I stare at my dog as it rapes my cat
I'm thinking this sucks, but this will be that
To think my brains are dripping out my nose
trying to asphexiate my mouth and it's woes
shutting me up and bottling it inside
and when I look around I can find no one in which to confide.
I want to sleep and dream my nightmares, waking in a sweat
but tomorrow's another day that I cannot fret.
So I drink real hot coffee and write little or no sense
unless your up at four in the morning or your not very dense.
My cat just grinned at me and the rabid flea on crack just walked in
I'm shivering and shaking, where the hell have I been?!
My bed longs to eat me and digest me with dreams
but anything's impossible and nothing is what it seems.
I think I will go now and stop posting shit
but at four in the morning I must say it does fit.


If this doesn't at least put half a smile on your mouth or a homicidal urge deep down in the bottom of the heart I have failed miserably and will attempt to put myself into a coma with a REALLY big hammer.
Jester without a cause.
- Friday, January 07, 2000 at 01:19:02 (PST)


the bug crawls up my leg
i feel the bite
though i am not affected
no twitch
no flinch
dont care
just stare
and see the retched inflamation in my calf
grow larger as seconds
minutes
hours pass
like years
in the back of my mind
'hey, maybe i should get up, get this shit checked out'
OH FUCK
'hey, maybe you should get up'
a knocking comes to my head
who the fuck was that?
ahh well
screw that
i stare and stare at the bleeding open wound on my leg
that could clearly be infected with god know what the fuck is crawling in those disease ridden bugs
though i'm not affected
no twitch
noflinch
dont care
just stare
OH FUCK!!!
Paolina Corsaro
- Thursday, January 06, 2000 at 21:37:57 (PST)


Addiction is my affliction
The disease no one sees
Two red eyez and a hurtin noze
Money to burn, coke to blow
I want it to go, Mr Jones you're
no good.

Takes you to places you wouldn't be
Takes you places you can't even see
Do the things you wouldn't do, sleep
with one or mabey two.




Havin a drink as I type
- Thursday, January 06, 2000 at 21:25:44 (PST)


happiness spills over me
drowning me with smiles
a contagious laugh comes over me
an epidemic of joy overcomes everyone
people are laughing
the reason is me
i laugh and smile for you
content with what love brings
i feel my soul smiling every exiting word from your mouth
all of love and rapture
it overcomes me
i succumb to it
and make it known
the steps it takes to you
are worth everything to me
priceless yet i'd pay anything for you
my soul i would give to feel yours near me
my eyes just to feel yours on me
the happiness you bring
spills over me drowning me in a pool of love
thank you
Paolina Corsaro
- Thursday, January 06, 2000 at 21:24:03 (PST)


2:SEC
It's a promise between you and me
It's a heart and soul where you will always be free
It's two arms you can run to.
It's a heart that will always be true
It's a faith that will always believe in and stand
by you
It's a promise you can rely on
Rosalyn
- Thursday, January 06, 2000 at 15:42:14 (PST)


2:SEC
It's a promise between you and me
It's a heart and soul where you will always be free
It's two arms you can run to.
It's a heart that will always be true
It's a faith that will always believe in and stand
by you
It's a promise you can rely on
Rosalyn
- Thursday, January 06, 2000 at 15:36:15 (PST)


what comes after human beings
by
spellina spadina spokane


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


immortality has set foot in my mind
it brings with it a desire to wonder
if its possible to live on forever
through a belief that we are larger
than the life we know to us right now
or are we mere accidents that truely only
live on in the hearts and minds of others
until they too are gone and we too if they
never did pass on our dna or our legacy
Have I went and lost my only faith or is
faith something that was never in the first place
Maybe in the twenty first century we will realize
that it is only mankind who thinks in spirituality
when in actuallity there is nothing BEYOND EXISTENCE
otherwise, you tell me where people go when they die.....can you proove it.....no so have faith.....well its the year 2000 and if our creator(s) don't reveal themselves to a massive part of the world's population soon, war will prevail



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Copyright : machines perhaps?


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Anonymous
- Thursday, January 06, 2000 at 12:46:01 (PST)


Im equally glad that you are back Jayme.
Never sacrifice your sanctuary.
Anonymous
- Thursday, January 06, 2000 at 09:31:51 (PST)


"Ode to Honey Pie"
just leave her and marry me
I need you
you fucking retard
two women cant be parents to her kids
you sick bitch

Anonymous
- Wednesday, January 05, 2000 at 22:25:41 (PST)


I just want to be the gold
and he proclaims that I am higher

Sometimes I want to take his words and churn them into the sweetest perfume of honesty
to keep at pulse points

your soul fits so perfectly into my puzzle



And thank you Eve ....
and everyone else who has shown me support
though I almost feel bad for being back
but if he is gone... why sacrifice my santuary?
Jayme
- Wednesday, January 05, 2000 at 18:22:26 (PST)


im not interested in your lies
nor will I look to your eyes
there is no reality in you
nor is there security with me
things have changed drastically
I do not see you at all okay
you must just wait and see
high is the need to tell you
yes I need to tell you goodbye!
in control
- Wednesday, January 05, 2000 at 17:14:38 (PST)


Jayme, I'm glad your'e back
Eve
- Wednesday, January 05, 2000 at 12:20:24 (PST)


a nice place to visit
but how who


the headache lasted three days
the urine stench busted vessels in my brain
elevator
elevator
up
down
the man cant walk
the woman cant talk
help him up
help him die
the government
the happiness shared with taking care of the beatings
the old
the urine gave me three days to stench remember
let me off this floor
i dont wanna be here no more
are there stairs?
theres something wrong with the elevators
are there stairs?
yes
where
where are the secret stairs
let me off this stench cloud
floor
going up
going down
anywhere but here
oh
your a nurse
are you a doctor or a patient
where are the stairs
is that why you beat them
if Im not back in ten minutes the recieptionist is going to come get me
she promised
a nice place
Anonymous
- Tuesday, January 04, 2000 at 22:12:54 (PST)


3
yes roxanne
I want you like I want a very pregnet mexician
how I long for thee
hot hot hot
Anonymous
- Tuesday, January 04, 2000 at 22:02:50 (PST)


two

ROXANNE
I would share the lust of love
full of life and need
to steal any heart and satifiy me
its so hard
to define the feeling I have for you
is equal to that wanting of a very pregenet mexecian
the lust anyway
Anonymous
- Tuesday, January 04, 2000 at 22:00:23 (PST)


I cried myself to sleep last night
with you still inside me
no matter what I do I cant get you out
...........
damn me and all my insecurity
*vent *
(but then you didnt just say she was more attractive than I ... you said you were more attracted to her than me... and goddamnit that hurt! because there is no one in the world I am more attracted to than you that I would choose over you... you took a peice of my heart tap and I feel a bit incomplete... of course it probobly wasnt meant to tickle was it?)
Jayme
- Tuesday, January 04, 2000 at 15:31:34 (PST)


she stands amidst the destruction
spoons in hand
so safe from infection
unknowing of your disease
and sometimes I wanna rip you
out of me
and be plain yet slightly slain
but whole none the less
so I may rest
slack in arms and hands
loosened grip on battered pride
to sleep so soundlessly
destroy your pervasion, invasion on me
sometimes I want to rip you
out of me
so I can remember how to hide


Jayme
- Tuesday, January 04, 2000 at 13:39:08 (PST)


i ask myself
what am i going to do with my life?
what life?
there is no longer a time where i can go on with my regular routine
routine is dimished
never to be repeated the same
never to go down the same dimly lit road that led me here
this current fork in the road
which way do i go?
not much choice since the fork ends up in the same god damned place
somewhere i don't want to be
somwhere that has already led me to insanity
slowly crawling under my skin
eating away at me
and all that i call real
no longer can i laugh
and see the joy in all that life brings
i am unable to see in the darkness
as i had for all this time
instead of guiding
ia m following
holding onto the hand of sanity
only the grasp is loose
and soon...
lets go
i frantically scale the wall looking for it
nowhere to be found
i sit alone in the still pitch darkness
with my hands that twitch
and my eyes that choose to remain closed
no longer having to see the horror around me
just to hear the terrible disorientation that torments my life
and my capability to move on
paralyzing in such a way
leaving me with no strength to continue
wanting to sink in the crevice of my soul
to see where it went wrong
converse with it and attempt to figuire out how to rearrange everything
swimming in the depth of my confusion

For anyone who reads this please give me your comments on it. I would like to know what you like, dislike and think is interesting to you about it. Thank you.
Paolina Corsaro
- Tuesday, January 04, 2000 at 12:52:45 (PST)


Oh Roxanne
I long to hold and love you with the passion
I have for a very pregenet mexician
I would bathe in your disire
and hold you forever
if yould lose just a little weight
Anonymous
- Monday, January 03, 2000 at 21:42:03 (PST)


I long to watch you sleep in the still hours of the night.
I want to wake you from your nightmares and tell you it's all right.
I wish to hold you in darkness and light.
I desire a swim in all that is you, to bathe in every part.
I need a love so pure, the love of your heart.

Jester without a cause
- Monday, January 03, 2000 at 21:03:40 (PST)


I wear to many masks...
Now, when I look in the mirror a stranger looks back.
The grinning cat has retired to where he basks
the sanctuary some have, but most lack.
That warm place in the sun, where the winter is froze by the pane .
Blinded by the light once hidden by my masquerade
shattering to shards the stranger that knows I am insane.
I am alone, the sunlight is the last thing to fade.


Jester without a cause
- Monday, January 03, 2000 at 20:49:01 (PST)


***haunted***

beautiful boy
are you still sleeping?
u still fill my mind
my thought
my breath
my dreams
time & beat
come 2 me

its so dark
tonight

give me
excorsism

they are
walking my hall
breathing behind me
almost visible
looking glass

i tried to sooth u
& now I am shaking

Wide awake
&
still falling

***

K.
- Monday, January 03, 2000 at 15:52:13 (PST)




kent{code name kent}{fagget anthlogy}
> 555-call now
> trailer park crack slum park, il USA
> call home kent{code name"crack" KENT}
> Kent was code for crack
> not the crack you 1st thought ask gay bob
> frank had a thing for bob
> wes was madcode name kent needed to call home
> his"mama" needed tampons and choc-late doughnuts
> DOUGHNUTS CODE NAME KENT doughnuts over
> code name kent was watching oprea in his sleep
> bob felt romantic towards men in wheel chairs
>
Wes chewed thru bobs panties
as bob applied fake nails and painted the
frank forced kents head down on to his hard
wart infested diease tree
frank was kents man as he said suck it bitch
to frank,bob was jealose
> he had hoped to be the suck it bitch
> this and everytime....
> bob was first in line then kent code name kent was next to slurp the diease
> tree but only after is was covered with shit.
> as kent slurped the shit covered diease tree
> frank slaped his ass
> until he liked it and boy did he like it
> bob slid in between the men and held on to the wheel chair as he gobbled
the
> crippled manhood of salty dude
> salty dude cupped bobs boy sized tits in his hand and squeezed them and
bite
> them gently until bob was ready
> kent code name kent then tittie fucked bobs boy sized breasts and slid his
> diease tree under bobs bra
> and into his mouth
> when he jizzed down bobs vacuum hole
> wes turned him over and thumped his diease tree on to bobs ass
and it fit perfectly in his crack

"Chapter two"
{Fresh tobacco and a big slipperly cock}

as {the rookie}Officer Bob was face fucked
he loved to hold on to
> the wheels of the wheel chair
> he would ask broke dick
> to get out of it so he could
> get it on with the lietunit and the cheif
> and still have something to hold onto
> the chief brought a goat into the filming of
> "pantieless bob" and asked if she wanted
to hold onto some goat dicks
instead,would'nt you know it bob tried to
make the goat sit in the
wheelchair
> while he serviced it
> and the goat shit all over it and bob.
> wes got into it then,he was turned on more now
> as he rode bob from behind
> bob shouted hack me hack me
> wes was the best hacker bob had ever done
> captin wes as the folks
> at the doughnut shop call him
> was hacking away at bob, when he pulled
> and ripped at bobs thiegh highs
> and that was a mistake
> captin wes may have been bobs hacker dude
> but there was noway {the rookie} "bob"
> was going to take off his heels
> or his theigh-highs
> when captin wes finished
> kent code name kent came out of the bathroom
> in his briefs
> with his code name lubricated manhood in his hands
> even though this looked real good to bob
> he was smoking a cigarette right then
and was'nt ready for kent code name kents action
> so letuinet frank slid into the wheel chair and
> revved it up.
as bob pointed the smoke towards god
wes tore him three new assholes.

"Chapter Three"

{Frank and Bob go to the biker bar}

As the door opened frank directed bob to one side ,he went in the other
direction.
both worked thier way down the bar looking for men to rape them.
no one volentered at first.
finally they found thier man,
"Shit Fucker" as they called him
only Shit fucker's manhood was so big it
would'nt fit in thier mouths
this became a problem for the fellows.
so they asked Shit Fucker to tickle
them while he raped them,well at first shit fucker
did'nt like the ideal but they gave him fake
coke {they we're fake coke dealers on the side}
and it turned out shit fucker loved fake coke
{it was really "fruitopia" a preseritive for fruit
plants}when shit fucker snorted up the fruitopia
he was good to go...
Bob wanted to cut back on gum diease so he
made kissing noises with his ass as he shit out
shitfuckers big log over and over again until
they threw him out of that bar.

"chapter four"
golfing
> {code name kent}
> 555-call now
> trailer park crack slum park, il USA
> call home kent{code name"crack" KENT}
> Kent was code for crack
> not the crack you 1st thought ask gay bob
> frank had a thing for bob
> wes was madcode name kent needed to call home
> his"mama" needed tampons and choc-late doughnuts
> DOUGHNUTS CODE NAME KENT doughnuts over
> code name kent was watching oprea in his sleep
> bob felt romantic towards men in wheel chairs
>
> wes chewed thru bobs panties
> frank forced kents head down on to his hard
> wart infested diease tree
> frank was kents man as he said suck it bitch
> to frank,bob was jealose
> he had hoped to be the suck it bitch
> this and everytime....
> bob was first in line then kent code name kent was next to slurp the diease
> tree but only after is was covered with shit.
> as kent slurped the shit covered diease tree
> frank slaped his ass
> until he liked it and boy did he like it
> bob slid in between the men and held on to the wheel chair as he gobbled the
> crippled manhood of salty dude
> salty dude cupped bobs boy sized tits in his hand and squeezed them and bite
> them gently until bob was ready
> kent code name kent then tittie fucked bobs boy sized breasts and slid his
> diease tree under bobs bra
> and into his mouth
> when he jizzed down bobs vacuum hole
> wes turned him over and thumped his diease tree on to bobs ass
> and it fit perfectly in his crack
>
> "Chapter two"
> {Fresh tobacco and a big slipperly cock}
>
> as {the rookie}Officer Bob was face fucked
> he loved to hold on to
> the wheels of the wheel chair
> he would ask broke dick
> to get out of it so he could
> get it on with the lietunit and the cheif
> and still have something to hold onto
> the chief brought a goat into the filming of
> "pantieless bob" and asked if she wanted to hold onto some goat dicks
> instead,would'nt you know it bob tried to make the goat sit in the wheelchair
> while he serviced it
> and the goat shit all over it and bob.
> wes got into it then,he was turned on more now
> as he rode bob from behind
> bob shouted hack me hack me
> wes was the best hacker bob had ever done
> captin wes as the folks
> at the doughnut shop call him
> was hacking away at bob, when he pulled
> and ripped at bobs thiegh highs
> and that was a mistake
> captin wes may have been bobs hacker dude
> but there was noway {the rookie} "bob"
> was going to take off his heels
> or his theigh-highs
> when captin wes finished
> kent code name kent came out of the bathroom
> in his briefs
> with his code name manhood in his hands
> even though this looked real good to bob
> he was smoking a cigarette right then and was'nt ready for ke nt code name
> kents action
> so letuinet frank slid into the wheel chair and
> revved it up.


"Chapter Three"

{Frank and Bob go to the biker bar}

As the door opened frank directed bob to one side ,he went in the other direction.
both worked thier way down the bar looking for men to rape them.
no one volentered at first.
finally they found thier man,only his manhood was so big it would'nt fit in thier mouths
this became a problem for the fellows.



Anonymous
- Sunday, January 02, 2000 at 23:29:40 (PST)


*****************IMPORTANT NOTICE*****************


Effective January 3, 2000, Adam Richard Wooten is announcing his official retirement from this webpage.

We've all had our fair share of shit talking and I think it's time to hang it up and go wreak havoc elswhere. I got what I wanted and now I'm finished with all of you.
One last thing, I have not posted ANYTHING on this site since the day I got my money! Somebody else seems to want to keep stirring the shit. It was fun while it lasted, but I just want to state that Ben or one of those other kids are apparently Impersonating me and saying negative things about certain people! If I was the one talking shit, I would admit to it. Like the thing about Jayme's back and vagina and all that bullshit...I DIDN'T WRITE IT! (It was rather humorous, but that's beside the point)

The Last thing I posted was that Big Ass "Merry Christmas list"
I hate to sound like a little bitch, but I've been more or less...FRAMED!

So yeah I'm leaving for good, If you all want to talk anymore shit about me or Jessyca it will fall on deaf ears because I won't be reading it.


Well I gotta go rape a sheep so I'll see you around.


Adam Wooten "Goddamn He's Great"
A D A M W O O T E N
- Sunday, January 02, 2000 at 22:14:05 (PST)



-Eventing the dreams-
&
-Nursing the screams-

-

An empty and blind reflection,
a well assigned deseption,
the clear cold green,
an empty wishing machine.
-Are you really sane?-
The perfecting cut of mind,
put a side for a perspective gaze,
testing the undefined,
as druged in hollow rage.
-Are you sure?-
Mad baboons in chains,
grinning and eating our own tales,
greedely filling the veins,
and sucking the nails.
-Really sure?-
Sucked, Fucked and Fisted,
wasted, ripped and twisted,
realety shakened and renounced,
by dreams sold by the ounce.
-Why?-
The you in the mirror,
who are you?
The one that walks my shoes,
did i loss you too?
Did i loss you or were you bought?
did you run and then got caught?
-You did dint you?-
The all by mind at play,
a minding mind at stray,
the all but wishing,
mind me a whipping.

Z
- Sunday, January 02, 2000 at 16:05:43 (PST)


"Leave the lesbian"

Leave the lesbian lies
love me
leave the lesbian lies
leave the lesbian behind
leave it
live the life we looked for
leave the lesbian alright?
Anonymous
- Sunday, January 02, 2000 at 15:57:33 (PST)


Gone
she the sun to this dawn
The one who's words were rapture for all to hear
the one I know and love, a friend so dear
my diamond slipping through my finger's like sand
This place, in better days, was so grand
But now the only lights are that of distant stars
it's so dark yet I can still see the bars
The gates of heaven have been closed for the sin of so few
and I think with pity in my heart: perhaps I will go too.
Yes I will go to find the dawn.
Gone.
Cheshire Cat
- Sunday, January 02, 2000 at 08:46:09 (PST)


Light Headed
Pencil unleaded
Lost Soul
A Deep Black Hole
Don't wanna fall
Nobody hears my call
Save me from this mess
if only my emotions were less
feel my smile
if it was just for a while

Moonlight Phoenix
- Sunday, January 02, 2000 at 03:33:23 (PST)


Light Headed
Pencil unleaded
Lost Soul
A Deep Black Hole
Don't wanna fall
Nobody hears my call
Save me from this mess
if only my emotions were less
feel my smile
if it was just for a while

Moonlight Phoenix
- Sunday, January 02, 2000 at 03:31:37 (PST)


P A E O N I A
was her name
Eve
- Saturday, January 01, 2000 at 22:54:16 (PST)


The pages from her book have fallen
and fail to provide the beauty she requires
she desires
she is home where the void is tormenting
she is home waiting for the sky to fall
melanoma
- Saturday, January 01, 2000 at 17:30:35 (PST)


Giving to live I thank you
I thank living give you
I thank giving thanks I give you
For living, loving , being you

Learning yearning to live
I am you living to learn
You learning, living to yearn
I am living you

Release me provoking touch
Breathe me I need too much
I release you I breathe
I release I need
I provoke much
You release touch
I breathe you back
You take myself and I

Thank you loving
You giving to live
Learning living to yearn
To love I love to
Live you I love
Jane
- Saturday, January 01, 2000 at 14:58:56 (PST)


There is a thin translucent wall of glass between us
I am wallowing in self pity on one side
And you are making due with what you have on the other
You go about your business and smile and wave every once in a while
I, However, have my face and hands pressed up to the glass

I don't even know who I am anymore
Jane
- Saturday, January 01, 2000 at 14:49:48 (PST)


1
when do two lesbians need a man?
when its time to bring the television back down the stairs.
2
when do two lesbians need a forklift?
when they take my dirty clothes to the laundrymat.
Anonymous
- Friday, December 31, 1999 at 21:35:25 (PST)


Happy New Years to you Jayme......may all aspire to
be as kind and gentle as you've been......
Auld Lang Syne~
- Friday, December 31, 1999 at 19:09:18 (PST)


" 'I see', says the blind man, who picked up his hammer and saw.."
The left chamber of his heart is full
And the heat from his fingertips
the heat from all the parts of this whole
parts of this hole

slowly melting
so surely dissolving
right as rain
and does it matter to you that all my energy goes out from me
when you walk in my direction

so keep dreaming with your eyes wide open
concealing with your eye of rain
hanker with your blood infection
turn around and die again

so what ailment have you, fair boy?

It's only your locality
stepping over boundaries
feeling my footing burn
but I will be there
I will be there
to save you
and give

what I have




to give

Eve
- Friday, December 31, 1999 at 14:58:38 (PST)


"GOODBYE SWEET ASS"

kiss it goodbye
the canal
was my state as a child
the water I,ve collected
the beans are stock piled
unspoiled

the russian reign begins tomorrow
goodbye to them and history rewritten
for hitlers sakes
we have blankets grandma made
and share the books for warmth
why radio
when radio is a lie
over
as for water we have buckets to collected the remains
the acid
undeplieted memories come on lets go to hell
with bibles and beatles and bottomless pits
for god is not manson
and long hair on a man is a sin
you shall burn
and we will survive
in every pot a chicken
in every pipe a board
in every bowl some pot
in every driveway a chevy
just as the lord intended
so pay the church
and milk it

Anonymous
- Friday, December 31, 1999 at 09:39:11 (PST)





Thank you so very much,
I always love to hear it.
that poem means a lot to me
it ranks right up there with this one

"I wish Maria would massage my feet"
>
> I sometimes gaze out the window
> feeling the pain
> wishing I could go back in time
> and hear Maria play the piano for me again
> but even more than that I wish
> that she would massage my feet.
> written by Travis Ray Cole{c}copyright1999
>
> I am also on this page
> and my upcoming projects include
> bieng published in many guest books
> Thank You,
> Travis Ray Cole....

IF THERE IS LOVE LIKE A THORN TO
STAB ME IN THE HEART IT IS NOTHING
THERE IS NO FEELING TO CAUSE PAIN
THERE IS NO PAIN TO KILL MEMORIES
THERE IS NO LIFE WITH OUT LOVE
WITHOUT A HOPE ONLY GINA COULD LOOK MY WAY
IT IS LOVE THAT SMILE
IT IS HEAT THAT STEALS MY HEART
IT IS I THAT IS TO BE THE LOVER OF ART
FOR GINA IS ONLY ART
IN MOVEMENT IN LOOKS
AND A CLOSENESS THAT IS ONLY IN MY HEART
SEXY AS A WORD IS GINA
A PRAYER TO THE HEAVENS
AND LIE TO THE SECOND HAND
TO HOLD HER IN TIME
FOREVER
THE SKIES TO THREATEN
WHAT MYTH COULD DENY
IT IS GINA THE ANSWER



Anonymous
- Friday, December 31, 1999 at 09:25:34 (PST)


everyone climb aboard the great big ashtray

and remember to fasten your seatbelts
`
- Friday, December 31, 1999 at 09:17:50 (PST)


Happy New Year Pretend...and to you all..
Z
- Friday, December 31, 1999 at 03:20:00 (PST)


"All I ever wanted, All I ever needed
Here...In my Arms
Words are very...unecessary
They can only do harm"...

~Depeche Mode
Jane
- Thursday, December 30, 1999 at 23:56:50 (PST)


Beautiful Cargo
Blooming in my backseat
I take place in arms of fabricated heaven
I am defeat

My Dew Drop Queen covers me
Bleeding in my backseat
I cannot breathe
I cannot be
Without my mask
Without your air
I'm incomplete

I want your infection
Jane
- Wednesday, December 29, 1999 at 23:56:48 (PST)


Peace and Love to all in the New Year.
Anonymous
- Wednesday, December 29, 1999 at 22:54:29 (PST)


About a year ago I began coming to this site
it quickly became my sanctuary
a place where I could write whatever I wanted
and express the feelings I couldnt in everyday life
and I could also read the wonderful works of all my favourite poets who reside here
like Eve, Jane, Travis Ray Cole, Zakai, and on and on
but then things began to turn sour
more of the people i knew started to write here
and sadly that lead to the destruction of what I once thought of as a literary home
I simply hate coming to this site
I see things that are needlessly written about me and my friends
it truely makes me sick
and it is utter nonsense
I have tried to remain silent about the issue
but it has refused to fizzle out
and I am sure that (as I am) all of the real poets who come here are quite sick of the intermediate gibberish
that has been posted
I feel that i have been the main cause of this grave misfortune
and for that I am going to try to rectify myself
I will no longer write at this site
as a matter of fact i will no longer look at this site
I am very sorry to the creator of this web page for all the destruction my presence has caused
and for all the other people who no doubt find this page as a sanctuary I apologize to you to
please keep writing and adding beauty to this quite drab world


Love,
Jayme Lynne Epperson

"we had cut our long hair off and replaced it with blue eyes of saddness, still acted like we were kids"

shelley I hope you still fall asleep on my words
Pretynd, Ventricle, Portia, Black forest, Virgin Whore, Plyna
- Wednesday, December 29, 1999 at 21:05:53 (PST)


APPARENTLY YOU (WHO EVER THE FUCK YOU ARE) DONT HAVE A LIFE, AND IF YOU DONT LIKE
MY LATINO SPEAKING, DICK SUCKING, ADAM LOVING,
LIFE THEN STAY THE FUCK OUT OF IT BECAUSE IT HAS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU AND I DONT WANT TO COME HERE AND READ THIS SHIT ABOUT ME OR ANY OF MY FRIENDS SO WHY DONT YOU GROW THE FUCK UP AND GET A LIFE!!!

YOURS TRUELY
LITTLE J
- Wednesday, December 29, 1999 at 20:51:06 (PST)


here am I
dragged through the mire
too wet for hot
too cold for fire

holy cats, just slap a tail on me..
King rules

I love your shoes
OH, jeez, yeah
and I like the bag of guts and waters I turned into
just now

and it's all for you
all for you
my dear

To all girls,just a question: Why do such CUTE guys have such UGLY girlfriends?
Eve
- Wednesday, December 29, 1999 at 20:23:11 (PST)


There once was a boy from Cumberland Road
He had a sheep and there he shot his load



PS

Is that little thing Y2K compliant?

Thoughts from Jack Handee
- Wednesday, December 29, 1999 at 18:27:47 (PST)


Attention All Farmers:

Sheep sodomizer on the loose! Lock up your livestock.
The only physical description given was of this prick
about 5'5'' tall, dork-hornrimmed glasses, a fag-pony
tail, and seen leaving the scene with him was this short fat, latino speaking female. If you see this
couple, approach with caution, he has been known to
consider himself GOD, and she eats anything that dosen't eat her first. Call your local West Virginia
State Police Department. Do not try to apprehend on
your own. If you find no other choice in the situation
gut shoot him, and feed her something and you should
be safe.
Adam Wooten "damn Im a good sheep fucker"
- Wednesday, December 29, 1999 at 18:09:16 (PST)


hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!

I JUST SAW A HAMPSTER AT THE MALL WITH A BIGGER PENIS
THAN WOOTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HEY FAT GIRL WANNA SUCK THAT
ONE TOO ??????????????


PS WOOOT,

WHERES YO DADDI ?????????????????????? FUCKIN HA HA !
Anonymous
- Wednesday, December 29, 1999 at 12:48:00 (PST)


I HATE WOOTEN AND HIS FAGGOT BROTHER AND HIS LOOSER MOTHER THAT COULDN'T EVEN KEEP HER HUSBAND. YOU POOR
LITTLE POOR MOTHER FUCKERS I HOPE ALL OF YA ROT IN
WOOTEN HELL. OH AND BEFORE I FORGET WOOTEN FUCKS
HIS BROTHER UP THE ASS WHEN HE CAN'T GET LITTLE FAT
J TO SUCK HIS DICK.......DID YOU KNOW THAT LITTLE J?
DID YOU KNOW THAT WOOT TELLS EVERYONE THAT YOU ARE NOT
WORTHY OF HIS COCK.....THAT YOU ARE JUST GOOD ENUFF
TO SUCK IT?????????????? GET SOME PRIDE, AND YOU
WOOTENS ARE JUST ABOUT TO GET WHATS DESERVED!
Anonymous
- Wednesday, December 29, 1999 at 12:28:50 (PST)


Sohn Epper wischt ihren Kolben mit ihrer eigenen Hand ab


Hans Nurenburg
- Wednesday, December 29, 1999 at 00:18:17 (PST)


You know what Mr."God" (please remember people spell these things backwards), You are one dumb son of a bitch...yes that's right I'm calling you something less than a mentally retarded nazi. What the hell man... er...animal(?), just go away... go crawl in your little...umm...BIG latrine (shit hole for all the mentally retarded nazis in the room) and die! I'm running out of ideas to write about you with. that's bad!! Let's try a different approach, Mr."God" we know that you were dropped on your head repeatedly and that both your folks are inbred sheep (which you sodomized of course), and that your childhood was spent not making the cut for the jock thing, believe me shit head you've got the fuckin brains for it! alright so then I'm thinking children teased you about your fat ass looks and how you smell (which I've been told is far worse than all the shit in the world). And then it happened, the worst possible thing for Mr. I'm hung like a parakeet: Puberty! "OH NO!!!" the fat mentally retarded nazi exclaimes "I used to be too fat to see my penis but now I have to find it in all that hair!!! I'M DOOMED!" this is when you realized your own bestiality and started sodomizing sheep because no one wanted your fat stinky ass around, and now here we are... you pitiful CHILD! Grow the fuck up.
Anonymous
- Wednesday, December 29, 1999 at 00:12:31 (PST)


Dear Emyaj,

Just for the record the reason you are so insecure about "Tap" is because you KNOW deep down in your heart that even he thinks you are down right hideous.

How could anyone find your pimple-covered manly back attractive...EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

Come on people imagine this with me: You're screwing some chick and you grab ahold of her back for some leverage and it feels like you're running your hand across a page out of a brail book...and it's greasy and smelly and you get little pieces of skin under your fingernails...makes me shudder jsut to think about it. Then you lift your hand up and it's all covered in blood and puss...EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

Do ya'll remember Fraggle Rock? Huh? Well remember the BIG-ASS pile of trash that talked? It had bugs flying around it and those wierd wavy stink lines rising off of it. You know the green lines on cartoons that rise off of smelly things? Well, that's how I've always pictured Jayme's filthy diseased ridden VAGINA.

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

Matt Wooten
God rest his soul
1984-1999

Justin Something
R.I.P
1981-1999

Pat (Tap)
Poor Bastard
1982-1999


I feel sorry for you all, but what the HELL were you thinking?
EEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW


I bet she wipes her butt with her own hand!
Johnny Cougar
- Tuesday, December 28, 1999 at 23:33:30 (PST)


First off I WON!
for God's (my) sake get it right.
I mean I got what I wanted
she only got her book back because
she succumbed to the power and the glory
that is WOOTEN.
Jesus Christ man, she gave in to get what she wanted
so I won.

anyway i gotta go

-Adam Wooten
"Goddamn he's Great"

Cheeses K. Rice
- Tuesday, December 28, 1999 at 23:14:58 (PST)


ha ha ha haaaah ahahahaaaaaaa ahahaaaaaaa haaa
HAAA haa
PINK FLOYD WAS TRYING TO TELL YOU SOMETHING
Anonymous
- Tuesday, December 28, 1999 at 22:11:44 (PST)


My cat has a huge big ass bone sticking out of its foot!
it is really scary and I feel like dying every time that I see it
hey bub.... did you know some ignorant mother fucker hit my car outside your house?
"you stupid mother fucker you hit my goddamn car ... you haul your ass back here so I can stomp it for I hunt you down you stupid son of a bitch"
(in funny chink voice of course)
attention WAL-MART shoppers
there is a red light special in aisle six
on non-imported inexpensive imposter perfume
the new low low price is only
six dollars and six six cent
have a nice afternoon and remember to be safe while driving
and once again!
thank you for shopping WAL-MART


*I'm a little girl and I come from a china had a mighty long trip a coming down here... the wind it a blew and it kick a up the water makes a little china girl feel mighty queer*
Pretynd
- Tuesday, December 28, 1999 at 20:35:10 (PST)


If I were God we would never see a straight moment
Cigarretes would be infinite
and I would be rich thanks to all my devout worshipping me out there.
Remember: Send me your money.
If I were God life would be a more happier place
because I wouldn't take anyone away
no one would have to fight for someone else's life and no one would hear: "It was simply there time to go..."
life would just be really mellow
Happiness would be a measure of one's life and love
people who had neither would be given LIFE WELFARE
and soup would be the basis of religion everywhere
If I were God we would have peace and you know why?
Because I'm not some fuct up individual who believes these things should be short and every bad goddamned thing to happen lasted forever! That and what the head honcho says Goes.
Wannabe God
- Tuesday, December 28, 1999 at 15:05:57 (PST)


If I had a life I would give in to suicide
and since I have a pulse... can I borrow your knife?
With morning death breath and a mug of black gook
I take my scalding shower melting into myself and I come out a god.
Yes that's right nice cold coca cola and a shotgun in the mouth can't compare to a toaster in the bathtub.
So I say in my blue hospital socks: "Goddamn rabid fleas on crack!!" and step off the chair to swing.

Just another insane wal-mart shopper
- Tuesday, December 28, 1999 at 14:52:07 (PST)


To my precious Tap


I wonder if you watched me sleep
while I was lying beside you
if you could see with every breath
that I exhaled your name
I remember stirring once
when you kissed me on the cheek
I wonder if you were angry
when I read you
your pleasure was soon
subsided by your insecurity
rest assured
no game piece
no pawn
and from the first day you should have known
you had me too
and you wonder why I love you?!?
Ventricle
- Tuesday, December 28, 1999 at 12:26:59 (PST)


if I tried to live
I would sleep on the train and miss my stops
then be late
and freeze my ass off
and who could rest anyway moving with all those

Anonymous
- Tuesday, December 28, 1999 at 01:10:55 (PST)


Waiting For the Beast

Picture what only you can see.
The dawn breaking between the mountain peaks
with dark foreboding clouds raging inside, you wait,
look out to taste the light.
From the shadows you feel it come Energy and Darkness,
all one.
You've been prepared, waiting for this, your body is hard your mind is quick. It approaches so fast, so hard, as if in a rage. You feel it grasp you , tear at you , bite you .
Soon you are taken to the ground held down hard, never to see the beast. The sweat begins to glisten off your breasts.
You feel as if your being opened inside. The breathing
you feel about your neck as the beast explores your body with rage and purpose, he is making you his own
it moves with growls over your back you feel it's mouth
taking you in, pulling you in, preparing you , but this
you know, you have waited so long for this time in the dirt of the forest. Deep but soon and with purpose and
rage holds your mouth down with force to be filled, thrusting inside you feel it grow, preparing itself for
its purpose, its goal it holds your head tight in its hands you feel your breasts being tormented in pain as
the beast squeezes them in his rage inside your magic mind is fogged by passions that call your teeth to bear down on the beasts manhood. You hold him in your lips, your breasts pulled up to service the beast, all you feel is the power of being taken in the dirt, and then you feel it, your passion is matched by his own.
The beast has mounted his mate, he has made her his own
thrusting in deep you meet his every move, only the beast controls it all. You feel complete, purpose and
passion fulfilled, your heard calmed soon you feel the hot liquid of life the growl of the beast as he holds you to the ground, task completed, you lay motionless as he dismounts. Throughout the morning mist you move closer to the beast, your lips close around his manhood
you submit to him again. He takes you up you see the rage has subsided, its inside you now,you feel its burning warmth his lips crushed against yours you feel the strength in his arms. The rage is now love, he has mated you and now your his own. You know in your heart you are not weak, but beneath the rage you seek to be fulfilled, again you must submit within his arms you rest now and sleep.


Brief Explination:

Submission can be so pleasurably painfull, this is a
poem wrote for me by a lover, the beast, and I was his
conquest and equal. I hope you see the beauty.


One lucky Lady
- Tuesday, December 28, 1999 at 00:01:58 (PST)


I can see the wake of the war
for life goes on
I can see her on a moutian of money with her long hair flowing in the wind
and eyes all big and bright
holding a big bucket of chicken
wearing that white dress
and heels
smilin
at meand I see a toaster
and shes sitting on the hood of my camaro
how warm the chicken
the steam would roll
and as the fog blocks out the beauty of the chevy emblem
I notice her
rings are not gold
and she is everything as fur elise plays
and never more means more than ever before
could the thought of movement be made in mind
the chicken would not last for ever
the sidewalks would roll up and the moon can not cook the chicken
to its full flavor
the 350 engine would bake the beast
as we wind along the moutianside
at the dusk to our choice of preselected sounds
given to us as a means of entertainment
could we have or ask for more?
Anonymous
- Monday, December 27, 1999 at 23:26:52 (PST)


Oh how lovely
only you have the taste
the outside
right to the bone
bonita
how pretty
the es pollo my chicken I love you
in each and every bite
cooked full
juicy
all I could ask for in a fantasy
I hunger for you
yes chicken
you are my desire
I would not eat with out thinking of your legs
and there is nothing to taste like your taste
how hot and warm and spicy
you are beautiful chicken
with bread
or pototatos
and beans and milk
and beer or pop
could I want anything else?
Anonymous
- Monday, December 27, 1999 at 23:16:00 (PST)


Messages keep gettin clearer
I take a look in the mirror
wanna change my clothes, my
hair, my face.....man I aint
gettin no where....baby we're
just dancin in the dark.


From the lovely and talented Springsteen!!!!!
Bruce Rules !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Bruce/Fan
- Monday, December 27, 1999 at 22:06:19 (PST)


they are lifeless.
they are alone in the ways of the pancake.
they know not that if you eat too much of mi mi's pizza that you will grow sick.
i am the student.
i am the teacher.
know the things that i do.
i am not scared.
i am lonely,but you are so oblivious to such.
they are my friends.
they dwell inside my mind.
you will meet them in merry time , you will meet them.



J.L.E+P.R.B=h.A.P.p.I.n.E.S.s....and remember to pick up the spilled cop porn .
Reverse_Smurf
- Monday, December 27, 1999 at 10:31:35 (PST)


on the first day ,all was golden , loving and true.
on the second day ,all just fell through.
too much payne on broken loves glass.
too much payne on the arm of the vein i missed.
too much payne on the ways of times pass.
too much payne.....too much payne...
the third day was one to recover , the madness , the anger gone not that far away.
the third day to recover.....so slowly i do..


i love you jayme......so so sweet....words so true and no way to show....fuct up my brain , cant maintain.....
..................................POOBOT
Reverse_Smurf
- Monday, December 27, 1999 at 09:23:56 (PST)


I only give what
then you need to
continue the search
in order to go thru
the process we call
research.
Anonymous
- Monday, December 27, 1999 at 07:54:41 (PST)


accept not as is
and instead ask why
thats the only way
personally you will
understand and not be
fed someone elses mind
Do not be silenced and
simply just go along
speak your reactions
and if they merely
understand they will
not be so inclined
to steal personally
your own mind thoughts.



I can be touched but
I can not be seen



Anonymous
- Monday, December 27, 1999 at 07:46:33 (PST)


while you were napolian
you smoked up 25000 dollars in crack
Anonymous
- Sunday, December 26, 1999 at 22:28:00 (PST)


while you smoked up 25000 dollars in rock
you couldve shoved a corvette up your ass
Anonymous
- Sunday, December 26, 1999 at 22:25:28 (PST)


after you smoked up 25000 dollars in crack
you were living on it
{living on it}
living on it
after you smoked up 25 grand in crack
it seemed so miniscule the face value of a vacuum cleaner
as stock market rocks
hey priemo
over here
while you were smoking up 25000 dollars in crack
your friends
not prejudce intended
needed to borrow money
while you smoked up 25000 dollars in crack
Anonymous
- Sunday, December 26, 1999 at 22:24:06 (PST)


while you was smoking up 25000 dollars in crack
you cracked
and you missed it when your shit came in
and dont you remember waiting for your shit to come in?
your shit came in and you fucking missed it
then it just washed away down the same drain
Anonymous
- Sunday, December 26, 1999 at 22:19:22 (PST)


Whilist you was smoking up 25000 dollars in crack
it was all my fault
everything
because
it is I who is wrong
very wrong
yep
Anonymous
- Sunday, December 26, 1999 at 22:09:33 (PST)


Angela
I love you so much it is written
in blood in vain in love
Angela oh Angela
how could I live without
Angela
please do not look away
I love for I only love you
without that I love I would surely not be here
I would not exist
you are inspiration
to me you are life

How tender and lovely her eyes
the eyes that look at me
Angela so beautiful
a walking living dream
you know it

"Angela {sculpture of love}"
Have the heavens cast you down
for my eyes to behold

what master has drawn this form come true
living art of life shaped into warm flesh
delicious Angela poetry herself a dream
exotic

Angela
to move is to attract attention
to smile is heart stealing
ripping the insides out

to glance in your direction
is to film the living art inside my mind
to be played and replayed a hundred times
Angela there is no art but Angela

an Angel to steal my mind
I love only Angela
I lust only for Angela
angela be mine

Oh Angela with movements of art
and art would be your name
so beautiful as the ocean at sundown
like a flower in the spring
Angela your dark hair
as that of a lustful mane
would I hope to see tomorrow
if ever I could hold you and have the chance to say
ANGELA my ANGELA
an angel
who could not love you
who could compare you
inside a heart that could feel love
if there was a heaven it holds your name
inside the mind of lovers Angela
you drive me to the edge


Anonymous
- Sunday, December 26, 1999 at 22:07:34 (PST)


KUDOS TO JAYME for being the perfect lady and
the WINNER !!!!!!!!!!!!!
The lovely, lovely poetry book is once again home.
And all of Pandora's Box knows what a waste of skin
and oxygen Wooten is.......and always will be.

Yep! It's a gread day here in the good 'ol USA !
your secret friend~
- Sunday, December 26, 1999 at 17:43:10 (PST)


It will never be enough...
Don't you see?
Until you find that semi-flawless peace of mind
until you reach the semi-ultimate acceptance
whatever the anti-dancing boy may say or do
It will never be enough
In all honesty...
can someone give that much?
Dirty Cyclops
- Sunday, December 26, 1999 at 12:01:08 (PST)


INSECURITY
I posses it I
manifest it
and all I want is for you to say you love me
so much that it hurts
for you to hold me
and find your love so great
you tell strangers on the street
all along in this dream state some poeple
like to call my life
I have been made to feel ugly
unwanted
unworthy
unloved
so of course I have a problem believing you
and when I ask for the reinforcments I desire
I dont need to see you roll your eyes
and act as if I am a horrible evil witch for ever doubting your holy word
there are things you need and there are things I need
Goddamnit
And I need your reassurance
and maybe once I got it I would leave you alone
Ventricle
- Sunday, December 26, 1999 at 10:23:25 (PST)


boom,its you there in the window.
piggy piggy pig pigtails on her head , oh by the way wooten just stright up bottom line isnt the greatest.a subject touched upon for the fact of this,im tired of seeing it on this page.this will now give you a reason to print it over and over to make the woot the man.well i hope you feel good inside and i actually am glad as hell the "dispute" with you and jayme are over cause i dont even know you and visions of pipe bombs dance in my head (stab stab).well this is the smurf man telling you to print those lines,keep em coming and do enjoy that cream box set.
Reverse_Smurf
- Sunday, December 26, 1999 at 10:01:31 (PST)


I LOVE ADAM I LOVE ADAM
I LOVE ADAM I LOVE ADAM
I LOVE ADAM I LOVE ADAM
I LOVE ADAM I LOVE ADAM
I LOVE ADAM I LOVE ADAM
I LOVE ADAM I LOVE ADAM


Anonymous
- Sunday, December 26, 1999 at 09:29:44 (PST)


while you was smoking up 25000 dollars in crack
and lieing about not drinking
you let god piss all over us
and traded your brain for a tuna fish sandwich
Anonymous
- Saturday, December 25, 1999 at 22:54:29 (PST)



"FAVORITE PLAY"
In the front role,non-existant to a paraelle world
as you refelect the society you would have blamed
for when your cure is more,more than ever before
and if I hated to see you with him
I hated to see you,at all,or with me
and how could that be
there is no mirror between
the thin line marking making maybe merging into stage
your space
where do you get your scripts?
who draws you so art of non-art?
happy to be angry within bieng without me
thinking me in mind won't answer your prayers
or steal your breath
won't give you life you don't want
or begin to breach in peace
back roll tribal,spine drawn etched through X-ray
left hand bio-mechanical frozen still
holding roses blood red dying as soon as they were
stolen.out of my mind your anger does not effect
your actions and this will never be drawn or acted on
as long your memory is distant from your little dream.
before the curtain before there was a godless love for
an exit,deserved,marked territores deep on the floor
If the core was center the heart you drove deep into
hell emerges in pain written from method but only
improvised upon with haste and decor expecting help
with nothing as sarcasim bounces around the walls
asking you to join in on que of coarse when the
prop no longer entertains the crowd players audiance
you rule the jury of none unless skitzifriendlyia sets
in again
and so innocently your lines pour out of the tip of your
brillant mind
reciting classic decay leaving me bored again.
bored with the acting lying,the whole game
intricate instruments are not props
and stopped clocks can't tell time
I don't need to know who you love if your hatred
is felt between each line


written by travis ray cole
Act two


Anonymous
- Saturday, December 25, 1999 at 22:46:41 (PST)


while you was smoking up 25000 dollars in crack
i was trying to remain myself
while you looked thru the hole for the key
i was saying goodbye to anything left
Anonymous
- Saturday, December 25, 1999 at 22:41:57 (PST)


"Sliding alternating thirds"
by
Travis Ray Cole

At what degree are you going to leave me
when will I notice your already going to go
the seventh time hitting the ninth note
while the wah is gain more than speed
At what point did you remember
theres more of us to know
and a circle of notes echo in gone
eleven eleven eleven mutliplied by an emotionless tone
theres no yesteryday saved and where do we got to go?


Copyright{c}1999
Travis Ray Cole can be e-mailed at oeoeoe@usa.net


triplet
- Saturday, December 25, 1999 at 22:30:44 (PST)


parts of three
by
Travis Ray Cole . .

"Stolen Away"
by
Travis Ray Cole

THE FIRST SEVEN WHERE HOLLOW
AND AUGMENTED RIPPING INTO DREAMS
AND LIEING TO TOMMOROW
EVEN IN THE CIRCLE
WHERE THE CORE WAS SOLID AND STEEL INSIDE THE SEAMS
aint fucking around"

With 11 santana tributes to
LOOK i LOVE YOU
theres no way that I
only mine would never thieve
the circle keeps turning
not circle
E suspend 7th the second time
my heart could only bleed
on the first page of the sixth note was
the feeling
I'd die for thee
so then theres the winner
all blonde
alright and tall and sweet
aroUnd and round the wheel was turning
he played hey joe until we could sleep
"I aint fucking around"
INSIDE THE PEDAL
WAHHHHHHHHHHH WAH
FLANGED AT FULL SPEED
I looked inside tommorrow
With 11 santana tributes to gina
theres no way that I
only mine would never thieve
the circle keeps turning
not circle encompussing in a series
around
not to be confused by any other
hitting every single one eventullay feedback sayes
temptures of some degrees
a pattern only decieded by the stars`
a direction to place the sound explaining you
looking
Im looking
only to explain you to me
and tremolo crosspicking slides
would love you for me
I'm looking
looking pretty good to me
borrrowed tommoarow
I know when you look at me
E suspend7th the second time
my heart could only bleed
in taggence love like sense of feeling
sell hatred to where
fell bleeding valentines at hells gate
the wheels keep turning theres point somewhere to keep
he played hey joe until we could sleepthere was 11 times around the thirds would lie to me
I'm looking
I'm looking
I'm looking

for a girl like you
I'm looking
I'm looking
I'm looking
I just had to look twice
theres no way to forget


wHERE THERES NO WAY TO REMEMBER
THERES NO HOPE IN POEM
WHY


Copyright{c}1999
Travis Ray Cole


e-mail at oeoeoe@usa.net

hOW MANY WORDS
COME ON MACHINE
HOW MANY WORDS AND WHEN YOU DREAM
ITS GONNA BE GONE


Copyright 1999
Anonymous
- Saturday, December 25, 1999 at 22:28:56 (PST)


"Stolen Away"
by
Travis Ray Cole

aint fucking around

With 11 santana tributes to gina
theres no way that I
only mine would never thieve
the circle keeps turning
not circle
E suspend7ththe second time
my heart could only bleed

arond and round the wheel was turning
he played hey joe until we could sleep
"I aint fucking around"

With 11 santana tributes to gina
theres no way that I
only mine would never thieve
the circle keeps turning
not circle
E suspend7th the second time
my heart could only bleed
in taggence love like sense of feeling
sell hatred to where
fell bleeding valentines at hells gate
the wheels keep turning theres point somewhere to keep
he played hey joe until we could sleepthere was 11 times around the thirds would lie to me
I'm looking
I'm looking
I'm looking

for a girl like you
I'm looking
I'm looking
I'm looking
I just had to look twice
theres no way to forget


wHERE THERES NO WAY TO REMEMBER
THERES NO HOPE IN POEM
WHY

copyright{c}1999
Travis Ray Cole can be e-mailed at oeoeoe@usa.net

Anonymous
- Saturday, December 25, 1999 at 22:26:50 (PST)


With 11 santana tributes to gina
theres no way that I
only mine would never thieve
the circle keeps turning
not circle
E suspend7ththe second time
my heart could only bleed

arond and round the wheel was turning
he played hey joe until we could sleep"I aint fucking around"

With 11 santana tributes to gina
theres no way that I
only mine would never thieve
the circle keeps turning
not circle
E suspend7th the second time
my heart could only bleed
in taggence love like sense of feeling
sell hatred to where
fell bleeding valentines at hells gate
the wheels keep turning theres point somewhere to keep
he played hey joe until we could sleepthere was 11 times around the thirds would lie to me

Travis Ray Cole
Copyright{c}1999
Anonymous
- Saturday, December 25, 1999 at 22:24:07 (PST)


I've lost heaven,
the lovely angel with dark hair,
whose favorite number was seven.
and her favorite pastime was to share
My time with me; she shed the light
like the full moon miles away.
She came to me every night
but she was gone by the day.
Where is my angel, my light, my life,
the most beautiful lady ever seen.
Where is my ward against the strife
the beauty whose name is Dinah Kathleen?
Cheshire Cat
- Saturday, December 25, 1999 at 22:23:25 (PST)





> IF THERE IS LOVE LIKE A THORN TO
> STAB ME IN THE HEART IT IS NOTHING
> THERE IS NO FEELING TO CAUSE PAIN
> THERE IS NO PAIN TO KILL MEMORIES
> THERE IS NO LIFE WITH OUT LOVE
> WITHOUT A HOPE ONLY GINA COULD LOOK MY WAY
> IT IS LOVE THAT SMILE
> IT IS HEAT THAT STEALS MY HEART
> IT IS I THAT IS TO BE THE LOVER OF ART
> FOR GINA IS ONLY ART
> IN MOVEMENT IN LOOKS
> AND A CLOSENESS THAT IS ONLY IN MY HEART
> SEXY AS A WORD IS GINA
> A PRAYER TO THE HEAVENS
> AND LIE TO THE SECOND HAND
> TO HOLD HER IN TIME
> FOREVER
> THE SKIES TO THREATEN
> WHAT MYTH COULD DENY
> IT IS GINA THE ANSWER
>
>




>
> why they may have slept with Jack Ginsberg
> before he was nobody
> can the hearing impaired have voices
> in thier heads?
> mine have a narrator
> It is so sweet my new stalker is writing to me under ten different names
> sending me pages and pages of love poetry
> which I delete unread and tell her
> it was very good.
> mirroring the mirror of film
> Grandma and Mom always buy me the ugliest prostitutes
>
+Name Dropper"
>
> Your not Steven Spielberg
> alan ginsberg,alan ginsberg
> Mark Twain
> the new Kauraocs
> less vauge {more accessible}
> and surrellist like we like
> we don't need your guilt pain
> we dont need your guilt pain
> bieng published dictionary?
> Does that include making hundreds
> of copies and littering I mean satuaerating the
> intersection of milwakee and damien?
> I won a small garlic press,that means what?
> I won a small garlic press
>
>
>
>
>




beatuiful witches burning
in the heavens
angel of my eye
prey on
> Please help me to get across the line
> I'll be back for you,I'm not lying
>
> if I stay here I'll end up dyin
===============================================
>
> "The Ballad of Bob and Emmy"
>
> While her plumbing was up to code
> it was the code of that country that carries
> buckets of water on their heads.
> that would have to be enough.
> they would make it.
> although the times were not that of Bonnie and clyde
> He bought my canoe.then smashed his guitar on his keyboard.
> Whenever the bird got out
> it would shit all over the paintings grandma passed
> around claiming the art teacher only helped her create.
> hoping to keep the used water bed with fungus growing inside pretending
that elephants dont throw their own
> shit on sunny afternoons at the zoo.
> she liked chicken but I took her to white castle in the
> blizzard on the way home before passing the oasis
> she was good but who isnt?
> in the drive thru,the man gave her a free drink for waiting
> and then she lied some more.When I got home I made sure
> the door was locked so they would'nt steal the canned goods.
>
> take it easy
> Travis Ray Cole
>
> email oeoeoe@usa.net



>
> " up to ravenswood"
>
>
>
>
>
>
> "Up to Ravenswood"
>
> Well pa would get mad
> if we did'nt wanna stand in line to get vittles,
> said you wanna eat?
> The preacher she took a strong dislike to me
> and didnt give me no pasta
> in the bags she was handing out to everyone
> so it was 'bout then.I decided
> I did'nt wanna go up to the chuch on wedenesday nights in ravenswood,
> but the kenmore and lawrence church liked
> me fine.We ran the alleys all day up kenmore
> between Sheridian and Western from loyola
> to way down to past armitage in an old ford
> and sat out in the alleys drinking fortys of the cheapest milwakee piss
> made.
> When I wanted to move the gun held under the oven with magnets so we could
> cook
> he got mad
> so one night I wanted to shoot the television
> like elvis and he said we'ld get kicked out
> He brought home a big old Indian once
> and I made love to her
> when he brought home a pretty little whore
> I left them alone and she robbed him.
> So we found somebody in the street
> selling cheese like like we was collectors
> rught up until the government did'nt wanna give 'em no more.
> Up at sallys one day I got a bowl of grits or meal and was happy to get it
> til I
> scooped a big roach up and then puked back into the bowl,go to through it
> away
> and somebody wants it from me.Months later I got the chills could'nt move
> for 3
> days,my dad says"you wanna eat?"so I went to stand in the crowd at the day
> labor
> but could'nt stand that day
> and when I made the line at breakfast it was a long one and somebody goes in
> the
> pantry from the kitchen,and I seen all them cans.
> He came out,and I stuck my foot in the door
> snuk in and got me 3 cans of uncut soup
> went home and was soon cured.
> I made that 'ol macaroni for wendy once,
> but she did'nt like it.
> I found a blue eyed squall somewheres and we took to each other she bought
> me a
> burrito and a case of old style and since it was summer we camped on the
> roof of
> the hideaway
> where it was cooler at night.
> Well one day down to the soup kitchen they had let a cute but crazy black
> woman
> out just a little to soon and since I had long
> hair she goes into yelling "you ain't Jesus,you ain't Jesus" at me.
> I laughed and people starts getting up and
> bringing me thier bowls of potato soup
> like it was some kinda cool hand luke trick but,I was just the "guitar
> player"round them parts so when I try to eat there the last time,incognito
> don't
> exist.Some of 'em call me the name of the "L" stop I sung the "50 cent song"
> at,and some say "look at him all schooled up".
> Right about the time I was gonna try those seeing eye glasses you know the
> welfare frames I wanted em tinted cause the cabs drove around with thier
> bright
> lights on at
> night blinding the crap outta me.
> so I get the frames paid extra for tinted
> and walk out of the eye place on broadway just south of wilson
> when my dad starts a yelling "look at hollywood,theres hollywood"and my
> brother
> laughs and I tell 'em "call me Johnny.
> Johnny F.N. Hollywood"
> Written by Travis Ray
>
>
>
>
> {{{{"angel kisses angel hair"}}}}}
>
> SO what if they are painting the roses red::::
> something bleed red::::
> angel kisses angel hair:::::::
> I love you, do you not care::::
> does it matter if its in dee minor any more:::
> I think of you::::
> angel kisses angel hair:::::::
> whats a runway::::
> your right there::::
> why do I always come back to you:::::
> and write of you alone:::::
> angel kisses angel hair::::
> angel I ask,it is not fair:::
> angel kisses angel hair:::::::
> angel kisses your right there::::
> still outta reach:::
> :::::Written by::::::travis
>
> _______________________________________________________
Answers
- Saturday, December 25, 1999 at 22:20:23 (PST)


Fit, fight

smit, smite,

your hair could

suffer great damage.

The pony-tail that hangs

could be scanned and sent

just the same :-)
Anonymous
- Saturday, December 25, 1999 at 22:04:29 (PST)


She Thinks
by
Travis Ray Cole


"Things Jill thinks when she Urinates"

We may have slept with Jack Ginsberg before he was nobody
can the hearing impaired have voices in their heads? mine have a narrator
It is so sweet my new stalker is writing to me under ten different names
sending me pages and pages of love poetry
which I delete unread and tell her it was very good. mirroring the mirror of film
Grandma and Mom always buy me the ugliest prostitutes
Your not Steven Spielberg Mark Twain the new Kauraocs less vauge {more accessible}
and surreal like we like it
we don't need your guilt pain we dont need your guilt pain bieng published dictionary?
Does that include making hundreds of copies and littering
I mean satuaerating the intersection of milwakee and damien?
I won a small garlic press,that means what?I won a small garlic press
Written by Travis Ray Cole



> "Things Jill thinks when she Urinates"
>
> We may have slept with
> Jack Ginsberg before he was nobody
> before he was nobody
> can the hearing impaired have voices
> in thier heads?
> mine have a narrator
> It is so sweet my new stalker is writing to me
> under ten different names
> sending me pages and pages of love poetry
> which I delete unread and tell her
> it was very good.
> mirroring the mirror of film
> Grandma and Mom always buy me the ugliest prostitutes
> Your not Steven Spielberg
> Mark Twain the new Kauraocs
> less vauge {more accessible}
> and surreal like we like it
> we don't need your guilt pain
> we dont need your guilt pain
> bieng published dictionary?
> Does that include making hundreds
> of copies and littering
> I mean satuaerating the
> intersection of milwakee and damien?
> I won a small garlic press,that means what?
> I won a small garlic press
> Written by Travis Ray Cole
>

Anonymous
- Saturday, December 25, 1999 at 21:59:06 (PST)


all my friends are taking over.
to make a mess of me.
all my friends are.
broken on glass.
to make mess of me.
i saw a river fall from heaven.
rain mistakes on me.
and i saw your mother shoot your father.
killed herself the same.


i dont listen much to reason,everybody wants to be here
santa clause has lost his mind.
easter bunny's not a rabbit,tricks are made for kids and the,psuedo psycho mental dreams will fly.
everyone just ran around just playing games wuth antisocials,no one ever taught you how to fall.
well i dont listen much to argue,everyones a fuckin psycho,no one ever taught you how to die.
take it off.
shoot it off.
show me how you used to fly.
Reverse_Smurf
- Saturday, December 25, 1999 at 18:47:59 (PST)


as radical as it seems , the world is the overboard time machine of the ghetto gutter . we all live here , sitting with our friends all by ourselves.i want my baby back . come home to level outsides.mommy ....are you there ? i didnt mean to hit you in the head with that shovel. the bright will soon sythe my soul and the struggle will be alone longside thesnake eyed dreams , the shift key pressed vice on my heart . frozen , all i wanted was kentucky and a pepsi. only the weird thing is all i got was you and a coke. and i think that denis leary said it best when he said "hey!,i can drive"
Reverse_Smurf
- Saturday, December 25, 1999 at 18:23:33 (PST)




Richard Donald Underwood III
UNCLE David Setliff! ( The accountant )
Jessyca Hope Blankenship
Melissa, Eve, Foster, Brandi, Travis Ray Cole, Wes, The bartender's Ass, Christina, Terry, Culver,Mick Foley, Scruggs, Meachum, Shott, Stonestreet, WENDY BRAY, Burgess, Christen Carper, Jodi Taylor, Elisha Cuppett, Stephanie Fowler, Amanda Cochran, Charles Bently, John Henson, Chris and Beth Henry, Mr. Godfrey, Mr. Bourne, Mr. Hankey, Kenny, Kyle, Cartman, Stan, Beavis, Butt-head, Bo Duke, Luke Duke, Daisy, Uncle Jessie, Rosco P. Colet,rain, Boss Hogg, The 1988 Oakland A's, Droz, Jesus, Satan, Enus, Christopher Walken, Keith Richards, Eric Clapton, Ginger Baker, Jack Bruce, Jeff Beck, Jimmy Page, Joe F. Perry, DMX, ODB, Ja-Rule, Paul Stanley, Gene Simmons, Peter Criss, ACE FREHLEY, Bruce Kulick, Vinnie Vincent, Eric Carr, Eric Singer, Jessica Comer, Barry Dillon, Bigger Thomas, Jared Barker, Shawn Michaels, Jericho, SABU, RVD, Brandy Bagar, Paige Mustard, BROOKE BOURNE, Matthew Wooten, Lala Wooten, James Richard Wooten, Tammy Underwood, Richard Underwood Jr., T-Bone, Cooter, Effie Epperson, Bob Epperson, the one armed guy who hangs around downtown, Thomas J. Whitmore, Bruce Raven, Wedny Bray,Drake Calloway, Stephanie Ballargin (?), Pete, the guys at Anheiser-Busch, Jack Daniels, Jim Bean, Joel "whether at home or here in Dayton the women are watchin me and maturbatin" Gertner, Cyrus, Joey Styles, Anthony Perdue, Spyder Crowley, Johnny Blast, Ward and June, Brian Logan, Joey Morton, Jared Rottenberry, J.D. Rottenberry, Grandmasta Sexxy, Scotty Too Hotty, Danny Cameron, Heather Lyons, Jamie Hypes, Leah Hypes, Michael Williams, Brandon Williams, Last year's French chick, This years french chick, Kelly Howell, Jessica Stamper, Hannah Stamper, Ryan Stamper, Jeff Burnopp, Caressa Barton, her older sister who was cool, Sarah Kinder, Sarah Stevenson, Stephanie Walk, Steve Matthews, Thomas White, Arron Combs, Ben and Jerry, Daniel Mounts, the guy who "raped" Elisha Cuppett, Shannon Stewart, Mike Haddox, the Puppies, Ulysses, GENERAL LEE, KIT, David Hasslehoff, Jan Micheal Vincent, The guy in teh cartoon who turned into his car, the smurfs, the FRAGGLEs, Wendy Bray, Mario and Luigi, Sonic the Hedgehog, Walt Disney's cremated body, Pricess Di (in hell), JFK Jr., Hitler, Musolini, Castro, My Dad's French chick, Bret Hart, Owen Hart, Mike Meyers, Austin Powers, Wayne Cambell, Andy Kaufman, Tony Clifton, Ladka, Jerry "the King" Lawler, The cast of MTV'S "The State", Beth Littleford, Jon Stewart, Mo Rocca, Vance Degeneres, Steve Cobert, Jimmy Kimel, Ben Stein, Adam Corolla, Bill Clinton, His cock, Monica Lewinsky, Linda Tripp, Stephanie Flowers, Paula Jones, Tonya Harding, Nancy Kerrigan, Jeff Goloulee, Lou E. Dnagerously, Tom Petty, Mandy Moore, Britanny Spears, Christina Agulera, Backstreet Boys, N'SYNC, 98 Degrees, 3 count, Fozzy Osbourne, Ozzy Osbourne, Ozzie Osborune, Rob Zombie, Phil Anselmo, Dimebag Darrel, Vinnie Paul, Rex, Waylon Jennings, Wille Nelson, Johnny Cash, Kris Kristopherson, Yoko Ono, Fred Durst, The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, CREAM, Aerosmith, KISS, 80's KISS, Reunited KISS, Wendy bray,Flotsam and Jetsom, Metallica, Metallica w/out Cliff, AC/DC, Motley Crue, Poison, Unskinny Rose, C.C. Deville, Ford Motor COmpany, Steve Mother-fucking Polychronopolous, Adam Sandler, the Chrysler Corp, Every 1969 Dodge Chager every built (particulalry ones painted orange), Oldmobiles, Geos, Breyers Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream, Nicole Johnson, Nicole Perry, Nicole Thompson, Nicole Artrip, Nicole Sullivan, Nicole Baurer,
Nicole-(ous) Cage, Danny Bonaducci, Leif Garret, Donny Osmond, Marie Osmond, Tommy Hilfigger, Wendy Bray,FUBU, Levi, Lee, Wendy's resturaunt chain, niggers everywhere, all the fags, Jews, spics, chinks, japs, honkies, wetbacks, Nazi's, The Axis Powers, No Doubt, Sean Gurtis, Bush, Silverchair, Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Pearl Necklace, Pearl Drums, Pearl S. Buck, Pearly Bowman, Eric Estrada, Every car every blown up on TV or in a cool movie, Arnold Shwartzenager, That skinny bitch off Dateline he's married to, Jane Pauley, Stone Phillips, Tom Brokaw, Dan Rather, Peter Jennings, My insanlely large cock, Bryant Gumball, Katie Kouric, Willard Scott, Al Roker, Matt Lauer, Ronald McDonald, Grimmace, the Hamburgler, Birdie, Mayor McCheese, Bogey, Pammy, Rick, Scott Steiner, Drizzt Do'Urden, Elminister, the Polterguist, the Exorcist, Linda Blair, the Blair Witch, Heather Donahue, Phil Donahue, Rosie O'donnel, Oprah, Harpo Productions, Wendy Bray,Happy Madison Productions, David Spade, Dana Carvey, The 1984 Indianpolis Colts, Garth Algar, The Church Lady, Ross Perot, Micheal Ducockass,
Saddam Hussaine, Macanudo Cigars, Allsop Mousepads, Value Jet, Pan-Am flight 109 over Lockerby Scotland, George Clinton and Parlamental Funk, All the transvestites of the world, all of the transvestites removed penises, Lesbians, Jim Carrey, Ace Ventura, The Cable Guy, Fake Andy Kaufman, Rubberface, Lloyd Christmas, Fender Guitars, Gibson Guitars, Wendy Bray, Les Paul, Leo Fender, Marshall Amplifiers, Michael Jackson, Iron Maiden, Black Sabbath, Matt Glover, All the members of The Razor Blade Cult, Lloyd Bridges, Beau Bridges, Bea Arthur, Estelle Getty, Tim Allen, Abe Lincoln, The hot version of Sigourney Weaver, Al Snow, Al Gets, Al Yankovic, Allen Thick, Dick Clark, Andy Rooney, Andy Rickter, Conan O'Brien, Roger Anderson, Frank Parker, Tori Amos, Jewel, Alex Trebek, Tori Wilson, Pat Sajak, Banjo Kazzooie, Twisted Metal 4, Doink the Clown, Pamela Anderson Lee, Tommy Lee, Alyssa Milano, Wendy Bray,Beth Hash, Ice Cube, Ice Tea, Vanilla Ice, M.C. Hammer, Villanos 1 through 42, Lenny Lane, Lodi, Tommy Orion, Billy Sadler, Benjamin Nyetanyahoo, Lolita Davidovich, Carnie Wilson, Indiana Jones, Han Solo, Luke Skywalker, James T. Kirk, Pubic hair spong, Barney the dinosaur, Big Bird, Snuffallunfagus, Will Smith, Tupac, Puff daddy, Pistacios Nuts, Mr. Peanut, Mr. T, Mr. Belding, Tweek and Craig, Zakk Wylde, Zack Morris, A.C. Slater, Kelly Capowski, Lisa Turtle, Screech, Jesse Spano, Carlos Santana, Wendy Bray, James Hettfield, Lars Ulrich, Kirk Hammet, Jason Newsted, Ralph Lauren, Ralph, Ronald Reagan, Jimmy Carter, George Bush, George Thorogood, David Arquette, Mariah Carey's Tits and Ass, The girl from Disc Jockey with perfect Tits and Ass, The all around hot girl from Sunglass Hut, The woman in Leopard Skin selling copper, The dudes that sell hoods, Tommmy Dreamer, all the guys at Nascar HQ, Tree Hugging Hippie Store, Dip N Dots, KISS dude at Spencers, Carie Worley, David at Kay Bee, Mindboggle, Silent Scope, Tyler Winkler, Henry Winkler, The Fonz, Jonie and Chachie, Richie Cunningham, Scott Bayo, Mel Saunders, Dustin Hoffman, Jack Nickelson, Hal Sparks, Mel Gibson, Bruce Willis, Chuck Norris, Tom Arnold, Walker,Texas Ranger, Randy Rhoads, Suzzanne Somers, Tom Selleck, Magnum P.I., Bert Reynolds, The cast of Riptide, Captain Winkie, Ben Folds Five, Steve Bushemi, Quentin Tarantino, Harvey Kytel, Penis pistol from duck til dawn, Mark Callaway, Salma Hayek, Jennifer Lopez, Daisey Fuetes, CATHERINE-ZETA-JONES, JENNY McCARTHY, Dennis Rodman, CARMAN ELECTRA, Denise Richards, Terri Runnels, Tori, Debra, Ivory, Chyna, Rena Mero, The chick with Black hair that was perfect, chick from Ames, Wendy Bray, Grace Slick, Jefferson Airplane, Clarence "the Fire Breathing Negro", Trojan Man, Julius Ceasar, CALIGULA, Stanley Kubrick, Oliver Stone, JFK, Jackie O, Steven Spielberg, Rob Sneider, George Lucas, Jeremy McGrath, Tony Hawk, Nick, Ryan, Roby and Tyler, Jergens Lotion, Hugo Boss, Squave, 12 dollar shampoo, Dave's Brush, David loves Miss Congeniality, David Horowitz...The Jew! He likes to watch us masterbate and he goes: "Splat splooo slooop" all over us, Rico Squave, Mitch Headberg, Lewis Black, THE ROCK, The girl who wouldn't have gone to college if it weren't for her horse, Steve Austin, Hacksaw Jim Duggan, Shane Douglas, Steve Corino, Hewlett Packard, Bill Gates, Jack Victory, ROADKILL, Danny Doring, Electra, DAWN MARIE, Justin Credible, Lance Storm: From Calgary...Alberta, Canada, Vito Lagrassi, Mulletts all over the globe, Little Guido, BIG SAL E. GRAZIANO, Tracy Smothers, Make-out fest 1986, Jerry Lynn, Spike Dudley, Mike Awesome, Masato Tanaka, Masahiro Chono, Yoshihiro Tajiri, The Great Muta, g Fresh, INDIANS from CANNIBAL THE MUSICAL, ALFRED PACKER, Juan Swartz, SCHWAN, Humphries, Trey Parker, Matt Stone, Meatloaf, Barbara Streisand, Dale Earnhardt,George Carlin, Jose Canseco, Cream Boxed Sets, THAT LOVELY, LOVELY POETRY BOOK, and of course, PROVIDENCE!
Merry Christmas to:





Richard Donald Underwood III
UNCLE David Setliff! ( The accountant )
Jessyca Hope Blankenship
Melissa, Eve, Foster, Brandi, Travis Ray Cole, Wes, The bartender's Ass, Christina, Terry, Culver,Mick Foley, Scruggs, Meachum, Shott, Stonestreet, WENDY BRAY, Burgess, Christen Carper, Jodi Taylor, Elisha Cuppett, Stephanie Fowler, Amanda Cochran, Charles Bently, John Henson, Chris and Beth Henry, Mr. Godfrey, Mr. Bourne, Mr. Hankey, Kenny, Kyle, Cartman, Stan, Beavis, Butt-head, Bo Duke, Luke Duke, Daisy, Uncle Jessie, Rosco P. Colet,rain, Boss Hogg, The 1988 Oakland A's, Droz, Jesus, Satan, Enus, Christopher Walken, Keith Richards, Eric Clapton, Ginger Baker, Jack Bruce, Jeff Beck, Jimmy Page, Joe F. Perry, DMX, ODB, Ja-Rule, Paul Stanley, Gene Simmons, Peter Criss, ACE FREHLEY, Bruce Kulick, Vinnie Vincent, Eric Carr, Eric Singer, Jessica Comer, Barry Dillon, Bigger Thomas, Jared Barker, Shawn Michaels, Jericho, SABU, RVD, Brandy Bagar, Paige Mustard, BROOKE BOURNE, Matthew Wooten, Lala Wooten, James Richard Wooten, Tammy Underwood, Richard Underwood Jr., T-Bone, Cooter, Effie Epperson, Bob Epperson, the one armed guy who hangs around downtown, Thomas J. Whitmore, Bruce Raven, Wedny Bray,Drake Calloway, Stephanie Ballargin (?), Pete, the guys at Anheiser-Busch, Jack Daniels, Jim Bean, Joel "whether at home or here in Dayton the women are watchin me and maturbatin" Gertner, Cyrus, Joey Styles, Anthony Perdue, Spyder Crowley, Johnny Blast, Ward and June, Brian Logan, Joey Morton, Jared Rottenberry, J.D. Rottenberry, Grandmasta Sexxy, Scotty Too Hotty, Danny Cameron, Heather Lyons, Jamie Hypes, Leah Hypes, Michael Williams, Brandon Williams, Last year's French chick, This years french chick, Kelly Howell, Jessica Stamper, Hannah Stamper, Ryan Stamper, Jeff Burnopp, Caressa Barton, her older sister who was cool, Sarah Kinder, Sarah Stevenson, Stephanie Walk, Steve Matthews, Thomas White, Arron Combs, Ben and Jerry, Daniel Mounts, the guy who "raped" Elisha Cuppett, Shannon Stewart, Mike Haddox, the Puppies, Ulysses, GENERAL LEE, KIT, David Hasslehoff, Jan Micheal Vincent, The guy in teh cartoon who turned into his car, the smurfs, the FRAGGLEs, Wendy Bray, Mario and Luigi, Sonic the Hedgehog, Walt Disney's cremated body, Pricess Di (in hell), JFK Jr., Hitler, Musolini, Castro, My Dad's French chick, Bret Hart, Owen Hart, Mike Meyers, Austin Powers, Wayne Cambell, Andy Kaufman, Tony Clifton, Ladka, Jerry "the King" Lawler, The cast of MTV'S "The State", Beth Littleford, Jon Stewart, Mo Rocca, Vance Degeneres, Steve Cobert, Jimmy Kimel, Ben Stein, Adam Corolla, Bill Clinton, His cock, Monica Lewinsky, Linda Tripp, Stephanie Flowers, Paula Jones, Tonya Harding, Nancy Kerrigan, Jeff Goloulee, Lou E. Dnagerously, Tom Petty, Mandy Moore, Britanny Spears, Christina Agulera, Backstreet Boys, N'SYNC, 98 Degrees, 3 count, Fozzy Osbourne, Ozzy Osbourne, Ozzie Osborune, Rob Zombie, Phil Anselmo, Dimebag Darrel, Vinnie Paul, Rex, Waylon Jennings, Wille Nelson, Johnny Cash, Kris Kristopherson, Yoko Ono, Fred Durst, The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, CREAM, Aerosmith, KISS, 80's KISS, Reunited KISS, Wendy bray,Flotsam and Jetsom, Metallica, Metallica w/out Cliff, AC/DC, Motley Crue, Poison, Unskinny Rose, C.C. Deville, Ford Motor COmpany, Steve Mother-fucking Polychronopolous, Adam Sandler, the Chrysler Corp, Every 1969 Dodge Chager every built (particulalry ones painted orange), Oldmobiles, Geos, Breyers Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream, Nicole Johnson, Nicole Perry, Nicole Thompson, Nicole Artrip, Nicole Sullivan, Nicole Baurer,
Nicole-(ous) Cage, Danny Bonaducci, Leif Garret, Donny Osmond, Marie Osmond, Tommy Hilfigger, Wendy Bray,FUBU, Levi, Lee, Wendy's resturaunt chain, niggers everywhere, all the fags, Jews, spics, chinks, japs, honkies, wetbacks, Nazi's, The Axis Powers, No Doubt, Sean Gurtis, Bush, Silverchair, Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Pearl Necklace, Pearl Drums, Pearl S. Buck, Pearly Bowman, Eric Estrada, Every car every blown up on TV or in a cool movie, Arnold Shwartzenager, That skinny bitch off Dateline he's married to, Jane Pauley, Stone Phillips, Tom Brokaw, Dan Rather, Peter Jennings, My insanlely large cock, Bryant Gumball, Katie Kouric, Willard Scott, Al Roker, Matt Lauer, Ronald McDonald, Grimmace, the Hamburgler, Birdie, Mayor McCheese, Bogey, Pammy, Rick, Scott Steiner, Drizzt Do'Urden, Elminister, the Polterguist, the Exorcist, Linda Blair, the Blair Witch, Heather Donahue, Phil Donahue, Rosie O'donnel, Oprah, Harpo Productions, Wendy Bray,Happy Madison Productions, David Spade, Dana Carvey, The 1984 Indianpolis Colts, Garth Algar, The Church Lady, Ross Perot, Micheal Ducockass,
Saddam Hussaine, Macanudo Cigars, Allsop Mousepads, Value Jet, Pan-Am flight 109 over Lockerby Scotland, George Clinton and Parlamental Funk, All the transvestites of the world, all of the transvestites removed penises, Lesbians, Jim Carrey, Ace Ventura, The Cable Guy, Fake Andy Kaufman, Rubberface, Lloyd Christmas, Fender Guitars, Gibson Guitars, Wendy Bray, Les Paul, Leo Fender, Marshall Amplifiers, Michael Jackson, Iron Maiden, Black Sabbath, Matt Glover, All the members of The Razor Blade Cult, Lloyd Bridges, Beau Bridges, Bea Arthur, Estelle Getty, Tim Allen, Abe Lincoln, The hot version of Sigourney Weaver, Al Snow, Al Gets, Al Yankovic, Allen Thick, Dick Clark, Andy Rooney, Andy Rickter, Conan O'Brien, Roger Anderson, Frank Parker, Tori Amos, Jewel, Alex Trebek, Tori Wilson, Pat Sajak, Banjo Kazzooie, Twisted Metal 4, Doink the Clown, Pamela Anderson Lee, Tommy Lee, Alyssa Milano, Wendy Bray,Beth Hash, Ice Cube, Ice Tea, Vanilla Ice, M.C. Hammer, Villanos 1 through 42, Lenny Lane, Lodi, Tommy Orion, Billy Sadler, Benjamin Nyetanyahoo, Lolita Davidovich, Carnie Wilson, Indiana Jones, Han Solo, Luke Skywalker, James T. Kirk, Pubic hair spong, Barney the dinosaur, Big Bird, Snuffallunfagus, Will Smith, Tupac, Puff daddy, Pistacios Nuts, Mr. Peanut, Mr. T, Mr. Belding, Tweek and Craig, Zakk Wylde, Zack Morris, A.C. Slater, Kelly Capowski, Lisa Turtle, Screech, Jesse Spano, Carlos Santana, Wendy Bray, James Hettfield, Lars Ulrich, Kirk Hammet, Jason Newsted, Ralph Lauren, Ralph, Ronald Reagan, Jimmy Carter, George Bush, George Thorogood, David Arquette, Mariah Carey's Tits and Ass, The girl from Disc Jockey with perfect Tits and Ass, The all around hot girl from Sunglass Hut, The woman in Leopard Skin selling copper, The dudes that sell hoods, Tommmy Dreamer, all the guys at Nascar HQ, Tree Hugging Hippie Store, Dip N Dots, KISS dude at Spencers, Carie Worley, David at Kay Bee, Mindboggle, Silent Scope, Tyler Winkler, Henry Winkler, The Fonz, Jonie and Chachie, Richie Cunningham, Scott Bayo, Mel Saunders, Dustin Hoffman, Jack Nickelson, Hal Sparks, Mel Gibson, Bruce Willis, Chuck Norris, Tom Arnold, Walker,Texas Ranger, Randy Rhoads, Suzzanne Somers, Tom Selleck, Magnum P.I., Bert Reynolds, The cast of Riptide, Captain Winkie, Ben Folds Five, Steve Bushemi, Quentin Tarantino, Harvey Kytel, Penis pistol from duck til dawn, Mark Callaway, Salma Hayek, Jennifer Lopez, Daisey Fuetes, CATHERINE-ZETA-JONES, JENNY McCARTHY, Dennis Rodman, CARMAN ELECTRA, Denise Richards, Terri Runnels, Tori, Debra, Ivory, Chyna, Rena Mero, The chick with Black hair that was perfect, chick from Ames, Wendy Bray, Grace Slick, Jefferson Airplane, Clarence "the Fire Breathing Negro", Trojan Man, Julius Ceasar, CALIGULA, Stanley Kubrick, Oliver Stone, JFK, Jackie O, Steven Spielberg, Rob Sneider, George Lucas, Jeremy McGrath, Tony Hawk, Nick, Ryan, Roby and Tyler, Jergens Lotion, Hugo Boss, Squave, 12 dollar shampoo, Dave's Brush, David loves Miss Congeniality, David Horowitz...The Jew! He likes to watch us masterbate and he goes: "Splat splooo slooop" all over us, Rico Squave, Mitch Headberg, Lewis Black, THE ROCK, The girl who wouldn't have gone to college if it weren't for her horse, Steve Austin, Hacksaw Jim Duggan, Shane Douglas, Steve Corino, Hewlett Packard, Bill Gates, Jack Victory, ROADKILL, Danny Doring, Electra, DAWN MARIE, Justin Credible, Lance Storm: From Calgary...Alberta, Canada, Vito Lagrassi, Mulletts all over the globe, Little Guido, BIG SAL E. GRAZIANO, Tracy Smothers, Make-out fest 1986, Jerry Lynn, Spike Dudley, Mike Awesome, Masato Tanaka, Masahiro Chono, Yoshihiro Tajiri, The Great Muta, g Fresh, INDIANS from CANNIBAL THE MUSICAL, ALFRED PACKER, Juan Swartz, SCHWAN, Humphries, Trey Parker, Matt Stone, Meatloaf, Barbara Streisand, Dale Earnhardt,George Carlin, Jose Canseco, Cream Boxed Sets, THAT LOVELY, LOVELY POETRY BOOK, and of course, PROVIDENCE!
Merry Christmas to:





Richard Donald Underwood III
UNCLE David Setliff! ( The accountant )
Jessyca Hope Blankenship
Melissa, Eve, Foster, Brandi, Travis Ray Cole, Wes, The bartender's Ass, Christina, Terry, Culver,Mick Foley, Scruggs, Meachum, Shott, Stonestreet, WENDY BRAY, Burgess, Christen Carper, Jodi Taylor, Elisha Cuppett, Stephanie Fowler, Amanda Cochran, Charles Bently, John Henson, Chris and Beth Henry, Mr. Godfrey, Mr. Bourne, Mr. Hankey, Kenny, Kyle, Cartman, Stan, Beavis, Butt-head, Bo Duke, Luke Duke, Daisy, Uncle Jessie, Rosco P. Colet,rain, Boss Hogg, The 1988 Oakland A's, Droz, Jesus, Satan, Enus, Christopher Walken, Keith Richards, Eric Clapton, Ginger Baker, Jack Bruce, Jeff Beck, Jimmy Page, Joe F. Perry, DMX, ODB, Ja-Rule, Paul Stanley, Gene Simmons, Peter Criss, ACE FREHLEY, Bruce Kulick, Vinnie Vincent, Eric Carr, Eric Singer, Jessica Comer, Barry Dillon, Bigger Thomas, Jared Barker, Shawn Michaels, Jericho, SABU, RVD, Brandy Bagar, Paige Mustard, BROOKE BOURNE, Matthew Wooten, Lala Wooten, James Richard Wooten, Tammy Underwood, Richard Underwood Jr., T-Bone, Cooter, Effie Epperson, Bob Epperson, the one armed guy who hangs around downtown, Thomas J. Whitmore, Bruce Raven, Wedny Bray,Drake Calloway, Stephanie Ballargin (?), Pete, the guys at Anheiser-Busch, Jack Daniels, Jim Bean, Joel "whether at home or here in Dayton the women are watchin me and maturbatin" Gertner, Cyrus, Joey Styles, Anthony Perdue, Spyder Crowley, Johnny Blast, Ward and June, Brian Logan, Joey Morton, Jared Rottenberry, J.D. Rottenberry, Grandmasta Sexxy, Scotty Too Hotty, Danny Cameron, Heather Lyons, Jamie Hypes, Leah Hypes, Michael Williams, Brandon Williams, Last year's French chick, This years french chick, Kelly Howell, Jessica Stamper, Hannah Stamper, Ryan Stamper, Jeff Burnopp, Caressa Barton, her older sister who was cool, Sarah Kinder, Sarah Stevenson, Stephanie Walk, Steve Matthews, Thomas White, Arron Combs, Ben and Jerry, Daniel Mounts, the guy who "raped" Elisha Cuppett, Shannon Stewart, Mike Haddox, the Puppies, Ulysses, GENERAL LEE, KIT, David Hasslehoff, Jan Micheal Vincent, The guy in teh cartoon who turned into his car, the smurfs, the FRAGGLEs, Wendy Bray, Mario and Luigi, Sonic the Hedgehog, Walt Disney's cremated body, Pricess Di (in hell), JFK Jr., Hitler, Musolini, Castro, My Dad's French chick, Bret Hart, Owen Hart, Mike Meyers, Austin Powers, Wayne Cambell, Andy Kaufman, Tony Clifton, Ladka, Jerry "the King" Lawler, The cast of MTV'S "The State", Beth Littleford, Jon Stewart, Mo Rocca, Vance Degeneres, Steve Cobert, Jimmy Kimel, Ben Stein, Adam Corolla, Bill Clinton, His cock, Monica Lewinsky, Linda Tripp, Stephanie Flowers, Paula Jones, Tonya Harding, Nancy Kerrigan, Jeff Goloulee, Lou E. Dnagerously, Tom Petty, Mandy Moore, Britanny Spears, Christina Agulera, Backstreet Boys, N'SYNC, 98 Degrees, 3 count, Fozzy Osbourne, Ozzy Osbourne, Ozzie Osborune, Rob Zombie, Phil Anselmo, Dimebag Darrel, Vinnie Paul, Rex, Waylon Jennings, Wille Nelson, Johnny Cash, Kris Kristopherson, Yoko Ono, Fred Durst, The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, CREAM, Aerosmith, KISS, 80's KISS, Reunited KISS, Wendy bray,Flotsam and Jetsom, Metallica, Metallica w/out Cliff, AC/DC, Motley Crue, Poison, Unskinny Rose, C.C. Deville, Ford Motor COmpany, Steve Mother-fucking Polychronopolous, Adam Sandler, the Chrysler Corp, Every 1969 Dodge Chager every built (particulalry ones painted orange), Oldmobiles, Geos, Breyers Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream, Nicole Johnson, Nicole Perry, Nicole Thompson, Nicole Artrip, Nicole Sullivan, Nicole Baurer,
Nicole-(ous) Cage, Danny Bonaducci, Leif Garret, Donny Osmond, Marie Osmond, Tommy Hilfigger, Wendy Bray,FUBU, Levi, Lee, Wendy's resturaunt chain, niggers everywhere, all the fags, Jews, spics, chinks, japs, honkies, wetbacks, Nazi's, The Axis Powers, No Doubt, Sean Gurtis, Bush, Silverchair, Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Pearl Necklace, Pearl Drums, Pearl S. Buck, Pearly Bowman, Eric Estrada, Every car every blown up on TV or in a cool movie, Arnold Shwartzenager, That skinny bitch off Dateline he's married to, Jane Pauley, Stone Phillips, Tom Brokaw, Dan Rather, Peter Jennings, My insanlely large cock, Bryant Gumball, Katie Kouric, Willard Scott, Al Roker, Matt Lauer, Ronald McDonald, Grimmace, the Hamburgler, Birdie, Mayor McCheese, Bogey, Pammy, Rick, Scott Steiner, Drizzt Do'Urden, Elminister, the Polterguist, the Exorcist, Linda Blair, the Blair Witch, Heather Donahue, Phil Donahue, Rosie O'donnel, Oprah, Harpo Productions, Wendy Bray,Happy Madison Productions, David Spade, Dana Carvey, The 1984 Indianpolis Colts, Garth Algar, The Church Lady, Ross Perot, Micheal Ducockass,
Saddam Hussaine, Macanudo Cigars, Allsop Mousepads, Value Jet, Pan-Am flight 109 over Lockerby Scotland, George Clinton and Parlamental Funk, All the transvestites of the world, all of the transvestites removed penises, Lesbians, Jim Carrey, Ace Ventura, The Cable Guy, Fake Andy Kaufman, Rubberface, Lloyd Christmas, Fender Guitars, Gibson Guitars, Wendy Bray, Les Paul, Leo Fender, Marshall Amplifiers, Michael Jackson, Iron Maiden, Black Sabbath, Matt Glover, All the members of The Razor Blade Cult, Lloyd Bridges, Beau Bridges, Bea Arthur, Estelle Getty, Tim Allen, Abe Lincoln, The hot version of Sigourney Weaver, Al Snow, Al Gets, Al Yankovic, Allen Thick, Dick Clark, Andy Rooney, Andy Rickter, Conan O'Brien, Roger Anderson, Frank Parker, Tori Amos, Jewel, Alex Trebek, Tori Wilson, Pat Sajak, Banjo Kazzooie, Twisted Metal 4, Doink the Clown, Pamela Anderson Lee, Tommy Lee, Alyssa Milano, Wendy Bray,Beth Hash, Ice Cube, Ice Tea, Vanilla Ice, M.C. Hammer, Villanos 1 through 42, Lenny Lane, Lodi, Tommy Orion, Billy Sadler, Benjamin Nyetanyahoo, Lolita Davidovich, Carnie Wilson, Indiana Jones, Han Solo, Luke Skywalker, James T. Kirk, Pubic hair spong, Barney the dinosaur, Big Bird, Snuffallunfagus, Will Smith, Tupac, Puff daddy, Pistacios Nuts, Mr. Peanut, Mr. T, Mr. Belding, Tweek and Craig, Zakk Wylde, Zack Morris, A.C. Slater, Kelly Capowski, Lisa Turtle, Screech, Jesse Spano, Carlos Santana, Wendy Bray, James Hettfield, Lars Ulrich, Kirk Hammet, Jason Newsted, Ralph Lauren, Ralph, Ronald Reagan, Jimmy Carter, George Bush, George Thorogood, David Arquette, Mariah Carey's Tits and Ass, The girl from Disc Jockey with perfect Tits and Ass, The all around hot girl from Sunglass Hut, The woman in Leopard Skin selling copper, The dudes that sell hoods, Tommmy Dreamer, all the guys at Nascar HQ, Tree Hugging Hippie Store, Dip N Dots, KISS dude at Spencers, Carie Worley, David at Kay Bee, Mindboggle, Silent Scope, Tyler Winkler, Henry Winkler, The Fonz, Jonie and Chachie, Richie Cunningham, Scott Bayo, Mel Saunders, Dustin Hoffman, Jack Nickelson, Hal Sparks, Mel Gibson, Bruce Willis, Chuck Norris, Tom Arnold, Walker,Texas Ranger, Randy Rhoads, Suzzanne Somers, Tom Selleck, Magnum P.I., Bert Reynolds, The cast of Riptide, Captain Winkie, Ben Folds Five, Steve Bushemi, Quentin Tarantino, Harvey Kytel, Penis pistol from duck til dawn, Mark Callaway, Salma Hayek, Jennifer Lopez, Daisey Fuetes, CATHERINE-ZETA-JONES, JENNY McCARTHY, Dennis Rodman, CARMAN ELECTRA, Denise Richards, Terri Runnels, Tori, Debra, Ivory, Chyna, Rena Mero, The chick with Black hair that was perfect, chick from Ames, Wendy Bray, Grace Slick, Jefferson Airplane, Clarence "the Fire Breathing Negro", Trojan Man, Julius Ceasar, CALIGULA, Stanley Kubrick, Oliver Stone, JFK, Jackie O, Steven Spielberg, Rob Sneider, George Lucas, Jeremy McGrath, Tony Hawk, Nick, Ryan, Roby and Tyler, Jergens Lotion, Hugo Boss, Squave, 12 dollar shampoo, Dave's Brush, David loves Miss Congeniality, David Horowitz...The Jew! He likes to watch us masterbate and he goes: "Splat splooo slooop" all over us, Rico Squave, Mitch Headberg, Lewis Black, THE ROCK, The girl who wouldn't have gone to college if it weren't for her horse, Steve Austin, Hacksaw Jim Duggan, Shane Douglas, Steve Corino, Hewlett Packard, Bill Gates, Jack Victory, ROADKILL, Danny Doring, Electra, DAWN MARIE, Justin Credible, Lance Storm: From Calgary...Alberta, Canada, Vito Lagrassi, Mulletts all over the globe, Little Guido, BIG SAL E. GRAZIANO, Tracy Smothers, Make-out fest 1986, Jerry Lynn, Spike Dudley, Mike Awesome, Masato Tanaka, Masahiro Chono, Yoshihiro Tajiri, The Great Muta, g Fresh, INDIANS from CANNIBAL THE MUSICAL, ALFRED PACKER, Juan Swartz, SCHWAN, Humphries, Trey Parker, Matt Stone, Meatloaf, Barbara Streisand, Dale Earnhardt,George Carlin, Jose Canseco, Cream Boxed Sets, THAT LOVELY, LOVELY POETRY BOOK, and of course, PROVIDENCE!
Merry Christmas to:





Richard Donald Underwood III
UNCLE David Setliff! ( The accountant )
Jessyca Hope Blankenship
Melissa, Eve, Foster, Brandi, Travis Ray Cole, Wes, The bartender's Ass, Christina, Terry, Culver,Mick Foley, Scruggs, Meachum, Shott, Stonestreet, WENDY BRAY, Burgess, Christen Carper, Jodi Taylor, Elisha Cuppett, Stephanie Fowler, Amanda Cochran, Charles Bently, John Henson, Chris and Beth Henry, Mr. Godfrey, Mr. Bourne, Mr. Hankey, Kenny, Kyle, Cartman, Stan, Beavis, Butt-head, Bo Duke, Luke Duke, Daisy, Uncle Jessie, Rosco P. Colet,rain, Boss Hogg, The 1988 Oakland A's, Droz, Jesus, Satan, Enus, Christopher Walken, Keith Richards, Eric Clapton, Ginger Baker, Jack Bruce, Jeff Beck, Jimmy Page, Joe F. Perry, DMX, ODB, Ja-Rule, Paul Stanley, Gene Simmons, Peter Criss, ACE FREHLEY, Bruce Kulick, Vinnie Vincent, Eric Carr, Eric Singer, Jessica Comer, Barry Dillon, Bigger Thomas, Jared Barker, Shawn Michaels, Jericho, SABU, RVD, Brandy Bagar, Paige Mustard, BROOKE BOURNE, Matthew Wooten, Lala Wooten, James Richard Wooten, Tammy Underwood, Richard Underwood Jr., T-Bone, Cooter, Effie Epperson, Bob Epperson, the one armed guy who hangs around downtown, Thomas J. Whitmore, Bruce Raven, Wedny Bray,Drake Calloway, Stephanie Ballargin (?), Pete, the guys at Anheiser-Busch, Jack Daniels, Jim Bean, Joel "whether at home or here in Dayton the women are watchin me and maturbatin" Gertner, Cyrus, Joey Styles, Anthony Perdue, Spyder Crowley, Johnny Blast, Ward and June, Brian Logan, Joey Morton, Jared Rottenberry, J.D. Rottenberry, Grandmasta Sexxy, Scotty Too Hotty, Danny Cameron, Heather Lyons, Jamie Hypes, Leah Hypes, Michael Williams, Brandon Williams, Last year's French chick, This years french chick, Kelly Howell, Jessica Stamper, Hannah Stamper, Ryan Stamper, Jeff Burnopp, Caressa Barton, her older sister who was cool, Sarah Kinder, Sarah Stevenson, Stephanie Walk, Steve Matthews, Thomas White, Arron Combs, Ben and Jerry, Daniel Mounts, the guy who "raped" Elisha Cuppett, Shannon Stewart, Mike Haddox, the Puppies, Ulysses, GENERAL LEE, KIT, David Hasslehoff, Jan Micheal Vincent, The guy in teh cartoon who turned into his car, the smurfs, the FRAGGLEs, Wendy Bray, Mario and Luigi, Sonic the Hedgehog, Walt Disney's cremated body, Pricess Di (in hell), JFK Jr., Hitler, Musolini, Castro, My Dad's French chick, Bret Hart, Owen Hart, Mike Meyers, Austin Powers, Wayne Cambell, Andy Kaufman, Tony Clifton, Ladka, Jerry "the King" Lawler, The cast of MTV'S "The State", Beth Littleford, Jon Stewart, Mo Rocca, Vance Degeneres, Steve Cobert, Jimmy Kimel, Ben Stein, Adam Corolla, Bill Clinton, His cock, Monica Lewinsky, Linda Tripp, Stephanie Flowers, Paula Jones, Tonya Harding, Nancy Kerrigan, Jeff Goloulee, Lou E. Dnagerously, Tom Petty, Mandy Moore, Britanny Spears, Christina Agulera, Backstreet Boys, N'SYNC, 98 Degrees, 3 count, Fozzy Osbourne, Ozzy Osbourne, Ozzie Osborune, Rob Zombie, Phil Anselmo, Dimebag Darrel, Vinnie Paul, Rex, Waylon Jennings, Wille Nelson, Johnny Cash, Kris Kristopherson, Yoko Ono, Fred Durst, The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, CREAM, Aerosmith, KISS, 80's KISS, Reunited KISS, Wendy bray,Flotsam and Jetsom, Metallica, Metallica w/out Cliff, AC/DC, Motley Crue, Poison, Unskinny Rose, C.C. Deville, Ford Motor COmpany, Steve Mother-fucking Polychronopolous, Adam Sandler, the Chrysler Corp, Every 1969 Dodge Chager every built (particulalry ones painted orange), Oldmobiles, Geos, Breyers Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream, Nicole Johnson, Nicole Perry, Nicole Thompson, Nicole Artrip, Nicole Sullivan, Nicole Baurer,
Nicole-(ous) Cage, Danny Bonaducci, Leif Garret, Donny Osmond, Marie Osmond, Tommy Hilfigger, Wendy Bray,FUBU, Levi, Lee, Wendy's resturaunt chain, niggers everywhere, all the fags, Jews, spics, chinks, japs, honkies, wetbacks, Nazi's, The Axis Powers, No Doubt, Sean Gurtis, Bush, Silverchair, Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Pearl Necklace, Pearl Drums, Pearl S. Buck, Pearly Bowman, Eric Estrada, Every car every blown up on TV or in a cool movie, Arnold Shwartzenager, That skinny bitch off Dateline he's married to, Jane Pauley, Stone Phillips, Tom Brokaw, Dan Rather, Peter Jennings, My insanlely large cock, Bryant Gumball, Katie Kouric, Willard Scott, Al Roker, Matt Lauer, Ronald McDonald, Grimmace, the Hamburgler, Birdie, Mayor McCheese, Bogey, Pammy, Rick, Scott Steiner, Drizzt Do'Urden, Elminister, the Polterguist, the Exorcist, Linda Blair, the Blair Witch, Heather Donahue, Phil Donahue, Rosie O'donnel, Oprah, Harpo Productions, Wendy Bray,Happy Madison Productions, David Spade, Dana Carvey, The 1984 Indianpolis Colts, Garth Algar, The Church Lady, Ross Perot, Micheal Ducockass,
Saddam Hussaine, Macanudo Cigars, Allsop Mousepads, Value Jet, Pan-Am flight 109 over Lockerby Scotland, George Clinton and Parlamental Funk, All the transvestites of the world, all of the transvestites removed penises, Lesbians, Jim Carrey, Ace Ventura, The Cable Guy, Fake Andy Kaufman, Rubberface, Lloyd Christmas, Fender Guitars, Gibson Guitars, Wendy Bray, Les Paul, Leo Fender, Marshall Amplifiers, Michael Jackson, Iron Maiden, Black Sabbath, Matt Glover, All the members of The Razor Blade Cult, Lloyd Bridges, Beau Bridges, Bea Arthur, Estelle Getty, Tim Allen, Abe Lincoln, The hot version of Sigourney Weaver, Al Snow, Al Gets, Al Yankovic, Allen Thick, Dick Clark, Andy Rooney, Andy Rickter, Conan O'Brien, Roger Anderson, Frank Parker, Tori Amos, Jewel, Alex Trebek, Tori Wilson, Pat Sajak, Banjo Kazzooie, Twisted Metal 4, Doink the Clown, Pamela Anderson Lee, Tommy Lee, Alyssa Milano, Wendy Bray,Beth Hash, Ice Cube, Ice Tea, Vanilla Ice, M.C. Hammer, Villanos 1 through 42, Lenny Lane, Lodi, Tommy Orion, Billy Sadler, Benjamin Nyetanyahoo, Lolita Davidovich, Carnie Wilson, Indiana Jones, Han Solo, Luke Skywalker, James T. Kirk, Pubic hair spong, Barney the dinosaur, Big Bird, Snuffallunfagus, Will Smith, Tupac, Puff daddy, Pistacios Nuts, Mr. Peanut, Mr. T, Mr. Belding, Tweek and Craig, Zakk Wylde, Zack Morris, A.C. Slater, Kelly Capowski, Lisa Turtle, Screech, Jesse Spano, Carlos Santana, Wendy Bray, James Hettfield, Lars Ulrich, Kirk Hammet, Jason Newsted, Ralph Lauren, Ralph, Ronald Reagan, Jimmy Carter, George Bush, George Thorogood, David Arquette, Mariah Carey's Tits and Ass, The girl from Disc Jockey with perfect Tits and Ass, The all around hot girl from Sunglass Hut, The woman in Leopard Skin selling copper, The dudes that sell hoods, Tommmy Dreamer, all the guys at Nascar HQ, Tree Hugging Hippie Store, Dip N Dots, KISS dude at Spencers, Carie Worley, David at Kay Bee, Mindboggle, Silent Scope, Tyler Winkler, Henry Winkler, The Fonz, Jonie and Chachie, Richie Cunningham, Scott Bayo, Mel Saunders, Dustin Hoffman, Jack Nickelson, Hal Sparks, Mel Gibson, Bruce Willis, Chuck Norris, Tom Arnold, Walker,Texas Ranger, Randy Rhoads, Suzzanne Somers, Tom Selleck, Magnum P.I., Bert Reynolds, The cast of Riptide, Captain Winkie, Ben Folds Five, Steve Bushemi, Quentin Tarantino, Harvey Kytel, Penis pistol from duck til dawn, Mark Callaway, Salma Hayek, Jennifer Lopez, Daisey Fuetes, CATHERINE-ZETA-JONES, JENNY McCARTHY, Dennis Rodman, CARMAN ELECTRA, Denise Richards, Terri Runnels, Tori, Debra, Ivory, Chyna, Rena Mero, The chick with Black hair that was perfect, chick from Ames, Wendy Bray, Grace Slick, Jefferson Airplane, Clarence "the Fire Breathing Negro", Trojan Man, Julius Ceasar, CALIGULA, Stanley Kubrick, Oliver Stone, JFK, Jackie O, Steven Spielberg, Rob Sneider, George Lucas, Jeremy McGrath, Tony Hawk, Nick, Ryan, Roby and Tyler, Jergens Lotion, Hugo Boss, Squave, 12 dollar shampoo, Dave's Brush, David loves Miss Congeniality, David Horowitz...The Jew! He likes to watch us masterbate and he goes: "Splat splooo slooop" all over us, Rico Squave, Mitch Headberg, Lewis Black, THE ROCK, The girl who wouldn't have gone to college if it weren't for her horse, Steve Austin, Hacksaw Jim Duggan, Shane Douglas, Steve Corino, Hewlett Packard, Bill Gates, Jack Victory, ROADKILL, Danny Doring, Electra, DAWN MARIE, Justin Credible, Lance Storm: From Calgary...Alberta, Canada, Vito Lagrassi, Mulletts all over the globe, Little Guido, BIG SAL E. GRAZIANO, Tracy Smothers, Make-out fest 1986, Jerry Lynn, Spike Dudley, Mike Awesome, Masato Tanaka, Masahiro Chono, Yoshihiro Tajiri, The Great Muta, g Fresh, INDIANS from CANNIBAL THE MUSICAL, ALFRED PACKER, Juan Swartz, SCHWAN, Humphries, Trey Parker, Matt Stone, Meatloaf, Barbara Streisand, Dale Earnhardt,George Carlin, Jose Canseco, Cream Boxed Sets, THAT LOVELY, LOVELY POETRY BOOK, and of course, PROVIDENCE!
Merry Christmas to:





Richard Donald Underwood III
UNCLE David Setliff! ( The accountant )
Jessyca Hope Blankenship
Melissa, Eve, Foster, Brandi, Travis Ray Cole, Wes, The bartender's Ass, Christina, Terry, Culver,Mick Foley, Scruggs, Meachum, Shott, Stonestreet, WENDY BRAY, Burgess, Christen Carper, Jodi Taylor, Elisha Cuppett, Stephanie Fowler, Amanda Cochran, Charles Bently, John Henson, Chris and Beth Henry, Mr. Godfrey, Mr. Bourne, Mr. Hankey, Kenny, Kyle, Cartman, Stan, Beavis, Butt-head, Bo Duke, Luke Duke, Daisy, Uncle Jessie, Rosco P. Colet,rain, Boss Hogg, The 1988 Oakland A's, Droz, Jesus, Satan, Enus, Christopher Walken, Keith Richards, Eric Clapton, Ginger Baker, Jack Bruce, Jeff Beck, Jimmy Page, Joe F. Perry, DMX, ODB, Ja-Rule, Paul Stanley, Gene Simmons, Peter Criss, ACE FREHLEY, Bruce Kulick, Vinnie Vincent, Eric Carr, Eric Singer, Jessica Comer, Barry Dillon, Bigger Thomas, Jared Barker, Shawn Michaels, Jericho, SABU, RVD, Brandy Bagar, Paige Mustard, BROOKE BOURNE, Matthew Wooten, Lala Wooten, James Richard Wooten, Tammy Underwood, Richard Underwood Jr., T-Bone, Cooter, Effie Epperson, Bob Epperson, the one armed guy who hangs around downtown, Thomas J. Whitmore, Bruce Raven, Wedny Bray,Drake Calloway, Stephanie Ballargin (?), Pete, the guys at Anheiser-Busch, Jack Daniels, Jim Bean, Joel "whether at home or here in Dayton the women are watchin me and maturbatin" Gertner, Cyrus, Joey Styles, Anthony Perdue, Spyder Crowley, Johnny Blast, Ward and June, Brian Logan, Joey Morton, Jared Rottenberry, J.D. Rottenberry, Grandmasta Sexxy, Scotty Too Hotty, Danny Cameron, Heather Lyons, Jamie Hypes, Leah Hypes, Michael Williams, Brandon Williams, Last year's French chick, This years french chick, Kelly Howell, Jessica Stamper, Hannah Stamper, Ryan Stamper, Jeff Burnopp, Caressa Barton, her older sister who was cool, Sarah Kinder, Sarah Stevenson, Stephanie Walk, Steve Matthews, Thomas White, Arron Combs, Ben and Jerry, Daniel Mounts, the guy who "raped" Elisha Cuppett, Shannon Stewart, Mike Haddox, the Puppies, Ulysses, GENERAL LEE, KIT, David Hasslehoff, Jan Micheal Vincent, The guy in teh cartoon who turned into his car, the smurfs, the FRAGGLEs, Wendy Bray, Mario and Luigi, Sonic the Hedgehog, Walt Disney's cremated body, Pricess Di (in hell), JFK Jr., Hitler, Musolini, Castro, My Dad's French chick, Bret Hart, Owen Hart, Mike Meyers, Austin Powers, Wayne Cambell, Andy Kaufman, Tony Clifton, Ladka, Jerry "the King" Lawler, The cast of MTV'S "The State", Beth Littleford, Jon Stewart, Mo Rocca, Vance Degeneres, Steve Cobert, Jimmy Kimel, Ben Stein, Adam Corolla, Bill Clinton, His cock, Monica Lewinsky, Linda Tripp, Stephanie Flowers, Paula Jones, Tonya Harding, Nancy Kerrigan, Jeff Goloulee, Lou E. Dnagerously, Tom Petty, Mandy Moore, Britanny Spears, Christina Agulera, Backstreet Boys, N'SYNC, 98 Degrees, 3 count, Fozzy Osbourne, Ozzy Osbourne, Ozzie Osborune, Rob Zombie, Phil Anselmo, Dimebag Darrel, Vinnie Paul, Rex, Waylon Jennings, Wille Nelson, Johnny Cash, Kris Kristopherson, Yoko Ono, Fred Durst, The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, CREAM, Aerosmith, KISS, 80's KISS, Reunited KISS, Wendy bray,Flotsam and Jetsom, Metallica, Metallica w/out Cliff, AC/DC, Motley Crue, Poison, Unskinny Rose, C.C. Deville, Ford Motor COmpany, Steve Mother-fucking Polychronopolous, Adam Sandler, the Chrysler Corp, Every 1969 Dodge Chager every built (particulalry ones painted orange), Oldmobiles, Geos, Breyers Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream, Nicole Johnson, Nicole Perry, Nicole Thompson, Nicole Artrip, Nicole Sullivan, Nicole Baurer,
Nicole-(ous) Cage, Danny Bonaducci, Leif Garret, Donny Osmond, Marie Osmond, Tommy Hilfigger, Wendy Bray,FUBU, Levi, Lee, Wendy's resturaunt chain, niggers everywhere, all the fags, Jews, spics, chinks, japs, honkies, wetbacks, Nazi's, The Axis Powers, No Doubt, Sean Gurtis, Bush, Silverchair, Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Pearl Necklace, Pearl Drums, Pearl S. Buck, Pearly Bowman, Eric Estrada, Every car every blown up on TV or in a cool movie, Arnold Shwartzenager, That skinny bitch off Dateline he's married to, Jane Pauley, Stone Phillips, Tom Brokaw, Dan Rather, Peter Jennings, My insanlely large cock, Bryant Gumball, Katie Kouric, Willard Scott, Al Roker, Matt Lauer, Ronald McDonald, Grimmace, the Hamburgler, Birdie, Mayor McCheese, Bogey, Pammy, Rick, Scott Steiner, Drizzt Do'Urden, Elminister, the Polterguist, the Exorcist, Linda Blair, the Blair Witch, Heather Donahue, Phil Donahue, Rosie O'donnel, Oprah, Harpo Productions, Wendy Bray,Happy Madison Productions, David Spade, Dana Carvey, The 1984 Indianpolis Colts, Garth Algar, The Church Lady, Ross Perot, Micheal Ducockass,
Saddam Hussaine, Macanudo Cigars, Allsop Mousepads, Value Jet, Pan-Am flight 109 over Lockerby Scotland, George Clinton and Parlamental Funk, All the transvestites of the world, all of the transvestites removed penises, Lesbians, Jim Carrey, Ace Ventura, The Cable Guy, Fake Andy Kaufman, Rubberface, Lloyd Christmas, Fender Guitars, Gibson Guitars, Wendy Bray, Les Paul, Leo Fender, Marshall Amplifiers, Michael Jackson, Iron Maiden, Black Sabbath, Matt Glover, All the members of The Razor Blade Cult, Lloyd Bridges, Beau Bridges, Bea Arthur, Estelle Getty, Tim Allen, Abe Lincoln, The hot version of Sigourney Weaver, Al Snow, Al Gets, Al Yankovic, Allen Thick, Dick Clark, Andy Rooney, Andy Rickter, Conan O'Brien, Roger Anderson, Frank Parker, Tori Amos, Jewel, Alex Trebek, Tori Wilson, Pat Sajak, Banjo Kazzooie, Twisted Metal 4, Doink the Clown, Pamela Anderson Lee, Tommy Lee, Alyssa Milano, Wendy Bray,Beth Hash, Ice Cube, Ice Tea, Vanilla Ice, M.C. Hammer, Villanos 1 through 42, Lenny Lane, Lodi, Tommy Orion, Billy Sadler, Benjamin Nyetanyahoo, Lolita Davidovich, Carnie Wilson, Indiana Jones, Han Solo, Luke Skywalker, James T. Kirk, Pubic hair spong, Barney the dinosaur, Big Bird, Snuffallunfagus, Will Smith, Tupac, Puff daddy, Pistacios Nuts, Mr. Peanut, Mr. T, Mr. Belding, Tweek and Craig, Zakk Wylde, Zack Morris, A.C. Slater, Kelly Capowski, Lisa Turtle, Screech, Jesse Spano, Carlos Santana, Wendy Bray, James Hettfield, Lars Ulrich, Kirk Hammet, Jason Newsted, Ralph Lauren, Ralph, Ronald Reagan, Jimmy Carter, George Bush, George Thorogood, David Arquette, Mariah Carey's Tits and Ass, The girl from Disc Jockey with perfect Tits and Ass, The all around hot girl from Sunglass Hut, The woman in Leopard Skin selling copper, The dudes that sell hoods, Tommmy Dreamer, all the guys at Nascar HQ, Tree Hugging Hippie Store, Dip N Dots, KISS dude at Spencers, Carie Worley, David at Kay Bee, Mindboggle, Silent Scope, Tyler Winkler, Henry Winkler, The Fonz, Jonie and Chachie, Richie Cunningham, Scott Bayo, Mel Saunders, Dustin Hoffman, Jack Nickelson, Hal Sparks, Mel Gibson, Bruce Willis, Chuck Norris, Tom Arnold, Walker,Texas Ranger, Randy Rhoads, Suzzanne Somers, Tom Selleck, Magnum P.I., Bert Reynolds, The cast of Riptide, Captain Winkie, Ben Folds Five, Steve Bushemi, Quentin Tarantino, Harvey Kytel, Penis pistol from duck til dawn, Mark Callaway, Salma Hayek, Jennifer Lopez, Daisey Fuetes, CATHERINE-ZETA-JONES, JENNY McCARTHY, Dennis Rodman, CARMAN ELECTRA, Denise Richards, Terri Runnels, Tori, Debra, Ivory, Chyna, Rena Mero, The chick with Black hair that was perfect, chick from Ames, Wendy Bray, Grace Slick, Jefferson Airplane, Clarence "the Fire Breathing Negro", Trojan Man, Julius Ceasar, CALIGULA, Stanley Kubrick, Oliver Stone, JFK, Jackie O, Steven Spielberg, Rob Sneider, George Lucas, Jeremy McGrath, Tony Hawk, Nick, Ryan, Roby and Tyler, Jergens Lotion, Hugo Boss, Squave, 12 dollar shampoo, Dave's Brush, David loves Miss Congeniality, David Horowitz...The Jew! He likes to watch us masterbate and he goes: "Splat splooo slooop" all over us, Rico Squave, Mitch Headberg, Lewis Black, THE ROCK, The girl who wouldn't have gone to college if it weren't for her horse, Steve Austin, Hacksaw Jim Duggan, Shane Douglas, Steve Corino, Hewlett Packard, Bill Gates, Jack Victory, ROADKILL, Danny Doring, Electra, DAWN MARIE, Justin Credible, Lance Storm: From Calgary...Alberta, Canada, Vito Lagrassi, Mulletts all over the globe, Little Guido, BIG SAL E. GRAZIANO, Tracy Smothers, Make-out fest 1986, Jerry Lynn, Spike Dudley, Mike Awesome, Masato Tanaka, Masahiro Chono, Yoshihiro Tajiri, The Great Muta, g Fresh, INDIANS from CANNIBAL THE MUSICAL, ALFRED PACKER, Juan Swartz, SCHWAN, Humphries, Trey Parker, Matt Stone, Meatloaf, Barbara Streisand, Dale Earnhardt,George Carlin, Jose Canseco, Cream Boxed Sets, THAT LOVELY, LOVELY POETRY BOOK, and of course, PROVIDENCE!Merry Christmas to:





Richard Donald Underwood III
UNCLE David Setliff! ( The accountant )
Jessyca Hope Blankenship
Melissa, Eve, Foster, Brandi, Travis Ray Cole, Wes, The bartender's Ass, Christina, Terry, Culver,Mick Foley, Scruggs, Meachum, Shott, Stonestreet, WENDY BRAY, Burgess, Christen Carper, Jodi Taylor, Elisha Cuppett, Stephanie Fowler, Amanda Cochran, Charles Bently, John Henson, Chris and Beth Henry, Mr. Godfrey, Mr. Bourne, Mr. Hankey, Kenny, Kyle, Cartman, Stan, Beavis, Butt-head, Bo Duke, Luke Duke, Daisy, Uncle Jessie, Rosco P. Colet,rain, Boss Hogg, The 1988 Oakland A's, Droz, Jesus, Satan, Enus, Christopher Walken, Keith Richards, Eric Clapton, Ginger Baker, Jack Bruce, Jeff Beck, Jimmy Page, Joe F. Perry, DMX, ODB, Ja-Rule, Paul Stanley, Gene Simmons, Peter Criss, ACE FREHLEY, Bruce Kulick, Vinnie Vincent, Eric Carr, Eric Singer, Jessica Comer, Barry Dillon, Bigger Thomas, Jared Barker, Shawn Michaels, Jericho, SABU, RVD, Brandy Bagar, Paige Mustard, BROOKE BOURNE, Matthew Wooten, Lala Wooten, James Richard Wooten, Tammy Underwood, Richard Underwood Jr., T-Bone, Cooter, Effie Epperson, Bob Epperson, the one armed guy who hangs around downtown, Thomas J. Whitmore, Bruce Raven, Wedny Bray,Drake Calloway, Stephanie Ballargin (?), Pete, the guys at Anheiser-Busch, Jack Daniels, Jim Bean, Joel "whether at home or here in Dayton the women are watchin me and maturbatin" Gertner, Cyrus, Joey Styles, Anthony Perdue, Spyder Crowley, Johnny Blast, Ward and June, Brian Logan, Joey Morton, Jared Rottenberry, J.D. Rottenberry, Grandmasta Sexxy, Scotty Too Hotty, Danny Cameron, Heather Lyons, Jamie Hypes, Leah Hypes, Michael Williams, Brandon Williams, Last year's French chick, This years french chick, Kelly Howell, Jessica Stamper, Hannah Stamper, Ryan Stamper, Jeff Burnopp, Caressa Barton, her older sister who was cool, Sarah Kinder, Sarah Stevenson, Stephanie Walk, Steve Matthews, Thomas White, Arron Combs, Ben and Jerry, Daniel Mounts, the guy who "raped" Elisha Cuppett, Shannon Stewart, Mike Haddox, the Puppies, Ulysses, GENERAL LEE, KIT, David Hasslehoff, Jan Micheal Vincent, The guy in teh cartoon who turned into his car, the smurfs, the FRAGGLEs, Wendy Bray, Mario and Luigi, Sonic the Hedgehog, Walt Disney's cremated body, Pricess Di (in hell), JFK Jr., Hitler, Musolini, Castro, My Dad's French chick, Bret Hart, Owen Hart, Mike Meyers, Austin Powers, Wayne Cambell, Andy Kaufman, Tony Clifton, Ladka, Jerry "the King" Lawler, The cast of MTV'S "The State", Beth Littleford, Jon Stewart, Mo Rocca, Vance Degeneres, Steve Cobert, Jimmy Kimel, Ben Stein, Adam Corolla, Bill Clinton, His cock, Monica Lewinsky, Linda Tripp, Stephanie Flowers, Paula Jones, Tonya Harding, Nancy Kerrigan, Jeff Goloulee, Lou E. Dnagerously, Tom Petty, Mandy Moore, Britanny Spears, Christina Agulera, Backstreet Boys, N'SYNC, 98 Degrees, 3 count, Fozzy Osbourne, Ozzy Osbourne, Ozzie Osborune, Rob Zombie, Phil Anselmo, Dimebag Darrel, Vinnie Paul, Rex, Waylon Jennings, Wille Nelson, Johnny Cash, Kris Kristopherson, Yoko Ono, Fred Durst, The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, CREAM, Aerosmith, KISS, 80's KISS, Reunited KISS, Wendy bray,Flotsam and Jetsom, Metallica, Metallica w/out Cliff, AC/DC, Motley Crue, Poison, Unskinny Rose, C.C. Deville, Ford Motor COmpany, Steve Mother-fucking Polychronopolous, Adam Sandler, the Chrysler Corp, Every 1969 Dodge Chager every built (particulalry ones painted orange), Oldmobiles, Geos, Breyers Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream, Nicole Johnson, Nicole Perry, Nicole Thompson, Nicole Artrip, Nicole Sullivan, Nicole Baurer,
Nicole-(ous) Cage, Danny Bonaducci, Leif Garret, Donny Osmond, Marie Osmond, Tommy Hilfigger, Wendy Bray,FUBU, Levi, Lee, Wendy's resturaunt chain, niggers everywhere, all the fags, Jews, spics, chinks, japs, honkies, wetbacks, Nazi's, The Axis Powers, No Doubt, Sean Gurtis, Bush, Silverchair, Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Pearl Necklace, Pearl Drums, Pearl S. Buck, Pearly Bowman, Eric Estrada, Every car every blown up on TV or in a cool movie, Arnold Shwartzenager, That skinny bitch off Dateline he's married to, Jane Pauley, Stone Phillips, Tom Brokaw, Dan Rather, Peter Jennings, My insanlely large cock, Bryant Gumball, Katie Kouric, Willard Scott, Al Roker, Matt Lauer, Ronald McDonald, Grimmace, the Hamburgler, Birdie, Mayor McCheese, Bogey, Pammy, Rick, Scott Steiner, Drizzt Do'Urden, Elminister, the Polterguist, the Exorcist, Linda Blair, the Blair Witch, Heather Donahue, Phil Donahue, Rosie O'donnel, Oprah, Harpo Productions, Wendy Bray,Happy Madison Productions, David Spade, Dana Carvey, The 1984 Indianpolis Colts, Garth Algar, The Church Lady, Ross Perot, Micheal Ducockass,
Saddam Hussaine, Macanudo Cigars, Allsop Mousepads, Value Jet, Pan-Am flight 109 over Lockerby Scotland, George Clinton and Parlamental Funk, All the transvestites of the world, all of the transvestites removed penises, Lesbians, Jim Carrey, Ace Ventura, The Cable Guy, Fake Andy Kaufman, Rubberface, Lloyd Christmas, Fender Guitars, Gibson Guitars, Wendy Bray, Les Paul, Leo Fender, Marshall Amplifiers, Michael Jackson, Iron Maiden, Black Sabbath, Matt Glover, All the members of The Razor Blade Cult, Lloyd Bridges, Beau Bridges, Bea Arthur, Estelle Getty, Tim Allen, Abe Lincoln, The hot version of Sigourney Weaver, Al Snow, Al Gets, Al Yankovic, Allen Thick, Dick Clark, Andy Rooney, Andy Rickter, Conan O'Brien, Roger Anderson, Frank Parker, Tori Amos, Jewel, Alex Trebek, Tori Wilson, Pat Sajak, Banjo Kazzooie, Twisted Metal 4, Doink the Clown, Pamela Anderson Lee, Tommy Lee, Alyssa Milano, Wendy Bray,Beth Hash, Ice Cube, Ice Tea, Vanilla Ice, M.C. Hammer, Villanos 1 through 42, Lenny Lane, Lodi, Tommy Orion, Billy Sadler, Benjamin Nyetanyahoo, Lolita Davidovich, Carnie Wilson, Indiana Jones, Han Solo, Luke Skywalker, James T. Kirk, Pubic hair spong, Barney the dinosaur, Big Bird, Snuffallunfagus, Will Smith, Tupac, Puff daddy, Pistacios Nuts, Mr. Peanut, Mr. T, Mr. Belding, Tweek and Craig, Zakk Wylde, Zack Morris, A.C. Slater, Kelly Capowski, Lisa Turtle, Screech, Jesse Spano, Carlos Santana, Wendy Bray, James Hettfield, Lars Ulrich, Kirk Hammet, Jason Newsted, Ralph Lauren, Ralph, Ronald Reagan, Jimmy Carter, George Bush, George Thorogood, David Arquette, Mariah Carey's Tits and Ass, The girl from Disc Jockey with perfect Tits and Ass, The all around hot girl from Sunglass Hut, The woman in Leopard Skin selling copper, The dudes that sell hoods, Tommmy Dreamer, all the guys at Nascar HQ, Tree Hugging Hippie Store, Dip N Dots, KISS dude at Spencers, Carie Worley, David at Kay Bee, Mindboggle, Silent Scope, Tyler Winkler, Henry Winkler, The Fonz, Jonie and Chachie, Richie Cunningham, Scott Bayo, Mel Saunders, Dustin Hoffman, Jack Nickelson, Hal Sparks, Mel Gibson, Bruce Willis, Chuck Norris, Tom Arnold, Walker,Texas Ranger, Randy Rhoads, Suzzanne Somers, Tom Selleck, Magnum P.I., Bert Reynolds, The cast of Riptide, Captain Winkie, Ben Folds Five, Steve Bushemi, Quentin Tarantino, Harvey Kytel, Penis pistol from duck til dawn, Mark Callaway, Salma Hayek, Jennifer Lopez, Daisey Fuetes, CATHERINE-ZETA-JONES, JENNY McCARTHY, Dennis Rodman, CARMAN ELECTRA, Denise Richards, Terri Runnels, Tori, Debra, Ivory, Chyna, Rena Mero, The chick with Black hair that was perfect, chick from Ames, Wendy Bray, Grace Slick, Jefferson Airplane, Clarence "the Fire Breathing Negro", Trojan Man, Julius Ceasar, CALIGULA, Stanley Kubrick, Oliver Stone, JFK, Jackie O, Steven Spielberg, Rob Sneider, George Lucas, Jeremy McGrath, Tony Hawk, Nick, Ryan, Roby and Tyler, Jergens Lotion, Hugo Boss, Squave, 12 dollar shampoo, Dave's Brush, David loves Miss Congeniality, David Horowitz...The Jew! He likes to watch us masterbate and he goes: "Splat splooo slooop" all over us, Rico Squave, Mitch Headberg, Lewis Black, THE ROCK, The girl who wouldn't have gone to college if it weren't for her horse, Steve Austin, Hacksaw Jim Duggan, Shane Douglas, Steve Corino, Hewlett Packard, Bill Gates, Jack Victory, ROADKILL, Danny Doring, Electra, DAWN MARIE, Justin Credible, Lance Storm: From Calgary...Alberta, Canada, Vito Lagrassi, Mulletts all over the globe, Little Guido, BIG SAL E. GRAZIANO, Tracy Smothers, Make-out fest 1986, Jerry Lynn, Spike Dudley, Mike Awesome, Masato Tanaka, Masahiro Chono, Yoshihiro Tajiri, The Great Muta, g Fresh, INDIANS from CANNIBAL THE MUSICAL, ALFRED PACKER, Juan Swartz, SCHWAN, Humphries, Trey Parker, Matt Stone, Meatloaf, Barbara Streisand, Dale Earnhardt,George Carlin, Jose Canseco, Cream Boxed Sets, THAT LOVELY, LOVELY POETRY BOOK, and of course, PROVIDENCE!
Merry Christmas to:





Richard Donald Underwood III
UNCLE David Setliff! ( The accountant )
Jessyca Hope Blankenship
Melissa, Eve, Foster, Brandi, Travis Ray Cole, Wes, The bartender's Ass, Christina, Terry, Culver,Mick Foley, Scruggs, Meachum, Shott, Stonestreet, WENDY BRAY, Burgess, Christen Carper, Jodi Taylor, Elisha Cuppett, Stephanie Fowler, Amanda Cochran, Charles Bently, John Henson, Chris and Beth Henry, Mr. Godfrey, Mr. Bourne, Mr. Hankey, Kenny, Kyle, Cartman, Stan, Beavis, Butt-head, Bo Duke, Luke Duke, Daisy, Uncle Jessie, Rosco P. Colet,rain, Boss Hogg, The 1988 Oakland A's, Droz, Jesus, Satan, Enus, Christopher Walken, Keith Richards, Eric Clapton, Ginger Baker, Jack Bruce, Jeff Beck, Jimmy Page, Joe F. Perry, DMX, ODB, Ja-Rule, Paul Stanley, Gene Simmons, Peter Criss, ACE FREHLEY, Bruce Kulick, Vinnie Vincent, Eric Carr, Eric Singer, Jessica Comer, Barry Dillon, Bigger Thomas, Jared Barker, Shawn Michaels, Jericho, SABU, RVD, Brandy Bagar, Paige Mustard, BROOKE BOURNE, Matthew Wooten, Lala Wooten, James Richard Wooten, Tammy Underwood, Richard Underwood Jr., T-Bone, Cooter, Effie Epperson, Bob Epperson, the one armed guy who hangs around downtown, Thomas J. Whitmore, Bruce Raven, Wedny Bray,Drake Calloway, Stephanie Ballargin (?), Pete, the guys at Anheiser-Busch, Jack Daniels, Jim Bean, Joel "whether at home or here in Dayton the women are watchin me and maturbatin" Gertner, Cyrus, Joey Styles, Anthony Perdue, Spyder Crowley, Johnny Blast, Ward and June, Brian Logan, Joey Morton, Jared Rottenberry, J.D. Rottenberry, Grandmasta Sexxy, Scotty Too Hotty, Danny Cameron, Heather Lyons, Jamie Hypes, Leah Hypes, Michael Williams, Brandon Williams, Last year's French chick, This years french chick, Kelly Howell, Jessica Stamper, Hannah Stamper, Ryan Stamper, Jeff Burnopp, Caressa Barton, her older sister who was cool, Sarah Kinder, Sarah Stevenson, Stephanie Walk, Steve Matthews, Thomas White, Arron Combs, Ben and Jerry, Daniel Mounts, the guy who "raped" Elisha Cuppett, Shannon Stewart, Mike Haddox, the Puppies, Ulysses, GENERAL LEE, KIT, David Hasslehoff, Jan Micheal Vincent, The guy in teh cartoon who turned into his car, the smurfs, the FRAGGLEs, Wendy Bray, Mario and Luigi, Sonic the Hedgehog, Walt Disney's cremated body, Pricess Di (in hell), JFK Jr., Hitler, Musolini, Castro, My Dad's French chick, Bret Hart, Owen Hart, Mike Meyers, Austin Powers, Wayne Cambell, Andy Kaufman, Tony Clifton, Ladka, Jerry "the King" Lawler, The cast of MTV'S "The State", Beth Littleford, Jon Stewart, Mo Rocca, Vance Degeneres, Steve Cobert, Jimmy Kimel, Ben Stein, Adam Corolla, Bill Clinton, His cock, Monica Lewinsky, Linda Tripp, Stephanie Flowers, Paula Jones, Tonya Harding, Nancy Kerrigan, Jeff Goloulee, Lou E. Dnagerously, Tom Petty, Mandy Moore, Britanny Spears, Christina Agulera, Backstreet Boys, N'SYNC, 98 Degrees, 3 count, Fozzy Osbourne, Ozzy Osbourne, Ozzie Osborune, Rob Zombie, Phil Anselmo, Dimebag Darrel, Vinnie Paul, Rex, Waylon Jennings, Wille Nelson, Johnny Cash, Kris Kristopherson, Yoko Ono, Fred Durst, The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, CREAM, Aerosmith, KISS, 80's KISS, Reunited KISS, Wendy bray,Flotsam and Jetsom, Metallica, Metallica w/out Cliff, AC/DC, Motley Crue, Poison, Unskinny Rose, C.C. Deville, Ford Motor COmpany, Steve Mother-fucking Polychronopolous, Adam Sandler, the Chrysler Corp, Every 1969 Dodge Chager every built (particulalry ones painted orange), Oldmobiles, Geos, Breyers Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream, Nicole Johnson, Nicole Perry, Nicole Thompson, Nicole Artrip, Nicole Sullivan, Nicole Baurer,
Nicole-(ous) Cage, Danny Bonaducci, Leif Garret, Donny Osmond, Marie Osmond, Tommy Hilfigger, Wendy Bray,FUBU, Levi, Lee, Wendy's resturaunt chain, niggers everywhere, all the fags, Jews, spics, chinks, japs, honkies, wetbacks, Nazi's, The Axis Powers, No Doubt, Sean Gurtis, Bush, Silverchair, Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Pearl Necklace, Pearl Drums, Pearl S. Buck, Pearly Bowman, Eric Estrada, Every car every blown up on TV or in a cool movie, Arnold Shwartzenager, That skinny bitch off Dateline he's married to, Jane Pauley, Stone Phillips, Tom Brokaw, Dan Rather, Peter Jennings, My insanlely large cock, Bryant Gumball, Katie Kouric, Willard Scott, Al Roker, Matt Lauer, Ronald McDonald, Grimmace, the Hamburgler, Birdie, Mayor McCheese, Bogey, Pammy, Rick, Scott Steiner, Drizzt Do'Urden, Elminister, the Polterguist, the Exorcist, Linda Blair, the Blair Witch, Heather Donahue, Phil Donahue, Rosie O'donnel, Oprah, Harpo Productions, Wendy Bray,Happy Madison Productions, David Spade, Dana Carvey, The 1984 Indianpolis Colts, Garth Algar, The Church Lady, Ross Perot, Micheal Ducockass,
Saddam Hussaine, Macanudo Cigars, Allsop Mousepads, Value Jet, Pan-Am flight 109 over Lockerby Scotland, George Clinton and Parlamental Funk, All the transvestites of the world, all of the transvestites removed penises, Lesbians, Jim Carrey, Ace Ventura, The Cable Guy, Fake Andy Kaufman, Rubberface, Lloyd Christmas, Fender Guitars, Gibson Guitars, Wendy Bray, Les Paul, Leo Fender, Marshall Amplifiers, Michael Jackson, Iron Maiden, Black Sabbath, Matt Glover, All the members of The Razor Blade Cult, Lloyd Bridges, Beau Bridges, Bea Arthur, Estelle Getty, Tim Allen, Abe Lincoln, The hot version of Sigourney Weaver, Al Snow, Al Gets, Al Yankovic, Allen Thick, Dick Clark, Andy Rooney, Andy Rickter, Conan O'Brien, Roger Anderson, Frank Parker, Tori Amos, Jewel, Alex Trebek, Tori Wilson, Pat Sajak, Banjo Kazzooie, Twisted Metal 4, Doink the Clown, Pamela Anderson Lee, Tommy Lee, Alyssa Milano, Wendy Bray,Beth Hash, Ice Cube, Ice Tea, Vanilla Ice, M.C. Hammer, Villanos 1 through 42, Lenny Lane, Lodi, Tommy Orion, Billy Sadler, Benjamin Nyetanyahoo, Lolita Davidovich, Carnie Wilson, Indiana Jones, Han Solo, Luke Skywalker, James T. Kirk, Pubic hair spong, Barney the dinosaur, Big Bird, Snuffallunfagus, Will Smith, Tupac, Puff daddy, Pistacios Nuts, Mr. Peanut, Mr. T, Mr. Belding, Tweek and Craig, Zakk Wylde, Zack Morris, A.C. Slater, Kelly Capowski, Lisa Turtle, Screech, Jesse Spano, Carlos Santana, Wendy Bray, James Hettfield, Lars Ulrich, Kirk Hammet, Jason Newsted, Ralph Lauren, Ralph, Ronald Reagan, Jimmy Carter, George Bush, George Thorogood, David Arquette, Mariah Carey's Tits and Ass, The girl from Disc Jockey with perfect Tits and Ass, The all around hot girl from Sunglass Hut, The woman in Leopard Skin selling copper, The dudes that sell hoods, Tommmy Dreamer, all the guys at Nascar HQ, Tree Hugging Hippie Store, Dip N Dots, KISS dude at Spencers, Carie Worley, David at Kay Bee, Mindboggle, Silent Scope, Tyler Winkler, Henry Winkler, The Fonz, Jonie and Chachie, Richie Cunningham, Scott Bayo, Mel Saunders, Dustin Hoffman, Jack Nickelson, Hal Sparks, Mel Gibson, Bruce Willis, Chuck Norris, Tom Arnold, Walker,Texas Ranger, Randy Rhoads, Suzzanne Somers, Tom Selleck, Magnum P.I., Bert Reynolds, The cast of Riptide, Captain Winkie, Ben Folds Five, Steve Bushemi, Quentin Tarantino, Harvey Kytel, Penis pistol from duck til dawn, Mark Callaway, Salma Hayek, Jennifer Lopez, Daisey Fuetes, CATHERINE-ZETA-JONES, JENNY McCARTHY, Dennis Rodman, CARMAN ELECTRA, Denise Richards, Terri Runnels, Tori, Debra, Ivory, Chyna, Rena Mero, The chick with Black hair that was perfect, chick from Ames, Wendy Bray, Grace Slick, Jefferson Airplane, Clarence "the Fire Breathing Negro", Trojan Man, Julius Ceasar, CALIGULA, Stanley Kubrick, Oliver Stone, JFK, Jackie O, Steven Spielberg, Rob Sneider, George Lucas, Jeremy McGrath, Tony Hawk, Nick, Ryan, Roby and Tyler, Jergens Lotion, Hugo Boss, Squave, 12 dollar shampoo, Dave's Brush, David loves Miss Congeniality, David Horowitz...The Jew! He likes to watch us masterbate and he goes: "Splat splooo slooop" all over us, Rico Squave, Mitch Headberg, Lewis Black, THE ROCK, The girl who wouldn't have gone to college if it weren't for her horse, Steve Austin, Hacksaw Jim Duggan, Shane Douglas, Steve Corino, Hewlett Packard, Bill Gates, Jack Victory, ROADKILL, Danny Doring, Electra, DAWN MARIE, Justin Credible, Lance Storm: From Calgary...Alberta, Canada, Vito Lagrassi, Mulletts all over the globe, Little Guido, BIG SAL E. GRAZIANO, Tracy Smothers, Make-out fest 1986, Jerry Lynn, Spike Dudley, Mike Awesome, Masato Tanaka, Masahiro Chono, Yoshihiro Tajiri, The Great Muta, g Fresh, INDIANS from CANNIBAL THE MUSICAL, ALFRED PACKER, Juan Swartz, SCHWAN, Humphries, Trey Parker, Matt Stone, Meatloaf, Barbara Streisand, Dale Earnhardt,George Carlin, Jose Canseco, Cream Boxed Sets, THAT LOVELY, LOVELY POETRY BOOK, and of course, PROVIDENCE!
Merry Christmas to:





Richard Donald Underwood III
UNCLE David Setliff! ( The accountant )
Jessyca Hope Blankenship
Melissa, Eve, Foster, Brandi, Travis Ray Cole, Wes, The bartender's Ass, Christina, Terry, Culver,Mick Foley, Scruggs, Meachum, Shott, Stonestreet, WENDY BRAY, Burgess, Christen Carper, Jodi Taylor, Elisha Cuppett, Stephanie Fowler, Amanda Cochran, Charles Bently, John Henson, Chris and Beth Henry, Mr. Godfrey, Mr. Bourne, Mr. Hankey, Kenny, Kyle, Cartman, Stan, Beavis, Butt-head, Bo Duke, Luke Duke, Daisy, Uncle Jessie, Rosco P. Colet,rain, Boss Hogg, The 1988 Oakland A's, Droz, Jesus, Satan, Enus, Christopher Walken, Keith Richards, Eric Clapton, Ginger Baker, Jack Bruce, Jeff Beck, Jimmy Page, Joe F. Perry, DMX, ODB, Ja-Rule, Paul Stanley, Gene Simmons, Peter Criss, ACE FREHLEY, Bruce Kulick, Vinnie Vincent, Eric Carr, Eric Singer, Jessica Comer, Barry Dillon, Bigger Thomas, Jared Barker, Shawn Michaels, Jericho, SABU, RVD, Brandy Bagar, Paige Mustard, BROOKE BOURNE, Matthew Wooten, Lala Wooten, James Richard Wooten, Tammy Underwood, Richard Underwood Jr., T-Bone, Cooter, Effie Epperson, Bob Epperson, the one armed guy who hangs around downtown, Thomas J. Whitmore, Bruce Raven, Wedny Bray,Drake Calloway, Stephanie Ballargin (?), Pete, the guys at Anheiser-Busch, Jack Daniels, Jim Bean, Joel "whether at home or here in Dayton the women are watchin me and maturbatin" Gertner, Cyrus, Joey Styles, Anthony Perdue, Spyder Crowley, Johnny Blast, Ward and June, Brian Logan, Joey Morton, Jared Rottenberry, J.D. Rottenberry, Grandmasta Sexxy, Scotty Too Hotty, Danny Cameron, Heather Lyons, Jamie Hypes, Leah Hypes, Michael Williams, Brandon Williams, Last year's French chick, This years french chick, Kelly Howell, Jessica Stamper, Hannah Stamper, Ryan Stamper, Jeff Burnopp, Caressa Barton, her older sister who was cool, Sarah Kinder, Sarah Stevenson, Stephanie Walk, Steve Matthews, Thomas White, Arron Combs, Ben and Jerry, Daniel Mounts, the guy who "raped" Elisha Cuppett, Shannon Stewart, Mike Haddox, the Puppies, Ulysses, GENERAL LEE, KIT, David Hasslehoff, Jan Micheal Vincent, The guy in teh cartoon who turned into his car, the smurfs, the FRAGGLEs, Wendy Bray, Mario and Luigi, Sonic the Hedgehog, Walt Disney's cremated body, Pricess Di (in hell), JFK Jr., Hitler, Musolini, Castro, My Dad's French chick, Bret Hart, Owen Hart, Mike Meyers, Austin Powers, Wayne Cambell, Andy Kaufman, Tony Clifton, Ladka, Jerry "the King" Lawler, The cast of MTV'S "The State", Beth Littleford, Jon Stewart, Mo Rocca, Vance Degeneres, Steve Cobert, Jimmy Kimel, Ben Stein, Adam Corolla, Bill Clinton, His cock, Monica Lewinsky, Linda Tripp, Stephanie Flowers, Paula Jones, Tonya Harding, Nancy Kerrigan, Jeff Goloulee, Lou E. Dnagerously, Tom Petty, Mandy Moore, Britanny Spears, Christina Agulera, Backstreet Boys, N'SYNC, 98 Degrees, 3 count, Fozzy Osbourne, Ozzy Osbourne, Ozzie Osborune, Rob Zombie, Phil Anselmo, Dimebag Darrel, Vinnie Paul, Rex, Waylon Jennings, Wille Nelson, Johnny Cash, Kris Kristopherson, Yoko Ono, Fred Durst, The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, CREAM, Aerosmith, KISS, 80's KISS, Reunited KISS, Wendy bray,Flotsam and Jetsom, Metallica, Metallica w/out Cliff, AC/DC, Motley Crue, Poison, Unskinny Rose, C.C. Deville, Ford Motor COmpany, Steve Mother-fucking Polychronopolous, Adam Sandler, the Chrysler Corp, Every 1969 Dodge Chager every built (particulalry ones painted orange), Oldmobiles, Geos, Breyers Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream, Nicole Johnson, Nicole Perry, Nicole Thompson, Nicole Artrip, Nicole Sullivan, Nicole Baurer,
Nicole-(ous) Cage, Danny Bonaducci, Leif Garret, Donny Osmond, Marie Osmond, Tommy Hilfigger, Wendy Bray,FUBU, Levi, Lee, Wendy's resturaunt chain, niggers everywhere, all the fags, Jews, spics, chinks, japs, honkies, wetbacks, Nazi's, The Axis Powers, No Doubt, Sean Gurtis, Bush, Silverchair, Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Pearl Necklace, Pearl Drums, Pearl S. Buck, Pearly Bowman, Eric Estrada, Every car every blown up on TV or in a cool movie, Arnold Shwartzenager, That skinny bitch off Dateline he's married to, Jane Pauley, Stone Phillips, Tom Brokaw, Dan Rather, Peter Jennings, My insanlely large cock, Bryant Gumball, Katie Kouric, Willard Scott, Al Roker, Matt Lauer, Ronald McDonald, Grimmace, the Hamburgler, Birdie, Mayor McCheese, Bogey, Pammy, Rick, Scott Steiner, Drizzt Do'Urden, Elminister, the Polterguist, the Exorcist, Linda Blair, the Blair Witch, Heather Donahue, Phil Donahue, Rosie O'donnel, Oprah, Harpo Productions, Wendy Bray,Happy Madison Productions, David Spade, Dana Carvey, The 1984 Indianpolis Colts, Garth Algar, The Church Lady, Ross Perot, Micheal Ducockass,
Saddam Hussaine, Macanudo Cigars, Allsop Mousepads, Value Jet, Pan-Am flight 109 over Lockerby Scotland, George Clinton and Parlamental Funk, All the transvestites of the world, all of the transvestites removed penises, Lesbians, Jim Carrey, Ace Ventura, The Cable Guy, Fake Andy Kaufman, Rubberface, Lloyd Christmas, Fender Guitars, Gibson Guitars, Wendy Bray, Les Paul, Leo Fender, Marshall Amplifiers, Michael Jackson, Iron Maiden, Black Sabbath, Matt Glover, All the members of The Razor Blade Cult, Lloyd Bridges, Beau Bridges, Bea Arthur, Estelle Getty, Tim Allen, Abe Lincoln, The hot version of Sigourney Weaver, Al Snow, Al Gets, Al Yankovic, Allen Thick, Dick Clark, Andy Rooney, Andy Rickter, Conan O'Brien, Roger Anderson, Frank Parker, Tori Amos, Jewel, Alex Trebek, Tori Wilson, Pat Sajak, Banjo Kazzooie, Twisted Metal 4, Doink the Clown, Pamela Anderson Lee, Tommy Lee, Alyssa Milano, Wendy Bray,Beth Hash, Ice Cube, Ice Tea, Vanilla Ice, M.C. Hammer, Villanos 1 through 42, Lenny Lane, Lodi, Tommy Orion, Billy Sadler, Benjamin Nyetanyahoo, Lolita Davidovich, Carnie Wilson, Indiana Jones, Han Solo, Luke Skywalker, James T. Kirk, Pubic hair spong, Barney the dinosaur, Big Bird, Snuffallunfagus, Will Smith, Tupac, Puff daddy, Pistacios Nuts, Mr. Peanut, Mr. T, Mr. Belding, Tweek and Craig, Zakk Wylde, Zack Morris, A.C. Slater, Kelly Capowski, Lisa Turtle, Screech, Jesse Spano, Carlos Santana, Wendy Bray, James Hettfield, Lars Ulrich, Kirk Hammet, Jason Newsted, Ralph Lauren, Ralph, Ronald Reagan, Jimmy Carter, George Bush, George Thorogood, David Arquette, Mariah Carey's Tits and Ass, The girl from Disc Jockey with perfect Tits and Ass, The all around hot girl from Sunglass Hut, The woman in Leopard Skin selling copper, The dudes that sell hoods, Tommmy Dreamer, all the guys at Nascar HQ, Tree Hugging Hippie Store, Dip N Dots, KISS dude at Spencers, Carie Worley, David at Kay Bee, Mindboggle, Silent Scope, Tyler Winkler, Henry Winkler, The Fonz, Jonie and Chachie, Richie Cunningham, Scott Bayo, Mel Saunders, Dustin Hoffman, Jack Nickelson, Hal Sparks, Mel Gibson, Bruce Willis, Chuck Norris, Tom Arnold, Walker,Texas Ranger, Randy Rhoads, Suzzanne Somers, Tom Selleck, Magnum P.I., Bert Reynolds, The cast of Riptide, Captain Winkie, Ben Folds Five, Steve Bushemi, Quentin Tarantino, Harvey Kytel, Penis pistol from duck til dawn, Mark Callaway, Salma Hayek, Jennifer Lopez, Daisey Fuetes, CATHERINE-ZETA-JONES, JENNY McCARTHY, Dennis Rodman, CARMAN ELECTRA, Denise Richards, Terri Runnels, Tori, Debra, Ivory, Chyna, Rena Mero, The chick with Black hair that was perfect, chick from Ames, Wendy Bray, Grace Slick, Jefferson Airplane, Clarence "the Fire Breathing Negro", Trojan Man, Julius Ceasar, CALIGULA, Stanley Kubrick, Oliver Stone, JFK, Jackie O, Steven Spielberg, Rob Sneider, George Lucas, Jeremy McGrath, Tony Hawk, Nick, Ryan, Roby and Tyler, Jergens Lotion, Hugo Boss, Squave, 12 dollar shampoo, Dave's Brush, David loves Miss Congeniality, David Horowitz...The Jew! He likes to watch us masterbate and he goes: "Splat splooo slooop" all over us, Rico Squave, Mitch Headberg, Lewis Black, THE ROCK, The girl who wouldn't have gone to college if it weren't for her horse, Steve Austin, Hacksaw Jim Duggan, Shane Douglas, Steve Corino, Hewlett Packard, Bill Gates, Jack Victory, ROADKILL, Danny Doring, Electra, DAWN MARIE, Justin Credible, Lance Storm: From Calgary...Alberta, Canada, Vito Lagrassi, Mulletts all over the globe, Little Guido, BIG SAL E. GRAZIANO, Tracy Smothers, Make-out fest 1986, Jerry Lynn, Spike Dudley, Mike Awesome, Masato Tanaka, Masahiro Chono, Yoshihiro Tajiri, The Great Muta, g Fresh, INDIANS from CANNIBAL THE MUSICAL, ALFRED PACKER, Juan Swartz, SCHWAN, Humphries, Trey Parker, Matt Stone, Meatloaf, Barbara Streisand, Dale Earnhardt,George Carlin, Jose Canseco, Cream Boxed Sets, THAT LOVELY, LOVELY POETRY BOOK, and of course, PROVIDENCE!


Poopy McGee

Bartholemeuw J. Simpson
- Saturday, December 25, 1999 at 11:44:33 (PST)


the damn thing just wouldnt shut up .....
I had to do it....
I just had to...
Pretynd
- Saturday, December 25, 1999 at 08:13:35 (PST)


Merry Christmas to:





Richard Donald Underwood III
UNCLE David Setliff! ( The accountant )
Jessyca Hope Blankenship
Melissa, Eve, Foster, Brandi, Travis Ray Cole, Wes, The bartender's Ass, Christina, Terry, Culver,Mick Foley, Scruggs, Meachum, Shott, Stonestreet, WENDY BRAY, Burgess, Christen Carper, Jodi Taylor, Elisha Cuppett, Stephanie Fowler, Amanda Cochran, Charles Bently, John Henson, Chris and Beth Henry, Mr. Godfrey, Mr. Bourne, Mr. Hankey, Kenny, Kyle, Cartman, Stan, Beavis, Butt-head, Bo Duke, Luke Duke, Daisy, Uncle Jessie, Rosco P. Colet,rain, Boss Hogg, The 1988 Oakland A's, Droz, Jesus, Satan, Enus, Christopher Walken, Keith Richards, Eric Clapton, Ginger Baker, Jack Bruce, Jeff Beck, Jimmy Page, Joe F. Perry, DMX, ODB, Ja-Rule, Paul Stanley, Gene Simmons, Peter Criss, ACE FREHLEY, Bruce Kulick, Vinnie Vincent, Eric Carr, Eric Singer, Jessica Comer, Barry Dillon, Bigger Thomas, Jared Barker, Shawn Michaels, Jericho, SABU, RVD, Brandy Bagar, Paige Mustard, BROOKE BOURNE, Matthew Wooten, Lala Wooten, James Richard Wooten, Tammy Underwood, Richard Underwood Jr., T-Bone, Cooter, Effie Epperson, Bob Epperson, the one armed guy who hangs around downtown, Thomas J. Whitmore, Bruce Raven, Wedny Bray,Drake Calloway, Stephanie Ballargin (?), Pete, the guys at Anheiser-Busch, Jack Daniels, Jim Bean, Joel "whether at home or here in Dayton the women are watchin me and maturbatin" Gertner, Cyrus, Joey Styles, Anthony Perdue, Spyder Crowley, Johnny Blast, Ward and June, Brian Logan, Joey Morton, Jared Rottenberry, J.D. Rottenberry, Grandmasta Sexxy, Scotty Too Hotty, Danny Cameron, Heather Lyons, Jamie Hypes, Leah Hypes, Michael Williams, Brandon Williams, Last year's French chick, This years french chick, Kelly Howell, Jessica Stamper, Hannah Stamper, Ryan Stamper, Jeff Burnopp, Caressa Barton, her older sister who was cool, Sarah Kinder, Sarah Stevenson, Stephanie Walk, Steve Matthews, Thomas White, Arron Combs, Ben and Jerry, Daniel Mounts, the guy who "raped" Elisha Cuppett, Shannon Stewart, Mike Haddox, the Puppies, Ulysses, GENERAL LEE, KIT, David Hasslehoff, Jan Micheal Vincent, The guy in teh cartoon who turned into his car, the smurfs, the FRAGGLEs, Wendy Bray, Mario and Luigi, Sonic the Hedgehog, Walt Disney's cremated body, Pricess Di (in hell), JFK Jr., Hitler, Musolini, Castro, My Dad's French chick, Bret Hart, Owen Hart, Mike Meyers, Austin Powers, Wayne Cambell, Andy Kaufman, Tony Clifton, Ladka, Jerry "the King" Lawler, The cast of MTV'S "The State", Beth Littleford, Jon Stewart, Mo Rocca, Vance Degeneres, Steve Cobert, Jimmy Kimel, Ben Stein, Adam Corolla, Bill Clinton, His cock, Monica Lewinsky, Linda Tripp, Stephanie Flowers, Paula Jones, Tonya Harding, Nancy Kerrigan, Jeff Goloulee, Lou E. Dnagerously, Tom Petty, Mandy Moore, Britanny Spears, Christina Agulera, Backstreet Boys, N'SYNC, 98 Degrees, 3 count, Fozzy Osbourne, Ozzy Osbourne, Ozzie Osborune, Rob Zombie, Phil Anselmo, Dimebag Darrel, Vinnie Paul, Rex, Waylon Jennings, Wille Nelson, Johnny Cash, Kris Kristopherson, Yoko Ono, Fred Durst, The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, CREAM, Aerosmith, KISS, 80's KISS, Reunited KISS, Wendy bray,Flotsam and Jetsom, Metallica, Metallica w/out Cliff, AC/DC, Motley Crue, Poison, Unskinny Rose, C.C. Deville, Ford Motor COmpany, Steve Mother-fucking Polychronopolous, Adam Sandler, the Chrysler Corp, Every 1969 Dodge Chager every built (particulalry ones painted orange), Oldmobiles, Geos, Breyers Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream, Nicole Johnson, Nicole Perry, Nicole Thompson, Nicole Artrip, Nicole Sullivan, Nicole Baurer,
Nicole-(ous) Cage, Danny Bonaducci, Leif Garret, Donny Osmond, Marie Osmond, Tommy Hilfigger, Wendy Bray,FUBU, Levi, Lee, Wendy's resturaunt chain, niggers everywhere, all the fags, Jews, spics, chinks, japs, honkies, wetbacks, Nazi's, The Axis Powers, No Doubt, Sean Gurtis, Bush, Silverchair, Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Pearl Necklace, Pearl Drums, Pearl S. Buck, Pearly Bowman, Eric Estrada, Every car every blown up on TV or in a cool movie, Arnold Shwartzenager, That skinny bitch off Dateline he's married to, Jane Pauley, Stone Phillips, Tom Brokaw, Dan Rather, Peter Jennings, My insanlely large cock, Bryant Gumball, Katie Kouric, Willard Scott, Al Roker, Matt Lauer, Ronald McDonald, Grimmace, the Hamburgler, Birdie, Mayor McCheese, Bogey, Pammy, Rick, Scott Steiner, Drizzt Do'Urden, Elminister, the Polterguist, the Exorcist, Linda Blair, the Blair Witch, Heather Donahue, Phil Donahue, Rosie O'donnel, Oprah, Harpo Productions, Wendy Bray,Happy Madison Productions, David Spade, Dana Carvey, The 1984 Indianpolis Colts, Garth Algar, The Church Lady, Ross Perot, Micheal Ducockass,
Saddam Hussaine, Macanudo Cigars, Allsop Mousepads, Value Jet, Pan-Am flight 109 over Lockerby Scotland, George Clinton and Parlamental Funk, All the transvestites of the world, all of the transvestites removed penises, Lesbians, Jim Carrey, Ace Ventura, The Cable Guy, Fake Andy Kaufman, Rubberface, Lloyd Christmas, Fender Guitars, Gibson Guitars, Wendy Bray, Les Paul, Leo Fender, Marshall Amplifiers, Michael Jackson, Iron Maiden, Black Sabbath, Matt Glover, All the members of The Razor Blade Cult, Lloyd Bridges, Beau Bridges, Bea Arthur, Estelle Getty, Tim Allen, Abe Lincoln, The hot version of Sigourney Weaver, Al Snow, Al Gets, Al Yankovic, Allen Thick, Dick Clark, Andy Rooney, Andy Rickter, Conan O'Brien, Roger Anderson, Frank Parker, Tori Amos, Jewel, Alex Trebek, Tori Wilson, Pat Sajak, Banjo Kazzooie, Twisted Metal 4, Doink the Clown, Pamela Anderson Lee, Tommy Lee, Alyssa Milano, Wendy Bray,Beth Hash, Ice Cube, Ice Tea, Vanilla Ice, M.C. Hammer, Villanos 1 through 42, Lenny Lane, Lodi, Tommy Orion, Billy Sadler, Benjamin Nyetanyahoo, Lolita Davidovich, Carnie Wilson, Indiana Jones, Han Solo, Luke Skywalker, James T. Kirk, Pubic hair spong, Barney the dinosaur, Big Bird, Snuffallunfagus, Will Smith, Tupac, Puff daddy, Pistacios Nuts, Mr. Peanut, Mr. T, Mr. Belding, Tweek and Craig, Zakk Wylde, Zack Morris, A.C. Slater, Kelly Capowski, Lisa Turtle, Screech, Jesse Spano, Carlos Santana, Wendy Bray, James Hettfield, Lars Ulrich, Kirk Hammet, Jason Newsted, Ralph Lauren, Ralph, Ronald Reagan, Jimmy Carter, George Bush, George Thorogood, David Arquette, Mariah Carey's Tits and Ass, The girl from Disc Jockey with perfect Tits and Ass, The all around hot girl from Sunglass Hut, The woman in Leopard Skin selling copper, The dudes that sell hoods, Tommmy Dreamer, all the guys at Nascar HQ, Tree Hugging Hippie Store, Dip N Dots, KISS dude at Spencers, Carie Worley, David at Kay Bee, Mindboggle, Silent Scope, Tyler Winkler, Henry Winkler, The Fonz, Jonie and Chachie, Richie Cunningham, Scott Bayo, Mel Saunders, Dustin Hoffman, Jack Nickelson, Hal Sparks, Mel Gibson, Bruce Willis, Chuck Norris, Tom Arnold, Walker,Texas Ranger, Randy Rhoads, Suzzanne Somers, Tom Selleck, Magnum P.I., Bert Reynolds, The cast of Riptide, Captain Winkie, Ben Folds Five, Steve Bushemi, Quentin Tarantino, Harvey Kytel, Penis pistol from duck til dawn, Mark Callaway, Salma Hayek, Jennifer Lopez, Daisey Fuetes, CATHERINE-ZETA-JONES, JENNY McCARTHY, Dennis Rodman, CARMAN ELECTRA, Denise Richards, Terri Runnels, Tori, Debra, Ivory, Chyna, Rena Mero, The chick with Black hair that was perfect, chick from Ames, Wendy Bray, Grace Slick, Jefferson Airplane, Clarence "the Fire Breathing Negro", Trojan Man, Julius Ceasar, CALIGULA, Stanley Kubrick, Oliver Stone, JFK, Jackie O, Steven Spielberg, Rob Sneider, George Lucas, Jeremy McGrath, Tony Hawk, Nick, Ryan, Roby and Tyler, Jergens Lotion, Hugo Boss, Squave, 12 dollar shampoo, Dave's Brush, David loves Miss Congeniality, David Horowitz...The Jew! He likes to watch us masterbate and he goes: "Splat splooo slooop" all over us, Rico Squave, Mitch Headberg, Lewis Black, THE ROCK, The girl who wouldn't have gone to college if it weren't for her horse, Steve Austin, Hacksaw Jim Duggan, Shane Douglas, Steve Corino, Hewlett Packard, Bill Gates, Jack Victory, ROADKILL, Danny Doring, Electra, DAWN MARIE, Justin Credible, Lance Storm: From Calgary...Alberta, Canada, Vito Lagrassi, Mulletts all over the globe, Little Guido, BIG SAL E. GRAZIANO, Tracy Smothers, Make-out fest 1986, Jerry Lynn, Spike Dudley, Mike Awesome, Masato Tanaka, Masahiro Chono, Yoshihiro Tajiri, The Great Muta, g Fresh, INDIANS from CANNIBAL THE MUSICAL, ALFRED PACKER, Juan Swartz, SCHWAN, Humphries, Trey Parker, Matt Stone, Meatloaf, Barbara Streisand, Dale Earnhardt,George Carlin, Jose Canseco, Cream Boxed Sets, THAT LOVELY, LOVELY POETRY BOOK, and of course, PROVIDENCE!
Merry Christmas to:





Richard Donald Underwood III
UNCLE David Setliff! ( The accountant )
Jessyca Hope Blankenship
Melissa, Eve, Foster, Brandi, Travis Ray Cole, Wes, The bartender's Ass, Christina, Terry, Culver,Mick Foley, Scruggs, Meachum, Shott, Stonestreet, WENDY BRAY, Burgess, Christen Carper, Jodi Taylor, Elisha Cuppett, Stephanie Fowler, Amanda Cochran, Charles Bently, John Henson, Chris and Beth Henry, Mr. Godfrey, Mr. Bourne, Mr. Hankey, Kenny, Kyle, Cartman, Stan, Beavis, Butt-head, Bo Duke, Luke Duke, Daisy, Uncle Jessie, Rosco P. Colet,rain, Boss Hogg, The 1988 Oakland A's, Droz, Jesus, Satan, Enus, Christopher Walken, Keith Richards, Eric Clapton, Ginger Baker, Jack Bruce, Jeff Beck, Jimmy Page, Joe F. Perry, DMX, ODB, Ja-Rule, Paul Stanley, Gene Simmons, Peter Criss, ACE FREHLEY, Bruce Kulick, Vinnie Vincent, Eric Carr, Eric Singer, Jessica Comer, Barry Dillon, Bigger Thomas, Jared Barker, Shawn Michaels, Jericho, SABU, RVD, Brandy Bagar, Paige Mustard, BROOKE BOURNE, Matthew Wooten, Lala Wooten, James Richard Wooten, Tammy Underwood, Richard Underwood Jr., T-Bone, Cooter, Effie Epperson, Bob Epperson, the one armed guy who hangs around downtown, Thomas J. Whitmore, Bruce Raven, Wedny Bray,Drake Calloway, Stephanie Ballargin (?), Pete, the guys at Anheiser-Busch, Jack Daniels, Jim Bean, Joel "whether at home or here in Dayton the women are watchin me and maturbatin" Gertner, Cyrus, Joey Styles, Anthony Perdue, Spyder Crowley, Johnny Blast, Ward and June, Brian Logan, Joey Morton, Jared Rottenberry, J.D. Rottenberry, Grandmasta Sexxy, Scotty Too Hotty, Danny Cameron, Heather Lyons, Jamie Hypes, Leah Hypes, Michael Williams, Brandon Williams, Last year's French chick, This years french chick, Kelly Howell, Jessica Stamper, Hannah Stamper, Ryan Stamper, Jeff Burnopp, Caressa Barton, her older sister who was cool, Sarah Kinder, Sarah Stevenson, Stephanie Walk, Steve Matthews, Thomas White, Arron Combs, Ben and Jerry, Daniel Mounts, the guy who "raped" Elisha Cuppett, Shannon Stewart, Mike Haddox, the Puppies, Ulysses, GENERAL LEE, KIT, David Hasslehoff, Jan Micheal Vincent, The guy in teh cartoon who turned into his car, the smurfs, the FRAGGLEs, Wendy Bray, Mario and Luigi, Sonic the Hedgehog, Walt Disney's cremated body, Pricess Di (in hell), JFK Jr., Hitler, Musolini, Castro, My Dad's French chick, Bret Hart, Owen Hart, Mike Meyers, Austin Powers, Wayne Cambell, Andy Kaufman, Tony Clifton, Ladka, Jerry "the King" Lawler, The cast of MTV'S "The State", Beth Littleford, Jon Stewart, Mo Rocca, Vance Degeneres, Steve Cobert, Jimmy Kimel, Ben Stein, Adam Corolla, Bill Clinton, His cock, Monica Lewinsky, Linda Tripp, Stephanie Flowers, Paula Jones, Tonya Harding, Nancy Kerrigan, Jeff Goloulee, Lou E. Dnagerously, Tom Petty, Mandy Moore, Britanny Spears, Christina Agulera, Backstreet Boys, N'SYNC, 98 Degrees, 3 count, Fozzy Osbourne, Ozzy Osbourne, Ozzie Osborune, Rob Zombie, Phil Anselmo, Dimebag Darrel, Vinnie Paul, Rex, Waylon Jennings, Wille Nelson, Johnny Cash, Kris Kristopherson, Yoko Ono, Fred Durst, The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, CREAM, Aerosmith, KISS, 80's KISS, Reunited KISS, Wendy bray,Flotsam and Jetsom, Metallica, Metallica w/out Cliff, AC/DC, Motley Crue, Poison, Unskinny Rose, C.C. Deville, Ford Motor COmpany, Steve Mother-fucking Polychronopolous, Adam Sandler, the Chrysler Corp, Every 1969 Dodge Chager every built (particulalry ones painted orange), Oldmobiles, Geos, Breyers Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream, Nicole Johnson, Nicole Perry, Nicole Thompson, Nicole Artrip, Nicole Sullivan, Nicole Baurer,
Nicole-(ous) Cage, Danny Bonaducci, Leif Garret, Donny Osmond, Marie Osmond, Tommy Hilfigger, Wendy Bray,FUBU, Levi, Lee, Wendy's resturaunt chain, niggers everywhere, all the fags, Jews, spics, chinks, japs, honkies, wetbacks, Nazi's, The Axis Powers, No Doubt, Sean Gurtis, Bush, Silverchair, Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Pearl Necklace, Pearl Drums, Pearl S. Buck, Pearly Bowman, Eric Estrada, Every car every blown up on TV or in a cool movie, Arnold Shwartzenager, That skinny bitch off Dateline he's married to, Jane Pauley, Stone Phillips, Tom Brokaw, Dan Rather, Peter Jennings, My insanlely large cock, Bryant Gumball, Katie Kouric, Willard Scott, Al Roker, Matt Lauer, Ronald McDonald, Grimmace, the Hamburgler, Birdie, Mayor McCheese, Bogey, Pammy, Rick, Scott Steiner, Drizzt Do'Urden, Elminister, the Polterguist, the Exorcist, Linda Blair, the Blair Witch, Heather Donahue, Phil Donahue, Rosie O'donnel, Oprah, Harpo Productions, Wendy Bray,Happy Madison Productions, David Spade, Dana Carvey, The 1984 Indianpolis Colts, Garth Algar, The Church Lady, Ross Perot, Micheal Ducockass,
Saddam Hussaine, Macanudo Cigars, Allsop Mousepads, Value Jet, Pan-Am flight 109 over Lockerby Scotland, George Clinton and Parlamental Funk, All the transvestites of the world, all of the transvestites removed penises, Lesbians, Jim Carrey, Ace Ventura, The Cable Guy, Fake Andy Kaufman, Rubberface, Lloyd Christmas, Fender Guitars, Gibson Guitars, Wendy Bray, Les Paul, Leo Fender, Marshall Amplifiers, Michael Jackson, Iron Maiden, Black Sabbath, Matt Glover, All the members of The Razor Blade Cult, Lloyd Bridges, Beau Bridges, Bea Arthur, Estelle Getty, Tim Allen, Abe Lincoln, The hot version of Sigourney Weaver, Al Snow, Al Gets, Al Yankovic, Allen Thick, Dick Clark, Andy Rooney, Andy Rickter, Conan O'Brien, Roger Anderson, Frank Parker, Tori Amos, Jewel, Alex Trebek, Tori Wilson, Pat Sajak, Banjo Kazzooie, Twisted Metal 4, Doink the Clown, Pamela Anderson Lee, Tommy Lee, Alyssa Milano, Wendy Bray,Beth Hash, Ice Cube, Ice Tea, Vanilla Ice, M.C. Hammer, Villanos 1 through 42, Lenny Lane, Lodi, Tommy Orion, Billy Sadler, Benjamin Nyetanyahoo, Lolita Davidovich, Carnie Wilson, Indiana Jones, Han Solo, Luke Skywalker, James T. Kirk, Pubic hair spong, Barney the dinosaur, Big Bird, Snuffallunfagus, Will Smith, Tupac, Puff daddy, Pistacios Nuts, Mr. Peanut, Mr. T, Mr. Belding, Tweek and Craig, Zakk Wylde, Zack Morris, A.C. Slater, Kelly Capowski, Lisa Turtle, Screech, Jesse Spano, Carlos Santana, Wendy Bray, James Hettfield, Lars Ulrich, Kirk Hammet, Jason Newsted, Ralph Lauren, Ralph, Ronald Reagan, Jimmy Carter, George Bush, George Thorogood, David Arquette, Mariah Carey's Tits and Ass, The girl from Disc Jockey with perfect Tits and Ass, The all around hot girl from Sunglass Hut, The woman in Leopard Skin selling copper, The dudes that sell hoods, Tommmy Dreamer, all the guys at Nascar HQ, Tree Hugging Hippie Store, Dip N Dots, KISS dude at Spencers, Carie Worley, David at Kay Bee, Mindboggle, Silent Scope, Tyler Winkler, Henry Winkler, The Fonz, Jonie and Chachie, Richie Cunningham, Scott Bayo, Mel Saunders, Dustin Hoffman, Jack Nickelson, Hal Sparks, Mel Gibson, Bruce Willis, Chuck Norris, Tom Arnold, Walker,Texas Ranger, Randy Rhoads, Suzzanne Somers, Tom Selleck, Magnum P.I., Bert Reynolds, The cast of Riptide, Captain Winkie, Ben Folds Five, Steve Bushemi, Quentin Tarantino, Harvey Kytel, Penis pistol from duck til dawn, Mark Callaway, Salma Hayek, Jennifer Lopez, Daisey Fuetes, CATHERINE-ZETA-JONES, JENNY McCARTHY, Dennis Rodman, CARMAN ELECTRA, Denise Richards, Terri Runnels, Tori, Debra, Ivory, Chyna, Rena Mero, The chick with Black hair that was perfect, chick from Ames, Wendy Bray, Grace Slick, Jefferson Airplane, Clarence "the Fire Breathing Negro", Trojan Man, Julius Ceasar, CALIGULA, Stanley Kubrick, Oliver Stone, JFK, Jackie O, Steven Spielberg, Rob Sneider, George Lucas, Jeremy McGrath, Tony Hawk, Nick, Ryan, Roby and Tyler, Jergens Lotion, Hugo Boss, Squave, 12 dollar shampoo, Dave's Brush, David loves Miss Congeniality, David Horowitz...The Jew! He likes to watch us masterbate and he goes: "Splat splooo slooop" all over us, Rico Squave, Mitch Headberg, Lewis Black, THE ROCK, The girl who wouldn't have gone to college if it weren't for her horse, Steve Austin, Hacksaw Jim Duggan, Shane Douglas, Steve Corino, Hewlett Packard, Bill Gates, Jack Victory, ROADKILL, Danny Doring, Electra, DAWN MARIE, Justin Credible, Lance Storm: From Calgary...Alberta, Canada, Vito Lagrassi, Mulletts all over the globe, Little Guido, BIG SAL E. GRAZIANO, Tracy Smothers, Make-out fest 1986, Jerry Lynn, Spike Dudley, Mike Awesome, Masato Tanaka, Masahiro Chono, Yoshihiro Tajiri, The Great Muta, g Fresh, INDIANS from CANNIBAL THE MUSICAL, ALFRED PACKER, Juan Swartz, SCHWAN, Humphries, Trey Parker, Matt Stone, Meatloaf, Barbara Streisand, Dale Earnhardt,George Carlin, Jose Canseco, Cream Boxed Sets, THAT LOVELY, LOVELY POETRY BOOK, and of course, PROVIDENCE!
Merry Christmas to:





Richard Donald Underwood III
UNCLE David Setliff! ( The accountant )
Jessyca Hope Blankenship
Melissa, Eve, Foster, Brandi, Travis Ray Cole, Wes, The bartender's Ass, Christina, Terry, Culver,Mick Foley, Scruggs, Meachum, Shott, Stonestreet, WENDY BRAY, Burgess, Christen Carper, Jodi Taylor, Elisha Cuppett, Stephanie Fowler, Amanda Cochran, Charles Bently, John Henson, Chris and Beth Henry, Mr. Godfrey, Mr. Bourne, Mr. Hankey, Kenny, Kyle, Cartman, Stan, Beavis, Butt-head, Bo Duke, Luke Duke, Daisy, Uncle Jessie, Rosco P. Colet,rain, Boss Hogg, The 1988 Oakland A's, Droz, Jesus, Satan, Enus, Christopher Walken, Keith Richards, Eric Clapton, Ginger Baker, Jack Bruce, Jeff Beck, Jimmy Page, Joe F. Perry, DMX, ODB, Ja-Rule, Paul Stanley, Gene Simmons, Peter Criss, ACE FREHLEY, Bruce Kulick, Vinnie Vincent, Eric Carr, Eric Singer, Jessica Comer, Barry Dillon, Bigger Thomas, Jared Barker, Shawn Michaels, Jericho, SABU, RVD, Brandy Bagar, Paige Mustard, BROOKE BOURNE, Matthew Wooten, Lala Wooten, James Richard Wooten, Tammy Underwood, Richard Underwood Jr., T-Bone, Cooter, Effie Epperson, Bob Epperson, the one armed guy who hangs around downtown, Thomas J. Whitmore, Bruce Raven, Wedny Bray,Drake Calloway, Stephanie Ballargin (?), Pete, the guys at Anheiser-Busch, Jack Daniels, Jim Bean, Joel "whether at home or here in Dayton the women are watchin me and maturbatin" Gertner, Cyrus, Joey Styles, Anthony Perdue, Spyder Crowley, Johnny Blast, Ward and June, Brian Logan, Joey Morton, Jared Rottenberry, J.D. Rottenberry, Grandmasta Sexxy, Scotty Too Hotty, Danny Cameron, Heather Lyons, Jamie Hypes, Leah Hypes, Michael Williams, Brandon Williams, Last year's French chick, This years french chick, Kelly Howell, Jessica Stamper, Hannah Stamper, Ryan Stamper, Jeff Burnopp, Caressa Barton, her older sister who was cool, Sarah Kinder, Sarah Stevenson, Stephanie Walk, Steve Matthews, Thomas White, Arron Combs, Ben and Jerry, Daniel Mounts, the guy who "raped" Elisha Cuppett, Shannon Stewart, Mike Haddox, the Puppies, Ulysses, GENERAL LEE, KIT, David Hasslehoff, Jan Micheal Vincent, The guy in teh cartoon who turned into his car, the smurfs, the FRAGGLEs, Wendy Bray, Mario and Luigi, Sonic the Hedgehog, Walt Disney's cremated body, Pricess Di (in hell), JFK Jr., Hitler, Musolini, Castro, My Dad's French chick, Bret Hart, Owen Hart, Mike Meyers, Austin Powers, Wayne Cambell, Andy Kaufman, Tony Clifton, Ladka, Jerry "the King" Lawler, The cast of MTV'S "The State", Beth Littleford, Jon Stewart, Mo Rocca, Vance Degeneres, Steve Cobert, Jimmy Kimel, Ben Stein, Adam Corolla, Bill Clinton, His cock, Monica Lewinsky, Linda Tripp, Stephanie Flowers, Paula Jones, Tonya Harding, Nancy Kerrigan, Jeff Goloulee, Lou E. Dnagerously, Tom Petty, Mandy Moore, Britanny Spears, Christina Agulera, Backstreet Boys, N'SYNC, 98 Degrees, 3 count, Fozzy Osbourne, Ozzy Osbourne, Ozzie Osborune, Rob Zombie, Phil Anselmo, Dimebag Darrel, Vinnie Paul, Rex, Waylon Jennings, Wille Nelson, Johnny Cash, Kris Kristopherson, Yoko Ono, Fred Durst, The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, CREAM, Aerosmith, KISS, 80's KISS, Reunited KISS, Wendy bray,Flotsam and Jetsom, Metallica, Metallica w/out Cliff, AC/DC, Motley Crue, Poison, Unskinny Rose, C.C. Deville, Ford Motor COmpany, Steve Mother-fucking Polychronopolous, Adam Sandler, the Chrysler Corp, Every 1969 Dodge Chager every built (particulalry ones painted orange), Oldmobiles, Geos, Breyers Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream, Nicole Johnson, Nicole Perry, Nicole Thompson, Nicole Artrip, Nicole Sullivan, Nicole Baurer,
Nicole-(ous) Cage, Danny Bonaducci, Leif Garret, Donny Osmond, Marie Osmond, Tommy Hilfigger, Wendy Bray,FUBU, Levi, Lee, Wendy's resturaunt chain, niggers everywhere, all the fags, Jews, spics, chinks, japs, honkies, wetbacks, Nazi's, The Axis Powers, No Doubt, Sean Gurtis, Bush, Silverchair, Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Pearl Necklace, Pearl Drums, Pearl S. Buck, Pearly Bowman, Eric Estrada, Every car every blown up on TV or in a cool movie, Arnold Shwartzenager, That skinny bitch off Dateline he's married to, Jane Pauley, Stone Phillips, Tom Brokaw, Dan Rather, Peter Jennings, My insanlely large cock, Bryant Gumball, Katie Kouric, Willard Scott, Al Roker, Matt Lauer, Ronald McDonald, Grimmace, the Hamburgler, Birdie, Mayor McCheese, Bogey, Pammy, Rick, Scott Steiner, Drizzt Do'Urden, Elminister, the Polterguist, the Exorcist, Linda Blair, the Blair Witch, Heather Donahue, Phil Donahue, Rosie O'donnel, Oprah, Harpo Productions, Wendy Bray,Happy Madison Productions, David Spade, Dana Carvey, The 1984 Indianpolis Colts, Garth Algar, The Church Lady, Ross Perot, Micheal Ducockass,
Saddam Hussaine, Macanudo Cigars, Allsop Mousepads, Value Jet, Pan-Am flight 109 over Lockerby Scotland, George Clinton and Parlamental Funk, All the transvestites of the world, all of the transvestites removed penises, Lesbians, Jim Carrey, Ace Ventura, The Cable Guy, Fake Andy Kaufman, Rubberface, Lloyd Christmas, Fender Guitars, Gibson Guitars, Wendy Bray, Les Paul, Leo Fender, Marshall Amplifiers, Michael Jackson, Iron Maiden, Black Sabbath, Matt Glover, All the members of The Razor Blade Cult, Lloyd Bridges, Beau Bridges, Bea Arthur, Estelle Getty, Tim Allen, Abe Lincoln, The hot version of Sigourney Weaver, Al Snow, Al Gets, Al Yankovic, Allen Thick, Dick Clark, Andy Rooney, Andy Rickter, Conan O'Brien, Roger Anderson, Frank Parker, Tori Amos, Jewel, Alex Trebek, Tori Wilson, Pat Sajak, Banjo Kazzooie, Twisted Metal 4, Doink the Clown, Pamela Anderson Lee, Tommy Lee, Alyssa Milano, Wendy Bray,Beth Hash, Ice Cube, Ice Tea, Vanilla Ice, M.C. Hammer, Villanos 1 through 42, Lenny Lane, Lodi, Tommy Orion, Billy Sadler, Benjamin Nyetanyahoo, Lolita Davidovich, Carnie Wilson, Indiana Jones, Han Solo, Luke Skywalker, James T. Kirk, Pubic hair spong, Barney the dinosaur, Big Bird, Snuffallunfagus, Will Smith, Tupac, Puff daddy, Pistacios Nuts, Mr. Peanut, Mr. T, Mr. Belding, Tweek and Craig, Zakk Wylde, Zack Morris, A.C. Slater, Kelly Capowski, Lisa Turtle, Screech, Jesse Spano, Carlos Santana, Wendy Bray, James Hettfield, Lars Ulrich, Kirk Hammet, Jason Newsted, Ralph Lauren, Ralph, Ronald Reagan, Jimmy Carter, George Bush, George Thorogood, David Arquette, Mariah Carey's Tits and Ass, The girl from Disc Jockey with perfect Tits and Ass, The all around hot girl from Sunglass Hut, The woman in Leopard Skin selling copper, The dudes that sell hoods, Tommmy Dreamer, all the guys at Nascar HQ, Tree Hugging Hippie Store, Dip N Dots, KISS dude at Spencers, Carie Worley, David at Kay Bee, Mindboggle, Silent Scope, Tyler Winkler, Henry Winkler, The Fonz, Jonie and Chachie, Richie Cunningham, Scott Bayo, Mel Saunders, Dustin Hoffman, Jack Nickelson, Hal Sparks, Mel Gibson, Bruce Willis, Chuck Norris, Tom Arnold, Walker,Texas Ranger, Randy Rhoads, Suzzanne Somers, Tom Selleck, Magnum P.I., Bert Reynolds, The cast of Riptide, Captain Winkie, Ben Folds Five, Steve Bushemi, Quentin Tarantino, Harvey Kytel, Penis pistol from duck til dawn, Mark Callaway, Salma Hayek, Jennifer Lopez, Daisey Fuetes, CATHERINE-ZETA-JONES, JENNY McCARTHY, Dennis Rodman, CARMAN ELECTRA, Denise Richards, Terri Runnels, Tori, Debra, Ivory, Chyna, Rena Mero, The chick with Black hair that was perfect, chick from Ames, Wendy Bray, Grace Slick, Jefferson Airplane, Clarence "the Fire Breathing Negro", Trojan Man, Julius Ceasar, CALIGULA, Stanley Kubrick, Oliver Stone, JFK, Jackie O, Steven Spielberg, Rob Sneider, George Lucas, Jeremy McGrath, Tony Hawk, Nick, Ryan, Roby and Tyler, Jergens Lotion, Hugo Boss, Squave, 12 dollar shampoo, Dave's Brush, David loves Miss Congeniality, David Horowitz...The Jew! He likes to watch us masterbate and he goes: "Splat splooo slooop" all over us, Rico Squave, Mitch Headberg, Lewis Black, THE ROCK, The girl who wouldn't have gone to college if it weren't for her horse, Steve Austin, Hacksaw Jim Duggan, Shane Douglas, Steve Corino, Hewlett Packard, Bill Gates, Jack Victory, ROADKILL, Danny Doring, Electra, DAWN MARIE, Justin Credible, Lance Storm: From Calgary...Alberta, Canada, Vito Lagrassi, Mulletts all over the globe, Little Guido, BIG SAL E. GRAZIANO, Tracy Smothers, Make-out fest 1986, Jerry Lynn, Spike Dudley, Mike Awesome, Masato Tanaka, Masahiro Chono, Yoshihiro Tajiri, The Great Muta, g Fresh, INDIANS from CANNIBAL THE MUSICAL, ALFRED PACKER, Juan Swartz, SCHWAN, Humphries, Trey Parker, Matt Stone, Meatloaf, Barbara Streisand, Dale Earnhardt,George Carlin, Jose Canseco, Cream Boxed Sets, THAT LOVELY, LOVELY POETRY BOOK, and of course, PROVIDENCE!
Merry Christmas to:





Richard Donald Underwood III
UNCLE David Setliff! ( The accountant )
Jessyca Hope Blankenship
Melissa, Eve, Foster, Brandi, Travis Ray Cole, Wes, The bartender's Ass, Christina, Terry, Culver,Mick Foley, Scruggs, Meachum, Shott, Stonestreet, WENDY BRAY, Burgess, Christen Carper, Jodi Taylor, Elisha Cuppett, Stephanie Fowler, Amanda Cochran, Charles Bently, John Henson, Chris and Beth Henry, Mr. Godfrey, Mr. Bourne, Mr. Hankey, Kenny, Kyle, Cartman, Stan, Beavis, Butt-head, Bo Duke, Luke Duke, Daisy, Uncle Jessie, Rosco P. Colet,rain, Boss Hogg, The 1988 Oakland A's, Droz, Jesus, Satan, Enus, Christopher Walken, Keith Richards, Eric Clapton, Ginger Baker, Jack Bruce, Jeff Beck, Jimmy Page, Joe F. Perry, DMX, ODB, Ja-Rule, Paul Stanley, Gene Simmons, Peter Criss, ACE FREHLEY, Bruce Kulick, Vinnie Vincent, Eric Carr, Eric Singer, Jessica Comer, Barry Dillon, Bigger Thomas, Jared Barker, Shawn Michaels, Jericho, SABU, RVD, Brandy Bagar, Paige Mustard, BROOKE BOURNE, Matthew Wooten, Lala Wooten, James Richard Wooten, Tammy Underwood, Richard Underwood Jr., T-Bone, Cooter, Effie Epperson, Bob Epperson, the one armed guy who hangs around downtown, Thomas J. Whitmore, Bruce Raven, Wedny Bray,Drake Calloway, Stephanie Ballargin (?), Pete, the guys at Anheiser-Busch, Jack Daniels, Jim Bean, Joel "whether at home or here in Dayton the women are watchin me and maturbatin" Gertner, Cyrus, Joey Styles, Anthony Perdue, Spyder Crowley, Johnny Blast, Ward and June, Brian Logan, Joey Morton, Jared Rottenberry, J.D. Rottenberry, Grandmasta Sexxy, Scotty Too Hotty, Danny Cameron, Heather Lyons, Jamie Hypes, Leah Hypes, Michael Williams, Brandon Williams, Last year's French chick, This years french chick, Kelly Howell, Jessica Stamper, Hannah Stamper, Ryan Stamper, Jeff Burnopp, Caressa Barton, her older sister who was cool, Sarah Kinder, Sarah Stevenson, Stephanie Walk, Steve Matthews, Thomas White, Arron Combs, Ben and Jerry, Daniel Mounts, the guy who "raped" Elisha Cuppett, Shannon Stewart, Mike Haddox, the Puppies, Ulysses, GENERAL LEE, KIT, David Hasslehoff, Jan Micheal Vincent, The guy in teh cartoon who turned into his car, the smurfs, the FRAGGLEs, Wendy Bray, Mario and Luigi, Sonic the Hedgehog, Walt Disney's cremated body, Pricess Di (in hell), JFK Jr., Hitler, Musolini, Castro, My Dad's French chick, Bret Hart, Owen Hart, Mike Meyers, Austin Powers, Wayne Cambell, Andy Kaufman, Tony Clifton, Ladka, Jerry "the King" Lawler, The cast of MTV'S "The State", Beth Littleford, Jon Stewart, Mo Rocca, Vance Degeneres, Steve Cobert, Jimmy Kimel, Ben Stein, Adam Corolla, Bill Clinton, His cock, Monica Lewinsky, Linda Tripp, Stephanie Flowers, Paula Jones, Tonya Harding, Nancy Kerrigan, Jeff Goloulee, Lou E. Dnagerously, Tom Petty, Mandy Moore, Britanny Spears, Christina Agulera, Backstreet Boys, N'SYNC, 98 Degrees, 3 count, Fozzy Osbourne, Ozzy Osbourne, Ozzie Osborune, Rob Zombie, Phil Anselmo, Dimebag Darrel, Vinnie Paul, Rex, Waylon Jennings, Wille Nelson, Johnny Cash, Kris Kristopherson, Yoko Ono, Fred Durst, The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, CREAM, Aerosmith, KISS, 80's KISS, Reunited KISS, Wendy bray,Flotsam and Jetsom, Metallica, Metallica w/out Cliff, AC/DC, Motley Crue, Poison, Unskinny Rose, C.C. Deville, Ford Motor COmpany, Steve Mother-fucking Polychronopolous, Adam Sandler, the Chrysler Corp, Every 1969 Dodge Chager every built (particulalry ones painted orange), Oldmobiles, Geos, Breyers Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream, Nicole Johnson, Nicole Perry, Nicole Thompson, Nicole Artrip, Nicole Sullivan, Nicole Baurer,
Nicole-(ous) Cage, Danny Bonaducci, Leif Garret, Donny Osmond, Marie Osmond, Tommy Hilfigger, Wendy Bray,FUBU, Levi, Lee, Wendy's resturaunt chain, niggers everywhere, all the fags, Jews, spics, chinks, japs, honkies, wetbacks, Nazi's, The Axis Powers, No Doubt, Sean Gurtis, Bush, Silverchair, Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Pearl Necklace, Pearl Drums, Pearl S. Buck, Pearly Bowman, Eric Estrada, Every car every blown up on TV or in a cool movie, Arnold Shwartzenager, That skinny bitch off Dateline he's married to, Jane Pauley, Stone Phillips, Tom Brokaw, Dan Rather, Peter Jennings, My insanlely large cock, Bryant Gumball, Katie Kouric, Willard Scott, Al Roker, Matt Lauer, Ronald McDonald, Grimmace, the Hamburgler, Birdie, Mayor McCheese, Bogey, Pammy, Rick, Scott Steiner, Drizzt Do'Urden, Elminister, the Polterguist, the Exorcist, Linda Blair, the Blair Witch, Heather Donahue, Phil Donahue, Rosie O'donnel, Oprah, Harpo Productions, Wendy Bray,Happy Madison Productions, David Spade, Dana Carvey, The 1984 Indianpolis Colts, Garth Algar, The Church Lady, Ross Perot, Micheal Ducockass,
Saddam Hussaine, Macanudo Cigars, Allsop Mousepads, Value Jet, Pan-Am flight 109 over Lockerby Scotland, George Clinton and Parlamental Funk, All the transvestites of the world, all of the transvestites removed penises, Lesbians, Jim Carrey, Ace Ventura, The Cable Guy, Fake Andy Kaufman, Rubberface, Lloyd Christmas, Fender Guitars, Gibson Guitars, Wendy Bray, Les Paul, Leo Fender, Marshall Amplifiers, Michael Jackson, Iron Maiden, Black Sabbath, Matt Glover, All the members of The Razor Blade Cult, Lloyd Bridges, Beau Bridges, Bea Arthur, Estelle Getty, Tim Allen, Abe Lincoln, The hot version of Sigourney Weaver, Al Snow, Al Gets, Al Yankovic, Allen Thick, Dick Clark, Andy Rooney, Andy Rickter, Conan O'Brien, Roger Anderson, Frank Parker, Tori Amos, Jewel, Alex Trebek, Tori Wilson, Pat Sajak, Banjo Kazzooie, Twisted Metal 4, Doink the Clown, Pamela Anderson Lee, Tommy Lee, Alyssa Milano, Wendy Bray,Beth Hash, Ice Cube, Ice Tea, Vanilla Ice, M.C. Hammer, Villanos 1 through 42, Lenny Lane, Lodi, Tommy Orion, Billy Sadler, Benjamin Nyetanyahoo, Lolita Davidovich, Carnie Wilson, Indiana Jones, Han Solo, Luke Skywalker, James T. Kirk, Pubic hair spong, Barney the dinosaur, Big Bird, Snuffallunfagus, Will Smith, Tupac, Puff daddy, Pistacios Nuts, Mr. Peanut, Mr. T, Mr. Belding, Tweek and Craig, Zakk Wylde, Zack Morris, A.C. Slater, Kelly Capowski, Lisa Turtle, Screech, Jesse Spano, Carlos Santana, Wendy Bray, James Hettfield, Lars Ulrich, Kirk Hammet, Jason Newsted, Ralph Lauren, Ralph, Ronald Reagan, Jimmy Carter, George Bush, George Thorogood, David Arquette, Mariah Carey's Tits and Ass, The girl from Disc Jockey with perfect Tits and Ass, The all around hot girl from Sunglass Hut, The woman in Leopard Skin selling copper, The dudes that sell hoods, Tommmy Dreamer, all the guys at Nascar HQ, Tree Hugging Hippie Store, Dip N Dots, KISS dude at Spencers, Carie Worley, David at Kay Bee, Mindboggle, Silent Scope, Tyler Winkler, Henry Winkler, The Fonz, Jonie and Chachie, Richie Cunningham, Scott Bayo, Mel Saunders, Dustin Hoffman, Jack Nickelson, Hal Sparks, Mel Gibson, Bruce Willis, Chuck Norris, Tom Arnold, Walker,Texas Ranger, Randy Rhoads, Suzzanne Somers, Tom Selleck, Magnum P.I., Bert Reynolds, The cast of Riptide, Captain Winkie, Ben Folds Five, Steve Bushemi, Quentin Tarantino, Harvey Kytel, Penis pistol from duck til dawn, Mark Callaway, Salma Hayek, Jennifer Lopez, Daisey Fuetes, CATHERINE-ZETA-JONES, JENNY McCARTHY, Dennis Rodman, CARMAN ELECTRA, Denise Richards, Terri Runnels, Tori, Debra, Ivory, Chyna, Rena Mero, The chick with Black hair that was perfect, chick from Ames, Wendy Bray, Grace Slick, Jefferson Airplane, Clarence "the Fire Breathing Negro", Trojan Man, Julius Ceasar, CALIGULA, Stanley Kubrick, Oliver Stone, JFK, Jackie O, Steven Spielberg, Rob Sneider, George Lucas, Jeremy McGrath, Tony Hawk, Nick, Ryan, Roby and Tyler, Jergens Lotion, Hugo Boss, Squave, 12 dollar shampoo, Dave's Brush, David loves Miss Congeniality, David Horowitz...The Jew! He likes to watch us masterbate and he goes: "Splat splooo slooop" all over us, Rico Squave, Mitch Headberg, Lewis Black, THE ROCK, The girl who wouldn't have gone to college if it weren't for her horse, Steve Austin, Hacksaw Jim Duggan, Shane Douglas, Steve Corino, Hewlett Packard, Bill Gates, Jack Victory, ROADKILL, Danny Doring, Electra, DAWN MARIE, Justin Credible, Lance Storm: From Calgary...Alberta, Canada, Vito Lagrassi, Mulletts all over the globe, Little Guido, BIG SAL E. GRAZIANO, Tracy Smothers, Make-out fest 1986, Jerry Lynn, Spike Dudley, Mike Awesome, Masato Tanaka, Masahiro Chono, Yoshihiro Tajiri, The Great Muta, g Fresh, INDIANS from CANNIBAL THE MUSICAL, ALFRED PACKER, Juan Swartz, SCHWAN, Humphries, Trey Parker, Matt Stone, Meatloaf, Barbara Streisand, Dale Earnhardt,George Carlin, Jose Canseco, Cream Boxed Sets, THAT LOVELY, LOVELY POETRY BOOK, and of course, PROVIDENCE!
Merry Christmas to:





Richard Donald Underwood III
UNCLE David Setliff! ( The accountant )
Jessyca Hope Blankenship
Melissa, Eve, Foster, Brandi, Travis Ray Cole, Wes, The bartender's Ass, Christina, Terry, Culver,Mick Foley, Scruggs, Meachum, Shott, Stonestreet, WENDY BRAY, Burgess, Christen Carper, Jodi Taylor, Elisha Cuppett, Stephanie Fowler, Amanda Cochran, Charles Bently, John Henson, Chris and Beth Henry, Mr. Godfrey, Mr. Bourne, Mr. Hankey, Kenny, Kyle, Cartman, Stan, Beavis, Butt-head, Bo Duke, Luke Duke, Daisy, Uncle Jessie, Rosco P. Colet,rain, Boss Hogg, The 1988 Oakland A's, Droz, Jesus, Satan, Enus, Christopher Walken, Keith Richards, Eric Clapton, Ginger Baker, Jack Bruce, Jeff Beck, Jimmy Page, Joe F. Perry, DMX, ODB, Ja-Rule, Paul Stanley, Gene Simmons, Peter Criss, ACE FREHLEY, Bruce Kulick, Vinnie Vincent, Eric Carr, Eric Singer, Jessica Comer, Barry Dillon, Bigger Thomas, Jared Barker, Shawn Michaels, Jericho, SABU, RVD, Brandy Bagar, Paige Mustard, BROOKE BOURNE, Matthew Wooten, Lala Wooten, James Richard Wooten, Tammy Underwood, Richard Underwood Jr., T-Bone, Cooter, Effie Epperson, Bob Epperson, the one armed guy who hangs around downtown, Thomas J. Whitmore, Bruce Raven, Wedny Bray,Drake Calloway, Stephanie Ballargin (?), Pete, the guys at Anheiser-Busch, Jack Daniels, Jim Bean, Joel "whether at home or here in Dayton the women are watchin me and maturbatin" Gertner, Cyrus, Joey Styles, Anthony Perdue, Spyder Crowley, Johnny Blast, Ward and June, Brian Logan, Joey Morton, Jared Rottenberry, J.D. Rottenberry, Grandmasta Sexxy, Scotty Too Hotty, Danny Cameron, Heather Lyons, Jamie Hypes, Leah Hypes, Michael Williams, Brandon Williams, Last year's French chick, This years french chick, Kelly Howell, Jessica Stamper, Hannah Stamper, Ryan Stamper, Jeff Burnopp, Caressa Barton, her older sister who was cool, Sarah Kinder, Sarah Stevenson, Stephanie Walk, Steve Matthews, Thomas White, Arron Combs, Ben and Jerry, Daniel Mounts, the guy who "raped" Elisha Cuppett, Shannon Stewart, Mike Haddox, the Puppies, Ulysses, GENERAL LEE, KIT, David Hasslehoff, Jan Micheal Vincent, The guy in teh cartoon who turned into his car, the smurfs, the FRAGGLEs, Wendy Bray, Mario and Luigi, Sonic the Hedgehog, Walt Disney's cremated body, Pricess Di (in hell), JFK Jr., Hitler, Musolini, Castro, My Dad's French chick, Bret Hart, Owen Hart, Mike Meyers, Austin Powers, Wayne Cambell, Andy Kaufman, Tony Clifton, Ladka, Jerry "the King" Lawler, The cast of MTV'S "The State", Beth Littleford, Jon Stewart, Mo Rocca, Vance Degeneres, Steve Cobert, Jimmy Kimel, Ben Stein, Adam Corolla, Bill Clinton, His cock, Monica Lewinsky, Linda Tripp, Stephanie Flowers, Paula Jones, Tonya Harding, Nancy Kerrigan, Jeff Goloulee, Lou E. Dnagerously, Tom Petty, Mandy Moore, Britanny Spears, Christina Agulera, Backstreet Boys, N'SYNC, 98 Degrees, 3 count, Fozzy Osbourne, Ozzy Osbourne, Ozzie Osborune, Rob Zombie, Phil Anselmo, Dimebag Darrel, Vinnie Paul, Rex, Waylon Jennings, Wille Nelson, Johnny Cash, Kris Kristopherson, Yoko Ono, Fred Durst, The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, CREAM, Aerosmith, KISS, 80's KISS, Reunited KISS, Wendy bray,Flotsam and Jetsom, Metallica, Metallica w/out Cliff, AC/DC, Motley Crue, Poison, Unskinny Rose, C.C. Deville, Ford Motor COmpany, Steve Mother-fucking Polychronopolous, Adam Sandler, the Chrysler Corp, Every 1969 Dodge Chager every built (particulalry ones painted orange), Oldmobiles, Geos, Breyers Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream, Nicole Johnson, Nicole Perry, Nicole Thompson, Nicole Artrip, Nicole Sullivan, Nicole Baurer,
Nicole-(ous) Cage, Danny Bonaducci, Leif Garret, Donny Osmond, Marie Osmond, Tommy Hilfigger, Wendy Bray,FUBU, Levi, Lee, Wendy's resturaunt chain, niggers everywhere, all the fags, Jews, spics, chinks, japs, honkies, wetbacks, Nazi's, The Axis Powers, No Doubt, Sean Gurtis, Bush, Silverchair, Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Pearl Necklace, Pearl Drums, Pearl S. Buck, Pearly Bowman, Eric Estrada, Every car every blown up on TV or in a cool movie, Arnold Shwartzenager, That skinny bitch off Dateline he's married to, Jane Pauley, Stone Phillips, Tom Brokaw, Dan Rather, Peter Jennings, My insanlely large cock, Bryant Gumball, Katie Kouric, Willard Scott, Al Roker, Matt Lauer, Ronald McDonald, Grimmace, the Hamburgler, Birdie, Mayor McCheese, Bogey, Pammy, Rick, Scott Steiner, Drizzt Do'Urden, Elminister, the Polterguist, the Exorcist, Linda Blair, the Blair Witch, Heather Donahue, Phil Donahue, Rosie O'donnel, Oprah, Harpo Productions, Wendy Bray,Happy Madison Productions, David Spade, Dana Carvey, The 1984 Indianpolis Colts, Garth Algar, The Church Lady, Ross Perot, Micheal Ducockass,
Saddam Hussaine, Macanudo Cigars, Allsop Mousepads, Value Jet, Pan-Am flight 109 over Lockerby Scotland, George Clinton and Parlamental Funk, All the transvestites of the world, all of the transvestites removed penises, Lesbians, Jim Carrey, Ace Ventura, The Cable Guy, Fake Andy Kaufman, Rubberface, Lloyd Christmas, Fender Guitars, Gibson Guitars, Wendy Bray, Les Paul, Leo Fender, Marshall Amplifiers, Michael Jackson, Iron Maiden, Black Sabbath, Matt Glover, All the members of The Razor Blade Cult, Lloyd Bridges, Beau Bridges, Bea Arthur, Estelle Getty, Tim Allen, Abe Lincoln, The hot version of Sigourney Weaver, Al Snow, Al Gets, Al Yankovic, Allen Thick, Dick Clark, Andy Rooney, Andy Rickter, Conan O'Brien, Roger Anderson, Frank Parker, Tori Amos, Jewel, Alex Trebek, Tori Wilson, Pat Sajak, Banjo Kazzooie, Twisted Metal 4, Doink the Clown, Pamela Anderson Lee, Tommy Lee, Alyssa Milano, Wendy Bray,Beth Hash, Ice Cube, Ice Tea, Vanilla Ice, M.C. Hammer, Villanos 1 through 42, Lenny Lane, Lodi, Tommy Orion, Billy Sadler, Benjamin Nyetanyahoo, Lolita Davidovich, Carnie Wilson, Indiana Jones, Han Solo, Luke Skywalker, James T. Kirk, Pubic hair spong, Barney the dinosaur, Big Bird, Snuffallunfagus, Will Smith, Tupac, Puff daddy, Pistacios Nuts, Mr. Peanut, Mr. T, Mr. Belding, Tweek and Craig, Zakk Wylde, Zack Morris, A.C. Slater, Kelly Capowski, Lisa Turtle, Screech, Jesse Spano, Carlos Santana, Wendy Bray, James Hettfield, Lars Ulrich, Kirk Hammet, Jason Newsted, Ralph Lauren, Ralph, Ronald Reagan, Jimmy Carter, George Bush, George Thorogood, David Arquette, Mariah Carey's Tits and Ass, The girl from Disc Jockey with perfect Tits and Ass, The all around hot girl from Sunglass Hut, The woman in Leopard Skin selling copper, The dudes that sell hoods, Tommmy Dreamer, all the guys at Nascar HQ, Tree Hugging Hippie Store, Dip N Dots, KISS dude at Spencers, Carie Worley, David at Kay Bee, Mindboggle, Silent Scope, Tyler Winkler, Henry Winkler, The Fonz, Jonie and Chachie, Richie Cunningham, Scott Bayo, Mel Saunders, Dustin Hoffman, Jack Nickelson, Hal Sparks, Mel Gibson, Bruce Willis, Chuck Norris, Tom Arnold, Walker,Texas Ranger, Randy Rhoads, Suzzanne Somers, Tom Selleck, Magnum P.I., Bert Reynolds, The cast of Riptide, Captain Winkie, Ben Folds Five, Steve Bushemi, Quentin Tarantino, Harvey Kytel, Penis pistol from duck til dawn, Mark Callaway, Salma Hayek, Jennifer Lopez, Daisey Fuetes, CATHERINE-ZETA-JONES, JENNY McCARTHY, Dennis Rodman, CARMAN ELECTRA, Denise Richards, Terri Runnels, Tori, Debra, Ivory, Chyna, Rena Mero, The chick with Black hair that was perfect, chick from Ames, Wendy Bray, Grace Slick, Jefferson Airplane, Clarence "the Fire Breathing Negro", Trojan Man, Julius Ceasar, CALIGULA, Stanley Kubrick, Oliver Stone, JFK, Jackie O, Steven Spielberg, Rob Sneider, George Lucas, Jeremy McGrath, Tony Hawk, Nick, Ryan, Roby and Tyler, Jergens Lotion, Hugo Boss, Squave, 12 dollar shampoo, Dave's Brush, David loves Miss Congeniality, David Horowitz...The Jew! He likes to watch us masterbate and he goes: "Splat splooo slooop" all over us, Rico Squave, Mitch Headberg, Lewis Black, THE ROCK, The girl who wouldn't have gone to college if it weren't for her horse, Steve Austin, Hacksaw Jim Duggan, Shane Douglas, Steve Corino, Hewlett Packard, Bill Gates, Jack Victory, ROADKILL, Danny Doring, Electra, DAWN MARIE, Justin Credible, Lance Storm: From Calgary...Alberta, Canada, Vito Lagrassi, Mulletts all over the globe, Little Guido, BIG SAL E. GRAZIANO, Tracy Smothers, Make-out fest 1986, Jerry Lynn, Spike Dudley, Mike Awesome, Masato Tanaka, Masahiro Chono, Yoshihiro Tajiri, The Great Muta, g Fresh, INDIANS from CANNIBAL THE MUSICAL, ALFRED PACKER, Juan Swartz, SCHWAN, Humphries, Trey Parker, Matt Stone, Meatloaf, Barbara Streisand, Dale Earnhardt,George Carlin, Jose Canseco, Cream Boxed Sets, THAT LOVELY, LOVELY POETRY BOOK, and of course, PROVIDENCE!Merry Christmas to:





Richard Donald Underwood III
UNCLE David Setliff! ( The accountant )
Jessyca Hope Blankenship
Melissa, Eve, Foster, Brandi, Travis Ray Cole, Wes, The bartender's Ass, Christina, Terry, Culver,Mick Foley, Scruggs, Meachum, Shott, Stonestreet, WENDY BRAY, Burgess, Christen Carper, Jodi Taylor, Elisha Cuppett, Stephanie Fowler, Amanda Cochran, Charles Bently, John Henson, Chris and Beth Henry, Mr. Godfrey, Mr. Bourne, Mr. Hankey, Kenny, Kyle, Cartman, Stan, Beavis, Butt-head, Bo Duke, Luke Duke, Daisy, Uncle Jessie, Rosco P. Colet,rain, Boss Hogg, The 1988 Oakland A's, Droz, Jesus, Satan, Enus, Christopher Walken, Keith Richards, Eric Clapton, Ginger Baker, Jack Bruce, Jeff Beck, Jimmy Page, Joe F. Perry, DMX, ODB, Ja-Rule, Paul Stanley, Gene Simmons, Peter Criss, ACE FREHLEY, Bruce Kulick, Vinnie Vincent, Eric Carr, Eric Singer, Jessica Comer, Barry Dillon, Bigger Thomas, Jared Barker, Shawn Michaels, Jericho, SABU, RVD, Brandy Bagar, Paige Mustard, BROOKE BOURNE, Matthew Wooten, Lala Wooten, James Richard Wooten, Tammy Underwood, Richard Underwood Jr., T-Bone, Cooter, Effie Epperson, Bob Epperson, the one armed guy who hangs around downtown, Thomas J. Whitmore, Bruce Raven, Wedny Bray,Drake Calloway, Stephanie Ballargin (?), Pete, the guys at Anheiser-Busch, Jack Daniels, Jim Bean, Joel "whether at home or here in Dayton the women are watchin me and maturbatin" Gertner, Cyrus, Joey Styles, Anthony Perdue, Spyder Crowley, Johnny Blast, Ward and June, Brian Logan, Joey Morton, Jared Rottenberry, J.D. Rottenberry, Grandmasta Sexxy, Scotty Too Hotty, Danny Cameron, Heather Lyons, Jamie Hypes, Leah Hypes, Michael Williams, Brandon Williams, Last year's French chick, This years french chick, Kelly Howell, Jessica Stamper, Hannah Stamper, Ryan Stamper, Jeff Burnopp, Caressa Barton, her older sister who was cool, Sarah Kinder, Sarah Stevenson, Stephanie Walk, Steve Matthews, Thomas White, Arron Combs, Ben and Jerry, Daniel Mounts, the guy who "raped" Elisha Cuppett, Shannon Stewart, Mike Haddox, the Puppies, Ulysses, GENERAL LEE, KIT, David Hasslehoff, Jan Micheal Vincent, The guy in teh cartoon who turned into his car, the smurfs, the FRAGGLEs, Wendy Bray, Mario and Luigi, Sonic the Hedgehog, Walt Disney's cremated body, Pricess Di (in hell), JFK Jr., Hitler, Musolini, Castro, My Dad's French chick, Bret Hart, Owen Hart, Mike Meyers, Austin Powers, Wayne Cambell, Andy Kaufman, Tony Clifton, Ladka, Jerry "the King" Lawler, The cast of MTV'S "The State", Beth Littleford, Jon Stewart, Mo Rocca, Vance Degeneres, Steve Cobert, Jimmy Kimel, Ben Stein, Adam Corolla, Bill Clinton, His cock, Monica Lewinsky, Linda Tripp, Stephanie Flowers, Paula Jones, Tonya Harding, Nancy Kerrigan, Jeff Goloulee, Lou E. Dnagerously, Tom Petty, Mandy Moore, Britanny Spears, Christina Agulera, Backstreet Boys, N'SYNC, 98 Degrees, 3 count, Fozzy Osbourne, Ozzy Osbourne, Ozzie Osborune, Rob Zombie, Phil Anselmo, Dimebag Darrel, Vinnie Paul, Rex, Waylon Jennings, Wille Nelson, Johnny Cash, Kris Kristopherson, Yoko Ono, Fred Durst, The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, CREAM, Aerosmith, KISS, 80's KISS, Reunited KISS, Wendy bray,Flotsam and Jetsom, Metallica, Metallica w/out Cliff, AC/DC, Motley Crue, Poison, Unskinny Rose, C.C. Deville, Ford Motor COmpany, Steve Mother-fucking Polychronopolous, Adam Sandler, the Chrysler Corp, Every 1969 Dodge Chager every built (particulalry ones painted orange), Oldmobiles, Geos, Breyers Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream, Nicole Johnson, Nicole Perry, Nicole Thompson, Nicole Artrip, Nicole Sullivan, Nicole Baurer,
Nicole-(ous) Cage, Danny Bonaducci, Leif Garret, Donny Osmond, Marie Osmond, Tommy Hilfigger, Wendy Bray,FUBU, Levi, Lee, Wendy's resturaunt chain, niggers everywhere, all the fags, Jews, spics, chinks, japs, honkies, wetbacks, Nazi's, The Axis Powers, No Doubt, Sean Gurtis, Bush, Silverchair, Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Pearl Necklace, Pearl Drums, Pearl S. Buck, Pearly Bowman, Eric Estrada, Every car every blown up on TV or in a cool movie, Arnold Shwartzenager, That skinny bitch off Dateline he's married to, Jane Pauley, Stone Phillips, Tom Brokaw, Dan Rather, Peter Jennings, My insanlely large cock, Bryant Gumball, Katie Kouric, Willard Scott, Al Roker, Matt Lauer, Ronald McDonald, Grimmace, the Hamburgler, Birdie, Mayor McCheese, Bogey, Pammy, Rick, Scott Steiner, Drizzt Do'Urden, Elminister, the Polterguist, the Exorcist, Linda Blair, the Blair Witch, Heather Donahue, Phil Donahue, Rosie O'donnel, Oprah, Harpo Productions, Wendy Bray,Happy Madison Productions, David Spade, Dana Carvey, The 1984 Indianpolis Colts, Garth Algar, The Church Lady, Ross Perot, Micheal Ducockass,
Saddam Hussaine, Macanudo Cigars, Allsop Mousepads, Value Jet, Pan-Am flight 109 over Lockerby Scotland, George Clinton and Parlamental Funk, All the transvestites of the world, all of the transvestites removed penises, Lesbians, Jim Carrey, Ace Ventura, The Cable Guy, Fake Andy Kaufman, Rubberface, Lloyd Christmas, Fender Guitars, Gibson Guitars, Wendy Bray, Les Paul, Leo Fender, Marshall Amplifiers, Michael Jackson, Iron Maiden, Black Sabbath, Matt Glover, All the members of The Razor Blade Cult, Lloyd Bridges, Beau Bridges, Bea Arthur, Estelle Getty, Tim Allen, Abe Lincoln, The hot version of Sigourney Weaver, Al Snow, Al Gets, Al Yankovic, Allen Thick, Dick Clark, Andy Rooney, Andy Rickter, Conan O'Brien, Roger Anderson, Frank Parker, Tori Amos, Jewel, Alex Trebek, Tori Wilson, Pat Sajak, Banjo Kazzooie, Twisted Metal 4, Doink the Clown, Pamela Anderson Lee, Tommy Lee, Alyssa Milano, Wendy Bray,Beth Hash, Ice Cube, Ice Tea, Vanilla Ice, M.C. Hammer, Villanos 1 through 42, Lenny Lane, Lodi, Tommy Orion, Billy Sadler, Benjamin Nyetanyahoo, Lolita Davidovich, Carnie Wilson, Indiana Jones, Han Solo, Luke Skywalker, James T. Kirk, Pubic hair spong, Barney the dinosaur, Big Bird, Snuffallunfagus, Will Smith, Tupac, Puff daddy, Pistacios Nuts, Mr. Peanut, Mr. T, Mr. Belding, Tweek and Craig, Zakk Wylde, Zack Morris, A.C. Slater, Kelly Capowski, Lisa Turtle, Screech, Jesse Spano, Carlos Santana, Wendy Bray, James Hettfield, Lars Ulrich, Kirk Hammet, Jason Newsted, Ralph Lauren, Ralph, Ronald Reagan, Jimmy Carter, George Bush, George Thorogood, David Arquette, Mariah Carey's Tits and Ass, The girl from Disc Jockey with perfect Tits and Ass, The all around hot girl from Sunglass Hut, The woman in Leopard Skin selling copper, The dudes that sell hoods, Tommmy Dreamer, all the guys at Nascar HQ, Tree Hugging Hippie Store, Dip N Dots, KISS dude at Spencers, Carie Worley, David at Kay Bee, Mindboggle, Silent Scope, Tyler Winkler, Henry Winkler, The Fonz, Jonie and Chachie, Richie Cunningham, Scott Bayo, Mel Saunders, Dustin Hoffman, Jack Nickelson, Hal Sparks, Mel Gibson, Bruce Willis, Chuck Norris, Tom Arnold, Walker,Texas Ranger, Randy Rhoads, Suzzanne Somers, Tom Selleck, Magnum P.I., Bert Reynolds, The cast of Riptide, Captain Winkie, Ben Folds Five, Steve Bushemi, Quentin Tarantino, Harvey Kytel, Penis pistol from duck til dawn, Mark Callaway, Salma Hayek, Jennifer Lopez, Daisey Fuetes, CATHERINE-ZETA-JONES, JENNY McCARTHY, Dennis Rodman, CARMAN ELECTRA, Denise Richards, Terri Runnels, Tori, Debra, Ivory, Chyna, Rena Mero, The chick with Black hair that was perfect, chick from Ames, Wendy Bray, Grace Slick, Jefferson Airplane, Clarence "the Fire Breathing Negro", Trojan Man, Julius Ceasar, CALIGULA, Stanley Kubrick, Oliver Stone, JFK, Jackie O, Steven Spielberg, Rob Sneider, George Lucas, Jeremy McGrath, Tony Hawk, Nick, Ryan, Roby and Tyler, Jergens Lotion, Hugo Boss, Squave, 12 dollar shampoo, Dave's Brush, David loves Miss Congeniality, David Horowitz...The Jew! He likes to watch us masterbate and he goes: "Splat splooo slooop" all over us, Rico Squave, Mitch Headberg, Lewis Black, THE ROCK, The girl who wouldn't have gone to college if it weren't for her horse, Steve Austin, Hacksaw Jim Duggan, Shane Douglas, Steve Corino, Hewlett Packard, Bill Gates, Jack Victory, ROADKILL, Danny Doring, Electra, DAWN MARIE, Justin Credible, Lance Storm: From Calgary...Alberta, Canada, Vito Lagrassi, Mulletts all over the globe, Little Guido, BIG SAL E. GRAZIANO, Tracy Smothers, Make-out fest 1986, Jerry Lynn, Spike Dudley, Mike Awesome, Masato Tanaka, Masahiro Chono, Yoshihiro Tajiri, The Great Muta, g Fresh, INDIANS from CANNIBAL THE MUSICAL, ALFRED PACKER, Juan Swartz, SCHWAN, Humphries, Trey Parker, Matt Stone, Meatloaf, Barbara Streisand, Dale Earnhardt,George Carlin, Jose Canseco, Cream Boxed Sets, THAT LOVELY, LOVELY POETRY BOOK, and of course, PROVIDENCE!
Merry Christmas to:





Richard Donald Underwood III
UNCLE David Setliff! ( The accountant )
Jessyca Hope Blankenship
Melissa, Eve, Foster, Brandi, Travis Ray Cole, Wes, The bartender's Ass, Christina, Terry, Culver,Mick Foley, Scruggs, Meachum, Shott, Stonestreet, WENDY BRAY, Burgess, Christen Carper, Jodi Taylor, Elisha Cuppett, Stephanie Fowler, Amanda Cochran, Charles Bently, John Henson, Chris and Beth Henry, Mr. Godfrey, Mr. Bourne, Mr. Hankey, Kenny, Kyle, Cartman, Stan, Beavis, Butt-head, Bo Duke, Luke Duke, Daisy, Uncle Jessie, Rosco P. Colet,rain, Boss Hogg, The 1988 Oakland A's, Droz, Jesus, Satan, Enus, Christopher Walken, Keith Richards, Eric Clapton, Ginger Baker, Jack Bruce, Jeff Beck, Jimmy Page, Joe F. Perry, DMX, ODB, Ja-Rule, Paul Stanley, Gene Simmons, Peter Criss, ACE FREHLEY, Bruce Kulick, Vinnie Vincent, Eric Carr, Eric Singer, Jessica Comer, Barry Dillon, Bigger Thomas, Jared Barker, Shawn Michaels, Jericho, SABU, RVD, Brandy Bagar, Paige Mustard, BROOKE BOURNE, Matthew Wooten, Lala Wooten, James Richard Wooten, Tammy Underwood, Richard Underwood Jr., T-Bone, Cooter, Effie Epperson, Bob Epperson, the one armed guy who hangs around downtown, Thomas J. Whitmore, Bruce Raven, Wedny Bray,Drake Calloway, Stephanie Ballargin (?), Pete, the guys at Anheiser-Busch, Jack Daniels, Jim Bean, Joel "whether at home or here in Dayton the women are watchin me and maturbatin" Gertner, Cyrus, Joey Styles, Anthony Perdue, Spyder Crowley, Johnny Blast, Ward and June, Brian Logan, Joey Morton, Jared Rottenberry, J.D. Rottenberry, Grandmasta Sexxy, Scotty Too Hotty, Danny Cameron, Heather Lyons, Jamie Hypes, Leah Hypes, Michael Williams, Brandon Williams, Last year's French chick, This years french chick, Kelly Howell, Jessica Stamper, Hannah Stamper, Ryan Stamper, Jeff Burnopp, Caressa Barton, her older sister who was cool, Sarah Kinder, Sarah Stevenson, Stephanie Walk, Steve Matthews, Thomas White, Arron Combs, Ben and Jerry, Daniel Mounts, the guy who "raped" Elisha Cuppett, Shannon Stewart, Mike Haddox, the Puppies, Ulysses, GENERAL LEE, KIT, David Hasslehoff, Jan Micheal Vincent, The guy in teh cartoon who turned into his car, the smurfs, the FRAGGLEs, Wendy Bray, Mario and Luigi, Sonic the Hedgehog, Walt Disney's cremated body, Pricess Di (in hell), JFK Jr., Hitler, Musolini, Castro, My Dad's French chick, Bret Hart, Owen Hart, Mike Meyers, Austin Powers, Wayne Cambell, Andy Kaufman, Tony Clifton, Ladka, Jerry "the King" Lawler, The cast of MTV'S "The State", Beth Littleford, Jon Stewart, Mo Rocca, Vance Degeneres, Steve Cobert, Jimmy Kimel, Ben Stein, Adam Corolla, Bill Clinton, His cock, Monica Lewinsky, Linda Tripp, Stephanie Flowers, Paula Jones, Tonya Harding, Nancy Kerrigan, Jeff Goloulee, Lou E. Dnagerously, Tom Petty, Mandy Moore, Britanny Spears, Christina Agulera, Backstreet Boys, N'SYNC, 98 Degrees, 3 count, Fozzy Osbourne, Ozzy Osbourne, Ozzie Osborune, Rob Zombie, Phil Anselmo, Dimebag Darrel, Vinnie Paul, Rex, Waylon Jennings, Wille Nelson, Johnny Cash, Kris Kristopherson, Yoko Ono, Fred Durst, The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, CREAM, Aerosmith, KISS, 80's KISS, Reunited KISS, Wendy bray,Flotsam and Jetsom, Metallica, Metallica w/out Cliff, AC/DC, Motley Crue, Poison, Unskinny Rose, C.C. Deville, Ford Motor COmpany, Steve Mother-fucking Polychronopolous, Adam Sandler, the Chrysler Corp, Every 1969 Dodge Chager every built (particulalry ones painted orange), Oldmobiles, Geos, Breyers Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream, Nicole Johnson, Nicole Perry, Nicole Thompson, Nicole Artrip, Nicole Sullivan, Nicole Baurer,
Nicole-(ous) Cage, Danny Bonaducci, Leif Garret, Donny Osmond, Marie Osmond, Tommy Hilfigger, Wendy Bray,FUBU, Levi, Lee, Wendy's resturaunt chain, niggers everywhere, all the fags, Jews, spics, chinks, japs, honkies, wetbacks, Nazi's, The Axis Powers, No Doubt, Sean Gurtis, Bush, Silverchair, Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Pearl Necklace, Pearl Drums, Pearl S. Buck, Pearly Bowman, Eric Estrada, Every car every blown up on TV or in a cool movie, Arnold Shwartzenager, That skinny bitch off Dateline he's married to, Jane Pauley, Stone Phillips, Tom Brokaw, Dan Rather, Peter Jennings, My insanlely large cock, Bryant Gumball, Katie Kouric, Willard Scott, Al Roker, Matt Lauer, Ronald McDonald, Grimmace, the Hamburgler, Birdie, Mayor McCheese, Bogey, Pammy, Rick, Scott Steiner, Drizzt Do'Urden, Elminister, the Polterguist, the Exorcist, Linda Blair, the Blair Witch, Heather Donahue, Phil Donahue, Rosie O'donnel, Oprah, Harpo Productions, Wendy Bray,Happy Madison Productions, David Spade, Dana Carvey, The 1984 Indianpolis Colts, Garth Algar, The Church Lady, Ross Perot, Micheal Ducockass,
Saddam Hussaine, Macanudo Cigars, Allsop Mousepads, Value Jet, Pan-Am flight 109 over Lockerby Scotland, George Clinton and Parlamental Funk, All the transvestites of the world, all of the transvestites removed penises, Lesbians, Jim Carrey, Ace Ventura, The Cable Guy, Fake Andy Kaufman, Rubberface, Lloyd Christmas, Fender Guitars, Gibson Guitars, Wendy Bray, Les Paul, Leo Fender, Marshall Amplifiers, Michael Jackson, Iron Maiden, Black Sabbath, Matt Glover, All the members of The Razor Blade Cult, Lloyd Bridges, Beau Bridges, Bea Arthur, Estelle Getty, Tim Allen, Abe Lincoln, The hot version of Sigourney Weaver, Al Snow, Al Gets, Al Yankovic, Allen Thick, Dick Clark, Andy Rooney, Andy Rickter, Conan O'Brien, Roger Anderson, Frank Parker, Tori Amos, Jewel, Alex Trebek, Tori Wilson, Pat Sajak, Banjo Kazzooie, Twisted Metal 4, Doink the Clown, Pamela Anderson Lee, Tommy Lee, Alyssa Milano, Wendy Bray,Beth Hash, Ice Cube, Ice Tea, Vanilla Ice, M.C. Hammer, Villanos 1 through 42, Lenny Lane, Lodi, Tommy Orion, Billy Sadler, Benjamin Nyetanyahoo, Lolita Davidovich, Carnie Wilson, Indiana Jones, Han Solo, Luke Skywalker, James T. Kirk, Pubic hair spong, Barney the dinosaur, Big Bird, Snuffallunfagus, Will Smith, Tupac, Puff daddy, Pistacios Nuts, Mr. Peanut, Mr. T, Mr. Belding, Tweek and Craig, Zakk Wylde, Zack Morris, A.C. Slater, Kelly Capowski, Lisa Turtle, Screech, Jesse Spano, Carlos Santana, Wendy Bray, James Hettfield, Lars Ulrich, Kirk Hammet, Jason Newsted, Ralph Lauren, Ralph, Ronald Reagan, Jimmy Carter, George Bush, George Thorogood, David Arquette, Mariah Carey's Tits and Ass, The girl from Disc Jockey with perfect Tits and Ass, The all around hot girl from Sunglass Hut, The woman in Leopard Skin selling copper, The dudes that sell hoods, Tommmy Dreamer, all the guys at Nascar HQ, Tree Hugging Hippie Store, Dip N Dots, KISS dude at Spencers, Carie Worley, David at Kay Bee, Mindboggle, Silent Scope, Tyler Winkler, Henry Winkler, The Fonz, Jonie and Chachie, Richie Cunningham, Scott Bayo, Mel Saunders, Dustin Hoffman, Jack Nickelson, Hal Sparks, Mel Gibson, Bruce Willis, Chuck Norris, Tom Arnold, Walker,Texas Ranger, Randy Rhoads, Suzzanne Somers, Tom Selleck, Magnum P.I., Bert Reynolds, The cast of Riptide, Captain Winkie, Ben Folds Five, Steve Bushemi, Quentin Tarantino, Harvey Kytel, Penis pistol from duck til dawn, Mark Callaway, Salma Hayek, Jennifer Lopez, Daisey Fuetes, CATHERINE-ZETA-JONES, JENNY McCARTHY, Dennis Rodman, CARMAN ELECTRA, Denise Richards, Terri Runnels, Tori, Debra, Ivory, Chyna, Rena Mero, The chick with Black hair that was perfect, chick from Ames, Wendy Bray, Grace Slick, Jefferson Airplane, Clarence "the Fire Breathing Negro", Trojan Man, Julius Ceasar, CALIGULA, Stanley Kubrick, Oliver Stone, JFK, Jackie O, Steven Spielberg, Rob Sneider, George Lucas, Jeremy McGrath, Tony Hawk, Nick, Ryan, Roby and Tyler, Jergens Lotion, Hugo Boss, Squave, 12 dollar shampoo, Dave's Brush, David loves Miss Congeniality, David Horowitz...The Jew! He likes to watch us masterbate and he goes: "Splat splooo slooop" all over us, Rico Squave, Mitch Headberg, Lewis Black, THE ROCK, The girl who wouldn't have gone to college if it weren't for her horse, Steve Austin, Hacksaw Jim Duggan, Shane Douglas, Steve Corino, Hewlett Packard, Bill Gates, Jack Victory, ROADKILL, Danny Doring, Electra, DAWN MARIE, Justin Credible, Lance Storm: From Calgary...Alberta, Canada, Vito Lagrassi, Mulletts all over the globe, Little Guido, BIG SAL E. GRAZIANO, Tracy Smothers, Make-out fest 1986, Jerry Lynn, Spike Dudley, Mike Awesome, Masato Tanaka, Masahiro Chono, Yoshihiro Tajiri, The Great Muta, g Fresh, INDIANS from CANNIBAL THE MUSICAL, ALFRED PACKER, Juan Swartz, SCHWAN, Humphries, Trey Parker, Matt Stone, Meatloaf, Barbara Streisand, Dale Earnhardt,George Carlin, Jose Canseco, Cream Boxed Sets, THAT LOVELY, LOVELY POETRY BOOK, and of course, PROVIDENCE!
Merry Christmas to:





Richard Donald Underwood III
UNCLE David Setliff! ( The accountant )
Jessyca Hope Blankenship
Melissa, Eve, Foster, Brandi, Travis Ray Cole, Wes, The bartender's Ass, Christina, Terry, Culver,Mick Foley, Scruggs, Meachum, Shott, Stonestreet, WENDY BRAY, Burgess, Christen Carper, Jodi Taylor, Elisha Cuppett, Stephanie Fowler, Amanda Cochran, Charles Bently, John Henson, Chris and Beth Henry, Mr. Godfrey, Mr. Bourne, Mr. Hankey, Kenny, Kyle, Cartman, Stan, Beavis, Butt-head, Bo Duke, Luke Duke, Daisy, Uncle Jessie, Rosco P. Colet,rain, Boss Hogg, The 1988 Oakland A's, Droz, Jesus, Satan, Enus, Christopher Walken, Keith Richards, Eric Clapton, Ginger Baker, Jack Bruce, Jeff Beck, Jimmy Page, Joe F. Perry, DMX, ODB, Ja-Rule, Paul Stanley, Gene Simmons, Peter Criss, ACE FREHLEY, Bruce Kulick, Vinnie Vincent, Eric Carr, Eric Singer, Jessica Comer, Barry Dillon, Bigger Thomas, Jared Barker, Shawn Michaels, Jericho, SABU, RVD, Brandy Bagar, Paige Mustard, BROOKE BOURNE, Matthew Wooten, Lala Wooten, James Richard Wooten, Tammy Underwood, Richard Underwood Jr., T-Bone, Cooter, Effie Epperson, Bob Epperson, the one armed guy who hangs around downtown, Thomas J. Whitmore, Bruce Raven, Wedny Bray,Drake Calloway, Stephanie Ballargin (?), Pete, the guys at Anheiser-Busch, Jack Daniels, Jim Bean, Joel "whether at home or here in Dayton the women are watchin me and maturbatin" Gertner, Cyrus, Joey Styles, Anthony Perdue, Spyder Crowley, Johnny Blast, Ward and June, Brian Logan, Joey Morton, Jared Rottenberry, J.D. Rottenberry, Grandmasta Sexxy, Scotty Too Hotty, Danny Cameron, Heather Lyons, Jamie Hypes, Leah Hypes, Michael Williams, Brandon Williams, Last year's French chick, This years french chick, Kelly Howell, Jessica Stamper, Hannah Stamper, Ryan Stamper, Jeff Burnopp, Caressa Barton, her older sister who was cool, Sarah Kinder, Sarah Stevenson, Stephanie Walk, Steve Matthews, Thomas White, Arron Combs, Ben and Jerry, Daniel Mounts, the guy who "raped" Elisha Cuppett, Shannon Stewart, Mike Haddox, the Puppies, Ulysses, GENERAL LEE, KIT, David Hasslehoff, Jan Micheal Vincent, The guy in teh cartoon who turned into his car, the smurfs, the FRAGGLEs, Wendy Bray, Mario and Luigi, Sonic the Hedgehog, Walt Disney's cremated body, Pricess Di (in hell), JFK Jr., Hitler, Musolini, Castro, My Dad's French chick, Bret Hart, Owen Hart, Mike Meyers, Austin Powers, Wayne Cambell, Andy Kaufman, Tony Clifton, Ladka, Jerry "the King" Lawler, The cast of MTV'S "The State", Beth Littleford, Jon Stewart, Mo Rocca, Vance Degeneres, Steve Cobert, Jimmy Kimel, Ben Stein, Adam Corolla, Bill Clinton, His cock, Monica Lewinsky, Linda Tripp, Stephanie Flowers, Paula Jones, Tonya Harding, Nancy Kerrigan, Jeff Goloulee, Lou E. Dnagerously, Tom Petty, Mandy Moore, Britanny Spears, Christina Agulera, Backstreet Boys, N'SYNC, 98 Degrees, 3 count, Fozzy Osbourne, Ozzy Osbourne, Ozzie Osborune, Rob Zombie, Phil Anselmo, Dimebag Darrel, Vinnie Paul, Rex, Waylon Jennings, Wille Nelson, Johnny Cash, Kris Kristopherson, Yoko Ono, Fred Durst, The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, CREAM, Aerosmith, KISS, 80's KISS, Reunited KISS, Wendy bray,Flotsam and Jetsom, Metallica, Metallica w/out Cliff, AC/DC, Motley Crue, Poison, Unskinny Rose, C.C. Deville, Ford Motor COmpany, Steve Mother-fucking Polychronopolous, Adam Sandler, the Chrysler Corp, Every 1969 Dodge Chager every built (particulalry ones painted orange), Oldmobiles, Geos, Breyers Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream, Nicole Johnson, Nicole Perry, Nicole Thompson, Nicole Artrip, Nicole Sullivan, Nicole Baurer,
Nicole-(ous) Cage, Danny Bonaducci, Leif Garret, Donny Osmond, Marie Osmond, Tommy Hilfigger, Wendy Bray,FUBU, Levi, Lee, Wendy's resturaunt chain, niggers everywhere, all the fags, Jews, spics, chinks, japs, honkies, wetbacks, Nazi's, The Axis Powers, No Doubt, Sean Gurtis, Bush, Silverchair, Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Pearl Necklace, Pearl Drums, Pearl S. Buck, Pearly Bowman, Eric Estrada, Every car every blown up on TV or in a cool movie, Arnold Shwartzenager, That skinny bitch off Dateline he's married to, Jane Pauley, Stone Phillips, Tom Brokaw, Dan Rather, Peter Jennings, My insanlely large cock, Bryant Gumball, Katie Kouric, Willard Scott, Al Roker, Matt Lauer, Ronald McDonald, Grimmace, the Hamburgler, Birdie, Mayor McCheese, Bogey, Pammy, Rick, Scott Steiner, Drizzt Do'Urden, Elminister, the Polterguist, the Exorcist, Linda Blair, the Blair Witch, Heather Donahue, Phil Donahue, Rosie O'donnel, Oprah, Harpo Productions, Wendy Bray,Happy Madison Productions, David Spade, Dana Carvey, The 1984 Indianpolis Colts, Garth Algar, The Church Lady, Ross Perot, Micheal Ducockass,
Saddam Hussaine, Macanudo Cigars, Allsop Mousepads, Value Jet, Pan-Am flight 109 over Lockerby Scotland, George Clinton and Parlamental Funk, All the transvestites of the world, all of the transvestites removed penises, Lesbians, Jim Carrey, Ace Ventura, The Cable Guy, Fake Andy Kaufman, Rubberface, Lloyd Christmas, Fender Guitars, Gibson Guitars, Wendy Bray, Les Paul, Leo Fender, Marshall Amplifiers, Michael Jackson, Iron Maiden, Black Sabbath, Matt Glover, All the members of The Razor Blade Cult, Lloyd Bridges, Beau Bridges, Bea Arthur, Estelle Getty, Tim Allen, Abe Lincoln, The hot version of Sigourney Weaver, Al Snow, Al Gets, Al Yankovic, Allen Thick, Dick Clark, Andy Rooney, Andy Rickter, Conan O'Brien, Roger Anderson, Frank Parker, Tori Amos, Jewel, Alex Trebek, Tori Wilson, Pat Sajak, Banjo Kazzooie, Twisted Metal 4, Doink the Clown, Pamela Anderson Lee, Tommy Lee, Alyssa Milano, Wendy Bray,Beth Hash, Ice Cube, Ice Tea, Vanilla Ice, M.C. Hammer, Villanos 1 through 42, Lenny Lane, Lodi, Tommy Orion, Billy Sadler, Benjamin Nyetanyahoo, Lolita Davidovich, Carnie Wilson, Indiana Jones, Han Solo, Luke Skywalker, James T. Kirk, Pubic hair spong, Barney the dinosaur, Big Bird, Snuffallunfagus, Will Smith, Tupac, Puff daddy, Pistacios Nuts, Mr. Peanut, Mr. T, Mr. Belding, Tweek and Craig, Zakk Wylde, Zack Morris, A.C. Slater, Kelly Capowski, Lisa Turtle, Screech, Jesse Spano, Carlos Santana, Wendy Bray, James Hettfield, Lars Ulrich, Kirk Hammet, Jason Newsted, Ralph Lauren, Ralph, Ronald Reagan, Jimmy Carter, George Bush, George Thorogood, David Arquette, Mariah Carey's Tits and Ass, The girl from Disc Jockey with perfect Tits and Ass, The all around hot girl from Sunglass Hut, The woman in Leopard Skin selling copper, The dudes that sell hoods, Tommmy Dreamer, all the guys at Nascar HQ, Tree Hugging Hippie Store, Dip N Dots, KISS dude at Spencers, Carie Worley, David at Kay Bee, Mindboggle, Silent Scope, Tyler Winkler, Henry Winkler, The Fonz, Jonie and Chachie, Richie Cunningham, Scott Bayo, Mel Saunders, Dustin Hoffman, Jack Nickelson, Hal Sparks, Mel Gibson, Bruce Willis, Chuck Norris, Tom Arnold, Walker,Texas Ranger, Randy Rhoads, Suzzanne Somers, Tom Selleck, Magnum P.I., Bert Reynolds, The cast of Riptide, Captain Winkie, Ben Folds Five, Steve Bushemi, Quentin Tarantino, Harvey Kytel, Penis pistol from duck til dawn, Mark Callaway, Salma Hayek, Jennifer Lopez, Daisey Fuetes, CATHERINE-ZETA-JONES, JENNY McCARTHY, Dennis Rodman, CARMAN ELECTRA, Denise Richards, Terri Runnels, Tori, Debra, Ivory, Chyna, Rena Mero, The chick with Black hair that was perfect, chick from Ames, Wendy Bray, Grace Slick, Jefferson Airplane, Clarence "the Fire Breathing Negro", Trojan Man, Julius Ceasar, CALIGULA, Stanley Kubrick, Oliver Stone, JFK, Jackie O, Steven Spielberg, Rob Sneider, George Lucas, Jeremy McGrath, Tony Hawk, Nick, Ryan, Roby and Tyler, Jergens Lotion, Hugo Boss, Squave, 12 dollar shampoo, Dave's Brush, David loves Miss Congeniality, David Horowitz...The Jew! He likes to watch us masterbate and he goes: "Splat splooo slooop" all over us, Rico Squave, Mitch Headberg, Lewis Black, THE ROCK, The girl who wouldn't have gone to college if it weren't for her horse, Steve Austin, Hacksaw Jim Duggan, Shane Douglas, Steve Corino, Hewlett Packard, Bill Gates, Jack Victory, ROADKILL, Danny Doring, Electra, DAWN MARIE, Justin Credible, Lance Storm: From Calgary...Alberta, Canada, Vito Lagrassi, Mulletts all over the globe, Little Guido, BIG SAL E. GRAZIANO, Tracy Smothers, Make-out fest 1986, Jerry Lynn, Spike Dudley, Mike Awesome, Masato Tanaka, Masahiro Chono, Yoshihiro Tajiri, The Great Muta, g Fresh, INDIANS from CANNIBAL THE MUSICAL, ALFRED PACKER, Juan Swartz, SCHWAN, Humphries, Trey Parker, Matt Stone, Meatloaf, Barbara Streisand, Dale Earnhardt,George Carlin, Jose Canseco, Cream Boxed Sets, THAT LOVELY, LOVELY POETRY BOOK, and of course, PROVIDENCE!


Poopy McGee
- Saturday, December 25, 1999 at 01:05:22 (PST)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Merry Christmas to:





Richard Donald Underwood III
UNCLE David Setliff! ( The accountant )
Jessyca Hope Blankenship
Melissa, Eve, Foster, Brandi, Travis Ray Cole, Wes, The bartender's Ass, Christina, Terry, Culver,Mick Foley, Scruggs, Meachum, Shott, Stonestreet, WENDY BRAY, Burgess, Christen Carper, Jodi Taylor, Elisha Cuppett, Stephanie Fowler, Amanda Cochran, Charles Bently, John Henson, Chris and Beth Henry, Mr. Godfrey, Mr. Bourne, Mr. Hankey, Kenny, Kyle, Cartman, Stan, Beavis, Butt-head, Bo Duke, Luke Duke, Daisy, Uncle Jessie, Rosco P. Colet,rain, Boss Hogg, The 1988 Oakland A's, Droz, Jesus, Satan, Enus, Christopher Walken, Keith Richards, Eric Clapton, Ginger Baker, Jack Bruce, Jeff Beck, Jimmy Page, Joe F. Perry, DMX, ODB, Ja-Rule, Paul Stanley, Gene Simmons, Peter Criss, ACE FREHLEY, Bruce Kulick, Vinnie Vincent, Eric Carr, Eric Singer, Jessica Comer, Barry Dillon, Bigger Thomas, Jared Barker, Shawn Michaels, Jericho, SABU, RVD, Brandy Bagar, Paige Mustard, BROOKE BOURNE, Matthew Wooten, Lala Wooten, James Richard Wooten, Tammy Underwood, Richard Underwood Jr., T-Bone, Cooter, Effie Epperson, Bob Epperson, the one armed guy who hangs around downtown, Thomas J. Whitmore, Bruce Raven, Wedny Bray,Drake Calloway, Stephanie Ballargin (?), Pete, the guys at Anheiser-Busch, Jack Daniels, Jim Bean, Joel "whether at home or here in Dayton the women are watchin me and maturbatin" Gertner, Cyrus, Joey Styles, Anthony Perdue, Spyder Crowley, Johnny Blast, Ward and June, Brian Logan, Joey Morton, Jared Rottenberry, J.D. Rottenberry, Grandmasta Sexxy, Scotty Too Hotty, Danny Cameron, Heather Lyons, Jamie Hypes, Leah Hypes, Michael Williams, Brandon Williams, Last year's French chick, This years french chick, Kelly Howell, Jessica Stamper, Hannah Stamper, Ryan Stamper, Jeff Burnopp, Caressa Barton, her older sister who was cool, Sarah Kinder, Sarah Stevenson, Stephanie Walk, Steve Matthews, Thomas White, Arron Combs, Ben and Jerry, Daniel Mounts, the guy who "raped" Elisha Cuppett, Shannon Stewart, Mike Haddox, the Puppies, Ulysses, GENERAL LEE, KIT, David Hasslehoff, Jan Micheal Vincent, The guy in teh cartoon who turned into his car, the smurfs, the FRAGGLEs, Wendy Bray, Mario and Luigi, Sonic the Hedgehog, Walt Disney's cremated body, Pricess Di (in hell), JFK Jr., Hitler, Musolini, Castro, My Dad's French chick, Bret Hart, Owen Hart, Mike Meyers, Austin Powers, Wayne Cambell, Andy Kaufman, Tony Clifton, Ladka, Jerry "the King" Lawler, The cast of MTV'S "The State", Beth Littleford, Jon Stewart, Mo Rocca, Vance Degeneres, Steve Cobert, Jimmy Kimel, Ben Stein, Adam Corolla, Bill Clinton, His cock, Monica Lewinsky, Linda Tripp, Stephanie Flowers, Paula Jones, Tonya Harding, Nancy Kerrigan, Jeff Goloulee, Lou E. Dnagerously, Tom Petty, Mandy Moore, Britanny Spears, Christina Agulera, Backstreet Boys, N'SYNC, 98 Degrees, 3 count, Fozzy Osbourne, Ozzy Osbourne, Ozzie Osborune, Rob Zombie, Phil Anselmo, Dimebag Darrel, Vinnie Paul, Rex, Waylon Jennings, Wille Nelson, Johnny Cash, Kris Kristopherson, Yoko Ono, Fred Durst, The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, CREAM, Aerosmith, KISS, 80's KISS, Reunited KISS, Wendy bray,Flotsam and Jetsom, Metallica, Metallica w/out Cliff, AC/DC, Motley Crue, Poison, Unskinny Rose, C.C. Deville, Ford Motor COmpany, Steve Mother-fucking Polychronopolous, Adam Sandler, the Chrysler Corp, Every 1969 Dodge Chager every built (particulalry ones painted orange), Oldmobiles, Geos, Breyers Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream, Nicole Johnson, Nicole Perry, Nicole Thompson, Nicole Artrip, Nicole Sullivan, Nicole Baurer,
Nicole-(ous) Cage, Danny Bonaducci, Leif Garret, Donny Osmond, Marie Osmond, Tommy Hilfigger, Wendy Bray,FUBU, Levi, Lee, Wendy's resturaunt chain, niggers everywhere, all the fags, Jews, spics, chinks, japs, honkies, wetbacks, Nazi's, The Axis Powers, No Doubt, Sean Gurtis, Bush, Silverchair, Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Pearl Necklace, Pearl Drums, Pearl S. Buck, Pearly Bowman, Eric Estrada, Every car every blown up on TV or in a cool movie, Arnold Shwartzenager, That skinny bitch off Dateline he's married to, Jane Pauley, Stone Phillips, Tom Brokaw, Dan Rather, Peter Jennings, My insanlely large cock, Bryant Gumball, Katie Kouric, Willard Scott, Al Roker, Matt Lauer, Ronald McDonald, Grimmace, the Hamburgler, Birdie, Mayor McCheese, Bogey, Pammy, Rick, Scott Steiner, Drizzt Do'Urden, Elminister, the Polterguist, the Exorcist, Linda Blair, the Blair Witch, Heather Donahue, Phil Donahue, Rosie O'donnel, Oprah, Harpo Productions, Wendy Bray,Happy Madison Productions, David Spade, Dana Carvey, The 1984 Indianpolis Colts, Garth Algar, The Church Lady, Ross Perot, Micheal Ducockass,
Saddam Hussaine, Macanudo Cigars, Allsop Mousepads, Value Jet, Pan-Am flight 109 over Lockerby Scotland, George Clinton and Parlamental Funk, All the transvestites of the world, all of the transvestites removed penises, Lesbians, Jim Carrey, Ace Ventura, The Cable Guy, Fake Andy Kaufman, Rubberface, Lloyd Christmas, Fender Guitars, Gibson Guitars, Wendy Bray, Les Paul, Leo Fender, Marshall Amplifiers, Michael Jackson, Iron Maiden, Black Sabbath, Matt Glover, All the members of The Razor Blade Cult, Lloyd Bridges, Beau Bridges, Bea Arthur, Estelle Getty, Tim Allen, Abe Lincoln, The hot version of Sigourney Weaver, Al Snow, Al Gets, Al Yankovic, Allen Thick, Dick Clark, Andy Rooney, Andy Rickter, Conan O'Brien, Roger Anderson, Frank Parker, Tori Amos, Jewel, Alex Trebek, Tori Wilson, Pat Sajak, Banjo Kazzooie, Twisted Metal 4, Doink the Clown, Pamela Anderson Lee, Tommy Lee, Alyssa Milano, Wendy Bray,Beth Hash, Ice Cube, Ice Tea, Vanilla Ice, M.C. Hammer, Villanos 1 through 42, Lenny Lane, Lodi, Tommy Orion, Billy Sadler, Benjamin Nyetanyahoo, Lolita Davidovich, Carnie Wilson, Indiana Jones, Han Solo, Luke Skywalker, James T. Kirk, Pubic hair spong, Barney the dinosaur, Big Bird, Snuffallunfagus, Will Smith, Tupac, Puff daddy, Pistacios Nuts, Mr. Peanut, Mr. T, Mr. Belding, Tweek and Craig, Zakk Wylde, Zack Morris, A.C. Slater, Kelly Capowski, Lisa Turtle, Screech, Jesse Spano, Carlos Santana, Wendy Bray, James Hettfield, Lars Ulrich, Kirk Hammet, Jason Newsted, Ralph Lauren, Ralph, Ronald Reagan, Jimmy Carter, George Bush, George Thorogood, David Arquette, Mariah Carey's Tits and Ass, The girl from Disc Jockey with perfect Tits and Ass, The all around hot girl from Sunglass Hut, The woman in Leopard Skin selling copper, The dudes that sell hoods, Tommmy Dreamer, all the guys at Nascar HQ, Tree Hugging Hippie Store, Dip N Dots, KISS dude at Spencers, Carie Worley, David at Kay Bee, Mindboggle, Silent Scope, Tyler Winkler, Henry Winkler, The Fonz, Jonie and Chachie, Richie Cunningham, Scott Bayo, Mel Saunders, Dustin Hoffman, Jack Nickelson, Hal Sparks, Mel Gibson, Bruce Willis, Chuck Norris, Tom Arnold, Walker,Texas Ranger, Randy Rhoads, Suzzanne Somers, Tom Selleck, Magnum P.I., Bert Reynolds, The cast of Riptide, Captain Winkie, Ben Folds Five, Steve Bushemi, Quentin Tarantino, Harvey Kytel, Penis pistol from duck til dawn, Mark Callaway, Salma Hayek, Jennifer Lopez, Daisey Fuetes, CATHERINE-ZETA-JONES, JENNY McCARTHY, Dennis Rodman, CARMAN ELECTRA, Denise Richards, Terri Runnels, Tori, Debra, Ivory, Chyna, Rena Mero, The chick with Black hair that was perfect, chick from Ames, Wendy Bray, Grace Slick, Jefferson Airplane, Clarence "the Fire Breathing Negro", Trojan Man, Julius Ceasar, CALIGULA, Stanley Kubrick, Oliver Stone, JFK, Jackie O, Steven Spielberg, Rob Sneider, George Lucas, Jeremy McGrath, Tony Hawk, Nick, Ryan, Roby and Tyler, Jergens Lotion, Hugo Boss, Squave, 12 dollar shampoo, Dave's Brush, David loves Miss Congeniality, David Horowitz...The Jew! He likes to watch us masterbate and he goes: "Splat splooo slooop" all over us, Rico Squave, Mitch Headberg, Lewis Black, THE ROCK, The girl who wouldn't have gone to college if it weren't for her horse, Steve Austin, Hacksaw Jim Duggan, Shane Douglas, Steve Corino, Hewlett Packard, Bill Gates, Jack Victory, ROADKILL, Danny Doring, Electra, DAWN MARIE, Justin Credible, Lance Storm: From Calgary...Alberta, Canada, Vito Lagrassi, Mulletts all over the globe, Little Guido, BIG SAL E. GRAZIANO, Tracy Smothers, Make-out fest 1986, Jerry Lynn, Spike Dudley, Mike Awesome, Masato Tanaka, Masahiro Chono, Yoshihiro Tajiri, The Great Muta, g Fresh, INDIANS from CANNIBAL THE MUSICAL, ALFRED PACKER, Juan Swartz, SCHWAN, Humphries, Trey Parker, Matt Stone, Meatloaf, Barbara Streisand, Dale Earnhardt,George Carlin, Jose Canseco, Cream Boxed Sets, THAT LOVELY, LOVELY POETRY BOOK, and of course, PROVIDENCE!

Elisha Cuppett
- Saturday, December 25, 1999 at 01:02:16 (PST)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Merry Christmas to:





Richard Donald Underwood III
UNCLE David Setliff! ( The accountant )
Jessyca Hope Blankenship
Melissa, Eve, Foster, Brandi, Travis Ray Cole, Wes, The bartender's Ass, Christina, Terry, Culver,Mick Foley, Scruggs, Meachum, Shott, Stonestreet, WENDY BRAY, Burgess, Christen Carper, Jodi Taylor, Elisha Cuppett, Stephanie Fowler, Amanda Cochran, Charles Bently, John Henson, Chris and Beth Henry, Mr. Godfrey, Mr. Bourne, Mr. Hankey, Kenny, Kyle, Cartman, Stan, Beavis, Butt-head, Bo Duke, Luke Duke, Daisy, Uncle Jessie, Rosco P. Colet,rain, Boss Hogg, The 1988 Oakland A's, Droz, Jesus, Satan, Enus, Christopher Walken, Keith Richards, Eric Clapton, Ginger Baker, Jack Bruce, Jeff Beck, Jimmy Page, Joe F. Perry, DMX, ODB, Ja-Rule, Paul Stanley, Gene Simmons, Peter Criss, ACE FREHLEY, Bruce Kulick, Vinnie Vincent, Eric Carr, Eric Singer, Jessica Comer, Barry Dillon, Bigger Thomas, Jared Barker, Shawn Michaels, Jericho, SABU, RVD, Brandy Bagar, Paige Mustard, BROOKE BOURNE, Matthew Wooten, Lala Wooten, James Richard Wooten, Tammy Underwood, Richard Underwood Jr., T-Bone, Cooter, Effie Epperson, Bob Epperson, the one armed guy who hangs around downtown, Thomas J. Whitmore, Bruce Raven, Wedny Bray,Drake Calloway, Stephanie Ballargin (?), Pete, the guys at Anheiser-Busch, Jack Daniels, Jim Bean, Joel "whether at home or here in Dayton the women are watchin me and maturbatin" Gertner, Cyrus, Joey Styles, Anthony Perdue, Spyder Crowley, Johnny Blast, Ward and June, Brian Logan, Joey Morton, Jared Rottenberry, J.D. Rottenberry, Grandmasta Sexxy, Scotty Too Hotty, Danny Cameron, Heather Lyons, Jamie Hypes, Leah Hypes, Michael Williams, Brandon Williams, Last year's French chick, This years french chick, Kelly Howell, Jessica Stamper, Hannah Stamper, Ryan Stamper, Jeff Burnopp, Caressa Barton, her older sister who was cool, Sarah Kinder, Sarah Stevenson, Stephanie Walk, Steve Matthews, Thomas White, Arron Combs, Ben and Jerry, Daniel Mounts, the guy who "raped" Elisha Cuppett, Shannon Stewart, Mike Haddox, the Puppies, Ulysses, GENERAL LEE, KIT, David Hasslehoff, Jan Micheal Vincent, The guy in teh cartoon who turned into his car, the smurfs, the FRAGGLEs, Wendy Bray, Mario and Luigi, Sonic the Hedgehog, Walt Disney's cremated body, Pricess Di (in hell), JFK Jr., Hitler, Musolini, Castro, My Dad's French chick, Bret Hart, Owen Hart, Mike Meyers, Austin Powers, Wayne Cambell, Andy Kaufman, Tony Clifton, Ladka, Jerry "the King" Lawler, The cast of MTV'S "The State", Beth Littleford, Jon Stewart, Mo Rocca, Vance Degeneres, Steve Cobert, Jimmy Kimel, Ben Stein, Adam Corolla, Bill Clinton, His cock, Monica Lewinsky, Linda Tripp, Stephanie Flowers, Paula Jones, Tonya Harding, Nancy Kerrigan, Jeff Goloulee, Lou E. Dnagerously, Tom Petty, Mandy Moore, Britanny Spears, Christina Agulera, Backstreet Boys, N'SYNC, 98 Degrees, 3 count, Fozzy Osbourne, Ozzy Osbourne, Ozzie Osborune, Rob Zombie, Phil Anselmo, Dimebag Darrel, Vinnie Paul, Rex, Waylon Jennings, Wille Nelson, Johnny Cash, Kris Kristopherson, Yoko Ono, Fred Durst, The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, CREAM, Aerosmith, KISS, 80's KISS, Reunited KISS, Wendy bray,Flotsam and Jetsom, Metallica, Metallica w/out Cliff, AC/DC, Motley Crue, Poison, Unskinny Rose, C.C. Deville, Ford Motor COmpany, Steve Mother-fucking Polychronopolous, Adam Sandler, the Chrysler Corp, Every 1969 Dodge Chager every built (particulalry ones painted orange), Oldmobiles, Geos, Breyers Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream, Nicole Johnson, Nicole Perry, Nicole Thompson, Nicole Artrip, Nicole Sullivan, Nicole Baurer,
Nicole-(ous) Cage, Danny Bonaducci, Leif Garret, Donny Osmond, Marie Osmond, Tommy Hilfigger, Wendy Bray,FUBU, Levi, Lee, Wendy's resturaunt chain, niggers everywhere, all the fags, Jews, spics, chinks, japs, honkies, wetbacks, Nazi's, The Axis Powers, No Doubt, Sean Gurtis, Bush, Silverchair, Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Pearl Necklace, Pearl Drums, Pearl S. Buck, Pearly Bowman, Eric Estrada, Every car every blown up on TV or in a cool movie, Arnold Shwartzenager, That skinny bitch off Dateline he's married to, Jane Pauley, Stone Phillips, Tom Brokaw, Dan Rather, Peter Jennings, My insanlely large cock, Bryant Gumball, Katie Kouric, Willard Scott, Al Roker, Matt Lauer, Ronald McDonald, Grimmace, the Hamburgler, Birdie, Mayor McCheese, Bogey, Pammy, Rick, Scott Steiner, Drizzt Do'Urden, Elminister, the Polterguist, the Exorcist, Linda Blair, the Blair Witch, Heather Donahue, Phil Donahue, Rosie O'donnel, Oprah, Harpo Productions, Wendy Bray,Happy Madison Productions, David Spade, Dana Carvey, The 1984 Indianpolis Colts, Garth Algar, The Church Lady, Ross Perot, Micheal Ducockass,
Saddam Hussaine, Macanudo Cigars, Allsop Mousepads, Value Jet, Pan-Am flight 109 over Lockerby Scotland, George Clinton and Parlamental Funk, All the transvestites of the world, all of the transvestites removed penises, Lesbians, Jim Carrey, Ace Ventura, The Cable Guy, Fake Andy Kaufman, Rubberface, Lloyd Christmas, Fender Guitars, Gibson Guitars, Wendy Bray, Les Paul, Leo Fender, Marshall Amplifiers, Michael Jackson, Iron Maiden, Black Sabbath, Matt Glover, All the members of The Razor Blade Cult, Lloyd Bridges, Beau Bridges, Bea Arthur, Estelle Getty, Tim Allen, Abe Lincoln, The hot version of Sigourney Weaver, Al Snow, Al Gets, Al Yankovic, Allen Thick, Dick Clark, Andy Rooney, Andy Rickter, Conan O'Brien, Roger Anderson, Frank Parker, Tori Amos, Jewel, Alex Trebek, Tori Wilson, Pat Sajak, Banjo Kazzooie, Twisted Metal 4, Doink the Clown, Pamela Anderson Lee, Tommy Lee, Alyssa Milano, Wendy Bray,Beth Hash, Ice Cube, Ice Tea, Vanilla Ice, M.C. Hammer, Villanos 1 through 42, Lenny Lane, Lodi, Tommy Orion, Billy Sadler, Benjamin Nyetanyahoo, Lolita Davidovich, Carnie Wilson, Indiana Jones, Han Solo, Luke Skywalker, James T. Kirk, Pubic hair spong, Barney the dinosaur, Big Bird, Snuffallunfagus, Will Smith, Tupac, Puff daddy, Pistacios Nuts, Mr. Peanut, Mr. T, Mr. Belding, Tweek and Craig, Zakk Wylde, Zack Morris, A.C. Slater, Kelly Capowski, Lisa Turtle, Screech, Jesse Spano, Carlos Santana, Wendy Bray, James Hettfield, Lars Ulrich, Kirk Hammet, Jason Newsted, Ralph Lauren, Ralph, Ronald Reagan, Jimmy Carter, George Bush, George Thorogood, David Arquette, Mariah Carey's Tits and Ass, The girl from Disc Jockey with perfect Tits and Ass, The all around hot girl from Sunglass Hut, The woman in Leopard Skin selling copper, The dudes that sell hoods, Tommmy Dreamer, all the guys at Nascar HQ, Tree Hugging Hippie Store, Dip N Dots, KISS dude at Spencers, Carie Worley, David at Kay Bee, Mindboggle, Silent Scope, Tyler Winkler, Henry Winkler, The Fonz, Jonie and Chachie, Richie Cunningham, Scott Bayo, Mel Saunders, Dustin Hoffman, Jack Nickelson, Hal Sparks, Mel Gibson, Bruce Willis, Chuck Norris, Tom Arnold, Walker,Texas Ranger, Randy Rhoads, Suzzanne Somers, Tom Selleck, Magnum P.I., Bert Reynolds, The cast of Riptide, Captain Winkie, Ben Folds Five, Steve Bushemi, Quentin Tarantino, Harvey Kytel, Penis pistol from duck til dawn, Mark Callaway, Salma Hayek, Jennifer Lopez, Daisey Fuetes, CATHERINE-ZETA-JONES, JENNY McCARTHY, Dennis Rodman, CARMAN ELECTRA, Denise Richards, Terri Runnels, Tori, Debra, Ivory, Chyna, Rena Mero, The chick with Black hair that was perfect, chick from Ames, Wendy Bray, Grace Slick, Jefferson Airplane, Clarence "the Fire Breathing Negro", Trojan Man, Julius Ceasar, CALIGULA, Stanley Kubrick, Oliver Stone, JFK, Jackie O, Steven Spielberg, Rob Sneider, George Lucas, Jeremy McGrath, Tony Hawk, Nick, Ryan, Roby and Tyler, Jergens Lotion, Hugo Boss, Squave, 12 dollar shampoo, Dave's Brush, David loves Miss Congeniality, David Horowitz...The Jew! He likes to watch us masterbate and he goes: "Splat splooo slooop" all over us, Rico Squave, Mitch Headberg, Lewis Black, THE ROCK, The girl who wouldn't have gone to college if it weren't for her horse, Steve Austin, Hacksaw Jim Duggan, Shane Douglas, Steve Corino, Hewlett Packard, Bill Gates, Jack Victory, ROADKILL, Danny Doring, Electra, DAWN MARIE, Justin Credible, Lance Storm: From Calgary...Alberta, Canada, Vito Lagrassi, Mulletts all over the globe, Little Guido, BIG SAL E. GRAZIANO, Tracy Smothers, Make-out fest 1986, Jerry Lynn, Spike Dudley, Mike Awesome, Masato Tanaka, Masahiro Chono, Yoshihiro Tajiri, The Great Muta, g Fresh, INDIANS from CANNIBAL THE MUSICAL, ALFRED PACKER, Juan Swartz, SCHWAN, Humphries, Trey Parker, Matt Stone, Meatloaf, Barbara Streisand, Dale Earnhardt,George Carlin, Jose Canseco, Cream Boxed Sets, THAT LOVELY, LOVELY POETRY BOOK, and of course, PROVIDENCE!

Tracy Lords
- Saturday, December 25, 1999 at 01:01:31 (PST)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Merry Christmas to:





Richard Donald Underwood III
UNCLE David Setliff! ( The accountant )
Jessyca Hope Blankenship
Melissa, Eve, Foster, Brandi, Travis Ray Cole, Wes, The bartender's Ass, Christina, Terry, Culver,Mick Foley, Scruggs, Meachum, Shott, Stonestreet, WENDY BRAY, Burgess, Christen Carper, Jodi Taylor, Elisha Cuppett, Stephanie Fowler, Amanda Cochran, Charles Bently, John Henson, Chris and Beth Henry, Mr. Godfrey, Mr. Bourne, Mr. Hankey, Kenny, Kyle, Cartman, Stan, Beavis, Butt-head, Bo Duke, Luke Duke, Daisy, Uncle Jessie, Rosco P. Colet,rain, Boss Hogg, The 1988 Oakland A's, Droz, Jesus, Satan, Enus, Christopher Walken, Keith Richards, Eric Clapton, Ginger Baker, Jack Bruce, Jeff Beck, Jimmy Page, Joe F. Perry, DMX, ODB, Ja-Rule, Paul Stanley, Gene Simmons, Peter Criss, ACE FREHLEY, Bruce Kulick, Vinnie Vincent, Eric Carr, Eric Singer, Jessica Comer, Barry Dillon, Bigger Thomas, Jared Barker, Shawn Michaels, Jericho, SABU, RVD, Brandy Bagar, Paige Mustard, BROOKE BOURNE, Matthew Wooten, Lala Wooten, James Richard Wooten, Tammy Underwood, Richard Underwood Jr., T-Bone, Cooter, Effie Epperson, Bob Epperson, the one armed guy who hangs around downtown, Thomas J. Whitmore, Bruce Raven, Wedny Bray,Drake Calloway, Stephanie Ballargin (?), Pete, the guys at Anheiser-Busch, Jack Daniels, Jim Bean, Joel "whether at home or here in Dayton the women are watchin me and maturbatin" Gertner, Cyrus, Joey Styles, Anthony Perdue, Spyder Crowley, Johnny Blast, Ward and June, Brian Logan, Joey Morton, Jared Rottenberry, J.D. Rottenberry, Grandmasta Sexxy, Scotty Too Hotty, Danny Cameron, Heather Lyons, Jamie Hypes, Leah Hypes, Michael Williams, Brandon Williams, Last year's French chick, This years french chick, Kelly Howell, Jessica Stamper, Hannah Stamper, Ryan Stamper, Jeff Burnopp, Caressa Barton, her older sister who was cool, Sarah Kinder, Sarah Stevenson, Stephanie Walk, Steve Matthews, Thomas White, Arron Combs, Ben and Jerry, Daniel Mounts, the guy who "raped" Elisha Cuppett, Shannon Stewart, Mike Haddox, the Puppies, Ulysses, GENERAL LEE, KIT, David Hasslehoff, Jan Micheal Vincent, The guy in teh cartoon who turned into his car, the smurfs, the FRAGGLEs, Wendy Bray, Mario and Luigi, Sonic the Hedgehog, Walt Disney's cremated body, Pricess Di (in hell), JFK Jr., Hitler, Musolini, Castro, My Dad's French chick, Bret Hart, Owen Hart, Mike Meyers, Austin Powers, Wayne Cambell, Andy Kaufman, Tony Clifton, Ladka, Jerry "the King" Lawler, The cast of MTV'S "The State", Beth Littleford, Jon Stewart, Mo Rocca, Vance Degeneres, Steve Cobert, Jimmy Kimel, Ben Stein, Adam Corolla, Bill Clinton, His cock, Monica Lewinsky, Linda Tripp, Stephanie Flowers, Paula Jones, Tonya Harding, Nancy Kerrigan, Jeff Goloulee, Lou E. Dnagerously, Tom Petty, Mandy Moore, Britanny Spears, Christina Agulera, Backstreet Boys, N'SYNC, 98 Degrees, 3 count, Fozzy Osbourne, Ozzy Osbourne, Ozzie Osborune, Rob Zombie, Phil Anselmo, Dimebag Darrel, Vinnie Paul, Rex, Waylon Jennings, Wille Nelson, Johnny Cash, Kris Kristopherson, Yoko Ono, Fred Durst, The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, CREAM, Aerosmith, KISS, 80's KISS, Reunited KISS, Wendy bray,Flotsam and Jetsom, Metallica, Metallica w/out Cliff, AC/DC, Motley Crue, Poison, Unskinny Rose, C.C. Deville, Ford Motor COmpany, Steve Mother-fucking Polychronopolous, Adam Sandler, the Chrysler Corp, Every 1969 Dodge Chager every built (particulalry ones painted orange), Oldmobiles, Geos, Breyers Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream, Nicole Johnson, Nicole Perry, Nicole Thompson, Nicole Artrip, Nicole Sullivan, Nicole Baurer,
Nicole-(ous) Cage, Danny Bonaducci, Leif Garret, Donny Osmond, Marie Osmond, Tommy Hilfigger, Wendy Bray,FUBU, Levi, Lee, Wendy's resturaunt chain, niggers everywhere, all the fags, Jews, spics, chinks, japs, honkies, wetbacks, Nazi's, The Axis Powers, No Doubt, Sean Gurtis, Bush, Silverchair, Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Pearl Necklace, Pearl Drums, Pearl S. Buck, Pearly Bowman, Eric Estrada, Every car every blown up on TV or in a cool movie, Arnold Shwartzenager, That skinny bitch off Dateline he's married to, Jane Pauley, Stone Phillips, Tom Brokaw, Dan Rather, Peter Jennings, My insanlely large cock, Bryant Gumball, Katie Kouric, Willard Scott, Al Roker, Matt Lauer, Ronald McDonald, Grimmace, the Hamburgler, Birdie, Mayor McCheese, Bogey, Pammy, Rick, Scott Steiner, Drizzt Do'Urden, Elminister, the Polterguist, the Exorcist, Linda Blair, the Blair Witch, Heather Donahue, Phil Donahue, Rosie O'donnel, Oprah, Harpo Productions, Wendy Bray,Happy Madison Productions, David Spade, Dana Carvey, The 1984 Indianpolis Colts, Garth Algar, The Church Lady, Ross Perot, Micheal Ducockass,
Saddam Hussaine, Macanudo Cigars, Allsop Mousepads, Value Jet, Pan-Am flight 109 over Lockerby Scotland, George Clinton and Parlamental Funk, All the transvestites of the world, all of the transvestites removed penises, Lesbians, Jim Carrey, Ace Ventura, The Cable Guy, Fake Andy Kaufman, Rubberface, Lloyd Christmas, Fender Guitars, Gibson Guitars, Wendy Bray, Les Paul, Leo Fender, Marshall Amplifiers, Michael Jackson, Iron Maiden, Black Sabbath, Matt Glover, All the members of The Razor Blade Cult, Lloyd Bridges, Beau Bridges, Bea Arthur, Estelle Getty, Tim Allen, Abe Lincoln, The hot version of Sigourney Weaver, Al Snow, Al Gets, Al Yankovic, Allen Thick, Dick Clark, Andy Rooney, Andy Rickter, Conan O'Brien, Roger Anderson, Frank Parker, Tori Amos, Jewel, Alex Trebek, Tori Wilson, Pat Sajak, Banjo Kazzooie, Twisted Metal 4, Doink the Clown, Pamela Anderson Lee, Tommy Lee, Alyssa Milano, Wendy Bray,Beth Hash, Ice Cube, Ice Tea, Vanilla Ice, M.C. Hammer, Villanos 1 through 42, Lenny Lane, Lodi, Tommy Orion, Billy Sadler, Benjamin Nyetanyahoo, Lolita Davidovich, Carnie Wilson, Indiana Jones, Han Solo, Luke Skywalker, James T. Kirk, Pubic hair spong, Barney the dinosaur, Big Bird, Snuffallunfagus, Will Smith, Tupac, Puff daddy, Pistacios Nuts, Mr. Peanut, Mr. T, Mr. Belding, Tweek and Craig, Zakk Wylde, Zack Morris, A.C. Slater, Kelly Capowski, Lisa Turtle, Screech, Jesse Spano, Carlos Santana, Wendy Bray, James Hettfield, Lars Ulrich, Kirk Hammet, Jason Newsted, Ralph Lauren, Ralph, Ronald Reagan, Jimmy Carter, George Bush, George Thorogood, David Arquette, Mariah Carey's Tits and Ass, The girl from Disc Jockey with perfect Tits and Ass, The all around hot girl from Sunglass Hut, The woman in Leopard Skin selling copper, The dudes that sell hoods, Tommmy Dreamer, all the guys at Nascar HQ, Tree Hugging Hippie Store, Dip N Dots, KISS dude at Spencers, Carie Worley, David at Kay Bee, Mindboggle, Silent Scope, Tyler Winkler, Henry Winkler, The Fonz, Jonie and Chachie, Richie Cunningham, Scott Bayo, Mel Saunders, Dustin Hoffman, Jack Nickelson, Hal Sparks, Mel Gibson, Bruce Willis, Chuck Norris, Tom Arnold, Walker,Texas Ranger, Randy Rhoads, Suzzanne Somers, Tom Selleck, Magnum P.I., Bert Reynolds, The cast of Riptide, Captain Winkie, Ben Folds Five, Steve Bushemi, Quentin Tarantino, Harvey Kytel, Penis pistol from duck til dawn, Mark Callaway, Salma Hayek, Jennifer Lopez, Daisey Fuetes, CATHERINE-ZETA-JONES, JENNY McCARTHY, Dennis Rodman, CARMAN ELECTRA, Denise Richards, Terri Runnels, Tori, Debra, Ivory, Chyna, Rena Mero, The chick with Black hair that was perfect, chick from Ames, Wendy Bray, Grace Slick, Jefferson Airplane, Clarence "the Fire Breathing Negro", Trojan Man, Julius Ceasar, CALIGULA, Stanley Kubrick, Oliver Stone, JFK, Jackie O, Steven Spielberg, Rob Sneider, George Lucas, Jeremy McGrath, Tony Hawk, Nick, Ryan, Roby and Tyler, Jergens Lotion, Hugo Boss, Squave, 12 dollar shampoo, Dave's Brush, David loves Miss Congeniality, David Horowitz...The Jew! He likes to watch us masterbate and he goes: "Splat splooo slooop" all over us, Rico Squave, Mitch Headberg, Lewis Black, THE ROCK, The girl who wouldn't have gone to college if it weren't for her horse, Steve Austin, Hacksaw Jim Duggan, Shane Douglas, Steve Corino, Hewlett Packard, Bill Gates, Jack Victory, ROADKILL, Danny Doring, Electra, DAWN MARIE, Justin Credible, Lance Storm: From Calgary...Alberta, Canada, Vito Lagrassi, Mulletts all over the globe, Little Guido, BIG SAL E. GRAZIANO, Tracy Smothers, Make-out fest 1986, Jerry Lynn, Spike Dudley, Mike Awesome, Masato Tanaka, Masahiro Chono, Yoshihiro Tajiri, The Great Muta, g Fresh, INDIANS from CANNIBAL THE MUSICAL, ALFRED PACKER, Juan Swartz, SCHWAN, Humphries, Trey Parker, Matt Stone, Meatloaf, Barbara Streisand, Dale Earnhardt,George Carlin, Jose Canseco, Cream Boxed Sets, THAT LOVELY, LOVELY POETRY BOOK, and of course, PROVIDENCE!

David Lee Roth
- Saturday, December 25, 1999 at 01:00:11 (PST)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Merry Christmas to:





Richard Donald Underwood III
UNCLE David Setliff! ( The accountant )
Jessyca Hope Blankenship
Melissa, Eve, Foster, Brandi, Travis Ray Cole, Wes, The bartender's Ass, Christina, Terry, Culver,Mick Foley, Scruggs, Meachum, Shott, Stonestreet, WENDY BRAY, Burgess, Christen Carper, Jodi Taylor, Elisha Cuppett, Stephanie Fowler, Amanda Cochran, Charles Bently, John Henson, Chris and Beth Henry, Mr. Godfrey, Mr. Bourne, Mr. Hankey, Kenny, Kyle, Cartman, Stan, Beavis, Butt-head, Bo Duke, Luke Duke, Daisy, Uncle Jessie, Rosco P. Colet,rain, Boss Hogg, The 1988 Oakland A's, Droz, Jesus, Satan, Enus, Christopher Walken, Keith Richards, Eric Clapton, Ginger Baker, Jack Bruce, Jeff Beck, Jimmy Page, Joe F. Perry, DMX, ODB, Ja-Rule, Paul Stanley, Gene Simmons, Peter Criss, ACE FREHLEY, Bruce Kulick, Vinnie Vincent, Eric Carr, Eric Singer, Jessica Comer, Barry Dillon, Bigger Thomas, Jared Barker, Shawn Michaels, Jericho, SABU, RVD, Brandy Bagar, Paige Mustard, BROOKE BOURNE, Matthew Wooten, Lala Wooten, James Richard Wooten, Tammy Underwood, Richard Underwood Jr., T-Bone, Cooter, Effie Epperson, Bob Epperson, the one armed guy who hangs around downtown, Thomas J. Whitmore, Bruce Raven, Wedny Bray,Drake Calloway, Stephanie Ballargin (?), Pete, the guys at Anheiser-Busch, Jack Daniels, Jim Bean, Joel "whether at home or here in Dayton the women are watchin me and maturbatin" Gertner, Cyrus, Joey Styles, Anthony Perdue, Spyder Crowley, Johnny Blast, Ward and June, Brian Logan, Joey Morton, Jared Rottenberry, J.D. Rottenberry, Grandmasta Sexxy, Scotty Too Hotty, Danny Cameron, Heather Lyons, Jamie Hypes, Leah Hypes, Michael Williams, Brandon Williams, Last year's French chick, This years french chick, Kelly Howell, Jessica Stamper, Hannah Stamper, Ryan Stamper, Jeff Burnopp, Caressa Barton, her older sister who was cool, Sarah Kinder, Sarah Stevenson, Stephanie Walk, Steve Matthews, Thomas White, Arron Combs, Ben and Jerry, Daniel Mounts, the guy who "raped" Elisha Cuppett, Shannon Stewart, Mike Haddox, the Puppies, Ulysses, GENERAL LEE, KIT, David Hasslehoff, Jan Micheal Vincent, The guy in teh cartoon who turned into his car, the smurfs, the FRAGGLEs, Wendy Bray, Mario and Luigi, Sonic the Hedgehog, Walt Disney's cremated body, Pricess Di (in hell), JFK Jr., Hitler, Musolini, Castro, My Dad's French chick, Bret Hart, Owen Hart, Mike Meyers, Austin Powers, Wayne Cambell, Andy Kaufman, Tony Clifton, Ladka, Jerry "the King" Lawler, The cast of MTV'S "The State", Beth Littleford, Jon Stewart, Mo Rocca, Vance Degeneres, Steve Cobert, Jimmy Kimel, Ben Stein, Adam Corolla, Bill Clinton, His cock, Monica Lewinsky, Linda Tripp, Stephanie Flowers, Paula Jones, Tonya Harding, Nancy Kerrigan, Jeff Goloulee, Lou E. Dnagerously, Tom Petty, Mandy Moore, Britanny Spears, Christina Agulera, Backstreet Boys, N'SYNC, 98 Degrees, 3 count, Fozzy Osbourne, Ozzy Osbourne, Ozzie Osborune, Rob Zombie, Phil Anselmo, Dimebag Darrel, Vinnie Paul, Rex, Waylon Jennings, Wille Nelson, Johnny Cash, Kris Kristopherson, Yoko Ono, Fred Durst, The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, CREAM, Aerosmith, KISS, 80's KISS, Reunited KISS, Wendy bray,Flotsam and Jetsom, Metallica, Metallica w/out Cliff, AC/DC, Motley Crue, Poison, Unskinny Rose, C.C. Deville, Ford Motor COmpany, Steve Mother-fucking Polychronopolous, Adam Sandler, the Chrysler Corp, Every 1969 Dodge Chager every built (particulalry ones painted orange), Oldmobiles, Geos, Breyers Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream, Nicole Johnson, Nicole Perry, Nicole Thompson, Nicole Artrip, Nicole Sullivan, Nicole Baurer,
Nicole-(ous) Cage, Danny Bonaducci, Leif Garret, Donny Osmond, Marie Osmond, Tommy Hilfigger, Wendy Bray,FUBU, Levi, Lee, Wendy's resturaunt chain, niggers everywhere, all the fags, Jews, spics, chinks, japs, honkies, wetbacks, Nazi's, The Axis Powers, No Doubt, Sean Gurtis, Bush, Silverchair, Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Pearl Necklace, Pearl Drums, Pearl S. Buck, Pearly Bowman, Eric Estrada, Every car every blown up on TV or in a cool movie, Arnold Shwartzenager, That skinny bitch off Dateline he's married to, Jane Pauley, Stone Phillips, Tom Brokaw, Dan Rather, Peter Jennings, My insanlely large cock, Bryant Gumball, Katie Kouric, Willard Scott, Al Roker, Matt Lauer, Ronald McDonald, Grimmace, the Hamburgler, Birdie, Mayor McCheese, Bogey, Pammy, Rick, Scott Steiner, Drizzt Do'Urden, Elminister, the Polterguist, the Exorcist, Linda Blair, the Blair Witch, Heather Donahue, Phil Donahue, Rosie O'donnel, Oprah, Harpo Productions, Wendy Bray,Happy Madison Productions, David Spade, Dana Carvey, The 1984 Indianpolis Colts, Garth Algar, The Church Lady, Ross Perot, Micheal Ducockass,
Saddam Hussaine, Macanudo Cigars, Allsop Mousepads, Value Jet, Pan-Am flight 109 over Lockerby Scotland, George Clinton and Parlamental Funk, All the transvestites of the world, all of the transvestites removed penises, Lesbians, Jim Carrey, Ace Ventura, The Cable Guy, Fake Andy Kaufman, Rubberface, Lloyd Christmas, Fender Guitars, Gibson Guitars, Wendy Bray, Les Paul, Leo Fender, Marshall Amplifiers, Michael Jackson, Iron Maiden, Black Sabbath, Matt Glover, All the members of The Razor Blade Cult, Lloyd Bridges, Beau Bridges, Bea Arthur, Estelle Getty, Tim Allen, Abe Lincoln, The hot version of Sigourney Weaver, Al Snow, Al Gets, Al Yankovic, Allen Thick, Dick Clark, Andy Rooney, Andy Rickter, Conan O'Brien, Roger Anderson, Frank Parker, Tori Amos, Jewel, Alex Trebek, Tori Wilson, Pat Sajak, Banjo Kazzooie, Twisted Metal 4, Doink the Clown, Pamela Anderson Lee, Tommy Lee, Alyssa Milano, Wendy Bray,Beth Hash, Ice Cube, Ice Tea, Vanilla Ice, M.C. Hammer, Villanos 1 through 42, Lenny Lane, Lodi, Tommy Orion, Billy Sadler, Benjamin Nyetanyahoo, Lolita Davidovich, Carnie Wilson, Indiana Jones, Han Solo, Luke Skywalker, James T. Kirk, Pubic hair spong, Barney the dinosaur, Big Bird, Snuffallunfagus, Will Smith, Tupac, Puff daddy, Pistacios Nuts, Mr. Peanut, Mr. T, Mr. Belding, Tweek and Craig, Zakk Wylde, Zack Morris, A.C. Slater, Kelly Capowski, Lisa Turtle, Screech, Jesse Spano, Carlos Santana, Wendy Bray, James Hettfield, Lars Ulrich, Kirk Hammet, Jason Newsted, Ralph Lauren, Ralph, Ronald Reagan, Jimmy Carter, George Bush, George Thorogood, David Arquette, Mariah Carey's Tits and Ass, The girl from Disc Jockey with perfect Tits and Ass, The all around hot girl from Sunglass Hut, The woman in Leopard Skin selling copper, The dudes that sell hoods, Tommmy Dreamer, all the guys at Nascar HQ, Tree Hugging Hippie Store, Dip N Dots, KISS dude at Spencers, Carie Worley, David at Kay Bee, Mindboggle, Silent Scope, Tyler Winkler, Henry Winkler, The Fonz, Jonie and Chachie, Richie Cunningham, Scott Bayo, Mel Saunders, Dustin Hoffman, Jack Nickelson, Hal Sparks, Mel Gibson, Bruce Willis, Chuck Norris, Tom Arnold, Walker,Texas Ranger, Randy Rhoads, Suzzanne Somers, Tom Selleck, Magnum P.I., Bert Reynolds, The cast of Riptide, Captain Winkie, Ben Folds Five, Steve Bushemi, Quentin Tarantino, Harvey Kytel, Penis pistol from duck til dawn, Mark Callaway, Salma Hayek, Jennifer Lopez, Daisey Fuetes, CATHERINE-ZETA-JONES, JENNY McCARTHY, Dennis Rodman, CARMAN ELECTRA, Denise Richards, Terri Runnels, Tori, Debra, Ivory, Chyna, Rena Mero, The chick with Black hair that was perfect, chick from Ames, Wendy Bray, Grace Slick, Jefferson Airplane, Clarence "the Fire Breathing Negro", Trojan Man, Julius Ceasar, CALIGULA, Stanley Kubrick, Oliver Stone, JFK, Jackie O, Steven Spielberg, Rob Sneider, George Lucas, Jeremy McGrath, Tony Hawk, Nick, Ryan, Roby and Tyler, Jergens Lotion, Hugo Boss, Squave, 12 dollar shampoo, Dave's Brush, David loves Miss Congeniality, David Horowitz...The Jew! He likes to watch us masterbate and he goes: "Splat splooo slooop" all over us, Rico Squave, Mitch Headberg, Lewis Black, THE ROCK, The girl who wouldn't have gone to college if it weren't for her horse, Steve Austin, Hacksaw Jim Duggan, Shane Douglas, Steve Corino, Hewlett Packard, Bill Gates, Jack Victory, ROADKILL, Danny Doring, Electra, DAWN MARIE, Justin Credible, Lance Storm: From Calgary...Alberta, Canada, Vito Lagrassi, Mulletts all over the globe, Little Guido, BIG SAL E. GRAZIANO, Tracy Smothers, Make-out fest 1986, Jerry Lynn, Spike Dudley, Mike Awesome, Masato Tanaka, Masahiro Chono, Yoshihiro Tajiri, The Great Muta, g Fresh, INDIANS from CANNIBAL THE MUSICAL, ALFRED PACKER, Juan Swartz, SCHWAN, Humphries, Trey Parker, Matt Stone, Meatloaf, Barbara Streisand, Dale Earnhardt,George Carlin, Jose Canseco, Cream Boxed Sets, THAT LOVELY, LOVELY POETRY BOOK, and of course, PROVIDENCE!

Wootie
- Saturday, December 25, 1999 at 00:59:35 (PST)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Merry Christmas to:





Richard Donald Underwood III
UNCLE David Setliff! ( The accountant )
Jessyca Hope Blankenship
Melissa, Eve, Foster, Brandi, Travis Ray Cole, Wes, The bartender's Ass, Christina, Terry, Culver,Mick Foley, Scruggs, Meachum, Shott, Stonestreet, WENDY BRAY, Burgess, Christen Carper, Jodi Taylor, Elisha Cuppett, Stephanie Fowler, Amanda Cochran, Charles Bently, John Henson, Chris and Beth Henry, Mr. Godfrey, Mr. Bourne, Mr. Hankey, Kenny, Kyle, Cartman, Stan, Beavis, Butt-head, Bo Duke, Luke Duke, Daisy, Uncle Jessie, Rosco P. Colet,rain, Boss Hogg, The 1988 Oakland A's, Droz, Jesus, Satan, Enus, Christopher Walken, Keith Richards, Eric Clapton, Ginger Baker, Jack Bruce, Jeff Beck, Jimmy Page, Joe F. Perry, DMX, ODB, Ja-Rule, Paul Stanley, Gene Simmons, Peter Criss, ACE FREHLEY, Bruce Kulick, Vinnie Vincent, Eric Carr, Eric Singer, Jessica Comer, Barry Dillon, Bigger Thomas, Jared Barker, Shawn Michaels, Jericho, SABU, RVD, Brandy Bagar, Paige Mustard, BROOKE BOURNE, Matthew Wooten, Lala Wooten, James Richard Wooten, Tammy Underwood, Richard Underwood Jr., T-Bone, Cooter, Effie Epperson, Bob Epperson, the one armed guy who hangs around downtown, Thomas J. Whitmore, Bruce Raven, Wedny Bray,Drake Calloway, Stephanie Ballargin (?), Pete, the guys at Anheiser-Busch, Jack Daniels, Jim Bean, Joel "whether at home or here in Dayton the women are watchin me and maturbatin" Gertner, Cyrus, Joey Styles, Anthony Perdue, Spyder Crowley, Johnny Blast, Ward and June, Brian Logan, Joey Morton, Jared Rottenberry, J.D. Rottenberry, Grandmasta Sexxy, Scotty Too Hotty, Danny Cameron, Heather Lyons, Jamie Hypes, Leah Hypes, Michael Williams, Brandon Williams, Last year's French chick, This years french chick, Kelly Howell, Jessica Stamper, Hannah Stamper, Ryan Stamper, Jeff Burnopp, Caressa Barton, her older sister who was cool, Sarah Kinder, Sarah Stevenson, Stephanie Walk, Steve Matthews, Thomas White, Arron Combs, Ben and Jerry, Daniel Mounts, the guy who "raped" Elisha Cuppett, Shannon Stewart, Mike Haddox, the Puppies, Ulysses, GENERAL LEE, KIT, David Hasslehoff, Jan Micheal Vincent, The guy in teh cartoon who turned into his car, the smurfs, the FRAGGLEs, Wendy Bray, Mario and Luigi, Sonic the Hedgehog, Walt Disney's cremated body, Pricess Di (in hell), JFK Jr., Hitler, Musolini, Castro, My Dad's French chick, Bret Hart, Owen Hart, Mike Meyers, Austin Powers, Wayne Cambell, Andy Kaufman, Tony Clifton, Ladka, Jerry "the King" Lawler, The cast of MTV'S "The State", Beth Littleford, Jon Stewart, Mo Rocca, Vance Degeneres, Steve Cobert, Jimmy Kimel, Ben Stein, Adam Corolla, Bill Clinton, His cock, Monica Lewinsky, Linda Tripp, Stephanie Flowers, Paula Jones, Tonya Harding, Nancy Kerrigan, Jeff Goloulee, Lou E. Dnagerously, Tom Petty, Mandy Moore, Britanny Spears, Christina Agulera, Backstreet Boys, N'SYNC, 98 Degrees, 3 count, Fozzy Osbourne, Ozzy Osbourne, Ozzie Osborune, Rob Zombie, Phil Anselmo, Dimebag Darrel, Vinnie Paul, Rex, Waylon Jennings, Wille Nelson, Johnny Cash, Kris Kristopherson, Yoko Ono, Fred Durst, The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, CREAM, Aerosmith, KISS, 80's KISS, Reunited KISS, Wendy bray,Flotsam and Jetsom, Metallica, Metallica w/out Cliff, AC/DC, Motley Crue, Poison, Unskinny Rose, C.C. Deville, Ford Motor COmpany, Steve Mother-fucking Polychronopolous, Adam Sandler, the Chrysler Corp, Every 1969 Dodge Chager every built (particulalry ones painted orange), Oldmobiles, Geos, Breyers Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream, Nicole Johnson, Nicole Perry, Nicole Thompson, Nicole Artrip, Nicole Sullivan, Nicole Baurer,
Nicole-(ous) Cage, Danny Bonaducci, Leif Garret, Donny Osmond, Marie Osmond, Tommy Hilfigger, Wendy Bray,FUBU, Levi, Lee, Wendy's resturaunt chain, niggers everywhere, all the fags, Jews, spics, chinks, japs, honkies, wetbacks, Nazi's, The Axis Powers, No Doubt, Sean Gurtis, Bush, Silverchair, Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Pearl Necklace, Pearl Drums, Pearl S. Buck, Pearly Bowman, Eric Estrada, Every car every blown up on TV or in a cool movie, Arnold Shwartzenager, That skinny bitch off Dateline he's married to, Jane Pauley, Stone Phillips, Tom Brokaw, Dan Rather, Peter Jennings, My insanlely large cock, Bryant Gumball, Katie Kouric, Willard Scott, Al Roker, Matt Lauer, Ronald McDonald, Grimmace, the Hamburgler, Birdie, Mayor McCheese, Bogey, Pammy, Rick, Scott Steiner, Drizzt Do'Urden, Elminister, the Polterguist, the Exorcist, Linda Blair, the Blair Witch, Heather Donahue, Phil Donahue, Rosie O'donnel, Oprah, Harpo Productions, Wendy Bray,Happy Madison Productions, David Spade, Dana Carvey, The 1984 Indianpolis Colts, Garth Algar, The Church Lady, Ross Perot, Micheal Ducockass,
Saddam Hussaine, Macanudo Cigars, Allsop Mousepads, Value Jet, Pan-Am flight 109 over Lockerby Scotland, George Clinton and Parlamental Funk, All the transvestites of the world, all of the transvestites removed penises, Lesbians, Jim Carrey, Ace Ventura, The Cable Guy, Fake Andy Kaufman, Rubberface, Lloyd Christmas, Fender Guitars, Gibson Guitars, Wendy Bray, Les Paul, Leo Fender, Marshall Amplifiers, Michael Jackson, Iron Maiden, Black Sabbath, Matt Glover, All the members of The Razor Blade Cult, Lloyd Bridges, Beau Bridges, Bea Arthur, Estelle Getty, Tim Allen, Abe Lincoln, The hot version of Sigourney Weaver, Al Snow, Al Gets, Al Yankovic, Allen Thick, Dick Clark, Andy Rooney, Andy Rickter, Conan O'Brien, Roger Anderson, Frank Parker, Tori Amos, Jewel, Alex Trebek, Tori Wilson, Pat Sajak, Banjo Kazzooie, Twisted Metal 4, Doink the Clown, Pamela Anderson Lee, Tommy Lee, Alyssa Milano, Wendy Bray,Beth Hash, Ice Cube, Ice Tea, Vanilla Ice, M.C. Hammer, Villanos 1 through 42, Lenny Lane, Lodi, Tommy Orion, Billy Sadler, Benjamin Nyetanyahoo, Lolita Davidovich, Carnie Wilson, Indiana Jones, Han Solo, Luke Skywalker, James T. Kirk, Pubic hair spong, Barney the dinosaur, Big Bird, Snuffallunfagus, Will Smith, Tupac, Puff daddy, Pistacios Nuts, Mr. Peanut, Mr. T, Mr. Belding, Tweek and Craig, Zakk Wylde, Zack Morris, A.C. Slater, Kelly Capowski, Lisa Turtle, Screech, Jesse Spano, Carlos Santana, Wendy Bray, James Hettfield, Lars Ulrich, Kirk Hammet, Jason Newsted, Ralph Lauren, Ralph, Ronald Reagan, Jimmy Carter, George Bush, George Thorogood, David Arquette, Mariah Carey's Tits and Ass, The girl from Disc Jockey with perfect Tits and Ass, The all around hot girl from Sunglass Hut, The woman in Leopard Skin selling copper, The dudes that sell hoods, Tommmy Dreamer, all the guys at Nascar HQ, Tree Hugging Hippie Store, Dip N Dots, KISS dude at Spencers, Carie Worley, David at Kay Bee, Mindboggle, Silent Scope, Tyler Winkler, Henry Winkler, The Fonz, Jonie and Chachie, Richie Cunningham, Scott Bayo, Mel Saunders, Dustin Hoffman, Jack Nickelson, Hal Sparks, Mel Gibson, Bruce Willis, Chuck Norris, Tom Arnold, Walker,Texas Ranger, Randy Rhoads, Suzzanne Somers, Tom Selleck, Magnum P.I., Bert Reynolds, The cast of Riptide, Captain Winkie, Ben Folds Five, Steve Bushemi, Quentin Tarantino, Harvey Kytel, Penis pistol from duck til dawn, Mark Callaway, Salma Hayek, Jennifer Lopez, Daisey Fuetes, CATHERINE-ZETA-JONES, JENNY McCARTHY, Dennis Rodman, CARMAN ELECTRA, Denise Richards, Terri Runnels, Tori, Debra, Ivory, Chyna, Rena Mero, The chick with Black hair that was perfect, chick from Ames, Wendy Bray, Grace Slick, Jefferson Airplane, Clarence "the Fire Breathing Negro", Trojan Man, Julius Ceasar, CALIGULA, Stanley Kubrick, Oliver Stone, JFK, Jackie O, Steven Spielberg, Rob Sneider, George Lucas, Jeremy McGrath, Tony Hawk, Nick, Ryan, Roby and Tyler, Jergens Lotion, Hugo Boss, Squave, 12 dollar shampoo, Dave's Brush, David loves Miss Congeniality, David Horowitz...The Jew! He likes to watch us masterbate and he goes: "Splat splooo slooop" all over us, Rico Squave, Mitch Headberg, Lewis Black, THE ROCK, The girl who wouldn't have gone to college if it weren't for her horse, Steve Austin, Hacksaw Jim Duggan, Shane Douglas, Steve Corino, Hewlett Packard, Bill Gates, Jack Victory, ROADKILL, Danny Doring, Electra, DAWN MARIE, Justin Credible, Lance Storm: From Calgary...Alberta, Canada, Vito Lagrassi, Mulletts all over the globe, Little Guido, BIG SAL E. GRAZIANO, Tracy Smothers, Make-out fest 1986, Jerry Lynn, Spike Dudley, Mike Awesome, Masato Tanaka, Masahiro Chono, Yoshihiro Tajiri, The Great Muta, g Fresh, INDIANS from CANNIBAL THE MUSICAL, ALFRED PACKER, Juan Swartz, SCHWAN, Humphries, Trey Parker, Matt Stone, Meatloaf, Barbara Streisand, Dale Earnhardt,George Carlin, Jose Canseco, Cream Boxed Sets, THAT LOVELY, LOVELY POETRY BOOK, and of course, PROVIDENCE!

Merry Christmas to:





Richard Donald Underwood III
UNCLE David Setliff! ( The accountant )
Jessyca Hope Blankenship
Melissa, Eve, Foster, Brandi, Travis Ray Cole, Wes, The bartender's Ass, Christina, Terry, Culver,Mick Foley, Scruggs, Meachum, Shott, Stonestreet, WENDY BRAY, Burgess, Christen Carper, Jodi Taylor, Elisha Cuppett, Stephanie Fowler, Amanda Cochran, Charles Bently, John Henson, Chris and Beth Henry, Mr. Godfrey, Mr. Bourne, Mr. Hankey, Kenny, Kyle, Cartman, Stan, Beavis, Butt-head, Bo Duke, Luke Duke, Daisy, Uncle Jessie, Rosco P. Colet,rain, Boss Hogg, The 1988 Oakland A's, Droz, Jesus, Satan, Enus, Christopher Walken, Keith Richards, Eric Clapton, Ginger Baker, Jack Bruce, Jeff Beck, Jimmy Page, Joe F. Perry, DMX, ODB, Ja-Rule, Paul Stanley, Gene Simmons, Peter Criss, ACE FREHLEY, Bruce Kulick, Vinnie Vincent, Eric Carr, Eric Singer, Jessica Comer, Barry Dillon, Bigger Thomas, Jared Barker, Shawn Michaels, Jericho, SABU, RVD, Brandy Bagar, Paige Mustard, BROOKE BOURNE, Matthew Wooten, Lala Wooten, James Richard Wooten, Tammy Underwood, Richard Underwood Jr., T-Bone, Cooter, Effie Epperson, Bob Epperson, the one armed guy who hangs around downtown, Thomas J. Whitmore, Bruce Raven, Wedny Bray,Drake Calloway, Stephanie Ballargin (?), Pete, the guys at Anheiser-Busch, Jack Daniels, Jim Bean, Joel "whether at home or here in Dayton the women are watchin me and maturbatin" Gertner, Cyrus, Joey Styles, Anthony Perdue, Spyder Crowley, Johnny Blast, Ward and June, Brian Logan, Joey Morton, Jared Rottenberry, J.D. Rottenberry, Grandmasta Sexxy, Scotty Too Hotty, Danny Cameron, Heather Lyons, Jamie Hypes, Leah Hypes, Michael Williams, Brandon Williams, Last year's French chick, This years french chick, Kelly Howell, Jessica Stamper, Hannah Stamper, Ryan Stamper, Jeff Burnopp, Caressa Barton, her older sister who was cool, Sarah Kinder, Sarah Stevenson, Stephanie Walk, Steve Matthews, Thomas White, Arron Combs, Ben and Jerry, Daniel Mounts, the guy who "raped" Elisha Cuppett, Shannon Stewart, Mike Haddox, the Puppies, Ulysses, GENERAL LEE, KIT, David Hasslehoff, Jan Micheal Vincent, The guy in teh cartoon who turned into his car, the smurfs, the FRAGGLEs, Wendy Bray, Mario and Luigi, Sonic the Hedgehog, Walt Disney's cremated body, Pricess Di (in hell), JFK Jr., Hitler, Musolini, Castro, My Dad's French chick, Bret Hart, Owen Hart, Mike Meyers, Austin Powers, Wayne Cambell, Andy Kaufman, Tony Clifton, Ladka, Jerry "the King" Lawler, The cast of MTV'S "The State", Beth Littleford, Jon Stewart, Mo Rocca, Vance Degeneres, Steve Cobert, Jimmy Kimel, Ben Stein, Adam Corolla, Bill Clinton, His cock, Monica Lewinsky, Linda Tripp, Stephanie Flowers, Paula Jones, Tonya Harding, Nancy Kerrigan, Jeff Goloulee, Lou E. Dnagerously, Tom Petty, Mandy Moore, Britanny Spears, Christina Agulera, Backstreet Boys, N'SYNC, 98 Degrees, 3 count, Fozzy Osbourne, Ozzy Osbourne, Ozzie Osborune, Rob Zombie, Phil Anselmo, Dimebag Darrel, Vinnie Paul, Rex, Waylon Jennings, Wille Nelson, Johnny Cash, Kris Kristopherson, Yoko Ono, Fred Durst, The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, CREAM, Aerosmith, KISS, 80's KISS, Reunited KISS, Wendy bray,Flotsam and Jetsom, Metallica, Metallica w/out Cliff, AC/DC, Motley Crue, Poison, Unskinny Rose, C.C. Deville, Ford Motor COmpany, Steve Mother-fucking Polychronopolous, Adam Sandler, the Chrysler Corp, Every 1969 Dodge Chager every built (particulalry ones painted orange), Oldmobiles, Geos, Breyers Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream, Nicole Johnson, Nicole Perry, Nicole Thompson, Nicole Artrip, Nicole Sullivan, Nicole Baurer,
Nicole-(ous) Cage, Danny Bonaducci, Leif Garret, Donny Osmond, Marie Osmond, Tommy Hilfigger, Wendy Bray,FUBU, Levi, Lee, Wendy's resturaunt chain, niggers everywhere, all the fags, Jews, spics, chinks, japs, honkies, wetbacks, Nazi's, The Axis Powers, No Doubt, Sean Gurtis, Bush, Silverchair, Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Pearl Necklace, Pearl Drums, Pearl S. Buck, Pearly Bowman, Eric Estrada, Every car every blown up on TV or in a cool movie, Arnold Shwartzenager, That skinny bitch off Dateline he's married to, Jane Pauley, Stone Phillips, Tom Brokaw, Dan Rather, Peter Jennings, My insanlely large cock, Bryant Gumball, Katie Kouric, Willard Scott, Al Roker, Matt Lauer, Ronald McDonald, Grimmace, the Hamburgler, Birdie, Mayor McCheese, Bogey, Pammy, Rick, Scott Steiner, Drizzt Do'Urden, Elminister, the Polterguist, the Exorcist, Linda Blair, the Blair Witch, Heather Donahue, Phil Donahue, Rosie O'donnel, Oprah, Harpo Productions, Wendy Bray,Happy Madison Productions, David Spade, Dana Carvey, The 1984 Indianpolis Colts, Garth Algar, The Church Lady, Ross Perot, Micheal Ducockass,
Saddam Hussaine, Macanudo Cigars, Allsop Mousepads, Value Jet, Pan-Am flight 109 over Lockerby Scotland, George Clinton and Parlamental Funk, All the transvestites of the world, all of the transvestites removed penises, Lesbians, Jim Carrey, Ace Ventura, The Cable Guy, Fake Andy Kaufman, Rubberface, Lloyd Christmas, Fender Guitars, Gibson Guitars, Wendy Bray, Les Paul, Leo Fender, Marshall Amplifiers, Michael Jackson, Iron Maiden, Black Sabbath, Matt Glover, All the members of The Razor Blade Cult, Lloyd Bridges, Beau Bridges, Bea Arthur, Estelle Getty, Tim Allen, Abe Lincoln, The hot version of Sigourney Weaver, Al Snow, Al Gets, Al Yankovic, Allen Thick, Dick Clark, Andy Rooney, Andy Rickter, Conan O'Brien, Roger Anderson, Frank Parker, Tori Amos, Jewel, Alex Trebek, Tori Wilson, Pat Sajak, Banjo Kazzooie, Twisted Metal 4, Doink the Clown, Pamela Anderson Lee, Tommy Lee, Alyssa Milano, Wendy Bray,Beth Hash, Ice Cube, Ice Tea, Vanilla Ice, M.C. Hammer, Villanos 1 through 42, Lenny Lane, Lodi, Tommy Orion, Billy Sadler, Benjamin Nyetanyahoo, Lolita Davidovich, Carnie Wilson, Indiana Jones, Han Solo, Luke Skywalker, James T. Kirk, Pubic hair spong, Barney the dinosaur, Big Bird, Snuffallunfagus, Will Smith, Tupac, Puff daddy, Pistacios Nuts, Mr. Peanut, Mr. T, Mr. Belding, Tweek and Craig, Zakk Wylde, Zack Morris, A.C. Slater, Kelly Capowski, Lisa Turtle, Screech, Jesse Spano, Carlos Santana, Wendy Bray, James Hettfield, Lars Ulrich, Kirk Hammet, Jason Newsted, Ralph Lauren, Ralph, Ronald Reagan, Jimmy Carter, George Bush, George Thorogood, David Arquette, Mariah Carey's Tits and Ass, The girl from Disc Jockey with perfect Tits and Ass, The all around hot girl from Sunglass Hut, The woman in Leopard Skin selling copper, The dudes that sell hoods, Tommmy Dreamer, all the guys at Nascar HQ, Tree Hugging Hippie Store, Dip N Dots, KISS dude at Spencers, Carie Worley, David at Kay Bee, Mindboggle, Silent Scope, Tyler Winkler, Henry Winkler, The Fonz, Jonie and Chachie, Richie Cunningham, Scott Bayo, Mel Saunders, Dustin Hoffman, Jack Nickelson, Hal Sparks, Mel Gibson, Bruce Willis, Chuck Norris, Tom Arnold, Walker,Texas Ranger, Randy Rhoads, Suzzanne Somers, Tom Selleck, Magnum P.I., Bert Reynolds, The cast of Riptide, Captain Winkie, Ben Folds Five, Steve Bushemi, Quentin Tarantino, Harvey Kytel, Penis pistol from duck til dawn, Mark Callaway, Salma Hayek, Jennifer Lopez, Daisey Fuetes, CATHERINE-ZETA-JONES, JENNY McCARTHY, Dennis Rodman, CARMAN ELECTRA, Denise Richards, Terri Runnels, Tori, Debra, Ivory, Chyna, Rena Mero, The chick with Black hair that was perfect, chick from Ames, Wendy Bray, Grace Slick, Jefferson Airplane, Clarence "the Fire Breathing Negro", Trojan Man, Julius Ceasar, CALIGULA, Stanley Kubrick, Oliver Stone, JFK, Jackie O, Steven Spielberg, Rob Sneider, George Lucas, Jeremy McGrath, Tony Hawk, Nick, Ryan, Roby and Tyler, Jergens Lotion, Hugo Boss, Squave, 12 dollar shampoo, Dave's Brush, David loves Miss Congeniality, David Horowitz...The Jew! He likes to watch us masterbate and he goes: "Splat splooo slooop" all over us, Rico Squave, Mitch Headberg, Lewis Black, THE ROCK, The girl who wouldn't have gone to college if it weren't for her horse, Steve Austin, Hacksaw Jim Duggan, Shane Douglas, Steve Corino, Hewlett Packard, Bill Gates, Jack Victory, ROADKILL, Danny Doring, Electra, DAWN MARIE, Justin Credible, Lance Storm: From Calgary...Alberta, Canada, Vito Lagrassi, Mulletts all over the globe, Little Guido, BIG SAL E. GRAZIANO, Tracy Smothers, Make-out fest 1986, Jerry Lynn, Spike Dudley, Mike Awesome, Masato Tanaka, Masahiro Chono, Yoshihiro Tajiri, The Great Muta, g Fresh, INDIANS from CANNIBAL THE MUSICAL, ALFRED PACKER, Juan Swartz, SCHWAN, Humphries, Trey Parker, Matt Stone, Meatloaf, Barbara Streisand, Dale Earnhardt,George Carlin, Jose Canseco, Cream Boxed Sets, THAT LOVELY, LOVELY POETRY BOOK, and of course, PROVIDENCE!
Merry Christmas to:





Richard Donald Underwood III
UNCLE David Setliff! ( The accountant )
Jessyca Hope Blankenship
Melissa, Eve, Foster, Brandi, Travis Ray Cole, Wes, The bartender's Ass, Christina, Terry, Culver,Mick Foley, Scruggs, Meachum, Shott, Stonestreet, WENDY BRAY, Burgess, Christen Carper, Jodi Taylor, Elisha Cuppett, Stephanie Fowler, Amanda Cochran, Charles Bently, John Henson, Chris and Beth Henry, Mr. Godfrey, Mr. Bourne, Mr. Hankey, Kenny, Kyle, Cartman, Stan, Beavis, Butt-head, Bo Duke, Luke Duke, Daisy, Uncle Jessie, Rosco P. Colet,rain, Boss Hogg, The 1988 Oakland A's, Droz, Jesus, Satan, Enus, Christopher Walken, Keith Richards, Eric Clapton, Ginger Baker, Jack Bruce, Jeff Beck, Jimmy Page, Joe F. Perry, DMX, ODB, Ja-Rule, Paul Stanley, Gene Simmons, Peter Criss, ACE FREHLEY, Bruce Kulick, Vinnie Vincent, Eric Carr, Eric Singer, Jessica Comer, Barry Dillon, Bigger Thomas, Jared Barker, Shawn Michaels, Jericho, SABU, RVD, Brandy Bagar, Paige Mustard, BROOKE BOURNE, Matthew Wooten, Lala Wooten, James Richard Wooten, Tammy Underwood, Richard Underwood Jr., T-Bone, Cooter, Effie Epperson, Bob Epperson, the one armed guy who hangs around downtown, Thomas J. Whitmore, Bruce Raven, Wedny Bray,Drake Calloway, Stephanie Ballargin (?), Pete, the guys at Anheiser-Busch, Jack Daniels, Jim Bean, Joel "whether at home or here in Dayton the women are watchin me and maturbatin" Gertner, Cyrus, Joey Styles, Anthony Perdue, Spyder Crowley, Johnny Blast, Ward and June, Brian Logan, Joey Morton, Jared Rottenberry, J.D. Rottenberry, Grandmasta Sexxy, Scotty Too Hotty, Danny Cameron, Heather Lyons, Jamie Hypes, Leah Hypes, Michael Williams, Brandon Williams, Last year's French chick, This years french chick, Kelly Howell, Jessica Stamper, Hannah Stamper, Ryan Stamper, Jeff Burnopp, Caressa Barton, her older sister who was cool, Sarah Kinder, Sarah Stevenson, Stephanie Walk, Steve Matthews, Thomas White, Arron Combs, Ben and Jerry, Daniel Mounts, the guy who "raped" Elisha Cuppett, Shannon Stewart, Mike Haddox, the Puppies, Ulysses, GENERAL LEE, KIT, David Hasslehoff, Jan Micheal Vincent, The guy in teh cartoon who turned into his car, the smurfs, the FRAGGLEs, Wendy Bray, Mario and Luigi, Sonic the Hedgehog, Walt Disney's cremated body, Pricess Di (in hell), JFK Jr., Hitler, Musolini, Castro, My Dad's French chick, Bret Hart, Owen Hart, Mike Meyers, Austin Powers, Wayne Cambell, Andy Kaufman, Tony Clifton, Ladka, Jerry "the King" Lawler, The cast of MTV'S "The State", Beth Littleford, Jon Stewart, Mo Rocca, Vance Degeneres, Steve Cobert, Jimmy Kimel, Ben Stein, Adam Corolla, Bill Clinton, His cock, Monica Lewinsky, Linda Tripp, Stephanie Flowers, Paula Jones, Tonya Harding, Nancy Kerrigan, Jeff Goloulee, Lou E. Dnagerously, Tom Petty, Mandy Moore, Britanny Spears, Christina Agulera, Backstreet Boys, N'SYNC, 98 Degrees, 3 count, Fozzy Osbourne, Ozzy Osbourne, Ozzie Osborune, Rob Zombie, Phil Anselmo, Dimebag Darrel, Vinnie Paul, Rex, Waylon Jennings, Wille Nelson, Johnny Cash, Kris Kristopherson, Yoko Ono, Fred Durst, The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, CREAM, Aerosmith, KISS, 80's KISS, Reunited KISS, Wendy bray,Flotsam and Jetsom, Metallica, Metallica w/out Cliff, AC/DC, Motley Crue, Poison, Unskinny Rose, C.C. Deville, Ford Motor COmpany, Steve Mother-fucking Polychronopolous, Adam Sandler, the Chrysler Corp, Every 1969 Dodge Chager every built (particulalry ones painted orange), Oldmobiles, Geos, Breyers Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream, Nicole Johnson, Nicole Perry, Nicole Thompson, Nicole Artrip, Nicole Sullivan, Nicole Baurer,
Nicole-(ous) Cage, Danny Bonaducci, Leif Garret, Donny Osmond, Marie Osmond, Tommy Hilfigger, Wendy Bray,FUBU, Levi, Lee, Wendy's resturaunt chain, niggers everywhere, all the fags, Jews, spics, chinks, japs, honkies, wetbacks, Nazi's, The Axis Powers, No Doubt, Sean Gurtis, Bush, Silverchair, Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Pearl Necklace, Pearl Drums, Pearl S. Buck, Pearly Bowman, Eric Estrada, Every car every blown up on TV or in a cool movie, Arnold Shwartzenager, That skinny bitch off Dateline he's married to, Jane Pauley, Stone Phillips, Tom Brokaw, Dan Rather, Peter Jennings, My insanlely large cock, Bryant Gumball, Katie Kouric, Willard Scott, Al Roker, Matt Lauer, Ronald McDonald, Grimmace, the Hamburgler, Birdie, Mayor McCheese, Bogey, Pammy, Rick, Scott Steiner, Drizzt Do'Urden, Elminister, the Polterguist, the Exorcist, Linda Blair, the Blair Witch, Heather Donahue, Phil Donahue, Rosie O'donnel, Oprah, Harpo Productions, Wendy Bray,Happy Madison Productions, David Spade, Dana Carvey, The 1984 Indianpolis Colts, Garth Algar, The Church Lady, Ross Perot, Micheal Ducockass,
Saddam Hussaine, Macanudo Cigars, Allsop Mousepads, Value Jet, Pan-Am flight 109 over Lockerby Scotland, George Clinton and Parlamental Funk, All the transvestites of the world, all of the transvestites removed penises, Lesbians, Jim Carrey, Ace Ventura, The Cable Guy, Fake Andy Kaufman, Rubberface, Lloyd Christmas, Fender Guitars, Gibson Guitars, Wendy Bray, Les Paul, Leo Fender, Marshall Amplifiers, Michael Jackson, Iron Maiden, Black Sabbath, Matt Glover, All the members of The Razor Blade Cult, Lloyd Bridges, Beau Bridges, Bea Arthur, Estelle Getty, Tim Allen, Abe Lincoln, The hot version of Sigourney Weaver, Al Snow, Al Gets, Al Yankovic, Allen Thick, Dick Clark, Andy Rooney, Andy Rickter, Conan O'Brien, Roger Anderson, Frank Parker, Tori Amos, Jewel, Alex Trebek, Tori Wilson, Pat Sajak, Banjo Kazzooie, Twisted Metal 4, Doink the Clown, Pamela Anderson Lee, Tommy Lee, Alyssa Milano, Wendy Bray,Beth Hash, Ice Cube, Ice Tea, Vanilla Ice, M.C. Hammer, Villanos 1 through 42, Lenny Lane, Lodi, Tommy Orion, Billy Sadler, Benjamin Nyetanyahoo, Lolita Davidovich, Carnie Wilson, Indiana Jones, Han Solo, Luke Skywalker, James T. Kirk, Pubic hair spong, Barney the dinosaur, Big Bird, Snuffallunfagus, Will Smith, Tupac, Puff daddy, Pistacios Nuts, Mr. Peanut, Mr. T, Mr. Belding, Tweek and Craig, Zakk Wylde, Zack Morris, A.C. Slater, Kelly Capowski, Lisa Turtle, Screech, Jesse Spano, Carlos Santana, Wendy Bray, James Hettfield, Lars Ulrich, Kirk Hammet, Jason Newsted, Ralph Lauren, Ralph, Ronald Reagan, Jimmy Carter, George Bush, George Thorogood, David Arquette, Mariah Carey's Tits and Ass, The girl from Disc Jockey with perfect Tits and Ass, The all around hot girl from Sunglass Hut, The woman in Leopard Skin selling copper, The dudes that sell hoods, Tommmy Dreamer, all the guys at Nascar HQ, Tree Hugging Hippie Store, Dip N Dots, KISS dude at Spencers, Carie Worley, David at Kay Bee, Mindboggle, Silent Scope, Tyler Winkler, Henry Winkler, The Fonz, Jonie and Chachie, Richie Cunningham, Scott Bayo, Mel Saunders, Dustin Hoffman, Jack Nickelson, Hal Sparks, Mel Gibson, Bruce Willis, Chuck Norris, Tom Arnold, Walker,Texas Ranger, Randy Rhoads, Suzzanne Somers, Tom Selleck, Magnum P.I., Bert Reynolds, The cast of Riptide, Captain Winkie, Ben Folds Five, Steve Bushemi, Quentin Tarantino, Harvey Kytel, Penis pistol from duck til dawn, Mark Callaway, Salma Hayek, Jennifer Lopez, Daisey Fuetes, CATHERINE-ZETA-JONES, JENNY McCARTHY, Dennis Rodman, CARMAN ELECTRA, Denise Richards, Terri Runnels, Tori, Debra, Ivory, Chyna, Rena Mero, The chick with Black hair that was perfect, chick from Ames, Wendy Bray, Grace Slick, Jefferson Airplane, Clarence "the Fire Breathing Negro", Trojan Man, Julius Ceasar, CALIGULA, Stanley Kubrick, Oliver Stone, JFK, Jackie O, Steven Spielberg, Rob Sneider, George Lucas, Jeremy McGrath, Tony Hawk, Nick, Ryan, Roby and Tyler, Jergens Lotion, Hugo Boss, Squave, 12 dollar shampoo, Dave's Brush, David loves Miss Congeniality, David Horowitz...The Jew! He likes to watch us masterbate and he goes: "Splat splooo slooop" all over us, Rico Squave, Mitch Headberg, Lewis Black, THE ROCK, The girl who wouldn't have gone to college if it weren't for her horse, Steve Austin, Hacksaw Jim Duggan, Shane Douglas, Steve Corino, Hewlett Packard, Bill Gates, Jack Victory, ROADKILL, Danny Doring, Electra, DAWN MARIE, Justin Credible, Lance Storm: From Calgary...Alberta, Canada, Vito Lagrassi, Mulletts all over the globe, Little Guido, BIG SAL E. GRAZIANO, Tracy Smothers, Make-out fest 1986, Jerry Lynn, Spike Dudley, Mike Awesome, Masato Tanaka, Masahiro Chono, Yoshihiro Tajiri, The Great Muta, g Fresh, INDIANS from CANNIBAL THE MUSICAL, ALFRED PACKER, Juan Swartz, SCHWAN, Humphries, Trey Parker, Matt Stone, Meatloaf, Barbara Streisand, Dale Earnhardt,George Carlin, Jose Canseco, Cream Boxed Sets, THAT LOVELY, LOVELY POETRY BOOK, and of course, PROVIDENCE!
Merry Christmas to:





Richard Donald Underwood III
UNCLE David Setliff! ( The accountant )
Jessyca Hope Blankenship
Melissa, Eve, Foster, Brandi, Travis Ray Cole, Wes, The bartender's Ass, Christina, Terry, Culver,Mick Foley, Scruggs, Meachum, Shott, Stonestreet, WENDY BRAY, Burgess, Christen Carper, Jodi Taylor, Elisha Cuppett, Stephanie Fowler, Amanda Cochran, Charles Bently, John Henson, Chris and Beth Henry, Mr. Godfrey, Mr. Bourne, Mr. Hankey, Kenny, Kyle, Cartman, Stan, Beavis, Butt-head, Bo Duke, Luke Duke, Daisy, Uncle Jessie, Rosco P. Colet,rain, Boss Hogg, The 1988 Oakland A's, Droz, Jesus, Satan, Enus, Christopher Walken, Keith Richards, Eric Clapton, Ginger Baker, Jack Bruce, Jeff Beck, Jimmy Page, Joe F. Perry, DMX, ODB, Ja-Rule, Paul Stanley, Gene Simmons, Peter Criss, ACE FREHLEY, Bruce Kulick, Vinnie Vincent, Eric Carr, Eric Singer, Jessica Comer, Barry Dillon, Bigger Thomas, Jared Barker, Shawn Michaels, Jericho, SABU, RVD, Brandy Bagar, Paige Mustard, BROOKE BOURNE, Matthew Wooten, Lala Wooten, James Richard Wooten, Tammy Underwood, Richard Underwood Jr., T-Bone, Cooter, Effie Epperson, Bob Epperson, the one armed guy who hangs around downtown, Thomas J. Whitmore, Bruce Raven, Wedny Bray,Drake Calloway, Stephanie Ballargin (?), Pete, the guys at Anheiser-Busch, Jack Daniels, Jim Bean, Joel "whether at home or here in Dayton the women are watchin me and maturbatin" Gertner, Cyrus, Joey Styles, Anthony Perdue, Spyder Crowley, Johnny Blast, Ward and June, Brian Logan, Joey Morton, Jared Rottenberry, J.D. Rottenberry, Grandmasta Sexxy, Scotty Too Hotty, Danny Cameron, Heather Lyons, Jamie Hypes, Leah Hypes, Michael Williams, Brandon Williams, Last year's French chick, This years french chick, Kelly Howell, Jessica Stamper, Hannah Stamper, Ryan Stamper, Jeff Burnopp, Caressa Barton, her older sister who was cool, Sarah Kinder, Sarah Stevenson, Stephanie Walk, Steve Matthews, Thomas White, Arron Combs, Ben and Jerry, Daniel Mounts, the guy who "raped" Elisha Cuppett, Shannon Stewart, Mike Haddox, the Puppies, Ulysses, GENERAL LEE, KIT, David Hasslehoff, Jan Micheal Vincent, The guy in teh cartoon who turned into his car, the smurfs, the FRAGGLEs, Wendy Bray, Mario and Luigi, Sonic the Hedgehog, Walt Disney's cremated body, Pricess Di (in hell), JFK Jr., Hitler, Musolini, Castro, My Dad's French chick, Bret Hart, Owen Hart, Mike Meyers, Austin Powers, Wayne Cambell, Andy Kaufman, Tony Clifton, Ladka, Jerry "the King" Lawler, The cast of MTV'S "The State", Beth Littleford, Jon Stewart, Mo Rocca, Vance Degeneres, Steve Cobert, Jimmy Kimel, Ben Stein, Adam Corolla, Bill Clinton, His cock, Monica Lewinsky, Linda Tripp, Stephanie Flowers, Paula Jones, Tonya Harding, Nancy Kerrigan, Jeff Goloulee, Lou E. Dnagerously, Tom Petty, Mandy Moore, Britanny Spears, Christina Agulera, Backstreet Boys, N'SYNC, 98 Degrees, 3 count, Fozzy Osbourne, Ozzy Osbourne, Ozzie Osborune, Rob Zombie, Phil Anselmo, Dimebag Darrel, Vinnie Paul, Rex, Waylon Jennings, Wille Nelson, Johnny Cash, Kris Kristopherson, Yoko Ono, Fred Durst, The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, CREAM, Aerosmith, KISS, 80's KISS, Reunited KISS, Wendy bray,Flotsam and Jetsom, Metallica, Metallica w/out Cliff, AC/DC, Motley Crue, Poison, Unskinny Rose, C.C. Deville, Ford Motor COmpany, Steve Mother-fucking Polychronopolous, Adam Sandler, the Chrysler Corp, Every 1969 Dodge Chager every built (particulalry ones painted orange), Oldmobiles, Geos, Breyers Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream, Nicole Johnson, Nicole Perry, Nicole Thompson, Nicole Artrip, Nicole Sullivan, Nicole Baurer,
Nicole-(ous) Cage, Danny Bonaducci, Leif Garret, Donny Osmond, Marie Osmond, Tommy Hilfigger, Wendy Bray,FUBU, Levi, Lee, Wendy's resturaunt chain, niggers everywhere, all the fags, Jews, spics, chinks, japs, honkies, wetbacks, Nazi's, The Axis Powers, No Doubt, Sean Gurtis, Bush, Silverchair, Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Pearl Necklace, Pearl Drums, Pearl S. Buck, Pearly Bowman, Eric Estrada, Every car every blown up on TV or in a cool movie, Arnold Shwartzenager, That skinny bitch off Dateline he's married to, Jane Pauley, Stone Phillips, Tom Brokaw, Dan Rather, Peter Jennings, My insanlely large cock, Bryant Gumball, Katie Kouric, Willard Scott, Al Roker, Matt Lauer, Ronald McDonald, Grimmace, the Hamburgler, Birdie, Mayor McCheese, Bogey, Pammy, Rick, Scott Steiner, Drizzt Do'Urden, Elminister, the Polterguist, the Exorcist, Linda Blair, the Blair Witch, Heather Donahue, Phil Donahue, Rosie O'donnel, Oprah, Harpo Productions, Wendy Bray,Happy Madison Productions, David Spade, Dana Carvey, The 1984 Indianpolis Colts, Garth Algar, The Church Lady, Ross Perot, Micheal Ducockass,
Saddam Hussaine, Macanudo Cigars, Allsop Mousepads, Value Jet, Pan-Am flight 109 over Lockerby Scotland, George Clinton and Parlamental Funk, All the transvestites of the world, all of the transvestites removed penises, Lesbians, Jim Carrey, Ace Ventura, The Cable Guy, Fake Andy Kaufman, Rubberface, Lloyd Christmas, Fender Guitars, Gibson Guitars, Wendy Bray, Les Paul, Leo Fender, Marshall Amplifiers, Michael Jackson, Iron Maiden, Black Sabbath, Matt Glover, All the members of The Razor Blade Cult, Lloyd Bridges, Beau Bridges, Bea Arthur, Estelle Getty, Tim Allen, Abe Lincoln, The hot version of Sigourney Weaver, Al Snow, Al Gets, Al Yankovic, Allen Thick, Dick Clark, Andy Rooney, Andy Rickter, Conan O'Brien, Roger Anderson, Frank Parker, Tori Amos, Jewel, Alex Trebek, Tori Wilson, Pat Sajak, Banjo Kazzooie, Twisted Metal 4, Doink the Clown, Pamela Anderson Lee, Tommy Lee, Alyssa Milano, Wendy Bray,Beth Hash, Ice Cube, Ice Tea, Vanilla Ice, M.C. Hammer, Villanos 1 through 42, Lenny Lane, Lodi, Tommy Orion, Billy Sadler, Benjamin Nyetanyahoo, Lolita Davidovich, Carnie Wilson, Indiana Jones, Han Solo, Luke Skywalker, James T. Kirk, Pubic hair spong, Barney the dinosaur, Big Bird, Snuffallunfagus, Will Smith, Tupac, Puff daddy, Pistacios Nuts, Mr. Peanut, Mr. T, Mr. Belding, Tweek and Craig, Zakk Wylde, Zack Morris, A.C. Slater, Kelly Capowski, Lisa Turtle, Screech, Jesse Spano, Carlos Santana, Wendy Bray, James Hettfield, Lars Ulrich, Kirk Hammet, Jason Newsted, Ralph Lauren, Ralph, Ronald Reagan, Jimmy Carter, George Bush, George Thorogood, David Arquette, Mariah Carey's Tits and Ass, The girl from Disc Jockey with perfect Tits and Ass, The all around hot girl from Sunglass Hut, The woman in Leopard Skin selling copper, The dudes that sell hoods, Tommmy Dreamer, all the guys at Nascar HQ, Tree Hugging Hippie Store, Dip N Dots, KISS dude at Spencers, Carie Worley, David at Kay Bee, Mindboggle, Silent Scope, Tyler Winkler, Henry Winkler, The Fonz, Jonie and Chachie, Richie Cunningham, Scott Bayo, Mel Saunders, Dustin Hoffman, Jack Nickelson, Hal Sparks, Mel Gibson, Bruce Willis, Chuck Norris, Tom Arnold, Walker,Texas Ranger, Randy Rhoads, Suzzanne Somers, Tom Selleck, Magnum P.I., Bert Reynolds, The cast of Riptide, Captain Winkie, Ben Folds Five, Steve Bushemi, Quentin Tarantino, Harvey Kytel, Penis pistol from duck til dawn, Mark Callaway, Salma Hayek, Jennifer Lopez, Daisey Fuetes, CATHERINE-ZETA-JONES, JENNY McCARTHY, Dennis Rodman, CARMAN ELECTRA, Denise Richards, Terri Runnels, Tori, Debra, Ivory, Chyna, Rena Mero, The chick with Black hair that was perfect, chick from Ames, Wendy Bray, Grace Slick, Jefferson Airplane, Clarence "the Fire Breathing Negro", Trojan Man, Julius Ceasar, CALIGULA, Stanley Kubrick, Oliver Stone, JFK, Jackie O, Steven Spielberg, Rob Sneider, George Lucas, Jeremy McGrath, Tony Hawk, Nick, Ryan, Roby and Tyler, Jergens Lotion, Hugo Boss, Squave, 12 dollar shampoo, Dave's Brush, David loves Miss Congeniality, David Horowitz...The Jew! He likes to watch us masterbate and he goes: "Splat splooo slooop" all over us, Rico Squave, Mitch Headberg, Lewis Black, THE ROCK, The girl who wouldn't have gone to college if it weren't for her horse, Steve Austin, Hacksaw Jim Duggan, Shane Douglas, Steve Corino, Hewlett Packard, Bill Gates, Jack Victory, ROADKILL, Danny Doring, Electra, DAWN MARIE, Justin Credible, Lance Storm: From Calgary...Alberta, Canada, Vito Lagrassi, Mulletts all over the globe, Little Guido, BIG SAL E. GRAZIANO, Tracy Smothers, Make-out fest 1986, Jerry Lynn, Spike Dudley, Mike Awesome, Masato Tanaka, Masahiro Chono, Yoshihiro Tajiri, The Great Muta, g Fresh, INDIANS from CANNIBAL THE MUSICAL, ALFRED PACKER, Juan Swartz, SCHWAN, Humphries, Trey Parker, Matt Stone, Meatloaf, Barbara Streisand, Dale Earnhardt,George Carlin, Jose Canseco, Cream Boxed Sets, THAT LOVELY, LOVELY POETRY BOOK, and of course, PROVIDENCE!
Merry Christmas to:





Richard Donald Underwood III
UNCLE David Setliff! ( The accountant )
Jessyca Hope Blankenship
Melissa, Eve, Foster, Brandi, Travis Ray Cole, Wes, The bartender's Ass, Christina, Terry, Culver,Mick Foley, Scruggs, Meachum, Shott, Stonestreet, WENDY BRAY, Burgess, Christen Carper, Jodi Taylor, Elisha Cuppett, Stephanie Fowler, Amanda Cochran, Charles Bently, John Henson, Chris and Beth Henry, Mr. Godfrey, Mr. Bourne, Mr. Hankey, Kenny, Kyle, Cartman, Stan, Beavis, Butt-head, Bo Duke, Luke Duke, Daisy, Uncle Jessie, Rosco P. Colet,rain, Boss Hogg, The 1988 Oakland A's, Droz, Jesus, Satan, Enus, Christopher Walken, Keith Richards, Eric Clapton, Ginger Baker, Jack Bruce, Jeff Beck, Jimmy Page, Joe F. Perry, DMX, ODB, Ja-Rule, Paul Stanley, Gene Simmons, Peter Criss, ACE FREHLEY, Bruce Kulick, Vinnie Vincent, Eric Carr, Eric Singer, Jessica Comer, Barry Dillon, Bigger Thomas, Jared Barker, Shawn Michaels, Jericho, SABU, RVD, Brandy Bagar, Paige Mustard, BROOKE BOURNE, Matthew Wooten, Lala Wooten, James Richard Wooten, Tammy Underwood, Richard Underwood Jr., T-Bone, Cooter, Effie Epperson, Bob Epperson, the one armed guy who hangs around downtown, Thomas J. Whitmore, Bruce Raven, Wedny Bray,Drake Calloway, Stephanie Ballargin (?), Pete, the guys at Anheiser-Busch, Jack Daniels, Jim Bean, Joel "whether at home or here in Dayton the women are watchin me and maturbatin" Gertner, Cyrus, Joey Styles, Anthony Perdue, Spyder Crowley, Johnny Blast, Ward and June, Brian Logan, Joey Morton, Jared Rottenberry, J.D. Rottenberry, Grandmasta Sexxy, Scotty Too Hotty, Danny Cameron, Heather Lyons, Jamie Hypes, Leah Hypes, Michael Williams, Brandon Williams, Last year's French chick, This years french chick, Kelly Howell, Jessica Stamper, Hannah Stamper, Ryan Stamper, Jeff Burnopp, Caressa Barton, her older sister who was cool, Sarah Kinder, Sarah Stevenson, Stephanie Walk, Steve Matthews, Thomas White, Arron Combs, Ben and Jerry, Daniel Mounts, the guy who "raped" Elisha Cuppett, Shannon Stewart, Mike Haddox, the Puppies, Ulysses, GENERAL LEE, KIT, David Hasslehoff, Jan Micheal Vincent, The guy in teh cartoon who turned into his car, the smurfs, the FRAGGLEs, Wendy Bray, Mario and Luigi, Sonic the Hedgehog, Walt Disney's cremated body, Pricess Di (in hell), JFK Jr., Hitler, Musolini, Castro, My Dad's French chick, Bret Hart, Owen Hart, Mike Meyers, Austin Powers, Wayne Cambell, Andy Kaufman, Tony Clifton, Ladka, Jerry "the King" Lawler, The cast of MTV'S "The State", Beth Littleford, Jon Stewart, Mo Rocca, Vance Degeneres, Steve Cobert, Jimmy Kimel, Ben Stein, Adam Corolla, Bill Clinton, His cock, Monica Lewinsky, Linda Tripp, Stephanie Flowers, Paula Jones, Tonya Harding, Nancy Kerrigan, Jeff Goloulee, Lou E. Dnagerously, Tom Petty, Mandy Moore, Britanny Spears, Christina Agulera, Backstreet Boys, N'SYNC, 98 Degrees, 3 count, Fozzy Osbourne, Ozzy Osbourne, Ozzie Osborune, Rob Zombie, Phil Anselmo, Dimebag Darrel, Vinnie Paul, Rex, Waylon Jennings, Wille Nelson, Johnny Cash, Kris Kristopherson, Yoko Ono, Fred Durst, The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, CREAM, Aerosmith, KISS, 80's KISS, Reunited KISS, Wendy bray,Flotsam and Jetsom, Metallica, Metallica w/out Cliff, AC/DC, Motley Crue, Poison, Unskinny Rose, C.C. Deville, Ford Motor COmpany, Steve Mother-fucking Polychronopolous, Adam Sandler, the Chrysler Corp, Every 1969 Dodge Chager every built (particulalry ones painted orange), Oldmobiles, Geos, Breyers Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream, Nicole Johnson, Nicole Perry, Nicole Thompson, Nicole Artrip, Nicole Sullivan, Nicole Baurer,
Nicole-(ous) Cage, Danny Bonaducci, Leif Garret, Donny Osmond, Marie Osmond, Tommy Hilfigger, Wendy Bray,FUBU, Levi, Lee, Wendy's resturaunt chain, niggers everywhere, all the fags, Jews, spics, chinks, japs, honkies, wetbacks, Nazi's, The Axis Powers, No Doubt, Sean Gurtis, Bush, Silverchair, Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Pearl Necklace, Pearl Drums, Pearl S. Buck, Pearly Bowman, Eric Estrada, Every car every blown up on TV or in a cool movie, Arnold Shwartzenager, That skinny bitch off Dateline he's married to, Jane Pauley, Stone Phillips, Tom Brokaw, Dan Rather, Peter Jennings, My insanlely large cock, Bryant Gumball, Katie Kouric, Willard Scott, Al Roker, Matt Lauer, Ronald McDonald, Grimmace, the Hamburgler, Birdie, Mayor McCheese, Bogey, Pammy, Rick, Scott Steiner, Drizzt Do'Urden, Elminister, the Polterguist, the Exorcist, Linda Blair, the Blair Witch, Heather Donahue, Phil Donahue, Rosie O'donnel, Oprah, Harpo Productions, Wendy Bray,Happy Madison Productions, David Spade, Dana Carvey, The 1984 Indianpolis Colts, Garth Algar, The Church Lady, Ross Perot, Micheal Ducockass,
Saddam Hussaine, Macanudo Cigars, Allsop Mousepads, Value Jet, Pan-Am flight 109 over Lockerby Scotland, George Clinton and Parlamental Funk, All the transvestites of the world, all of the transvestites removed penises, Lesbians, Jim Carrey, Ace Ventura, The Cable Guy, Fake Andy Kaufman, Rubberface, Lloyd Christmas, Fender Guitars, Gibson Guitars, Wendy Bray, Les Paul, Leo Fender, Marshall Amplifiers, Michael Jackson, Iron Maiden, Black Sabbath, Matt Glover, All the members of The Razor Blade Cult, Lloyd Bridges, Beau Bridges, Bea Arthur, Estelle Getty, Tim Allen, Abe Lincoln, The hot version of Sigourney Weaver, Al Snow, Al Gets, Al Yankovic, Allen Thick, Dick Clark, Andy Rooney, Andy Rickter, Conan O'Brien, Roger Anderson, Frank Parker, Tori Amos, Jewel, Alex Trebek, Tori Wilson, Pat Sajak, Banjo Kazzooie, Twisted Metal 4, Doink the Clown, Pamela Anderson Lee, Tommy Lee, Alyssa Milano, Wendy Bray,Beth Hash, Ice Cube, Ice Tea, Vanilla Ice, M.C. Hammer, Villanos 1 through 42, Lenny Lane, Lodi, Tommy Orion, Billy Sadler, Benjamin Nyetanyahoo, Lolita Davidovich, Carnie Wilson, Indiana Jones, Han Solo, Luke Skywalker, James T. Kirk, Pubic hair spong, Barney the dinosaur, Big Bird, Snuffallunfagus, Will Smith, Tupac, Puff daddy, Pistacios Nuts, Mr. Peanut, Mr. T, Mr. Belding, Tweek and Craig, Zakk Wylde, Zack Morris, A.C. Slater, Kelly Capowski, Lisa Turtle, Screech, Jesse Spano, Carlos Santana, Wendy Bray, James Hettfield, Lars Ulrich, Kirk Hammet, Jason Newsted, Ralph Lauren, Ralph, Ronald Reagan, Jimmy Carter, George Bush, George Thorogood, David Arquette, Mariah Carey's Tits and Ass, The girl from Disc Jockey with perfect Tits and Ass, The all around hot girl from Sunglass Hut, The woman in Leopard Skin selling copper, The dudes that sell hoods, Tommmy Dreamer, all the guys at Nascar HQ, Tree Hugging Hippie Store, Dip N Dots, KISS dude at Spencers, Carie Worley, David at Kay Bee, Mindboggle, Silent Scope, Tyler Winkler, Henry Winkler, The Fonz, Jonie and Chachie, Richie Cunningham, Scott Bayo, Mel Saunders, Dustin Hoffman, Jack Nickelson, Hal Sparks, Mel Gibson, Bruce Willis, Chuck Norris, Tom Arnold, Walker,Texas Ranger, Randy Rhoads, Suzzanne Somers, Tom Selleck, Magnum P.I., Bert Reynolds, The cast of Riptide, Captain Winkie, Ben Folds Five, Steve Bushemi, Quentin Tarantino, Harvey Kytel, Penis pistol from duck til dawn, Mark Callaway, Salma Hayek, Jennifer Lopez, Daisey Fuetes, CATHERINE-ZETA-JONES, JENNY McCARTHY, Dennis Rodman, CARMAN ELECTRA, Denise Richards, Terri Runnels, Tori, Debra, Ivory, Chyna, Rena Mero, The chick with Black hair that was perfect, chick from Ames, Wendy Bray, Grace Slick, Jefferson Airplane, Clarence "the Fire Breathing Negro", Trojan Man, Julius Ceasar, CALIGULA, Stanley Kubrick, Oliver Stone, JFK, Jackie O, Steven Spielberg, Rob Sneider, George Lucas, Jeremy McGrath, Tony Hawk, Nick, Ryan, Roby and Tyler, Jergens Lotion, Hugo Boss, Squave, 12 dollar shampoo, Dave's Brush, David loves Miss Congeniality, David Horowitz...The Jew! He likes to watch us masterbate and he goes: "Splat splooo slooop" all over us, Rico Squave, Mitch Headberg, Lewis Black, THE ROCK, The girl who wouldn't have gone to college if it weren't for her horse, Steve Austin, Hacksaw Jim Duggan, Shane Douglas, Steve Corino, Hewlett Packard, Bill Gates, Jack Victory, ROADKILL, Danny Doring, Electra, DAWN MARIE, Justin Credible, Lance Storm: From Calgary...Alberta, Canada, Vito Lagrassi, Mulletts all over the globe, Little Guido, BIG SAL E. GRAZIANO, Tracy Smothers, Make-out fest 1986, Jerry Lynn, Spike Dudley, Mike Awesome, Masato Tanaka, Masahiro Chono, Yoshihiro Tajiri, The Great Muta, g Fresh, INDIANS from CANNIBAL THE MUSICAL, ALFRED PACKER, Juan Swartz, SCHWAN, Humphries, Trey Parker, Matt Stone, Meatloaf, Barbara Streisand, Dale Earnhardt,George Carlin, Jose Canseco, Cream Boxed Sets, THAT LOVELY, LOVELY POETRY BOOK, and of course, PROVIDENCE!
Merry Christmas to:





Richard Donald Underwood III
UNCLE David Setliff! ( The accountant )
Jessyca Hope Blankenship
Melissa, Eve, Foster, Brandi, Travis Ray Cole, Wes, The bartender's Ass, Christina, Terry, Culver,Mick Foley, Scruggs, Meachum, Shott, Stonestreet, WENDY BRAY, Burgess, Christen Carper, Jodi Taylor, Elisha Cuppett, Stephanie Fowler, Amanda Cochran, Charles Bently, John Henson, Chris and Beth Henry, Mr. Godfrey, Mr. Bourne, Mr. Hankey, Kenny, Kyle, Cartman, Stan, Beavis, Butt-head, Bo Duke, Luke Duke, Daisy, Uncle Jessie, Rosco P. Colet,rain, Boss Hogg, The 1988 Oakland A's, Droz, Jesus, Satan, Enus, Christopher Walken, Keith Richards, Eric Clapton, Ginger Baker, Jack Bruce, Jeff Beck, Jimmy Page, Joe F. Perry, DMX, ODB, Ja-Rule, Paul Stanley, Gene Simmons, Peter Criss, ACE FREHLEY, Bruce Kulick, Vinnie Vincent, Eric Carr, Eric Singer, Jessica Comer, Barry Dillon, Bigger Thomas, Jared Barker, Shawn Michaels, Jericho, SABU, RVD, Brandy Bagar, Paige Mustard, BROOKE BOURNE, Matthew Wooten, Lala Wooten, James Richard Wooten, Tammy Underwood, Richard Underwood Jr., T-Bone, Cooter, Effie Epperson, Bob Epperson, the one armed guy who hangs around downtown, Thomas J. Whitmore, Bruce Raven, Wedny Bray,Drake Calloway, Stephanie Ballargin (?), Pete, the guys at Anheiser-Busch, Jack Daniels, Jim Bean, Joel "whether at home or here in Dayton the women are watchin me and maturbatin" Gertner, Cyrus, Joey Styles, Anthony Perdue, Spyder Crowley, Johnny Blast, Ward and June, Brian Logan, Joey Morton, Jared Rottenberry, J.D. Rottenberry, Grandmasta Sexxy, Scotty Too Hotty, Danny Cameron, Heather Lyons, Jamie Hypes, Leah Hypes, Michael Williams, Brandon Williams, Last year's French chick, This years french chick, Kelly Howell, Jessica Stamper, Hannah Stamper, Ryan Stamper, Jeff Burnopp, Caressa Barton, her older sister who was cool, Sarah Kinder, Sarah Stevenson, Stephanie Walk, Steve Matthews, Thomas White, Arron Combs, Ben and Jerry, Daniel Mounts, the guy who "raped" Elisha Cuppett, Shannon Stewart, Mike Haddox, the Puppies, Ulysses, GENERAL LEE, KIT, David Hasslehoff, Jan Micheal Vincent, The guy in teh cartoon who turned into his car, the smurfs, the FRAGGLEs, Wendy Bray, Mario and Luigi, Sonic the Hedgehog, Walt Disney's cremated body, Pricess Di (in hell), JFK Jr., Hitler, Musolini, Castro, My Dad's French chick, Bret Hart, Owen Hart, Mike Meyers, Austin Powers, Wayne Cambell, Andy Kaufman, Tony Clifton, Ladka, Jerry "the King" Lawler, The cast of MTV'S "The State", Beth Littleford, Jon Stewart, Mo Rocca, Vance Degeneres, Steve Cobert, Jimmy Kimel, Ben Stein, Adam Corolla, Bill Clinton, His cock, Monica Lewinsky, Linda Tripp, Stephanie Flowers, Paula Jones, Tonya Harding, Nancy Kerrigan, Jeff Goloulee, Lou E. Dnagerously, Tom Petty, Mandy Moore, Britanny Spears, Christina Agulera, Backstreet Boys, N'SYNC, 98 Degrees, 3 count, Fozzy Osbourne, Ozzy Osbourne, Ozzie Osborune, Rob Zombie, Phil Anselmo, Dimebag Darrel, Vinnie Paul, Rex, Waylon Jennings, Wille Nelson, Johnny Cash, Kris Kristopherson, Yoko Ono, Fred Durst, The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, CREAM, Aerosmith, KISS, 80's KISS, Reunited KISS, Wendy bray,Flotsam and Jetsom, Metallica, Metallica w/out Cliff, AC/DC, Motley Crue, Poison, Unskinny Rose, C.C. Deville, Ford Motor COmpany, Steve Mother-fucking Polychronopolous, Adam Sandler, the Chrysler Corp, Every 1969 Dodge Chager every built (particulalry ones painted orange), Oldmobiles, Geos, Breyers Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream, Nicole Johnson, Nicole Perry, Nicole Thompson, Nicole Artrip, Nicole Sullivan, Nicole Baurer,
Nicole-(ous) Cage, Danny Bonaducci, Leif Garret, Donny Osmond, Marie Osmond, Tommy Hilfigger, Wendy Bray,FUBU, Levi, Lee, Wendy's resturaunt chain, niggers everywhere, all the fags, Jews, spics, chinks, japs, honkies, wetbacks, Nazi's, The Axis Powers, No Doubt, Sean Gurtis, Bush, Silverchair, Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Pearl Necklace, Pearl Drums, Pearl S. Buck, Pearly Bowman, Eric Estrada, Every car every blown up on TV or in a cool movie, Arnold Shwartzenager, That skinny bitch off Dateline he's married to, Jane Pauley, Stone Phillips, Tom Brokaw, Dan Rather, Peter Jennings, My insanlely large cock, Bryant Gumball, Katie Kouric, Willard Scott, Al Roker, Matt Lauer, Ronald McDonald, Grimmace, the Hamburgler, Birdie, Mayor McCheese, Bogey, Pammy, Rick, Scott Steiner, Drizzt Do'Urden, Elminister, the Polterguist, the Exorcist, Linda Blair, the Blair Witch, Heather Donahue, Phil Donahue, Rosie O'donnel, Oprah, Harpo Productions, Wendy Bray,Happy Madison Productions, David Spade, Dana Carvey, The 1984 Indianpolis Colts, Garth Algar, The Church Lady, Ross Perot, Micheal Ducockass,
Saddam Hussaine, Macanudo Cigars, Allsop Mousepads, Value Jet, Pan-Am flight 109 over Lockerby Scotland, George Clinton and Parlamental Funk, All the transvestites of the world, all of the transvestites removed penises, Lesbians, Jim Carrey, Ace Ventura, The Cable Guy, Fake Andy Kaufman, Rubberface, Lloyd Christmas, Fender Guitars, Gibson Guitars, Wendy Bray, Les Paul, Leo Fender, Marshall Amplifiers, Michael Jackson, Iron Maiden, Black Sabbath, Matt Glover, All the members of The Razor Blade Cult, Lloyd Bridges, Beau Bridges, Bea Arthur, Estelle Getty, Tim Allen, Abe Lincoln, The hot version of Sigourney Weaver, Al Snow, Al Gets, Al Yankovic, Allen Thick, Dick Clark, Andy Rooney, Andy Rickter, Conan O'Brien, Roger Anderson, Frank Parker, Tori Amos, Jewel, Alex Trebek, Tori Wilson, Pat Sajak, Banjo Kazzooie, Twisted Metal 4, Doink the Clown, Pamela Anderson Lee, Tommy Lee, Alyssa Milano, Wendy Bray,Beth Hash, Ice Cube, Ice Tea, Vanilla Ice, M.C. Hammer, Villanos 1 through 42, Lenny Lane, Lodi, Tommy Orion, Billy Sadler, Benjamin Nyetanyahoo, Lolita Davidovich, Carnie Wilson, Indiana Jones, Han Solo, Luke Skywalker, James T. Kirk, Pubic hair spong, Barney the dinosaur, Big Bird, Snuffallunfagus, Will Smith, Tupac, Puff daddy, Pistacios Nuts, Mr. Peanut, Mr. T, Mr. Belding, Tweek and Craig, Zakk Wylde, Zack Morris, A.C. Slater, Kelly Capowski, Lisa Turtle, Screech, Jesse Spano, Carlos Santana, Wendy Bray, James Hettfield, Lars Ulrich, Kirk Hammet, Jason Newsted, Ralph Lauren, Ralph, Ronald Reagan, Jimmy Carter, George Bush, George Thorogood, David Arquette, Mariah Carey's Tits and Ass, The girl from Disc Jockey with perfect Tits and Ass, The all around hot girl from Sunglass Hut, The woman in Leopard Skin selling copper, The dudes that sell hoods, Tommmy Dreamer, all the guys at Nascar HQ, Tree Hugging Hippie Store, Dip N Dots, KISS dude at Spencers, Carie Worley, David at Kay Bee, Mindboggle, Silent Scope, Tyler Winkler, Henry Winkler, The Fonz, Jonie and Chachie, Richie Cunningham, Scott Bayo, Mel Saunders, Dustin Hoffman, Jack Nickelson, Hal Sparks, Mel Gibson, Bruce Willis, Chuck Norris, Tom Arnold, Walker,Texas Ranger, Randy Rhoads, Suzzanne Somers, Tom Selleck, Magnum P.I., Bert Reynolds, The cast of Riptide, Captain Winkie, Ben Folds Five, Steve Bushemi, Quentin Tarantino, Harvey Kytel, Penis pistol from duck til dawn, Mark Callaway, Salma Hayek, Jennifer Lopez, Daisey Fuetes, CATHERINE-ZETA-JONES, JENNY McCARTHY, Dennis Rodman, CARMAN ELECTRA, Denise Richards, Terri Runnels, Tori, Debra, Ivory, Chyna, Rena Mero, The chick with Black hair that was perfect, chick from Ames, Wendy Bray, Grace Slick, Jefferson Airplane, Clarence "the Fire Breathing Negro", Trojan Man, Julius Ceasar, CALIGULA, Stanley Kubrick, Oliver Stone, JFK, Jackie O, Steven Spielberg, Rob Sneider, George Lucas, Jeremy McGrath, Tony Hawk, Nick, Ryan, Roby and Tyler, Jergens Lotion, Hugo Boss, Squave, 12 dollar shampoo, Dave's Brush, David loves Miss Congeniality, David Horowitz...The Jew! He likes to watch us masterbate and he goes: "Splat splooo slooop" all over us, Rico Squave, Mitch Headberg, Lewis Black, THE ROCK, The girl who wouldn't have gone to college if it weren't for her horse, Steve Austin, Hacksaw Jim Duggan, Shane Douglas, Steve Corino, Hewlett Packard, Bill Gates, Jack Victory, ROADKILL, Danny Doring, Electra, DAWN MARIE, Justin Credible, Lance Storm: From Calgary...Alberta, Canada, Vito Lagrassi, Mulletts all over the globe, Little Guido, BIG SAL E. GRAZIANO, Tracy Smothers, Make-out fest 1986, Jerry Lynn, Spike Dudley, Mike Awesome, Masato Tanaka, Masahiro Chono, Yoshihiro Tajiri, The Great Muta, g Fresh, INDIANS from CANNIBAL THE MUSICAL, ALFRED PACKER, Juan Swartz, SCHWAN, Humphries, Trey Parker, Matt Stone, Meatloaf, Barbara Streisand, Dale Earnhardt,George Carlin, Jose Canseco, Cream Boxed Sets, THAT LOVELY, LOVELY POETRY BOOK, and of course, PROVIDENCE!Merry Christmas to:





Richard Donald Underwood III
UNCLE David Setliff! ( The accountant )
Jessyca Hope Blankenship
Melissa, Eve, Foster, Brandi, Travis Ray Cole, Wes, The bartender's Ass, Christina, Terry, Culver,Mick Foley, Scruggs, Meachum, Shott, Stonestreet, WENDY BRAY, Burgess, Christen Carper, Jodi Taylor, Elisha Cuppett, Stephanie Fowler, Amanda Cochran, Charles Bently, John Henson, Chris and Beth Henry, Mr. Godfrey, Mr. Bourne, Mr. Hankey, Kenny, Kyle, Cartman, Stan, Beavis, Butt-head, Bo Duke, Luke Duke, Daisy, Uncle Jessie, Rosco P. Colet,rain, Boss Hogg, The 1988 Oakland A's, Droz, Jesus, Satan, Enus, Christopher Walken, Keith Richards, Eric Clapton, Ginger Baker, Jack Bruce, Jeff Beck, Jimmy Page, Joe F. Perry, DMX, ODB, Ja-Rule, Paul Stanley, Gene Simmons, Peter Criss, ACE FREHLEY, Bruce Kulick, Vinnie Vincent, Eric Carr, Eric Singer, Jessica Comer, Barry Dillon, Bigger Thomas, Jared Barker, Shawn Michaels, Jericho, SABU, RVD, Brandy Bagar, Paige Mustard, BROOKE BOURNE, Matthew Wooten, Lala Wooten, James Richard Wooten, Tammy Underwood, Richard Underwood Jr., T-Bone, Cooter, Effie Epperson, Bob Epperson, the one armed guy who hangs around downtown, Thomas J. Whitmore, Bruce Raven, Wedny Bray,Drake Calloway, Stephanie Ballargin (?), Pete, the guys at Anheiser-Busch, Jack Daniels, Jim Bean, Joel "whether at home or here in Dayton the women are watchin me and maturbatin" Gertner, Cyrus, Joey Styles, Anthony Perdue, Spyder Crowley, Johnny Blast, Ward and June, Brian Logan, Joey Morton, Jared Rottenberry, J.D. Rottenberry, Grandmasta Sexxy, Scotty Too Hotty, Danny Cameron, Heather Lyons, Jamie Hypes, Leah Hypes, Michael Williams, Brandon Williams, Last year's French chick, This years french chick, Kelly Howell, Jessica Stamper, Hannah Stamper, Ryan Stamper, Jeff Burnopp, Caressa Barton, her older sister who was cool, Sarah Kinder, Sarah Stevenson, Stephanie Walk, Steve Matthews, Thomas White, Arron Combs, Ben and Jerry, Daniel Mounts, the guy who "raped" Elisha Cuppett, Shannon Stewart, Mike Haddox, the Puppies, Ulysses, GENERAL LEE, KIT, David Hasslehoff, Jan Micheal Vincent, The guy in teh cartoon who turned into his car, the smurfs, the FRAGGLEs, Wendy Bray, Mario and Luigi, Sonic the Hedgehog, Walt Disney's cremated body, Pricess Di (in hell), JFK Jr., Hitler, Musolini, Castro, My Dad's French chick, Bret Hart, Owen Hart, Mike Meyers, Austin Powers, Wayne Cambell, Andy Kaufman, Tony Clifton, Ladka, Jerry "the King" Lawler, The cast of MTV'S "The State", Beth Littleford, Jon Stewart, Mo Rocca, Vance Degeneres, Steve Cobert, Jimmy Kimel, Ben Stein, Adam Corolla, Bill Clinton, His cock, Monica Lewinsky, Linda Tripp, Stephanie Flowers, Paula Jones, Tonya Harding, Nancy Kerrigan, Jeff Goloulee, Lou E. Dnagerously, Tom Petty, Mandy Moore, Britanny Spears, Christina Agulera, Backstreet Boys, N'SYNC, 98 Degrees, 3 count, Fozzy Osbourne, Ozzy Osbourne, Ozzie Osborune, Rob Zombie, Phil Anselmo, Dimebag Darrel, Vinnie Paul, Rex, Waylon Jennings, Wille Nelson, Johnny Cash, Kris Kristopherson, Yoko Ono, Fred Durst, The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, CREAM, Aerosmith, KISS, 80's KISS, Reunited KISS, Wendy bray,Flotsam and Jetsom, Metallica, Metallica w/out Cliff, AC/DC, Motley Crue, Poison, Unskinny Rose, C.C. Deville, Ford Motor COmpany, Steve Mother-fucking Polychronopolous, Adam Sandler, the Chrysler Corp, Every 1969 Dodge Chager every built (particulalry ones painted orange), Oldmobiles, Geos, Breyers Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream, Nicole Johnson, Nicole Perry, Nicole Thompson, Nicole Artrip, Nicole Sullivan, Nicole Baurer,
Nicole-(ous) Cage, Danny Bonaducci, Leif Garret, Donny Osmond, Marie Osmond, Tommy Hilfigger, Wendy Bray,FUBU, Levi, Lee, Wendy's resturaunt chain, niggers everywhere, all the fags, Jews, spics, chinks, japs, honkies, wetbacks, Nazi's, The Axis Powers, No Doubt, Sean Gurtis, Bush, Silverchair, Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Pearl Necklace, Pearl Drums, Pearl S. Buck, Pearly Bowman, Eric Estrada, Every car every blown up on TV or in a cool movie, Arnold Shwartzenager, That skinny bitch off Dateline he's married to, Jane Pauley, Stone Phillips, Tom Brokaw, Dan Rather, Peter Jennings, My insanlely large cock, Bryant Gumball, Katie Kouric, Willard Scott, Al Roker, Matt Lauer, Ronald McDonald, Grimmace, the Hamburgler, Birdie, Mayor McCheese, Bogey, Pammy, Rick, Scott Steiner, Drizzt Do'Urden, Elminister, the Polterguist, the Exorcist, Linda Blair, the Blair Witch, Heather Donahue, Phil Donahue, Rosie O'donnel, Oprah, Harpo Productions, Wendy Bray,Happy Madison Productions, David Spade, Dana Carvey, The 1984 Indianpolis Colts, Garth Algar, The Church Lady, Ross Perot, Micheal Ducockass,
Saddam Hussaine, Macanudo Cigars, Allsop Mousepads, Value Jet, Pan-Am flight 109 over Lockerby Scotland, George Clinton and Parlamental Funk, All the transvestites of the world, all of the transvestites removed penises, Lesbians, Jim Carrey, Ace Ventura, The Cable Guy, Fake Andy Kaufman, Rubberface, Lloyd Christmas, Fender Guitars, Gibson Guitars, Wendy Bray, Les Paul, Leo Fender, Marshall Amplifiers, Michael Jackson, Iron Maiden, Black Sabbath, Matt Glover, All the members of The Razor Blade Cult, Lloyd Bridges, Beau Bridges, Bea Arthur, Estelle Getty, Tim Allen, Abe Lincoln, The hot version of Sigourney Weaver, Al Snow, Al Gets, Al Yankovic, Allen Thick, Dick Clark, Andy Rooney, Andy Rickter, Conan O'Brien, Roger Anderson, Frank Parker, Tori Amos, Jewel, Alex Trebek, Tori Wilson, Pat Sajak, Banjo Kazzooie, Twisted Metal 4, Doink the Clown, Pamela Anderson Lee, Tommy Lee, Alyssa Milano, Wendy Bray,Beth Hash, Ice Cube, Ice Tea, Vanilla Ice, M.C. Hammer, Villanos 1 through 42, Lenny Lane, Lodi, Tommy Orion, Billy Sadler, Benjamin Nyetanyahoo, Lolita Davidovich, Carnie Wilson, Indiana Jones, Han Solo, Luke Skywalker, James T. Kirk, Pubic hair spong, Barney the dinosaur, Big Bird, Snuffallunfagus, Will Smith, Tupac, Puff daddy, Pistacios Nuts, Mr. Peanut, Mr. T, Mr. Belding, Tweek and Craig, Zakk Wylde, Zack Morris, A.C. Slater, Kelly Capowski, Lisa Turtle, Screech, Jesse Spano, Carlos Santana, Wendy Bray, James Hettfield, Lars Ulrich, Kirk Hammet, Jason Newsted, Ralph Lauren, Ralph, Ronald Reagan, Jimmy Carter, George Bush, George Thorogood, David Arquette, Mariah Carey's Tits and Ass, The girl from Disc Jockey with perfect Tits and Ass, The all around hot girl from Sunglass Hut, The woman in Leopard Skin selling copper, The dudes that sell hoods, Tommmy Dreamer, all the guys at Nascar HQ, Tree Hugging Hippie Store, Dip N Dots, KISS dude at Spencers, Carie Worley, David at Kay Bee, Mindboggle, Silent Scope, Tyler Winkler, Henry Winkler, The Fonz, Jonie and Chachie, Richie Cunningham, Scott Bayo, Mel Saunders, Dustin Hoffman, Jack Nickelson, Hal Sparks, Mel Gibson, Bruce Willis, Chuck Norris, Tom Arnold, Walker,Texas Ranger, Randy Rhoads, Suzzanne Somers, Tom Selleck, Magnum P.I., Bert Reynolds, The cast of Riptide, Captain Winkie, Ben Folds Five, Steve Bushemi, Quentin Tarantino, Harvey Kytel, Penis pistol from duck til dawn, Mark Callaway, Salma Hayek, Jennifer Lopez, Daisey Fuetes, CATHERINE-ZETA-JONES, JENNY McCARTHY, Dennis Rodman, CARMAN ELECTRA, Denise Richards, Terri Runnels, Tori, Debra, Ivory, Chyna, Rena Mero, The chick with Black hair that was perfect, chick from Ames, Wendy Bray, Grace Slick, Jefferson Airplane, Clarence "the Fire Breathing Negro", Trojan Man, Julius Ceasar, CALIGULA, Stanley Kubrick, Oliver Stone, JFK, Jackie O, Steven Spielberg, Rob Sneider, George Lucas, Jeremy McGrath, Tony Hawk, Nick, Ryan, Roby and Tyler, Jergens Lotion, Hugo Boss, Squave, 12 dollar shampoo, Dave's Brush, David loves Miss Congeniality, David Horowitz...The Jew! He likes to watch us masterbate and he goes: "Splat splooo slooop" all over us, Rico Squave, Mitch Headberg, Lewis Black, THE ROCK, The girl who wouldn't have gone to college if it weren't for her horse, Steve Austin, Hacksaw Jim Duggan, Shane Douglas, Steve Corino, Hewlett Packard, Bill Gates, Jack Victory, ROADKILL, Danny Doring, Electra, DAWN MARIE, Justin Credible, Lance Storm: From Calgary...Alberta, Canada, Vito Lagrassi, Mulletts all over the globe, Little Guido, BIG SAL E. GRAZIANO, Tracy Smothers, Make-out fest 1986, Jerry Lynn, Spike Dudley, Mike Awesome, Masato Tanaka, Masahiro Chono, Yoshihiro Tajiri, The Great Muta, g Fresh, INDIANS from CANNIBAL THE MUSICAL, ALFRED PACKER, Juan Swartz, SCHWAN, Humphries, Trey Parker, Matt Stone, Meatloaf, Barbara Streisand, Dale Earnhardt,George Carlin, Jose Canseco, Cream Boxed Sets, THAT LOVELY, LOVELY POETRY BOOK, and of course, PROVIDENCE!
Merry Christmas to:





Richard Donald Underwood III
UNCLE David Setliff! ( The accountant )
Jessyca Hope Blankenship
Melissa, Eve, Foster, Brandi, Travis Ray Cole, Wes, The bartender's Ass, Christina, Terry, Culver,Mick Foley, Scruggs, Meachum, Shott, Stonestreet, WENDY BRAY, Burgess, Christen Carper, Jodi Taylor, Elisha Cuppett, Stephanie Fowler, Amanda Cochran, Charles Bently, John Henson, Chris and Beth Henry, Mr. Godfrey, Mr. Bourne, Mr. Hankey, Kenny, Kyle, Cartman, Stan, Beavis, Butt-head, Bo Duke, Luke Duke, Daisy, Uncle Jessie, Rosco P. Colet,rain, Boss Hogg, The 1988 Oakland A's, Droz, Jesus, Satan, Enus, Christopher Walken, Keith Richards, Eric Clapton, Ginger Baker, Jack Bruce, Jeff Beck, Jimmy Page, Joe F. Perry, DMX, ODB, Ja-Rule, Paul Stanley, Gene Simmons, Peter Criss, ACE FREHLEY, Bruce Kulick, Vinnie Vincent, Eric Carr, Eric Singer, Jessica Comer, Barry Dillon, Bigger Thomas, Jared Barker, Shawn Michaels, Jericho, SABU, RVD, Brandy Bagar, Paige Mustard, BROOKE BOURNE, Matthew Wooten, Lala Wooten, James Richard Wooten, Tammy Underwood, Richard Underwood Jr., T-Bone, Cooter, Effie Epperson, Bob Epperson, the one armed guy who hangs around downtown, Thomas J. Whitmore, Bruce Raven, Wedny Bray,Drake Calloway, Stephanie Ballargin (?), Pete, the guys at Anheiser-Busch, Jack Daniels, Jim Bean, Joel "whether at home or here in Dayton the women are watchin me and maturbatin" Gertner, Cyrus, Joey Styles, Anthony Perdue, Spyder Crowley, Johnny Blast, Ward and June, Brian Logan, Joey Morton, Jared Rottenberry, J.D. Rottenberry, Grandmasta Sexxy, Scotty Too Hotty, Danny Cameron, Heather Lyons, Jamie Hypes, Leah Hypes, Michael Williams, Brandon Williams, Last year's French chick, This years french chick, Kelly Howell, Jessica Stamper, Hannah Stamper, Ryan Stamper, Jeff Burnopp, Caressa Barton, her older sister who was cool, Sarah Kinder, Sarah Stevenson, Stephanie Walk, Steve Matthews, Thomas White, Arron Combs, Ben and Jerry, Daniel Mounts, the guy who "raped" Elisha Cuppett, Shannon Stewart, Mike Haddox, the Puppies, Ulysses, GENERAL LEE, KIT, David Hasslehoff, Jan Micheal Vincent, The guy in teh cartoon who turned into his car, the smurfs, the FRAGGLEs, Wendy Bray, Mario and Luigi, Sonic the Hedgehog, Walt Disney's cremated body, Pricess Di (in hell), JFK Jr., Hitler, Musolini, Castro, My Dad's French chick, Bret Hart, Owen Hart, Mike Meyers, Austin Powers, Wayne Cambell, Andy Kaufman, Tony Clifton, Ladka, Jerry "the King" Lawler, The cast of MTV'S "The State", Beth Littleford, Jon Stewart, Mo Rocca, Vance Degeneres, Steve Cobert, Jimmy Kimel, Ben Stein, Adam Corolla, Bill Clinton, His cock, Monica Lewinsky, Linda Tripp, Stephanie Flowers, Paula Jones, Tonya Harding, Nancy Kerrigan, Jeff Goloulee, Lou E. Dnagerously, Tom Petty, Mandy Moore, Britanny Spears, Christina Agulera, Backstreet Boys, N'SYNC, 98 Degrees, 3 count, Fozzy Osbourne, Ozzy Osbourne, Ozzie Osborune, Rob Zombie, Phil Anselmo, Dimebag Darrel, Vinnie Paul, Rex, Waylon Jennings, Wille Nelson, Johnny Cash, Kris Kristopherson, Yoko Ono, Fred Durst, The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, CREAM, Aerosmith, KISS, 80's KISS, Reunited KISS, Wendy bray,Flotsam and Jetsom, Metallica, Metallica w/out Cliff, AC/DC, Motley Crue, Poison, Unskinny Rose, C.C. Deville, Ford Motor COmpany, Steve Mother-fucking Polychronopolous, Adam Sandler, the Chrysler Corp, Every 1969 Dodge Chager every built (particulalry ones painted orange), Oldmobiles, Geos, Breyers Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream, Nicole Johnson, Nicole Perry, Nicole Thompson, Nicole Artrip, Nicole Sullivan, Nicole Baurer,
Nicole-(ous) Cage, Danny Bonaducci, Leif Garret, Donny Osmond, Marie Osmond, Tommy Hilfigger, Wendy Bray,FUBU, Levi, Lee, Wendy's resturaunt chain, niggers everywhere, all the fags, Jews, spics, chinks, japs, honkies, wetbacks, Nazi's, The Axis Powers, No Doubt, Sean Gurtis, Bush, Silverchair, Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Pearl Necklace, Pearl Drums, Pearl S. Buck, Pearly Bowman, Eric Estrada, Every car every blown up on TV or in a cool movie, Arnold Shwartzenager, That skinny bitch off Dateline he's married to, Jane Pauley, Stone Phillips, Tom Brokaw, Dan Rather, Peter Jennings, My insanlely large cock, Bryant Gumball, Katie Kouric, Willard Scott, Al Roker, Matt Lauer, Ronald McDonald, Grimmace, the Hamburgler, Birdie, Mayor McCheese, Bogey, Pammy, Rick, Scott Steiner, Drizzt Do'Urden, Elminister, the Polterguist, the Exorcist, Linda Blair, the Blair Witch, Heather Donahue, Phil Donahue, Rosie O'donnel, Oprah, Harpo Productions, Wendy Bray,Happy Madison Productions, David Spade, Dana Carvey, The 1984 Indianpolis Colts, Garth Algar, The Church Lady, Ross Perot, Micheal Ducockass,
Saddam Hussaine, Macanudo Cigars, Allsop Mousepads, Value Jet, Pan-Am flight 109 over Lockerby Scotland, George Clinton and Parlamental Funk, All the transvestites of the world, all of the transvestites removed penises, Lesbians, Jim Carrey, Ace Ventura, The Cable Guy, Fake Andy Kaufman, Rubberface, Lloyd Christmas, Fender Guitars, Gibson Guitars, Wendy Bray, Les Paul, Leo Fender, Marshall Amplifiers, Michael Jackson, Iron Maiden, Black Sabbath, Matt Glover, All the members of The Razor Blade Cult, Lloyd Bridges, Beau Bridges, Bea Arthur, Estelle Getty, Tim Allen, Abe Lincoln, The hot version of Sigourney Weaver, Al Snow, Al Gets, Al Yankovic, Allen Thick, Dick Clark, Andy Rooney, Andy Rickter, Conan O'Brien, Roger Anderson, Frank Parker, Tori Amos, Jewel, Alex Trebek, Tori Wilson, Pat Sajak, Banjo Kazzooie, Twisted Metal 4, Doink the Clown, Pamela Anderson Lee, Tommy Lee, Alyssa Milano, Wendy Bray,Beth Hash, Ice Cube, Ice Tea, Vanilla Ice, M.C. Hammer, Villanos 1 through 42, Lenny Lane, Lodi, Tommy Orion, Billy Sadler, Benjamin Nyetanyahoo, Lolita Davidovich, Carnie Wilson, Indiana Jones, Han Solo, Luke Skywalker, James T. Kirk, Pubic hair spong, Barney the dinosaur, Big Bird, Snuffallunfagus, Will Smith, Tupac, Puff daddy, Pistacios Nuts, Mr. Peanut, Mr. T, Mr. Belding, Tweek and Craig, Zakk Wylde, Zack Morris, A.C. Slater, Kelly Capowski, Lisa Turtle, Screech, Jesse Spano, Carlos Santana, Wendy Bray, James Hettfield, Lars Ulrich, Kirk Hammet, Jason Newsted, Ralph Lauren, Ralph, Ronald Reagan, Jimmy Carter, George Bush, George Thorogood, David Arquette, Mariah Carey's Tits and Ass, The girl from Disc Jockey with perfect Tits and Ass, The all around hot girl from Sunglass Hut, The woman in Leopard Skin selling copper, The dudes that sell hoods, Tommmy Dreamer, all the guys at Nascar HQ, Tree Hugging Hippie Store, Dip N Dots, KISS dude at Spencers, Carie Worley, David at Kay Bee, Mindboggle, Silent Scope, Tyler Winkler, Henry Winkler, The Fonz, Jonie and Chachie, Richie Cunningham, Scott Bayo, Mel Saunders, Dustin Hoffman, Jack Nickelson, Hal Sparks, Mel Gibson, Bruce Willis, Chuck Norris, Tom Arnold, Walker,Texas Ranger, Randy Rhoads, Suzzanne Somers, Tom Selleck, Magnum P.I., Bert Reynolds, The cast of Riptide, Captain Winkie, Ben Folds Five, Steve Bushemi, Quentin Tarantino, Harvey Kytel, Penis pistol from duck til dawn, Mark Callaway, Salma Hayek, Jennifer Lopez, Daisey Fuetes, CATHERINE-ZETA-JONES, JENNY McCARTHY, Dennis Rodman, CARMAN ELECTRA, Denise Richards, Terri Runnels, Tori, Debra, Ivory, Chyna, Rena Mero, The chick with Black hair that was perfect, chick from Ames, Wendy Bray, Grace Slick, Jefferson Airplane, Clarence "the Fire Breathing Negro", Trojan Man, Julius Ceasar, CALIGULA, Stanley Kubrick, Oliver Stone, JFK, Jackie O, Steven Spielberg, Rob Sneider, George Lucas, Jeremy McGrath, Tony Hawk, Nick, Ryan, Roby and Tyler, Jergens Lotion, Hugo Boss, Squave, 12 dollar shampoo, Dave's Brush, David loves Miss Congeniality, David Horowitz...The Jew! He likes to watch us masterbate and he goes: "Splat splooo slooop" all over us, Rico Squave, Mitch Headberg, Lewis Black, THE ROCK, The girl who wouldn't have gone to college if it weren't for her horse, Steve Austin, Hacksaw Jim Duggan, Shane Douglas, Steve Corino, Hewlett Packard, Bill Gates, Jack Victory, ROADKILL, Danny Doring, Electra, DAWN MARIE, Justin Credible, Lance Storm: From Calgary...Alberta, Canada, Vito Lagrassi, Mulletts all over the globe, Little Guido, BIG SAL E. GRAZIANO, Tracy Smothers, Make-out fest 1986, Jerry Lynn, Spike Dudley, Mike Awesome, Masato Tanaka, Masahiro Chono, Yoshihiro Tajiri, The Great Muta, g Fresh, INDIANS from CANNIBAL THE MUSICAL, ALFRED PACKER, Juan Swartz, SCHWAN, Humphries, Trey Parker, Matt Stone, Meatloaf, Barbara Streisand, Dale Earnhardt,George Carlin, Jose Canseco, Cream Boxed Sets, THAT LOVELY, LOVELY POETRY BOOK, and of course, PROVIDENCE!
Merry Christmas to:





Richard Donald Underwood III
UNCLE David Setliff! ( The accountant )
Jessyca Hope Blankenship
Melissa, Eve, Foster, Brandi, Travis Ray Cole, Wes, The bartender's Ass, Christina, Terry, Culver,Mick Foley, Scruggs, Meachum, Shott, Stonestreet, WENDY BRAY, Burgess, Christen Carper, Jodi Taylor, Elisha Cuppett, Stephanie Fowler, Amanda Cochran, Charles Bently, John Henson, Chris and Beth Henry, Mr. Godfrey, Mr. Bourne, Mr. Hankey, Kenny, Kyle, Cartman, Stan, Beavis, Butt-head, Bo Duke, Luke Duke, Daisy, Uncle Jessie, Rosco P. Colet,rain, Boss Hogg, The 1988 Oakland A's, Droz, Jesus, Satan, Enus, Christopher Walken, Keith Richards, Eric Clapton, Ginger Baker, Jack Bruce, Jeff Beck, Jimmy Page, Joe F. Perry, DMX, ODB, Ja-Rule, Paul Stanley, Gene Simmons, Peter Criss, ACE FREHLEY, Bruce Kulick, Vinnie Vincent, Eric Carr, Eric Singer, Jessica Comer, Barry Dillon, Bigger Thomas, Jared Barker, Shawn Michaels, Jericho, SABU, RVD, Brandy Bagar, Paige Mustard, BROOKE BOURNE, Matthew Wooten, Lala Wooten, James Richard Wooten, Tammy Underwood, Richard Underwood Jr., T-Bone, Cooter, Effie Epperson, Bob Epperson, the one armed guy who hangs around downtown, Thomas J. Whitmore, Bruce Raven, Wedny Bray,Drake Calloway, Stephanie Ballargin (?), Pete, the guys at Anheiser-Busch, Jack Daniels, Jim Bean, Joel "whether at home or here in Dayton the women are watchin me and maturbatin" Gertner, Cyrus, Joey Styles, Anthony Perdue, Spyder Crowley, Johnny Blast, Ward and June, Brian Logan, Joey Morton, Jared Rottenberry, J.D. Rottenberry, Grandmasta Sexxy, Scotty Too Hotty, Danny Cameron, Heather Lyons, Jamie Hypes, Leah Hypes, Michael Williams, Brandon Williams, Last year's French chick, This years french chick, Kelly Howell, Jessica Stamper, Hannah Stamper, Ryan Stamper, Jeff Burnopp, Caressa Barton, her older sister who was cool, Sarah Kinder, Sarah Stevenson, Stephanie Walk, Steve Matthews, Thomas White, Arron Combs, Ben and Jerry, Daniel Mounts, the guy who "raped" Elisha Cuppett, Shannon Stewart, Mike Haddox, the Puppies, Ulysses, GENERAL LEE, KIT, David Hasslehoff, Jan Micheal Vincent, The guy in teh cartoon who turned into his car, the smurfs, the FRAGGLEs, Wendy Bray, Mario and Luigi, Sonic the Hedgehog, Walt Disney's cremated body, Pricess Di (in hell), JFK Jr., Hitler, Musolini, Castro, My Dad's French chick, Bret Hart, Owen Hart, Mike Meyers, Austin Powers, Wayne Cambell, Andy Kaufman, Tony Clifton, Ladka, Jerry "the King" Lawler, The cast of MTV'S "The State", Beth Littleford, Jon Stewart, Mo Rocca, Vance Degeneres, Steve Cobert, Jimmy Kimel, Ben Stein, Adam Corolla, Bill Clinton, His cock, Monica Lewinsky, Linda Tripp, Stephanie Flowers, Paula Jones, Tonya Harding, Nancy Kerrigan, Jeff Goloulee, Lou E. Dnagerously, Tom Petty, Mandy Moore, Britanny Spears, Christina Agulera, Backstreet Boys, N'SYNC, 98 Degrees, 3 count, Fozzy Osbourne, Ozzy Osbourne, Ozzie Osborune, Rob Zombie, Phil Anselmo, Dimebag Darrel, Vinnie Paul, Rex, Waylon Jennings, Wille Nelson, Johnny Cash, Kris Kristopherson, Yoko Ono, Fred Durst, The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, CREAM, Aerosmith, KISS, 80's KISS, Reunited KISS, Wendy bray,Flotsam and Jetsom, Metallica, Metallica w/out Cliff, AC/DC, Motley Crue, Poison, Unskinny Rose, C.C. Deville, Ford Motor COmpany, Steve Mother-fucking Polychronopolous, Adam Sandler, the Chrysler Corp, Every 1969 Dodge Chager every built (particulalry ones painted orange), Oldmobiles, Geos, Breyers Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream, Nicole Johnson, Nicole Perry, Nicole Thompson, Nicole Artrip, Nicole Sullivan, Nicole Baurer,
Nicole-(ous) Cage, Danny Bonaducci, Leif Garret, Donny Osmond, Marie Osmond, Tommy Hilfigger, Wendy Bray,FUBU, Levi, Lee, Wendy's resturaunt chain, niggers everywhere, all the fags, Jews, spics, chinks, japs, honkies, wetbacks, Nazi's, The Axis Powers, No Doubt, Sean Gurtis, Bush, Silverchair, Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Pearl Necklace, Pearl Drums, Pearl S. Buck, Pearly Bowman, Eric Estrada, Every car every blown up on TV or in a cool movie, Arnold Shwartzenager, That skinny bitch off Dateline he's married to, Jane Pauley, Stone Phillips, Tom Brokaw, Dan Rather, Peter Jennings, My insanlely large cock, Bryant Gumball, Katie Kouric, Willard Scott, Al Roker, Matt Lauer, Ronald McDonald, Grimmace, the Hamburgler, Birdie, Mayor McCheese, Bogey, Pammy, Rick, Scott Steiner, Drizzt Do'Urden, Elminister, the Polterguist, the Exorcist, Linda Blair, the Blair Witch, Heather Donahue, Phil Donahue, Rosie O'donnel, Oprah, Harpo Productions, Wendy Bray,Happy Madison Productions, David Spade, Dana Carvey, The 1984 Indianpolis Colts, Garth Algar, The Church Lady, Ross Perot, Micheal Ducockass,
Saddam Hussaine, Macanudo Cigars, Allsop Mousepads, Value Jet, Pan-Am flight 109 over Lockerby Scotland, George Clinton and Parlamental Funk, All the transvestites of the world, all of the transvestites removed penises, Lesbians, Jim Carrey, Ace Ventura, The Cable Guy, Fake Andy Kaufman, Rubberface, Lloyd Christmas, Fender Guitars, Gibson Guitars, Wendy Bray, Les Paul, Leo Fender, Marshall Amplifiers, Michael Jackson, Iron Maiden, Black Sabbath, Matt Glover, All the members of The Razor Blade Cult, Lloyd Bridges, Beau Bridges, Bea Arthur, Estelle Getty, Tim Allen, Abe Lincoln, The hot version of Sigourney Weaver, Al Snow, Al Gets, Al Yankovic, Allen Thick, Dick Clark, Andy Rooney, Andy Rickter, Conan O'Brien, Roger Anderson, Frank Parker, Tori Amos, Jewel, Alex Trebek, Tori Wilson, Pat Sajak, Banjo Kazzooie, Twisted Metal 4, Doink the Clown, Pamela Anderson Lee, Tommy Lee, Alyssa Milano, Wendy Bray,Beth Hash, Ice Cube, Ice Tea, Vanilla Ice, M.C. Hammer, Villanos 1 through 42, Lenny Lane, Lodi, Tommy Orion, Billy Sadler, Benjamin Nyetanyahoo, Lolita Davidovich, Carnie Wilson, Indiana Jones, Han Solo, Luke Skywalker, James T. Kirk, Pubic hair spong, Barney the dinosaur, Big Bird, Snuffallunfagus, Will Smith, Tupac, Puff daddy, Pistacios Nuts, Mr. Peanut, Mr. T, Mr. Belding, Tweek and Craig, Zakk Wylde, Zack Morris, A.C. Slater, Kelly Capowski, Lisa Turtle, Screech, Jesse Spano, Carlos Santana, Wendy Bray, James Hettfield, Lars Ulrich, Kirk Hammet, Jason Newsted, Ralph Lauren, Ralph, Ronald Reagan, Jimmy Carter, George Bush, George Thorogood, David Arquette, Mariah Carey's Tits and Ass, The girl from Disc Jockey with perfect Tits and Ass, The all around hot girl from Sunglass Hut, The woman in Leopard Skin selling copper, The dudes that sell hoods, Tommmy Dreamer, all the guys at Nascar HQ, Tree Hugging Hippie Store, Dip N Dots, KISS dude at Spencers, Carie Worley, David at Kay Bee, Mindboggle, Silent Scope, Tyler Winkler, Henry Winkler, The Fonz, Jonie and Chachie, Richie Cunningham, Scott Bayo, Mel Saunders, Dustin Hoffman, Jack Nickelson, Hal Sparks, Mel Gibson, Bruce Willis, Chuck Norris, Tom Arnold, Walker,Texas Ranger, Randy Rhoads, Suzzanne Somers, Tom Selleck, Magnum P.I., Bert Reynolds, The cast of Riptide, Captain Winkie, Ben Folds Five, Steve Bushemi, Quentin Tarantino, Harvey Kytel, Penis pistol from duck til dawn, Mark Callaway, Salma Hayek, Jennifer Lopez, Daisey Fuetes, CATHERINE-ZETA-JONES, JENNY McCARTHY, Dennis Rodman, CARMAN ELECTRA, Denise Richards, Terri Runnels, Tori, Debra, Ivory, Chyna, Rena Mero, The chick with Black hair that was perfect, chick from Ames, Wendy Bray, Grace Slick, Jefferson Airplane, Clarence "the Fire Breathing Negro", Trojan Man, Julius Ceasar, CALIGULA, Stanley Kubrick, Oliver Stone, JFK, Jackie O, Steven Spielberg, Rob Sneider, George Lucas, Jeremy McGrath, Tony Hawk, Nick, Ryan, Roby and Tyler, Jergens Lotion, Hugo Boss, Squave, 12 dollar shampoo, Dave's Brush, David loves Miss Congeniality, David Horowitz...The Jew! He likes to watch us masterbate and he goes: "Splat splooo slooop" all over us, Rico Squave, Mitch Headberg, Lewis Black, THE ROCK, The girl who wouldn't have gone to college if it weren't for her horse, Steve Austin, Hacksaw Jim Duggan, Shane Douglas, Steve Corino, Hewlett Packard, Bill Gates, Jack Victory, ROADKILL, Danny Doring, Electra, DAWN MARIE, Justin Credible, Lance Storm: From Calgary...Alberta, Canada, Vito Lagrassi, Mulletts all over the globe, Little Guido, BIG SAL E. GRAZIANO, Tracy Smothers, Make-out fest 1986, Jerry Lynn, Spike Dudley, Mike Awesome, Masato Tanaka, Masahiro Chono, Yoshihiro Tajiri, The Great Muta, g Fresh, INDIANS from CANNIBAL THE MUSICAL, ALFRED PACKER, Juan Swartz, SCHWAN, Humphries, Trey Parker, Matt Stone, Meatloaf, Barbara Streisand, Dale Earnhardt,George Carlin, Jose Canseco, Cream Boxed Sets, THAT LOVELY, LOVELY POETRY BOOK, and of course, PROVIDENCE!


Poopy McGee
- Saturday, December 25, 1999 at 01:05:22 (PST)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Merry Christmas to:





Richard Donald Underwood III
UNCLE David Setliff! ( The accountant )
Jessyca Hope Blankenship
Melissa, Eve, Foster, Brandi, Travis Ray Cole, Wes, The bartender's Ass, Christina, Terry, Culver,Mick Foley, Scruggs, Meachum, Shott, Stonestreet, WENDY BRAY, Burgess, Christen Carper, Jodi Taylor, Elisha Cuppett, Stephanie Fowler, Amanda Cochran, Charles Bently, John Henson, Chris and Beth Henry, Mr. Godfrey, Mr. Bourne, Mr. Hankey, Kenny, Kyle, Cartman, Stan, Beavis, Butt-head, Bo Duke, Luke Duke, Daisy, Uncle Jessie, Rosco P. Colet,rain, Boss Hogg, The 1988 Oakland A's, Droz, Jesus, Satan, Enus, Christopher Walken, Keith Richards, Eric Clapton, Ginger Baker, Jack Bruce, Jeff Beck, Jimmy Page, Joe F. Perry, DMX, ODB, Ja-Rule, Paul Stanley, Gene Simmons, Peter Criss, ACE FREHLEY, Bruce Kulick, Vinnie Vincent, Eric Carr, Eric Singer, Jessica Comer, Barry Dillon, Bigger Thomas, Jared Barker, Shawn Michaels, Jericho, SABU, RVD, Brandy Bagar, Paige Mustard, BROOKE BOURNE, Matthew Wooten, Lala Wooten, James Richard Wooten, Tammy Underwood, Richard Underwood Jr., T-Bone, Cooter, Effie Epperson, Bob Epperson, the one armed guy who hangs around downtown, Thomas J. Whitmore, Bruce Raven, Wedny Bray,Drake Calloway, Stephanie Ballargin (?), Pete, the guys at Anheiser-Busch, Jack Daniels, Jim Bean, Joel "whether at home or here in Dayton the women are watchin me and maturbatin" Gertner, Cyrus, Joey Styles, Anthony Perdue, Spyder Crowley, Johnny Blast, Ward and June, Brian Logan, Joey Morton, Jared Rottenberry, J.D. Rottenberry, Grandmasta Sexxy, Scotty Too Hotty, Danny Cameron, Heather Lyons, Jamie Hypes, Leah Hypes, Michael Williams, Brandon Williams, Last year's French chick, This years french chick, Kelly Howell, Jessica Stamper, Hannah Stamper, Ryan Stamper, Jeff Burnopp, Caressa Barton, her older sister who was cool, Sarah Kinder, Sarah Stevenson, Stephanie Walk, Steve Matthews, Thomas White, Arron Combs, Ben and Jerry, Daniel Mounts, the guy who "raped" Elisha Cuppett, Shannon Stewart, Mike Haddox, the Puppies, Ulysses, GENERAL LEE, KIT, David Hasslehoff, Jan Micheal Vincent, The guy in teh cartoon who turned into his car, the smurfs, the FRAGGLEs, Wendy Bray, Mario and Luigi, Sonic the Hedgehog, Walt Disney's cremated body, Pricess Di (in hell), JFK Jr., Hitler, Musolini, Castro, My Dad's French chick, Bret Hart, Owen Hart, Mike Meyers, Austin Powers, Wayne Cambell, Andy Kaufman, Tony Clifton, Ladka, Jerry "the King" Lawler, The cast of MTV'S "The State", Beth Littleford, Jon Stewart, Mo Rocca, Vance Degeneres, Steve Cobert, Jimmy Kimel, Ben Stein, Adam Corolla, Bill Clinton, His cock, Monica Lewinsky, Linda Tripp, Stephanie Flowers, Paula Jones, Tonya Harding, Nancy Kerrigan, Jeff Goloulee, Lou E. Dnagerously, Tom Petty, Mandy Moore, Britanny Spears, Christina Agulera, Backstreet Boys, N'SYNC, 98 Degrees, 3 count, Fozzy Osbourne, Ozzy Osbourne, Ozzie Osborune, Rob Zombie, Phil Anselmo, Dimebag Darrel, Vinnie Paul, Rex, Waylon Jennings, Wille Nelson, Johnny Cash, Kris Kristopherson, Yoko Ono, Fred Durst, The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, CREAM, Aerosmith, KISS, 80's KISS, Reunited KISS, Wendy bray,Flotsam and Jetsom, Metallica, Metallica w/out Cliff, AC/DC, Motley Crue, Poison, Unskinny Rose, C.C. Deville, Ford Motor COmpany, Steve Mother-fucking Polychronopolous, Adam Sandler, the Chrysler Corp, Every 1969 Dodge Chager every built (particulalry ones painted orange), Oldmobiles, Geos, Breyers Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream, Nicole Johnson, Nicole Perry, Nicole Thompson, Nicole Artrip, Nicole Sullivan, Nicole Baurer,
Nicole-(ous) Cage, Danny Bonaducci, Leif Garret, Donny Osmond, Marie Osmond, Tommy Hilfigger, Wendy Bray,FUBU, Levi, Lee, Wendy's resturaunt chain, niggers everywhere, all the fags, Jews, spics, chinks, japs, honkies, wetbacks, Nazi's, The Axis Powers, No Doubt, Sean Gurtis, Bush, Silverchair, Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Pearl Necklace, Pearl Drums, Pearl S. Buck, Pearly Bowman, Eric Estrada, Every car every blown up on TV or in a cool movie, Arnold Shwartzenager, That skinny bitch off Dateline he's married to, Jane Pauley, Stone Phillips, Tom Brokaw, Dan Rather, Peter Jennings, My insanlely large cock, Bryant Gumball, Katie Kouric, Willard Scott, Al Roker, Matt Lauer, Ronald McDonald, Grimmace, the Hamburgler, Birdie, Mayor McCheese, Bogey, Pammy, Rick, Scott Steiner, Drizzt Do'Urden, Elminister, the Polterguist, the Exorcist, Linda Blair, the Blair Witch, Heather Donahue, Phil Donahue, Rosie O'donnel, Oprah, Harpo Productions, Wendy Bray,Happy Madison Productions, David Spade, Dana Carvey, The 1984 Indianpolis Colts, Garth Algar, The Church Lady, Ross Perot, Micheal Ducockass,
Saddam Hussaine, Macanudo Cigars, Allsop Mousepads, Value Jet, Pan-Am flight 109 over Lockerby Scotland, George Clinton and Parlamental Funk, All the transvestites of the world, all of the transvestites removed penises, Lesbians, Jim Carrey, Ace Ventura, The Cable Guy, Fake Andy Kaufman, Rubberface, Lloyd Christmas, Fender Guitars, Gibson Guitars, Wendy Bray, Les Paul, Leo Fender, Marshall Amplifiers, Michael Jackson, Iron Maiden, Black Sabbath, Matt Glover, All the members of The Razor Blade Cult, Lloyd Bridges, Beau Bridges, Bea Arthur, Estelle Getty, Tim Allen, Abe Lincoln, The hot version of Sigourney Weaver, Al Snow, Al Gets, Al Yankovic, Allen Thick, Dick Clark, Andy Rooney, Andy Rickter, Conan O'Brien, Roger Anderson, Frank Parker, Tori Amos, Jewel, Alex Trebek, Tori Wilson, Pat Sajak, Banjo Kazzooie, Twisted Metal 4, Doink the Clown, Pamela Anderson Lee, Tommy Lee, Alyssa Milano, Wendy Bray,Beth Hash, Ice Cube, Ice Tea, Vanilla Ice, M.C. Hammer, Villanos 1 through 42, Lenny Lane, Lodi, Tommy Orion, Billy Sadler, Benjamin Nyetanyahoo, Lolita Davidovich, Carnie Wilson, Indiana Jones, Han Solo, Luke Skywalker, James T. Kirk, Pubic hair spong, Barney the dinosaur, Big Bird, Snuffallunfagus, Will Smith, Tupac, Puff daddy, Pistacios Nuts, Mr. Peanut, Mr. T, Mr. Belding, Tweek and Craig, Zakk Wylde, Zack Morris, A.C. Slater, Kelly Capowski, Lisa Turtle, Screech, Jesse Spano, Carlos Santana, Wendy Bray, James Hettfield, Lars Ulrich, Kirk Hammet, Jason Newsted, Ralph Lauren, Ralph, Ronald Reagan, Jimmy Carter, George Bush, George Thorogood, David Arquette, Mariah Carey's Tits and Ass, The girl from Disc Jockey with perfect Tits and Ass, The all around hot girl from Sunglass Hut, The woman in Leopard Skin selling copper, The dudes that sell hoods, Tommmy Dreamer, all the guys at Nascar HQ, Tree Hugging Hippie Store, Dip N Dots, KISS dude at Spencers, Carie Worley, David at Kay Bee, Mindboggle, Silent Scope, Tyler Winkler, Henry Winkler, The Fonz, Jonie and Chachie, Richie Cunningham, Scott Bayo, Mel Saunders, Dustin Hoffman, Jack Nickelson, Hal Sparks, Mel Gibson, Bruce Willis, Chuck Norris, Tom Arnold, Walker,Texas Ranger, Randy Rhoads, Suzzanne Somers, Tom Selleck, Magnum P.I., Bert Reynolds, The cast of Riptide, Captain Winkie, Ben Folds Five, Steve Bushemi, Quentin Tarantino, Harvey Kytel, Penis pistol from duck til dawn, Mark Callaway, Salma Hayek, Jennifer Lopez, Daisey Fuetes, CATHERINE-ZETA-JONES, JENNY McCARTHY, Dennis Rodman, CARMAN ELECTRA, Denise Richards, Terri Runnels, Tori, Debra, Ivory, Chyna, Rena Mero, The chick with Black hair that was perfect, chick from Ames, Wendy Bray, Grace Slick, Jefferson Airplane, Clarence "the Fire Breathing Negro", Trojan Man, Julius Ceasar, CALIGULA, Stanley Kubrick, Oliver Stone, JFK, Jackie O, Steven Spielberg, Rob Sneider, George Lucas, Jeremy McGrath, Tony Hawk, Nick, Ryan, Roby and Tyler, Jergens Lotion, Hugo Boss, Squave, 12 dollar shampoo, Dave's Brush, David loves Miss Congeniality, David Horowitz...The Jew! He likes to watch us masterbate and he goes: "Splat splooo slooop" all over us, Rico Squave, Mitch Headberg, Lewis Black, THE ROCK, The girl who wouldn't have gone to college if it weren't for her horse, Steve Austin, Hacksaw Jim Duggan, Shane Douglas, Steve Corino, Hewlett Packard, Bill Gates, Jack Victory, ROADKILL, Danny Doring, Electra, DAWN MARIE, Justin Credible, Lance Storm: From Calgary...Alberta, Canada, Vito Lagrassi, Mulletts all over the globe, Little Guido, BIG SAL E. GRAZIANO, Tracy Smothers, Make-out fest 1986, Jerry Lynn, Spike Dudley, Mike Awesome, Masato Tanaka, Masahiro Chono, Yoshihiro Tajiri, The Great Muta, g Fresh, INDIANS from CANNIBAL THE MUSICAL, ALFRED PACKER, Juan Swartz, SCHWAN, Humphries, Trey Parker, Matt Stone, Meatloaf, Barbara Streisand, Dale Earnhardt,George Carlin, Jose Canseco, Cream Boxed Sets, THAT LOVELY, LOVELY POETRY BOOK, and of course, PROVIDENCE!

Elisha Cuppett
- Saturday, December 25, 1999 at 01:02:16 (PST)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Merry Christmas to:





Richard Donald Underwood III
UNCLE David Setliff! ( The accountant )
Jessyca Hope Blankenship
Melissa, Eve, Foster, Brandi, Travis Ray Cole, Wes, The bartender's Ass, Christina, Terry, Culver,Mick Foley, Scruggs, Meachum, Shott, Stonestreet, WENDY BRAY, Burgess, Christen Carper, Jodi Taylor, Elisha Cuppett, Stephanie Fowler, Amanda Cochran, Charles Bently, John Henson, Chris and Beth Henry, Mr. Godfrey, Mr. Bourne, Mr. Hankey, Kenny, Kyle, Cartman, Stan, Beavis, Butt-head, Bo Duke, Luke Duke, Daisy, Uncle Jessie, Rosco P. Colet,rain, Boss Hogg, The 1988 Oakland A's, Droz, Jesus, Satan, Enus, Christopher Walken, Keith Richards, Eric Clapton, Ginger Baker, Jack Bruce, Jeff Beck, Jimmy Page, Joe F. Perry, DMX, ODB, Ja-Rule, Paul Stanley, Gene Simmons, Peter Criss, ACE FREHLEY, Bruce Kulick, Vinnie Vincent, Eric Carr, Eric Singer, Jessica Comer, Barry Dillon, Bigger Thomas, Jared Barker, Shawn Michaels, Jericho, SABU, RVD, Brandy Bagar, Paige Mustard, BROOKE BOURNE, Matthew Wooten, Lala Wooten, James Richard Wooten, Tammy Underwood, Richard Underwood Jr., T-Bone, Cooter, Effie Epperson, Bob Epperson, the one armed guy who hangs around downtown, Thomas J. Whitmore, Bruce Raven, Wedny Bray,Drake Calloway, Stephanie Ballargin (?), Pete, the guys at Anheiser-Busch, Jack Daniels, Jim Bean, Joel "whether at home or here in Dayton the women are watchin me and maturbatin" Gertner, Cyrus, Joey Styles, Anthony Perdue, Spyder Crowley, Johnny Blast, Ward and June, Brian Logan, Joey Morton, Jared Rottenberry, J.D. Rottenberry, Grandmasta Sexxy, Scotty Too Hotty, Danny Cameron, Heather Lyons, Jamie Hypes, Leah Hypes, Michael Williams, Brandon Williams, Last year's French chick, This years french chick, Kelly Howell, Jessica Stamper, Hannah Stamper, Ryan Stamper, Jeff Burnopp, Caressa Barton, her older sister who was cool, Sarah Kinder, Sarah Stevenson, Stephanie Walk, Steve Matthews, Thomas White, Arron Combs, Ben and Jerry, Daniel Mounts, the guy who "raped" Elisha Cuppett, Shannon Stewart, Mike Haddox, the Puppies, Ulysses, GENERAL LEE, KIT, David Hasslehoff, Jan Micheal Vincent, The guy in teh cartoon who turned into his car, the smurfs, the FRAGGLEs, Wendy Bray, Mario and Luigi, Sonic the Hedgehog, Walt Disney's cremated body, Pricess Di (in hell), JFK Jr., Hitler, Musolini, Castro, My Dad's French chick, Bret Hart, Owen Hart, Mike Meyers, Austin Powers, Wayne Cambell, Andy Kaufman, Tony Clifton, Ladka, Jerry "the King" Lawler, The cast of MTV'S "The State", Beth Littleford, Jon Stewart, Mo Rocca, Vance Degeneres, Steve Cobert, Jimmy Kimel, Ben Stein, Adam Corolla, Bill Clinton, His cock, Monica Lewinsky, Linda Tripp, Stephanie Flowers, Paula Jones, Tonya Harding, Nancy Kerrigan, Jeff Goloulee, Lou E. Dnagerously, Tom Petty, Mandy Moore, Britanny Spears, Christina Agulera, Backstreet Boys, N'SYNC, 98 Degrees, 3 count, Fozzy Osbourne, Ozzy Osbourne, Ozzie Osborune, Rob Zombie, Phil Anselmo, Dimebag Darrel, Vinnie Paul, Rex, Waylon Jennings, Wille Nelson, Johnny Cash, Kris Kristopherson, Yoko Ono, Fred Durst, The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, CREAM, Aerosmith, KISS, 80's KISS, Reunited KISS, Wendy bray,Flotsam and Jetsom, Metallica, Metallica w/out Cliff, AC/DC, Motley Crue, Poison, Unskinny Rose, C.C. Deville, Ford Motor COmpany, Steve Mother-fucking Polychronopolous, Adam Sandler, the Chrysler Corp, Every 1969 Dodge Chager every built (particulalry ones painted orange), Oldmobiles, Geos, Breyers Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream, Nicole Johnson, Nicole Perry, Nicole Thompson, Nicole Artrip, Nicole Sullivan, Nicole Baurer,
Nicole-(ous) Cage, Danny Bonaducci, Leif Garret, Donny Osmond, Marie Osmond, Tommy Hilfigger, Wendy Bray,FUBU, Levi, Lee, Wendy's resturaunt chain, niggers everywhere, all the fags, Jews, spics, chinks, japs, honkies, wetbacks, Nazi's, The Axis Powers, No Doubt, Sean Gurtis, Bush, Silverchair, Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Pearl Necklace, Pearl Drums, Pearl S. Buck, Pearly Bowman, Eric Estrada, Every car every blown up on TV or in a cool movie, Arnold Shwartzenager, That skinny bitch off Dateline he's married to, Jane Pauley, Stone Phillips, Tom Brokaw, Dan Rather, Peter Jennings, My insanlely large cock, Bryant Gumball, Katie Kouric, Willard Scott, Al Roker, Matt Lauer, Ronald McDonald, Grimmace, the Hamburgler, Birdie, Mayor McCheese, Bogey, Pammy, Rick, Scott Steiner, Drizzt Do'Urden, Elminister, the Polterguist, the Exorcist, Linda Blair, the Blair Witch, Heather Donahue, Phil Donahue, Rosie O'donnel, Oprah, Harpo Productions, Wendy Bray,Happy Madison Productions, David Spade, Dana Carvey, The 1984 Indianpolis Colts, Garth Algar, The Church Lady, Ross Perot, Micheal Ducockass,
Saddam Hussaine, Macanudo Cigars, Allsop Mousepads, Value Jet, Pan-Am flight 109 over Lockerby Scotland, George Clinton and Parlamental Funk, All the transvestites of the world, all of the transvestites removed penises, Lesbians, Jim Carrey, Ace Ventura, The Cable Guy, Fake Andy Kaufman, Rubberface, Lloyd Christmas, Fender Guitars, Gibson Guitars, Wendy Bray, Les Paul, Leo Fender, Marshall Amplifiers, Michael Jackson, Iron Maiden, Black Sabbath, Matt Glover, All the members of The Razor Blade Cult, Lloyd Bridges, Beau Bridges, Bea Arthur, Estelle Getty, Tim Allen, Abe Lincoln, The hot version of Sigourney Weaver, Al Snow, Al Gets, Al Yankovic, Allen Thick, Dick Clark, Andy Rooney, Andy Rickter, Conan O'Brien, Roger Anderson, Frank Parker, Tori Amos, Jewel, Alex Trebek, Tori Wilson, Pat Sajak, Banjo Kazzooie, Twisted Metal 4, Doink the Clown, Pamela Anderson Lee, Tommy Lee, Alyssa Milano, Wendy Bray,Beth Hash, Ice Cube, Ice Tea, Vanilla Ice, M.C. Hammer, Villanos 1 through 42, Lenny Lane, Lodi, Tommy Orion, Billy Sadler, Benjamin Nyetanyahoo, Lolita Davidovich, Carnie Wilson, Indiana Jones, Han Solo, Luke Skywalker, James T. Kirk, Pubic hair spong, Barney the dinosaur, Big Bird, Snuffallunfagus, Will Smith, Tupac, Puff daddy, Pistacios Nuts, Mr. Peanut, Mr. T, Mr. Belding, Tweek and Craig, Zakk Wylde, Zack Morris, A.C. Slater, Kelly Capowski, Lisa Turtle, Screech, Jesse Spano, Carlos Santana, Wendy Bray, James Hettfield, Lars Ulrich, Kirk Hammet, Jason Newsted, Ralph Lauren, Ralph, Ronald Reagan, Jimmy Carter, George Bush, George Thorogood, David Arquette, Mariah Carey's Tits and Ass, The girl from Disc Jockey with perfect Tits and Ass, The all around hot girl from Sunglass Hut, The woman in Leopard Skin selling copper, The dudes that sell hoods, Tommmy Dreamer, all the guys at Nascar HQ, Tree Hugging Hippie Store, Dip N Dots, KISS dude at Spencers, Carie Worley, David at Kay Bee, Mindboggle, Silent Scope, Tyler Winkler, Henry Winkler, The Fonz, Jonie and Chachie, Richie Cunningham, Scott Bayo, Mel Saunders, Dustin Hoffman, Jack Nickelson, Hal Sparks, Mel Gibson, Bruce Willis, Chuck Norris, Tom Arnold, Walker,Texas Ranger, Randy Rhoads, Suzzanne Somers, Tom Selleck, Magnum P.I., Bert Reynolds, The cast of Riptide, Captain Winkie, Ben Folds Five, Steve Bushemi, Quentin Tarantino, Harvey Kytel, Penis pistol from duck til dawn, Mark Callaway, Salma Hayek, Jennifer Lopez, Daisey Fuetes, CATHERINE-ZETA-JONES, JENNY McCARTHY, Dennis Rodman, CARMAN ELECTRA, Denise Richards, Terri Runnels, Tori, Debra, Ivory, Chyna, Rena Mero, The chick with Black hair that was perfect, chick from Ames, Wendy Bray, Grace Slick, Jefferson Airplane, Clarence "the Fire Breathing Negro", Trojan Man, Julius Ceasar, CALIGULA, Stanley Kubrick, Oliver Stone, JFK, Jackie O, Steven Spielberg, Rob Sneider, George Lucas, Jeremy McGrath, Tony Hawk, Nick, Ryan, Roby and Tyler, Jergens Lotion, Hugo Boss, Squave, 12 dollar shampoo, Dave's Brush, David loves Miss Congeniality, David Horowitz...The Jew! He likes to watch us masterbate and he goes: "Splat splooo slooop" all over us, Rico Squave, Mitch Headberg, Lewis Black, THE ROCK, The girl who wouldn't have gone to college if it weren't for her horse, Steve Austin, Hacksaw Jim Duggan, Shane Douglas, Steve Corino, Hewlett Packard, Bill Gates, Jack Victory, ROADKILL, Danny Doring, Electra, DAWN MARIE, Justin Credible, Lance Storm: From Calgary...Alberta, Canada, Vito Lagrassi, Mulletts all over the globe, Little Guido, BIG SAL E. GRAZIANO, Tracy Smothers, Make-out fest 1986, Jerry Lynn, Spike Dudley, Mike Awesome, Masato Tanaka, Masahiro Chono, Yoshihiro Tajiri, The Great Muta, g Fresh, INDIANS from CANNIBAL THE MUSICAL, ALFRED PACKER, Juan Swartz, SCHWAN, Humphries, Trey Parker, Matt Stone, Meatloaf, Barbara Streisand, Dale Earnhardt,George Carlin, Jose Canseco, Cream Boxed Sets, THAT LOVELY, LOVELY POETRY BOOK, and of course, PROVIDENCE!

Tracy Lords
- Saturday, December 25, 1999 at 01:01:31 (PST)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Merry Christmas to:





Richard Donald Underwood III
UNCLE David Setliff! ( The accountant )
Jessyca Hope Blankenship
Melissa, Eve, Foster, Brandi, Travis Ray Cole, Wes, The bartender's Ass, Christina, Terry, Culver,Mick Foley, Scruggs, Meachum, Shott, Stonestreet, WENDY BRAY, Burgess, Christen Carper, Jodi Taylor, Elisha Cuppett, Stephanie Fowler, Amanda Cochran, Charles Bently, John Henson, Chris and Beth Henry, Mr. Godfrey, Mr. Bourne, Mr. Hankey, Kenny, Kyle, Cartman, Stan, Beavis, Butt-head, Bo Duke, Luke Duke, Daisy, Uncle Jessie, Rosco P. Colet,rain, Boss Hogg, The 1988 Oakland A's, Droz, Jesus, Satan, Enus, Christopher Walken, Keith Richards, Eric Clapton, Ginger Baker, Jack Bruce, Jeff Beck, Jimmy Page, Joe F. Perry, DMX, ODB, Ja-Rule, Paul Stanley, Gene Simmons, Peter Criss, ACE FREHLEY, Bruce Kulick, Vinnie Vincent, Eric Carr, Eric Singer, Jessica Comer, Barry Dillon, Bigger Thomas, Jared Barker, Shawn Michaels, Jericho, SABU, RVD, Brandy Bagar, Paige Mustard, BROOKE BOURNE, Matthew Wooten, Lala Wooten, James Richard Wooten, Tammy Underwood, Richard Underwood Jr., T-Bone, Cooter, Effie Epperson, Bob Epperson, the one armed guy who hangs around downtown, Thomas J. Whitmore, Bruce Raven, Wedny Bray,Drake Calloway, Stephanie Ballargin (?), Pete, the guys at Anheiser-Busch, Jack Daniels, Jim Bean, Joel "whether at home or here in Dayton the women are watchin me and maturbatin" Gertner, Cyrus, Joey Styles, Anthony Perdue, Spyder Crowley, Johnny Blast, Ward and June, Brian Logan, Joey Morton, Jared Rottenberry, J.D. Rottenberry, Grandmasta Sexxy, Scotty Too Hotty, Danny Cameron, Heather Lyons, Jamie Hypes, Leah Hypes, Michael Williams, Brandon Williams, Last year's French chick, This years french chick, Kelly Howell, Jessica Stamper, Hannah Stamper, Ryan Stamper, Jeff Burnopp, Caressa Barton, her older sister who was cool, Sarah Kinder, Sarah Stevenson, Stephanie Walk, Steve Matthews, Thomas White, Arron Combs, Ben and Jerry, Daniel Mounts, the guy who "raped" Elisha Cuppett, Shannon Stewart, Mike Haddox, the Puppies, Ulysses, GENERAL LEE, KIT, David Hasslehoff, Jan Micheal Vincent, The guy in teh cartoon who turned into his car, the smurfs, the FRAGGLEs, Wendy Bray, Mario and Luigi, Sonic the Hedgehog, Walt Disney's cremated body, Pricess Di (in hell), JFK Jr., Hitler, Musolini, Castro, My Dad's French chick, Bret Hart, Owen Hart, Mike Meyers, Austin Powers, Wayne Cambell, Andy Kaufman, Tony Clifton, Ladka, Jerry "the King" Lawler, The cast of MTV'S "The State", Beth Littleford, Jon Stewart, Mo Rocca, Vance Degeneres, Steve Cobert, Jimmy Kimel, Ben Stein, Adam Corolla, Bill Clinton, His cock, Monica Lewinsky, Linda Tripp, Stephanie Flowers, Paula Jones, Tonya Harding, Nancy Kerrigan, Jeff Goloulee, Lou E. Dnagerously, Tom Petty, Mandy Moore, Britanny Spears, Christina Agulera, Backstreet Boys, N'SYNC, 98 Degrees, 3 count, Fozzy Osbourne, Ozzy Osbourne, Ozzie Osborune, Rob Zombie, Phil Anselmo, Dimebag Darrel, Vinnie Paul, Rex, Waylon Jennings, Wille Nelson, Johnny Cash, Kris Kristopherson, Yoko Ono, Fred Durst, The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, CREAM, Aerosmith, KISS, 80's KISS, Reunited KISS, Wendy bray,Flotsam and Jetsom, Metallica, Metallica w/out Cliff, AC/DC, Motley Crue, Poison, Unskinny Rose, C.C. Deville, Ford Motor COmpany, Steve Mother-fucking Polychronopolous, Adam Sandler, the Chrysler Corp, Every 1969 Dodge Chager every built (particulalry ones painted orange), Oldmobiles, Geos, Breyers Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream, Nicole Johnson, Nicole Perry, Nicole Thompson, Nicole Artrip, Nicole Sullivan, Nicole Baurer,
Nicole-(ous) Cage, Danny Bonaducci, Leif Garret, Donny Osmond, Marie Osmond, Tommy Hilfigger, Wendy Bray,FUBU, Levi, Lee, Wendy's resturaunt chain, niggers everywhere, all the fags, Jews, spics, chinks, japs, honkies, wetbacks, Nazi's, The Axis Powers, No Doubt, Sean Gurtis, Bush, Silverchair, Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Pearl Necklace, Pearl Drums, Pearl S. Buck, Pearly Bowman, Eric Estrada, Every car every blown up on TV or in a cool movie, Arnold Shwartzenager, That skinny bitch off Dateline he's married to, Jane Pauley, Stone Phillips, Tom Brokaw, Dan Rather, Peter Jennings, My insanlely large cock, Bryant Gumball, Katie Kouric, Willard Scott, Al Roker, Matt Lauer, Ronald McDonald, Grimmace, the Hamburgler, Birdie, Mayor McCheese, Bogey, Pammy, Rick, Scott Steiner, Drizzt Do'Urden, Elminister, the Polterguist, the Exorcist, Linda Blair, the Blair Witch, Heather Donahue, Phil Donahue, Rosie O'donnel, Oprah, Harpo Productions, Wendy Bray,Happy Madison Productions, David Spade, Dana Carvey, The 1984 Indianpolis Colts, Garth Algar, The Church Lady, Ross Perot, Micheal Ducockass,
Saddam Hussaine, Macanudo Cigars, Allsop Mousepads, Value Jet, Pan-Am flight 109 over Lockerby Scotland, George Clinton and Parlamental Funk, All the transvestites of the world, all of the transvestites removed penises, Lesbians, Jim Carrey, Ace Ventura, The Cable Guy, Fake Andy Kaufman, Rubberface, Lloyd Christmas, Fender Guitars, Gibson Guitars, Wendy Bray, Les Paul, Leo Fender, Marshall Amplifiers, Michael Jackson, Iron Maiden, Black Sabbath, Matt Glover, All the members of The Razor Blade Cult, Lloyd Bridges, Beau Bridges, Bea Arthur, Estelle Getty, Tim Allen, Abe Lincoln, The hot version of Sigourney Weaver, Al Snow, Al Gets, Al Yankovic, Allen Thick, Dick Clark, Andy Rooney, Andy Rickter, Conan O'Brien, Roger Anderson, Frank Parker, Tori Amos, Jewel, Alex Trebek, Tori Wilson, Pat Sajak, Banjo Kazzooie, Twisted Metal 4, Doink the Clown, Pamela Anderson Lee, Tommy Lee, Alyssa Milano, Wendy Bray,Beth Hash, Ice Cube, Ice Tea, Vanilla Ice, M.C. Hammer, Villanos 1 through 42, Lenny Lane, Lodi, Tommy Orion, Billy Sadler, Benjamin Nyetanyahoo, Lolita Davidovich, Carnie Wilson, Indiana Jones, Han Solo, Luke Skywalker, James T. Kirk, Pubic hair spong, Barney the dinosaur, Big Bird, Snuffallunfagus, Will Smith, Tupac, Puff daddy, Pistacios Nuts, Mr. Peanut, Mr. T, Mr. Belding, Tweek and Craig, Zakk Wylde, Zack Morris, A.C. Slater, Kelly Capowski, Lisa Turtle, Screech, Jesse Spano, Carlos Santana, Wendy Bray, James Hettfield, Lars Ulrich, Kirk Hammet, Jason Newsted, Ralph Lauren, Ralph, Ronald Reagan, Jimmy Carter, George Bush, George Thorogood, David Arquette, Mariah Carey's Tits and Ass, The girl from Disc Jockey with perfect Tits and Ass, The all around hot girl from Sunglass Hut, The woman in Leopard Skin selling copper, The dudes that sell hoods, Tommmy Dreamer, all the guys at Nascar HQ, Tree Hugging Hippie Store, Dip N Dots, KISS dude at Spencers, Carie Worley, David at Kay Bee, Mindboggle, Silent Scope, Tyler Winkler, Henry Winkler, The Fonz, Jonie and Chachie, Richie Cunningham, Scott Bayo, Mel Saunders, Dustin Hoffman, Jack Nickelson, Hal Sparks, Mel Gibson, Bruce Willis, Chuck Norris, Tom Arnold, Walker,Texas Ranger, Randy Rhoads, Suzzanne Somers, Tom Selleck, Magnum P.I., Bert Reynolds, The cast of Riptide, Captain Winkie, Ben Folds Five, Steve Bushemi, Quentin Tarantino, Harvey Kytel, Penis pistol from duck til dawn, Mark Callaway, Salma Hayek, Jennifer Lopez, Daisey Fuetes, CATHERINE-ZETA-JONES, JENNY McCARTHY, Dennis Rodman, CARMAN ELECTRA, Denise Richards, Terri Runnels, Tori, Debra, Ivory, Chyna, Rena Mero, The chick with Black hair that was perfect, chick from Ames, Wendy Bray, Grace Slick, Jefferson Airplane, Clarence "the Fire Breathing Negro", Trojan Man, Julius Ceasar, CALIGULA, Stanley Kubrick, Oliver Stone, JFK, Jackie O, Steven Spielberg, Rob Sneider, George Lucas, Jeremy McGrath, Tony Hawk, Nick, Ryan, Roby and Tyler, Jergens Lotion, Hugo Boss, Squave, 12 dollar shampoo, Dave's Brush, David loves Miss Congeniality, David Horowitz...The Jew! He likes to watch us masterbate and he goes: "Splat splooo slooop" all over us, Rico Squave, Mitch Headberg, Lewis Black, THE ROCK, The girl who wouldn't have gone to college if it weren't for her horse, Steve Austin, Hacksaw Jim Duggan, Shane Douglas, Steve Corino, Hewlett Packard, Bill Gates, Jack Victory, ROADKILL, Danny Doring, Electra, DAWN MARIE, Justin Credible, Lance Storm: From Calgary...Alberta, Canada, Vito Lagrassi, Mulletts all over the globe, Little Guido, BIG SAL E. GRAZIANO, Tracy Smothers, Make-out fest 1986, Jerry Lynn, Spike Dudley, Mike Awesome, Masato Tanaka, Masahiro Chono, Yoshihiro Tajiri, The Great Muta, g Fresh, INDIANS from CANNIBAL THE MUSICAL, ALFRED PACKER, Juan Swartz, SCHWAN, Humphries, Trey Parker, Matt Stone, Meatloaf, Barbara Streisand, Dale Earnhardt,George Carlin, Jose Canseco, Cream Boxed Sets, THAT LOVELY, LOVELY POETRY BOOK, and of course, PROVIDENCE!

David Lee Roth
- Saturday, December 25, 1999 at 01:00:11 (PST)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Merry Christmas to:





Richard Donald Underwood III
UNCLE David Setliff! ( The accountant )
Jessyca Hope Blankenship
Melissa, Eve, Foster, Brandi, Travis Ray Cole, Wes, The bartender's Ass, Christina, Terry, Culver,Mick Foley, Scruggs, Meachum, Shott, Stonestreet, WENDY BRAY, Burgess, Christen Carper, Jodi Taylor, Elisha Cuppett, Stephanie Fowler, Amanda Cochran, Charles Bently, John Henson, Chris and Beth Henry, Mr. Godfrey, Mr. Bourne, Mr. Hankey, Kenny, Kyle, Cartman, Stan, Beavis, Butt-head, Bo Duke, Luke Duke, Daisy, Uncle Jessie, Rosco P. Colet,rain, Boss Hogg, The 1988 Oakland A's, Droz, Jesus, Satan, Enus, Christopher Walken, Keith Richards, Eric Clapton, Ginger Baker, Jack Bruce, Jeff Beck, Jimmy Page, Joe F. Perry, DMX, ODB, Ja-Rule, Paul Stanley, Gene Simmons, Peter Criss, ACE FREHLEY, Bruce Kulick, Vinnie Vincent, Eric Carr, Eric Singer, Jessica Comer, Barry Dillon, Bigger Thomas, Jared Barker, Shawn Michaels, Jericho, SABU, RVD, Brandy Bagar, Paige Mustard, BROOKE BOURNE, Matthew Wooten, Lala Wooten, James Richard Wooten, Tammy Underwood, Richard Underwood Jr., T-Bone, Cooter, Effie Epperson, Bob Epperson, the one armed guy who hangs around downtown, Thomas J. Whitmore, Bruce Raven, Wedny Bray,Drake Calloway, Stephanie Ballargin (?), Pete, the guys at Anheiser-Busch, Jack Daniels, Jim Bean, Joel "whether at home or here in Dayton the women are watchin me and maturbatin" Gertner, Cyrus, Joey Styles, Anthony Perdue, Spyder Crowley, Johnny Blast, Ward and June, Brian Logan, Joey Morton, Jared Rottenberry, J.D. Rottenberry, Grandmasta Sexxy, Scotty Too Hotty, Danny Cameron, Heather Lyons, Jamie Hypes, Leah Hypes, Michael Williams, Brandon Williams, Last year's French chick, This years french chick, Kelly Howell, Jessica Stamper, Hannah Stamper, Ryan Stamper, Jeff Burnopp, Caressa Barton, her older sister who was cool, Sarah Kinder, Sarah Stevenson, Stephanie Walk, Steve Matthews, Thomas White, Arron Combs, Ben and Jerry, Daniel Mounts, the guy who "raped" Elisha Cuppett, Shannon Stewart, Mike Haddox, the Puppies, Ulysses, GENERAL LEE, KIT, David Hasslehoff, Jan Micheal Vincent, The guy in teh cartoon who turned into his car, the smurfs, the FRAGGLEs, Wendy Bray, Mario and Luigi, Sonic the Hedgehog, Walt Disney's cremated body, Pricess Di (in hell), JFK Jr., Hitler, Musolini, Castro, My Dad's French chick, Bret Hart, Owen Hart, Mike Meyers, Austin Powers, Wayne Cambell, Andy Kaufman, Tony Clifton, Ladka, Jerry "the King" Lawler, The cast of MTV'S "The State", Beth Littleford, Jon Stewart, Mo Rocca, Vance Degeneres, Steve Cobert, Jimmy Kimel, Ben Stein, Adam Corolla, Bill Clinton, His cock, Monica Lewinsky, Linda Tripp, Stephanie Flowers, Paula Jones, Tonya Harding, Nancy Kerrigan, Jeff Goloulee, Lou E. Dnagerously, Tom Petty, Mandy Moore, Britanny Spears, Christina Agulera, Backstreet Boys, N'SYNC, 98 Degrees, 3 count, Fozzy Osbourne, Ozzy Osbourne, Ozzie Osborune, Rob Zombie, Phil Anselmo, Dimebag Darrel, Vinnie Paul, Rex, Waylon Jennings, Wille Nelson, Johnny Cash, Kris Kristopherson, Yoko Ono, Fred Durst, The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, CREAM, Aerosmith, KISS, 80's KISS, Reunited KISS, Wendy bray,Flotsam and Jetsom, Metallica, Metallica w/out Cliff, AC/DC, Motley Crue, Poison, Unskinny Rose, C.C. Deville, Ford Motor COmpany, Steve Mother-fucking Polychronopolous, Adam Sandler, the Chrysler Corp, Every 1969 Dodge Chager every built (particulalry ones painted orange), Oldmobiles, Geos, Breyers Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream, Nicole Johnson, Nicole Perry, Nicole Thompson, Nicole Artrip, Nicole Sullivan, Nicole Baurer,
Nicole-(ous) Cage, Danny Bonaducci, Leif Garret, Donny Osmond, Marie Osmond, Tommy Hilfigger, Wendy Bray,FUBU, Levi, Lee, Wendy's resturaunt chain, niggers everywhere, all the fags, Jews, spics, chinks, japs, honkies, wetbacks, Nazi's, The Axis Powers, No Doubt, Sean Gurtis, Bush, Silverchair, Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Pearl Necklace, Pearl Drums, Pearl S. Buck, Pearly Bowman, Eric Estrada, Every car every blown up on TV or in a cool movie, Arnold Shwartzenager, That skinny bitch off Dateline he's married to, Jane Pauley, Stone Phillips, Tom Brokaw, Dan Rather, Peter Jennings, My insanlely large cock, Bryant Gumball, Katie Kouric, Willard Scott, Al Roker, Matt Lauer, Ronald McDonald, Grimmace, the Hamburgler, Birdie, Mayor McCheese, Bogey, Pammy, Rick, Scott Steiner, Drizzt Do'Urden, Elminister, the Polterguist, the Exorcist, Linda Blair, the Blair Witch, Heather Donahue, Phil Donahue, Rosie O'donnel, Oprah, Harpo Productions, Wendy Bray,Happy Madison Productions, David Spade, Dana Carvey, The 1984 Indianpolis Colts, Garth Algar, The Church Lady, Ross Perot, Micheal Ducockass,
Saddam Hussaine, Macanudo Cigars, Allsop Mousepads, Value Jet, Pan-Am flight 109 over Lockerby Scotland, George Clinton and Parlamental Funk, All the transvestites of the world, all of the transvestites removed penises, Lesbians, Jim Carrey, Ace Ventura, The Cable Guy, Fake Andy Kaufman, Rubberface, Lloyd Christmas, Fender Guitars, Gibson Guitars, Wendy Bray, Les Paul, Leo Fender, Marshall Amplifiers, Michael Jackson, Iron Maiden, Black Sabbath, Matt Glover, All the members of The Razor Blade Cult, Lloyd Bridges, Beau Bridges, Bea Arthur, Estelle Getty, Tim Allen, Abe Lincoln, The hot version of Sigourney Weaver, Al Snow, Al Gets, Al Yankovic, Allen Thick, Dick Clark, Andy Rooney, Andy Rickter, Conan O'Brien, Roger Anderson, Frank Parker, Tori Amos, Jewel, Alex Trebek, Tori Wilson, Pat Sajak, Banjo Kazzooie, Twisted Metal 4, Doink the Clown, Pamela Anderson Lee, Tommy Lee, Alyssa Milano, Wendy Bray,Beth Hash, Ice Cube, Ice Tea, Vanilla Ice, M.C. Hammer, Villanos 1 through 42, Lenny Lane, Lodi, Tommy Orion, Billy Sadler, Benjamin Nyetanyahoo, Lolita Davidovich, Carnie Wilson, Indiana Jones, Han Solo, Luke Skywalker, James T. Kirk, Pubic hair spong, Barney the dinosaur, Big Bird, Snuffallunfagus, Will Smith, Tupac, Puff daddy, Pistacios Nuts, Mr. Peanut, Mr. T, Mr. Belding, Tweek and Craig, Zakk Wylde, Zack Morris, A.C. Slater, Kelly Capowski, Lisa Turtle, Screech, Jesse Spano, Carlos Santana, Wendy Bray, James Hettfield, Lars Ulrich, Kirk Hammet, Jason Newsted, Ralph Lauren, Ralph, Ronald Reagan, Jimmy Carter, George Bush, George Thorogood, David Arquette, Mariah Carey's Tits and Ass, The girl from Disc Jockey with perfect Tits and Ass, The all around hot girl from Sunglass Hut, The woman in Leopard Skin selling copper, The dudes that sell hoods, Tommmy Dreamer, all the guys at Nascar HQ, Tree Hugging Hippie Store, Dip N Dots, KISS dude at Spencers, Carie Worley, David at Kay Bee, Mindboggle, Silent Scope, Tyler Winkler, Henry Winkler, The Fonz, Jonie and Chachie, Richie Cunningham, Scott Bayo, Mel Saunders, Dustin Hoffman, Jack Nickelson, Hal Sparks, Mel Gibson, Bruce Willis, Chuck Norris, Tom Arnold, Walker,Texas Ranger, Randy Rhoads, Suzzanne Somers, Tom Selleck, Magnum P.I., Bert Reynolds, The cast of Riptide, Captain Winkie, Ben Folds Five, Steve Bushemi, Quentin Tarantino, Harvey Kytel, Penis pistol from duck til dawn, Mark Callaway, Salma Hayek, Jennifer Lopez, Daisey Fuetes, CATHERINE-ZETA-JONES, JENNY McCARTHY, Dennis Rodman, CARMAN ELECTRA, Denise Richards, Terri Runnels, Tori, Debra, Ivory, Chyna, Rena Mero, The chick with Black hair that was perfect, chick from Ames, Wendy Bray, Grace Slick, Jefferson Airplane, Clarence "the Fire Breathing Negro", Trojan Man, Julius Ceasar, CALIGULA, Stanley Kubrick, Oliver Stone, JFK, Jackie O, Steven Spielberg, Rob Sneider, George Lucas, Jeremy McGrath, Tony Hawk, Nick, Ryan, Roby and Tyler, Jergens Lotion, Hugo Boss, Squave, 12 dollar shampoo, Dave's Brush, David loves Miss Congeniality, David Horowitz...The Jew! He likes to watch us masterbate and he goes: "Splat splooo slooop" all over us, Rico Squave, Mitch Headberg, Lewis Black, THE ROCK, The girl who wouldn't have gone to college if it weren't for her horse, Steve Austin, Hacksaw Jim Duggan, Shane Douglas, Steve Corino, Hewlett Packard, Bill Gates, Jack Victory, ROADKILL, Danny Doring, Electra, DAWN MARIE, Justin Credible, Lance Storm: From Calgary...Alberta, Canada, Vito Lagrassi, Mulletts all over the globe, Little Guido, BIG SAL E. GRAZIANO, Tracy Smothers, Make-out fest 1986, Jerry Lynn, Spike Dudley, Mike Awesome, Masato Tanaka, Masahiro Chono, Yoshihiro Tajiri, The Great Muta, g Fresh, INDIANS from CANNIBAL THE MUSICAL, ALFRED PACKER, Juan Swartz, SCHWAN, Humphries, Trey Parker, Matt Stone, Meatloaf, Barbara Streisand, Dale Earnhardt,George Carlin, Jose Canseco, Cream Boxed Sets, THAT LOVELY, LOVELY POETRY BOOK, and of course, PROVIDENCE!

Wootie
- Saturday, December 25, 1999 at 00:59:35 (PST)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Merry Christmas to:





Richard Donald Underwood III
UNCLE David Setliff! ( The accountant )
Jessyca Hope Blankenship
Melissa, Eve, Foster, Brandi, Travis Ray Cole, Wes, The bartender's Ass, Christina, Terry, Culver,Mick Foley, Scruggs, Meachum, Shott, Stonestreet, WENDY BRAY, Burgess, Christen Carper, Jodi Taylor, Elisha Cuppett, Stephanie Fowler, Amanda Cochran, Charles Bently, John Henson, Chris and Beth Henry, Mr. Godfrey, Mr. Bourne, Mr. Hankey, Kenny, Kyle, Cartman, Stan, Beavis, Butt-head, Bo Duke, Luke Duke, Daisy, Uncle Jessie, Rosco P. Colet,rain, Boss Hogg, The 1988 Oakland A's, Droz, Jesus, Satan, Enus, Christopher Walken, Keith Richards, Eric Clapton, Ginger Baker, Jack Bruce, Jeff Beck, Jimmy Page, Joe F. Perry, DMX, ODB, Ja-Rule, Paul Stanley, Gene Simmons, Peter Criss, ACE FREHLEY, Bruce Kulick, Vinnie Vincent, Eric Carr, Eric Singer, Jessica Comer, Barry Dillon, Bigger Thomas, Jared Barker, Shawn Michaels, Jericho, SABU, RVD, Brandy Bagar, Paige Mustard, BROOKE BOURNE, Matthew Wooten, Lala Wooten, James Richard Wooten, Tammy Underwood, Richard Underwood Jr., T-Bone, Cooter, Effie Epperson, Bob Epperson, the one armed guy who hangs around downtown, Thomas J. Whitmore, Bruce Raven, Wedny Bray,Drake Calloway, Stephanie Ballargin (?), Pete, the guys at Anheiser-Busch, Jack Daniels, Jim Bean, Joel "whether at home or here in Dayton the women are watchin me and maturbatin" Gertner, Cyrus, Joey Styles, Anthony Perdue, Spyder Crowley, Johnny Blast, Ward and June, Brian Logan, Joey Morton, Jared Rottenberry, J.D. Rottenberry, Grandmasta Sexxy, Scotty Too Hotty, Danny Cameron, Heather Lyons, Jamie Hypes, Leah Hypes, Michael Williams, Brandon Williams, Last year's French chick, This years french chick, Kelly Howell, Jessica Stamper, Hannah Stamper, Ryan Stamper, Jeff Burnopp, Caressa Barton, her older sister who was cool, Sarah Kinder, Sarah Stevenson, Stephanie Walk, Steve Matthews, Thomas White, Arron Combs, Ben and Jerry, Daniel Mounts, the guy who "raped" Elisha Cuppett, Shannon Stewart, Mike Haddox, the Puppies, Ulysses, GENERAL LEE, KIT, David Hasslehoff, Jan Micheal Vincent, The guy in teh cartoon who turned into his car, the smurfs, the FRAGGLEs, Wendy Bray, Mario and Luigi, Sonic the Hedgehog, Walt Disney's cremated body, Pricess Di (in hell), JFK Jr., Hitler, Musolini, Castro, My Dad's French chick, Bret Hart, Owen Hart, Mike Meyers, Austin Powers, Wayne Cambell, Andy Kaufman, Tony Clifton, Ladka, Jerry "the King" Lawler, The cast of MTV'S "The State", Beth Littleford, Jon Stewart, Mo Rocca, Vance Degeneres, Steve Cobert, Jimmy Kimel, Ben Stein, Adam Corolla, Bill Clinton, His cock, Monica Lewinsky, Linda Tripp, Stephanie Flowers, Paula Jones, Tonya Harding, Nancy Kerrigan, Jeff Goloulee, Lou E. Dnagerously, Tom Petty, Mandy Moore, Britanny Spears, Christina Agulera, Backstreet Boys, N'SYNC, 98 Degrees, 3 count, Fozzy Osbourne, Ozzy Osbourne, Ozzie Osborune, Rob Zombie, Phil Anselmo, Dimebag Darrel, Vinnie Paul, Rex, Waylon Jennings, Wille Nelson, Johnny Cash, Kris Kristopherson, Yoko Ono, Fred Durst, The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, CREAM, Aerosmith, KISS, 80's KISS, Reunited KISS, Wendy bray,Flotsam and Jetsom, Metallica, Metallica w/out Cliff, AC/DC, Motley Crue, Poison, Unskinny Rose, C.C. Deville, Ford Motor COmpany, Steve Mother-fucking Polychronopolous, Adam Sandler, the Chrysler Corp, Every 1969 Dodge Chager every built (particulalry ones painted orange), Oldmobiles, Geos, Breyers Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream, Nicole Johnson, Nicole Perry, Nicole Thompson, Nicole Artrip, Nicole Sullivan, Nicole Baurer,
Nicole-(ous) Cage, Danny Bonaducci, Leif Garret, Donny Osmond, Marie Osmond, Tommy Hilfigger, Wendy Bray,FUBU, Levi, Lee, Wendy's resturaunt chain, niggers everywhere, all the fags, Jews, spics, chinks, japs, honkies, wetbacks, Nazi's, The Axis Powers, No Doubt, Sean Gurtis, Bush, Silverchair, Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Pearl Necklace, Pearl Drums, Pearl S. Buck, Pearly Bowman, Eric Estrada, Every car every blown up on TV or in a cool movie, Arnold Shwartzenager, That skinny bitch off Dateline he's married to, Jane Pauley, Stone Phillips, Tom Brokaw, Dan Rather, Peter Jennings, My insanlely large cock, Bryant Gumball, Katie Kouric, Willard Scott, Al Roker, Matt Lauer, Ronald McDonald, Grimmace, the Hamburgler, Birdie, Mayor McCheese, Bogey, Pammy, Rick, Scott Steiner, Drizzt Do'Urden, Elminister, the Polterguist, the Exorcist, Linda Blair, the Blair Witch, Heather Donahue, Phil Donahue, Rosie O'donnel, Oprah, Harpo Productions, Wendy Bray,Happy Madison Productions, David Spade, Dana Carvey, The 1984 Indianpolis Colts, Garth Algar, The Church Lady, Ross Perot, Micheal Ducockass,
Saddam Hussaine, Macanudo Cigars, Allsop Mousepads, Value Jet, Pan-Am flight 109 over Lockerby Scotland, George Clinton and Parlamental Funk, All the transvestites of the world, all of the transvestites removed penises, Lesbians, Jim Carrey, Ace Ventura, The Cable Guy, Fake Andy Kaufman, Rubberface, Lloyd Christmas, Fender Guitars, Gibson Guitars, Wendy Bray, Les Paul, Leo Fender, Marshall Amplifiers, Michael Jackson, Iron Maiden, Black Sabbath, Matt Glover, All the members of The Razor Blade Cult, Lloyd Bridges, Beau Bridges, Bea Arthur, Estelle Getty, Tim Allen, Abe Lincoln, The hot version of Sigourney Weaver, Al Snow, Al Gets, Al Yankovic, Allen Thick, Dick Clark, Andy Rooney, Andy Rickter, Conan O'Brien, Roger Anderson, Frank Parker, Tori Amos, Jewel, Alex Trebek, Tori Wilson, Pat Sajak, Banjo Kazzooie, Twisted Metal 4, Doink the Clown, Pamela Anderson Lee, Tommy Lee, Alyssa Milano, Wendy Bray,Beth Hash, Ice Cube, Ice Tea, Vanilla Ice, M.C. Hammer, Villanos 1 through 42, Lenny Lane, Lodi, Tommy Orion, Billy Sadler, Benjamin Nyetanyahoo, Lolita Davidovich, Carnie Wilson, Indiana Jones, Han Solo, Luke Skywalker, James T. Kirk, Pubic hair spong, Barney the dinosaur, Big Bird, Snuffallunfagus, Will Smith, Tupac, Puff daddy, Pistacios Nuts, Mr. Peanut, Mr. T, Mr. Belding, Tweek and Craig, Zakk Wylde, Zack Morris, A.C. Slater, Kelly Capowski, Lisa Turtle, Screech, Jesse Spano, Carlos Santana, Wendy Bray, James Hettfield, Lars Ulrich, Kirk Hammet, Jason Newsted, Ralph Lauren, Ralph, Ronald Reagan, Jimmy Carter, George Bush, George Thorogood, David Arquette, Mariah Carey's Tits and Ass, The girl from Disc Jockey with perfect Tits and Ass, The all around hot girl from Sunglass Hut, The woman in Leopard Skin selling copper, The dudes that sell hoods, Tommmy Dreamer, all the guys at Nascar HQ, Tree Hugging Hippie Store, Dip N Dots, KISS dude at Spencers, Carie Worley, David at Kay Bee, Mindboggle, Silent Scope, Tyler Winkler, Henry Winkler, The Fonz, Jonie and Chachie, Richie Cunningham, Scott Bayo, Mel Saunders, Dustin Hoffman, Jack Nickelson, Hal Sparks, Mel Gibson, Bruce Willis, Chuck Norris, Tom Arnold, Walker,Texas Ranger, Randy Rhoads, Suzzanne Somers, Tom Selleck, Magnum P.I., Bert Reynolds, The cast of Riptide, Captain Winkie, Ben Folds Five, Steve Bushemi, Quentin Tarantino, Harvey Kytel, Penis pistol from duck til dawn, Mark Callaway, Salma Hayek, Jennifer Lopez, Daisey Fuetes, CATHERINE-ZETA-JONES, JENNY McCARTHY, Dennis Rodman, CARMAN ELECTRA, Denise Richards, Terri Runnels, Tori, Debra, Ivory, Chyna, Rena Mero, The chick with Black hair that was perfect, chick from Ames, Wendy Bray, Grace Slick, Jefferson Airplane, Clarence "the Fire Breathing Negro", Trojan Man, Julius Ceasar, CALIGULA, Stanley Kubrick, Oliver Stone, JFK, Jackie O, Steven Spielberg, Rob Sneider, George Lucas, Jeremy McGrath, Tony Hawk, Nick, Ryan, Roby and Tyler, Jergens Lotion, Hugo Boss, Squave, 12 dollar shampoo, Dave's Brush, David loves Miss Congeniality, David Horowitz...The Jew! He likes to watch us masterbate and he goes: "Splat splooo slooop" all over us, Rico Squave, Mitch Headberg, Lewis Black, THE ROCK, The girl who wouldn't have gone to college if it weren't for her horse, Steve Austin, Hacksaw Jim Duggan, Shane Douglas, Steve Corino, Hewlett Packard, Bill Gates, Jack Victory, ROADKILL, Danny Doring, Electra, DAWN MARIE, Justin Credible, Lance Storm: From Calgary...Alberta, Canada, Vito Lagrassi, Mulletts all over the globe, Little Guido, BIG SAL E. GRAZIANO, Tracy Smothers, Make-out fest 1986, Jerry Lynn, Spike Dudley, Mike Awesome, Masato Tanaka, Masahiro Chono, Yoshihiro Tajiri, The Great Muta, g Fresh, INDIANS from CANNIBAL THE MUSICAL, ALFRED PACKER, Juan Swartz, SCHWAN, Humphries, Trey Parker, Matt Stone, Meatloaf, Barbara Streisand, Dale Earnhardt,George Carlin, Jose Canseco, Cream Boxed Sets, THAT LOVELY, LOVELY POETRY BOOK, and of course, PROVIDENCE!

Merry Christmas to:





Richard Donald Underwood III
UNCLE David Setliff! ( The accountant )
Jessyca Hope Blankenship
Melissa, Eve, Foster, Brandi, Travis Ray Cole, Wes, The bartender's Ass, Christina, Terry, Culver,Mick Foley, Scruggs, Meachum, Shott, Stonestreet, WENDY BRAY, Burgess, Christen Carper, Jodi Taylor, Elisha Cuppett, Stephanie Fowler, Amanda Cochran, Charles Bently, John Henson, Chris and Beth Henry, Mr. Godfrey, Mr. Bourne, Mr. Hankey, Kenny, Kyle, Cartman, Stan, Beavis, Butt-head, Bo Duke, Luke Duke, Daisy, Uncle Jessie, Rosco P. Colet,rain, Boss Hogg, The 1988 Oakland A's, Droz, Jesus, Satan, Enus, Christopher Walken, Keith Richards, Eric Clapton, Ginger Baker, Jack Bruce, Jeff Beck, Jimmy Page, Joe F. Perry, DMX, ODB, Ja-Rule, Paul Stanley, Gene Simmons, Peter Criss, ACE FREHLEY, Bruce Kulick, Vinnie Vincent, Eric Carr, Eric Singer, Jessica Comer, Barry Dillon, Bigger Thomas, Jared Barker, Shawn Michaels, Jericho, SABU, RVD, Brandy Bagar, Paige Mustard, BROOKE BOURNE, Matthew Wooten, Lala Wooten, James Richard Wooten, Tammy Underwood, Richard Underwood Jr., T-Bone, Cooter, Effie Epperson, Bob Epperson, the one armed guy who hangs around downtown, Thomas J. Whitmore, Bruce Raven, Wedny Bray,Drake Calloway, Stephanie Ballargin (?), Pete, the guys at Anheiser-Busch, Jack Daniels, Jim Bean, Joel "whether at home or here in Dayton the women are watchin me and maturbatin" Gertner, Cyrus, Joey Styles, Anthony Perdue, Spyder Crowley, Johnny Blast, Ward and June, Brian Logan, Joey Morton, Jared Rottenberry, J.D. Rottenberry, Grandmasta Sexxy, Scotty Too Hotty, Danny Cameron, Heather Lyons, Jamie Hypes, Leah Hypes, Michael Williams, Brandon Williams, Last year's French chick, This years french chick, Kelly Howell, Jessica Stamper, Hannah Stamper, Ryan Stamper, Jeff Burnopp, Caressa Barton, her older sister who was cool, Sarah Kinder, Sarah Stevenson, Stephanie Walk, Steve Matthews, Thomas White, Arron Combs, Ben and Jerry, Daniel Mounts, the guy who "raped" Elisha Cuppett, Shannon Stewart, Mike Haddox, the Puppies, Ulysses, GENERAL LEE, KIT, David Hasslehoff, Jan Micheal Vincent, The guy in teh cartoon who turned into his car, the smurfs, the FRAGGLEs, Wendy Bray, Mario and Luigi, Sonic the Hedgehog, Walt Disney's cremated body, Pricess Di (in hell), JFK Jr., Hitler, Musolini, Castro, My Dad's French chick, Bret Hart, Owen Hart, Mike Meyers, Austin Powers, Wayne Cambell, Andy Kaufman, Tony Clifton, Ladka, Jerry "the King" Lawler, The cast of MTV'S "The State", Beth Littleford, Jon Stewart, Mo Rocca, Vance Degeneres, Steve Cobert, Jimmy Kimel, Ben Stein, Adam Corolla, Bill Clinton, His cock, Monica Lewinsky, Linda Tripp, Stephanie Flowers, Paula Jones, Tonya Harding, Nancy Kerrigan, Jeff Goloulee, Lou E. Dnagerously, Tom Petty, Mandy Moore, Britanny Spears, Christina Agulera, Backstreet Boys, N'SYNC, 98 Degrees, 3 count, Fozzy Osbourne, Ozzy Osbourne, Ozzie Osborune, Rob Zombie, Phil Anselmo, Dimebag Darrel, Vinnie Paul, Rex, Waylon Jennings, Wille Nelson, Johnny Cash, Kris Kristopherson, Yoko Ono, Fred Durst, The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, CREAM, Aerosmith, KISS, 80's KISS, Reunited KISS, Wendy bray,Flotsam and Jetsom, Metallica, Metallica w/out Cliff, AC/DC, Motley Crue, Poison, Unskinny Rose, C.C. Deville, Ford Motor COmpany, Steve Mother-fucking Polychronopolous, Adam Sandler, the Chrysler Corp, Every 1969 Dodge Chager every built (particulalry ones painted orange), Oldmobiles, Geos, Breyers Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream, Nicole Johnson, Nicole Perry, Nicole Thompson, Nicole Artrip, Nicole Sullivan, Nicole Baurer,
Nicole-(ous) Cage, Danny Bonaducci, Leif Garret, Donny Osmond, Marie Osmond, Tommy Hilfigger, Wendy Bray,FUBU, Levi, Lee, Wendy's resturaunt chain, niggers everywhere, all the fags, Jews, spics, chinks, japs, honkies, wetbacks, Nazi's, The Axis Powers, No Doubt, Sean Gurtis, Bush, Silverchair, Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Pearl Necklace, Pearl Drums, Pearl S. Buck, Pearly Bowman, Eric Estrada, Every car every blown up on TV or in a cool movie, Arnold Shwartzenager, That skinny bitch off Dateline he's married to, Jane Pauley, Stone Phillips, Tom Brokaw, Dan Rather, Peter Jennings, My insanlely large cock, Bryant Gumball, Katie Kouric, Willard Scott, Al Roker, Matt Lauer, Ronald McDonald, Grimmace, the Hamburgler, Birdie, Mayor McCheese, Bogey, Pammy, Rick, Scott Steiner, Drizzt Do'Urden, Elminister, the Polterguist, the Exorcist, Linda Blair, the Blair Witch, Heather Donahue, Phil Donahue, Rosie O'donnel, Oprah, Harpo Productions, Wendy Bray,Happy Madison Productions, David Spade, Dana Carvey, The 1984 Indianpolis Colts, Garth Algar, The Church Lady, Ross Perot, Micheal Ducockass,
Saddam Hussaine, Macanudo Cigars, Allsop Mousepads, Value Jet, Pan-Am flight 109 over Lockerby Scotland, George Clinton and Parlamental Funk, All the transvestites of the world, all of the transvestites removed penises, Lesbians, Jim Carrey, Ace Ventura, The Cable Guy, Fake Andy Kaufman, Rubberface, Lloyd Christmas, Fender Guitars, Gibson Guitars, Wendy Bray, Les Paul, Leo Fender, Marshall Amplifiers, Michael Jackson, Iron Maiden, Black Sabbath, Matt Glover, All the members of The Razor Blade Cult, Lloyd Bridges, Beau Bridges, Bea Arthur, Estelle Getty, Tim Allen, Abe Lincoln, The hot version of Sigourney Weaver, Al Snow, Al Gets, Al Yankovic, Allen Thick, Dick Clark, Andy Rooney, Andy Rickter, Conan O'Brien, Roger Anderson, Frank Parker, Tori Amos, Jewel, Alex Trebek, Tori Wilson, Pat Sajak, Banjo Kazzooie, Twisted Metal 4, Doink the Clown, Pamela Anderson Lee, Tommy Lee, Alyssa Milano, Wendy Bray,Beth Hash, Ice Cube, Ice Tea, Vanilla Ice, M.C. Hammer, Villanos 1 through 42, Lenny Lane, Lodi, Tommy Orion, Billy Sadler, Benjamin Nyetanyahoo, Lolita Davidovich, Carnie Wilson, Indiana Jones, Han Solo, Luke Skywalker, James T. Kirk, Pubic hair spong, Barney the dinosaur, Big Bird, Snuffallunfagus, Will Smith, Tupac, Puff daddy, Pistacios Nuts, Mr. Peanut, Mr. T, Mr. Belding, Tweek and Craig, Zakk Wylde, Zack Morris, A.C. Slater, Kelly Capowski, Lisa Turtle, Screech, Jesse Spano, Carlos Santana, Wendy Bray, James Hettfield, Lars Ulrich, Kirk Hammet, Jason Newsted, Ralph Lauren, Ralph, Ronald Reagan, Jimmy Carter, George Bush, George Thorogood, David Arquette, Mariah Carey's Tits and Ass, The girl from Disc Jockey with perfect Tits and Ass, The all around hot girl from Sunglass Hut, The woman in Leopard Skin selling copper, The dudes that sell hoods, Tommmy Dreamer, all the guys at Nascar HQ, Tree Hugging Hippie Store, Dip N Dots, KISS dude at Spencers, Carie Worley, David at Kay Bee, Mindboggle, Silent Scope, Tyler Winkler, Henry Winkler, The Fonz, Jonie and Chachie, Richie Cunningham, Scott Bayo, Mel Saunders, Dustin Hoffman, Jack Nickelson, Hal Sparks, Mel Gibson, Bruce Willis, Chuck Norris, Tom Arnold, Walker,Texas Ranger, Randy Rhoads, Suzzanne Somers, Tom Selleck, Magnum P.I., Bert Reynolds, The cast of Riptide, Captain Winkie, Ben Folds Five, Steve Bushemi, Quentin Tarantino, Harvey Kytel, Penis pistol from duck til dawn, Mark Callaway, Salma Hayek, Jennifer Lopez, Daisey Fuetes, CATHERINE-ZETA-JONES, JENNY McCARTHY, Dennis Rodman, CARMAN ELECTRA, Denise Richards, Terri Runnels, Tori, Debra, Ivory, Chyna, Rena Mero, The chick with Black hair that was perfect, chick from Ames, Wendy Bray, Grace Slick, Jefferson Airplane, Clarence "the Fire Breathing Negro", Trojan Man, Julius Ceasar, CALIGULA, Stanley Kubrick, Oliver Stone, JFK, Jackie O, Steven Spielberg, Rob Sneider, George Lucas, Jeremy McGrath, Tony Hawk, Nick, Ryan, Roby and Tyler, Jergens Lotion, Hugo Boss, Squave, 12 dollar shampoo, Dave's Brush, David loves Miss Congeniality, David Horowitz...The Jew! He likes to watch us masterbate and he goes: "Splat splooo slooop" all over us, Rico Squave, Mitch Headberg, Lewis Black, THE ROCK, The girl who wouldn't have gone to college if it weren't for her horse, Steve Austin, Hacksaw Jim Duggan, Shane Douglas, Steve Corino, Hewlett Packard, Bill Gates, Jack Victory, ROADKILL, Danny Doring, Electra, DAWN MARIE, Justin Credible, Lance Storm: From Calgary...Alberta, Canada, Vito Lagrassi, Mulletts all over the globe, Little Guido, BIG SAL E. GRAZIANO, Tracy Smothers, Make-out fest 1986, Jerry Lynn, Spike Dudley, Mike Awesome, Masato Tanaka, Masahiro Chono, Yoshihiro Tajiri, The Great Muta, g Fresh, INDIANS from CANNIBAL THE MUSICAL, ALFRED PACKER, Juan Swartz, SCHWAN, Humphries, Trey Parker, Matt Stone, Meatloaf, Barbara Streisand, Dale Earnhardt,George Carlin, Jose Canseco, Cream Boxed Sets, THAT LOVELY, LOVELY POETRY BOOK, and of course, PROVIDENCE!
Merry Christmas to:





Richard Donald Underwood III
UNCLE David Setliff! ( The accountant )
Jessyca Hope Blankenship
Melissa, Eve, Foster, Brandi, Travis Ray Cole, Wes, The bartender's Ass, Christina, Terry, Culver,Mick Foley, Scruggs, Meachum, Shott, Stonestreet, WENDY BRAY, Burgess, Christen Carper, Jodi Taylor, Elisha Cuppett, Stephanie Fowler, Amanda Cochran, Charles Bently, John Henson, Chris and Beth Henry, Mr. Godfrey, Mr. Bourne, Mr. Hankey, Kenny, Kyle, Cartman, Stan, Beavis, Butt-head, Bo Duke, Luke Duke, Daisy, Uncle Jessie, Rosco P. Colet,rain, Boss Hogg, The 1988 Oakland A's, Droz, Jesus, Satan, Enus, Christopher Walken, Keith Richards, Eric Clapton, Ginger Baker, Jack Bruce, Jeff Beck, Jimmy Page, Joe F. Perry, DMX, ODB, Ja-Rule, Paul Stanley, Gene Simmons, Peter Criss, ACE FREHLEY, Bruce Kulick, Vinnie Vincent, Eric Carr, Eric Singer, Jessica Comer, Barry Dillon, Bigger Thomas, Jared Barker, Shawn Michaels, Jericho, SABU, RVD, Brandy Bagar, Paige Mustard, BROOKE BOURNE, Matthew Wooten, Lala Wooten, James Richard Wooten, Tammy Underwood, Richard Underwood Jr., T-Bone, Cooter, Effie Epperson, Bob Epperson, the one armed guy who hangs around downtown, Thomas J. Whitmore, Bruce Raven, Wedny Bray,Drake Calloway, Stephanie Ballargin (?), Pete, the guys at Anheiser-Busch, Jack Daniels, Jim Bean, Joel "whether at home or here in Dayton the women are watchin me and maturbatin" Gertner, Cyrus, Joey Styles, Anthony Perdue, Spyder Crowley, Johnny Blast, Ward and June, Brian Logan, Joey Morton, Jared Rottenberry, J.D. Rottenberry, Grandmasta Sexxy, Scotty Too Hotty, Danny Cameron, Heather Lyons, Jamie Hypes, Leah Hypes, Michael Williams, Brandon Williams, Last year's French chick, This years french chick, Kelly Howell, Jessica Stamper, Hannah Stamper, Ryan Stamper, Jeff Burnopp, Caressa Barton, her older sister who was cool, Sarah Kinder, Sarah Stevenson, Stephanie Walk, Steve Matthews, Thomas White, Arron Combs, Ben and Jerry, Daniel Mounts, the guy who "raped" Elisha Cuppett, Shannon Stewart, Mike Haddox, the Puppies, Ulysses, GENERAL LEE, KIT, David Hasslehoff, Jan Micheal Vincent, The guy in teh cartoon who turned into his car, the smurfs, the FRAGGLEs, Wendy Bray, Mario and Luigi, Sonic the Hedgehog, Walt Disney's cremated body, Pricess Di (in hell), JFK Jr., Hitler, Musolini, Castro, My Dad's French chick, Bret Hart, Owen Hart, Mike Meyers, Austin Powers, Wayne Cambell, Andy Kaufman, Tony Clifton, Ladka, Jerry "the King" Lawler, The cast of MTV'S "The State", Beth Littleford, Jon Stewart, Mo Rocca, Vance Degeneres, Steve Cobert, Jimmy Kimel, Ben Stein, Adam Corolla, Bill Clinton, His cock, Monica Lewinsky, Linda Tripp, Stephanie Flowers, Paula Jones, Tonya Harding, Nancy Kerrigan, Jeff Goloulee, Lou E. Dnagerously, Tom Petty, Mandy Moore, Britanny Spears, Christina Agulera, Backstreet Boys, N'SYNC, 98 Degrees, 3 count, Fozzy Osbourne, Ozzy Osbourne, Ozzie Osborune, Rob Zombie, Phil Anselmo, Dimebag Darrel, Vinnie Paul, Rex, Waylon Jennings, Wille Nelson, Johnny Cash, Kris Kristopherson, Yoko Ono, Fred Durst, The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, CREAM, Aerosmith, KISS, 80's KISS, Reunited KISS, Wendy bray,Flotsam and Jetsom, Metallica, Metallica w/out Cliff, AC/DC, Motley Crue, Poison, Unskinny Rose, C.C. Deville, Ford Motor COmpany, Steve Mother-fucking Polychronopolous, Adam Sandler, the Chrysler Corp, Every 1969 Dodge Chager every built (particulalry ones painted orange), Oldmobiles, Geos, Breyers Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream, Nicole Johnson, Nicole Perry, Nicole Thompson, Nicole Artrip, Nicole Sullivan, Nicole Baurer,
Nicole-(ous) Cage, Danny Bonaducci, Leif Garret, Donny Osmond, Marie Osmond, Tommy Hilfigger, Wendy Bray,FUBU, Levi, Lee, Wendy's resturaunt chain, niggers everywhere, all the fags, Jews, spics, chinks, japs, honkies, wetbacks, Nazi's, The Axis Powers, No Doubt, Sean Gurtis, Bush, Silverchair, Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Pearl Necklace, Pearl Drums, Pearl S. Buck, Pearly Bowman, Eric Estrada, Every car every blown up on TV or in a cool movie, Arnold Shwartzenager, That skinny bitch off Dateline he's married to, Jane Pauley, Stone Phillips, Tom Brokaw, Dan Rather, Peter Jennings, My insanlely large cock, Bryant Gumball, Katie Kouric, Willard Scott, Al Roker, Matt Lauer, Ronald McDonald, Grimmace, the Hamburgler, Birdie, Mayor McCheese, Bogey, Pammy, Rick, Scott Steiner, Drizzt Do'Urden, Elminister, the Polterguist, the Exorcist, Linda Blair, the Blair Witch, Heather Donahue, Phil Donahue, Rosie O'donnel, Oprah, Harpo Productions, Wendy Bray,Happy Madison Productions, David Spade, Dana Carvey, The 1984 Indianpolis Colts, Garth Algar, The Church Lady, Ross Perot, Micheal Ducockass,
Saddam Hussaine, Macanudo Cigars, Allsop Mousepads, Value Jet, Pan-Am flight 109 over Lockerby Scotland, George Clinton and Parlamental Funk, All the transvestites of the world, all of the transvestites removed penises, Lesbians, Jim Carrey, Ace Ventura, The Cable Guy, Fake Andy Kaufman, Rubberface, Lloyd Christmas, Fender Guitars, Gibson Guitars, Wendy Bray, Les Paul, Leo Fender, Marshall Amplifiers, Michael Jackson, Iron Maiden, Black Sabbath, Matt Glover, All the members of The Razor Blade Cult, Lloyd Bridges, Beau Bridges, Bea Arthur, Estelle Getty, Tim Allen, Abe Lincoln, The hot version of Sigourney Weaver, Al Snow, Al Gets, Al Yankovic, Allen Thick, Dick Clark, Andy Rooney, Andy Rickter, Conan O'Brien, Roger Anderson, Frank Parker, Tori Amos, Jewel, Alex Trebek, Tori Wilson, Pat Sajak, Banjo Kazzooie, Twisted Metal 4, Doink the Clown, Pamela Anderson Lee, Tommy Lee, Alyssa Milano, Wendy Bray,Beth Hash, Ice Cube, Ice Tea, Vanilla Ice, M.C. Hammer, Villanos 1 through 42, Lenny Lane, Lodi, Tommy Orion, Billy Sadler, Benjamin Nyetanyahoo, Lolita Davidovich, Carnie Wilson, Indiana Jones, Han Solo, Luke Skywalker, James T. Kirk, Pubic hair spong, Barney the dinosaur, Big Bird, Snuffallunfagus, Will Smith, Tupac, Puff daddy, Pistacios Nuts, Mr. Peanut, Mr. T, Mr. Belding, Tweek and Craig, Zakk Wylde, Zack Morris, A.C. Slater, Kelly Capowski, Lisa Turtle, Screech, Jesse Spano, Carlos Santana, Wendy Bray, James Hettfield, Lars Ulrich, Kirk Hammet, Jason Newsted, Ralph Lauren, Ralph, Ronald Reagan, Jimmy Carter, George Bush, George Thorogood, David Arquette, Mariah Carey's Tits and Ass, The girl from Disc Jockey with perfect Tits and Ass, The all around hot girl from Sunglass Hut, The woman in Leopard Skin selling copper, The dudes that sell hoods, Tommmy Dreamer, all the guys at Nascar HQ, Tree Hugging Hippie Store, Dip N Dots, KISS dude at Spencers, Carie Worley, David at Kay Bee, Mindboggle, Silent Scope, Tyler Winkler, Henry Winkler, The Fonz, Jonie and Chachie, Richie Cunningham, Scott Bayo, Mel Saunders, Dustin Hoffman, Jack Nickelson, Hal Sparks, Mel Gibson, Bruce Willis, Chuck Norris, Tom Arnold, Walker,Texas Ranger, Randy Rhoads, Suzzanne Somers, Tom Selleck, Magnum P.I., Bert Reynolds, The cast of Riptide, Captain Winkie, Ben Folds Five, Steve Bushemi, Quentin Tarantino, Harvey Kytel, Penis pistol from duck til dawn, Mark Callaway, Salma Hayek, Jennifer Lopez, Daisey Fuetes, CATHERINE-ZETA-JONES, JENNY McCARTHY, Dennis Rodman, CARMAN ELECTRA, Denise Richards, Terri Runnels, Tori, Debra, Ivory, Chyna, Rena Mero, The chick with Black hair that was perfect, chick from Ames, Wendy Bray, Grace Slick, Jefferson Airplane, Clarence "the Fire Breathing Negro", Trojan Man, Julius Ceasar, CALIGULA, Stanley Kubrick, Oliver Stone, JFK, Jackie O, Steven Spielberg, Rob Sneider, George Lucas, Jeremy McGrath, Tony Hawk, Nick, Ryan, Roby and Tyler, Jergens Lotion, Hugo Boss, Squave, 12 dollar shampoo, Dave's Brush, David loves Miss Congeniality, David Horowitz...The Jew! He likes to watch us masterbate and he goes: "Splat splooo slooop" all over us, Rico Squave, Mitch Headberg, Lewis Black, THE ROCK, The girl who wouldn't have gone to college if it weren't for her horse, Steve Austin, Hacksaw Jim Duggan, Shane Douglas, Steve Corino, Hewlett Packard, Bill Gates, Jack Victory, ROADKILL, Danny Doring, Electra, DAWN MARIE, Justin Credible, Lance Storm: From Calgary...Alberta, Canada, Vito Lagrassi, Mulletts all over the globe, Little Guido, BIG SAL E. GRAZIANO, Tracy Smothers, Make-out fest 1986, Jerry Lynn, Spike Dudley, Mike Awesome, Masato Tanaka, Masahiro Chono, Yoshihiro Tajiri, The Great Muta, g Fresh, INDIANS from CANNIBAL THE MUSICAL, ALFRED PACKER, Juan Swartz, SCHWAN, Humphries, Trey Parker, Matt Stone, Meatloaf, Barbara Streisand, Dale Earnhardt,George Carlin, Jose Canseco, Cream Boxed Sets, THAT LOVELY, LOVELY POETRY BOOK, and of course, PROVIDENCE!
Merry Christmas to:





Richard Donald Underwood III
UNCLE David Setliff! ( The accountant )
Jessyca Hope Blankenship
Melissa, Eve, Foster, Brandi, Travis Ray Cole, Wes, The bartender's Ass, Christina, Terry, Culver,Mick Foley, Scruggs, Meachum, Shott, Stonestreet, WENDY BRAY, Burgess, Christen Carper, Jodi Taylor, Elisha Cuppett, Stephanie Fowler, Amanda Cochran, Charles Bently, John Henson, Chris and Beth Henry, Mr. Godfrey, Mr. Bourne, Mr. Hankey, Kenny, Kyle, Cartman, Stan, Beavis, Butt-head, Bo Duke, Luke Duke, Daisy, Uncle Jessie, Rosco P. Colet,rain, Boss Hogg, The 1988 Oakland A's, Droz, Jesus, Satan, Enus, Christopher Walken, Keith Richards, Eric Clapton, Ginger Baker, Jack Bruce, Jeff Beck, Jimmy Page, Joe F. Perry, DMX, ODB, Ja-Rule, Paul Stanley, Gene Simmons, Peter Criss, ACE FREHLEY, Bruce Kulick, Vinnie Vincent, Eric Carr, Eric Singer, Jessica Comer, Barry Dillon, Bigger Thomas, Jared Barker, Shawn Michaels, Jericho, SABU, RVD, Brandy Bagar, Paige Mustard, BROOKE BOURNE, Matthew Wooten, Lala Wooten, James Richard Wooten, Tammy Underwood, Richard Underwood Jr., T-Bone, Cooter, Effie Epperson, Bob Epperson, the one armed guy who hangs around downtown, Thomas J. Whitmore, Bruce Raven, Wedny Bray,Drake Calloway, Stephanie Ballargin (?), Pete, the guys at Anheiser-Busch, Jack Daniels, Jim Bean, Joel "whether at home or here in Dayton the women are watchin me and maturbatin" Gertner, Cyrus, Joey Styles, Anthony Perdue, Spyder Crowley, Johnny Blast, Ward and June, Brian Logan, Joey Morton, Jared Rottenberry, J.D. Rottenberry, Grandmasta Sexxy, Scotty Too Hotty, Danny Cameron, Heather Lyons, Jamie Hypes, Leah Hypes, Michael Williams, Brandon Williams, Last year's French chick, This years french chick, Kelly Howell, Jessica Stamper, Hannah Stamper, Ryan Stamper, Jeff Burnopp, Caressa Barton, her older sister who was cool, Sarah Kinder, Sarah Stevenson, Stephanie Walk, Steve Matthews, Thomas White, Arron Combs, Ben and Jerry, Daniel Mounts, the guy who "raped" Elisha Cuppett, Shannon Stewart, Mike Haddox, the Puppies, Ulysses, GENERAL LEE, KIT, David Hasslehoff, Jan Micheal Vincent, The guy in teh cartoon who turned into his car, the smurfs, the FRAGGLEs, Wendy Bray, Mario and Luigi, Sonic the Hedgehog, Walt Disney's cremated body, Pricess Di (in hell), JFK Jr., Hitler, Musolini, Castro, My Dad's French chick, Bret Hart, Owen Hart, Mike Meyers, Austin Powers, Wayne Cambell, Andy Kaufman, Tony Clifton, Ladka, Jerry "the King" Lawler, The cast of MTV'S "The State", Beth Littleford, Jon Stewart, Mo Rocca, Vance Degeneres, Steve Cobert, Jimmy Kimel, Ben Stein, Adam Corolla, Bill Clinton, His cock, Monica Lewinsky, Linda Tripp, Stephanie Flowers, Paula Jones, Tonya Harding, Nancy Kerrigan, Jeff Goloulee, Lou E. Dnagerously, Tom Petty, Mandy Moore, Britanny Spears, Christina Agulera, Backstreet Boys, N'SYNC, 98 Degrees, 3 count, Fozzy Osbourne, Ozzy Osbourne, Ozzie Osborune, Rob Zombie, Phil Anselmo, Dimebag Darrel, Vinnie Paul, Rex, Waylon Jennings, Wille Nelson, Johnny Cash, Kris Kristopherson, Yoko Ono, Fred Durst, The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, CREAM, Aerosmith, KISS, 80's KISS, Reunited KISS, Wendy bray,Flotsam and Jetsom, Metallica, Metallica w/out Cliff, AC/DC, Motley Crue, Poison, Unskinny Rose, C.C. Deville, Ford Motor COmpany, Steve Mother-fucking Polychronopolous, Adam Sandler, the Chrysler Corp, Every 1969 Dodge Chager every built (particulalry ones painted orange), Oldmobiles, Geos, Breyers Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream, Nicole Johnson, Nicole Perry, Nicole Thompson, Nicole Artrip, Nicole Sullivan, Nicole Baurer,
Nicole-(ous) Cage, Danny Bonaducci, Leif Garret, Donny Osmond, Marie Osmond, Tommy Hilfigger, Wendy Bray,FUBU, Levi, Lee, Wendy's resturaunt chain, niggers everywhere, all the fags, Jews, spics, chinks, japs, honkies, wetbacks, Nazi's, The Axis Powers, No Doubt, Sean Gurtis, Bush, Silverchair, Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Pearl Necklace, Pearl Drums, Pearl S. Buck, Pearly Bowman, Eric Estrada, Every car every blown up on TV or in a cool movie, Arnold Shwartzenager, That skinny bitch off Dateline he's married to, Jane Pauley, Stone Phillips, Tom Brokaw, Dan Rather, Peter Jennings, My insanlely large cock, Bryant Gumball, Katie Kouric, Willard Scott, Al Roker, Matt Lauer, Ronald McDonald, Grimmace, the Hamburgler, Birdie, Mayor McCheese, Bogey, Pammy, Rick, Scott Steiner, Drizzt Do'Urden, Elminister, the Polterguist, the Exorcist, Linda Blair, the Blair Witch, Heather Donahue, Phil Donahue, Rosie O'donnel, Oprah, Harpo Productions, Wendy Bray,Happy Madison Productions, David Spade, Dana Carvey, The 1984 Indianpolis Colts, Garth Algar, The Church Lady, Ross Perot, Micheal Ducockass,
Saddam Hussaine, Macanudo Cigars, Allsop Mousepads, Value Jet, Pan-Am flight 109 over Lockerby Scotland, George Clinton and Parlamental Funk, All the transvestites of the world, all of the transvestites removed penises, Lesbians, Jim Carrey, Ace Ventura, The Cable Guy, Fake Andy Kaufman, Rubberface, Lloyd Christmas, Fender Guitars, Gibson Guitars, Wendy Bray, Les Paul, Leo Fender, Marshall Amplifiers, Michael Jackson, Iron Maiden, Black Sabbath, Matt Glover, All the members of The Razor Blade Cult, Lloyd Bridges, Beau Bridges, Bea Arthur, Estelle Getty, Tim Allen, Abe Lincoln, The hot version of Sigourney Weaver, Al Snow, Al Gets, Al Yankovic, Allen Thick, Dick Clark, Andy Rooney, Andy Rickter, Conan O'Brien, Roger Anderson, Frank Parker, Tori Amos, Jewel, Alex Trebek, Tori Wilson, Pat Sajak, Banjo Kazzooie, Twisted Metal 4, Doink the Clown, Pamela Anderson Lee, Tommy Lee, Alyssa Milano, Wendy Bray,Beth Hash, Ice Cube, Ice Tea, Vanilla Ice, M.C. Hammer, Villanos 1 through 42, Lenny Lane, Lodi, Tommy Orion, Billy Sadler, Benjamin Nyetanyahoo, Lolita Davidovich, Carnie Wilson, Indiana Jones, Han Solo, Luke Skywalker, James T. Kirk, Pubic hair spong, Barney the dinosaur, Big Bird, Snuffallunfagus, Will Smith, Tupac, Puff daddy, Pistacios Nuts, Mr. Peanut, Mr. T, Mr. Belding, Tweek and Craig, Zakk Wylde, Zack Morris, A.C. Slater, Kelly Capowski, Lisa Turtle, Screech, Jesse Spano, Carlos Santana, Wendy Bray, James Hettfield, Lars Ulrich, Kirk Hammet, Jason Newsted, Ralph Lauren, Ralph, Ronald Reagan, Jimmy Carter, George Bush, George Thorogood, David Arquette, Mariah Carey's Tits and Ass, The girl from Disc Jockey with perfect Tits and Ass, The all around hot girl from Sunglass Hut, The woman in Leopard Skin selling copper, The dudes that sell hoods, Tommmy Dreamer, all the guys at Nascar HQ, Tree Hugging Hippie Store, Dip N Dots, KISS dude at Spencers, Carie Worley, David at Kay Bee, Mindboggle, Silent Scope, Tyler Winkler, Henry Winkler, The Fonz, Jonie and Chachie, Richie Cunningham, Scott Bayo, Mel Saunders, Dustin Hoffman, Jack Nickelson, Hal Sparks, Mel Gibson, Bruce Willis, Chuck Norris, Tom Arnold, Walker,Texas Ranger, Randy Rhoads, Suzzanne Somers, Tom Selleck, Magnum P.I., Bert Reynolds, The cast of Riptide, Captain Winkie, Ben Folds Five, Steve Bushemi, Quentin Tarantino, Harvey Kytel, Penis pistol from duck til dawn, Mark Callaway, Salma Hayek, Jennifer Lopez, Daisey Fuetes, CATHERINE-ZETA-JONES, JENNY McCARTHY, Dennis Rodman, CARMAN ELECTRA, Denise Richards, Terri Runnels, Tori, Debra, Ivory, Chyna, Rena Mero, The chick with Black hair that was perfect, chick from Ames, Wendy Bray, Grace Slick, Jefferson Airplane, Clarence "the Fire Breathing Negro", Trojan Man, Julius Ceasar, CALIGULA, Stanley Kubrick, Oliver Stone, JFK, Jackie O, Steven Spielberg, Rob Sneider, George Lucas, Jeremy McGrath, Tony Hawk, Nick, Ryan, Roby and Tyler, Jergens Lotion, Hugo Boss, Squave, 12 dollar shampoo, Dave's Brush, David loves Miss Congeniality, David Horowitz...The Jew! He likes to watch us masterbate and he goes: "Splat splooo slooop" all over us, Rico Squave, Mitch Headberg, Lewis Black, THE ROCK, The girl who wouldn't have gone to college if it weren't for her horse, Steve Austin, Hacksaw Jim Duggan, Shane Douglas, Steve Corino, Hewlett Packard, Bill Gates, Jack Victory, ROADKILL, Danny Doring, Electra, DAWN MARIE, Justin Credible, Lance Storm: From Calgary...Alberta, Canada, Vito Lagrassi, Mulletts all over the globe, Little Guido, BIG SAL E. GRAZIANO, Tracy Smothers, Make-out fest 1986, Jerry Lynn, Spike Dudley, Mike Awesome, Masato Tanaka, Masahiro Chono, Yoshihiro Tajiri, The Great Muta, g Fresh, INDIANS from CANNIBAL THE MUSICAL, ALFRED PACKER, Juan Swartz, SCHWAN, Humphries, Trey Parker, Matt Stone, Meatloaf, Barbara Streisand, Dale Earnhardt,George Carlin, Jose Canseco, Cream Boxed Sets, THAT LOVELY, LOVELY POETRY BOOK, and of course, PROVIDENCE!
Merry Christmas to:





Richard Donald Underwood III
UNCLE David Setliff! ( The accountant )
Jessyca Hope Blankenship
Melissa, Eve, Foster, Brandi, Travis Ray Cole, Wes, The bartender's Ass, Christina, Terry, Culver,Mick Foley, Scruggs, Meachum, Shott, Stonestreet, WENDY BRAY, Burgess, Christen Carper, Jodi Taylor, Elisha Cuppett, Stephanie Fowler, Amanda Cochran, Charles Bently, John Henson, Chris and Beth Henry, Mr. Godfrey, Mr. Bourne, Mr. Hankey, Kenny, Kyle, Cartman, Stan, Beavis, Butt-head, Bo Duke, Luke Duke, Daisy, Uncle Jessie, Rosco P. Colet,rain, Boss Hogg, The 1988 Oakland A's, Droz, Jesus, Satan, Enus, Christopher Walken, Keith Richards, Eric Clapton, Ginger Baker, Jack Bruce, Jeff Beck, Jimmy Page, Joe F. Perry, DMX, ODB, Ja-Rule, Paul Stanley, Gene Simmons, Peter Criss, ACE FREHLEY, Bruce Kulick, Vinnie Vincent, Eric Carr, Eric Singer, Jessica Comer, Barry Dillon, Bigger Thomas, Jared Barker, Shawn Michaels, Jericho, SABU, RVD, Brandy Bagar, Paige Mustard, BROOKE BOURNE, Matthew Wooten, Lala Wooten, James Richard Wooten, Tammy Underwood, Richard Underwood Jr., T-Bone, Cooter, Effie Epperson, Bob Epperson, the one armed guy who hangs around downtown, Thomas J. Whitmore, Bruce Raven, Wedny Bray,Drake Calloway, Stephanie Ballargin (?), Pete, the guys at Anheiser-Busch, Jack Daniels, Jim Bean, Joel "whether at home or here in Dayton the women are watchin me and maturbatin" Gertner, Cyrus, Joey Styles, Anthony Perdue, Spyder Crowley, Johnny Blast, Ward and June, Brian Logan, Joey Morton, Jared Rottenberry, J.D. Rottenberry, Grandmasta Sexxy, Scotty Too Hotty, Danny Cameron, Heather Lyons, Jamie Hypes, Leah Hypes, Michael Williams, Brandon Williams, Last year's French chick, This years french chick, Kelly Howell, Jessica Stamper, Hannah Stamper, Ryan Stamper, Jeff Burnopp, Caressa Barton, her older sister who was cool, Sarah Kinder, Sarah Stevenson, Stephanie Walk, Steve Matthews, Thomas White, Arron Combs, Ben and Jerry, Daniel Mounts, the guy who "raped" Elisha Cuppett, Shannon Stewart, Mike Haddox, the Puppies, Ulysses, GENERAL LEE, KIT, David Hasslehoff, Jan Micheal Vincent, The guy in teh cartoon who turned into his car, the smurfs, the FRAGGLEs, Wendy Bray, Mario and Luigi, Sonic the Hedgehog, Walt Disney's cremated body, Pricess Di (in hell), JFK Jr., Hitler, Musolini, Castro, My Dad's French chick, Bret Hart, Owen Hart, Mike Meyers, Austin Powers, Wayne Cambell, Andy Kaufman, Tony Clifton, Ladka, Jerry "the King" Lawler, The cast of MTV'S "The State", Beth Littleford, Jon Stewart, Mo Rocca, Vance Degeneres, Steve Cobert, Jimmy Kimel, Ben Stein, Adam Corolla, Bill Clinton, His cock, Monica Lewinsky, Linda Tripp, Stephanie Flowers, Paula Jones, Tonya Harding, Nancy Kerrigan, Jeff Goloulee, Lou E. Dnagerously, Tom Petty, Mandy Moore, Britanny Spears, Christina Agulera, Backstreet Boys, N'SYNC, 98 Degrees, 3 count, Fozzy Osbourne, Ozzy Osbourne, Ozzie Osborune, Rob Zombie, Phil Anselmo, Dimebag Darrel, Vinnie Paul, Rex, Waylon Jennings, Wille Nelson, Johnny Cash, Kris Kristopherson, Yoko Ono, Fred Durst, The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, CREAM, Aerosmith, KISS, 80's KISS, Reunited KISS, Wendy bray,Flotsam and Jetsom, Metallica, Metallica w/out Cliff, AC/DC, Motley Crue, Poison, Unskinny Rose, C.C. Deville, Ford Motor COmpany, Steve Mother-fucking Polychronopolous, Adam Sandler, the Chrysler Corp, Every 1969 Dodge Chager every built (particulalry ones painted orange), Oldmobiles, Geos, Breyers Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream, Nicole Johnson, Nicole Perry, Nicole Thompson, Nicole Artrip, Nicole Sullivan, Nicole Baurer,
Nicole-(ous) Cage, Danny Bonaducci, Leif Garret, Donny Osmond, Marie Osmond, Tommy Hilfigger, Wendy Bray,FUBU, Levi, Lee, Wendy's resturaunt chain, niggers everywhere, all the fags, Jews, spics, chinks, japs, honkies, wetbacks, Nazi's, The Axis Powers, No Doubt, Sean Gurtis, Bush, Silverchair, Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Pearl Necklace, Pearl Drums, Pearl S. Buck, Pearly Bowman, Eric Estrada, Every car every blown up on TV or in a cool movie, Arnold Shwartzenager, That skinny bitch off Dateline he's married to, Jane Pauley, Stone Phillips, Tom Brokaw, Dan Rather, Peter Jennings, My insanlely large cock, Bryant Gumball, Katie Kouric, Willard Scott, Al Roker, Matt Lauer, Ronald McDonald, Grimmace, the Hamburgler, Birdie, Mayor McCheese, Bogey, Pammy, Rick, Scott Steiner, Drizzt Do'Urden, Elminister, the Polterguist, the Exorcist, Linda Blair, the Blair Witch, Heather Donahue, Phil Donahue, Rosie O'donnel, Oprah, Harpo Productions, Wendy Bray,Happy Madison Productions, David Spade, Dana Carvey, The 1984 Indianpolis Colts, Garth Algar, The Church Lady, Ross Perot, Micheal Ducockass,
Saddam Hussaine, Macanudo Cigars, Allsop Mousepads, Value Jet, Pan-Am flight 109 over Lockerby Scotland, George Clinton and Parlamental Funk, All the transvestites of the world, all of the transvestites removed penises, Lesbians, Jim Carrey, Ace Ventura, The Cable Guy, Fake Andy Kaufman, Rubberface, Lloyd Christmas, Fender Guitars, Gibson Guitars, Wendy Bray, Les Paul, Leo Fender, Marshall Amplifiers, Michael Jackson, Iron Maiden, Black Sabbath, Matt Glover, All the members of The Razor Blade Cult, Lloyd Bridges, Beau Bridges, Bea Arthur, Estelle Getty, Tim Allen, Abe Lincoln, The hot version of Sigourney Weaver, Al Snow, Al Gets, Al Yankovic, Allen Thick, Dick Clark, Andy Rooney, Andy Rickter, Conan O'Brien, Roger Anderson, Frank Parker, Tori Amos, Jewel, Alex Trebek, Tori Wilson, Pat Sajak, Banjo Kazzooie, Twisted Metal 4, Doink the Clown, Pamela Anderson Lee, Tommy Lee, Alyssa Milano, Wendy Bray,Beth Hash, Ice Cube, Ice Tea, Vanilla Ice, M.C. Hammer, Villanos 1 through 42, Lenny Lane, Lodi, Tommy Orion, Billy Sadler, Benjamin Nyetanyahoo, Lolita Davidovich, Carnie Wilson, Indiana Jones, Han Solo, Luke Skywalker, James T. Kirk, Pubic hair spong, Barney the dinosaur, Big Bird, Snuffallunfagus, Will Smith, Tupac, Puff daddy, Pistacios Nuts, Mr. Peanut, Mr. T, Mr. Belding, Tweek and Craig, Zakk Wylde, Zack Morris, A.C. Slater, Kelly Capowski, Lisa Turtle, Screech, Jesse Spano, Carlos Santana, Wendy Bray, James Hettfield, Lars Ulrich, Kirk Hammet, Jason Newsted, Ralph Lauren, Ralph, Ronald Reagan, Jimmy Carter, George Bush, George Thorogood, David Arquette, Mariah Carey's Tits and Ass, The girl from Disc Jockey with perfect Tits and Ass, The all around hot girl from Sunglass Hut, The woman in Leopard Skin selling copper, The dudes that sell hoods, Tommmy Dreamer, all the guys at Nascar HQ, Tree Hugging Hippie Store, Dip N Dots, KISS dude at Spencers, Carie Worley, David at Kay Bee, Mindboggle, Silent Scope, Tyler Winkler, Henry Winkler, The Fonz, Jonie and Chachie, Richie Cunningham, Scott Bayo, Mel Saunders, Dustin Hoffman, Jack Nickelson, Hal Sparks, Mel Gibson, Bruce Willis, Chuck Norris, Tom Arnold, Walker,Texas Ranger, Randy Rhoads, Suzzanne Somers, Tom Selleck, Magnum P.I., Bert Reynolds, The cast of Riptide, Captain Winkie, Ben Folds Five, Steve Bushemi, Quentin Tarantino, Harvey Kytel, Penis pistol from duck til dawn, Mark Callaway, Salma Hayek, Jennifer Lopez, Daisey Fuetes, CATHERINE-ZETA-JONES, JENNY McCARTHY, Dennis Rodman, CARMAN ELECTRA, Denise Richards, Terri Runnels, Tori, Debra, Ivory, Chyna, Rena Mero, The chick with Black hair that was perfect, chick from Ames, Wendy Bray, Grace Slick, Jefferson Airplane, Clarence "the Fire Breathing Negro", Trojan Man, Julius Ceasar, CALIGULA, Stanley Kubrick, Oliver Stone, JFK, Jackie O, Steven Spielberg, Rob Sneider, George Lucas, Jeremy McGrath, Tony Hawk, Nick, Ryan, Roby and Tyler, Jergens Lotion, Hugo Boss, Squave, 12 dollar shampoo, Dave's Brush, David loves Miss Congeniality, David Horowitz...The Jew! He likes to watch us masterbate and he goes: "Splat splooo slooop" all over us, Rico Squave, Mitch Headberg, Lewis Black, THE ROCK, The girl who wouldn't have gone to college if it weren't for her horse, Steve Austin, Hacksaw Jim Duggan, Shane Douglas, Steve Corino, Hewlett Packard, Bill Gates, Jack Victory, ROADKILL, Danny Doring, Electra, DAWN MARIE, Justin Credible, Lance Storm: From Calgary...Alberta, Canada, Vito Lagrassi, Mulletts all over the globe, Little Guido, BIG SAL E. GRAZIANO, Tracy Smothers, Make-out fest 1986, Jerry Lynn, Spike Dudley, Mike Awesome, Masato Tanaka, Masahiro Chono, Yoshihiro Tajiri, The Great Muta, g Fresh, INDIANS from CANNIBAL THE MUSICAL, ALFRED PACKER, Juan Swartz, SCHWAN, Humphries, Trey Parker, Matt Stone, Meatloaf, Barbara Streisand, Dale Earnhardt,George Carlin, Jose Canseco, Cream Boxed Sets, THAT LOVELY, LOVELY POETRY BOOK, and of course, PROVIDENCE!
Merry Christmas to:





Richard Donald Underwood III
UNCLE David Setliff! ( The accountant )
Jessyca Hope Blankenship
Melissa, Eve, Foster, Brandi, Travis Ray Cole, Wes, The bartender's Ass, Christina, Terry, Culver,Mick Foley, Scruggs, Meachum, Shott, Stonestreet, WENDY BRAY, Burgess, Christen Carper, Jodi Taylor, Elisha Cuppett, Stephanie Fowler, Amanda Cochran, Charles Bently, John Henson, Chris and Beth Henry, Mr. Godfrey, Mr. Bourne, Mr. Hankey, Kenny, Kyle, Cartman, Stan, Beavis, Butt-head, Bo Duke, Luke Duke, Daisy, Uncle Jessie, Rosco P. Colet,rain, Boss Hogg, The 1988 Oakland A's, Droz, Jesus, Satan, Enus, Christopher Walken, Keith Richards, Eric Clapton, Ginger Baker, Jack Bruce, Jeff Beck, Jimmy Page, Joe F. Perry, DMX, ODB, Ja-Rule, Paul Stanley, Gene Simmons, Peter Criss, ACE FREHLEY, Bruce Kulick, Vinnie Vincent, Eric Carr, Eric Singer, Jessica Comer, Barry Dillon, Bigger Thomas, Jared Barker, Shawn Michaels, Jericho, SABU, RVD, Brandy Bagar, Paige Mustard, BROOKE BOURNE, Matthew Wooten, Lala Wooten, James Richard Wooten, Tammy Underwood, Richard Underwood Jr., T-Bone, Cooter, Effie Epperson, Bob Epperson, the one armed guy who hangs around downtown, Thomas J. Whitmore, Bruce Raven, Wedny Bray,Drake Calloway, Stephanie Ballargin (?), Pete, the guys at Anheiser-Busch, Jack Daniels, Jim Bean, Joel "whether at home or here in Dayton the women are watchin me and maturbatin" Gertner, Cyrus, Joey Styles, Anthony Perdue, Spyder Crowley, Johnny Blast, Ward and June, Brian Logan, Joey Morton, Jared Rottenberry, J.D. Rottenberry, Grandmasta Sexxy, Scotty Too Hotty, Danny Cameron, Heather Lyons, Jamie Hypes, Leah Hypes, Michael Williams, Brandon Williams, Last year's French chick, This years french chick, Kelly Howell, Jessica Stamper, Hannah Stamper, Ryan Stamper, Jeff Burnopp, Caressa Barton, her older sister who was cool, Sarah Kinder, Sarah Stevenson, Stephanie Walk, Steve Matthews, Thomas White, Arron Combs, Ben and Jerry, Daniel Mounts, the guy who "raped" Elisha Cuppett, Shannon Stewart, Mike Haddox, the Puppies, Ulysses, GENERAL LEE, KIT, David Hasslehoff, Jan Micheal Vincent, The guy in teh cartoon who turned into his car, the smurfs, the FRAGGLEs, Wendy Bray, Mario and Luigi, Sonic the Hedgehog, Walt Disney's cremated body, Pricess Di (in hell), JFK Jr., Hitler, Musolini, Castro, My Dad's French chick, Bret Hart, Owen Hart, Mike Meyers, Austin Powers, Wayne Cambell, Andy Kaufman, Tony Clifton, Ladka, Jerry "the King" Lawler, The cast of MTV'S "The State", Beth Littleford, Jon Stewart, Mo Rocca, Vance Degeneres, Steve Cobert, Jimmy Kimel, Ben Stein, Adam Corolla, Bill Clinton, His cock, Monica Lewinsky, Linda Tripp, Stephanie Flowers, Paula Jones, Tonya Harding, Nancy Kerrigan, Jeff Goloulee, Lou E. Dnagerously, Tom Petty, Mandy Moore, Britanny Spears, Christina Agulera, Backstreet Boys, N'SYNC, 98 Degrees, 3 count, Fozzy Osbourne, Ozzy Osbourne, Ozzie Osborune, Rob Zombie, Phil Anselmo, Dimebag Darrel, Vinnie Paul, Rex, Waylon Jennings, Wille Nelson, Johnny Cash, Kris Kristopherson, Yoko Ono, Fred Durst, The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, CREAM, Aerosmith, KISS, 80's KISS, Reunited KISS, Wendy bray,Flotsam and Jetsom, Metallica, Metallica w/out Cliff, AC/DC, Motley Crue, Poison, Unskinny Rose, C.C. Deville, Ford Motor COmpany, Steve Mother-fucking Polychronopolous, Adam Sandler, the Chrysler Corp, Every 1969 Dodge Chager every built (particulalry ones painted orange), Oldmobiles, Geos, Breyers Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream, Nicole Johnson, Nicole Perry, Nicole Thompson, Nicole Artrip, Nicole Sullivan, Nicole Baurer,
Nicole-(ous) Cage, Danny Bonaducci, Leif Garret, Donny Osmond, Marie Osmond, Tommy Hilfigger, Wendy Bray,FUBU, Levi, Lee, Wendy's resturaunt chain, niggers everywhere, all the fags, Jews, spics, chinks, japs, honkies, wetbacks, Nazi's, The Axis Powers, No Doubt, Sean Gurtis, Bush, Silverchair, Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Pearl Necklace, Pearl Drums, Pearl S. Buck, Pearly Bowman, Eric Estrada, Every car every blown up on TV or in a cool movie, Arnold Shwartzenager, That skinny bitch off Dateline he's married to, Jane Pauley, Stone Phillips, Tom Brokaw, Dan Rather, Peter Jennings, My insanlely large cock, Bryant Gumball, Katie Kouric, Willard Scott, Al Roker, Matt Lauer, Ronald McDonald, Grimmace, the Hamburgler, Birdie, Mayor McCheese, Bogey, Pammy, Rick, Scott Steiner, Drizzt Do'Urden, Elminister, the Polterguist, the Exorcist, Linda Blair, the Blair Witch, Heather Donahue, Phil Donahue, Rosie O'donnel, Oprah, Harpo Productions, Wendy Bray,Happy Madison Productions, David Spade, Dana Carvey, The 1984 Indianpolis Colts, Garth Algar, The Church Lady, Ross Perot, Micheal Ducockass,
Saddam Hussaine, Macanudo Cigars, Allsop Mousepads, Value Jet, Pan-Am flight 109 over Lockerby Scotland, George Clinton and Parlamental Funk, All the transvestites of the world, all of the transvestites removed penises, Lesbians, Jim Carrey, Ace Ventura, The Cable Guy, Fake Andy Kaufman, Rubberface, Lloyd Christmas, Fender Guitars, Gibson Guitars, Wendy Bray, Les Paul, Leo Fender, Marshall Amplifiers, Michael Jackson, Iron Maiden, Black Sabbath, Matt Glover, All the members of The Razor Blade Cult, Lloyd Bridges, Beau Bridges, Bea Arthur, Estelle Getty, Tim Allen, Abe Lincoln, The hot version of Sigourney Weaver, Al Snow, Al Gets, Al Yankovic, Allen Thick, Dick Clark, Andy Rooney, Andy Rickter, Conan O'Brien, Roger Anderson, Frank Parker, Tori Amos, Jewel, Alex Trebek, Tori Wilson, Pat Sajak, Banjo Kazzooie, Twisted Metal 4, Doink the Clown, Pamela Anderson Lee, Tommy Lee, Alyssa Milano, Wendy Bray,Beth Hash, Ice Cube, Ice Tea, Vanilla Ice, M.C. Hammer, Villanos 1 through 42, Lenny Lane, Lodi, Tommy Orion, Billy Sadler, Benjamin Nyetanyahoo, Lolita Davidovich, Carnie Wilson, Indiana Jones, Han Solo, Luke Skywalker, James T. Kirk, Pubic hair spong, Barney the dinosaur, Big Bird, Snuffallunfagus, Will Smith, Tupac, Puff daddy, Pistacios Nuts, Mr. Peanut, Mr. T, Mr. Belding, Tweek and Craig, Zakk Wylde, Zack Morris, A.C. Slater, Kelly Capowski, Lisa Turtle, Screech, Jesse Spano, Carlos Santana, Wendy Bray, James Hettfield, Lars Ulrich, Kirk Hammet, Jason Newsted, Ralph Lauren, Ralph, Ronald Reagan, Jimmy Carter, George Bush, George Thorogood, David Arquette, Mariah Carey's Tits and Ass, The girl from Disc Jockey with perfect Tits and Ass, The all around hot girl from Sunglass Hut, The woman in Leopard Skin selling copper, The dudes that sell hoods, Tommmy Dreamer, all the guys at Nascar HQ, Tree Hugging Hippie Store, Dip N Dots, KISS dude at Spencers, Carie Worley, David at Kay Bee, Mindboggle, Silent Scope, Tyler Winkler, Henry Winkler, The Fonz, Jonie and Chachie, Richie Cunningham, Scott Bayo, Mel Saunders, Dustin Hoffman, Jack Nickelson, Hal Sparks, Mel Gibson, Bruce Willis, Chuck Norris, Tom Arnold, Walker,Texas Ranger, Randy Rhoads, Suzzanne Somers, Tom Selleck, Magnum P.I., Bert Reynolds, The cast of Riptide, Captain Winkie, Ben Folds Five, Steve Bushemi, Quentin Tarantino, Harvey Kytel, Penis pistol from duck til dawn, Mark Callaway, Salma Hayek, Jennifer Lopez, Daisey Fuetes, CATHERINE-ZETA-JONES, JENNY McCARTHY, Dennis Rodman, CARMAN ELECTRA, Denise Richards, Terri Runnels, Tori, Debra, Ivory, Chyna, Rena Mero, The chick with Black hair that was perfect, chick from Ames, Wendy Bray, Grace Slick, Jefferson Airplane, Clarence "the Fire Breathing Negro", Trojan Man, Julius Ceasar, CALIGULA, Stanley Kubrick, Oliver Stone, JFK, Jackie O, Steven Spielberg, Rob Sneider, George Lucas, Jeremy McGrath, Tony Hawk, Nick, Ryan, Roby and Tyler, Jergens Lotion, Hugo Boss, Squave, 12 dollar shampoo, Dave's Brush, David loves Miss Congeniality, David Horowitz...The Jew! He likes to watch us masterbate and he goes: "Splat splooo slooop" all over us, Rico Squave, Mitch Headberg, Lewis Black, THE ROCK, The girl who wouldn't have gone to college if it weren't for her horse, Steve Austin, Hacksaw Jim Duggan, Shane Douglas, Steve Corino, Hewlett Packard, Bill Gates, Jack Victory, ROADKILL, Danny Doring, Electra, DAWN MARIE, Justin Credible, Lance Storm: From Calgary...Alberta, Canada, Vito Lagrassi, Mulletts all over the globe, Little Guido, BIG SAL E. GRAZIANO, Tracy Smothers, Make-out fest 1986, Jerry Lynn, Spike Dudley, Mike Awesome, Masato Tanaka, Masahiro Chono, Yoshihiro Tajiri, The Great Muta, g Fresh, INDIANS from CANNIBAL THE MUSICAL, ALFRED PACKER, Juan Swartz, SCHWAN, Humphries, Trey Parker, Matt Stone, Meatloaf, Barbara Streisand, Dale Earnhardt,George Carlin, Jose Canseco, Cream Boxed Sets, THAT LOVELY, LOVELY POETRY BOOK, and of course, PROVIDENCE!Merry Christmas to:





Richard Donald Underwood III
UNCLE David Setliff! ( The accountant )
Jessyca Hope Blankenship
Melissa, Eve, Foster, Brandi, Travis Ray Cole, Wes, The bartender's Ass, Christina, Terry, Culver,Mick Foley, Scruggs, Meachum, Shott, Stonestreet, WENDY BRAY, Burgess, Christen Carper, Jodi Taylor, Elisha Cuppett, Stephanie Fowler, Amanda Cochran, Charles Bently, John Henson, Chris and Beth Henry, Mr. Godfrey, Mr. Bourne, Mr. Hankey, Kenny, Kyle, Cartman, Stan, Beavis, Butt-head, Bo Duke, Luke Duke, Daisy, Uncle Jessie, Rosco P. Colet,rain, Boss Hogg, The 1988 Oakland A's, Droz, Jesus, Satan, Enus, Christopher Walken, Keith Richards, Eric Clapton, Ginger Baker, Jack Bruce, Jeff Beck, Jimmy Page, Joe F. Perry, DMX, ODB, Ja-Rule, Paul Stanley, Gene Simmons, Peter Criss, ACE FREHLEY, Bruce Kulick, Vinnie Vincent, Eric Carr, Eric Singer, Jessica Comer, Barry Dillon, Bigger Thomas, Jared Barker, Shawn Michaels, Jericho, SABU, RVD, Brandy Bagar, Paige Mustard, BROOKE BOURNE, Matthew Wooten, Lala Wooten, James Richard Wooten, Tammy Underwood, Richard Underwood Jr., T-Bone, Cooter, Effie Epperson, Bob Epperson, the one armed guy who hangs around downtown, Thomas J. Whitmore, Bruce Raven, Wedny Bray,Drake Calloway, Stephanie Ballargin (?), Pete, the guys at Anheiser-Busch, Jack Daniels, Jim Bean, Joel "whether at home or here in Dayton the women are watchin me and maturbatin" Gertner, Cyrus, Joey Styles, Anthony Perdue, Spyder Crowley, Johnny Blast, Ward and June, Brian Logan, Joey Morton, Jared Rottenberry, J.D. Rottenberry, Grandmasta Sexxy, Scotty Too Hotty, Danny Cameron, Heather Lyons, Jamie Hypes, Leah Hypes, Michael Williams, Brandon Williams, Last year's French chick, This years french chick, Kelly Howell, Jessica Stamper, Hannah Stamper, Ryan Stamper, Jeff Burnopp, Caressa Barton, her older sister who was cool, Sarah Kinder, Sarah Stevenson, Stephanie Walk, Steve Matthews, Thomas White, Arron Combs, Ben and Jerry, Daniel Mounts, the guy who "raped" Elisha Cuppett, Shannon Stewart, Mike Haddox, the Puppies, Ulysses, GENERAL LEE, KIT, David Hasslehoff, Jan Micheal Vincent, The guy in teh cartoon who turned into his car, the smurfs, the FRAGGLEs, Wendy Bray, Mario and Luigi, Sonic the Hedgehog, Walt Disney's cremated body, Pricess Di (in hell), JFK Jr., Hitler, Musolini, Castro, My Dad's French chick, Bret Hart, Owen Hart, Mike Meyers, Austin Powers, Wayne Cambell, Andy Kaufman, Tony Clifton, Ladka, Jerry "the King" Lawler, The cast of MTV'S "The State", Beth Littleford, Jon Stewart, Mo Rocca, Vance Degeneres, Steve Cobert, Jimmy Kimel, Ben Stein, Adam Corolla, Bill Clinton, His cock, Monica Lewinsky, Linda Tripp, Stephanie Flowers, Paula Jones, Tonya Harding, Nancy Kerrigan, Jeff Goloulee, Lou E. Dnagerously, Tom Petty, Mandy Moore, Britanny Spears, Christina Agulera, Backstreet Boys, N'SYNC, 98 Degrees, 3 count, Fozzy Osbourne, Ozzy Osbourne, Ozzie Osborune, Rob Zombie, Phil Anselmo, Dimebag Darrel, Vinnie Paul, Rex, Waylon Jennings, Wille Nelson, Johnny Cash, Kris Kristopherson, Yoko Ono, Fred Durst, The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, CREAM, Aerosmith, KISS, 80's KISS, Reunited KISS, Wendy bray,Flotsam and Jetsom, Metallica, Metallica w/out Cliff, AC/DC, Motley Crue, Poison, Unskinny Rose, C.C. Deville, Ford Motor COmpany, Steve Mother-fucking Polychronopolous, Adam Sandler, the Chrysler Corp, Every 1969 Dodge Chager every built (particulalry ones painted orange), Oldmobiles, Geos, Breyers Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream, Nicole Johnson, Nicole Perry, Nicole Thompson, Nicole Artrip, Nicole Sullivan, Nicole Baurer,
Nicole-(ous) Cage, Danny Bonaducci, Leif Garret, Donny Osmond, Marie Osmond, Tommy Hilfigger, Wendy Bray,FUBU, Levi, Lee, Wendy's resturaunt chain, niggers everywhere, all the fags, Jews, spics, chinks, japs, honkies, wetbacks, Nazi's, The Axis Powers, No Doubt, Sean Gurtis, Bush, Silverchair, Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Pearl Necklace, Pearl Drums, Pearl S. Buck, Pearly Bowman, Eric Estrada, Every car every blown up on TV or in a cool movie, Arnold Shwartzenager, That skinny bitch off Dateline he's married to, Jane Pauley, Stone Phillips, Tom Brokaw, Dan Rather, Peter Jennings, My insanlely large cock, Bryant Gumball, Katie Kouric, Willard Scott, Al Roker, Matt Lauer, Ronald McDonald, Grimmace, the Hamburgler, Birdie, Mayor McCheese, Bogey, Pammy, Rick, Scott Steiner, Drizzt Do'Urden, Elminister, the Polterguist, the Exorcist, Linda Blair, the Blair Witch, Heather Donahue, Phil Donahue, Rosie O'donnel, Oprah, Harpo Productions, Wendy Bray,Happy Madison Productions, David Spade, Dana Carvey, The 1984 Indianpolis Colts, Garth Algar, The Church Lady, Ross Perot, Micheal Ducockass,
Saddam Hussaine, Macanudo Cigars, Allsop Mousepads, Value Jet, Pan-Am flight 109 over Lockerby Scotland, George Clinton and Parlamental Funk, All the transvestites of the world, all of the transvestites removed penises, Lesbians, Jim Carrey, Ace Ventura, The Cable Guy, Fake Andy Kaufman, Rubberface, Lloyd Christmas, Fender Guitars, Gibson Guitars, Wendy Bray, Les Paul, Leo Fender, Marshall Amplifiers, Michael Jackson, Iron Maiden, Black Sabbath, Matt Glover, All the members of The Razor Blade Cult, Lloyd Bridges, Beau Bridges, Bea Arthur, Estelle Getty, Tim Allen, Abe Lincoln, The hot version of Sigourney Weaver, Al Snow, Al Gets, Al Yankovic, Allen Thick, Dick Clark, Andy Rooney, Andy Rickter, Conan O'Brien, Roger Anderson, Frank Parker, Tori Amos, Jewel, Alex Trebek, Tori Wilson, Pat Sajak, Banjo Kazzooie, Twisted Metal 4, Doink the Clown, Pamela Anderson Lee, Tommy Lee, Alyssa Milano, Wendy Bray,Beth Hash, Ice Cube, Ice Tea, Vanilla Ice, M.C. Hammer, Villanos 1 through 42, Lenny Lane, Lodi, Tommy Orion, Billy Sadler, Benjamin Nyetanyahoo, Lolita Davidovich, Carnie Wilson, Indiana Jones, Han Solo, Luke Skywalker, James T. Kirk, Pubic hair spong, Barney the dinosaur, Big Bird, Snuffallunfagus, Will Smith, Tupac, Puff daddy, Pistacios Nuts, Mr. Peanut, Mr. T, Mr. Belding, Tweek and Craig, Zakk Wylde, Zack Morris, A.C. Slater, Kelly Capowski, Lisa Turtle, Screech, Jesse Spano, Carlos Santana, Wendy Bray, James Hettfield, Lars Ulrich, Kirk Hammet, Jason Newsted, Ralph Lauren, Ralph, Ronald Reagan, Jimmy Carter, George Bush, George Thorogood, David Arquette, Mariah Carey's Tits and Ass, The girl from Disc Jockey with perfect Tits and Ass, The all around hot girl from Sunglass Hut, The woman in Leopard Skin selling copper, The dudes that sell hoods, Tommmy Dreamer, all the guys at Nascar HQ, Tree Hugging Hippie Store, Dip N Dots, KISS dude at Spencers, Carie Worley, David at Kay Bee, Mindboggle, Silent Scope, Tyler Winkler, Henry Winkler, The Fonz, Jonie and Chachie, Richie Cunningham, Scott Bayo, Mel Saunders, Dustin Hoffman, Jack Nickelson, Hal Sparks, Mel Gibson, Bruce Willis, Chuck Norris, Tom Arnold, Walker,Texas Ranger, Randy Rhoads, Suzzanne Somers, Tom Selleck, Magnum P.I., Bert Reynolds, The cast of Riptide, Captain Winkie, Ben Folds Five, Steve Bushemi, Quentin Tarantino, Harvey Kytel, Penis pistol from duck til dawn, Mark Callaway, Salma Hayek, Jennifer Lopez, Daisey Fuetes, CATHERINE-ZETA-JONES, JENNY McCARTHY, Dennis Rodman, CARMAN ELECTRA, Denise Richards, Terri Runnels, Tori, Debra, Ivory, Chyna, Rena Mero, The chick with Black hair that was perfect, chick from Ames, Wendy Bray, Grace Slick, Jefferson Airplane, Clarence "the Fire Breathing Negro", Trojan Man, Julius Ceasar, CALIGULA, Stanley Kubrick, Oliver Stone, JFK, Jackie O, Steven Spielberg, Rob Sneider, George Lucas, Jeremy McGrath, Tony Hawk, Nick, Ryan, Roby and Tyler, Jergens Lotion, Hugo Boss, Squave, 12 dollar shampoo, Dave's Brush, David loves Miss Congeniality, David Horowitz...The Jew! He likes to watch us masterbate and he goes: "Splat splooo slooop" all over us, Rico Squave, Mitch Headberg, Lewis Black, THE ROCK, The girl who wouldn't have gone to college if it weren't for her horse, Steve Austin, Hacksaw Jim Duggan, Shane Douglas, Steve Corino, Hewlett Packard, Bill Gates, Jack Victory, ROADKILL, Danny Doring, Electra, DAWN MARIE, Justin Credible, Lance Storm: From Calgary...Alberta, Canada, Vito Lagrassi, Mulletts all over the globe, Little Guido, BIG SAL E. GRAZIANO, Tracy Smothers, Make-out fest 1986, Jerry Lynn, Spike Dudley, Mike Awesome, Masato Tanaka, Masahiro Chono, Yoshihiro Tajiri, The Great Muta, g Fresh, INDIANS from CANNIBAL THE MUSICAL, ALFRED PACKER, Juan Swartz, SCHWAN, Humphries, Trey Parker, Matt Stone, Meatloaf, Barbara Streisand, Dale Earnhardt,George Carlin, Jose Canseco, Cream Boxed Sets, THAT LOVELY, LOVELY POETRY BOOK, and of course, PROVIDENCE!
Merry Christmas to:





Richard Donald Underwood III
UNCLE David Setliff! ( The accountant )
Jessyca Hope Blankenship
Melissa, Eve, Foster, Brandi, Travis Ray Cole, Wes, The bartender's Ass, Christina, Terry, Culver,Mick Foley, Scruggs, Meachum, Shott, Stonestreet, WENDY BRAY, Burgess, Christen Carper, Jodi Taylor, Elisha Cuppett, Stephanie Fowler, Amanda Cochran, Charles Bently, John Henson, Chris and Beth Henry, Mr. Godfrey, Mr. Bourne, Mr. Hankey, Kenny, Kyle, Cartman, Stan, Beavis, Butt-head, Bo Duke, Luke Duke, Daisy, Uncle Jessie, Rosco P. Colet,rain, Boss Hogg, The 1988 Oakland A's, Droz, Jesus, Satan, Enus, Christopher Walken, Keith Richards, Eric Clapton, Ginger Baker, Jack Bruce, Jeff Beck, Jimmy Page, Joe F. Perry, DMX, ODB, Ja-Rule, Paul Stanley, Gene Simmons, Peter Criss, ACE FREHLEY, Bruce Kulick, Vinnie Vincent, Eric Carr, Eric Singer, Jessica Comer, Barry Dillon, Bigger Thomas, Jared Barker, Shawn Michaels, Jericho, SABU, RVD, Brandy Bagar, Paige Mustard, BROOKE BOURNE, Matthew Wooten, Lala Wooten, James Richard Wooten, Tammy Underwood, Richard Underwood Jr., T-Bone, Cooter, Effie Epperson, Bob Epperson, the one armed guy who hangs around downtown, Thomas J. Whitmore, Bruce Raven, Wedny Bray,Drake Calloway, Stephanie Ballargin (?), Pete, the guys at Anheiser-Busch, Jack Daniels, Jim Bean, Joel "whether at home or here in Dayton the women are watchin me and maturbatin" Gertner, Cyrus, Joey Styles, Anthony Perdue, Spyder Crowley, Johnny Blast, Ward and June, Brian Logan, Joey Morton, Jared Rottenberry, J.D. Rottenberry, Grandmasta Sexxy, Scotty Too Hotty, Danny Cameron, Heather Lyons, Jamie Hypes, Leah Hypes, Michael Williams, Brandon Williams, Last year's French chick, This years french chick, Kelly Howell, Jessica Stamper, Hannah Stamper, Ryan Stamper, Jeff Burnopp, Caressa Barton, her older sister who was cool, Sarah Kinder, Sarah Stevenson, Stephanie Walk, Steve Matthews, Thomas White, Arron Combs, Ben and Jerry, Daniel Mounts, the guy who "raped" Elisha Cuppett, Shannon Stewart, Mike Haddox, the Puppies, Ulysses, GENERAL LEE, KIT, David Hasslehoff, Jan Micheal Vincent, The guy in teh cartoon who turned into his car, the smurfs, the FRAGGLEs, Wendy Bray, Mario and Luigi, Sonic the Hedgehog, Walt Disney's cremated body, Pricess Di (in hell), JFK Jr., Hitler, Musolini, Castro, My Dad's French chick, Bret Hart, Owen Hart, Mike Meyers, Austin Powers, Wayne Cambell, Andy Kaufman, Tony Clifton, Ladka, Jerry "the King" Lawler, The cast of MTV'S "The State", Beth Littleford, Jon Stewart, Mo Rocca, Vance Degeneres, Steve Cobert, Jimmy Kimel, Ben Stein, Adam Corolla, Bill Clinton, His cock, Monica Lewinsky, Linda Tripp, Stephanie Flowers, Paula Jones, Tonya Harding, Nancy Kerrigan, Jeff Goloulee, Lou E. Dnagerously, Tom Petty, Mandy Moore, Britanny Spears, Christina Agulera, Backstreet Boys, N'SYNC, 98 Degrees, 3 count, Fozzy Osbourne, Ozzy Osbourne, Ozzie Osborune, Rob Zombie, Phil Anselmo, Dimebag Darrel, Vinnie Paul, Rex, Waylon Jennings, Wille Nelson, Johnny Cash, Kris Kristopherson, Yoko Ono, Fred Durst, The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, CREAM, Aerosmith, KISS, 80's KISS, Reunited KISS, Wendy bray,Flotsam and Jetsom, Metallica, Metallica w/out Cliff, AC/DC, Motley Crue, Poison, Unskinny Rose, C.C. Deville, Ford Motor COmpany, Steve Mother-fucking Polychronopolous, Adam Sandler, the Chrysler Corp, Every 1969 Dodge Chager every built (particulalry ones painted orange), Oldmobiles, Geos, Breyers Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream, Nicole Johnson, Nicole Perry, Nicole Thompson, Nicole Artrip, Nicole Sullivan, Nicole Baurer,
Nicole-(ous) Cage, Danny Bonaducci, Leif Garret, Donny Osmond, Marie Osmond, Tommy Hilfigger, Wendy Bray,FUBU, Levi, Lee, Wendy's resturaunt chain, niggers everywhere, all the fags, Jews, spics, chinks, japs, honkies, wetbacks, Nazi's, The Axis Powers, No Doubt, Sean Gurtis, Bush, Silverchair, Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Pearl Necklace, Pearl Drums, Pearl S. Buck, Pearly Bowman, Eric Estrada, Every car every blown up on TV or in a cool movie, Arnold Shwartzenager, That skinny bitch off Dateline he's married to, Jane Pauley, Stone Phillips, Tom Brokaw, Dan Rather, Peter Jennings, My insanlely large cock, Bryant Gumball, Katie Kouric, Willard Scott, Al Roker, Matt Lauer, Ronald McDonald, Grimmace, the Hamburgler, Birdie, Mayor McCheese, Bogey, Pammy, Rick, Scott Steiner, Drizzt Do'Urden, Elminister, the Polterguist, the Exorcist, Linda Blair, the Blair Witch, Heather Donahue, Phil Donahue, Rosie O'donnel, Oprah, Harpo Productions, Wendy Bray,Happy Madison Productions, David Spade, Dana Carvey, The 1984 Indianpolis Colts, Garth Algar, The Church Lady, Ross Perot, Micheal Ducockass,
Saddam Hussaine, Macanudo Cigars, Allsop Mousepads, Value Jet, Pan-Am flight 109 over Lockerby Scotland, George Clinton and Parlamental Funk, All the transvestites of the world, all of the transvestites removed penises, Lesbians, Jim Carrey, Ace Ventura, The Cable Guy, Fake Andy Kaufman, Rubberface, Lloyd Christmas, Fender Guitars, Gibson Guitars, Wendy Bray, Les Paul, Leo Fender, Marshall Amplifiers, Michael Jackson, Iron Maiden, Black Sabbath, Matt Glover, All the members of The Razor Blade Cult, Lloyd Bridges, Beau Bridges, Bea Arthur, Estelle Getty, Tim Allen, Abe Lincoln, The hot version of Sigourney Weaver, Al Snow, Al Gets, Al Yankovic, Allen Thick, Dick Clark, Andy Rooney, Andy Rickter, Conan O'Brien, Roger Anderson, Frank Parker, Tori Amos, Jewel, Alex Trebek, Tori Wilson, Pat Sajak, Banjo Kazzooie, Twisted Metal 4, Doink the Clown, Pamela Anderson Lee, Tommy Lee, Alyssa Milano, Wendy Bray,Beth Hash, Ice Cube, Ice Tea, Vanilla Ice, M.C. Hammer, Villanos 1 through 42, Lenny Lane, Lodi, Tommy Orion, Billy Sadler, Benjamin Nyetanyahoo, Lolita Davidovich, Carnie Wilson, Indiana Jones, Han Solo, Luke Skywalker, James T. Kirk, Pubic hair spong, Barney the dinosaur, Big Bird, Snuffallunfagus, Will Smith, Tupac, Puff daddy, Pistacios Nuts, Mr. Peanut, Mr. T, Mr. Belding, Tweek and Craig, Zakk Wylde, Zack Morris, A.C. Slater, Kelly Capowski, Lisa Turtle, Screech, Jesse Spano, Carlos Santana, Wendy Bray, James Hettfield, Lars Ulrich, Kirk Hammet, Jason Newsted, Ralph Lauren, Ralph, Ronald Reagan, Jimmy Carter, George Bush, George Thorogood, David Arquette, Mariah Carey's Tits and Ass, The girl from Disc Jockey with perfect Tits and Ass, The all around hot girl from Sunglass Hut, The woman in Leopard Skin selling copper, The dudes that sell hoods, Tommmy Dreamer, all the guys at Nascar HQ, Tree Hugging Hippie Store, Dip N Dots, KISS dude at Spencers, Carie Worley, David at Kay Bee, Mindboggle, Silent Scope, Tyler Winkler, Henry Winkler, The Fonz, Jonie and Chachie, Richie Cunningham, Scott Bayo, Mel Saunders, Dustin Hoffman, Jack Nickelson, Hal Sparks, Mel Gibson, Bruce Willis, Chuck Norris, Tom Arnold, Walker,Texas Ranger, Randy Rhoads, Suzzanne Somers, Tom Selleck, Magnum P.I., Bert Reynolds, The cast of Riptide, Captain Winkie, Ben Folds Five, Steve Bushemi, Quentin Tarantino, Harvey Kytel, Penis pistol from duck til dawn, Mark Callaway, Salma Hayek, Jennifer Lopez, Daisey Fuetes, CATHERINE-ZETA-JONES, JENNY McCARTHY, Dennis Rodman, CARMAN ELECTRA, Denise Richards, Terri Runnels, Tori, Debra, Ivory, Chyna, Rena Mero, The chick with Black hair that was perfect, chick from Ames, Wendy Bray, Grace Slick, Jefferson Airplane, Clarence "the Fire Breathing Negro", Trojan Man, Julius Ceasar, CALIGULA, Stanley Kubrick, Oliver Stone, JFK, Jackie O, Steven Spielberg, Rob Sneider, George Lucas, Jeremy McGrath, Tony Hawk, Nick, Ryan, Roby and Tyler, Jergens Lotion, Hugo Boss, Squave, 12 dollar shampoo, Dave's Brush, David loves Miss Congeniality, David Horowitz...The Jew! He likes to watch us masterbate and he goes: "Splat splooo slooop" all over us, Rico Squave, Mitch Headberg, Lewis Black, THE ROCK, The girl who wouldn't have gone to college if it weren't for her horse, Steve Austin, Hacksaw Jim Duggan, Shane Douglas, Steve Corino, Hewlett Packard, Bill Gates, Jack Victory, ROADKILL, Danny Doring, Electra, DAWN MARIE, Justin Credible, Lance Storm: From Calgary...Alberta, Canada, Vito Lagrassi, Mulletts all over the globe, Little Guido, BIG SAL E. GRAZIANO, Tracy Smothers, Make-out fest 1986, Jerry Lynn, Spike Dudley, Mike Awesome, Masato Tanaka, Masahiro Chono, Yoshihiro Tajiri, The Great Muta, g Fresh, INDIANS from CANNIBAL THE MUSICAL, ALFRED PACKER, Juan Swartz, SCHWAN, Humphries, Trey Parker, Matt Stone, Meatloaf, Barbara Streisand, Dale Earnhardt,George Carlin, Jose Canseco, Cream Boxed Sets, THAT LOVELY, LOVELY POETRY BOOK, and of course, PROVIDENCE!
Merry Christmas to:





Richard Donald Underwood III
UNCLE David Setliff! ( The accountant )
Jessyca Hope Blankenship
Melissa, Eve, Foster, Brandi, Travis Ray Cole, Wes, The bartender's Ass, Christina, Terry, Culver,Mick Foley, Scruggs, Meachum, Shott, Stonestreet, WENDY BRAY, Burgess, Christen Carper, Jodi Taylor, Elisha Cuppett, Stephanie Fowler, Amanda Cochran, Charles Bently, John Henson, Chris and Beth Henry, Mr. Godfrey, Mr. Bourne, Mr. Hankey, Kenny, Kyle, Cartman, Stan, Beavis, Butt-head, Bo Duke, Luke Duke, Daisy, Uncle Jessie, Rosco P. Colet,rain, Boss Hogg, The 1988 Oakland A's, Droz, Jesus, Satan, Enus, Christopher Walken, Keith Richards, Eric Clapton, Ginger Baker, Jack Bruce, Jeff Beck, Jimmy Page, Joe F. Perry, DMX, ODB, Ja-Rule, Paul Stanley, Gene Simmons, Peter Criss, ACE FREHLEY, Bruce Kulick, Vinnie Vincent, Eric Carr, Eric Singer, Jessica Comer, Barry Dillon, Bigger Thomas, Jared Barker, Shawn Michaels, Jericho, SABU, RVD, Brandy Bagar, Paige Mustard, BROOKE BOURNE, Matthew Wooten, Lala Wooten, James Richard Wooten, Tammy Underwood, Richard Underwood Jr., T-Bone, Cooter, Effie Epperson, Bob Epperson, the one armed guy who hangs around downtown, Thomas J. Whitmore, Bruce Raven, Wedny Bray,Drake Calloway, Stephanie Ballargin (?), Pete, the guys at Anheiser-Busch, Jack Daniels, Jim Bean, Joel "whether at home or here in Dayton the women are watchin me and maturbatin" Gertner, Cyrus, Joey Styles, Anthony Perdue, Spyder Crowley, Johnny Blast, Ward and June, Brian Logan, Joey Morton, Jared Rottenberry, J.D. Rottenberry, Grandmasta Sexxy, Scotty Too Hotty, Danny Cameron, Heather Lyons, Jamie Hypes, Leah Hypes, Michael Williams, Brandon Williams, Last year's French chick, This years french chick, Kelly Howell, Jessica Stamper, Hannah Stamper, Ryan Stamper, Jeff Burnopp, Caressa Barton, her older sister who was cool, Sarah Kinder, Sarah Stevenson, Stephanie Walk, Steve Matthews, Thomas White, Arron Combs, Ben and Jerry, Daniel Mounts, the guy who "raped" Elisha Cuppett, Shannon Stewart, Mike Haddox, the Puppies, Ulysses, GENERAL LEE, KIT, David Hasslehoff, Jan Micheal Vincent, The guy in teh cartoon who turned into his car, the smurfs, the FRAGGLEs, Wendy Bray, Mario and Luigi, Sonic the Hedgehog, Walt Disney's cremated body, Pricess Di (in hell), JFK Jr., Hitler, Musolini, Castro, My Dad's French chick, Bret Hart, Owen Hart, Mike Meyers, Austin Powers, Wayne Cambell, Andy Kaufman, Tony Clifton, Ladka, Jerry "the King" Lawler, The cast of MTV'S "The State", Beth Littleford, Jon Stewart, Mo Rocca, Vance Degeneres, Steve Cobert, Jimmy Kimel, Ben Stein, Adam Corolla, Bill Clinton, His cock, Monica Lewinsky, Linda Tripp, Stephanie Flowers, Paula Jones, Tonya Harding, Nancy Kerrigan, Jeff Goloulee, Lou E. Dnagerously, Tom Petty, Mandy Moore, Britanny Spears, Christina Agulera, Backstreet Boys, N'SYNC, 98 Degrees, 3 count, Fozzy Osbourne, Ozzy Osbourne, Ozzie Osborune, Rob Zombie, Phil Anselmo, Dimebag Darrel, Vinnie Paul, Rex, Waylon Jennings, Wille Nelson, Johnny Cash, Kris Kristopherson, Yoko Ono, Fred Durst, The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, CREAM, Aerosmith, KISS, 80's KISS, Reunited KISS, Wendy bray,Flotsam and Jetsom, Metallica, Metallica w/out Cliff, AC/DC, Motley Crue, Poison, Unskinny Rose, C.C. Deville, Ford Motor COmpany, Steve Mother-fucking Polychronopolous, Adam Sandler, the Chrysler Corp, Every 1969 Dodge Chager every built (particulalry ones painted orange), Oldmobiles, Geos, Breyers Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream, Nicole Johnson, Nicole Perry, Nicole Thompson, Nicole Artrip, Nicole Sullivan, Nicole Baurer,
Nicole-(ous) Cage, Danny Bonaducci, Leif Garret, Donny Osmond, Marie Osmond, Tommy Hilfigger, Wendy Bray,FUBU, Levi, Lee, Wendy's resturaunt chain, niggers everywhere, all the fags, Jews, spics, chinks, japs, honkies, wetbacks, Nazi's, The Axis Powers, No Doubt, Sean Gurtis, Bush, Silverchair, Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Pearl Necklace, Pearl Drums, Pearl S. Buck, Pearly Bowman, Eric Estrada, Every car every blown up on TV or in a cool movie, Arnold Shwartzenager, That skinny bitch off Dateline he's married to, Jane Pauley, Stone Phillips, Tom Brokaw, Dan Rather, Peter Jennings, My insanlely large cock, Bryant Gumball, Katie Kouric, Willard Scott, Al Roker, Matt Lauer, Ronald McDonald, Grimmace, the Hamburgler, Birdie, Mayor McCheese, Bogey, Pammy, Rick, Scott Steiner, Drizzt Do'Urden, Elminister, the Polterguist, the Exorcist, Linda Blair, the Blair Witch, Heather Donahue, Phil Donahue, Rosie O'donnel, Oprah, Harpo Productions, Wendy Bray,Happy Madison Productions, David Spade, Dana Carvey, The 1984 Indianpolis Colts, Garth Algar, The Church Lady, Ross Perot, Micheal Ducockass,
Saddam Hussaine, Macanudo Cigars, Allsop Mousepads, Value Jet, Pan-Am flight 109 over Lockerby Scotland, George Clinton and Parlamental Funk, All the transvestites of the world, all of the transvestites removed penises, Lesbians, Jim Carrey, Ace Ventura, The Cable Guy, Fake Andy Kaufman, Rubberface, Lloyd Christmas, Fender Guitars, Gibson Guitars, Wendy Bray, Les Paul, Leo Fender, Marshall Amplifiers, Michael Jackson, Iron Maiden, Black Sabbath, Matt Glover, All the members of The Razor Blade Cult, Lloyd Bridges, Beau Bridges, Bea Arthur, Estelle Getty, Tim Allen, Abe Lincoln, The hot version of Sigourney Weaver, Al Snow, Al Gets, Al Yankovic, Allen Thick, Dick Clark, Andy Rooney, Andy Rickter, Conan O'Brien, Roger Anderson, Frank Parker, Tori Amos, Jewel, Alex Trebek, Tori Wilson, Pat Sajak, Banjo Kazzooie, Twisted Metal 4, Doink the Clown, Pamela Anderson Lee, Tommy Lee, Alyssa Milano, Wendy Bray,Beth Hash, Ice Cube, Ice Tea, Vanilla Ice, M.C. Hammer, Villanos 1 through 42, Lenny Lane, Lodi, Tommy Orion, Billy Sadler, Benjamin Nyetanyahoo, Lolita Davidovich, Carnie Wilson, Indiana Jones, Han Solo, Luke Skywalker, James T. Kirk, Pubic hair spong, Barney the dinosaur, Big Bird, Snuffallunfagus, Will Smith, Tupac, Puff daddy, Pistacios Nuts, Mr. Peanut, Mr. T, Mr. Belding, Tweek and Craig, Zakk Wylde, Zack Morris, A.C. Slater, Kelly Capowski, Lisa Turtle, Screech, Jesse Spano, Carlos Santana, Wendy Bray, James Hettfield, Lars Ulrich, Kirk Hammet, Jason Newsted, Ralph Lauren, Ralph, Ronald Reagan, Jimmy Carter, George Bush, George Thorogood, David Arquette, Mariah Carey's Tits and Ass, The girl from Disc Jockey with perfect Tits and Ass, The all around hot girl from Sunglass Hut, The woman in Leopard Skin selling copper, The dudes that sell hoods, Tommmy Dreamer, all the guys at Nascar HQ, Tree Hugging Hippie Store, Dip N Dots, KISS dude at Spencers, Carie Worley, David at Kay Bee, Mindboggle, Silent Scope, Tyler Winkler, Henry Winkler, The Fonz, Jonie and Chachie, Richie Cunningham, Scott Bayo, Mel Saunders, Dustin Hoffman, Jack Nickelson, Hal Sparks, Mel Gibson, Bruce Willis, Chuck Norris, Tom Arnold, Walker,Texas Ranger, Randy Rhoads, Suzzanne Somers, Tom Selleck, Magnum P.I., Bert Reynolds, The cast of Riptide, Captain Winkie, Ben Folds Five, Steve Bushemi, Quentin Tarantino, Harvey Kytel, Penis pistol from duck til dawn, Mark Callaway, Salma Hayek, Jennifer Lopez, Daisey Fuetes, CATHERINE-ZETA-JONES, JENNY McCARTHY, Dennis Rodman, CARMAN ELECTRA, Denise Richards, Terri Runnels, Tori, Debra, Ivory, Chyna, Rena Mero, The chick with Black hair that was perfect, chick from Ames, Wendy Bray, Grace Slick, Jefferson Airplane, Clarence "the Fire Breathing Negro", Trojan Man, Julius Ceasar, CALIGULA, Stanley Kubrick, Oliver Stone, JFK, Jackie O, Steven Spielberg, Rob Sneider, George Lucas, Jeremy McGrath, Tony Hawk, Nick, Ryan, Roby and Tyler, Jergens Lotion, Hugo Boss, Squave, 12 dollar shampoo, Dave's Brush, David loves Miss Congeniality, David Horowitz...The Jew! He likes to watch us masterbate and he goes: "Splat splooo slooop" all over us, Rico Squave, Mitch Headberg, Lewis Black, THE ROCK, The girl who wouldn't have gone to college if it weren't for her horse, Steve Austin, Hacksaw Jim Duggan, Shane Douglas, Steve Corino, Hewlett Packard, Bill Gates, Jack Victory, ROADKILL, Danny Doring, Electra, DAWN MARIE, Justin Credible, Lance Storm: From Calgary...Alberta, Canada, Vito Lagrassi, Mulletts all over the globe, Little Guido, BIG SAL E. GRAZIANO, Tracy Smothers, Make-out fest 1986, Jerry Lynn, Spike Dudley, Mike Awesome, Masato Tanaka, Masahiro Chono, Yoshihiro Tajiri, The Great Muta, g Fresh, INDIANS from CANNIBAL THE MUSICAL, ALFRED PACKER, Juan Swartz, SCHWAN, Humphries, Trey Parker, Matt Stone, Meatloaf, Barbara Streisand, Dale Earnhardt,George Carlin, Jose Canseco, Cream Boxed Sets, THAT LOVELY, LOVELY POETRY BOOK, and of course, PROVIDENCE!


Poopy McGee
- Saturday, December 25, 1999 at 01:05:22 (PST)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Merry Christmas to:





Richard Donald Underwood III
UNCLE David Setliff! ( The accountant )
Jessyca Hope Blankenship
Melissa, Eve, Foster, Brandi, Travis Ray Cole, Wes, The bartender's Ass, Christina, Terry, Culver,Mick Foley, Scruggs, Meachum, Shott, Stonestreet, WENDY BRAY, Burgess, Christen Carper, Jodi Taylor, Elisha Cuppett, Stephanie Fowler, Amanda Cochran, Charles Bently, John Henson, Chris and Beth Henry, Mr. Godfrey, Mr. Bourne, Mr. Hankey, Kenny, Kyle, Cartman, Stan, Beavis, Butt-head, Bo Duke, Luke Duke, Daisy, Uncle Jessie, Rosco P. Colet,rain, Boss Hogg, The 1988 Oakland A's, Droz, Jesus, Satan, Enus, Christopher Walken, Keith Richards, Eric Clapton, Ginger Baker, Jack Bruce, Jeff Beck, Jimmy Page, Joe F. Perry, DMX, ODB, Ja-Rule, Paul Stanley, Gene Simmons, Peter Criss, ACE FREHLEY, Bruce Kulick, Vinnie Vincent, Eric Carr, Eric Singer, Jessica Comer, Barry Dillon, Bigger Thomas, Jared Barker, Shawn Michaels, Jericho, SABU, RVD, Brandy Bagar, Paige Mustard, BROOKE BOURNE, Matthew Wooten, Lala Wooten, James Richard Wooten, Tammy Underwood, Richard Underwood Jr., T-Bone, Cooter, Effie Epperson, Bob Epperson, the one armed guy who hangs around downtown, Thomas J. Whitmore, Bruce Raven, Wedny Bray,Drake Calloway, Stephanie Ballargin (?), Pete, the guys at Anheiser-Busch, Jack Daniels, Jim Bean, Joel "whether at home or here in Dayton the women are watchin me and maturbatin" Gertner, Cyrus, Joey Styles, Anthony Perdue, Spyder Crowley, Johnny Blast, Ward and June, Brian Logan, Joey Morton, Jared Rottenberry, J.D. Rottenberry, Grandmasta Sexxy, Scotty Too Hotty, Danny Cameron, Heather Lyons, Jamie Hypes, Leah Hypes, Michael Williams, Brandon Williams, Last year's French chick, This years french chick, Kelly Howell, Jessica Stamper, Hannah Stamper, Ryan Stamper, Jeff Burnopp, Caressa Barton, her older sister who was cool, Sarah Kinder, Sarah Stevenson, Stephanie Walk, Steve Matthews, Thomas White, Arron Combs, Ben and Jerry, Daniel Mounts, the guy who "raped" Elisha Cuppett, Shannon Stewart, Mike Haddox, the Puppies, Ulysses, GENERAL LEE, KIT, David Hasslehoff, Jan Micheal Vincent, The guy in teh cartoon who turned into his car, the smurfs, the FRAGGLEs, Wendy Bray, Mario and Luigi, Sonic the Hedgehog, Walt Disney's cremated body, Pricess Di (in hell), JFK Jr., Hitler, Musolini, Castro, My Dad's French chick, Bret Hart, Owen Hart, Mike Meyers, Austin Powers, Wayne Cambell, Andy Kaufman, Tony Clifton, Ladka, Jerry "the King" Lawler, The cast of MTV'S "The State", Beth Littleford, Jon Stewart, Mo Rocca, Vance Degeneres, Steve Cobert, Jimmy Kimel, Ben Stein, Adam Corolla, Bill Clinton, His cock, Monica Lewinsky, Linda Tripp, Stephanie Flowers, Paula Jones, Tonya Harding, Nancy Kerrigan, Jeff Goloulee, Lou E. Dnagerously, Tom Petty, Mandy Moore, Britanny Spears, Christina Agulera, Backstreet Boys, N'SYNC, 98 Degrees, 3 count, Fozzy Osbourne, Ozzy Osbourne, Ozzie Osborune, Rob Zombie, Phil Anselmo, Dimebag Darrel, Vinnie Paul, Rex, Waylon Jennings, Wille Nelson, Johnny Cash, Kris Kristopherson, Yoko Ono, Fred Durst, The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, CREAM, Aerosmith, KISS, 80's KISS, Reunited KISS, Wendy bray,Flotsam and Jetsom, Metallica, Metallica w/out Cliff, AC/DC, Motley Crue, Poison, Unskinny Rose, C.C. Deville, Ford Motor COmpany, Steve Mother-fucking Polychronopolous, Adam Sandler, the Chrysler Corp, Every 1969 Dodge Chager every built (particulalry ones painted orange), Oldmobiles, Geos, Breyers Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream, Nicole Johnson, Nicole Perry, Nicole Thompson, Nicole Artrip, Nicole Sullivan, Nicole Baurer,
Nicole-(ous) Cage, Danny Bonaducci, Leif Garret, Donny Osmond, Marie Osmond, Tommy Hilfigger, Wendy Bray,FUBU, Levi, Lee, Wendy's resturaunt chain, niggers everywhere, all the fags, Jews, spics, chinks, japs, honkies, wetbacks, Nazi's, The Axis Powers, No Doubt, Sean Gurtis, Bush, Silverchair, Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Pearl Necklace, Pearl Drums, Pearl S. Buck, Pearly Bowman, Eric Estrada, Every car every blown up on TV or in a cool movie, Arnold Shwartzenager, That skinny bitch off Dateline he's married to, Jane Pauley, Stone Phillips, Tom Brokaw, Dan Rather, Peter Jennings, My insanlely large cock, Bryant Gumball, Katie Kouric, Willard Scott, Al Roker, Matt Lauer, Ronald McDonald, Grimmace, the Hamburgler, Birdie, Mayor McCheese, Bogey, Pammy, Rick, Scott Steiner, Drizzt Do'Urden, Elminister, the Polterguist, the Exorcist, Linda Blair, the Blair Witch, Heather Donahue, Phil Donahue, Rosie O'donnel, Oprah, Harpo Productions, Wendy Bray,Happy Madison Productions, David Spade, Dana Carvey, The 1984 Indianpolis Colts, Garth Algar, The Church Lady, Ross Perot, Micheal Ducockass,
Saddam Hussaine, Macanudo Cigars, Allsop Mousepads, Value Jet, Pan-Am flight 109 over Lockerby Scotland, George Clinton and Parlamental Funk, All the transvestites of the world, all of the transvestites removed penises, Lesbians, Jim Carrey, Ace Ventura, The Cable Guy, Fake Andy Kaufman, Rubberface, Lloyd Christmas, Fender Guitars, Gibson Guitars, Wendy Bray, Les Paul, Leo Fender, Marshall Amplifiers, Michael Jackson, Iron Maiden, Black Sabbath, Matt Glover, All the members of The Razor Blade Cult, Lloyd Bridges, Beau Bridges, Bea Arthur, Estelle Getty, Tim Allen, Abe Lincoln, The hot version of Sigourney Weaver, Al Snow, Al Gets, Al Yankovic, Allen Thick, Dick Clark, Andy Rooney, Andy Rickter, Conan O'Brien, Roger Anderson, Frank Parker, Tori Amos, Jewel, Alex Trebek, Tori Wilson, Pat Sajak, Banjo Kazzooie, Twisted Metal 4, Doink the Clown, Pamela Anderson Lee, Tommy Lee, Alyssa Milano, Wendy Bray,Beth Hash, Ice Cube, Ice Tea, Vanilla Ice, M.C. Hammer, Villanos 1 through 42, Lenny Lane, Lodi, Tommy Orion, Billy Sadler, Benjamin Nyetanyahoo, Lolita Davidovich, Carnie Wilson, Indiana Jones, Han Solo, Luke Skywalker, James T. Kirk, Pubic hair spong, Barney the dinosaur, Big Bird, Snuffallunfagus, Will Smith, Tupac, Puff daddy, Pistacios Nuts, Mr. Peanut, Mr. T, Mr. Belding, Tweek and Craig, Zakk Wylde, Zack Morris, A.C. Slater, Kelly Capowski, Lisa Turtle, Screech, Jesse Spano, Carlos Santana, Wendy Bray, James Hettfield, Lars Ulrich, Kirk Hammet, Jason Newsted, Ralph Lauren, Ralph, Ronald Reagan, Jimmy Carter, George Bush, George Thorogood, David Arquette, Mariah Carey's Tits and Ass, The girl from Disc Jockey with perfect Tits and Ass, The all around hot girl from Sunglass Hut, The woman in Leopard Skin selling copper, The dudes that sell hoods, Tommmy Dreamer, all the guys at Nascar HQ, Tree Hugging Hippie Store, Dip N Dots, KISS dude at Spencers, Carie Worley, David at Kay Bee, Mindboggle, Silent Scope, Tyler Winkler, Henry Winkler, The Fonz, Jonie and Chachie, Richie Cunningham, Scott Bayo, Mel Saunders, Dustin Hoffman, Jack Nickelson, Hal Sparks, Mel Gibson, Bruce Willis, Chuck Norris, Tom Arnold, Walker,Texas Ranger, Randy Rhoads, Suzzanne Somers, Tom Selleck, Magnum P.I., Bert Reynolds, The cast of Riptide, Captain Winkie, Ben Folds Five, Steve Bushemi, Quentin Tarantino, Harvey Kytel, Penis pistol from duck til dawn, Mark Callaway, Salma Hayek, Jennifer Lopez, Daisey Fuetes, CATHERINE-ZETA-JONES, JENNY McCARTHY, Dennis Rodman, CARMAN ELECTRA, Denise Richards, Terri Runnels, Tori, Debra, Ivory, Chyna, Rena Mero, The chick with Black hair that was perfect, chick from Ames, Wendy Bray, Grace Slick, Jefferson Airplane, Clarence "the Fire Breathing Negro", Trojan Man, Julius Ceasar, CALIGULA, Stanley Kubrick, Oliver Stone, JFK, Jackie O, Steven Spielberg, Rob Sneider, George Lucas, Jeremy McGrath, Tony Hawk, Nick, Ryan, Roby and Tyler, Jergens Lotion, Hugo Boss, Squave, 12 dollar shampoo, Dave's Brush, David loves Miss Congeniality, David Horowitz...The Jew! He likes to watch us masterbate and he goes: "Splat splooo slooop" all over us, Rico Squave, Mitch Headberg, Lewis Black, THE ROCK, The girl who wouldn't have gone to college if it weren't for her horse, Steve Austin, Hacksaw Jim Duggan, Shane Douglas, Steve Corino, Hewlett Packard, Bill Gates, Jack Victory, ROADKILL, Danny Doring, Electra, DAWN MARIE, Justin Credible, Lance Storm: From Calgary...Alberta, Canada, Vito Lagrassi, Mulletts all over the globe, Little Guido, BIG SAL E. GRAZIANO, Tracy Smothers, Make-out fest 1986, Jerry Lynn, Spike Dudley, Mike Awesome, Masato Tanaka, Masahiro Chono, Yoshihiro Tajiri, The Great Muta, g Fresh, INDIANS from CANNIBAL THE MUSICAL, ALFRED PACKER, Juan Swartz, SCHWAN, Humphries, Trey Parker, Matt Stone, Meatloaf, Barbara Streisand, Dale Earnhardt,George Carlin, Jose Canseco, Cream Boxed Sets, THAT LOVELY, LOVELY POETRY BOOK, and of course, PROVIDENCE!

Elisha Cuppett
- Saturday, December 25, 1999 at 01:02:16 (PST)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Merry Christmas to:





Richard Donald Underwood III
UNCLE David Setliff! ( The accountant )
Jessyca Hope Blankenship
Melissa, Eve, Foster, Brandi, Travis Ray Cole, Wes, The bartender's Ass, Christina, Terry, Culver,Mick Foley, Scruggs, Meachum, Shott, Stonestreet, WENDY BRAY, Burgess, Christen Carper, Jodi Taylor, Elisha Cuppett, Stephanie Fowler, Amanda Cochran, Charles Bently, John Henson, Chris and Beth Henry, Mr. Godfrey, Mr. Bourne, Mr. Hankey, Kenny, Kyle, Cartman, Stan, Beavis, Butt-head, Bo Duke, Luke Duke, Daisy, Uncle Jessie, Rosco P. Colet,rain, Boss Hogg, The 1988 Oakland A's, Droz, Jesus, Satan, Enus, Christopher Walken, Keith Richards, Eric Clapton, Ginger Baker, Jack Bruce, Jeff Beck, Jimmy Page, Joe F. Perry, DMX, ODB, Ja-Rule, Paul Stanley, Gene Simmons, Peter Criss, ACE FREHLEY, Bruce Kulick, Vinnie Vincent, Eric Carr, Eric Singer, Jessica Comer, Barry Dillon, Bigger Thomas, Jared Barker, Shawn Michaels, Jericho, SABU, RVD, Brandy Bagar, Paige Mustard, BROOKE BOURNE, Matthew Wooten, Lala Wooten, James Richard Wooten, Tammy Underwood, Richard Underwood Jr., T-Bone, Cooter, Effie Epperson, Bob Epperson, the one armed guy who hangs around downtown, Thomas J. Whitmore, Bruce Raven, Wedny Bray,Drake Calloway, Stephanie Ballargin (?), Pete, the guys at Anheiser-Busch, Jack Daniels, Jim Bean, Joel "whether at home or here in Dayton the women are watchin me and maturbatin" Gertner, Cyrus, Joey Styles, Anthony Perdue, Spyder Crowley, Johnny Blast, Ward and June, Brian Logan, Joey Morton, Jared Rottenberry, J.D. Rottenberry, Grandmasta Sexxy, Scotty Too Hotty, Danny Cameron, Heather Lyons, Jamie Hypes, Leah Hypes, Michael Williams, Brandon Williams, Last year's French chick, This years french chick, Kelly Howell, Jessica Stamper, Hannah Stamper, Ryan Stamper, Jeff Burnopp, Caressa Barton, her older sister who was cool, Sarah Kinder, Sarah Stevenson, Stephanie Walk, Steve Matthews, Thomas White, Arron Combs, Ben and Jerry, Daniel Mounts, the guy who "raped" Elisha Cuppett, Shannon Stewart, Mike Haddox, the Puppies, Ulysses, GENERAL LEE, KIT, David Hasslehoff, Jan Micheal Vincent, The guy in teh cartoon who turned into his car, the smurfs, the FRAGGLEs, Wendy Bray, Mario and Luigi, Sonic the Hedgehog, Walt Disney's cremated body, Pricess Di (in hell), JFK Jr., Hitler, Musolini, Castro, My Dad's French chick, Bret Hart, Owen Hart, Mike Meyers, Austin Powers, Wayne Cambell, Andy Kaufman, Tony Clifton, Ladka, Jerry "the King" Lawler, The cast of MTV'S "The State", Beth Littleford, Jon Stewart, Mo Rocca, Vance Degeneres, Steve Cobert, Jimmy Kimel, Ben Stein, Adam Corolla, Bill Clinton, His cock, Monica Lewinsky, Linda Tripp, Stephanie Flowers, Paula Jones, Tonya Harding, Nancy Kerrigan, Jeff Goloulee, Lou E. Dnagerously, Tom Petty, Mandy Moore, Britanny Spears, Christina Agulera, Backstreet Boys, N'SYNC, 98 Degrees, 3 count, Fozzy Osbourne, Ozzy Osbourne, Ozzie Osborune, Rob Zombie, Phil Anselmo, Dimebag Darrel, Vinnie Paul, Rex, Waylon Jennings, Wille Nelson, Johnny Cash, Kris Kristopherson, Yoko Ono, Fred Durst, The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, CREAM, Aerosmith, KISS, 80's KISS, Reunited KISS, Wendy bray,Flotsam and Jetsom, Metallica, Metallica w/out Cliff, AC/DC, Motley Crue, Poison, Unskinny Rose, C.C. Deville, Ford Motor COmpany, Steve Mother-fucking Polychronopolous, Adam Sandler, the Chrysler Corp, Every 1969 Dodge Chager every built (particulalry ones painted orange), Oldmobiles, Geos, Breyers Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream, Nicole Johnson, Nicole Perry, Nicole Thompson, Nicole Artrip, Nicole Sullivan, Nicole Baurer,
Nicole-(ous) Cage, Danny Bonaducci, Leif Garret, Donny Osmond, Marie Osmond, Tommy Hilfigger, Wendy Bray,FUBU, Levi, Lee, Wendy's resturaunt chain, niggers everywhere, all the fags, Jews, spics, chinks, japs, honkies, wetbacks, Nazi's, The Axis Powers, No Doubt, Sean Gurtis, Bush, Silverchair, Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Pearl Necklace, Pearl Drums, Pearl S. Buck, Pearly Bowman, Eric Estrada, Every car every blown up on TV or in a cool movie, Arnold Shwartzenager, That skinny bitch off Dateline he's married to, Jane Pauley, Stone Phillips, Tom Brokaw, Dan Rather, Peter Jennings, My insanlely large cock, Bryant Gumball, Katie Kouric, Willard Scott, Al Roker, Matt Lauer, Ronald McDonald, Grimmace, the Hamburgler, Birdie, Mayor McCheese, Bogey, Pammy, Rick, Scott Steiner, Drizzt Do'Urden, Elminister, the Polterguist, the Exorcist, Linda Blair, the Blair Witch, Heather Donahue, Phil Donahue, Rosie O'donnel, Oprah, Harpo Productions, Wendy Bray,Happy Madison Productions, David Spade, Dana Carvey, The 1984 Indianpolis Colts, Garth Algar, The Church Lady, Ross Perot, Micheal Ducockass,
Saddam Hussaine, Macanudo Cigars, Allsop Mousepads, Value Jet, Pan-Am flight 109 over Lockerby Scotland, George Clinton and Parlamental Funk, All the transvestites of the world, all of the transvestites removed penises, Lesbians, Jim Carrey, Ace Ventura, The Cable Guy, Fake Andy Kaufman, Rubberface, Lloyd Christmas, Fender Guitars, Gibson Guitars, Wendy Bray, Les Paul, Leo Fender, Marshall Amplifiers, Michael Jackson, Iron Maiden, Black Sabbath, Matt Glover, All the members of The Razor Blade Cult, Lloyd Bridges, Beau Bridges, Bea Arthur, Estelle Getty, Tim Allen, Abe Lincoln, The hot version of Sigourney Weaver, Al Snow, Al Gets, Al Yankovic, Allen Thick, Dick Clark, Andy Rooney, Andy Rickter, Conan O'Brien, Roger Anderson, Frank Parker, Tori Amos, Jewel, Alex Trebek, Tori Wilson, Pat Sajak, Banjo Kazzooie, Twisted Metal 4, Doink the Clown, Pamela Anderson Lee, Tommy Lee, Alyssa Milano, Wendy Bray,Beth Hash, Ice Cube, Ice Tea, Vanilla Ice, M.C. Hammer, Villanos 1 through 42, Lenny Lane, Lodi, Tommy Orion, Billy Sadler, Benjamin Nyetanyahoo, Lolita Davidovich, Carnie Wilson, Indiana Jones, Han Solo, Luke Skywalker, James T. Kirk, Pubic hair spong, Barney the dinosaur, Big Bird, Snuffallunfagus, Will Smith, Tupac, Puff daddy, Pistacios Nuts, Mr. Peanut, Mr. T, Mr. Belding, Tweek and Craig, Zakk Wylde, Zack Morris, A.C. Slater, Kelly Capowski, Lisa Turtle, Screech, Jesse Spano, Carlos Santana, Wendy Bray, James Hettfield, Lars Ulrich, Kirk Hammet, Jason Newsted, Ralph Lauren, Ralph, Ronald Reagan, Jimmy Carter, George Bush, George Thorogood, David Arquette, Mariah Carey's Tits and Ass, The girl from Disc Jockey with perfect Tits and Ass, The all around hot girl from Sunglass Hut, The woman in Leopard Skin selling copper, The dudes that sell hoods, Tommmy Dreamer, all the guys at Nascar HQ, Tree Hugging Hippie Store, Dip N Dots, KISS dude at Spencers, Carie Worley, David at Kay Bee, Mindboggle, Silent Scope, Tyler Winkler, Henry Winkler, The Fonz, Jonie and Chachie, Richie Cunningham, Scott Bayo, Mel Saunders, Dustin Hoffman, Jack Nickelson, Hal Sparks, Mel Gibson, Bruce Willis, Chuck Norris, Tom Arnold, Walker,Texas Ranger, Randy Rhoads, Suzzanne Somers, Tom Selleck, Magnum P.I., Bert Reynolds, The cast of Riptide, Captain Winkie, Ben Folds Five, Steve Bushemi, Quentin Tarantino, Harvey Kytel, Penis pistol from duck til dawn, Mark Callaway, Salma Hayek, Jennifer Lopez, Daisey Fuetes, CATHERINE-ZETA-JONES, JENNY McCARTHY, Dennis Rodman, CARMAN ELECTRA, Denise Richards, Terri Runnels, Tori, Debra, Ivory, Chyna, Rena Mero, The chick with Black hair that was perfect, chick from Ames, Wendy Bray, Grace Slick, Jefferson Airplane, Clarence "the Fire Breathing Negro", Trojan Man, Julius Ceasar, CALIGULA, Stanley Kubrick, Oliver Stone, JFK, Jackie O, Steven Spielberg, Rob Sneider, George Lucas, Jeremy McGrath, Tony Hawk, Nick, Ryan, Roby and Tyler, Jergens Lotion, Hugo Boss, Squave, 12 dollar shampoo, Dave's Brush, David loves Miss Congeniality, David Horowitz...The Jew! He likes to watch us masterbate and he goes: "Splat splooo slooop" all over us, Rico Squave, Mitch Headberg, Lewis Black, THE ROCK, The girl who wouldn't have gone to college if it weren't for her horse, Steve Austin, Hacksaw Jim Duggan, Shane Douglas, Steve Corino, Hewlett Packard, Bill Gates, Jack Victory, ROADKILL, Danny Doring, Electra, DAWN MARIE, Justin Credible, Lance Storm: From Calgary...Alberta, Canada, Vito Lagrassi, Mulletts all over the globe, Little Guido, BIG SAL E. GRAZIANO, Tracy Smothers, Make-out fest 1986, Jerry Lynn, Spike Dudley, Mike Awesome, Masato Tanaka, Masahiro Chono, Yoshihiro Tajiri, The Great Muta, g Fresh, INDIANS from CANNIBAL THE MUSICAL, ALFRED PACKER, Juan Swartz, SCHWAN, Humphries, Trey Parker, Matt Stone, Meatloaf, Barbara Streisand, Dale Earnhardt,George Carlin, Jose Canseco, Cream Boxed Sets, THAT LOVELY, LOVELY POETRY BOOK, and of course, PROVIDENCE!

Tracy Lords
- Saturday, December 25, 1999 at 01:01:31 (PST)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Merry Christmas to:





Richard Donald Underwood III
UNCLE David Setliff! ( The accountant )
Jessyca Hope Blankenship
Melissa, Eve, Foster, Brandi, Travis Ray Cole, Wes, The bartender's Ass, Christina, Terry, Culver,Mick Foley, Scruggs, Meachum, Shott, Stonestreet, WENDY BRAY, Burgess, Christen Carper, Jodi Taylor, Elisha Cuppett, Stephanie Fowler, Amanda Cochran, Charles Bently, John Henson, Chris and Beth Henry, Mr. Godfrey, Mr. Bourne, Mr. Hankey, Kenny, Kyle, Cartman, Stan, Beavis, Butt-head, Bo Duke, Luke Duke, Daisy, Uncle Jessie, Rosco P. Colet,rain, Boss Hogg, The 1988 Oakland A's, Droz, Jesus, Satan, Enus, Christopher Walken, Keith Richards, Eric Clapton, Ginger Baker, Jack Bruce, Jeff Beck, Jimmy Page, Joe F. Perry, DMX, ODB, Ja-Rule, Paul Stanley, Gene Simmons, Peter Criss, ACE FREHLEY, Bruce Kulick, Vinnie Vincent, Eric Carr, Eric Singer, Jessica Comer, Barry Dillon, Bigger Thomas, Jared Barker, Shawn Michaels, Jericho, SABU, RVD, Brandy Bagar, Paige Mustard, BROOKE BOURNE, Matthew Wooten, Lala Wooten, James Richard Wooten, Tammy Underwood, Richard Underwood Jr., T-Bone, Cooter, Effie Epperson, Bob Epperson, the one armed guy who hangs around downtown, Thomas J. Whitmore, Bruce Raven, Wedny Bray,Drake Calloway, Stephanie Ballargin (?), Pete, the guys at Anheiser-Busch, Jack Daniels, Jim Bean, Joel "whether at home or here in Dayton the women are watchin me and maturbatin" Gertner, Cyrus, Joey Styles, Anthony Perdue, Spyder Crowley, Johnny Blast, Ward and June, Brian Logan, Joey Morton, Jared Rottenberry, J.D. Rottenberry, Grandmasta Sexxy, Scotty Too Hotty, Danny Cameron, Heather Lyons, Jamie Hypes, Leah Hypes, Michael Williams, Brandon Williams, Last year's French chick, This years french chick, Kelly Howell, Jessica Stamper, Hannah Stamper, Ryan Stamper, Jeff Burnopp, Caressa Barton, her older sister who was cool, Sarah Kinder, Sarah Stevenson, Stephanie Walk, Steve Matthews, Thomas White, Arron Combs, Ben and Jerry, Daniel Mounts, the guy who "raped" Elisha Cuppett, Shannon Stewart, Mike Haddox, the Puppies, Ulysses, GENERAL LEE, KIT, David Hasslehoff, Jan Micheal Vincent, The guy in teh cartoon who turned into his car, the smurfs, the FRAGGLEs, Wendy Bray, Mario and Luigi, Sonic the Hedgehog, Walt Disney's cremated body, Pricess Di (in hell), JFK Jr., Hitler, Musolini, Castro, My Dad's French chick, Bret Hart, Owen Hart, Mike Meyers, Austin Powers, Wayne Cambell, Andy Kaufman, Tony Clifton, Ladka, Jerry "the King" Lawler, The cast of MTV'S "The State", Beth Littleford, Jon Stewart, Mo Rocca, Vance Degeneres, Steve Cobert, Jimmy Kimel, Ben Stein, Adam Corolla, Bill Clinton, His cock, Monica Lewinsky, Linda Tripp, Stephanie Flowers, Paula Jones, Tonya Harding, Nancy Kerrigan, Jeff Goloulee, Lou E. Dnagerously, Tom Petty, Mandy Moore, Britanny Spears, Christina Agulera, Backstreet Boys, N'SYNC, 98 Degrees, 3 count, Fozzy Osbourne, Ozzy Osbourne, Ozzie Osborune, Rob Zombie, Phil Anselmo, Dimebag Darrel, Vinnie Paul, Rex, Waylon Jennings, Wille Nelson, Johnny Cash, Kris Kristopherson, Yoko Ono, Fred Durst, The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, CREAM, Aerosmith, KISS, 80's KISS, Reunited KISS, Wendy bray,Flotsam and Jetsom, Metallica, Metallica w/out Cliff, AC/DC, Motley Crue, Poison, Unskinny Rose, C.C. Deville, Ford Motor COmpany, Steve Mother-fucking Polychronopolous, Adam Sandler, the Chrysler Corp, Every 1969 Dodge Chager every built (particulalry ones painted orange), Oldmobiles, Geos, Breyers Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream, Nicole Johnson, Nicole Perry, Nicole Thompson, Nicole Artrip, Nicole Sullivan, Nicole Baurer,
Nicole-(ous) Cage, Danny Bonaducci, Leif Garret, Donny Osmond, Marie Osmond, Tommy Hilfigger, Wendy Bray,FUBU, Levi, Lee, Wendy's resturaunt chain, niggers everywhere, all the fags, Jews, spics, chinks, japs, honkies, wetbacks, Nazi's, The Axis Powers, No Doubt, Sean Gurtis, Bush, Silverchair, Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Pearl Necklace, Pearl Drums, Pearl S. Buck, Pearly Bowman, Eric Estrada, Every car every blown up on TV or in a cool movie, Arnold Shwartzenager, That skinny bitch off Dateline he's married to, Jane Pauley, Stone Phillips, Tom Brokaw, Dan Rather, Peter Jennings, My insanlely large cock, Bryant Gumball, Katie Kouric, Willard Scott, Al Roker, Matt Lauer, Ronald McDonald, Grimmace, the Hamburgler, Birdie, Mayor McCheese, Bogey, Pammy, Rick, Scott Steiner, Drizzt Do'Urden, Elminister, the Polterguist, the Exorcist, Linda Blair, the Blair Witch, Heather Donahue, Phil Donahue, Rosie O'donnel, Oprah, Harpo Productions, Wendy Bray,Happy Madison Productions, David Spade, Dana Carvey, The 1984 Indianpolis Colts, Garth Algar, The Church Lady, Ross Perot, Micheal Ducockass,
Saddam Hussaine, Macanudo Cigars, Allsop Mousepads, Value Jet, Pan-Am flight 109 over Lockerby Scotland, George Clinton and Parlamental Funk, All the transvestites of the world, all of the transvestites removed penises, Lesbians, Jim Carrey, Ace Ventura, The Cable Guy, Fake Andy Kaufman, Rubberface, Lloyd Christmas, Fender Guitars, Gibson Guitars, Wendy Bray, Les Paul, Leo Fender, Marshall Amplifiers, Michael Jackson, Iron Maiden, Black Sabbath, Matt Glover, All the members of The Razor Blade Cult, Lloyd Bridges, Beau Bridges, Bea Arthur, Estelle Getty, Tim Allen, Abe Lincoln, The hot version of Sigourney Weaver, Al Snow, Al Gets, Al Yankovic, Allen Thick, Dick Clark, Andy Rooney, Andy Rickter, Conan O'Brien, Roger Anderson, Frank Parker, Tori Amos, Jewel, Alex Trebek, Tori Wilson, Pat Sajak, Banjo Kazzooie, Twisted Metal 4, Doink the Clown, Pamela Anderson Lee, Tommy Lee, Alyssa Milano, Wendy Bray,Beth Hash, Ice Cube, Ice Tea, Vanilla Ice, M.C. Hammer, Villanos 1 through 42, Lenny Lane, Lodi, Tommy Orion, Billy Sadler, Benjamin Nyetanyahoo, Lolita Davidovich, Carnie Wilson, Indiana Jones, Han Solo, Luke Skywalker, James T. Kirk, Pubic hair spong, Barney the dinosaur, Big Bird, Snuffallunfagus, Will Smith, Tupac, Puff daddy, Pistacios Nuts, Mr. Peanut, Mr. T, Mr. Belding, Tweek and Craig, Zakk Wylde, Zack Morris, A.C. Slater, Kelly Capowski, Lisa Turtle, Screech, Jesse Spano, Carlos Santana, Wendy Bray, James Hettfield, Lars Ulrich, Kirk Hammet, Jason Newsted, Ralph Lauren, Ralph, Ronald Reagan, Jimmy Carter, George Bush, George Thorogood, David Arquette, Mariah Carey's Tits and Ass, The girl from Disc Jockey with perfect Tits and Ass, The all around hot girl from Sunglass Hut, The woman in Leopard Skin selling copper, The dudes that sell hoods, Tommmy Dreamer, all the guys at Nascar HQ, Tree Hugging Hippie Store, Dip N Dots, KISS dude at Spencers, Carie Worley, David at Kay Bee, Mindboggle, Silent Scope, Tyler Winkler, Henry Winkler, The Fonz, Jonie and Chachie, Richie Cunningham, Scott Bayo, Mel Saunders, Dustin Hoffman, Jack Nickelson, Hal Sparks, Mel Gibson, Bruce Willis, Chuck Norris, Tom Arnold, Walker,Texas Ranger, Randy Rhoads, Suzzanne Somers, Tom Selleck, Magnum P.I., Bert Reynolds, The cast of Riptide, Captain Winkie, Ben Folds Five, Steve Bushemi, Quentin Tarantino, Harvey Kytel, Penis pistol from duck til dawn, Mark Callaway, Salma Hayek, Jennifer Lopez, Daisey Fuetes, CATHERINE-ZETA-JONES, JENNY McCARTHY, Dennis Rodman, CARMAN ELECTRA, Denise Richards, Terri Runnels, Tori, Debra, Ivory, Chyna, Rena Mero, The chick with Black hair that was perfect, chick from Ames, Wendy Bray, Grace Slick, Jefferson Airplane, Clarence "the Fire Breathing Negro", Trojan Man, Julius Ceasar, CALIGULA, Stanley Kubrick, Oliver Stone, JFK, Jackie O, Steven Spielberg, Rob Sneider, George Lucas, Jeremy McGrath, Tony Hawk, Nick, Ryan, Roby and Tyler, Jergens Lotion, Hugo Boss, Squave, 12 dollar shampoo, Dave's Brush, David loves Miss Congeniality, David Horowitz...The Jew! He likes to watch us masterbate and he goes: "Splat splooo slooop" all over us, Rico Squave, Mitch Headberg, Lewis Black, THE ROCK, The girl who wouldn't have gone to college if it weren't for her horse, Steve Austin, Hacksaw Jim Duggan, Shane Douglas, Steve Corino, Hewlett Packard, Bill Gates, Jack Victory, ROADKILL, Danny Doring, Electra, DAWN MARIE, Justin Credible, Lance Storm: From Calgary...Alberta, Canada, Vito Lagrassi, Mulletts all over the globe, Little Guido, BIG SAL E. GRAZIANO, Tracy Smothers, Make-out fest 1986, Jerry Lynn, Spike Dudley, Mike Awesome, Masato Tanaka, Masahiro Chono, Yoshihiro Tajiri, The Great Muta, g Fresh, INDIANS from CANNIBAL THE MUSICAL, ALFRED PACKER, Juan Swartz, SCHWAN, Humphries, Trey Parker, Matt Stone, Meatloaf, Barbara Streisand, Dale Earnhardt,George Carlin, Jose Canseco, Cream Boxed Sets, THAT LOVELY, LOVELY POETRY BOOK, and of course, PROVIDENCE!

David Lee Roth
- Saturday, December 25, 1999 at 01:00:11 (PST)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Merry Christmas to:





Richard Donald Underwood III
UNCLE David Setliff! ( The accountant )
Jessyca Hope Blankenship
Melissa, Eve, Foster, Brandi, Travis Ray Cole, Wes, The bartender's Ass, Christina, Terry, Culver,Mick Foley, Scruggs, Meachum, Shott, Stonestreet, WENDY BRAY, Burgess, Christen Carper, Jodi Taylor, Elisha Cuppett, Stephanie Fowler, Amanda Cochran, Charles Bently, John Henson, Chris and Beth Henry, Mr. Godfrey, Mr. Bourne, Mr. Hankey, Kenny, Kyle, Cartman, Stan, Beavis, Butt-head, Bo Duke, Luke Duke, Daisy, Uncle Jessie, Rosco P. Colet,rain, Boss Hogg, The 1988 Oakland A's, Droz, Jesus, Satan, Enus, Christopher Walken, Keith Richards, Eric Clapton, Ginger Baker, Jack Bruce, Jeff Beck, Jimmy Page, Joe F. Perry, DMX, ODB, Ja-Rule, Paul Stanley, Gene Simmons, Peter Criss, ACE FREHLEY, Bruce Kulick, Vinnie Vincent, Eric Carr, Eric Singer, Jessica Comer, Barry Dillon, Bigger Thomas, Jared Barker, Shawn Michaels, Jericho, SABU, RVD, Brandy Bagar, Paige Mustard, BROOKE BOURNE, Matthew Wooten, Lala Wooten, James Richard Wooten, Tammy Underwood, Richard Underwood Jr., T-Bone, Cooter, Effie Epperson, Bob Epperson, the one armed guy who hangs around downtown, Thomas J. Whitmore, Bruce Raven, Wedny Bray,Drake Calloway, Stephanie Ballargin (?), Pete, the guys at Anheiser-Busch, Jack Daniels, Jim Bean, Joel "whether at home or here in Dayton the women are watchin me and maturbatin" Gertner, Cyrus, Joey Styles, Anthony Perdue, Spyder Crowley, Johnny Blast, Ward and June, Brian Logan, Joey Morton, Jared Rottenberry, J.D. Rottenberry, Grandmasta Sexxy, Scotty Too Hotty, Danny Cameron, Heather Lyons, Jamie Hypes, Leah Hypes, Michael Williams, Brandon Williams, Last year's French chick, This years french chick, Kelly Howell, Jessica Stamper, Hannah Stamper, Ryan Stamper, Jeff Burnopp, Caressa Barton, her older sister who was cool, Sarah Kinder, Sarah Stevenson, Stephanie Walk, Steve Matthews, Thomas White, Arron Combs, Ben and Jerry, Daniel Mounts, the guy who "raped" Elisha Cuppett, Shannon Stewart, Mike Haddox, the Puppies, Ulysses, GENERAL LEE, KIT, David Hasslehoff, Jan Micheal Vincent, The guy in teh cartoon who turned into his car, the smurfs, the FRAGGLEs, Wendy Bray, Mario and Luigi, Sonic the Hedgehog, Walt Disney's cremated body, Pricess Di (in hell), JFK Jr., Hitler, Musolini, Castro, My Dad's French chick, Bret Hart, Owen Hart, Mike Meyers, Austin Powers, Wayne Cambell, Andy Kaufman, Tony Clifton, Ladka, Jerry "the King" Lawler, The cast of MTV'S "The State", Beth Littleford, Jon Stewart, Mo Rocca, Vance Degeneres, Steve Cobert, Jimmy Kimel, Ben Stein, Adam Corolla, Bill Clinton, His cock, Monica Lewinsky, Linda Tripp, Stephanie Flowers, Paula Jones, Tonya Harding, Nancy Kerrigan, Jeff Goloulee, Lou E. Dnagerously, Tom Petty, Mandy Moore, Britanny Spears, Christina Agulera, Backstreet Boys, N'SYNC, 98 Degrees, 3 count, Fozzy Osbourne, Ozzy Osbourne, Ozzie Osborune, Rob Zombie, Phil Anselmo, Dimebag Darrel, Vinnie Paul, Rex, Waylon Jennings, Wille Nelson, Johnny Cash, Kris Kristopherson, Yoko Ono, Fred Durst, The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, CREAM, Aerosmith, KISS, 80's KISS, Reunited KISS, Wendy bray,Flotsam and Jetsom, Metallica, Metallica w/out Cliff, AC/DC, Motley Crue, Poison, Unskinny Rose, C.C. Deville, Ford Motor COmpany, Steve Mother-fucking Polychronopolous, Adam Sandler, the Chrysler Corp, Every 1969 Dodge Chager every built (particulalry ones painted orange), Oldmobiles, Geos, Breyers Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream, Nicole Johnson, Nicole Perry, Nicole Thompson, Nicole Artrip, Nicole Sullivan, Nicole Baurer,
Nicole-(ous) Cage, Danny Bonaducci, Leif Garret, Donny Osmond, Marie Osmond, Tommy Hilfigger, Wendy Bray,FUBU, Levi, Lee, Wendy's resturaunt chain, niggers everywhere, all the fags, Jews, spics, chinks, japs, honkies, wetbacks, Nazi's, The Axis Powers, No Doubt, Sean Gurtis, Bush, Silverchair, Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Pearl Necklace, Pearl Drums, Pearl S. Buck, Pearly Bowman, Eric Estrada, Every car every blown up on TV or in a cool movie, Arnold Shwartzenager, That skinny bitch off Dateline he's married to, Jane Pauley, Stone Phillips, Tom Brokaw, Dan Rather, Peter Jennings, My insanlely large cock, Bryant Gumball, Katie Kouric, Willard Scott, Al Roker, Matt Lauer, Ronald McDonald, Grimmace, the Hamburgler, Birdie, Mayor McCheese, Bogey, Pammy, Rick, Scott Steiner, Drizzt Do'Urden, Elminister, the Polterguist, the Exorcist, Linda Blair, the Blair Witch, Heather Donahue, Phil Donahue, Rosie O'donnel, Oprah, Harpo Productions, Wendy Bray,Happy Madison Productions, David Spade, Dana Carvey, The 1984 Indianpolis Colts, Garth Algar, The Church Lady, Ross Perot, Micheal Ducockass,
Saddam Hussaine, Macanudo Cigars, Allsop Mousepads, Value Jet, Pan-Am flight 109 over Lockerby Scotland, George Clinton and Parlamental Funk, All the transvestites of the world, all of the transvestites removed penises, Lesbians, Jim Carrey, Ace Ventura, The Cable Guy, Fake Andy Kaufman, Rubberface, Lloyd Christmas, Fender Guitars, Gibson Guitars, Wendy Bray, Les Paul, Leo Fender, Marshall Amplifiers, Michael Jackson, Iron Maiden, Black Sabbath, Matt Glover, All the members of The Razor Blade Cult, Lloyd Bridges, Beau Bridges, Bea Arthur, Estelle Getty, Tim Allen, Abe Lincoln, The hot version of Sigourney Weaver, Al Snow, Al Gets, Al Yankovic, Allen Thick, Dick Clark, Andy Rooney, Andy Rickter, Conan O'Brien, Roger Anderson, Frank Parker, Tori Amos, Jewel, Alex Trebek, Tori Wilson, Pat Sajak, Banjo Kazzooie, Twisted Metal 4, Doink the Clown, Pamela Anderson Lee, Tommy Lee, Alyssa Milano, Wendy Bray,Beth Hash, Ice Cube, Ice Tea, Vanilla Ice, M.C. Hammer, Villanos 1 through 42, Lenny Lane, Lodi, Tommy Orion, Billy Sadler, Benjamin Nyetanyahoo, Lolita Davidovich, Carnie Wilson, Indiana Jones, Han Solo, Luke Skywalker, James T. Kirk, Pubic hair spong, Barney the dinosaur, Big Bird, Snuffallunfagus, Will Smith, Tupac, Puff daddy, Pistacios Nuts, Mr. Peanut, Mr. T, Mr. Belding, Tweek and Craig, Zakk Wylde, Zack Morris, A.C. Slater, Kelly Capowski, Lisa Turtle, Screech, Jesse Spano, Carlos Santana, Wendy Bray, James Hettfield, Lars Ulrich, Kirk Hammet, Jason Newsted, Ralph Lauren, Ralph, Ronald Reagan, Jimmy Carter, George Bush, George Thorogood, David Arquette, Mariah Carey's Tits and Ass, The girl from Disc Jockey with perfect Tits and Ass, The all around hot girl from Sunglass Hut, The woman in Leopard Skin selling copper, The dudes that sell hoods, Tommmy Dreamer, all the guys at Nascar HQ, Tree Hugging Hippie Store, Dip N Dots, KISS dude at Spencers, Carie Worley, David at Kay Bee, Mindboggle, Silent Scope, Tyler Winkler, Henry Winkler, The Fonz, Jonie and Chachie, Richie Cunningham, Scott Bayo, Mel Saunders, Dustin Hoffman, Jack Nickelson, Hal Sparks, Mel Gibson, Bruce Willis, Chuck Norris, Tom Arnold, Walker,Texas Ranger, Randy Rhoads, Suzzanne Somers, Tom Selleck, Magnum P.I., Bert Reynolds, The cast of Riptide, Captain Winkie, Ben Folds Five, Steve Bushemi, Quentin Tarantino, Harvey Kytel, Penis pistol from duck til dawn, Mark Callaway, Salma Hayek, Jennifer Lopez, Daisey Fuetes, CATHERINE-ZETA-JONES, JENNY McCARTHY, Dennis Rodman, CARMAN ELECTRA, Denise Richards, Terri Runnels, Tori, Debra, Ivory, Chyna, Rena Mero, The chick with Black hair that was perfect, chick from Ames, Wendy Bray, Grace Slick, Jefferson Airplane, Clarence "the Fire Breathing Negro", Trojan Man, Julius Ceasar, CALIGULA, Stanley Kubrick, Oliver Stone, JFK, Jackie O, Steven Spielberg, Rob Sneider, George Lucas, Jeremy McGrath, Tony Hawk, Nick, Ryan, Roby and Tyler, Jergens Lotion, Hugo Boss, Squave, 12 dollar shampoo, Dave's Brush, David loves Miss Congeniality, David Horowitz...The Jew! He likes to watch us masterbate and he goes: "Splat splooo slooop" all over us, Rico Squave, Mitch Headberg, Lewis Black, THE ROCK, The girl who wouldn't have gone to college if it weren't for her horse, Steve Austin, Hacksaw Jim Duggan, Shane Douglas, Steve Corino, Hewlett Packard, Bill Gates, Jack Victory, ROADKILL, Danny Doring, Electra, DAWN MARIE, Justin Credible, Lance Storm: From Calgary...Alberta, Canada, Vito Lagrassi, Mulletts all over the globe, Little Guido, BIG SAL E. GRAZIANO, Tracy Smothers, Make-out fest 1986, Jerry Lynn, Spike Dudley, Mike Awesome, Masato Tanaka, Masahiro Chono, Yoshihiro Tajiri, The Great Muta, g Fresh, INDIANS from CANNIBAL THE MUSICAL, ALFRED PACKER, Juan Swartz, SCHWAN, Humphries, Trey Parker, Matt Stone, Meatloaf, Barbara Streisand, Dale Earnhardt,George Carlin, Jose Canseco, Cream Boxed Sets, THAT LOVELY, LOVELY POETRY BOOK, and of course, PROVIDENCE!

Wootie
- Saturday, December 25, 1999 at 00:59:35 (PST)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Merry Christmas to:





Richard Donald Underwood III
UNCLE David Setliff! ( The accountant )
Jessyca Hope Blankenship
Melissa, Eve, Foster, Brandi, Travis Ray Cole, Wes, The bartender's Ass, Christina, Terry, Culver,Mick Foley, Scruggs, Meachum, Shott, Stonestreet, WENDY BRAY, Burgess, Christen Carper, Jodi Taylor, Elisha Cuppett, Stephanie Fowler, Amanda Cochran, Charles Bently, John Henson, Chris and Beth Henry, Mr. Godfrey, Mr. Bourne, Mr. Hankey, Kenny, Kyle, Cartman, Stan, Beavis, Butt-head, Bo Duke, Luke Duke, Daisy, Uncle Jessie, Rosco P. Colet,rain, Boss Hogg, The 1988 Oakland A's, Droz, Jesus, Satan, Enus, Christopher Walken, Keith Richards, Eric Clapton, Ginger Baker, Jack Bruce, Jeff Beck, Jimmy Page, Joe F. Perry, DMX, ODB, Ja-Rule, Paul Stanley, Gene Simmons, Peter Criss, ACE FREHLEY, Bruce Kulick, Vinnie Vincent, Eric Carr, Eric Singer, Jessica Comer, Barry Dillon, Bigger Thomas, Jared Barker, Shawn Michaels, Jericho, SABU, RVD, Brandy Bagar, Paige Mustard, BROOKE BOURNE, Matthew Wooten, Lala Wooten, James Richard Wooten, Tammy Underwood, Richard Underwood Jr., T-Bone, Cooter, Effie Epperson, Bob Epperson, the one armed guy who hangs around downtown, Thomas J. Whitmore, Bruce Raven, Wedny Bray,Drake Calloway, Stephanie Ballargin (?), Pete, the guys at Anheiser-Busch, Jack Daniels, Jim Bean, Joel "whether at home or here in Dayton the women are watchin me and maturbatin" Gertner, Cyrus, Joey Styles, Anthony Perdue, Spyder Crowley, Johnny Blast, Ward and June, Brian Logan, Joey Morton, Jared Rottenberry, J.D. Rottenberry, Grandmasta Sexxy, Scotty Too Hotty, Danny Cameron, Heather Lyons, Jamie Hypes, Leah Hypes, Michael Williams, Brandon Williams, Last year's French chick, This years french chick, Kelly Howell, Jessica Stamper, Hannah Stamper, Ryan Stamper, Jeff Burnopp, Caressa Barton, her older sister who was cool, Sarah Kinder, Sarah Stevenson, Stephanie Walk, Steve Matthews, Thomas White, Arron Combs, Ben and Jerry, Daniel Mounts, the guy who "raped" Elisha Cuppett, Shannon Stewart, Mike Haddox, the Puppies, Ulysses, GENERAL LEE, KIT, David Hasslehoff, Jan Micheal Vincent, The guy in teh cartoon who turned into his car, the smurfs, the FRAGGLEs, Wendy Bray, Mario and Luigi, Sonic the Hedgehog, Walt Disney's cremated body, Pricess Di (in hell), JFK Jr., Hitler, Musolini, Castro, My Dad's French chick, Bret Hart, Owen Hart, Mike Meyers, Austin Powers, Wayne Cambell, Andy Kaufman, Tony Clifton, Ladka, Jerry "the King" Lawler, The cast of MTV'S "The State", Beth Littleford, Jon Stewart, Mo Rocca, Vance Degeneres, Steve Cobert, Jimmy Kimel, Ben Stein, Adam Corolla, Bill Clinton, His cock, Monica Lewinsky, Linda Tripp, Stephanie Flowers, Paula Jones, Tonya Harding, Nancy Kerrigan, Jeff Goloulee, Lou E. Dnagerously, Tom Petty, Mandy Moore, Britanny Spears, Christina Agulera, Backstreet Boys, N'SYNC, 98 Degrees, 3 count, Fozzy Osbourne, Ozzy Osbourne, Ozzie Osborune, Rob Zombie, Phil Anselmo, Dimebag Darrel, Vinnie Paul, Rex, Waylon Jennings, Wille Nelson, Johnny Cash, Kris Kristopherson, Yoko Ono, Fred Durst, The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, CREAM, Aerosmith, KISS, 80's KISS, Reunited KISS, Wendy bray,Flotsam and Jetsom, Metallica, Metallica w/out Cliff, AC/DC, Motley Crue, Poison, Unskinny Rose, C.C. Deville, Ford Motor COmpany, Steve Mother-fucking Polychronopolous, Adam Sandler, the Chrysler Corp, Every 1969 Dodge Chager every built (particulalry ones painted orange), Oldmobiles, Geos, Breyers Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream, Nicole Johnson, Nicole Perry, Nicole Thompson, Nicole Artrip, Nicole Sullivan, Nicole Baurer,
Nicole-(ous) Cage, Danny Bonaducci, Leif Garret, Donny Osmond, Marie Osmond, Tommy Hilfigger, Wendy Bray,FUBU, Levi, Lee, Wendy's resturaunt chain, niggers everywhere, all the fags, Jews, spics, chinks, japs, honkies, wetbacks, Nazi's, The Axis Powers, No Doubt, Sean Gurtis, Bush, Silverchair, Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Pearl Necklace, Pearl Drums, Pearl S. Buck, Pearly Bowman, Eric Estrada, Every car every blown up on TV or in a cool movie, Arnold Shwartzenager, That skinny bitch off Dateline he's married to, Jane Pauley, Stone Phillips, Tom Brokaw, Dan Rather, Peter Jennings, My insanlely large cock, Bryant Gumball, Katie Kouric, Willard Scott, Al Roker, Matt Lauer, Ronald McDonald, Grimmace, the Hamburgler, Birdie, Mayor McCheese, Bogey, Pammy, Rick, Scott Steiner, Drizzt Do'Urden, Elminister, the Polterguist, the Exorcist, Linda Blair, the Blair Witch, Heather Donahue, Phil Donahue, Rosie O'donnel, Oprah, Harpo Productions, Wendy Bray,Happy Madison Productions, David Spade, Dana Carvey, The 1984 Indianpolis Colts, Garth Algar, The Church Lady, Ross Perot, Micheal Ducockass,
Saddam Hussaine, Macanudo Cigars, Allsop Mousepads, Value Jet, Pan-Am flight 109 over Lockerby Scotland, George Clinton and Parlamental Funk, All the transvestites of the world, all of the transvestites removed penises, Lesbians, Jim Carrey, Ace Ventura, The Cable Guy, Fake Andy Kaufman, Rubberface, Lloyd Christmas, Fender Guitars, Gibson Guitars, Wendy Bray, Les Paul, Leo Fender, Marshall Amplifiers, Michael Jackson, Iron Maiden, Black Sabbath, Matt Glover, All the members of The Razor Blade Cult, Lloyd Bridges, Beau Bridges, Bea Arthur, Estelle Getty, Tim Allen, Abe Lincoln, The hot version of Sigourney Weaver, Al Snow, Al Gets, Al Yankovic, Allen Thick, Dick Clark, Andy Rooney, Andy Rickter, Conan O'Brien, Roger Anderson, Frank Parker, Tori Amos, Jewel, Alex Trebek, Tori Wilson, Pat Sajak, Banjo Kazzooie, Twisted Metal 4, Doink the Clown, Pamela Anderson Lee, Tommy Lee, Alyssa Milano, Wendy Bray,Beth Hash, Ice Cube, Ice Tea, Vanilla Ice, M.C. Hammer, Villanos 1 through 42, Lenny Lane, Lodi, Tommy Orion, Billy Sadler, Benjamin Nyetanyahoo, Lolita Davidovich, Carnie Wilson, Indiana Jones, Han Solo, Luke Skywalker, James T. Kirk, Pubic hair spong, Barney the dinosaur, Big Bird, Snuffallunfagus, Will Smith, Tupac, Puff daddy, Pistacios Nuts, Mr. Peanut, Mr. T, Mr. Belding, Tweek and Craig, Zakk Wylde, Zack Morris, A.C. Slater, Kelly Capowski, Lisa Turtle, Screech, Jesse Spano, Carlos Santana, Wendy Bray, James Hettfield, Lars Ulrich, Kirk Hammet, Jason Newsted, Ralph Lauren, Ralph, Ronald Reagan, Jimmy Carter, George Bush, George Thorogood, David Arquette, Mariah Carey's Tits and Ass, The girl from Disc Jockey with perfect Tits and Ass, The all around hot girl from Sunglass Hut, The woman in Leopard Skin selling copper, The dudes that sell hoods, Tommmy Dreamer, all the guys at Nascar HQ, Tree Hugging Hippie Store, Dip N Dots, KISS dude at Spencers, Carie Worley, David at Kay Bee, Mindboggle, Silent Scope, Tyler Winkler, Henry Winkler, The Fonz, Jonie and Chachie, Richie Cunningham, Scott Bayo, Mel Saunders, Dustin Hoffman, Jack Nickelson, Hal Sparks, Mel Gibson, Bruce Willis, Chuck Norris, Tom Arnold, Walker,Texas Ranger, Randy Rhoads, Suzzanne Somers, Tom Selleck, Magnum P.I., Bert Reynolds, The cast of Riptide, Captain Winkie, Ben Folds Five, Steve Bushemi, Quentin Tarantino, Harvey Kytel, Penis pistol from duck til dawn, Mark Callaway, Salma Hayek, Jennifer Lopez, Daisey Fuetes, CATHERINE-ZETA-JONES, JENNY McCARTHY, Dennis Rodman, CARMAN ELECTRA, Denise Richards, Terri Runnels, Tori, Debra, Ivory, Chyna, Rena Mero, The chick with Black hair that was perfect, chick from Ames, Wendy Bray, Grace Slick, Jefferson Airplane, Clarence "the Fire Breathing Negro", Trojan Man, Julius Ceasar, CALIGULA, Stanley Kubrick, Oliver Stone, JFK, Jackie O, Steven Spielberg, Rob Sneider, George Lucas, Jeremy McGrath, Tony Hawk, Nick, Ryan, Roby and Tyler, Jergens Lotion, Hugo Boss, Squave, 12 dollar shampoo, Dave's Brush, David loves Miss Congeniality, David Horowitz...The Jew! He likes to watch us masterbate and he goes: "Splat splooo slooop" all over us, Rico Squave, Mitch Headberg, Lewis Black, THE ROCK, The girl who wouldn't have gone to college if it weren't for her horse, Steve Austin, Hacksaw Jim Duggan, Shane Douglas, Steve Corino, Hewlett Packard, Bill Gates, Jack Victory, ROADKILL, Danny Doring, Electra, DAWN MARIE, Justin Credible, Lance Storm: From Calgary...Alberta, Canada, Vito Lagrassi, Mulletts all over the globe, Little Guido, BIG SAL E. GRAZIANO, Tracy Smothers, Make-out fest 1986, Jerry Lynn, Spike Dudley, Mike Awesome, Masato Tanaka, Masahiro Chono, Yoshihiro Tajiri, The Great Muta, g Fresh, INDIANS from CANNIBAL THE MUSICAL, ALFRED PACKER, Juan Swartz, SCHWAN, Humphries, Trey Parker, Matt Stone, Meatloaf, Barbara Streisand, Dale Earnhardt,George Carlin, Jose Canseco, Cream Boxed Sets, THAT LOVELY, LOVELY POETRY BOOK, and of course, PROVIDENCE!


RDU 3
- Saturday, December 25, 1999 at 01:12:09 (PST)


Merry Christmas to:





Richard Donald Underwood III
UNCLE David Setliff! ( The accountant )
Jessyca Hope Blankenship
Melissa, Eve, Foster, Brandi, Travis Ray Cole, Wes, The bartender's Ass, Christina, Terry, Culver,Mick Foley, Scruggs, Meachum, Shott, Stonestreet, WENDY BRAY, Burgess, Christen Carper, Jodi Taylor, Elisha Cuppett, Stephanie Fowler, Amanda Cochran, Charles Bently, John Henson, Chris and Beth Henry, Mr. Godfrey, Mr. Bourne, Mr. Hankey, Kenny, Kyle, Cartman, Stan, Beavis, Butt-head, Bo Duke, Luke Duke, Daisy, Uncle Jessie, Rosco P. Colet,rain, Boss Hogg, The 1988 Oakland A's, Droz, Jesus, Satan, Enus, Christopher Walken, Keith Richards, Eric Clapton, Ginger Baker, Jack Bruce, Jeff Beck, Jimmy Page, Joe F. Perry, DMX, ODB, Ja-Rule, Paul Stanley, Gene Simmons, Peter Criss, ACE FREHLEY, Bruce Kulick, Vinnie Vincent, Eric Carr, Eric Singer, Jessica Comer, Barry Dillon, Bigger Thomas, Jared Barker, Shawn Michaels, Jericho, SABU, RVD, Brandy Bagar, Paige Mustard, BROOKE BOURNE, Matthew Wooten, Lala Wooten, James Richard Wooten, Tammy Underwood, Richard Underwood Jr., T-Bone, Cooter, Effie Epperson, Bob Epperson, the one armed guy who hangs around downtown, Thomas J. Whitmore, Bruce Raven, Wedny Bray,Drake Calloway, Stephanie Ballargin (?), Pete, the guys at Anheiser-Busch, Jack Daniels, Jim Bean, Joel "whether at home or here in Dayton the women are watchin me and maturbatin" Gertner, Cyrus, Joey Styles, Anthony Perdue, Spyder Crowley, Johnny Blast, Ward and June, Brian Logan, Joey Morton, Jared Rottenberry, J.D. Rottenberry, Grandmasta Sexxy, Scotty Too Hotty, Danny Cameron, Heather Lyons, Jamie Hypes, Leah Hypes, Michael Williams, Brandon Williams, Last year's French chick, This years french chick, Kelly Howell, Jessica Stamper, Hannah Stamper, Ryan Stamper, Jeff Burnopp, Caressa Barton, her older sister who was cool, Sarah Kinder, Sarah Stevenson, Stephanie Walk, Steve Matthews, Thomas White, Arron Combs, Ben and Jerry, Daniel Mounts, the guy who "raped" Elisha Cuppett, Shannon Stewart, Mike Haddox, the Puppies, Ulysses, GENERAL LEE, KIT, David Hasslehoff, Jan Micheal Vincent, The guy in teh cartoon who turned into his car, the smurfs, the FRAGGLEs, Wendy Bray, Mario and Luigi, Sonic the Hedgehog, Walt Disney's cremated body, Pricess Di (in hell), JFK Jr., Hitler, Musolini, Castro, My Dad's French chick, Bret Hart, Owen Hart, Mike Meyers, Austin Powers, Wayne Cambell, Andy Kaufman, Tony Clifton, Ladka, Jerry "the King" Lawler, The cast of MTV'S "The State", Beth Littleford, Jon Stewart, Mo Rocca, Vance Degeneres, Steve Cobert, Jimmy Kimel, Ben Stein, Adam Corolla, Bill Clinton, His cock, Monica Lewinsky, Linda Tripp, Stephanie Flowers, Paula Jones, Tonya Harding, Nancy Kerrigan, Jeff Goloulee, Lou E. Dnagerously, Tom Petty, Mandy Moore, Britanny Spears, Christina Agulera, Backstreet Boys, N'SYNC, 98 Degrees, 3 count, Fozzy Osbourne, Ozzy Osbourne, Ozzie Osborune, Rob Zombie, Phil Anselmo, Dimebag Darrel, Vinnie Paul, Rex, Waylon Jennings, Wille Nelson, Johnny Cash, Kris Kristopherson, Yoko Ono, Fred Durst, The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, CREAM, Aerosmith, KISS, 80's KISS, Reunited KISS, Wendy bray,Flotsam and Jetsom, Metallica, Metallica w/out Cliff, AC/DC, Motley Crue, Poison, Unskinny Rose, C.C. Deville, Ford Motor COmpany, Steve Mother-fucking Polychronopolous, Adam Sandler, the Chrysler Corp, Every 1969 Dodge Chager every built (particulalry ones painted orange), Oldmobiles, Geos, Breyers Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream, Nicole Johnson, Nicole Perry, Nicole Thompson, Nicole Artrip, Nicole Sullivan, Nicole Baurer,
Nicole-(ous) Cage, Danny Bonaducci, Leif Garret, Donny Osmond, Marie Osmond, Tommy Hilfigger, Wendy Bray,FUBU, Levi, Lee, Wendy's resturaunt chain, niggers everywhere, all the fags, Jews, spics, chinks, japs, honkies, wetbacks, Nazi's, The Axis Powers, No Doubt, Sean Gurtis, Bush, Silverchair, Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Pearl Necklace, Pearl Drums, Pearl S. Buck, Pearly Bowman, Eric Estrada, Every car every blown up on TV or in a cool movie, Arnold Shwartzenager, That skinny bitch off Dateline he's married to, Jane Pauley, Stone Phillips, Tom Brokaw, Dan Rather, Peter Jennings, My insanlely large cock, Bryant Gumball, Katie Kouric, Willard Scott, Al Roker, Matt Lauer, Ronald McDonald, Grimmace, the Hamburgler, Birdie, Mayor McCheese, Bogey, Pammy, Rick, Scott Steiner, Drizzt Do'Urden, Elminister, the Polterguist, the Exorcist, Linda Blair, the Blair Witch, Heather Donahue, Phil Donahue, Rosie O'donnel, Oprah, Harpo Productions, Wendy Bray,Happy Madison Productions, David Spade, Dana Carvey, The 1984 Indianpolis Colts, Garth Algar, The Church Lady, Ross Perot, Micheal Ducockass,
Saddam Hussaine, Macanudo Cigars, Allsop Mousepads, Value Jet, Pan-Am flight 109 over Lockerby Scotland, George Clinton and Parlamental Funk, All the transvestites of the world, all of the transvestites removed penises, Lesbians, Jim Carrey, Ace Ventura, The Cable Guy, Fake Andy Kaufman, Rubberface, Lloyd Christmas, Fender Guitars, Gibson Guitars, Wendy Bray, Les Paul, Leo Fender, Marshall Amplifiers, Michael Jackson, Iron Maiden, Black Sabbath, Matt Glover, All the members of The Razor Blade Cult, Lloyd Bridges, Beau Bridges, Bea Arthur, Estelle Getty, Tim Allen, Abe Lincoln, The hot version of Sigourney Weaver, Al Snow, Al Gets, Al Yankovic, Allen Thick, Dick Clark, Andy Rooney, Andy Rickter, Conan O'Brien, Roger Anderson, Frank Parker, Tori Amos, Jewel, Alex Trebek, Tori Wilson, Pat Sajak, Banjo Kazzooie, Twisted Metal 4, Doink the Clown, Pamela Anderson Lee, Tommy Lee, Alyssa Milano, Wendy Bray,Beth Hash, Ice Cube, Ice Tea, Vanilla Ice, M.C. Hammer, Villanos 1 through 42, Lenny Lane, Lodi, Tommy Orion, Billy Sadler, Benjamin Nyetanyahoo, Lolita Davidovich, Carnie Wilson, Indiana Jones, Han Solo, Luke Skywalker, James T. Kirk, Pubic hair spong, Barney the dinosaur, Big Bird, Snuffallunfagus, Will Smith, Tupac, Puff daddy, Pistacios Nuts, Mr. Peanut, Mr. T, Mr. Belding, Tweek and Craig, Zakk Wylde, Zack Morris, A.C. Slater, Kelly Capowski, Lisa Turtle, Screech, Jesse Spano, Carlos Santana, Wendy Bray, James Hettfield, Lars Ulrich, Kirk Hammet, Jason Newsted, Ralph Lauren, Ralph, Ronald Reagan, Jimmy Carter, George Bush, George Thorogood, David Arquette, Mariah Carey's Tits and Ass, The girl from Disc Jockey with perfect Tits and Ass, The all around hot girl from Sunglass Hut, The woman in Leopard Skin selling copper, The dudes that sell hoods, Tommmy Dreamer, all the guys at Nascar HQ, Tree Hugging Hippie Store, Dip N Dots, KISS dude at Spencers, Carie Worley, David at Kay Bee, Mindboggle, Silent Scope, Tyler Winkler, Henry Winkler, The Fonz, Jonie and Chachie, Richie Cunningham, Scott Bayo, Mel Saunders, Dustin Hoffman, Jack Nickelson, Hal Sparks, Mel Gibson, Bruce Willis, Chuck Norris, Tom Arnold, Walker,Texas Ranger, Randy Rhoads, Suzzanne Somers, Tom Selleck, Magnum P.I., Bert Reynolds, The cast of Riptide, Captain Winkie, Ben Folds Five, Steve Bushemi, Quentin Tarantino, Harvey Kytel, Penis pistol from duck til dawn, Mark Callaway, Salma Hayek, Jennifer Lopez, Daisey Fuetes, CATHERINE-ZETA-JONES, JENNY McCARTHY, Dennis Rodman, CARMAN ELECTRA, Denise Richards, Terri Runnels, Tori, Debra, Ivory, Chyna, Rena Mero, The chick with Black hair that was perfect, chick from Ames, Wendy Bray, Grace Slick, Jefferson Airplane, Clarence "the Fire Breathing Negro", Trojan Man, Julius Ceasar, CALIGULA, Stanley Kubrick, Oliver Stone, JFK, Jackie O, Steven Spielberg, Rob Sneider, George Lucas, Jeremy McGrath, Tony Hawk, Nick, Ryan, Roby and Tyler, Jergens Lotion, Hugo Boss, Squave, 12 dollar shampoo, Dave's Brush, David loves Miss Congeniality, David Horowitz...The Jew! He likes to watch us masterbate and he goes: "Splat splooo slooop" all over us, Rico Squave, Mitch Headberg, Lewis Black, THE ROCK, The girl who wouldn't have gone to college if it weren't for her horse, Steve Austin, Hacksaw Jim Duggan, Shane Douglas, Steve Corino, Hewlett Packard, Bill Gates, Jack Victory, ROADKILL, Danny Doring, Electra, DAWN MARIE, Justin Credible, Lance Storm: From Calgary...Alberta, Canada, Vito Lagrassi, Mulletts all over the globe, Little Guido, BIG SAL E. GRAZIANO, Tracy Smothers, Make-out fest 1986, Jerry Lynn, Spike Dudley, Mike Awesome, Masato Tanaka, Masahiro Chono, Yoshihiro Tajiri, The Great Muta, g Fresh, INDIANS from CANNIBAL THE MUSICAL, ALFRED PACKER, Juan Swartz, SCHWAN, Humphries, Trey Parker, Matt Stone, Meatloaf, Barbara Streisand, Dale Earnhardt,George Carlin, Jose Canseco, Cream Boxed Sets, THAT LOVELY, LOVELY POETRY BOOK, and of course, PROVIDENCE!
Merry Christmas to:





Richard Donald Underwood III
UNCLE David Setliff! ( The accountant )
Jessyca Hope Blankenship
Melissa, Eve, Foster, Brandi, Travis Ray Cole, Wes, The bartender's Ass, Christina, Terry, Culver,Mick Foley, Scruggs, Meachum, Shott, Stonestreet, WENDY BRAY, Burgess, Christen Carper, Jodi Taylor, Elisha Cuppett, Stephanie Fowler, Amanda Cochran, Charles Bently, John Henson, Chris and Beth Henry, Mr. Godfrey, Mr. Bourne, Mr. Hankey, Kenny, Kyle, Cartman, Stan, Beavis, Butt-head, Bo Duke, Luke Duke, Daisy, Uncle Jessie, Rosco P. Colet,rain, Boss Hogg, The 1988 Oakland A's, Droz, Jesus, Satan, Enus, Christopher Walken, Keith Richards, Eric Clapton, Ginger Baker, Jack Bruce, Jeff Beck, Jimmy Page, Joe F. Perry, DMX, ODB, Ja-Rule, Paul Stanley, Gene Simmons, Peter Criss, ACE FREHLEY, Bruce Kulick, Vinnie Vincent, Eric Carr, Eric Singer, Jessica Comer, Barry Dillon, Bigger Thomas, Jared Barker, Shawn Michaels, Jericho, SABU, RVD, Brandy Bagar, Paige Mustard, BROOKE BOURNE, Matthew Wooten, Lala Wooten, James Richard Wooten, Tammy Underwood, Richard Underwood Jr., T-Bone, Cooter, Effie Epperson, Bob Epperson, the one armed guy who hangs around downtown, Thomas J. Whitmore, Bruce Raven, Wedny Bray,Drake Calloway, Stephanie Ballargin (?), Pete, the guys at Anheiser-Busch, Jack Daniels, Jim Bean, Joel "whether at home or here in Dayton the women are watchin me and maturbatin" Gertner, Cyrus, Joey Styles, Anthony Perdue, Spyder Crowley, Johnny Blast, Ward and June, Brian Logan, Joey Morton, Jared Rottenberry, J.D. Rottenberry, Grandmasta Sexxy, Scotty Too Hotty, Danny Cameron, Heather Lyons, Jamie Hypes, Leah Hypes, Michael Williams, Brandon Williams, Last year's French chick, This years french chick, Kelly Howell, Jessica Stamper, Hannah Stamper, Ryan Stamper, Jeff Burnopp, Caressa Barton, her older sister who was cool, Sarah Kinder, Sarah Stevenson, Stephanie Walk, Steve Matthews, Thomas White, Arron Combs, Ben and Jerry, Daniel Mounts, the guy who "raped" Elisha Cuppett, Shannon Stewart, Mike Haddox, the Puppies, Ulysses, GENERAL LEE, KIT, David Hasslehoff, Jan Micheal Vincent, The guy in teh cartoon who turned into his car, the smurfs, the FRAGGLEs, Wendy Bray, Mario and Luigi, Sonic the Hedgehog, Walt Disney's cremated body, Pricess Di (in hell), JFK Jr., Hitler, Musolini, Castro, My Dad's French chick, Bret Hart, Owen Hart, Mike Meyers, Austin Powers, Wayne Cambell, Andy Kaufman, Tony Clifton, Ladka, Jerry "the King" Lawler, The cast of MTV'S "The State", Beth Littleford, Jon Stewart, Mo Rocca, Vance Degeneres, Steve Cobert, Jimmy Kimel, Ben Stein, Adam Corolla, Bill Clinton, His cock, Monica Lewinsky, Linda Tripp, Stephanie Flowers, Paula Jones, Tonya Harding, Nancy Kerrigan, Jeff Goloulee, Lou E. Dnagerously, Tom Petty, Mandy Moore, Britanny Spears, Christina Agulera, Backstreet Boys, N'SYNC, 98 Degrees, 3 count, Fozzy Osbourne, Ozzy Osbourne, Ozzie Osborune, Rob Zombie, Phil Anselmo, Dimebag Darrel, Vinnie Paul, Rex, Waylon Jennings, Wille Nelson, Johnny Cash, Kris Kristopherson, Yoko Ono, Fred Durst, The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, CREAM, Aerosmith, KISS, 80's KISS, Reunited KISS, Wendy bray,Flotsam and Jetsom, Metallica, Metallica w/out Cliff, AC/DC, Motley Crue, Poison, Unskinny Rose, C.C. Deville, Ford Motor COmpany, Steve Mother-fucking Polychronopolous, Adam Sandler, the Chrysler Corp, Every 1969 Dodge Chager every built (particulalry ones painted orange), Oldmobiles, Geos, Breyers Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream, Nicole Johnson, Nicole Perry, Nicole Thompson, Nicole Artrip, Nicole Sullivan, Nicole Baurer,
Nicole-(ous) Cage, Danny Bonaducci, Leif Garret, Donny Osmond, Marie Osmond, Tommy Hilfigger, Wendy Bray,FUBU, Levi, Lee, Wendy's resturaunt chain, niggers everywhere, all the fags, Jews, spics, chinks, japs, honkies, wetbacks, Nazi's, The Axis Powers, No Doubt, Sean Gurtis, Bush, Silverchair, Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Pearl Necklace, Pearl Drums, Pearl S. Buck, Pearly Bowman, Eric Estrada, Every car every blown up on TV or in a cool movie, Arnold Shwartzenager, That skinny bitch off Dateline he's married to, Jane Pauley, Stone Phillips, Tom Brokaw, Dan Rather, Peter Jennings, My insanlely large cock, Bryant Gumball, Katie Kouric, Willard Scott, Al Roker, Matt Lauer, Ronald McDonald, Grimmace, the Hamburgler, Birdie, Mayor McCheese, Bogey, Pammy, Rick, Scott Steiner, Drizzt Do'Urden, Elminister, the Polterguist, the Exorcist, Linda Blair, the Blair Witch, Heather Donahue, Phil Donahue, Rosie O'donnel, Oprah, Harpo Productions, Wendy Bray,Happy Madison Productions, David Spade, Dana Carvey, The 1984 Indianpolis Colts, Garth Algar, The Church Lady, Ross Perot, Micheal Ducockass,
Saddam Hussaine, Macanudo Cigars, Allsop Mousepads, Value Jet, Pan-Am flight 109 over Lockerby Scotland, George Clinton and Parlamental Funk, All the transvestites of the world, all of the transvestites removed penises, Lesbians, Jim Carrey, Ace Ventura, The Cable Guy, Fake Andy Kaufman, Rubberface, Lloyd Christmas, Fender Guitars, Gibson Guitars, Wendy Bray, Les Paul, Leo Fender, Marshall Amplifiers, Michael Jackson, Iron Maiden, Black Sabbath, Matt Glover, All the members of The Razor Blade Cult, Lloyd Bridges, Beau Bridges, Bea Arthur, Estelle Getty, Tim Allen, Abe Lincoln, The hot version of Sigourney Weaver, Al Snow, Al Gets, Al Yankovic, Allen Thick, Dick Clark, Andy Rooney, Andy Rickter, Conan O'Brien, Roger Anderson, Frank Parker, Tori Amos, Jewel, Alex Trebek, Tori Wilson, Pat Sajak, Banjo Kazzooie, Twisted Metal 4, Doink the Clown, Pamela Anderson Lee, Tommy Lee, Alyssa Milano, Wendy Bray,Beth Hash, Ice Cube, Ice Tea, Vanilla Ice, M.C. Hammer, Villanos 1 through 42, Lenny Lane, Lodi, Tommy Orion, Billy Sadler, Benjamin Nyetanyahoo, Lolita Davidovich, Carnie Wilson, Indiana Jones, Han Solo, Luke Skywalker, James T. Kirk, Pubic hair spong, Barney the dinosaur, Big Bird, Snuffallunfagus, Will Smith, Tupac, Puff daddy, Pistacios Nuts, Mr. Peanut, Mr. T, Mr. Belding, Tweek and Craig, Zakk Wylde, Zack Morris, A.C. Slater, Kelly Capowski, Lisa Turtle, Screech, Jesse Spano, Carlos Santana, Wendy Bray, James Hettfield, Lars Ulrich, Kirk Hammet, Jason Newsted, Ralph Lauren, Ralph, Ronald Reagan, Jimmy Carter, George Bush, George Thorogood, David Arquette, Mariah Carey's Tits and Ass, The girl from Disc Jockey with perfect Tits and Ass, The all around hot girl from Sunglass Hut, The woman in Leopard Skin selling copper, The dudes that sell hoods, Tommmy Dreamer, all the guys at Nascar HQ, Tree Hugging Hippie Store, Dip N Dots, KISS dude at Spencers, Carie Worley, David at Kay Bee, Mindboggle, Silent Scope, Tyler Winkler, Henry Winkler, The Fonz, Jonie and Chachie, Richie Cunningham, Scott Bayo, Mel Saunders, Dustin Hoffman, Jack Nickelson, Hal Sparks, Mel Gibson, Bruce Willis, Chuck Norris, Tom Arnold, Walker,Texas Ranger, Randy Rhoads, Suzzanne Somers, Tom Selleck, Magnum P.I., Bert Reynolds, The cast of Riptide, Captain Winkie, Ben Folds Five, Steve Bushemi, Quentin Tarantino, Harvey Kytel, Penis pistol from duck til dawn, Mark Callaway, Salma Hayek, Jennifer Lopez, Daisey Fuetes, CATHERINE-ZETA-JONES, JENNY McCARTHY, Dennis Rodman, CARMAN ELECTRA, Denise Richards, Terri Runnels, Tori, Debra, Ivory, Chyna, Rena Mero, The chick with Black hair that was perfect, chick from Ames, Wendy Bray, Grace Slick, Jefferson Airplane, Clarence "the Fire Breathing Negro", Trojan Man, Julius Ceasar, CALIGULA, Stanley Kubrick, Oliver Stone, JFK, Jackie O, Steven Spielberg, Rob Sneider, George Lucas, Jeremy McGrath, Tony Hawk, Nick, Ryan, Roby and Tyler, Jergens Lotion, Hugo Boss, Squave, 12 dollar shampoo, Dave's Brush, David loves Miss Congeniality, David Horowitz...The Jew! He likes to watch us masterbate and he goes: "Splat splooo slooop" all over us, Rico Squave, Mitch Headberg, Lewis Black, THE ROCK, The girl who wouldn't have gone to college if it weren't for her horse, Steve Austin, Hacksaw Jim Duggan, Shane Douglas, Steve Corino, Hewlett Packard, Bill Gates, Jack Victory, ROADKILL, Danny Doring, Electra, DAWN MARIE, Justin Credible, Lance Storm: From Calgary...Alberta, Canada, Vito Lagrassi, Mulletts all over the globe, Little Guido, BIG SAL E. GRAZIANO, Tracy Smothers, Make-out fest 1986, Jerry Lynn, Spike Dudley, Mike Awesome, Masato Tanaka, Masahiro Chono, Yoshihiro Tajiri, The Great Muta, g Fresh, INDIANS from CANNIBAL THE MUSICAL, ALFRED PACKER, Juan Swartz, SCHWAN, Humphries, Trey Parker, Matt Stone, Meatloaf, Barbara Streisand, Dale Earnhardt,George Carlin, Jose Canseco, Cream Boxed Sets, THAT LOVELY, LOVELY POETRY BOOK, and of course, PROVIDENCE!
Merry Christmas to:





Richard Donald Underwood III
UNCLE David Setliff! ( The accountant )
Jessyca Hope Blankenship
Melissa, Eve, Foster, Brandi, Travis Ray Cole, Wes, The bartender's Ass, Christina, Terry, Culver,Mick Foley, Scruggs, Meachum, Shott, Stonestreet, WENDY BRAY, Burgess, Christen Carper, Jodi Taylor, Elisha Cuppett, Stephanie Fowler, Amanda Cochran, Charles Bently, John Henson, Chris and Beth Henry, Mr. Godfrey, Mr. Bourne, Mr. Hankey, Kenny, Kyle, Cartman, Stan, Beavis, Butt-head, Bo Duke, Luke Duke, Daisy, Uncle Jessie, Rosco P. Colet,rain, Boss Hogg, The 1988 Oakland A's, Droz, Jesus, Satan, Enus, Christopher Walken, Keith Richards, Eric Clapton, Ginger Baker, Jack Bruce, Jeff Beck, Jimmy Page, Joe F. Perry, DMX, ODB, Ja-Rule, Paul Stanley, Gene Simmons, Peter Criss, ACE FREHLEY, Bruce Kulick, Vinnie Vincent, Eric Carr, Eric Singer, Jessica Comer, Barry Dillon, Bigger Thomas, Jared Barker, Shawn Michaels, Jericho, SABU, RVD, Brandy Bagar, Paige Mustard, BROOKE BOURNE, Matthew Wooten, Lala Wooten, James Richard Wooten, Tammy Underwood, Richard Underwood Jr., T-Bone, Cooter, Effie Epperson, Bob Epperson, the one armed guy who hangs around downtown, Thomas J. Whitmore, Bruce Raven, Wedny Bray,Drake Calloway, Stephanie Ballargin (?), Pete, the guys at Anheiser-Busch, Jack Daniels, Jim Bean, Joel "whether at home or here in Dayton the women are watchin me and maturbatin" Gertner, Cyrus, Joey Styles, Anthony Perdue, Spyder Crowley, Johnny Blast, Ward and June, Brian Logan, Joey Morton, Jared Rottenberry, J.D. Rottenberry, Grandmasta Sexxy, Scotty Too Hotty, Danny Cameron, Heather Lyons, Jamie Hypes, Leah Hypes, Michael Williams, Brandon Williams, Last year's French chick, This years french chick, Kelly Howell, Jessica Stamper, Hannah Stamper, Ryan Stamper, Jeff Burnopp, Caressa Barton, her older sister who was cool, Sarah Kinder, Sarah Stevenson, Stephanie Walk, Steve Matthews, Thomas White, Arron Combs, Ben and Jerry, Daniel Mounts, the guy who "raped" Elisha Cuppett, Shannon Stewart, Mike Haddox, the Puppies, Ulysses, GENERAL LEE, KIT, David Hasslehoff, Jan Micheal Vincent, The guy in teh cartoon who turned into his car, the smurfs, the FRAGGLEs, Wendy Bray, Mario and Luigi, Sonic the Hedgehog, Walt Disney's cremated body, Pricess Di (in hell), JFK Jr., Hitler, Musolini, Castro, My Dad's French chick, Bret Hart, Owen Hart, Mike Meyers, Austin Powers, Wayne Cambell, Andy Kaufman, Tony Clifton, Ladka, Jerry "the King" Lawler, The cast of MTV'S "The State", Beth Littleford, Jon Stewart, Mo Rocca, Vance Degeneres, Steve Cobert, Jimmy Kimel, Ben Stein, Adam Corolla, Bill Clinton, His cock, Monica Lewinsky, Linda Tripp, Stephanie Flowers, Paula Jones, Tonya Harding, Nancy Kerrigan, Jeff Goloulee, Lou E. Dnagerously, Tom Petty, Mandy Moore, Britanny Spears, Christina Agulera, Backstreet Boys, N'SYNC, 98 Degrees, 3 count, Fozzy Osbourne, Ozzy Osbourne, Ozzie Osborune, Rob Zombie, Phil Anselmo, Dimebag Darrel, Vinnie Paul, Rex, Waylon Jennings, Wille Nelson, Johnny Cash, Kris Kristopherson, Yoko Ono, Fred Durst, The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, CREAM, Aerosmith, KISS, 80's KISS, Reunited KISS, Wendy bray,Flotsam and Jetsom, Metallica, Metallica w/out Cliff, AC/DC, Motley Crue, Poison, Unskinny Rose, C.C. Deville, Ford Motor COmpany, Steve Mother-fucking Polychronopolous, Adam Sandler, the Chrysler Corp, Every 1969 Dodge Chager every built (particulalry ones painted orange), Oldmobiles, Geos, Breyers Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream, Nicole Johnson, Nicole Perry, Nicole Thompson, Nicole Artrip, Nicole Sullivan, Nicole Baurer,
Nicole-(ous) Cage, Danny Bonaducci, Leif Garret, Donny Osmond, Marie Osmond, Tommy Hilfigger, Wendy Bray,FUBU, Levi, Lee, Wendy's resturaunt chain, niggers everywhere, all the fags, Jews, spics, chinks, japs, honkies, wetbacks, Nazi's, The Axis Powers, No Doubt, Sean Gurtis, Bush, Silverchair, Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Pearl Necklace, Pearl Drums, Pearl S. Buck, Pearly Bowman, Eric Estrada, Every car every blown up on TV or in a cool movie, Arnold Shwartzenager, That skinny bitch off Dateline he's married to, Jane Pauley, Stone Phillips, Tom Brokaw, Dan Rather, Peter Jennings, My insanlely large cock, Bryant Gumball, Katie Kouric, Willard Scott, Al Roker, Matt Lauer, Ronald McDonald, Grimmace, the Hamburgler, Birdie, Mayor McCheese, Bogey, Pammy, Rick, Scott Steiner, Drizzt Do'Urden, Elminister, the Polterguist, the Exorcist, Linda Blair, the Blair Witch, Heather Donahue, Phil Donahue, Rosie O'donnel, Oprah, Harpo Productions, Wendy Bray,Happy Madison Productions, David Spade, Dana Carvey, The 1984 Indianpolis Colts, Garth Algar, The Church Lady, Ross Perot, Micheal Ducockass,
Saddam Hussaine, Macanudo Cigars, Allsop Mousepads, Value Jet, Pan-Am flight 109 over Lockerby Scotland, George Clinton and Parlamental Funk, All the transvestites of the world, all of the transvestites removed penises, Lesbians, Jim Carrey, Ace Ventura, The Cable Guy, Fake Andy Kaufman, Rubberface, Lloyd Christmas, Fender Guitars, Gibson Guitars, Wendy Bray, Les Paul, Leo Fender, Marshall Amplifiers, Michael Jackson, Iron Maiden, Black Sabbath, Matt Glover, All the members of The Razor Blade Cult, Lloyd Bridges, Beau Bridges, Bea Arthur, Estelle Getty, Tim Allen, Abe Lincoln, The hot version of Sigourney Weaver, Al Snow, Al Gets, Al Yankovic, Allen Thick, Dick Clark, Andy Rooney, Andy Rickter, Conan O'Brien, Roger Anderson, Frank Parker, Tori Amos, Jewel, Alex Trebek, Tori Wilson, Pat Sajak, Banjo Kazzooie, Twisted Metal 4, Doink the Clown, Pamela Anderson Lee, Tommy Lee, Alyssa Milano, Wendy Bray,Beth Hash, Ice Cube, Ice Tea, Vanilla Ice, M.C. Hammer, Villanos 1 through 42, Lenny Lane, Lodi, Tommy Orion, Billy Sadler, Benjamin Nyetanyahoo, Lolita Davidovich, Carnie Wilson, Indiana Jones, Han Solo, Luke Skywalker, James T. Kirk, Pubic hair spong, Barney the dinosaur, Big Bird, Snuffallunfagus, Will Smith, Tupac, Puff daddy, Pistacios Nuts, Mr. Peanut, Mr. T, Mr. Belding, Tweek and Craig, Zakk Wylde, Zack Morris, A.C. Slater, Kelly Capowski, Lisa Turtle, Screech, Jesse Spano, Carlos Santana, Wendy Bray, James Hettfield, Lars Ulrich, Kirk Hammet, Jason Newsted, Ralph Lauren, Ralph, Ronald Reagan, Jimmy Carter, George Bush, George Thorogood, David Arquette, Mariah Carey's Tits and Ass, The girl from Disc Jockey with perfect Tits and Ass, The all around hot girl from Sunglass Hut, The woman in Leopard Skin selling copper, The dudes that sell hoods, Tommmy Dreamer, all the guys at Nascar HQ, Tree Hugging Hippie Store, Dip N Dots, KISS dude at Spencers, Carie Worley, David at Kay Bee, Mindboggle, Silent Scope, Tyler Winkler, Henry Winkler, The Fonz, Jonie and Chachie, Richie Cunningham, Scott Bayo, Mel Saunders, Dustin Hoffman, Jack Nickelson, Hal Sparks, Mel Gibson, Bruce Willis, Chuck Norris, Tom Arnold, Walker,Texas Ranger, Randy Rhoads, Suzzanne Somers, Tom Selleck, Magnum P.I., Bert Reynolds, The cast of Riptide, Captain Winkie, Ben Folds Five, Steve Bushemi, Quentin Tarantino, Harvey Kytel, Penis pistol from duck til dawn, Mark Callaway, Salma Hayek, Jennifer Lopez, Daisey Fuetes, CATHERINE-ZETA-JONES, JENNY McCARTHY, Dennis Rodman, CARMAN ELECTRA, Denise Richards, Terri Runnels, Tori, Debra, Ivory, Chyna, Rena Mero, The chick with Black hair that was perfect, chick from Ames, Wendy Bray, Grace Slick, Jefferson Airplane, Clarence "the Fire Breathing Negro", Trojan Man, Julius Ceasar, CALIGULA, Stanley Kubrick, Oliver Stone, JFK, Jackie O, Steven Spielberg, Rob Sneider, George Lucas, Jeremy McGrath, Tony Hawk, Nick, Ryan, Roby and Tyler, Jergens Lotion, Hugo Boss, Squave, 12 dollar shampoo, Dave's Brush, David loves Miss Congeniality, David Horowitz...The Jew! He likes to watch us masterbate and he goes: "Splat splooo slooop" all over us, Rico Squave, Mitch Headberg, Lewis Black, THE ROCK, The girl who wouldn't have gone to college if it weren't for her horse, Steve Austin, Hacksaw Jim Duggan, Shane Douglas, Steve Corino, Hewlett Packard, Bill Gates, Jack Victory, ROADKILL, Danny Doring, Electra, DAWN MARIE, Justin Credible, Lance Storm: From Calgary...Alberta, Canada, Vito Lagrassi, Mulletts all over the globe, Little Guido, BIG SAL E. GRAZIANO, Tracy Smothers, Make-out fest 1986, Jerry Lynn, Spike Dudley, Mike Awesome, Masato Tanaka, Masahiro Chono, Yoshihiro Tajiri, The Great Muta, g Fresh, INDIANS from CANNIBAL THE MUSICAL, ALFRED PACKER, Juan Swartz, SCHWAN, Humphries, Trey Parker, Matt Stone, Meatloaf, Barbara Streisand, Dale Earnhardt,George Carlin, Jose Canseco, Cream Boxed Sets, THAT LOVELY, LOVELY POETRY BOOK, and of course, PROVIDENCE!
Merry Christmas to:





Richard Donald Underwood III
UNCLE David Setliff! ( The accountant )
Jessyca Hope Blankenship
Melissa, Eve, Foster, Brandi, Travis Ray Cole, Wes, The bartender's Ass, Christina, Terry, Culver,Mick Foley, Scruggs, Meachum, Shott, Stonestreet, WENDY BRAY, Burgess, Christen Carper, Jodi Taylor, Elisha Cuppett, Stephanie Fowler, Amanda Cochran, Charles Bently, John Henson, Chris and Beth Henry, Mr. Godfrey, Mr. Bourne, Mr. Hankey, Kenny, Kyle, Cartman, Stan, Beavis, Butt-head, Bo Duke, Luke Duke, Daisy, Uncle Jessie, Rosco P. Colet,rain, Boss Hogg, The 1988 Oakland A's, Droz, Jesus, Satan, Enus, Christopher Walken, Keith Richards, Eric Clapton, Ginger Baker, Jack Bruce, Jeff Beck, Jimmy Page, Joe F. Perry, DMX, ODB, Ja-Rule, Paul Stanley, Gene Simmons, Peter Criss, ACE FREHLEY, Bruce Kulick, Vinnie Vincent, Eric Carr, Eric Singer, Jessica Comer, Barry Dillon, Bigger Thomas, Jared Barker, Shawn Michaels, Jericho, SABU, RVD, Brandy Bagar, Paige Mustard, BROOKE BOURNE, Matthew Wooten, Lala Wooten, James Richard Wooten, Tammy Underwood, Richard Underwood Jr., T-Bone, Cooter, Effie Epperson, Bob Epperson, the one armed guy who hangs around downtown, Thomas J. Whitmore, Bruce Raven, Wedny Bray,Drake Calloway, Stephanie Ballargin (?), Pete, the guys at Anheiser-Busch, Jack Daniels, Jim Bean, Joel "whether at home or here in Dayton the women are watchin me and maturbatin" Gertner, Cyrus, Joey Styles, Anthony Perdue, Spyder Crowley, Johnny Blast, Ward and June, Brian Logan, Joey Morton, Jared Rottenberry, J.D. Rottenberry, Grandmasta Sexxy, Scotty Too Hotty, Danny Cameron, Heather Lyons, Jamie Hypes, Leah Hypes, Michael Williams, Brandon Williams, Last year's French chick, This years french chick, Kelly Howell, Jessica Stamper, Hannah Stamper, Ryan Stamper, Jeff Burnopp, Caressa Barton, her older sister who was cool, Sarah Kinder, Sarah Stevenson, Stephanie Walk, Steve Matthews, Thomas White, Arron Combs, Ben and Jerry, Daniel Mounts, the guy who "raped" Elisha Cuppett, Shannon Stewart, Mike Haddox, the Puppies, Ulysses, GENERAL LEE, KIT, David Hasslehoff, Jan Micheal Vincent, The guy in teh cartoon who turned into his car, the smurfs, the FRAGGLEs, Wendy Bray, Mario and Luigi, Sonic the Hedgehog, Walt Disney's cremated body, Pricess Di (in hell), JFK Jr., Hitler, Musolini, Castro, My Dad's French chick, Bret Hart, Owen Hart, Mike Meyers, Austin Powers, Wayne Cambell, Andy Kaufman, Tony Clifton, Ladka, Jerry "the King" Lawler, The cast of MTV'S "The State", Beth Littleford, Jon Stewart, Mo Rocca, Vance Degeneres, Steve Cobert, Jimmy Kimel, Ben Stein, Adam Corolla, Bill Clinton, His cock, Monica Lewinsky, Linda Tripp, Stephanie Flowers, Paula Jones, Tonya Harding, Nancy Kerrigan, Jeff Goloulee, Lou E. Dnagerously, Tom Petty, Mandy Moore, Britanny Spears, Christina Agulera, Backstreet Boys, N'SYNC, 98 Degrees, 3 count, Fozzy Osbourne, Ozzy Osbourne, Ozzie Osborune, Rob Zombie, Phil Anselmo, Dimebag Darrel, Vinnie Paul, Rex, Waylon Jennings, Wille Nelson, Johnny Cash, Kris Kristopherson, Yoko Ono, Fred Durst, The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, CREAM, Aerosmith, KISS, 80's KISS, Reunited KISS, Wendy bray,Flotsam and Jetsom, Metallica, Metallica w/out Cliff, AC/DC, Motley Crue, Poison, Unskinny Rose, C.C. Deville, Ford Motor COmpany, Steve Mother-fucking Polychronopolous, Adam Sandler, the Chrysler Corp, Every 1969 Dodge Chager every built (particulalry ones painted orange), Oldmobiles, Geos, Breyers Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream, Nicole Johnson, Nicole Perry, Nicole Thompson, Nicole Artrip, Nicole Sullivan, Nicole Baurer,
Nicole-(ous) Cage, Danny Bonaducci, Leif Garret, Donny Osmond, Marie Osmond, Tommy Hilfigger, Wendy Bray,FUBU, Levi, Lee, Wendy's resturaunt chain, niggers everywhere, all the fags, Jews, spics, chinks, japs, honkies, wetbacks, Nazi's, The Axis Powers, No Doubt, Sean Gurtis, Bush, Silverchair, Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Pearl Necklace, Pearl Drums, Pearl S. Buck, Pearly Bowman, Eric Estrada, Every car every blown up on TV or in a cool movie, Arnold Shwartzenager, That skinny bitch off Dateline he's married to, Jane Pauley, Stone Phillips, Tom Brokaw, Dan Rather, Peter Jennings, My insanlely large cock, Bryant Gumball, Katie Kouric, Willard Scott, Al Roker, Matt Lauer, Ronald McDonald, Grimmace, the Hamburgler, Birdie, Mayor McCheese, Bogey, Pammy, Rick, Scott Steiner, Drizzt Do'Urden, Elminister, the Polterguist, the Exorcist, Linda Blair, the Blair Witch, Heather Donahue, Phil Donahue, Rosie O'donnel, Oprah, Harpo Productions, Wendy Bray,Happy Madison Productions, David Spade, Dana Carvey, The 1984 Indianpolis Colts, Garth Algar, The Church Lady, Ross Perot, Micheal Ducockass,
Saddam Hussaine, Macanudo Cigars, Allsop Mousepads, Value Jet, Pan-Am flight 109 over Lockerby Scotland, George Clinton and Parlamental Funk, All the transvestites of the world, all of the transvestites removed penises, Lesbians, Jim Carrey, Ace Ventura, The Cable Guy, Fake Andy Kaufman, Rubberface, Lloyd Christmas, Fender Guitars, Gibson Guitars, Wendy Bray, Les Paul, Leo Fender, Marshall Amplifiers, Michael Jackson, Iron Maiden, Black Sabbath, Matt Glover, All the members of The Razor Blade Cult, Lloyd Bridges, Beau Bridges, Bea Arthur, Estelle Getty, Tim Allen, Abe Lincoln, The hot version of Sigourney Weaver, Al Snow, Al Gets, Al Yankovic, Allen Thick, Dick Clark, Andy Rooney, Andy Rickter, Conan O'Brien, Roger Anderson, Frank Parker, Tori Amos, Jewel, Alex Trebek, Tori Wilson, Pat Sajak, Banjo Kazzooie, Twisted Metal 4, Doink the Clown, Pamela Anderson Lee, Tommy Lee, Alyssa Milano, Wendy Bray,Beth Hash, Ice Cube, Ice Tea, Vanilla Ice, M.C. Hammer, Villanos 1 through 42, Lenny Lane, Lodi, Tommy Orion, Billy Sadler, Benjamin Nyetanyahoo, Lolita Davidovich, Carnie Wilson, Indiana Jones, Han Solo, Luke Skywalker, James T. Kirk, Pubic hair spong, Barney the dinosaur, Big Bird, Snuffallunfagus, Will Smith, Tupac, Puff daddy, Pistacios Nuts, Mr. Peanut, Mr. T, Mr. Belding, Tweek and Craig, Zakk Wylde, Zack Morris, A.C. Slater, Kelly Capowski, Lisa Turtle, Screech, Jesse Spano, Carlos Santana, Wendy Bray, James Hettfield, Lars Ulrich, Kirk Hammet, Jason Newsted, Ralph Lauren, Ralph, Ronald Reagan, Jimmy Carter, George Bush, George Thorogood, David Arquette, Mariah Carey's Tits and Ass, The girl from Disc Jockey with perfect Tits and Ass, The all around hot girl from Sunglass Hut, The woman in Leopard Skin selling copper, The dudes that sell hoods, Tommmy Dreamer, all the guys at Nascar HQ, Tree Hugging Hippie Store, Dip N Dots, KISS dude at Spencers, Carie Worley, David at Kay Bee, Mindboggle, Silent Scope, Tyler Winkler, Henry Winkler, The Fonz, Jonie and Chachie, Richie Cunningham, Scott Bayo, Mel Saunders, Dustin Hoffman, Jack Nickelson, Hal Sparks, Mel Gibson, Bruce Willis, Chuck Norris, Tom Arnold, Walker,Texas Ranger, Randy Rhoads, Suzzanne Somers, Tom Selleck, Magnum P.I., Bert Reynolds, The cast of Riptide, Captain Winkie, Ben Folds Five, Steve Bushemi, Quentin Tarantino, Harvey Kytel, Penis pistol from duck til dawn, Mark Callaway, Salma Hayek, Jennifer Lopez, Daisey Fuetes, CATHERINE-ZETA-JONES, JENNY McCARTHY, Dennis Rodman, CARMAN ELECTRA, Denise Richards, Terri Runnels, Tori, Debra, Ivory, Chyna, Rena Mero, The chick with Black hair that was perfect, chick from Ames, Wendy Bray, Grace Slick, Jefferson Airplane, Clarence "the Fire Breathing Negro", Trojan Man, Julius Ceasar, CALIGULA, Stanley Kubrick, Oliver Stone, JFK, Jackie O, Steven Spielberg, Rob Sneider, George Lucas, Jeremy McGrath, Tony Hawk, Nick, Ryan, Roby and Tyler, Jergens Lotion, Hugo Boss, Squave, 12 dollar shampoo, Dave's Brush, David loves Miss Congeniality, David Horowitz...The Jew! He likes to watch us masterbate and he goes: "Splat splooo slooop" all over us, Rico Squave, Mitch Headberg, Lewis Black, THE ROCK, The girl who wouldn't have gone to college if it weren't for her horse, Steve Austin, Hacksaw Jim Duggan, Shane Douglas, Steve Corino, Hewlett Packard, Bill Gates, Jack Victory, ROADKILL, Danny Doring, Electra, DAWN MARIE, Justin Credible, Lance Storm: From Calgary...Alberta, Canada, Vito Lagrassi, Mulletts all over the globe, Little Guido, BIG SAL E. GRAZIANO, Tracy Smothers, Make-out fest 1986, Jerry Lynn, Spike Dudley, Mike Awesome, Masato Tanaka, Masahiro Chono, Yoshihiro Tajiri, The Great Muta, g Fresh, INDIANS from CANNIBAL THE MUSICAL, ALFRED PACKER, Juan Swartz, SCHWAN, Humphries, Trey Parker, Matt Stone, Meatloaf, Barbara Streisand, Dale Earnhardt,George Carlin, Jose Canseco, Cream Boxed Sets, THAT LOVELY, LOVELY POETRY BOOK, and of course, PROVIDENCE!
Merry Christmas to:





Richard Donald Underwood III
UNCLE David Setliff! ( The accountant )
Jessyca Hope Blankenship
Melissa, Eve, Foster, Brandi, Travis Ray Cole, Wes, The bartender's Ass, Christina, Terry, Culver,Mick Foley, Scruggs, Meachum, Shott, Stonestreet, WENDY BRAY, Burgess, Christen Carper, Jodi Taylor, Elisha Cuppett, Stephanie Fowler, Amanda Cochran, Charles Bently, John Henson, Chris and Beth Henry, Mr. Godfrey, Mr. Bourne, Mr. Hankey, Kenny, Kyle, Cartman, Stan, Beavis, Butt-head, Bo Duke, Luke Duke, Daisy, Uncle Jessie, Rosco P. Colet,rain, Boss Hogg, The 1988 Oakland A's, Droz, Jesus, Satan, Enus, Christopher Walken, Keith Richards, Eric Clapton, Ginger Baker, Jack Bruce, Jeff Beck, Jimmy Page, Joe F. Perry, DMX, ODB, Ja-Rule, Paul Stanley, Gene Simmons, Peter Criss, ACE FREHLEY, Bruce Kulick, Vinnie Vincent, Eric Carr, Eric Singer, Jessica Comer, Barry Dillon, Bigger Thomas, Jared Barker, Shawn Michaels, Jericho, SABU, RVD, Brandy Bagar, Paige Mustard, BROOKE BOURNE, Matthew Wooten, Lala Wooten, James Richard Wooten, Tammy Underwood, Richard Underwood Jr., T-Bone, Cooter, Effie Epperson, Bob Epperson, the one armed guy who hangs around downtown, Thomas J. Whitmore, Bruce Raven, Wedny Bray,Drake Calloway, Stephanie Ballargin (?), Pete, the guys at Anheiser-Busch, Jack Daniels, Jim Bean, Joel "whether at home or here in Dayton the women are watchin me and maturbatin" Gertner, Cyrus, Joey Styles, Anthony Perdue, Spyder Crowley, Johnny Blast, Ward and June, Brian Logan, Joey Morton, Jared Rottenberry, J.D. Rottenberry, Grandmasta Sexxy, Scotty Too Hotty, Danny Cameron, Heather Lyons, Jamie Hypes, Leah Hypes, Michael Williams, Brandon Williams, Last year's French chick, This years french chick, Kelly Howell, Jessica Stamper, Hannah Stamper, Ryan Stamper, Jeff Burnopp, Caressa Barton, her older sister who was cool, Sarah Kinder, Sarah Stevenson, Stephanie Walk, Steve Matthews, Thomas White, Arron Combs, Ben and Jerry, Daniel Mounts, the guy who "raped" Elisha Cuppett, Shannon Stewart, Mike Haddox, the Puppies, Ulysses, GENERAL LEE, KIT, David Hasslehoff, Jan Micheal Vincent, The guy in teh cartoon who turned into his car, the smurfs, the FRAGGLEs, Wendy Bray, Mario and Luigi, Sonic the Hedgehog, Walt Disney's cremated body, Pricess Di (in hell), JFK Jr., Hitler, Musolini, Castro, My Dad's French chick, Bret Hart, Owen Hart, Mike Meyers, Austin Powers, Wayne Cambell, Andy Kaufman, Tony Clifton, Ladka, Jerry "the King" Lawler, The cast of MTV'S "The State", Beth Littleford, Jon Stewart, Mo Rocca, Vance Degeneres, Steve Cobert, Jimmy Kimel, Ben Stein, Adam Corolla, Bill Clinton, His cock, Monica Lewinsky, Linda Tripp, Stephanie Flowers, Paula Jones, Tonya Harding, Nancy Kerrigan, Jeff Goloulee, Lou E. Dnagerously, Tom Petty, Mandy Moore, Britanny Spears, Christina Agulera, Backstreet Boys, N'SYNC, 98 Degrees, 3 count, Fozzy Osbourne, Ozzy Osbourne, Ozzie Osborune, Rob Zombie, Phil Anselmo, Dimebag Darrel, Vinnie Paul, Rex, Waylon Jennings, Wille Nelson, Johnny Cash, Kris Kristopherson, Yoko Ono, Fred Durst, The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, CREAM, Aerosmith, KISS, 80's KISS, Reunited KISS, Wendy bray,Flotsam and Jetsom, Metallica, Metallica w/out Cliff, AC/DC, Motley Crue, Poison, Unskinny Rose, C.C. Deville, Ford Motor COmpany, Steve Mother-fucking Polychronopolous, Adam Sandler, the Chrysler Corp, Every 1969 Dodge Chager every built (particulalry ones painted orange), Oldmobiles, Geos, Breyers Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream, Nicole Johnson, Nicole Perry, Nicole Thompson, Nicole Artrip, Nicole Sullivan, Nicole Baurer,
Nicole-(ous) Cage, Danny Bonaducci, Leif Garret, Donny Osmond, Marie Osmond, Tommy Hilfigger, Wendy Bray,FUBU, Levi, Lee, Wendy's resturaunt chain, niggers everywhere, all the fags, Jews, spics, chinks, japs, honkies, wetbacks, Nazi's, The Axis Powers, No Doubt, Sean Gurtis, Bush, Silverchair, Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Pearl Necklace, Pearl Drums, Pearl S. Buck, Pearly Bowman, Eric Estrada, Every car every blown up on TV or in a cool movie, Arnold Shwartzenager, That skinny bitch off Dateline he's married to, Jane Pauley, Stone Phillips, Tom Brokaw, Dan Rather, Peter Jennings, My insanlely large cock, Bryant Gumball, Katie Kouric, Willard Scott, Al Roker, Matt Lauer, Ronald McDonald, Grimmace, the Hamburgler, Birdie, Mayor McCheese, Bogey, Pammy, Rick, Scott Steiner, Drizzt Do'Urden, Elminister, the Polterguist, the Exorcist, Linda Blair, the Blair Witch, Heather Donahue, Phil Donahue, Rosie O'donnel, Oprah, Harpo Productions, Wendy Bray,Happy Madison Productions, David Spade, Dana Carvey, The 1984 Indianpolis Colts, Garth Algar, The Church Lady, Ross Perot, Micheal Ducockass,
Saddam Hussaine, Macanudo Cigars, Allsop Mousepads, Value Jet, Pan-Am flight 109 over Lockerby Scotland, George Clinton and Parlamental Funk, All the transvestites of the world, all of the transvestites removed penises, Lesbians, Jim Carrey, Ace Ventura, The Cable Guy, Fake Andy Kaufman, Rubberface, Lloyd Christmas, Fender Guitars, Gibson Guitars, Wendy Bray, Les Paul, Leo Fender, Marshall Amplifiers, Michael Jackson, Iron Maiden, Black Sabbath, Matt Glover, All the members of The Razor Blade Cult, Lloyd Bridges, Beau Bridges, Bea Arthur, Estelle Getty, Tim Allen, Abe Lincoln, The hot version of Sigourney Weaver, Al Snow, Al Gets, Al Yankovic, Allen Thick, Dick Clark, Andy Rooney, Andy Rickter, Conan O'Brien, Roger Anderson, Frank Parker, Tori Amos, Jewel, Alex Trebek, Tori Wilson, Pat Sajak, Banjo Kazzooie, Twisted Metal 4, Doink the Clown, Pamela Anderson Lee, Tommy Lee, Alyssa Milano, Wendy Bray,Beth Hash, Ice Cube, Ice Tea, Vanilla Ice, M.C. Hammer, Villanos 1 through 42, Lenny Lane, Lodi, Tommy Orion, Billy Sadler, Benjamin Nyetanyahoo, Lolita Davidovich, Carnie Wilson, Indiana Jones, Han Solo, Luke Skywalker, James T. Kirk, Pubic hair spong, Barney the dinosaur, Big Bird, Snuffallunfagus, Will Smith, Tupac, Puff daddy, Pistacios Nuts, Mr. Peanut, Mr. T, Mr. Belding, Tweek and Craig, Zakk Wylde, Zack Morris, A.C. Slater, Kelly Capowski, Lisa Turtle, Screech, Jesse Spano, Carlos Santana, Wendy Bray, James Hettfield, Lars Ulrich, Kirk Hammet, Jason Newsted, Ralph Lauren, Ralph, Ronald Reagan, Jimmy Carter, George Bush, George Thorogood, David Arquette, Mariah Carey's Tits and Ass, The girl from Disc Jockey with perfect Tits and Ass, The all around hot girl from Sunglass Hut, The woman in Leopard Skin selling copper, The dudes that sell hoods, Tommmy Dreamer, all the guys at Nascar HQ, Tree Hugging Hippie Store, Dip N Dots, KISS dude at Spencers, Carie Worley, David at Kay Bee, Mindboggle, Silent Scope, Tyler Winkler, Henry Winkler, The Fonz, Jonie and Chachie, Richie Cunningham, Scott Bayo, Mel Saunders, Dustin Hoffman, Jack Nickelson, Hal Sparks, Mel Gibson, Bruce Willis, Chuck Norris, Tom Arnold, Walker,Texas Ranger, Randy Rhoads, Suzzanne Somers, Tom Selleck, Magnum P.I., Bert Reynolds, The cast of Riptide, Captain Winkie, Ben Folds Five, Steve Bushemi, Quentin Tarantino, Harvey Kytel, Penis pistol from duck til dawn, Mark Callaway, Salma Hayek, Jennifer Lopez, Daisey Fuetes, CATHERINE-ZETA-JONES, JENNY McCARTHY, Dennis Rodman, CARMAN ELECTRA, Denise Richards, Terri Runnels, Tori, Debra, Ivory, Chyna, Rena Mero, The chick with Black hair that was perfect, chick from Ames, Wendy Bray, Grace Slick, Jefferson Airplane, Clarence "the Fire Breathing Negro", Trojan Man, Julius Ceasar, CALIGULA, Stanley Kubrick, Oliver Stone, JFK, Jackie O, Steven Spielberg, Rob Sneider, George Lucas, Jeremy McGrath, Tony Hawk, Nick, Ryan, Roby and Tyler, Jergens Lotion, Hugo Boss, Squave, 12 dollar shampoo, Dave's Brush, David loves Miss Congeniality, David Horowitz...The Jew! He likes to watch us masterbate and he goes: "Splat splooo slooop" all over us, Rico Squave, Mitch Headberg, Lewis Black, THE ROCK, The girl who wouldn't have gone to college if it weren't for her horse, Steve Austin, Hacksaw Jim Duggan, Shane Douglas, Steve Corino, Hewlett Packard, Bill Gates, Jack Victory, ROADKILL, Danny Doring, Electra, DAWN MARIE, Justin Credible, Lance Storm: From Calgary...Alberta, Canada, Vito Lagrassi, Mulletts all over the globe, Little Guido, BIG SAL E. GRAZIANO, Tracy Smothers, Make-out fest 1986, Jerry Lynn, Spike Dudley, Mike Awesome, Masato Tanaka, Masahiro Chono, Yoshihiro Tajiri, The Great Muta, g Fresh, INDIANS from CANNIBAL THE MUSICAL, ALFRED PACKER, Juan Swartz, SCHWAN, Humphries, Trey Parker, Matt Stone, Meatloaf, Barbara Streisand, Dale Earnhardt,George Carlin, Jose Canseco, Cream Boxed Sets, THAT LOVELY, LOVELY POETRY BOOK, and of course, PROVIDENCE!Merry Christmas to:





Richard Donald Underwood III
UNCLE David Setliff! ( The accountant )
Jessyca Hope Blankenship
Melissa, Eve, Foster, Brandi, Travis Ray Cole, Wes, The bartender's Ass, Christina, Terry, Culver,Mick Foley, Scruggs, Meachum, Shott, Stonestreet, WENDY BRAY, Burgess, Christen Carper, Jodi Taylor, Elisha Cuppett, Stephanie Fowler, Amanda Cochran, Charles Bently, John Henson, Chris and Beth Henry, Mr. Godfrey, Mr. Bourne, Mr. Hankey, Kenny, Kyle, Cartman, Stan, Beavis, Butt-head, Bo Duke, Luke Duke, Daisy, Uncle Jessie, Rosco P. Colet,rain, Boss Hogg, The 1988 Oakland A's, Droz, Jesus, Satan, Enus, Christopher Walken, Keith Richards, Eric Clapton, Ginger Baker, Jack Bruce, Jeff Beck, Jimmy Page, Joe F. Perry, DMX, ODB, Ja-Rule, Paul Stanley, Gene Simmons, Peter Criss, ACE FREHLEY, Bruce Kulick, Vinnie Vincent, Eric Carr, Eric Singer, Jessica Comer, Barry Dillon, Bigger Thomas, Jared Barker, Shawn Michaels, Jericho, SABU, RVD, Brandy Bagar, Paige Mustard, BROOKE BOURNE, Matthew Wooten, Lala Wooten, James Richard Wooten, Tammy Underwood, Richard Underwood Jr., T-Bone, Cooter, Effie Epperson, Bob Epperson, the one armed guy who hangs around downtown, Thomas J. Whitmore, Bruce Raven, Wedny Bray,Drake Calloway, Stephanie Ballargin (?), Pete, the guys at Anheiser-Busch, Jack Daniels, Jim Bean, Joel "whether at home or here in Dayton the women are watchin me and maturbatin" Gertner, Cyrus, Joey Styles, Anthony Perdue, Spyder Crowley, Johnny Blast, Ward and June, Brian Logan, Joey Morton, Jared Rottenberry, J.D. Rottenberry, Grandmasta Sexxy, Scotty Too Hotty, Danny Cameron, Heather Lyons, Jamie Hypes, Leah Hypes, Michael Williams, Brandon Williams, Last year's French chick, This years french chick, Kelly Howell, Jessica Stamper, Hannah Stamper, Ryan Stamper, Jeff Burnopp, Caressa Barton, her older sister who was cool, Sarah Kinder, Sarah Stevenson, Stephanie Walk, Steve Matthews, Thomas White, Arron Combs, Ben and Jerry, Daniel Mounts, the guy who "raped" Elisha Cuppett, Shannon Stewart, Mike Haddox, the Puppies, Ulysses, GENERAL LEE, KIT, David Hasslehoff, Jan Micheal Vincent, The guy in teh cartoon who turned into his car, the smurfs, the FRAGGLEs, Wendy Bray, Mario and Luigi, Sonic the Hedgehog, Walt Disney's cremated body, Pricess Di (in hell), JFK Jr., Hitler, Musolini, Castro, My Dad's French chick, Bret Hart, Owen Hart, Mike Meyers, Austin Powers, Wayne Cambell, Andy Kaufman, Tony Clifton, Ladka, Jerry "the King" Lawler, The cast of MTV'S "The State", Beth Littleford, Jon Stewart, Mo Rocca, Vance Degeneres, Steve Cobert, Jimmy Kimel, Ben Stein, Adam Corolla, Bill Clinton, His cock, Monica Lewinsky, Linda Tripp, Stephanie Flowers, Paula Jones, Tonya Harding, Nancy Kerrigan, Jeff Goloulee, Lou E. Dnagerously, Tom Petty, Mandy Moore, Britanny Spears, Christina Agulera, Backstreet Boys, N'SYNC, 98 Degrees, 3 count, Fozzy Osbourne, Ozzy Osbourne, Ozzie Osborune, Rob Zombie, Phil Anselmo, Dimebag Darrel, Vinnie Paul, Rex, Waylon Jennings, Wille Nelson, Johnny Cash, Kris Kristopherson, Yoko Ono, Fred Durst, The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, CREAM, Aerosmith, KISS, 80's KISS, Reunited KISS, Wendy bray,Flotsam and Jetsom, Metallica, Metallica w/out Cliff, AC/DC, Motley Crue, Poison, Unskinny Rose, C.C. Deville, Ford Motor COmpany, Steve Mother-fucking Polychronopolous, Adam Sandler, the Chrysler Corp, Every 1969 Dodge Chager every built (particulalry ones painted orange), Oldmobiles, Geos, Breyers Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream, Nicole Johnson, Nicole Perry, Nicole Thompson, Nicole Artrip, Nicole Sullivan, Nicole Baurer,
Nicole-(ous) Cage, Danny Bonaducci, Leif Garret, Donny Osmond, Marie Osmond, Tommy Hilfigger, Wendy Bray,FUBU, Levi, Lee, Wendy's resturaunt chain, niggers everywhere, all the fags, Jews, spics, chinks, japs, honkies, wetbacks, Nazi's, The Axis Powers, No Doubt, Sean Gurtis, Bush, Silverchair, Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Pearl Necklace, Pearl Drums, Pearl S. Buck, Pearly Bowman, Eric Estrada, Every car every blown up on TV or in a cool movie, Arnold Shwartzenager, That skinny bitch off Dateline he's married to, Jane Pauley, Stone Phillips, Tom Brokaw, Dan Rather, Peter Jennings, My insanlely large cock, Bryant Gumball, Katie Kouric, Willard Scott, Al Roker, Matt Lauer, Ronald McDonald, Grimmace, the Hamburgler, Birdie, Mayor McCheese, Bogey, Pammy, Rick, Scott Steiner, Drizzt Do'Urden, Elminister, the Polterguist, the Exorcist, Linda Blair, the Blair Witch, Heather Donahue, Phil Donahue, Rosie O'donnel, Oprah, Harpo Productions, Wendy Bray,Happy Madison Productions, David Spade, Dana Carvey, The 1984 Indianpolis Colts, Garth Algar, The Church Lady, Ross Perot, Micheal Ducockass,
Saddam Hussaine, Macanudo Cigars, Allsop Mousepads, Value Jet, Pan-Am flight 109 over Lockerby Scotland, George Clinton and Parlamental Funk, All the transvestites of the world, all of the transvestites removed penises, Lesbians, Jim Carrey, Ace Ventura, The Cable Guy, Fake Andy Kaufman, Rubberface, Lloyd Christmas, Fender Guitars, Gibson Guitars, Wendy Bray, Les Paul, Leo Fender, Marshall Amplifiers, Michael Jackson, Iron Maiden, Black Sabbath, Matt Glover, All the members of The Razor Blade Cult, Lloyd Bridges, Beau Bridges, Bea Arthur, Estelle Getty, Tim Allen, Abe Lincoln, The hot version of Sigourney Weaver, Al Snow, Al Gets, Al Yankovic, Allen Thick, Dick Clark, Andy Rooney, Andy Rickter, Conan O'Brien, Roger Anderson, Frank Parker, Tori Amos, Jewel, Alex Trebek, Tori Wilson, Pat Sajak, Banjo Kazzooie, Twisted Metal 4, Doink the Clown, Pamela Anderson Lee, Tommy Lee, Alyssa Milano, Wendy Bray,Beth Hash, Ice Cube, Ice Tea, Vanilla Ice, M.C. Hammer, Villanos 1 through 42, Lenny Lane, Lodi, Tommy Orion, Billy Sadler, Benjamin Nyetanyahoo, Lolita Davidovich, Carnie Wilson, Indiana Jones, Han Solo, Luke Skywalker, James T. Kirk, Pubic hair spong, Barney the dinosaur, Big Bird, Snuffallunfagus, Will Smith, Tupac, Puff daddy, Pistacios Nuts, Mr. Peanut, Mr. T, Mr. Belding, Tweek and Craig, Zakk Wylde, Zack Morris, A.C. Slater, Kelly Capowski, Lisa Turtle, Screech, Jesse Spano, Carlos Santana, Wendy Bray, James Hettfield, Lars Ulrich, Kirk Hammet, Jason Newsted, Ralph Lauren, Ralph, Ronald Reagan, Jimmy Carter, George Bush, George Thorogood, David Arquette, Mariah Carey's Tits and Ass, The girl from Disc Jockey with perfect Tits and Ass, The all around hot girl from Sunglass Hut, The woman in Leopard Skin selling copper, The dudes that sell hoods, Tommmy Dreamer, all the guys at Nascar HQ, Tree Hugging Hippie Store, Dip N Dots, KISS dude at Spencers, Carie Worley, David at Kay Bee, Mindboggle, Silent Scope, Tyler Winkler, Henry Winkler, The Fonz, Jonie and Chachie, Richie Cunningham, Scott Bayo, Mel Saunders, Dustin Hoffman, Jack Nickelson, Hal Sparks, Mel Gibson, Bruce Willis, Chuck Norris, Tom Arnold, Walker,Texas Ranger, Randy Rhoads, Suzzanne Somers, Tom Selleck, Magnum P.I., Bert Reynolds, The cast of Riptide, Captain Winkie, Ben Folds Five, Steve Bushemi, Quentin Tarantino, Harvey Kytel, Penis pistol from duck til dawn, Mark Callaway, Salma Hayek, Jennifer Lopez, Daisey Fuetes, CATHERINE-ZETA-JONES, JENNY McCARTHY, Dennis Rodman, CARMAN ELECTRA, Denise Richards, Terri Runnels, Tori, Debra, Ivory, Chyna, Rena Mero, The chick with Black hair that was perfect, chick from Ames, Wendy Bray, Grace Slick, Jefferson Airplane, Clarence "the Fire Breathing Negro", Trojan Man, Julius Ceasar, CALIGULA, Stanley Kubrick, Oliver Stone, JFK, Jackie O, Steven Spielberg, Rob Sneider, George Lucas, Jeremy McGrath, Tony Hawk, Nick, Ryan, Roby and Tyler, Jergens Lotion, Hugo Boss, Squave, 12 dollar shampoo, Dave's Brush, David loves Miss Congeniality, David Horowitz...The Jew! He likes to watch us masterbate and he goes: "Splat splooo slooop" all over us, Rico Squave, Mitch Headberg, Lewis Black, THE ROCK, The girl who wouldn't have gone to college if it weren't for her horse, Steve Austin, Hacksaw Jim Duggan, Shane Douglas, Steve Corino, Hewlett Packard, Bill Gates, Jack Victory, ROADKILL, Danny Doring, Electra, DAWN MARIE, Justin Credible, Lance Storm: From Calgary...Alberta, Canada, Vito Lagrassi, Mulletts all over the globe, Little Guido, BIG SAL E. GRAZIANO, Tracy Smothers, Make-out fest 1986, Jerry Lynn, Spike Dudley, Mike Awesome, Masato Tanaka, Masahiro Chono, Yoshihiro Tajiri, The Great Muta, g Fresh, INDIANS from CANNIBAL THE MUSICAL, ALFRED PACKER, Juan Swartz, SCHWAN, Humphries, Trey Parker, Matt Stone, Meatloaf, Barbara Streisand, Dale Earnhardt,George Carlin, Jose Canseco, Cream Boxed Sets, THAT LOVELY, LOVELY POETRY BOOK, and of course, PROVIDENCE!
Merry Christmas to:





Richard Donald Underwood III
UNCLE David Setliff! ( The accountant )
Jessyca Hope Blankenship
Melissa, Eve, Foster, Brandi, Travis Ray Cole, Wes, The bartender's Ass, Christina, Terry, Culver,Mick Foley, Scruggs, Meachum, Shott, Stonestreet, WENDY BRAY, Burgess, Christen Carper, Jodi Taylor, Elisha Cuppett, Stephanie Fowler, Amanda Cochran, Charles Bently, John Henson, Chris and Beth Henry, Mr. Godfrey, Mr. Bourne, Mr. Hankey, Kenny, Kyle, Cartman, Stan, Beavis, Butt-head, Bo Duke, Luke Duke, Daisy, Uncle Jessie, Rosco P. Colet,rain, Boss Hogg, The 1988 Oakland A's, Droz, Jesus, Satan, Enus, Christopher Walken, Keith Richards, Eric Clapton, Ginger Baker, Jack Bruce, Jeff Beck, Jimmy Page, Joe F. Perry, DMX, ODB, Ja-Rule, Paul Stanley, Gene Simmons, Peter Criss, ACE FREHLEY, Bruce Kulick, Vinnie Vincent, Eric Carr, Eric Singer, Jessica Comer, Barry Dillon, Bigger Thomas, Jared Barker, Shawn Michaels, Jericho, SABU, RVD, Brandy Bagar, Paige Mustard, BROOKE BOURNE, Matthew Wooten, Lala Wooten, James Richard Wooten, Tammy Underwood, Richard Underwood Jr., T-Bone, Cooter, Effie Epperson, Bob Epperson, the one armed guy who hangs around downtown, Thomas J. Whitmore, Bruce Raven, Wedny Bray,Drake Calloway, Stephanie Ballargin (?), Pete, the guys at Anheiser-Busch, Jack Daniels, Jim Bean, Joel "whether at home or here in Dayton the women are watchin me and maturbatin" Gertner, Cyrus, Joey Styles, Anthony Perdue, Spyder Crowley, Johnny Blast, Ward and June, Brian Logan, Joey Morton, Jared Rottenberry, J.D. Rottenberry, Grandmasta Sexxy, Scotty Too Hotty, Danny Cameron, Heather Lyons, Jamie Hypes, Leah Hypes, Michael Williams, Brandon Williams, Last year's French chick, This years french chick, Kelly Howell, Jessica Stamper, Hannah Stamper, Ryan Stamper, Jeff Burnopp, Caressa Barton, her older sister who was cool, Sarah Kinder, Sarah Stevenson, Stephanie Walk, Steve Matthews, Thomas White, Arron Combs, Ben and Jerry, Daniel Mounts, the guy who "raped" Elisha Cuppett, Shannon Stewart, Mike Haddox, the Puppies, Ulysses, GENERAL LEE, KIT, David Hasslehoff, Jan Micheal Vincent, The guy in teh cartoon who turned into his car, the smurfs, the FRAGGLEs, Wendy Bray, Mario and Luigi, Sonic the Hedgehog, Walt Disney's cremated body, Pricess Di (in hell), JFK Jr., Hitler, Musolini, Castro, My Dad's French chick, Bret Hart, Owen Hart, Mike Meyers, Austin Powers, Wayne Cambell, Andy Kaufman, Tony Clifton, Ladka, Jerry "the King" Lawler, The cast of MTV'S "The State", Beth Littleford, Jon Stewart, Mo Rocca, Vance Degeneres, Steve Cobert, Jimmy Kimel, Ben Stein, Adam Corolla, Bill Clinton, His cock, Monica Lewinsky, Linda Tripp, Stephanie Flowers, Paula Jones, Tonya Harding, Nancy Kerrigan, Jeff Goloulee, Lou E. Dnagerously, Tom Petty, Mandy Moore, Britanny Spears, Christina Agulera, Backstreet Boys, N'SYNC, 98 Degrees, 3 count, Fozzy Osbourne, Ozzy Osbourne, Ozzie Osborune, Rob Zombie, Phil Anselmo, Dimebag Darrel, Vinnie Paul, Rex, Waylon Jennings, Wille Nelson, Johnny Cash, Kris Kristopherson, Yoko Ono, Fred Durst, The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, CREAM, Aerosmith, KISS, 80's KISS, Reunited KISS, Wendy bray,Flotsam and Jetsom, Metallica, Metallica w/out Cliff, AC/DC, Motley Crue, Poison, Unskinny Rose, C.C. Deville, Ford Motor COmpany, Steve Mother-fucking Polychronopolous, Adam Sandler, the Chrysler Corp, Every 1969 Dodge Chager every built (particulalry ones painted orange), Oldmobiles, Geos, Breyers Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream, Nicole Johnson, Nicole Perry, Nicole Thompson, Nicole Artrip, Nicole Sullivan, Nicole Baurer,
Nicole-(ous) Cage, Danny Bonaducci, Leif Garret, Donny Osmond, Marie Osmond, Tommy Hilfigger, Wendy Bray,FUBU, Levi, Lee, Wendy's resturaunt chain, niggers everywhere, all the fags, Jews, spics, chinks, japs, honkies, wetbacks, Nazi's, The Axis Powers, No Doubt, Sean Gurtis, Bush, Silverchair, Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Pearl Necklace, Pearl Drums, Pearl S. Buck, Pearly Bowman, Eric Estrada, Every car every blown up on TV or in a cool movie, Arnold Shwartzenager, That skinny bitch off Dateline he's married to, Jane Pauley, Stone Phillips, Tom Brokaw, Dan Rather, Peter Jennings, My insanlely large cock, Bryant Gumball, Katie Kouric, Willard Scott, Al Roker, Matt Lauer, Ronald McDonald, Grimmace, the Hamburgler, Birdie, Mayor McCheese, Bogey, Pammy, Rick, Scott Steiner, Drizzt Do'Urden, Elminister, the Polterguist, the Exorcist, Linda Blair, the Blair Witch, Heather Donahue, Phil Donahue, Rosie O'donnel, Oprah, Harpo Productions, Wendy Bray,Happy Madison Productions, David Spade, Dana Carvey, The 1984 Indianpolis Colts, Garth Algar, The Church Lady, Ross Perot, Micheal Ducockass,
Saddam Hussaine, Macanudo Cigars, Allsop Mousepads, Value Jet, Pan-Am flight 109 over Lockerby Scotland, George Clinton and Parlamental Funk, All the transvestites of the world, all of the transvestites removed penises, Lesbians, Jim Carrey, Ace Ventura, The Cable Guy, Fake Andy Kaufman, Rubberface, Lloyd Christmas, Fender Guitars, Gibson Guitars, Wendy Bray, Les Paul, Leo Fender, Marshall Amplifiers, Michael Jackson, Iron Maiden, Black Sabbath, Matt Glover, All the members of The Razor Blade Cult, Lloyd Bridges, Beau Bridges, Bea Arthur, Estelle Getty, Tim Allen, Abe Lincoln, The hot version of Sigourney Weaver, Al Snow, Al Gets, Al Yankovic, Allen Thick, Dick Clark, Andy Rooney, Andy Rickter, Conan O'Brien, Roger Anderson, Frank Parker, Tori Amos, Jewel, Alex Trebek, Tori Wilson, Pat Sajak, Banjo Kazzooie, Twisted Metal 4, Doink the Clown, Pamela Anderson Lee, Tommy Lee, Alyssa Milano, Wendy Bray,Beth Hash, Ice Cube, Ice Tea, Vanilla Ice, M.C. Hammer, Villanos 1 through 42, Lenny Lane, Lodi, Tommy Orion, Billy Sadler, Benjamin Nyetanyahoo, Lolita Davidovich, Carnie Wilson, Indiana Jones, Han Solo, Luke Skywalker, James T. Kirk, Pubic hair spong, Barney the dinosaur, Big Bird, Snuffallunfagus, Will Smith, Tupac, Puff daddy, Pistacios Nuts, Mr. Peanut, Mr. T, Mr. Belding, Tweek and Craig, Zakk Wylde, Zack Morris, A.C. Slater, Kelly Capowski, Lisa Turtle, Screech, Jesse Spano, Carlos Santana, Wendy Bray, James Hettfield, Lars Ulrich, Kirk Hammet, Jason Newsted, Ralph Lauren, Ralph, Ronald Reagan, Jimmy Carter, George Bush, George Thorogood, David Arquette, Mariah Carey's Tits and Ass, The girl from Disc Jockey with perfect Tits and Ass, The all around hot girl from Sunglass Hut, The woman in Leopard Skin selling copper, The dudes that sell hoods, Tommmy Dreamer, all the guys at Nascar HQ, Tree Hugging Hippie Store, Dip N Dots, KISS dude at Spencers, Carie Worley, David at Kay Bee, Mindboggle, Silent Scope, Tyler Winkler, Henry Winkler, The Fonz, Jonie and Chachie, Richie Cunningham, Scott Bayo, Mel Saunders, Dustin Hoffman, Jack Nickelson, Hal Sparks, Mel Gibson, Bruce Willis, Chuck Norris, Tom Arnold, Walker,Texas Ranger, Randy Rhoads, Suzzanne Somers, Tom Selleck, Magnum P.I., Bert Reynolds, The cast of Riptide, Captain Winkie, Ben Folds Five, Steve Bushemi, Quentin Tarantino, Harvey Kytel, Penis pistol from duck til dawn, Mark Callaway, Salma Hayek, Jennifer Lopez, Daisey Fuetes, CATHERINE-ZETA-JONES, JENNY McCARTHY, Dennis Rodman, CARMAN ELECTRA, Denise Richards, Terri Runnels, Tori, Debra, Ivory, Chyna, Rena Mero, The chick with Black hair that was perfect, chick from Ames, Wendy Bray, Grace Slick, Jefferson Airplane, Clarence "the Fire Breathing Negro", Trojan Man, Julius Ceasar, CALIGULA, Stanley Kubrick, Oliver Stone, JFK, Jackie O, Steven Spielberg, Rob Sneider, George Lucas, Jeremy McGrath, Tony Hawk, Nick, Ryan, Roby and Tyler, Jergens Lotion, Hugo Boss, Squave, 12 dollar shampoo, Dave's Brush, David loves Miss Congeniality, David Horowitz...The Jew! He likes to watch us masterbate and he goes: "Splat splooo slooop" all over us, Rico Squave, Mitch Headberg, Lewis Black, THE ROCK, The girl who wouldn't have gone to college if it weren't for her horse, Steve Austin, Hacksaw Jim Duggan, Shane Douglas, Steve Corino, Hewlett Packard, Bill Gates, Jack Victory, ROADKILL, Danny Doring, Electra, DAWN MARIE, Justin Credible, Lance Storm: From Calgary...Alberta, Canada, Vito Lagrassi, Mulletts all over the globe, Little Guido, BIG SAL E. GRAZIANO, Tracy Smothers, Make-out fest 1986, Jerry Lynn, Spike Dudley, Mike Awesome, Masato Tanaka, Masahiro Chono, Yoshihiro Tajiri, The Great Muta, g Fresh, INDIANS from CANNIBAL THE MUSICAL, ALFRED PACKER, Juan Swartz, SCHWAN, Humphries, Trey Parker, Matt Stone, Meatloaf, Barbara Streisand, Dale Earnhardt,George Carlin, Jose Canseco, Cream Boxed Sets, THAT LOVELY, LOVELY POETRY BOOK, and of course, PROVIDENCE!
Merry Christmas to:





Richard Donald Underwood III
UNCLE David Setliff! ( The accountant )
Jessyca Hope Blankenship
Melissa, Eve, Foster, Brandi, Travis Ray Cole, Wes, The bartender's Ass, Christina, Terry, Culver,Mick Foley, Scruggs, Meachum, Shott, Stonestreet, WENDY BRAY, Burgess, Christen Carper, Jodi Taylor, Elisha Cuppett, Stephanie Fowler, Amanda Cochran, Charles Bently, John Henson, Chris and Beth Henry, Mr. Godfrey, Mr. Bourne, Mr. Hankey, Kenny, Kyle, Cartman, Stan, Beavis, Butt-head, Bo Duke, Luke Duke, Daisy, Uncle Jessie, Rosco P. Colet,rain, Boss Hogg, The 1988 Oakland A's, Droz, Jesus, Satan, Enus, Christopher Walken, Keith Richards, Eric Clapton, Ginger Baker, Jack Bruce, Jeff Beck, Jimmy Page, Joe F. Perry, DMX, ODB, Ja-Rule, Paul Stanley, Gene Simmons, Peter Criss, ACE FREHLEY, Bruce Kulick, Vinnie Vincent, Eric Carr, Eric Singer, Jessica Comer, Barry Dillon, Bigger Thomas, Jared Barker, Shawn Michaels, Jericho, SABU, RVD, Brandy Bagar, Paige Mustard, BROOKE BOURNE, Matthew Wooten, Lala Wooten, James Richard Wooten, Tammy Underwood, Richard Underwood Jr., T-Bone, Cooter, Effie Epperson, Bob Epperson, the one armed guy who hangs around downtown, Thomas J. Whitmore, Bruce Raven, Wedny Bray,Drake Calloway, Stephanie Ballargin (?), Pete, the guys at Anheiser-Busch, Jack Daniels, Jim Bean, Joel "whether at home or here in Dayton the women are watchin me and maturbatin" Gertner, Cyrus, Joey Styles, Anthony Perdue, Spyder Crowley, Johnny Blast, Ward and June, Brian Logan, Joey Morton, Jared Rottenberry, J.D. Rottenberry, Grandmasta Sexxy, Scotty Too Hotty, Danny Cameron, Heather Lyons, Jamie Hypes, Leah Hypes, Michael Williams, Brandon Williams, Last year's French chick, This years french chick, Kelly Howell, Jessica Stamper, Hannah Stamper, Ryan Stamper, Jeff Burnopp, Caressa Barton, her older sister who was cool, Sarah Kinder, Sarah Stevenson, Stephanie Walk, Steve Matthews, Thomas White, Arron Combs, Ben and Jerry, Daniel Mounts, the guy who "raped" Elisha Cuppett, Shannon Stewart, Mike Haddox, the Puppies, Ulysses, GENERAL LEE, KIT, David Hasslehoff, Jan Micheal Vincent, The guy in teh cartoon who turned into his car, the smurfs, the FRAGGLEs, Wendy Bray, Mario and Luigi, Sonic the Hedgehog, Walt Disney's cremated body, Pricess Di (in hell), JFK Jr., Hitler, Musolini, Castro, My Dad's French chick, Bret Hart, Owen Hart, Mike Meyers, Austin Powers, Wayne Cambell, Andy Kaufman, Tony Clifton, Ladka, Jerry "the King" Lawler, The cast of MTV'S "The State", Beth Littleford, Jon Stewart, Mo Rocca, Vance Degeneres, Steve Cobert, Jimmy Kimel, Ben Stein, Adam Corolla, Bill Clinton, His cock, Monica Lewinsky, Linda Tripp, Stephanie Flowers, Paula Jones, Tonya Harding, Nancy Kerrigan, Jeff Goloulee, Lou E. Dnagerously, Tom Petty, Mandy Moore, Britanny Spears, Christina Agulera, Backstreet Boys, N'SYNC, 98 Degrees, 3 count, Fozzy Osbourne, Ozzy Osbourne, Ozzie Osborune, Rob Zombie, Phil Anselmo, Dimebag Darrel, Vinnie Paul, Rex, Waylon Jennings, Wille Nelson, Johnny Cash, Kris Kristopherson, Yoko Ono, Fred Durst, The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, CREAM, Aerosmith, KISS, 80's KISS, Reunited KISS, Wendy bray,Flotsam and Jetsom, Metallica, Metallica w/out Cliff, AC/DC, Motley Crue, Poison, Unskinny Rose, C.C. Deville, Ford Motor COmpany, Steve Mother-fucking Polychronopolous, Adam Sandler, the Chrysler Corp, Every 1969 Dodge Chager every built (particulalry ones painted orange), Oldmobiles, Geos, Breyers Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream, Nicole Johnson, Nicole Perry, Nicole Thompson, Nicole Artrip, Nicole Sullivan, Nicole Baurer,
Nicole-(ous) Cage, Danny Bonaducci, Leif Garret, Donny Osmond, Marie Osmond, Tommy Hilfigger, Wendy Bray,FUBU, Levi, Lee, Wendy's resturaunt chain, niggers everywhere, all the fags, Jews, spics, chinks, japs, honkies, wetbacks, Nazi's, The Axis Powers, No Doubt, Sean Gurtis, Bush, Silverchair, Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Pearl Necklace, Pearl Drums, Pearl S. Buck, Pearly Bowman, Eric Estrada, Every car every blown up on TV or in a cool movie, Arnold Shwartzenager, That skinny bitch off Dateline he's married to, Jane Pauley, Stone Phillips, Tom Brokaw, Dan Rather, Peter Jennings, My insanlely large cock, Bryant Gumball, Katie Kouric, Willard Scott, Al Roker, Matt Lauer, Ronald McDonald, Grimmace, the Hamburgler, Birdie, Mayor McCheese, Bogey, Pammy, Rick, Scott Steiner, Drizzt Do'Urden, Elminister, the Polterguist, the Exorcist, Linda Blair, the Blair Witch, Heather Donahue, Phil Donahue, Rosie O'donnel, Oprah, Harpo Productions, Wendy Bray,Happy Madison Productions, David Spade, Dana Carvey, The 1984 Indianpolis Colts, Garth Algar, The Church Lady, Ross Perot, Micheal Ducockass,
Saddam Hussaine, Macanudo Cigars, Allsop Mousepads, Value Jet, Pan-Am flight 109 over Lockerby Scotland, George Clinton and Parlamental Funk, All the transvestites of the world, all of the transvestites removed penises, Lesbians, Jim Carrey, Ace Ventura, The Cable Guy, Fake Andy Kaufman, Rubberface, Lloyd Christmas, Fender Guitars, Gibson Guitars, Wendy Bray, Les Paul, Leo Fender, Marshall Amplifiers, Michael Jackson, Iron Maiden, Black Sabbath, Matt Glover, All the members of The Razor Blade Cult, Lloyd Bridges, Beau Bridges, Bea Arthur, Estelle Getty, Tim Allen, Abe Lincoln, The hot version of Sigourney Weaver, Al Snow, Al Gets, Al Yankovic, Allen Thick, Dick Clark, Andy Rooney, Andy Rickter, Conan O'Brien, Roger Anderson, Frank Parker, Tori Amos, Jewel, Alex Trebek, Tori Wilson, Pat Sajak, Banjo Kazzooie, Twisted Metal 4, Doink the Clown, Pamela Anderson Lee, Tommy Lee, Alyssa Milano, Wendy Bray,Beth Hash, Ice Cube, Ice Tea, Vanilla Ice, M.C. Hammer, Villanos 1 through 42, Lenny Lane, Lodi, Tommy Orion, Billy Sadler, Benjamin Nyetanyahoo, Lolita Davidovich, Carnie Wilson, Indiana Jones, Han Solo, Luke Skywalker, James T. Kirk, Pubic hair spong, Barney the dinosaur, Big Bird, Snuffallunfagus, Will Smith, Tupac, Puff daddy, Pistacios Nuts, Mr. Peanut, Mr. T, Mr. Belding, Tweek and Craig, Zakk Wylde, Zack Morris, A.C. Slater, Kelly Capowski, Lisa Turtle, Screech, Jesse Spano, Carlos Santana, Wendy Bray, James Hettfield, Lars Ulrich, Kirk Hammet, Jason Newsted, Ralph Lauren, Ralph, Ronald Reagan, Jimmy Carter, George Bush, George Thorogood, David Arquette, Mariah Carey's Tits and Ass, The girl from Disc Jockey with perfect Tits and Ass, The all around hot girl from Sunglass Hut, The woman in Leopard Skin selling copper, The dudes that sell hoods, Tommmy Dreamer, all the guys at Nascar HQ, Tree Hugging Hippie Store, Dip N Dots, KISS dude at Spencers, Carie Worley, David at Kay Bee, Mindboggle, Silent Scope, Tyler Winkler, Henry Winkler, The Fonz, Jonie and Chachie, Richie Cunningham, Scott Bayo, Mel Saunders, Dustin Hoffman, Jack Nickelson, Hal Sparks, Mel Gibson, Bruce Willis, Chuck Norris, Tom Arnold, Walker,Texas Ranger, Randy Rhoads, Suzzanne Somers, Tom Selleck, Magnum P.I., Bert Reynolds, The cast of Riptide, Captain Winkie, Ben Folds Five, Steve Bushemi, Quentin Tarantino, Harvey Kytel, Penis pistol from duck til dawn, Mark Callaway, Salma Hayek, Jennifer Lopez, Daisey Fuetes, CATHERINE-ZETA-JONES, JENNY McCARTHY, Dennis Rodman, CARMAN ELECTRA, Denise Richards, Terri Runnels, Tori, Debra, Ivory, Chyna, Rena Mero, The chick with Black hair that was perfect, chick from Ames, Wendy Bray, Grace Slick, Jefferson Airplane, Clarence "the Fire Breathing Negro", Trojan Man, Julius Ceasar, CALIGULA, Stanley Kubrick, Oliver Stone, JFK, Jackie O, Steven Spielberg, Rob Sneider, George Lucas, Jeremy McGrath, Tony Hawk, Nick, Ryan, Roby and Tyler, Jergens Lotion, Hugo Boss, Squave, 12 dollar shampoo, Dave's Brush, David loves Miss Congeniality, David Horowitz...The Jew! He likes to watch us masterbate and he goes: "Splat splooo slooop" all over us, Rico Squave, Mitch Headberg, Lewis Black, THE ROCK, The girl who wouldn't have gone to college if it weren't for her horse, Steve Austin, Hacksaw Jim Duggan, Shane Douglas, Steve Corino, Hewlett Packard, Bill Gates, Jack Victory, ROADKILL, Danny Doring, Electra, DAWN MARIE, Justin Credible, Lance Storm: From Calgary...Alberta, Canada, Vito Lagrassi, Mulletts all over the globe, Little Guido, BIG SAL E. GRAZIANO, Tracy Smothers, Make-out fest 1986, Jerry Lynn, Spike Dudley, Mike Awesome, Masato Tanaka, Masahiro Chono, Yoshihiro Tajiri, The Great Muta, g Fresh, INDIANS from CANNIBAL THE MUSICAL, ALFRED PACKER, Juan Swartz, SCHWAN, Humphries, Trey Parker, Matt Stone, Meatloaf, Barbara Streisand, Dale Earnhardt,George Carlin, Jose Canseco, Cream Boxed Sets, THAT LOVELY, LOVELY POETRY BOOK, and of course, PROVIDENCE!


Poopy McGee
- Saturday, December 25, 1999 at 01:05:22 (PST)


Merry Christmas to:





Richard Donald Underwood III
UNCLE David Setliff! ( The accountant )
Jessyca Hope Blankenship
Melissa, Eve, Foster, Brandi, Travis Ray Cole, Wes, The bartender's Ass, Christina, Terry, Culver,Mick Foley, Scruggs, Meachum, Shott, Stonestreet, WENDY BRAY, Burgess, Christen Carper, Jodi Taylor, Elisha Cuppett, Stephanie Fowler, Amanda Cochran, Charles Bently, John Henson, Chris and Beth Henry, Mr. Godfrey, Mr. Bourne, Mr. Hankey, Kenny, Kyle, Cartman, Stan, Beavis, Butt-head, Bo Duke, Luke Duke, Daisy, Uncle Jessie, Rosco P. Colet,rain, Boss Hogg, The 1988 Oakland A's, Droz, Jesus, Satan, Enus, Christopher Walken, Keith Richards, Eric Clapton, Ginger Baker, Jack Bruce, Jeff Beck, Jimmy Page, Joe F. Perry, DMX, ODB, Ja-Rule, Paul Stanley, Gene Simmons, Peter Criss, ACE FREHLEY, Bruce Kulick, Vinnie Vincent, Eric Carr, Eric Singer, Jessica Comer, Barry Dillon, Bigger Thomas, Jared Barker, Shawn Michaels, Jericho, SABU, RVD, Brandy Bagar, Paige Mustard, BROOKE BOURNE, Matthew Wooten, Lala Wooten, James Richard Wooten, Tammy Underwood, Richard Underwood Jr., T-Bone, Cooter, Effie Epperson, Bob Epperson, the one armed guy who hangs around downtown, Thomas J. Whitmore, Bruce Raven, Wedny Bray,Drake Calloway, Stephanie Ballargin (?), Pete, the guys at Anheiser-Busch, Jack Daniels, Jim Bean, Joel "whether at home or here in Dayton the women are watchin me and maturbatin" Gertner, Cyrus, Joey Styles, Anthony Perdue, Spyder Crowley, Johnny Blast, Ward and June, Brian Logan, Joey Morton, Jared Rottenberry, J.D. Rottenberry, Grandmasta Sexxy, Scotty Too Hotty, Danny Cameron, Heather Lyons, Jamie Hypes, Leah Hypes, Michael Williams, Brandon Williams, Last year's French chick, This years french chick, Kelly Howell, Jessica Stamper, Hannah Stamper, Ryan Stamper, Jeff Burnopp, Caressa Barton, her older sister who was cool, Sarah Kinder, Sarah Stevenson, Stephanie Walk, Steve Matthews, Thomas White, Arron Combs, Ben and Jerry, Daniel Mounts, the guy who "raped" Elisha Cuppett, Shannon Stewart, Mike Haddox, the Puppies, Ulysses, GENERAL LEE, KIT, David Hasslehoff, Jan Micheal Vincent, The guy in teh cartoon who turned into his car, the smurfs, the FRAGGLEs, Wendy Bray, Mario and Luigi, Sonic the Hedgehog, Walt Disney's cremated body, Pricess Di (in hell), JFK Jr., Hitler, Musolini, Castro, My Dad's French chick, Bret Hart, Owen Hart, Mike Meyers, Austin Powers, Wayne Cambell, Andy Kaufman, Tony Clifton, Ladka, Jerry "the King" Lawler, The cast of MTV'S "The State", Beth Littleford, Jon Stewart, Mo Rocca, Vance Degeneres, Steve Cobert, Jimmy Kimel, Ben Stein, Adam Corolla, Bill Clinton, His cock, Monica Lewinsky, Linda Tripp, Stephanie Flowers, Paula Jones, Tonya Harding, Nancy Kerrigan, Jeff Goloulee, Lou E. Dnagerously, Tom Petty, Mandy Moore, Britanny Spears, Christina Agulera, Backstreet Boys, N'SYNC, 98 Degrees, 3 count, Fozzy Osbourne, Ozzy Osbourne, Ozzie Osborune, Rob Zombie, Phil Anselmo, Dimebag Darrel, Vinnie Paul, Rex, Waylon Jennings, Wille Nelson, Johnny Cash, Kris Kristopherson, Yoko Ono, Fred Durst, The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, CREAM, Aerosmith, KISS, 80's KISS, Reunited KISS, Wendy bray,Flotsam and Jetsom, Metallica, Metallica w/out Cliff, AC/DC, Motley Crue, Poison, Unskinny Rose, C.C. Deville, Ford Motor COmpany, Steve Mother-fucking Polychronopolous, Adam Sandler, the Chrysler Corp, Every 1969 Dodge Chager every built (particulalry ones painted orange), Oldmobiles, Geos, Breyers Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream, Nicole Johnson, Nicole Perry, Nicole Thompson, Nicole Artrip, Nicole Sullivan, Nicole Baurer,
Nicole-(ous) Cage, Danny Bonaducci, Leif Garret, Donny Osmond, Marie Osmond, Tommy Hilfigger, Wendy Bray,FUBU, Levi, Lee, Wendy's resturaunt chain, niggers everywhere, all the fags, Jews, spics, chinks, japs, honkies, wetbacks, Nazi's, The Axis Powers, No Doubt, Sean Gurtis, Bush, Silverchair, Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Pearl Necklace, Pearl Drums, Pearl S. Buck, Pearly Bowman, Eric Estrada, Every car every blown up on TV or in a cool movie, Arnold Shwartzenager, That skinny bitch off Dateline he's married to, Jane Pauley, Stone Phillips, Tom Brokaw, Dan Rather, Peter Jennings, My insanlely large cock, Bryant Gumball, Katie Kouric, Willard Scott, Al Roker, Matt Lauer, Ronald McDonald, Grimmace, the Hamburgler, Birdie, Mayor McCheese, Bogey, Pammy, Rick, Scott Steiner, Drizzt Do'Urden, Elminister, the Polterguist, the Exorcist, Linda Blair, the Blair Witch, Heather Donahue, Phil Donahue, Rosie O'donnel, Oprah, Harpo Productions, Wendy Bray,Happy Madison Productions, David Spade, Dana Carvey, The 1984 Indianpolis Colts, Garth Algar, The Church Lady, Ross Perot, Micheal Ducockass,
Saddam Hussaine, Macanudo Cigars, Allsop Mousepads, Value Jet, Pan-Am flight 109 over Lockerby Scotland, George Clinton and Parlamental Funk, All the transvestites of the world, all of the transvestites removed penises, Lesbians, Jim Carrey, Ace Ventura, The Cable Guy, Fake Andy Kaufman, Rubberface, Lloyd Christmas, Fender Guitars, Gibson Guitars, Wendy Bray, Les Paul, Leo Fender, Marshall Amplifiers, Michael Jackson, Iron Maiden, Black Sabbath, Matt Glover, All the members of The Razor Blade Cult, Lloyd Bridges, Beau Bridges, Bea Arthur, Estelle Getty, Tim Allen, Abe Lincoln, The hot version of Sigourney Weaver, Al Snow, Al Gets, Al Yankovic, Allen Thick, Dick Clark, Andy Rooney, Andy Rickter, Conan O'Brien, Roger Anderson, Frank Parker, Tori Amos, Jewel, Alex Trebek, Tori Wilson, Pat Sajak, Banjo Kazzooie, Twisted Metal 4, Doink the Clown, Pamela Anderson Lee, Tommy Lee, Alyssa Milano, Wendy Bray,Beth Hash, Ice Cube, Ice Tea, Vanilla Ice, M.C. Hammer, Villanos 1 through 42, Lenny Lane, Lodi, Tommy Orion, Billy Sadler, Benjamin Nyetanyahoo, Lolita Davidovich, Carnie Wilson, Indiana Jones, Han Solo, Luke Skywalker, James T. Kirk, Pubic hair spong, Barney the dinosaur, Big Bird, Snuffallunfagus, Will Smith, Tupac, Puff daddy, Pistacios Nuts, Mr. Peanut, Mr. T, Mr. Belding, Tweek and Craig, Zakk Wylde, Zack Morris, A.C. Slater, Kelly Capowski, Lisa Turtle, Screech, Jesse Spano, Carlos Santana, Wendy Bray, James Hettfield, Lars Ulrich, Kirk Hammet, Jason Newsted, Ralph Lauren, Ralph, Ronald Reagan, Jimmy Carter, George Bush, George Thorogood, David Arquette, Mariah Carey's Tits and Ass, The girl from Disc Jockey with perfect Tits and Ass, The all around hot girl from Sunglass Hut, The woman in Leopard Skin selling copper, The dudes that sell hoods, Tommmy Dreamer, all the guys at Nascar HQ, Tree Hugging Hippie Store, Dip N Dots, KISS dude at Spencers, Carie Worley, David at Kay Bee, Mindboggle, Silent Scope, Tyler Winkler, Henry Winkler, The Fonz, Jonie and Chachie, Richie Cunningham, Scott Bayo, Mel Saunders, Dustin Hoffman, Jack Nickelson, Hal Sparks, Mel Gibson, Bruce Willis, Chuck Norris, Tom Arnold, Walker,Texas Ranger, Randy Rhoads, Suzzanne Somers, Tom Selleck, Magnum P.I., Bert Reynolds, The cast of Riptide, Captain Winkie, Ben Folds Five, Steve Bushemi, Quentin Tarantino, Harvey Kytel, Penis pistol from duck til dawn, Mark Callaway, Salma Hayek, Jennifer Lopez, Daisey Fuetes, CATHERINE-ZETA-JONES, JENNY McCARTHY, Dennis Rodman, CARMAN ELECTRA, Denise Richards, Terri Runnels, Tori, Debra, Ivory, Chyna, Rena Mero, The chick with Black hair that was perfect, chick from Ames, Wendy Bray, Grace Slick, Jefferson Airplane, Clarence "the Fire Breathing Negro", Trojan Man, Julius Ceasar, CALIGULA, Stanley Kubrick, Oliver Stone, JFK, Jackie O, Steven Spielberg, Rob Sneider, George Lucas, Jeremy McGrath, Tony Hawk, Nick, Ryan, Roby and Tyler, Jergens Lotion, Hugo Boss, Squave, 12 dollar shampoo, Dave's Brush, David loves Miss Congeniality, David Horowitz...The Jew! He likes to watch us masterbate and he goes: "Splat splooo slooop" all over us, Rico Squave, Mitch Headberg, Lewis Black, THE ROCK, The girl who wouldn't have gone to college if it weren't for her horse, Steve Austin, Hacksaw Jim Duggan, Shane Douglas, Steve Corino, Hewlett Packard, Bill Gates, Jack Victory, ROADKILL, Danny Doring, Electra, DAWN MARIE, Justin Credible, Lance Storm: From Calgary...Alberta, Canada, Vito Lagrassi, Mulletts all over the globe, Little Guido, BIG SAL E. GRAZIANO, Tracy Smothers, Make-out fest 1986, Jerry Lynn, Spike Dudley, Mike Awesome, Masato Tanaka, Masahiro Chono, Yoshihiro Tajiri, The Great Muta, g Fresh, INDIANS from CANNIBAL THE MUSICAL, ALFRED PACKER, Juan Swartz, SCHWAN, Humphries, Trey Parker, Matt Stone, Meatloaf, Barbara Streisand, Dale Earnhardt,George Carlin, Jose Canseco, Cream Boxed Sets, THAT LOVELY, LOVELY POETRY BOOK, and of course, PROVIDENCE!

Elisha Cuppett
- Saturday, December 25, 1999 at 01:02:16 (PST)


Merry Christmas to:





Richard Donald Underwood III
UNCLE David Setliff! ( The accountant )
Jessyca Hope Blankenship
Melissa, Eve, Foster, Brandi, Travis Ray Cole, Wes, The bartender's Ass, Christina, Terry, Culver,Mick Foley, Scruggs, Meachum, Shott, Stonestreet, WENDY BRAY, Burgess, Christen Carper, Jodi Taylor, Elisha Cuppett, Stephanie Fowler, Amanda Cochran, Charles Bently, John Henson, Chris and Beth Henry, Mr. Godfrey, Mr. Bourne, Mr. Hankey, Kenny, Kyle, Cartman, Stan, Beavis, Butt-head, Bo Duke, Luke Duke, Daisy, Uncle Jessie, Rosco P. Colet,rain, Boss Hogg, The 1988 Oakland A's, Droz, Jesus, Satan, Enus, Christopher Walken, Keith Richards, Eric Clapton, Ginger Baker, Jack Bruce, Jeff Beck, Jimmy Page, Joe F. Perry, DMX, ODB, Ja-Rule, Paul Stanley, Gene Simmons, Peter Criss, ACE FREHLEY, Bruce Kulick, Vinnie Vincent, Eric Carr, Eric Singer, Jessica Comer, Barry Dillon, Bigger Thomas, Jared Barker, Shawn Michaels, Jericho, SABU, RVD, Brandy Bagar, Paige Mustard, BROOKE BOURNE, Matthew Wooten, Lala Wooten, James Richard Wooten, Tammy Underwood, Richard Underwood Jr., T-Bone, Cooter, Effie Epperson, Bob Epperson, the one armed guy who hangs around downtown, Thomas J. Whitmore, Bruce Raven, Wedny Bray,Drake Calloway, Stephanie Ballargin (?), Pete, the guys at Anheiser-Busch, Jack Daniels, Jim Bean, Joel "whether at home or here in Dayton the women are watchin me and maturbatin" Gertner, Cyrus, Joey Styles, Anthony Perdue, Spyder Crowley, Johnny Blast, Ward and June, Brian Logan, Joey Morton, Jared Rottenberry, J.D. Rottenberry, Grandmasta Sexxy, Scotty Too Hotty, Danny Cameron, Heather Lyons, Jamie Hypes, Leah Hypes, Michael Williams, Brandon Williams, Last year's French chick, This years french chick, Kelly Howell, Jessica Stamper, Hannah Stamper, Ryan Stamper, Jeff Burnopp, Caressa Barton, her older sister who was cool, Sarah Kinder, Sarah Stevenson, Stephanie Walk, Steve Matthews, Thomas White, Arron Combs, Ben and Jerry, Daniel Mounts, the guy who "raped" Elisha Cuppett, Shannon Stewart, Mike Haddox, the Puppies, Ulysses, GENERAL LEE, KIT, David Hasslehoff, Jan Micheal Vincent, The guy in teh cartoon who turned into his car, the smurfs, the FRAGGLEs, Wendy Bray, Mario and Luigi, Sonic the Hedgehog, Walt Disney's cremated body, Pricess Di (in hell), JFK Jr., Hitler, Musolini, Castro, My Dad's French chick, Bret Hart, Owen Hart, Mike Meyers, Austin Powers, Wayne Cambell, Andy Kaufman, Tony Clifton, Ladka, Jerry "the King" Lawler, The cast of MTV'S "The State", Beth Littleford, Jon Stewart, Mo Rocca, Vance Degeneres, Steve Cobert, Jimmy Kimel, Ben Stein, Adam Corolla, Bill Clinton, His cock, Monica Lewinsky, Linda Tripp, Stephanie Flowers, Paula Jones, Tonya Harding, Nancy Kerrigan, Jeff Goloulee, Lou E. Dnagerously, Tom Petty, Mandy Moore, Britanny Spears, Christina Agulera, Backstreet Boys, N'SYNC, 98 Degrees, 3 count, Fozzy Osbourne, Ozzy Osbourne, Ozzie Osborune, Rob Zombie, Phil Anselmo, Dimebag Darrel, Vinnie Paul, Rex, Waylon Jennings, Wille Nelson, Johnny Cash, Kris Kristopherson, Yoko Ono, Fred Durst, The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, CREAM, Aerosmith, KISS, 80's KISS, Reunited KISS, Wendy bray,Flotsam and Jetsom, Metallica, Metallica w/out Cliff, AC/DC, Motley Crue, Poison, Unskinny Rose, C.C. Deville, Ford Motor COmpany, Steve Mother-fucking Polychronopolous, Adam Sandler, the Chrysler Corp, Every 1969 Dodge Chager every built (particulalry ones painted orange), Oldmobiles, Geos, Breyers Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream, Nicole Johnson, Nicole Perry, Nicole Thompson, Nicole Artrip, Nicole Sullivan, Nicole Baurer,
Nicole-(ous) Cage, Danny Bonaducci, Leif Garret, Donny Osmond, Marie Osmond, Tommy Hilfigger, Wendy Bray,FUBU, Levi, Lee, Wendy's resturaunt chain, niggers everywhere, all the fags, Jews, spics, chinks, japs, honkies, wetbacks, Nazi's, The Axis Powers, No Doubt, Sean Gurtis, Bush, Silverchair, Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Pearl Necklace, Pearl Drums, Pearl S. Buck, Pearly Bowman, Eric Estrada, Every car every blown up on TV or in a cool movie, Arnold Shwartzenager, That skinny bitch off Dateline he's married to, Jane Pauley, Stone Phillips, Tom Brokaw, Dan Rather, Peter Jennings, My insanlely large cock, Bryant Gumball, Katie Kouric, Willard Scott, Al Roker, Matt Lauer, Ronald McDonald, Grimmace, the Hamburgler, Birdie, Mayor McCheese, Bogey, Pammy, Rick, Scott Steiner, Drizzt Do'Urden, Elminister, the Polterguist, the Exorcist, Linda Blair, the Blair Witch, Heather Donahue, Phil Donahue, Rosie O'donnel, Oprah, Harpo Productions, Wendy Bray,Happy Madison Productions, David Spade, Dana Carvey, The 1984 Indianpolis Colts, Garth Algar, The Church Lady, Ross Perot, Micheal Ducockass,
Saddam Hussaine, Macanudo Cigars, Allsop Mousepads, Value Jet, Pan-Am flight 109 over Lockerby Scotland, George Clinton and Parlamental Funk, All the transvestites of the world, all of the transvestites removed penises, Lesbians, Jim Carrey, Ace Ventura, The Cable Guy, Fake Andy Kaufman, Rubberface, Lloyd Christmas, Fender Guitars, Gibson Guitars, Wendy Bray, Les Paul, Leo Fender, Marshall Amplifiers, Michael Jackson, Iron Maiden, Black Sabbath, Matt Glover, All the members of The Razor Blade Cult, Lloyd Bridges, Beau Bridges, Bea Arthur, Estelle Getty, Tim Allen, Abe Lincoln, The hot version of Sigourney Weaver, Al Snow, Al Gets, Al Yankovic, Allen Thick, Dick Clark, Andy Rooney, Andy Rickter, Conan O'Brien, Roger Anderson, Frank Parker, Tori Amos, Jewel, Alex Trebek, Tori Wilson, Pat Sajak, Banjo Kazzooie, Twisted Metal 4, Doink the Clown, Pamela Anderson Lee, Tommy Lee, Alyssa Milano, Wendy Bray,Beth Hash, Ice Cube, Ice Tea, Vanilla Ice, M.C. Hammer, Villanos 1 through 42, Lenny Lane, Lodi, Tommy Orion, Billy Sadler, Benjamin Nyetanyahoo, Lolita Davidovich, Carnie Wilson, Indiana Jones, Han Solo, Luke Skywalker, James T. Kirk, Pubic hair spong, Barney the dinosaur, Big Bird, Snuffallunfagus, Will Smith, Tupac, Puff daddy, Pistacios Nuts, Mr. Peanut, Mr. T, Mr. Belding, Tweek and Craig, Zakk Wylde, Zack Morris, A.C. Slater, Kelly Capowski, Lisa Turtle, Screech, Jesse Spano, Carlos Santana, Wendy Bray, James Hettfield, Lars Ulrich, Kirk Hammet, Jason Newsted, Ralph Lauren, Ralph, Ronald Reagan, Jimmy Carter, George Bush, George Thorogood, David Arquette, Mariah Carey's Tits and Ass, The girl from Disc Jockey with perfect Tits and Ass, The all around hot girl from Sunglass Hut, The woman in Leopard Skin selling copper, The dudes that sell hoods, Tommmy Dreamer, all the guys at Nascar HQ, Tree Hugging Hippie Store, Dip N Dots, KISS dude at Spencers, Carie Worley, David at Kay Bee, Mindboggle, Silent Scope, Tyler Winkler, Henry Winkler, The Fonz, Jonie and Chachie, Richie Cunningham, Scott Bayo, Mel Saunders, Dustin Hoffman, Jack Nickelson, Hal Sparks, Mel Gibson, Bruce Willis, Chuck Norris, Tom Arnold, Walker,Texas Ranger, Randy Rhoads, Suzzanne Somers, Tom Selleck, Magnum P.I., Bert Reynolds, The cast of Riptide, Captain Winkie, Ben Folds Five, Steve Bushemi, Quentin Tarantino, Harvey Kytel, Penis pistol from duck til dawn, Mark Callaway, Salma Hayek, Jennifer Lopez, Daisey Fuetes, CATHERINE-ZETA-JONES, JENNY McCARTHY, Dennis Rodman, CARMAN ELECTRA, Denise Richards, Terri Runnels, Tori, Debra, Ivory, Chyna, Rena Mero, The chick with Black hair that was perfect, chick from Ames, Wendy Bray, Grace Slick, Jefferson Airplane, Clarence "the Fire Breathing Negro", Trojan Man, Julius Ceasar, CALIGULA, Stanley Kubrick, Oliver Stone, JFK, Jackie O, Steven Spielberg, Rob Sneider, George Lucas, Jeremy McGrath, Tony Hawk, Nick, Ryan, Roby and Tyler, Jergens Lotion, Hugo Boss, Squave, 12 dollar shampoo, Dave's Brush, David loves Miss Congeniality, David Horowitz...The Jew! He likes to watch us masterbate and he goes: "Splat splooo slooop" all over us, Rico Squave, Mitch Headberg, Lewis Black, THE ROCK, The girl who wouldn't have gone to college if it weren't for her horse, Steve Austin, Hacksaw Jim Duggan, Shane Douglas, Steve Corino, Hewlett Packard, Bill Gates, Jack Victory, ROADKILL, Danny Doring, Electra, DAWN MARIE, Justin Credible, Lance Storm: From Calgary...Alberta, Canada, Vito Lagrassi, Mulletts all over the globe, Little Guido, BIG SAL E. GRAZIANO, Tracy Smothers, Make-out fest 1986, Jerry Lynn, Spike Dudley, Mike Awesome, Masato Tanaka, Masahiro Chono, Yoshihiro Tajiri, The Great Muta, g Fresh, INDIANS from CANNIBAL THE MUSICAL, ALFRED PACKER, Juan Swartz, SCHWAN, Humphries, Trey Parker, Matt Stone, Meatloaf, Barbara Streisand, Dale Earnhardt,George Carlin, Jose Canseco, Cream Boxed Sets, THAT LOVELY, LOVELY POETRY BOOK, and of course, PROVIDENCE!

Tracy Lords
- Saturday, December 25, 1999 at 01:01:31 (PST)


Merry Christmas to:





Richard Donald Underwood III
UNCLE David Setliff! ( The accountant )
Jessyca Hope Blankenship
Melissa, Eve, Foster, Brandi, Travis Ray Cole, Wes, The bartender's Ass, Christina, Terry, Culver,Mick Foley, Scruggs, Meachum, Shott, Stonestreet, WENDY BRAY, Burgess, Christen Carper, Jodi Taylor, Elisha Cuppett, Stephanie Fowler, Amanda Cochran, Charles Bently, John Henson, Chris and Beth Henry, Mr. Godfrey, Mr. Bourne, Mr. Hankey, Kenny, Kyle, Cartman, Stan, Beavis, Butt-head, Bo Duke, Luke Duke, Daisy, Uncle Jessie, Rosco P. Colet,rain, Boss Hogg, The 1988 Oakland A's, Droz, Jesus, Satan, Enus, Christopher Walken, Keith Richards, Eric Clapton, Ginger Baker, Jack Bruce, Jeff Beck, Jimmy Page, Joe F. Perry, DMX, ODB, Ja-Rule, Paul Stanley, Gene Simmons, Peter Criss, ACE FREHLEY, Bruce Kulick, Vinnie Vincent, Eric Carr, Eric Singer, Jessica Comer, Barry Dillon, Bigger Thomas, Jared Barker, Shawn Michaels, Jericho, SABU, RVD, Brandy Bagar, Paige Mustard, BROOKE BOURNE, Matthew Wooten, Lala Wooten, James Richard Wooten, Tammy Underwood, Richard Underwood Jr., T-Bone, Cooter, Effie Epperson, Bob Epperson, the one armed guy who hangs around downtown, Thomas J. Whitmore, Bruce Raven, Wedny Bray,Drake Calloway, Stephanie Ballargin (?), Pete, the guys at Anheiser-Busch, Jack Daniels, Jim Bean, Joel "whether at home or here in Dayton the women are watchin me and maturbatin" Gertner, Cyrus, Joey Styles, Anthony Perdue, Spyder Crowley, Johnny Blast, Ward and June, Brian Logan, Joey Morton, Jared Rottenberry, J.D. Rottenberry, Grandmasta Sexxy, Scotty Too Hotty, Danny Cameron, Heather Lyons, Jamie Hypes, Leah Hypes, Michael Williams, Brandon Williams, Last year's French chick, This years french chick, Kelly Howell, Jessica Stamper, Hannah Stamper, Ryan Stamper, Jeff Burnopp, Caressa Barton, her older sister who was cool, Sarah Kinder, Sarah Stevenson, Stephanie Walk, Steve Matthews, Thomas White, Arron Combs, Ben and Jerry, Daniel Mounts, the guy who "raped" Elisha Cuppett, Shannon Stewart, Mike Haddox, the Puppies, Ulysses, GENERAL LEE, KIT, David Hasslehoff, Jan Micheal Vincent, The guy in teh cartoon who turned into his car, the smurfs, the FRAGGLEs, Wendy Bray, Mario and Luigi, Sonic the Hedgehog, Walt Disney's cremated body, Pricess Di (in hell), JFK Jr., Hitler, Musolini, Castro, My Dad's French chick, Bret Hart, Owen Hart, Mike Meyers, Austin Powers, Wayne Cambell, Andy Kaufman, Tony Clifton, Ladka, Jerry "the King" Lawler, The cast of MTV'S "The State", Beth Littleford, Jon Stewart, Mo Rocca, Vance Degeneres, Steve Cobert, Jimmy Kimel, Ben Stein, Adam Corolla, Bill Clinton, His cock, Monica Lewinsky, Linda Tripp, Stephanie Flowers, Paula Jones, Tonya Harding, Nancy Kerrigan, Jeff Goloulee, Lou E. Dnagerously, Tom Petty, Mandy Moore, Britanny Spears, Christina Agulera, Backstreet Boys, N'SYNC, 98 Degrees, 3 count, Fozzy Osbourne, Ozzy Osbourne, Ozzie Osborune, Rob Zombie, Phil Anselmo, Dimebag Darrel, Vinnie Paul, Rex, Waylon Jennings, Wille Nelson, Johnny Cash, Kris Kristopherson, Yoko Ono, Fred Durst, The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, CREAM, Aerosmith, KISS, 80's KISS, Reunited KISS, Wendy bray,Flotsam and Jetsom, Metallica, Metallica w/out Cliff, AC/DC, Motley Crue, Poison, Unskinny Rose, C.C. Deville, Ford Motor COmpany, Steve Mother-fucking Polychronopolous, Adam Sandler, the Chrysler Corp, Every 1969 Dodge Chager every built (particulalry ones painted orange), Oldmobiles, Geos, Breyers Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream, Nicole Johnson, Nicole Perry, Nicole Thompson, Nicole Artrip, Nicole Sullivan, Nicole Baurer,
Nicole-(ous) Cage, Danny Bonaducci, Leif Garret, Donny Osmond, Marie Osmond, Tommy Hilfigger, Wendy Bray,FUBU, Levi, Lee, Wendy's resturaunt chain, niggers everywhere, all the fags, Jews, spics, chinks, japs, honkies, wetbacks, Nazi's, The Axis Powers, No Doubt, Sean Gurtis, Bush, Silverchair, Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Pearl Necklace, Pearl Drums, Pearl S. Buck, Pearly Bowman, Eric Estrada, Every car every blown up on TV or in a cool movie, Arnold Shwartzenager, That skinny bitch off Dateline he's married to, Jane Pauley, Stone Phillips, Tom Brokaw, Dan Rather, Peter Jennings, My insanlely large cock, Bryant Gumball, Katie Kouric, Willard Scott, Al Roker, Matt Lauer, Ronald McDonald, Grimmace, the Hamburgler, Birdie, Mayor McCheese, Bogey, Pammy, Rick, Scott Steiner, Drizzt Do'Urden, Elminister, the Polterguist, the Exorcist, Linda Blair, the Blair Witch, Heather Donahue, Phil Donahue, Rosie O'donnel, Oprah, Harpo Productions, Wendy Bray,Happy Madison Productions, David Spade, Dana Carvey, The 1984 Indianpolis Colts, Garth Algar, The Church Lady, Ross Perot, Micheal Ducockass,
Saddam Hussaine, Macanudo Cigars, Allsop Mousepads, Value Jet, Pan-Am flight 109 over Lockerby Scotland, George Clinton and Parlamental Funk, All the transvestites of the world, all of the transvestites removed penises, Lesbians, Jim Carrey, Ace Ventura, The Cable Guy, Fake Andy Kaufman, Rubberface, Lloyd Christmas, Fender Guitars, Gibson Guitars, Wendy Bray, Les Paul, Leo Fender, Marshall Amplifiers, Michael Jackson, Iron Maiden, Black Sabbath, Matt Glover, All the members of The Razor Blade Cult, Lloyd Bridges, Beau Bridges, Bea Arthur, Estelle Getty, Tim Allen, Abe Lincoln, The hot version of Sigourney Weaver, Al Snow, Al Gets, Al Yankovic, Allen Thick, Dick Clark, Andy Rooney, Andy Rickter, Conan O'Brien, Roger Anderson, Frank Parker, Tori Amos, Jewel, Alex Trebek, Tori Wilson, Pat Sajak, Banjo Kazzooie, Twisted Metal 4, Doink the Clown, Pamela Anderson Lee, Tommy Lee, Alyssa Milano, Wendy Bray,Beth Hash, Ice Cube, Ice Tea, Vanilla Ice, M.C. Hammer, Villanos 1 through 42, Lenny Lane, Lodi, Tommy Orion, Billy Sadler, Benjamin Nyetanyahoo, Lolita Davidovich, Carnie Wilson, Indiana Jones, Han Solo, Luke Skywalker, James T. Kirk, Pubic hair spong, Barney the dinosaur, Big Bird, Snuffallunfagus, Will Smith, Tupac, Puff daddy, Pistacios Nuts, Mr. Peanut, Mr. T, Mr. Belding, Tweek and Craig, Zakk Wylde, Zack Morris, A.C. Slater, Kelly Capowski, Lisa Turtle, Screech, Jesse Spano, Carlos Santana, Wendy Bray, James Hettfield, Lars Ulrich, Kirk Hammet, Jason Newsted, Ralph Lauren, Ralph, Ronald Reagan, Jimmy Carter, George Bush, George Thorogood, David Arquette, Mariah Carey's Tits and Ass, The girl from Disc Jockey with perfect Tits and Ass, The all around hot girl from Sunglass Hut, The woman in Leopard Skin selling copper, The dudes that sell hoods, Tommmy Dreamer, all the guys at Nascar HQ, Tree Hugging Hippie Store, Dip N Dots, KISS dude at Spencers, Carie Worley, David at Kay Bee, Mindboggle, Silent Scope, Tyler Winkler, Henry Winkler, The Fonz, Jonie and Chachie, Richie Cunningham, Scott Bayo, Mel Saunders, Dustin Hoffman, Jack Nickelson, Hal Sparks, Mel Gibson, Bruce Willis, Chuck Norris, Tom Arnold, Walker,Texas Ranger, Randy Rhoads, Suzzanne Somers, Tom Selleck, Magnum P.I., Bert Reynolds, The cast of Riptide, Captain Winkie, Ben Folds Five, Steve Bushemi, Quentin Tarantino, Harvey Kytel, Penis pistol from duck til dawn, Mark Callaway, Salma Hayek, Jennifer Lopez, Daisey Fuetes, CATHERINE-ZETA-JONES, JENNY McCARTHY, Dennis Rodman, CARMAN ELECTRA, Denise Richards, Terri Runnels, Tori, Debra, Ivory, Chyna, Rena Mero, The chick with Black hair that was perfect, chick from Ames, Wendy Bray, Grace Slick, Jefferson Airplane, Clarence "the Fire Breathing Negro", Trojan Man, Julius Ceasar, CALIGULA, Stanley Kubrick, Oliver Stone, JFK, Jackie O, Steven Spielberg, Rob Sneider, George Lucas, Jeremy McGrath, Tony Hawk, Nick, Ryan, Roby and Tyler, Jergens Lotion, Hugo Boss, Squave, 12 dollar shampoo, Dave's Brush, David loves Miss Congeniality, David Horowitz...The Jew! He likes to watch us masterbate and he goes: "Splat splooo slooop" all over us, Rico Squave, Mitch Headberg, Lewis Black, THE ROCK, The girl who wouldn't have gone to college if it weren't for her horse, Steve Austin, Hacksaw Jim Duggan, Shane Douglas, Steve Corino, Hewlett Packard, Bill Gates, Jack Victory, ROADKILL, Danny Doring, Electra, DAWN MARIE, Justin Credible, Lance Storm: From Calgary...Alberta, Canada, Vito Lagrassi, Mulletts all over the globe, Little Guido, BIG SAL E. GRAZIANO, Tracy Smothers, Make-out fest 1986, Jerry Lynn, Spike Dudley, Mike Awesome, Masato Tanaka, Masahiro Chono, Yoshihiro Tajiri, The Great Muta, g Fresh, INDIANS from CANNIBAL THE MUSICAL, ALFRED PACKER, Juan Swartz, SCHWAN, Humphries, Trey Parker, Matt Stone, Meatloaf, Barbara Streisand, Dale Earnhardt,George Carlin, Jose Canseco, Cream Boxed Sets, THAT LOVELY, LOVELY POETRY BOOK, and of course, PROVIDENCE!

David Lee Roth
- Saturday, December 25, 1999 at 01:00:11 (PST)


Merry Christmas to:





Richard Donald Underwood III
UNCLE David Setliff! ( The accountant )
Jessyca Hope Blankenship
Melissa, Eve, Foster, Brandi, Travis Ray Cole, Wes, The bartender's Ass, Christina, Terry, Culver,Mick Foley, Scruggs, Meachum, Shott, Stonestreet, WENDY BRAY, Burgess, Christen Carper, Jodi Taylor, Elisha Cuppett, Stephanie Fowler, Amanda Cochran, Charles Bently, John Henson, Chris and Beth Henry, Mr. Godfrey, Mr. Bourne, Mr. Hankey, Kenny, Kyle, Cartman, Stan, Beavis, Butt-head, Bo Duke, Luke Duke, Daisy, Uncle Jessie, Rosco P. Colet,rain, Boss Hogg, The 1988 Oakland A's, Droz, Jesus, Satan, Enus, Christopher Walken, Keith Richards, Eric Clapton, Ginger Baker, Jack Bruce, Jeff Beck, Jimmy Page, Joe F. Perry, DMX, ODB, Ja-Rule, Paul Stanley, Gene Simmons, Peter Criss, ACE FREHLEY, Bruce Kulick, Vinnie Vincent, Eric Carr, Eric Singer, Jessica Comer, Barry Dillon, Bigger Thomas, Jared Barker, Shawn Michaels, Jericho, SABU, RVD, Brandy Bagar, Paige Mustard, BROOKE BOURNE, Matthew Wooten, Lala Wooten, James Richard Wooten, Tammy Underwood, Richard Underwood Jr., T-Bone, Cooter, Effie Epperson, Bob Epperson, the one armed guy who hangs around downtown, Thomas J. Whitmore, Bruce Raven, Wedny Bray,Drake Calloway, Stephanie Ballargin (?), Pete, the guys at Anheiser-Busch, Jack Daniels, Jim Bean, Joel "whether at home or here in Dayton the women are watchin me and maturbatin" Gertner, Cyrus, Joey Styles, Anthony Perdue, Spyder Crowley, Johnny Blast, Ward and June, Brian Logan, Joey Morton, Jared Rottenberry, J.D. Rottenberry, Grandmasta Sexxy, Scotty Too Hotty, Danny Cameron, Heather Lyons, Jamie Hypes, Leah Hypes, Michael Williams, Brandon Williams, Last year's French chick, This years french chick, Kelly Howell, Jessica Stamper, Hannah Stamper, Ryan Stamper, Jeff Burnopp, Caressa Barton, her older sister who was cool, Sarah Kinder, Sarah Stevenson, Stephanie Walk, Steve Matthews, Thomas White, Arron Combs, Ben and Jerry, Daniel Mounts, the guy who "raped" Elisha Cuppett, Shannon Stewart, Mike Haddox, the Puppies, Ulysses, GENERAL LEE, KIT, David Hasslehoff, Jan Micheal Vincent, The guy in teh cartoon who turned into his car, the smurfs, the FRAGGLEs, Wendy Bray, Mario and Luigi, Sonic the Hedgehog, Walt Disney's cremated body, Pricess Di (in hell), JFK Jr., Hitler, Musolini, Castro, My Dad's French chick, Bret Hart, Owen Hart, Mike Meyers, Austin Powers, Wayne Cambell, Andy Kaufman, Tony Clifton, Ladka, Jerry "the King" Lawler, The cast of MTV'S "The State", Beth Littleford, Jon Stewart, Mo Rocca, Vance Degeneres, Steve Cobert, Jimmy Kimel, Ben Stein, Adam Corolla, Bill Clinton, His cock, Monica Lewinsky, Linda Tripp, Stephanie Flowers, Paula Jones, Tonya Harding, Nancy Kerrigan, Jeff Goloulee, Lou E. Dnagerously, Tom Petty, Mandy Moore, Britanny Spears, Christina Agulera, Backstreet Boys, N'SYNC, 98 Degrees, 3 count, Fozzy Osbourne, Ozzy Osbourne, Ozzie Osborune, Rob Zombie, Phil Anselmo, Dimebag Darrel, Vinnie Paul, Rex, Waylon Jennings, Wille Nelson, Johnny Cash, Kris Kristopherson, Yoko Ono, Fred Durst, The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, CREAM, Aerosmith, KISS, 80's KISS, Reunited KISS, Wendy bray,Flotsam and Jetsom, Metallica, Metallica w/out Cliff, AC/DC, Motley Crue, Poison, Unskinny Rose, C.C. Deville, Ford Motor COmpany, Steve Mother-fucking Polychronopolous, Adam Sandler, the Chrysler Corp, Every 1969 Dodge Chager every built (particulalry ones painted orange), Oldmobiles, Geos, Breyers Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream, Nicole Johnson, Nicole Perry, Nicole Thompson, Nicole Artrip, Nicole Sullivan, Nicole Baurer,
Nicole-(ous) Cage, Danny Bonaducci, Leif Garret, Donny Osmond, Marie Osmond, Tommy Hilfigger, Wendy Bray,FUBU, Levi, Lee, Wendy's resturaunt chain, niggers everywhere, all the fags, Jews, spics, chinks, japs, honkies, wetbacks, Nazi's, The Axis Powers, No Doubt, Sean Gurtis, Bush, Silverchair, Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Pearl Necklace, Pearl Drums, Pearl S. Buck, Pearly Bowman, Eric Estrada, Every car every blown up on TV or in a cool movie, Arnold Shwartzenager, That skinny bitch off Dateline he's married to, Jane Pauley, Stone Phillips, Tom Brokaw, Dan Rather, Peter Jennings, My insanlely large cock, Bryant Gumball, Katie Kouric, Willard Scott, Al Roker, Matt Lauer, Ronald McDonald, Grimmace, the Hamburgler, Birdie, Mayor McCheese, Bogey, Pammy, Rick, Scott Steiner, Drizzt Do'Urden, Elminister, the Polterguist, the Exorcist, Linda Blair, the Blair Witch, Heather Donahue, Phil Donahue, Rosie O'donnel, Oprah, Harpo Productions, Wendy Bray,Happy Madison Productions, David Spade, Dana Carvey, The 1984 Indianpolis Colts, Garth Algar, The Church Lady, Ross Perot, Micheal Ducockass,
Saddam Hussaine, Macanudo Cigars, Allsop Mousepads, Value Jet, Pan-Am flight 109 over Lockerby Scotland, George Clinton and Parlamental Funk, All the transvestites of the world, all of the transvestites removed penises, Lesbians, Jim Carrey, Ace Ventura, The Cable Guy, Fake Andy Kaufman, Rubberface, Lloyd Christmas, Fender Guitars, Gibson Guitars, Wendy Bray, Les Paul, Leo Fender, Marshall Amplifiers, Michael Jackson, Iron Maiden, Black Sabbath, Matt Glover, All the members of The Razor Blade Cult, Lloyd Bridges, Beau Bridges, Bea Arthur, Estelle Getty, Tim Allen, Abe Lincoln, The hot version of Sigourney Weaver, Al Snow, Al Gets, Al Yankovic, Allen Thick, Dick Clark, Andy Rooney, Andy Rickter, Conan O'Brien, Roger Anderson, Frank Parker, Tori Amos, Jewel, Alex Trebek, Tori Wilson, Pat Sajak, Banjo Kazzooie, Twisted Metal 4, Doink the Clown, Pamela Anderson Lee, Tommy Lee, Alyssa Milano, Wendy Bray,Beth Hash, Ice Cube, Ice Tea, Vanilla Ice, M.C. Hammer, Villanos 1 through 42, Lenny Lane, Lodi, Tommy Orion, Billy Sadler, Benjamin Nyetanyahoo, Lolita Davidovich, Carnie Wilson, Indiana Jones, Han Solo, Luke Skywalker, James T. Kirk, Pubic hair spong, Barney the dinosaur, Big Bird, Snuffallunfagus, Will Smith, Tupac, Puff daddy, Pistacios Nuts, Mr. Peanut, Mr. T, Mr. Belding, Tweek and Craig, Zakk Wylde, Zack Morris, A.C. Slater, Kelly Capowski, Lisa Turtle, Screech, Jesse Spano, Carlos Santana, Wendy Bray, James Hettfield, Lars Ulrich, Kirk Hammet, Jason Newsted, Ralph Lauren, Ralph, Ronald Reagan, Jimmy Carter, George Bush, George Thorogood, David Arquette, Mariah Carey's Tits and Ass, The girl from Disc Jockey with perfect Tits and Ass, The all around hot girl from Sunglass Hut, The woman in Leopard Skin selling copper, The dudes that sell hoods, Tommmy Dreamer, all the guys at Nascar HQ, Tree Hugging Hippie Store, Dip N Dots, KISS dude at Spencers, Carie Worley, David at Kay Bee, Mindboggle, Silent Scope, Tyler Winkler, Henry Winkler, The Fonz, Jonie and Chachie, Richie Cunningham, Scott Bayo, Mel Saunders, Dustin Hoffman, Jack Nickelson, Hal Sparks, Mel Gibson, Bruce Willis, Chuck Norris, Tom Arnold, Walker,Texas Ranger, Randy Rhoads, Suzzanne Somers, Tom Selleck, Magnum P.I., Bert Reynolds, The cast of Riptide, Captain Winkie, Ben Folds Five, Steve Bushemi, Quentin Tarantino, Harvey Kytel, Penis pistol from duck til dawn, Mark Callaway, Salma Hayek, Jennifer Lopez, Daisey Fuetes, CATHERINE-ZETA-JONES, JENNY McCARTHY, Dennis Rodman, CARMAN ELECTRA, Denise Richards, Terri Runnels, Tori, Debra, Ivory, Chyna, Rena Mero, The chick with Black hair that was perfect, chick from Ames, Wendy Bray, Grace Slick, Jefferson Airplane, Clarence "the Fire Breathing Negro", Trojan Man, Julius Ceasar, CALIGULA, Stanley Kubrick, Oliver Stone, JFK, Jackie O, Steven Spielberg, Rob Sneider, George Lucas, Jeremy McGrath, Tony Hawk, Nick, Ryan, Roby and Tyler, Jergens Lotion, Hugo Boss, Squave, 12 dollar shampoo, Dave's Brush, David loves Miss Congeniality, David Horowitz...The Jew! He likes to watch us masterbate and he goes: "Splat splooo slooop" all over us, Rico Squave, Mitch Headberg, Lewis Black, THE ROCK, The girl who wouldn't have gone to college if it weren't for her horse, Steve Austin, Hacksaw Jim Duggan, Shane Douglas, Steve Corino, Hewlett Packard, Bill Gates, Jack Victory, ROADKILL, Danny Doring, Electra, DAWN MARIE, Justin Credible, Lance Storm: From Calgary...Alberta, Canada, Vito Lagrassi, Mulletts all over the globe, Little Guido, BIG SAL E. GRAZIANO, Tracy Smothers, Make-out fest 1986, Jerry Lynn, Spike Dudley, Mike Awesome, Masato Tanaka, Masahiro Chono, Yoshihiro Tajiri, The Great Muta, g Fresh, INDIANS from CANNIBAL THE MUSICAL, ALFRED PACKER, Juan Swartz, SCHWAN, Humphries, Trey Parker, Matt Stone, Meatloaf, Barbara Streisand, Dale Earnhardt,George Carlin, Jose Canseco, Cream Boxed Sets, THAT LOVELY, LOVELY POETRY BOOK, and of course, PROVIDENCE!

Wootie
- Saturday, December 25, 1999 at 00:59:35 (PST)


Merry Christmas to:





Richard Donald Underwood III
UNCLE David Setliff! ( The accountant )
Jessyca Hope Blankenship
Melissa, Eve, Foster, Brandi, Travis Ray Cole, Wes, The bartender's Ass, Christina, Terry, Culver,Mick Foley, Scruggs, Meachum, Shott, Stonestreet, WENDY BRAY, Burgess, Christen Carper, Jodi Taylor, Elisha Cuppett, Stephanie Fowler, Amanda Cochran, Charles Bently, John Henson, Chris and Beth Henry, Mr. Godfrey, Mr. Bourne, Mr. Hankey, Kenny, Kyle, Cartman, Stan, Beavis, Butt-head, Bo Duke, Luke Duke, Daisy, Uncle Jessie, Rosco P. Colet,rain, Boss Hogg, The 1988 Oakland A's, Droz, Jesus, Satan, Enus, Christopher Walken, Keith Richards, Eric Clapton, Ginger Baker, Jack Bruce, Jeff Beck, Jimmy Page, Joe F. Perry, DMX, ODB, Ja-Rule, Paul Stanley, Gene Simmons, Peter Criss, ACE FREHLEY, Bruce Kulick, Vinnie Vincent, Eric Carr, Eric Singer, Jessica Comer, Barry Dillon, Bigger Thomas, Jared Barker, Shawn Michaels, Jericho, SABU, RVD, Brandy Bagar, Paige Mustard, BROOKE BOURNE, Matthew Wooten, Lala Wooten, James Richard Wooten, Tammy Underwood, Richard Underwood Jr., T-Bone, Cooter, Effie Epperson, Bob Epperson, the one armed guy who hangs around downtown, Thomas J. Whitmore, Bruce Raven, Wedny Bray,Drake Calloway, Stephanie Ballargin (?), Pete, the guys at Anheiser-Busch, Jack Daniels, Jim Bean, Joel "whether at home or here in Dayton the women are watchin me and maturbatin" Gertner, Cyrus, Joey Styles, Anthony Perdue, Spyder Crowley, Johnny Blast, Ward and June, Brian Logan, Joey Morton, Jared Rottenberry, J.D. Rottenberry, Grandmasta Sexxy, Scotty Too Hotty, Danny Cameron, Heather Lyons, Jamie Hypes, Leah Hypes, Michael Williams, Brandon Williams, Last year's French chick, This years french chick, Kelly Howell, Jessica Stamper, Hannah Stamper, Ryan Stamper, Jeff Burnopp, Caressa Barton, her older sister who was cool, Sarah Kinder, Sarah Stevenson, Stephanie Walk, Steve Matthews, Thomas White, Arron Combs, Ben and Jerry, Daniel Mounts, the guy who "raped" Elisha Cuppett, Shannon Stewart, Mike Haddox, the Puppies, Ulysses, GENERAL LEE, KIT, David Hasslehoff, Jan Micheal Vincent, The guy in teh cartoon who turned into his car, the smurfs, the FRAGGLEs, Wendy Bray, Mario and Luigi, Sonic the Hedgehog, Walt Disney's cremated body, Pricess Di (in hell), JFK Jr., Hitler, Musolini, Castro, My Dad's French chick, Bret Hart, Owen Hart, Mike Meyers, Austin Powers, Wayne Cambell, Andy Kaufman, Tony Clifton, Ladka, Jerry "the King" Lawler, The cast of MTV'S "The State", Beth Littleford, Jon Stewart, Mo Rocca, Vance Degeneres, Steve Cobert, Jimmy Kimel, Ben Stein, Adam Corolla, Bill Clinton, His cock, Monica Lewinsky, Linda Tripp, Stephanie Flowers, Paula Jones, Tonya Harding, Nancy Kerrigan, Jeff Goloulee, Lou E. Dnagerously, Tom Petty, Mandy Moore, Britanny Spears, Christina Agulera, Backstreet Boys, N'SYNC, 98 Degrees, 3 count, Fozzy Osbourne, Ozzy Osbourne, Ozzie Osborune, Rob Zombie, Phil Anselmo, Dimebag Darrel, Vinnie Paul, Rex, Waylon Jennings, Wille Nelson, Johnny Cash, Kris Kristopherson, Yoko Ono, Fred Durst, The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, CREAM, Aerosmith, KISS, 80's KISS, Reunited KISS, Wendy bray,Flotsam and Jetsom, Metallica, Metallica w/out Cliff, AC/DC, Motley Crue, Poison, Unskinny Rose, C.C. Deville, Ford Motor COmpany, Steve Mother-fucking Polychronopolous, Adam Sandler, the Chrysler Corp, Every 1969 Dodge Chager every built (particulalry ones painted orange), Oldmobiles, Geos, Breyers Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream, Nicole Johnson, Nicole Perry, Nicole Thompson, Nicole Artrip, Nicole Sullivan, Nicole Baurer,
Nicole-(ous) Cage, Danny Bonaducci, Leif Garret, Donny Osmond, Marie Osmond, Tommy Hilfigger, Wendy Bray,FUBU, Levi, Lee, Wendy's resturaunt chain, niggers everywhere, all the fags, Jews, spics, chinks, japs, honkies, wetbacks, Nazi's, The Axis Powers, No Doubt, Sean Gurtis, Bush, Silverchair, Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Pearl Necklace, Pearl Drums, Pearl S. Buck, Pearly Bowman, Eric Estrada, Every car every blown up on TV or in a cool movie, Arnold Shwartzenager, That skinny bitch off Dateline he's married to, Jane Pauley, Stone Phillips, Tom Brokaw, Dan Rather, Peter Jennings, My insanlely large cock, Bryant Gumball, Katie Kouric, Willard Scott, Al Roker, Matt Lauer, Ronald McDonald, Grimmace, the Hamburgler, Birdie, Mayor McCheese, Bogey, Pammy, Rick, Scott Steiner, Drizzt Do'Urden, Elminister, the Polterguist, the Exorcist, Linda Blair, the Blair Witch, Heather Donahue, Phil Donahue, Rosie O'donnel, Oprah, Harpo Productions, Wendy Bray,Happy Madison Productions, David Spade, Dana Carvey, The 1984 Indianpolis Colts, Garth Algar, The Church Lady, Ross Perot, Micheal Ducockass,
Saddam Hussaine, Macanudo Cigars, Allsop Mousepads, Value Jet, Pan-Am flight 109 over Lockerby Scotland, George Clinton and Parlamental Funk, All the transvestites of the world, all of the transvestites removed penises, Lesbians, Jim Carrey, Ace Ventura, The Cable Guy, Fake Andy Kaufman, Rubberface, Lloyd Christmas, Fender Guitars, Gibson Guitars, Wendy Bray, Les Paul, Leo Fender, Marshall Amplifiers, Michael Jackson, Iron Maiden, Black Sabbath, Matt Glover, All the members of The Razor Blade Cult, Lloyd Bridges, Beau Bridges, Bea Arthur, Estelle Getty, Tim Allen, Abe Lincoln, The hot version of Sigourney Weaver, Al Snow, Al Gets, Al Yankovic, Allen Thick, Dick Clark, Andy Rooney, Andy Rickter, Conan O'Brien, Roger Anderson, Frank Parker, Tori Amos, Jewel, Alex Trebek, Tori Wilson, Pat Sajak, Banjo Kazzooie, Twisted Metal 4, Doink the Clown, Pamela Anderson Lee, Tommy Lee, Alyssa Milano, Wendy Bray,Beth Hash, Ice Cube, Ice Tea, Vanilla Ice, M.C. Hammer, Villanos 1 through 42, Lenny Lane, Lodi, Tommy Orion, Billy Sadler, Benjamin Nyetanyahoo, Lolita Davidovich, Carnie Wilson, Indiana Jones, Han Solo, Luke Skywalker, James T. Kirk, Pubic hair spong, Barney the dinosaur, Big Bird, Snuffallunfagus, Will Smith, Tupac, Puff daddy, Pistacios Nuts, Mr. Peanut, Mr. T, Mr. Belding, Tweek and Craig, Zakk Wylde, Zack Morris, A.C. Slater, Kelly Capowski, Lisa Turtle, Screech, Jesse Spano, Carlos Santana, Wendy Bray, James Hettfield, Lars Ulrich, Kirk Hammet, Jason Newsted, Ralph Lauren, Ralph, Ronald Reagan, Jimmy Carter, George Bush, George Thorogood, David Arquette, Mariah Carey's Tits and Ass, The girl from Disc Jockey with perfect Tits and Ass, The all around hot girl from Sunglass Hut, The woman in Leopard Skin selling copper, The dudes that sell hoods, Tommmy Dreamer, all the guys at Nascar HQ, Tree Hugging Hippie Store, Dip N Dots, KISS dude at Spencers, Carie Worley, David at Kay Bee, Mindboggle, Silent Scope, Tyler Winkler, Henry Winkler, The Fonz, Jonie and Chachie, Richie Cunningham, Scott Bayo, Mel Saunders, Dustin Hoffman, Jack Nickelson, Hal Sparks, Mel Gibson, Bruce Willis, Chuck Norris, Tom Arnold, Walker,Texas Ranger, Randy Rhoads, Suzzanne Somers, Tom Selleck, Magnum P.I., Bert Reynolds, The cast of Riptide, Captain Winkie, Ben Folds Five, Steve Bushemi, Quentin Tarantino, Harvey Kytel, Penis pistol from duck til dawn, Mark Callaway, Salma Hayek, Jennifer Lopez, Daisey Fuetes, CATHERINE-ZETA-JONES, JENNY McCARTHY, Dennis Rodman, CARMAN ELECTRA, Denise Richards, Terri Runnels, Tori, Debra, Ivory, Chyna, Rena Mero, The chick with Black hair that was perfect, chick from Ames, Wendy Bray, Grace Slick, Jefferson Airplane, Clarence "the Fire Breathing Negro", Trojan Man, Julius Ceasar, CALIGULA, Stanley Kubrick, Oliver Stone, JFK, Jackie O, Steven Spielberg, Rob Sneider, George Lucas, Jeremy McGrath, Tony Hawk, Nick, Ryan, Roby and Tyler, Jergens Lotion, Hugo Boss, Squave, 12 dollar shampoo, Dave's Brush, David loves Miss Congeniality, David Horowitz...The Jew! He likes to watch us masterbate and he goes: "Splat splooo slooop" all over us, Rico Squave, Mitch Headberg, Lewis Black, THE ROCK, The girl who wouldn't have gone to college if it weren't for her horse, Steve Austin, Hacksaw Jim Duggan, Shane Douglas, Steve Corino, Hewlett Packard, Bill Gates, Jack Victory, ROADKILL, Danny Doring, Electra, DAWN MARIE, Justin Credible, Lance Storm: From Calgary...Alberta, Canada, Vito Lagrassi, Mulletts all over the globe, Little Guido, BIG SAL E. GRAZIANO, Tracy Smothers, Make-out fest 1986, Jerry Lynn, Spike Dudley, Mike Awesome, Masato Tanaka, Masahiro Chono, Yoshihiro Tajiri, The Great Muta, g Fresh, INDIANS from CANNIBAL THE MUSICAL, ALFRED PACKER, Juan Swartz, SCHWAN, Humphries, Trey Parker, Matt Stone, Meatloaf, Barbara Streisand, Dale Earnhardt,George Carlin, Jose Canseco, Cream Boxed Sets, THAT LOVELY, LOVELY POETRY BOOK, and of course, PROVIDENCE!
The Wooten
- Saturday, December 25, 1999 at 00:57:18 (PST)


I need a drink
Jane
- Friday, December 24, 1999 at 21:54:09 (PST)


and to you Little "J"
I do
apologize.
PBT
- Friday, December 24, 1999 at 21:24:18 (PST)


Merry Christmas to everyone.
Today was a wonderful day with
family. One I will never forget.
Love you Jayme.
PBT
- Friday, December 24, 1999 at 21:19:55 (PST)


Come on everybody
It is now CHRISTMAS
and I refuse to spend it bitter and angry
I hope you all choose the same path


MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE



Pretynd
- Friday, December 24, 1999 at 21:09:21 (PST)


I miss and love you Pat
I cant wait to see you
Portia
- Friday, December 24, 1999 at 21:00:54 (PST)


He's not just the coolest...


He's not just the Best...


He's from Bluefield..(insert dramatic pause)..West Virginia


And he my friends, is ADAM WOOTEN
The Wooten
- Friday, December 24, 1999 at 20:56:53 (PST)


Oh yeah Beth and Ben, I don't appreciate what you said about Jessyca. She is A better person then any of you. She has done nothing to anyone to derserve to be brought into mine and Jaimmee's feud.


I mean take a look into the mirror Beth, you ain't too thin yourself, maybe you should sign up for the fat girl orgy.

And Ben...HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Jessyca, I would like to appologize for the actions of these individuals who obviously posses less mental accument and self-esteem than people such as ourselves.



"Adam Wooten, Goddamn He's great"
The Wooten
- Friday, December 24, 1999 at 20:54:23 (PST)


Attention Pandorians: I am, at my own leisure, hosting the 78th annual barnyard animal-fat girl ORGY!


If you'd like to attend or would just like more information post your name, phone number, and a breif essay explaining why you would like to be involved.

I'll respond to these as quickly as possible.

Thank You
The Wooten


"Adam Wooten, Goddamn he's great"
The Wooten
- Friday, December 24, 1999 at 20:44:41 (PST)


What poetry? I don't write poetry.
Guess Who
- Friday, December 24, 1999 at 20:41:13 (PST)


you may erase my past
you may scar my heart
but you can never take
my talents
my spirits
my abilities
my gusto
or my future
I would never let you hurt me
its just as simple as that
- Friday, December 24, 1999 at 15:49:11 (PST)


WHY DONT ALL YOU PEOPLE GROW THE F___ UP AND GET A LIFE

WRITE POETRY LIKE YOU CAME HERE FOR!

DONT FIGHT!



(can you fill in the blank)


ROCK
- Friday, December 24, 1999 at 15:45:18 (PST)


WHY DONT ALL YOU PEOPLE GROW THE FUCK UP AND GET A LIFE

WRITE POETRY LIKE YOU CAME HERE FOR!

DONT FIGHT!


ROCK
- Friday, December 24, 1999 at 15:42:56 (PST)


Here we go again... I thought you were smarter than I Adam...but that would make me an infant and you retarded... and I am not an infant. You on the other hand are retarded.

How can you smile in your ignorant mirth
ah, (as Beth said) your farm animals must be heavy with birth.
Poor Adam will be a father soon
but I don't know whether his children will cry or howl at the moon.
It is true his girls are a little hefty, or perhaps fat as hell
but you can't blame Adam who on his head fell
nore than once as a babe, all the time as a child,
why I'll bet he can't count all the sheep he's defiled!
Just forget yourself Adam forget who you are...
don't you have a date with your BIG bitch at the "Fat Ass" Bar?
We all think you are better off dead
won't you agree and shoot yourself in the head?
aim at your ass they're hard to tell apart
hell fuckit all and shoot your black heart.
I didn't want to have to see you anymore
your poetry sucks and your works are a bore
but no you had to squelch go back on the deal...
now I know how all those sheep feel :(.
You suck I despise you I hope you die
and then when you're gone no one will cry.
You're a nuisance a child something like shit
when will you realize this when will you get it?

You're a pud no one likes you so give it up... I'm tired of your shit and writing about something worth a little bit of dirt.
Sebastian Bediss
- Friday, December 24, 1999 at 12:02:53 (PST)


You might wanna check your barnyard animals WOOTEN.
Have a merry little xmas with your fat girlfriend.
P.Beth Tolbert, Jayme's Sister !
- Friday, December 24, 1999 at 09:34:38 (PST)


You might wanna check your e-mail.










A D A M W O O T E N
- Friday, December 24, 1999 at 00:04:12 (PST)


The straw that broke the
camel's back also broke
his fingernail
Scandanavian
- Friday, December 24, 1999 at 00:00:45 (PST)


2 Liters
67.6 Fl. oz.
(2 qt. 3.6 Fl. oz.)
Scandanavian
- Thursday, December 23, 1999 at 23:59:14 (PST)


(sung)
You are
neurotic and
depressed
That doesn't
mean that
you are
SADD
(sung)

Scandanavian
- Thursday, December 23, 1999 at 23:57:43 (PST)


No one
knows
how I HATE
HER
Anonymous
- Thursday, December 23, 1999 at 23:54:44 (PST)


What the fuck is
way anyway?
Scandanavian
- Thursday, December 23, 1999 at 23:53:14 (PST)


I just want to smell his breath mixed with mine one more time.
Scandanavian
- Thursday, December 23, 1999 at 23:50:59 (PST)


THE WRATH
O'EFFIE
Scandanavian
- Thursday, December 23, 1999 at 23:49:29 (PST)


Little girls are smiling now. The little
girls are red. The little girls are happy
now, the little girls are dead
Scandanavian
- Thursday, December 23, 1999 at 23:46:25 (PST)


I HAVE
WANTED
MANY
EVERYTHINGS
Scandanavian
- Thursday, December 23, 1999 at 23:44:59 (PST)


All these....Canadians!! Coming up
here...changing everything...well
they're all just a bunch of carpet
baggers, and I wish they'd all just
GO!!!
Scandanavian
- Thursday, December 23, 1999 at 23:37:42 (PST)


Birds!! I hear Birds!
You know I hit a
bird yesterday.
You Know what
birds mean?
birds mean morning
Scandanavian
- Thursday, December 23, 1999 at 23:34:23 (PST)


I'll never be more than someone's favorite WHORE.


:-)
Scandanavian
- Thursday, December 23, 1999 at 23:31:42 (PST)


I HATE
ATTENTION
THAT'S NOT
FOR ME
Scandanavian
- Thursday, December 23, 1999 at 23:29:11 (PST)


I am here again
my best
my friend
and fear runs through
my door
and I'm holding back the fools
AGAIN
with all the disjointed
faeries
where we're all a little
misproportioned
just a little of
the kilter I suppose
lets hold our crystals
from the snow
and remove ourselves
from this sin
from this skin
where we find ourselves alone
AGAIN
just as it had been
my best
my friend

Pretynd
- Thursday, December 23, 1999 at 22:19:03 (PST)


"The Hey,this shit ain't funny,blues"

Why did you kill your girlfriend and steal her kids
Why did you kill your girlfriend and steal those kids
we could never go back again
who knows what you'ld do
I love your sister not you
and thats goes for now and then

Why did you kill your girlfriend and steal her kids?
why did you kill your girlfriend and steal her kids
I shoulda coulda knocked you up
but then
your sisters 's so much hotter than you

WHOA Why
why did you kill your girlfriend and steal her kids
something aint right with this
your crazy you dyke bitch
you better run....

why would you whats wrong with you

From the I hope santa shits down your chimney collection
- Wednesday, December 22, 1999 at 22:03:44 (PST)


by the friggin way , its p0WeR puFF GIrlS
reverse_smurf
- Wednesday, December 22, 1999 at 20:18:09 (PST)


listen to the shit around me.
louder and deeper it gets.
shit
shit
shit
jesus i hate the fatboy.ripoff madman.techno bullshit.
kisses are the only thing that makes it worthwhile....
sweet the powder puff girls get the attention of yet another..



sad sad sad

poor wittle boy.......

i love you jayme

reverse_smurf
- Wednesday, December 22, 1999 at 20:16:18 (PST)


On the breast of the new fallen snow.....I saw two large pert nipples.
Anonymous
- Wednesday, December 22, 1999 at 17:32:13 (PST)


How much do I hate thee? Let me count the ways! I hate the way you do your walk, I hate the trash you always talk,I hate the way you always stare,your eyes are so cold and always so bare.I hate the way you always flirt,talking about me like I was dirt.I hate the way your face looks, you are so ugly you hide it with books.I hate the fact I really hate you ,because I'm not as low and shallow as you.
Lauren Littrell
- Wednesday, December 22, 1999 at 06:54:51 (PST)


How much do I hate thee? Let me count the ways! I hate the way you do your walk, I hate the trash you always talk,I hate the way you always stare,your eyes are so cold and always so bare.I hate the way you always flirt,talking about me like I was dirt.I hate the way your face looks, you are so ugly you hide it with books.I hate the fact I really hate you ,because I'm not as low and shallow as you.
Lauren Littrell
- Wednesday, December 22, 1999 at 06:54:21 (PST)


How much do I hate thee? Let me count the ways! I hate the way you do your walk, I hate the trash you always talk,I hate the way you always stare,your eyes are so cold and always so bare.I hate the way you always flirt,talking about me like I was dirt.I hate the way your face looks, you are so ugly you hide it with books.I hate the fact I really hate you ,because I'm not as low and shallow as you.
Jennifer
- Wednesday, December 22, 1999 at 06:53:39 (PST)


with the breath of ten dogs
I dream
and only of the love I have for your sweet little sister
My mind screams her name my memory only lives the heavenly lie
due to y2k there will be a shortage of real poetry
- Tuesday, December 21, 1999 at 21:57:27 (PST)


Life is what happens while you're making other plans
Anonymous
- Tuesday, December 21, 1999 at 13:44:51 (PST)


Melissa's High.....


And I'm a Girl!!!



Jayme's High .....


And I'm a Scandinavian!!!!!!



I dont even know where the hell I am anymore....



Son... are you on Cheese?


I think I have alzheimers.... I'm getting younger by the minute!!!!





(drugs lead us all to the sweetest sense of understanding)
Pretynd
- Tuesday, December 21, 1999 at 06:46:49 (PST)


I long for your touch to surround me
encompass me
and I hate fightimg with you
how your brow curls
in this confused
"but wait I do love you" look
still yet though
the next time you touch me
I wish it could be
like you desired to touch me
rather than felt obligated
portia
- Tuesday, December 21, 1999 at 06:40:15 (PST)



My heart bleeds for you and only you. My body weakens for you and only you. My tears fall for you and only you. My dreams scream out your name and only your name. My soul lusts for yours and only yours. My eyes open as if desiring you to complete me. My spirit doing more than loving you and only you. So close but still so distant. Please love for me as i love for you mind, body, heart, and soul.
DizzyDaisy
- Monday, December 20, 1999 at 15:18:09 (PST)


Down by the orange grove
My ghost is in it's box here
spirit in this carcass

I want to zip out of this skin
And run down to the orange grove
It's where people like you are seen
and not heard or felt
It's where people like you don't matter
It's where people like you aren't so important
it's a hi-tech flashy society
she's in her rubberspandexlycra dress
yeah, that's cool and
maybe someday I'll dig that

But now I'd rather be
In the wide open mead
Across the orange trees
my ghost is in this box
my spirit's in this shell
Iv'e felt the spears and red-hot daggers
that burn as bright as hell
I'll spare myself the price
on losing humanity
this time

It's where people like you are seen and not felt

Eve
- Monday, December 20, 1999 at 15:07:08 (PST)


My mind after weeks
Still restless...
It knows you exist
It knows your out of reach
My heart and soul...
Still longing
Never quiet...
They know all the reasons.
My heart bleeds anyway.
My spirit travelling the miles
Daily...
It searches
Seeks
Listens
It hears nothing...
The silnce is deafening.
Little J
- Sunday, December 19, 1999 at 21:06:14 (PST)


At day's end,
when shadows lengthen
and the moon's fingernail crescent
rides upon the air,
I turn to my Lady,
with love in my eyes.

But wait! She seeks another.
With his name upon her lips,
she turns from me.
He comes at her call
and my soul is shaken.

For she who would love me
and whom I would cherish
the rest of my days,
turns, her arm in his,
and walks away.

The sun sets,
and the pale, wan sliver
of a waning moon
does nothing to
illuminate the darkness
in which I find myself.
Ethan Baldridge
- Sunday, December 19, 1999 at 20:34:52 (PST)


I MISS THE DEW DROP QUEEN
I WANT TO BE THE TEAR SLEEPING ON HER CHEEK
I WANT TO BE THE VALLEY SHE SHOWERS CLEAN
(HER LIPS, A HUNGRY SAVAGE FEEDING)
I WANT TO BE THE ONE TO WHOM SHE SPEAKS:
"I WOULD DRINK YOUR BATH WATER"

i am needing
jane
- Saturday, December 18, 1999 at 20:16:51 (PST)


She is the reason for my waking, I love her infinitly.
Sunflowers, soft breezes, loud laughter.
That is what she is, the whole of my everything
I love you LEEAH.
Mom
- Saturday, December 18, 1999 at 19:49:41 (PST)


slow moving nightmare
gots me in the beams
slow moving agony
unable to jump away

got me in the cross hairs
holding me back some more
got me down to my knees
bleeding from the core

push me through that door
so i can see the other side
push aside the vail
so i can see
i want to see

take of your mask and show me
the soul inside
take of your hood and hold me
let me cry




Kenneth
- Saturday, December 18, 1999 at 00:35:17 (PST)


"PMS"

Pathetically
Morbidly
Sick





Anonymous
- Friday, December 17, 1999 at 22:32:55 (PST)


"Bonita"

I'm looking
I'm looking
I'm looking

for a girl like you

Yes,I'm looking
I'm looking
you know I'm looking
because you look to good.
Travis Ray Cole
- Friday, December 17, 1999 at 21:59:16 (PST)


I MISS THE DEW DROP QUEEN
I WANT TO BE THE TEAR SLEEPING ON HER CHEEK
I WANT TO BE THE VALLEY SHE SHOWERS CLEAN
(HER LIPS, A HUNGRY SAVAGE FEEDING)
I WANT TO BE THE ONE TO WHOM SHE SPEAKS:
"I WOULD DRINK YOUR BATH WATER"

i am needing
Jane
- Friday, December 17, 1999 at 20:33:38 (PST)


You tap your foot and look for the time
as if touching me fills you with grime
I hold you and look in your eyes
but they're across the room looking at other guys
I kiss you and still you're so far away
why are you keeping me at bay?
I've given myself to you and I can't give no more
so please kindly open the door
love me, kiss me, look in my eyes
I love you but those other guys...
don't, not like I do
they can't love you
not like me...
when will you see?


Cheshire Cat
- Friday, December 17, 1999 at 10:07:46 (PST)


Life is just a process of denial
of blocking-out
It's all the same
it's just as well
"she's better off not knowing, anyhow"
well

learn not to put faith in mankind, but rather
in a higher power
Man is false and failing
And the pedestal crumbles quick
dissapointment is the trap

don't try to seek perfection in yourself or others; the seeking will be in vain
Just love as much as you can
forgive others of their shortcomings
forgive yourself of yours
just look inside before you judge

Pride always comes before a fall
get it right
It's not about having what you want, but wanting what you have
And in this we can find peace
And in this we can believe

His art is what I seek

give me a love others can count on
give me the words to comfort
the actions that care

What kind of a difference can I make this time?



Eve
- Thursday, December 16, 1999 at 22:51:26 (PST)


I drank the Sandman's beer!!!!


I am the Chosen one!

Ayatollah
- Thursday, December 16, 1999 at 20:52:12 (PST)


i need you why cant you see'
i miss you i am not as free
i want you do you want me
i see you do you see me
you smiled at me pls talk to me
i mailed you please mail to me
i cry for you do you know this
I Dream of you and us each night
is it at all the same for you
do you want,need,miss,cry,and dream me too?
if you do then let me know as im ready for you!!!!
you know who you are we see each other but never talk
lets break the spell and make it real.......wanna?



long haired girl
- Thursday, December 16, 1999 at 16:41:24 (PST)


"Though my views may be wrong...They may even be perverted, She will listen to me and won't easily be converted..."
~Depeche Mode

(Sung in a really great U.K. accent)

He makes PERVERTED sound so languid.


mmmmmmm!

Jane
- Wednesday, December 15, 1999 at 21:24:22 (PST)


i am tired of playing our game
just for once maybe you could quit
long enough to say to me hello
the smile was nice but i need more
I have been crying for you as always
waiting for you to come through my door
I thought it would work when you saw my name
thought you'd rush right out to find our flame
or return my hello please something please......
KM@MM
- Wednesday, December 15, 1999 at 05:49:30 (PST)


Dreamy

It wasn't long ago you came
Over to my house at night.
You had your bottle and your cigarettes,
no smoking please, my throat hurts!
I got badly drunk, threw up on everything.
Remember?

Then you picked me up.

You took me to the bedroom,
You kissed me and asked,
How Does That Feel?
You were so sensual, so sweet,
You wrapped yourself around me like a sheet.

Then you picked me up.

And we soared and flew and explored each other.
And I did it for you, only for you.
I wanted you to come back,
And you did. And again you kissed me.
Remember?

The last time I saw you was two days ago,
When you looked at me, your eyes misted
over and you hid your sadness.
I wish I had told you then that
I only said no the second night because
I didn't want everyone to think I
was a horny little slut.
I am not.
I don't love you, but I am
tired of denying myself the pleasure
of someone else's body
just because everybody else thinks
It's OK...

You were like a dream,
and I want to go back to sleep
and dream it again.

I want you to pick me up.

Whaite
- Tuesday, December 14, 1999 at 21:53:17 (PST)


The Origin Behind Bacon and porkchops

In a home not far from here
lived a pig rather queer
oh he was a truly gifted ham
who's name happened to be spam
now spam had a brother his name was bacon
and spam's wife was taken
with his brother his flesh and blood
who lived in a sty and wallowed in mud

yet another wonderous production by everyone's favorite cat:
Spam was furious he couldn't believe
that his own brother would theive
his wife his love his porkchop
but on all of this on top
was the gun he bought
for his lesson to be taught
he went to the new sty they were make'n
and he shot good ol bacon
Poor porkchop you could hear her miles away
on that tragic horrid day.
He sold the bodies to a guy
who threw porkchop in a pan to fry
and cut bacon to tiny bits
and here's where we get bacon and bacon bits.

Cheshire Cat
- Tuesday, December 14, 1999 at 19:56:52 (PST)


So here we are again, I love you but you don't care
all I have is to try to compare...
with myself, shadows, and even my friends
and to think that once all your words did was send
they sent me to heaven and I enjoyed the blue,
but still all I have is to compete for you.
To fight for attention and fight for affection...
No more will I fight for your cancer, this infection
I thought you the best now I think you're the worst.
I hate placing second when I deserve first.




You are my cancer and you are my plague
now please be kind and detach from my leg.
Go play with your toys and your conniving deception
hide the mirror and your reflection.
I have no time for this stupid game
all you're getting is to be pretty lame.
If you can't see the treasure thieves will steal
they'll pick you clean of what happiness you feel.
You fucked up when you did what you do
so don't blame me the one to blame is you.
Cheshire Cat
- Tuesday, December 14, 1999 at 19:41:07 (PST)


I can still remember the day I met you
the shy boy in leather
and the first time we really spoke
you said you would not forget me
that I would not fade into the scenery like others
whose faces you could never tell apart
and the way you loved my best friend
if only you knew how I envied that
and when we went skiing together
I swore that experience was the worst
but I remember laughing so hard when I crashed into you
the countless hours in which we waited for her to get ready... scratching on the doors
and I taught you how to smoke
do you remember that day? we searched so hard for that one brand of ciggarettes that no one seemed to carry, and that big fat man with two lazy eyes asked about the third gear in your car
then we went back to her house and painted our portraits
I wonder if you ever knew that you were the only person I could feel completely safe around
where I wasnt the one fighting
and I wonder if you will know how much I will miss you
goddamn
I have to stop
Pretynd
- Tuesday, December 14, 1999 at 08:44:57 (PST)


I can still remember the day I met you
the shy boy in leather
and the first time we really spoke
you said you would not forget me
that I would not fade into the scenery like others
whose faces you could never tell apart
and the way you loved my best friend
if only you knew how I envied that
and when we went skiing together
I swore that experience was the worst
but I remember laughing so hard when I crashed into you
the countless hours in which we waited for her to get ready... scratching on the doors
and I taught you how to smoke
do you remember that day? we searched so hard for that one brand of ciggarettes that no one seemed to carry, and that big fat man with two lazy eyes asked about the third gear in your car
then we went back to her house and painted our portraits
I wonder if you ever knew that you were the only person I could feel completely safe around
where I wasnt the one fighting
and I wonder if you will know how much I will miss you
goddamn
I have to stop
Pretynd
- Tuesday, December 14, 1999 at 08:43:55 (PST)


I Miss PB&J!!!!
I want them to come and live with me
all the time
all the time
they could be my wine
would they want to ?
who cares?
I have decided that the whole world
revolves around me
and me alone
and by god I want my
PB&J
Pretynd
- Monday, December 13, 1999 at 18:45:46 (PST)


so i don't have flaxen hair
i'm not a size .05
crucify me

All I ask for is your humanity
with or without a sweet pickle on the side..
Eve
- Monday, December 13, 1999 at 16:04:16 (PST)


what she said
was it right
am i the hopeless one
the last of a breed

i want to know
was it easy
for her to leave
to just walk away
did she cry
did she wonder
if she could go back

did she stay up nights
feeling for my body

did she stay up nights
wishing on stars

does she remember
the day we met
does that memory never leave her

i remember
i stay awake
i cry

does she


Kenneth
- Monday, December 13, 1999 at 03:37:56 (PST)


I have a friend who's losing a friend
and the message I'm trying to send
is even though he's not around
doesn't mean he can't be found
So chin up and don't let so long be good bye
for such fairy tale happiness should never die
and if you need his smile it's easy to recall
and if you need his voice, well it's easy to call
I know I won't miss him like you
but hey what hurts you hurts me too
So cheer up it's not like he's dead...
and it's been said
vacations in Florida are nice :D
perhaps we could go see Mr.GlitterBoy once or twice...



Well J, this is the best I could do :( sorry if it didn't help any... and W I'm gonna miss you when you're gone.

"A friend is a friend be he by my side or across the world" - B
Cheshire Cat
- Sunday, December 12, 1999 at 20:11:58 (PST)


Everyone's favorite monster there at the bar
with a stout drink in hand shit faced can't be that far
He looks rather humble
as he sits there and mumbles
about how much he wants something more
than a shot of tequila and a stripping whore
so he pulls out a wad of bills and waves them in the air
like he's the top dog he doesn't care
and when they strip for him he feels real nice
but he wouldn't think twice
if he had a cookie in his blue fur
yes a cookie for the cookie monster.


I'm almost sad to put my name to that :(
Cheshire Cat
- Sunday, December 12, 1999 at 19:56:07 (PST)


I smother you in love and in bliss
when I give you a little hug or try to steal a kiss
and I would bring you flowers all the time
always your favorites and colors near lime.
Little nothings like a poem here or there
just the small stuff to show that I care.
My mind never leaves you nor would it try
for I finally got these wings and sure would love to fly.
I call you just to hear you speak
and somehow come to you just to steal a peek
You are such a dream come true
that sometimes I just have to reach out and touch you
just to make sure you're real
just to know how beauty feels.
Would you do me like I do you?
Would you smother me too?



It's not been a day and I miss you already Jessyca :(
Cheshire Cat
- Sunday, December 12, 1999 at 19:39:49 (PST)


young imagination

i let it flow
let it go
i don't know
how it will end
what it will show

the words just come out
feelings attacbed
all alone
so alone
i work

trying to please
a boy i once knew
who forgot his dreams
forgot who he was
forgot it all
the day i saw
i was grown

into the hours of midnight
working, working, working
trying to save the past
save a dream
into the hours of the moring
and forever on

the boy would be proud
i like to think
he'd like who i am
even if i can't

till the day
when it all slows down
i let it flow
let it go
i don't know
how it will end
what it will show




Kenneth
- Sunday, December 12, 1999 at 17:17:45 (PST)


Sweet humming of my digital device
Low thumpin of rain & of night
The breathing of the loved child
---
im closer now
closer than i would ever dare dreamin
2 u, me & life
---
found, rescued & restored
finally a part of human race
finally got the punchline…
---





K.
- Sunday, December 12, 1999 at 13:05:50 (PST)


If only heaven knew what I know


oh glitter boy
my hearts breaking
pretynd
- Sunday, December 12, 1999 at 12:25:00 (PST)


Thank You
Thanks to everyone

People,
Please bring me car floor mat donations
new or used
thank you
Thank You Very Much!!!!
- Sunday, December 12, 1999 at 08:35:31 (PST)


giving up
going home
bags are packed
things shut down
burning the bridges
i thought i never had

college drop out
crawling home
could not make it
could not survive

the place is a poison
when taken to long
the place brought me down
tore me apart
then threw me away

gonna get a job
work at the factory
hawk my computer
shelve my dreams

couple more years
listening to my father
brother made it
why can't i
why

close the door
bags in hand
set the bridge on fire
then crawl
back


Kenneth
- Saturday, December 11, 1999 at 01:30:33 (PST)


Hey .....its me again ....while Im at it talking shit
to granny while she rots and burns in hell, let me also
rip your ass a bit dad. Don't ever think you harmed us
in any way, you were just like granny. So everything
I just typed to her, ditto motherfucker, ditto to 'ya.
Heres hoping the weather sucks, the foods bad and there
is always a fly in your face. Yeah thats right motherfucker I hope you rot in hell right there next to
her. And don't be slow about it either.
~~``~~``~~``~~``~~``~~``~~``~~
- Friday, December 10, 1999 at 20:02:34 (PST)


I thought about this a long time, I wondered about
your sickness, about your shortcomings. I harbored
hate for you , I wanted to be your grandaughter, your
little girl, but that wasn't in the plan. Now that you
are finally dead I wonder if you ever had a clue what
an impact you had on us just by simply not being there,
ironic yes. I just found this place on the internet and I know you'll never read this because your shallow
soul burns in hell as I type this, but this is for me
this is what I should have made a special trip to the hospital for was to tell you how I look down on you ,
how I feel sorry for the pitiful existance you represented. And mostly I feel sorry that I didn't
tell you to go to hell. You were greedy, and needy.
I hope every night before I sleep that you are somewhere rotting in hell. So I bid you my final fare-
well. Sleep tight in Hell granny.
In the Memory of Eula Faye.......
- Friday, December 10, 1999 at 19:55:11 (PST)


Rage


Impulses of rage run up my spine
Into my mind
My evil demon comes to greet me,

The hate I have for you
Is the strongest hate
I start to shake,

I want to hurt you
I want to cause you pain
You make me insane,

My thoughts spinning round and round
I can here my heart pound
I've turned twisted,

You've brought me to the highest level
I've turned into the devil,

I'm not myself
I'm someone else.

Tracy
- Friday, December 10, 1999 at 19:15:29 (PST)


twisting autumn leaf,
a tumble across the road,
white flower in bloom.
cwick
- Friday, December 10, 1999 at 13:01:03 (PST)


I'm going to see R...V...D !

Again !!!


WOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Bub <=======8
- Friday, December 10, 1999 at 11:23:59 (PST)


Ebony midnight
I catch glimpse
of the angel shadows
through distant
window panes
after here
even angels
have to hide
their wings
I wish somebody
would hide me
Portia
- Friday, December 10, 1999 at 09:37:19 (PST)


She has been hurt 10 thousands tims before
So what makes you think she needs a little more

I think you need to stay away and be what you should be
She dont need U dont need pity an she dont need me

If she loves or loved at all believe me you would know
Whatevers there, cant hide long but soon it will show

She dont want right now...just let it be
If there is love for you, you soon will see.

Believe me, i will leave you at this
What will be will be, and it shall end in perfect bliss
A promise made is a promise kept
- Friday, December 10, 1999 at 09:00:47 (PST)


Many a night I lay awake and listen to you breathe
and in this complete happiness it was so hard to believe
that one night I would have to do with out this lovely lullaby
not to hear you when you slept in the bed of you and I
but it happened and now I sleep alone
with nothing but a shadow where once by moonlight you were shown...
and if you've heard this silence this truely wretched sound
the reason for my misery is by your hand found.


Cheshire Cat
- Thursday, December 09, 1999 at 22:06:03 (PST)


Rusty nails and love dread
splinters and a heart so red.
Lemon on a paper cut and a kiss from you to me
salt in my broken heart and your smile filled with glee.
Darkness when I am afraid and to hold you all night
blinded by the morning sun and you as the light.
Thunderstorms that terrify and to hold you for a time
lightning strikes, fire burns and with you torture sublime.
Cheshire Cat
- Thursday, December 09, 1999 at 21:28:47 (PST)


fuck you no fuck you
I mean really fuck you
you are simply put gross!
so stare and desire all
but the reality does remain
you will never ever know me
and that drives you insane
and it makes me smirk and smile

vixon.....lustful
Anonymous by choice
- Thursday, December 09, 1999 at 21:23:26 (PST)


you think you have me
but really you dont
im my own community
with inner strength
I believe in myself
to see me through it
you wont break me never
that is for sure
- Thursday, December 09, 1999 at 19:32:14 (PST)


Jane my dream reached you
I miss you so very, very much
I love you
I don't want to wake up next time
Eve
- Thursday, December 09, 1999 at 19:11:47 (PST)


and when I was sitting alone
a young man approached
wet shoes, dry land,
who squeaked when he walked
but he was the type of man
who you would wonder,
if he didnt always.
and he paused in front of me
and carefully sat beside
extended a hand and said
"hello"
then a car reached the curb
with only one headlight
no less
and the young man frowned
"I'm sorry but I must go"
and he rose
and walked away from me
wet shoes squeaking on
dry land

Portia
- Thursday, December 09, 1999 at 17:58:28 (PST)


Someone I'm Not

Who am I to you,
I am not me at all.
I lost my personality,
and lean against the wall.
I walk slowly ot the mirror,
and guess what I see.
Myself looking back,
but it's really not me.
Sure I look the same,
but only on the out.
In myself I can't let show,
I whine and pout.
Can I break free,
to someone I forgot?
Let me be me for once,
not someone I'm not.
Squirt
- Thursday, December 09, 1999 at 13:37:30 (PST)


Look here Slapnuts!

I'm the chosen one and I own this damn website!
JJ
- Thursday, December 09, 1999 at 13:22:14 (PST)


I'd like to thank everyone
who made this moment possible
thank you
thank you very much
Thank you
- Wednesday, December 08, 1999 at 22:56:20 (PST)


Mirror Soul

You understand and yet you know nothing
to be so blind and see all must be bliss
For you dance in your own little house of mirrors
and you think you see what you miss
Watch the windows that let you see
the horrid wretch you have become
I speak not of the mirrors in which you gaze
but the eyes that tell of a soul frozen numb
Please beware of the twists and turns
of this hell in which you see yourself true
I'll bet it doesn't feel so grand
when being fooled by the villanous you.
The way out isn't as easy as the way in
as you have now puzzled out
and as you try so hard to leave
perhaps then you will know what it's all about
It's not the hall of eternal mirrors
with it's demented turns and torturous deception
that makes it the hell you see with your eyes dimly bright
but just another way to test your perception
of your soul frozen stiff in it's prison of weary stone

Cheshire Cat
- Wednesday, December 08, 1999 at 20:31:34 (PST)


Game Piece
pawn
pick me up and move me
I'm your queen baby thats me
and I've got a little handle on this
I wanna play
kick you all around
tired of all the times it was me
working behind your scenes
sweeping up the peices
as to not clutter your board
but i learned to play to
many times with my broom
thought me to slow to learn
but I never lose
I will play you all
I will play you all

Portia
- Wednesday, December 08, 1999 at 18:19:27 (PST)


I've made my peace with something I don't know
There's a reason some things never go
Will I find the will?
Will I find the way?
Will I find the reason somethings never stay?

I've given pieces of me I don't know
I found the reason some things never grow
Well I found the will
And I found the way
And I found the reason somethings fade away

Give me my choice
Give me my voice

Will I find the will to fight you?
Will I find the will to stay?
Will I find the will to spite you?
Everything you can not say

Well I found the will to fight you
And I found the will to stay
And I can not seem to find you any other way

I dare you to love me
I dare you to love me
I dare you to love me
I dare you...


Copyright 1999 Nectar Music
Tuesday
- Wednesday, December 08, 1999 at 17:07:14 (PST)


This prison Im in ......well I found out just now that
I have the key !!! Fucken-A !! I've got the key!
Im gonna divorce your old ass......trade in your 50
year old ass for two 25 year olds HAHAHAHAH FUCKEN HA!

















Seein the Light Baby !!!!!!!!
- Wednesday, December 08, 1999 at 16:30:01 (PST)


breaking the walls down
i told you i care

breaking the walls down
i told you i'd return

breaking the walls down
i told you i'm the one

breaking the walls down
i told you i will not cry

breaking the walls down
i told you i wouldn't die

breaking the walls down
i told you the past

breaking the walls down
i told you the future

breaking the walls down
i told you no lies

the wall shall crumble



Kenneth
- Wednesday, December 08, 1999 at 02:39:07 (PST)


Sally Green Eyes

sally green eyes
loved her so

first grade love
playground romance
so pure
so unlike
today

sarah blue eyes
loved her so

middle school relationships
holding hands after school
as i walked her home
taught me what it meant
to kiss

donna brown eyes
loved her so

high school sweetheart
parked in a car
after the game
showed me worlds
never known

sally green eyes
loved her so

college crush
fallow her around
try and tell her of a time
we'd been a couple
but sally green eyes
don't lover me no more




Kenneth
- Wednesday, December 08, 1999 at 02:30:25 (PST)


Something I Said

went back home
walked the streets
saw things that changed
saw things that stayed the same
same old drunk
sitting on the corner
a new store for him to buy his booze

stood in front of a place
a place i used to play
stood under a tree
a tree i used to climb
wasn't it higher
way back when

saw a young man
who had been a trouble boy
last time we'd met
good job, he'd said
sober, he told me
all because of something you said, he finished

i went home
thinking it had forgotten me
then found out
something i had said
was heard


Kenneth
- Wednesday, December 08, 1999 at 02:20:16 (PST)


To Vent, To Lose

thought she was an angel
decending from heaven
that look in her eyes when i walked in

said she would listen
to whatever i had to say
claimed total honesty

told her my problems
told her my dreams
told her my nightmares

told her i loved her
told her she was the one and only
gave her my heart

she told me i was too intense
she told me to leave
she told me goodbye

she took my problems and increased them
she took my dreams and smashed them
she took my nightmares and made them true

now i wonder
is it always this way
now i wonder

what is it like
never to vent

what is it like
never to lose


Kenneth
- Wednesday, December 08, 1999 at 00:42:00 (PST)


College Boy

college boy now
a whole new mentality
everyone watching

you gotta excel
they say through smiles
gotta get a good job
forget the dreams of making money from the pen
go into business, be a doctor
anything
just make us proud son

just make us money son
so you can take care of us someday
buy our drugs
so we can ignore you more

open your eyes son
listen as i speak
gotta make us proud
like we never were

college boy now
hating the life
gonna be a doctor, a business man
carry a brief case
wear a suit

picking up the pen at night
dreams are stonger...
...i hope


Kenneth
- Wednesday, December 08, 1999 at 00:33:46 (PST)


My Depression

its my depression
it belongs to me
everyone has there own
but don't try and pretend yours is like mine
its nothing like mine

sitting in my chair
letting everyone down
why can't i get off my ass
make my parents proud
make my father eat the words
the words he spoke
that night

never gonna be nothin' boy
never gonna have no job
never gonna be happy
you gonna be like me
lame like
bastard kids

its my depression
can you understand
don't ask me how i feel today
don't ask me why the frown
its my depression
it belongs to me


Kenneth
- Wednesday, December 08, 1999 at 00:28:06 (PST)


"The Truths"

The truth is 70 other mother fuckers like the
complete shit I wrote to you
and put it all over the shitter net
and you called it morbid
then you turned dyke
and wont wash my clothes
and to top it off
you wont get off your lazy ass
and bring me chicken at work,when I'm hungry
hungry for chicken
god damn you
Anonymous
- Tuesday, December 07, 1999 at 22:22:30 (PST)


Ask yourself this:

What is truth? Are my truths the same as yours?
unknown piolet speaking to GOD.
- Tuesday, December 07, 1999 at 21:07:41 (PST)


WET
WET
WET
Anonymous
- Tuesday, December 07, 1999 at 19:33:09 (PST)


Why does thall hate me
Why musent thee love again
Let thy know how one feels
You and I...

"WE"...

Will ALWAYS remain

AT ONE
I Shall LOVE Thee For ALL Time
- Tuesday, December 07, 1999 at 12:37:55 (PST)


Listen here Slapnuts!




I'm the Chosen One!
Chosen One
- Tuesday, December 07, 1999 at 07:28:42 (PST)


BEHOLD THEIR LAMENT
Behold their lament,
Tears augment the early hour, as cries of sorrow ring in the air,
Her love has fallen from her,
She watches from a distance, he slowly walks away,
He turns to look, a tear gracing his darkened face,
Her head falls in sorrow, tears pool at her feet,
With each tear a memory fails,
With each tear her joy falls,
He smiles, a nervous laugh parts his lips, thinking of the times they had,
His mind knows he must turn, and leave,
His heart knows if she were to call to him,
He would turn without a thought and fall into her arms,
She turns,
Her eyes glowing with one last hope,
She calls his name, her voice cracking with tears,
He knows he must turn,
His heart screams, run to her, fall into her arms,
He turns away, walking into the night,
The sounds of a shattering hearts echo through the night,
With the Reaper taking one more Juliet.




Tim "DREAMMAKER6" Arigo
- Tuesday, December 07, 1999 at 06:45:10 (PST)


You say I'm nice
you say I'm kind
My touch is ice
I've lost my mind
where do you see this
when I do not fit
I'm worth a little piss
and a whole lot of shit
I don't want to be what I'm not
you don't want me to be what I am
because then I'll forget what I've got
and anything else won't be worth a damn
So think of me not when I give you words so sweet
not as nice or kind or anything
for with my words you will meet
The tortures in which hell can bring.
Cheshire Cat
- Monday, December 06, 1999 at 18:08:22 (PST)


Your eyes can be so cruel
and I hate you for it
I think I am the fool
for not leaving when you treat me like shit
Your voice can be so cold
in that loving-hate sort of way
Perhaps I will be a little bold
and leave this cold winter's day
but then you need me as I have you so many times before
So I come back and hold you as you cry
It's times like this I feel like the whore
It's times like this I wish I could die
After I tuck you in I think perhaps tomorrow
but it never comes and I'm still in pain
do you know of this sorrow?
Why do you let it continue to rain?
I love you but you don't see
that you are everything above and below me.
Cheshire Cat
- Monday, December 06, 1999 at 17:54:19 (PST)


settled now and forever
I clense my mind of you
you have only teased my
mind and not the heart of
mine as that is my weakness
in my heart lies only you
rumbling skies and jacky's back
this is as good as it does get!
lot less headache and more heartache
that is the only way to get to me...I'm afraid.
through my heart and not my already taken brain.
You can do this, oyes you can...take those energies
bring them to me and let me for real feel the pain
and then you can call yourself a fly who can make me suffer by buzzing it on a continum which doesnt get ruffer.

I know u ... u know me
- Monday, December 06, 1999 at 15:05:12 (PST)


Get well soon my little honey........Ilove you









Anonymous/BE
- Monday, December 06, 1999 at 14:32:21 (PST)


"End of a Dream"

Would you come back to me
and we can begin to live
the dream never felt
your loves summers gift

would you come back to me
while the feelings live and strong
echoing thru and right into
the thought of any note

the end of lifes love dream
all conciousness turns to logic
in asking her to commit to a fantasy of hope
only destiny trades no value in memory once stole

stalemate I am free
and you need new lies told
promises divided heartfilled dependency
void the end
our love
our love
our love

forgiveness isnt easy
theres really going to be no one
tomorrow could have lead us to believe
with our love together we could have gotten free
within
and save a undying lust



Written by Travis Ray Cole{c}1999
- Sunday, December 05, 1999 at 23:16:01 (PST)


"Oh ,Come back to me"

Would you come back to me
and we can begin to live
the dream never felt
your loves summers gift

would you come back to me
while the feelings live and strong
echoing thru and right into
the thought of any note

the end of lifes love dream
all conciousness turns to logic
in asking her to commit to a fantasy of hope
only destiny trades no value in memory once stole

stalemate I am free
and you need new lies told
promises divided heartfilled dependency
void the end
our love
our love
our love

forgiveness isnt easy
theres really going to be no one
tomorrow could have lead us to believe
with our love together we could have gotten free
within
and save a undying lust


Travis Ray Cole
- Sunday, December 05, 1999 at 22:26:24 (PST)


I love you but you don't see.
Blinded by his eyes
there is no room for me in this forgotten fantasy
so my last dream dies.
I wake up to a new world one without your love
the floor is cold the showers hot.
Gray drains the blue from above
what was is now not.
I can't live like this I need you
but how can I compare
to he who is to you
what I would only dare.
So I go on with blistered feet
walking these hot coals we call a life
no chance will I meet
so give me my knife...
I hate you to love him, why can't you see?
that he is just another heart break.
When will you look at me,
what will it take?
Cheshire Cat
- Sunday, December 05, 1999 at 12:42:40 (PST)


Can I handle another day
Another hour
Another minute
Why can't I find away
Is there a way
I can't cope
My weekend soul
Keeps getting weeker
Soon there will be nothing left
My unknowledged mind
Can never seem to find the answer
Always making wrong choices
Doing everything wrong
I'm to deep in my mistakes
To far to fix them
IT'S TO LATE
Tracy
- Sunday, December 05, 1999 at 11:30:53 (PST)


"Leave her, I love you"

I need your blond hair in my teeth
I need you underneath
do my laundry
I need you in the kitchen
be my bitch
kiss me
don't you snintch
dont you snitch
we could really be
if you leave that lezzie
you could just have me
just like it should be
I love you
so then fuck you
yeah fuck you

Anonymous
- Sunday, December 05, 1999 at 08:39:13 (PST)


"I want you so bad"

Your not the millinium ho
I wanna know
in fact
little baby

you can go
you can go
Go away with your no brainer
I don't care no more

its not worth my time to argue with you about nothing

Anonymous
- Sunday, December 05, 1999 at 08:25:38 (PST)


satan loaded the soup train
with gifts for the good people of the world
the happy shiney people
and he hooked it to the bartenders asses
so she could pull it
like the plow her mama before her use to pull
{keeping within the family tradition}
she pulled it and pulled it until
on one 90 degree and jackknifed
and in the turn it broke in half
and then the half pulling it landed on top
of the other half and went for miles and miles
like a big who song across the other half of the
buttocks ala bartender
so satan needed a map
does anyone have a map?
- Sunday, December 05, 1999 at 08:16:32 (PST)


to be the one she wanted
how lucky would i be
to be the one she passed on bye
is how lucky i am

left behind
called a friend
when all i wanted
was to hold her
touch her
tell her

still talk to her
talk about him
and i remember a night
when i had a chance
a chance to hold
a chance to feel
a chance to love
a chance i missed
i missed everyday
since

now she talks about him
and i wonder
always wonder
never know


Kenneth
- Sunday, December 05, 1999 at 01:28:15 (PST)


As the search went on they combed the bartenders ass
for the missing Mars Polar Lander probe
we watched we prayed we waited
but none of the other reindeer
could pull the soup train

Anonymous
- Sunday, December 05, 1999 at 01:22:11 (PST)


Thomas J. Whitmore




1965-1998




Bruce
- Saturday, December 04, 1999 at 22:58:52 (PST)


Valesquez Scarbacci



1953-1998
Bruce
- Saturday, December 04, 1999 at 22:57:47 (PST)


Drake Callaway



1964-1998
Bruce
- Saturday, December 04, 1999 at 22:56:39 (PST)


lifted my head
to look out the window
the world was gone
had left in my sleep

looking out into blackness i wondered
had you been thinking of me
when you ceased to exist
was i the face you saw
the lips you felt
the name you called out

i look out and wonder
did the bills get paid
did the fat cats eat
their steak dinner and lobster
did they get one last chance to laugh
laugh at me

i see a spec in the distance
i see that spec and wonder
is that whats left of my life
is that the legacy i left behind
will my grandsons say
"oh thanks for the speck"
then turn away

i woke up and saw
saw the world had ended
thought of you
thought of life
too late to change
its gone


Kenneth
- Saturday, December 04, 1999 at 22:32:59 (PST)


I smell Atom...........woops! That was only
the dogshit on my shoo !

The Bartenders Ass was so big, that eventually
people got used to looking at it and no longer
even noticed it. It was just a big ass.



"You betta watch out, you betta not pout", "santa's claws are 'comin to town"








<
:":":"":":":":":":"":":":":":":":":":":":":":":":":":":




Pamella~
- Saturday, December 04, 1999 at 21:24:26 (PST)


One night of passion
One night of lust
A night of romance
A night of love,

You holding me
Me holding you
You inside of me
Me on top of you,

One night
A night that meant something to me
But not to you,

A night you forgot
A night I remember,

A night I thought was something
A night that turned out to be nothing.




Anonymous
- Saturday, December 04, 1999 at 15:12:31 (PST)


I Am a.k.a The Grasshopper

i am
watching you
from where
i don't know

i am
seeing you
for the first time
for the last

i am
new at this
at the love you give
at the love i take

i am
going to stay
forever in
never out
of you arms
of your love

i am
cool and collected
as i wait on the corner
you'll be here any minute
i'll wait

i am
quiet
as i wait
in the ditch
you can't see me
i wait

i am
seeing you with him
"oh well"
love never lasts
in my eyes

i am
the GRASSHOPPER
jumping away
from a short life
with you
Kenneth
- Saturday, December 04, 1999 at 12:22:41 (PST)


~The Question~

To the sky I look
Look for answer
To a question whispered
Long ago

Asked by a young man
At the end of a line
With no place to go
No place but down

Since then it’s been asked
By thousands of lips
The most asked question
Remained unanswered
Yet still people looked
Sometimes not alone
Up to the sky
Looked for an answer
That may never come

Giving up is not an option
Someone has to hear

A simple question
(What's the point?)
I stare to the sky
Whisper to the stars
Wait for the answer
That may never come
Kenneth
- Saturday, December 04, 1999 at 11:56:15 (PST)


Will you ever be mine?

You've picked me up when i was down,
You've told me that you care,
But you are with another,
and she cannot love you as i love you,
could you ever be mine??
to hold, and kiss,
Will you ever wrap your arms tight around my cold body
and keep me warm throughout the night?
No, you love the other one,
She is truly the luckiest girl alive.
You've never heard me cry for you,
each night before i sleep.
My pillow is soaked with crystalline tears
that you will never see,
that you will never care about
because you have eyes for only her.
Could you, Would you, Will you ever be mine??
Broken Down
- Saturday, December 04, 1999 at 11:12:58 (PST)


"Oh My God"
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHH
ITS SOMETHING IN MY HEAD THATS MISSING A BEAT
STILL INVISIONING YOU.
still moving.

"Heels and Firearms"
Yes, Ladies and gentlemen we have a winner
and she is a winner fair and square
Im a fool
Id be a fool not to
she has it
I want it
shes everything I ever dreamed of
a beautiful
rip my heart out
dream angel
only taller
only better
only a goddess
only everything
blonde moving in my perimeter
in my sights
in the distance
she is gone
Gone
- Saturday, December 04, 1999 at 00:24:06 (PST)


la la bla
Anonymous
- Friday, December 03, 1999 at 21:49:49 (PST)


I'm happy with my sadness
I block out all my stress,

I'm comfortable with my pain
I try not to strain my brain,

My anger I hide
Or maybe just keep it inside,

With all my screams and cries
I'm dieing, but alive,

A tear in the corner of my eye
I quickly wipe it away with a smile,

I just look on the bright side
Or just pretend there's one,

Things wont be this way forever
They'll get better


Tracy
- Friday, December 03, 1999 at 21:44:44 (PST)


I'm happy with my sadness
I block out all my stress,

I'm comfortable with my pain
I try not to strain my brain,

My anger I hide
Or maybe just keep it inside,

With all my screams and cries
I'm dieing, but alive,

A tear in the corner of my eye
I quickly wipe it away with a smile,

I just look on the bright side
Or just pretend there's one,

Things wont be this way forever
They'll get better


Tracy
- Friday, December 03, 1999 at 21:16:51 (PST)


i love you
u love me
were a happy f---ing family

with alot of orgies

and a f--- form me to u

wont you say youll f--- me too!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!
!!!!!!
!!!!!
!!!!
!!!
!!
!
Anonymous
- Friday, December 03, 1999 at 20:20:39 (PST)


It's only now
Now that you believe you are who I wanted you to be

that sliver of a crescent moon
of a boy whose crown has fallen
I was always the one
picking up
polishing your fallen comets
and dissapearing into thin air
when you required quiet
so conveniently

I don't need your acceptance
to feel adequate
and I found something inside
and I love it
it is probably more of a man than you'd ever be
little little boy
something you could never fashion or furnish

passion
dragged through the mire
too cold for hot
yet WET for fire


(Fishbook I)


Eve
- Friday, December 03, 1999 at 18:51:32 (PST)


How much can one love...
How many beats can the heart take...
How come I ALWAYS get the shove...
How come my heart is the one to break...

I need someone to show how they feel...
I need to know where I stand...
I need love that is for real...
I need someone to hold my hand...

I know that you can be the one...
I know that I can give you time...
I know that "together" we have fun...
I know I wish that you were mine...

Im always here if you need a friend...
Because in my heart is where you stand...

If you decied to love in return...
My love for you will forever burn.




Kissings
- Friday, December 03, 1999 at 14:12:51 (PST)


Unheard tears...again

My Love sleeps with peaceful eyes.
Sleeps through the night, untouched by grief.
When tears flow, without end,
Until slumber overtakes the pain,
due to uncertainty, about all things,
due to absolute fear
of standing on the shores of lonliness
without end.
With nothing else to discover.
With no desire for discovery,
screaming for resolution,
but not finding any.
These re-ocurring nights are becoming natural,
becoming a niche, a feeling felt so often,
due to my every observation.
My every feeling of lonliness ever felt.
I will cry myself to sleep once again,
wishing for even the coldest of embrace.
eyes_open
- Friday, December 03, 1999 at 10:35:16 (PST)


take all your money outta the bank
hide it hide it in your tank
Anonymous
- Friday, December 03, 1999 at 06:44:32 (PST)


People think they know me
Say I'm wound a little tight
Tell me I go looking for trouble
That I'm always ready for a fight
But I'm just an easy going guy
Not crossing any line
I'm a carin' Individual
Most all the time
Most all the time
Try alot of the time

Sometimes I drink a little Beer
Sometimes I make a little Mess
Sometimes I get a little Angry
Sometimes I kick a little Ass
Well, you know sometimes I kick alot of Ass
Oh Hell Yeah
Some people seem unhappy
With certain things I say
They seem to think I'm impolite
That I'm tautared in someway
But I'm just an easy going guy
And I appreciate their advice
I believe in self-improvement
And always being nice
Well, sometimes being nice, occasionally Being nice...

It's Just That

Sometimes I drink a little Beer
Sometimes I make a little Mess
Sometimes I get a little Angry
Sometimes I kick a little Ass



Oh Hell Yeah!
SCSA
- Thursday, December 02, 1999 at 23:03:30 (PST)


Degenerate into something fool
We just got tired of doin' what ya told us to do
That's the breaks boy,
Yeeeaahhhhhh That's the breaks little man

Break it down!

Well you better get used to the way the ball bounces
I see what ya got, it measures in ounces
But that's the breaks boy
That's the breaks little man


Break it down!


Yo, tell me what it's like to be half a man

It must break your heart to see what I am!



Degeneration X
S*CK IT
- Thursday, December 02, 1999 at 23:00:12 (PST)


Buns of glory...

Buns of steel...

Your eyes will give away the truth of how I feel...

You walk behind me, I feel the heat

That's why the girls don't walk behind me down the street...

I'm an assman, Yeahhhh, I'm an assman
Yes, I'm an assman
Assman2
- Thursday, December 02, 1999 at 22:53:59 (PST)


Step into the town and break the wall down

Your heart beat is the only sound

Step into the light and then you'll know




You were stopped and dropped by the Walls of Jericho
Break it down
- Thursday, December 02, 1999 at 22:52:05 (PST)


I'm an ass man
Yeah I'm an ass man...Yeahhhhhhh
I love to love 'em,
I love to kick 'emI love to shove 'em,
I love to stick 'em
Love to flaunt 'em,
I love to watch 'em
I love to pick 'em,
And I'm gonna kick 'em
Cause I'm an assman,
Yeaahhhh, I'm an assman
Yes, I'm an assman
Ohh oh oh
I'm an assman


So many asses, So little time


A little tight one, Can stop me on the dime

I'm a lover, Of every kind

The best surprises always sneak up from behind

I'm an assman, Yeahhh,
I'm an assmanYes,
I'm an assman, Ohh oh oh





I'm an assman
Assman
- Thursday, December 02, 1999 at 22:49:35 (PST)


"Miscarriage"

I left a garbage can at your house
so you can shit it out
and live as free as you want
for twenty dollars
yeah twenty dollars
for twenty crack sores
ahhhhhhhhhhhhowwwwwww
spread it round some more
why dont ya fill it up
just like a coffee cup
or antenna you can suck
right there in the bathroom
brillo padded laugh room
cheatin on him with a coat hanger
away in the manger
whos your daddy big daddy stranger

gimmie my garbage can back
you aint no great piece of ass
and need one more bath or a rehab up you badge
{chorus}
garbage can
garbage can
baby fill it up fast as you can
mama said
- Thursday, December 02, 1999 at 22:45:34 (PST)


"I want money"

I want to send a fruitcake to granny for christmas
and there are'nt worth much
but they are'nt free
I wanna send a fruit cake to granny for christmas
and you know they don't grow on trees

I want money
I want money
its sounds kinda funny
but you just wait and see

{repeat}

$
- Thursday, December 02, 1999 at 22:36:08 (PST)


"Please leave her"

Just leave her
please
Ill be your man

you can be my everything
I need you
or so I think
just fuck her
leave it all
I ll do everything I can
we can have a life together
you dont really love her
just forget him
I can last forever
you dont need an excuse to want anything better
we think alike we so try
just leave her
I love you more
and shes not worth
what you sacrafice for
you dont love him
I love you more
forget her
and remember what I am there for
at every thought.
LIES
- Thursday, December 02, 1999 at 22:30:17 (PST)


"ITS A SAD AND LONELY CHRISTMAS"

theres no use to kill a tree for god
theres no use to prey for snow
its to cold inside to wanna die
and theres no water saved for y2k
well at least
not on the ground level of my home

if the world wont end
we'll have to take the movies back again
and wrap christmas lights around the bartenders ass
or head out to seattle with guns
baby baby baby
dont ya wanna stand on top the bartenders asses
and watch the sunrise after
the prehistoric whores have
stolen the musuem pieces and art
die hitler leech we wanna stand on the bartenders asses
when she gets beached
baby baby baby
I wanna live in the waste
I wanna be there in case
you love me
Anonymous
- Thursday, December 02, 1999 at 22:22:26 (PST)


WE WANT THE BARTENDERS ASS
WE WANT THE BARTENDERS ASSES
WE WANT THE BARTENDERS ASS
SHES THE BEST THING THAT EVER HAPPEN TO US
ONE BURBON ONE SCHOTCH
AND YES
THE JUKE BOX IS NOW ELCLIPSED BY
ITS
ITS
ITS GODZILLA?
NO
ITS THE ANTICHRIST
NO ITS JUST THE LITTLE OL BARTENDER
AND HER GREAT BIG ASS
WHY,ITS MORPHING INTO THE UNKNOWN
ONE CHEEK IS TAKING ON A NEW FORM
SOME SHAPES
UNDESCRIBABLE
THE OTHER CHEEK IS TURNING INTO A MAN PART HORSE
ITS A POOL TABLE
ITS A SWIMMING POOL
ITS A LANDING STRIP
ITS A BRIDGE OVER TROUBLED WATERS
HERE IT COMES NOW
IT HAS A FACE
AND ITS LOOKING RIGHT AT YOU
MAYBE IT COULD CLEAR THIS ALL UP
FOR US?

HEY!!!
BARTENDERS ASSES!!!

OVER HERE,OH SHIT.
ARE YOU MALE OR FEMALE?
WHOA LOOK AT ITS TEETH
THAT THINGS A KILLER
IF WE COULD MOUNT A SATTLITE ON IT WE COULD WATCH......
Anonymous
- Thursday, December 02, 1999 at 22:09:18 (PST)


feed into
read into
feed into
read into
feed into
read into
believe in the lies
Anonymous
- Thursday, December 02, 1999 at 21:55:44 (PST)


Do you people like the Bartender's Ass ?

Do ya?

Do ya really?

You like to talk about it, and post things about it?

So you like the Bartender's Ass
Well that's great, you like his ass...

There's something special I'd like to do with that Ass


You can take the Bartender's Ass...

Wipe it off real good...

Go down to the big and tall men's store...

Find the biggest pair of underwear you can find...

Squeeze his Fat ass into them...

Them take His Entire 255 pound Ass...







TURN THAT SUMBITCH SIDEWAYS !

and Stick it Strait Up Your CANDY ASS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dwayne Johnson
- Thursday, December 02, 1999 at 20:06:18 (PST)


Take your vitamins

Say your prayers

Drink your milk





anonymous
- Thursday, December 02, 1999 at 19:55:37 (PST)


Kill Whitey
Anonymous
- Thursday, December 02, 1999 at 19:51:32 (PST)


FEEL BETTER?

Does it make you feel better?
To hate me.
Closing your eyes.
Bite your tongue-
The damage done.
I am the killer
The one who cries...


?understand?
kissing
- Thursday, December 02, 1999 at 16:23:28 (PST)


What should fellows as I do
crawling between earth and heaven
....
- Thursday, December 02, 1999 at 13:30:53 (PST)


its true i love you now and forever
why are you doing this to us?
Anonymous
- Wednesday, December 01, 1999 at 21:36:21 (PST)


Is it not a sin to eat from this forbidden tree?
I mean theres all kinds of other places we could dine at

why dont we go to that place round the corner
we could get a booth in the back
we mustnt eat from the forbidden tree
I really dont think its such a good Ideal
Crunch
- Wednesday, December 01, 1999 at 21:17:26 (PST)


THREE CHEERS FOR ADAM!!
HIP HIP HOORAY!!!!!!!
HIP HIP HOORAY!!!!!!!
HIP HIP HOORAY!!!!!!!
I MEAN IT'S NOT EVERYDAY SOMEONE CAN ADMIT TO NOT BEING ABLE TO GET IT UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



feeling a little limp are we?


THREE CHEERS FOR THE BARTENDER'S ASS!!
HIP HIP HOORAY!!!!!!!
HIP HIP HOORAY!!!!!!!
HIP HIP HOORAY!!!!!!!
I MEAN IT'S NOT EVERYDAY THAT WE FIND SOMETHING BIGGER THAN ADAM'S EGO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


AND THREE CHEERS FOR THE PERSON WHO'S NOT POSTING ANYMORE!!!
HIP HIP HOORAY!!!!!!!
HIP HIP HOORAY!!!!!!!
HIP HIP HOORAY!!!!!!!
I MEAN IT'S NOT EVERYDAY PEOPLE GET TIRED OF HEARING THIS SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!



i think i'm going to go shoot myself now!!!!!!
Anonymous
- Wednesday, December 01, 1999 at 21:06:28 (PST)


why dont you just leave her
I love you you know that
I want you she dont
you can be my everything
I wanted you since forever

Anonymous
- Wednesday, December 01, 1999 at 20:59:36 (PST)


I'll never write anymore on this loser page
you can just forget it
so there
Anonymous
- Wednesday, December 01, 1999 at 20:57:06 (PST)


The Second Coming

1

The second coming arrived on Broadway and 42nd Street
just before New Years Eve. He stood
in his robe, scraggly beard and sandals,
appearing a little dazed, or maybe just ethereal.
He looked like he belonged there.

"Where is this place?" he asked a passerby in Times Square.
"What!" said the incredulous man. "Who the fuck are you?"
"Jesus," said the second coming.
"Hey," said the incredulous man, "no need to curse, but
you do look like him."
He directed the second coming to Madison Ave.

The second coming stepped out of a cab on Madison
a few blocks from Grand Central Station. He had no money,
but even a New York City cab driver respects a good miracle.
A sign said, "The J. Walter Thompson Agency."
The second coming entered.

Sitting before the man who would become his agent,
the second coming explained about God and Salvation
and Peace and how much God loved purple flowers.
The agent thought he was nuts.
But there was something compelling about this man
in his robe, scraggly beard and sandals,
appearing a little dazed, or maybe just ethereal.

"Maybe we should call the Pope," said the agent.
"Who," asked the second coming?
"It's too complicated to explain.
Maybe we should call a news conference."

The agent called the New York Times and the New York Post
and the Washington Post and the Daily News
and the National Enquirer, the American Spectator,
ABC, NBC, CBS, CNN, The Christian Broadcasting Network,
the Christian Science Monitor, various Web site providers,
the White House, and his mother.

The second coming and his agent stepped out of a cab
in front of St. Patrick's Cathedral (it was the agent's idea).
The second coming looked at the tall spired building.
The cross made him wince. He looked down at his feet,
rubbed his hands together, scratched his forehead.

"Where is this place," asked the second coming?
"St. Patrick's Cathedral," said the agent. "It's a church."
"A what?" "It's too complicated to explain."

It was a slow news day,
so lots of reporters came for the second coming.
They brought notebooks and tape recorders and microphones
on boom stands and cameras, satellite uplinks
technicians, toys and perfect haircuts.

The second coming stood on the steps of St. Patrick's Cathedral.
He explained about God and Salvation
and Peace and how much God loved purple flowers.

The reporters held their notebooks
like they were covering a stump speech,
but there was something compelling about this man
in his robe, scraggly beard and sandals,
appearing a little dazed, or maybe just ethereal.

"What's your position on abortion," someone asked?
"On what," asked the second coming? "Baby killing,"
said the man from the Christian Broadcasting Network.
"It's a sin to kill babies."

And the headline read:
"The Second Coming Has Come, Condemns Abortion."
The agent was pleased with the coverage.
The second coming was confused.

An editorial in the New York Times cautioned.
The Christian Science Monitor applauded.
USA Today ran an eight-inch story with color charts of
Jerusalem and Bethlehem.
CNN tried to get him on Larry King Live.
Someone called the President.
Someone called the Vatican.

The agent booked a suite at the Trump Plaza.
The second coming preferred to sleep with the homeless
on a steam grate in front of Tiffany's. He talked to the homeless
of God and Salvation and Peace and
how much God loves purple flowers, until a policeman
rousted him and said he couldn't sleep there.
So he slept on a bench in Central Park.

2

The second coming was not good news to the Vatican.
The Pope made oblique, noncommittal statements
about "this figure who has appeared"
and tried to keep his options open.
He worried.

The President weighed the political benefits of embracing
the second coming, and the possibility that the second coming
was a scam. He knew about scams.

The President ordered the FBI to do a background check
on the second coming's agent and the CIA
to look for coded messages in his words
about God and Salvation and Peace
and how much God loved purple flowers.
He worried.

The Christian Coalition liked his stance on abortion, and so
embraced him immediately. They printed millions
of voter guides with a check box for which candidates
supported the second coming and which ones did not.
They didn't worry. They felt righteous.

The media fumed because
the second coming didn't do interviews.
So they interviewed scholars and pundits,
rabbis and priests, monks and nuns,
and mothers superior. Peter Jennings walked
through virtual reality sets of Jerusalem and Bethlehem.
Geraldo called it "the greatest story since O.J."
Steven Bochco plotted the TV series.
The networks looked for sponsors.

Birkenstock brought out a new line of sandals
like the ones the second coming wore. Ralph Loren marketed
a now familiar looking robe. Trendy students and rock n' rollers
grew scraggly beards and hung out at Tower Records.
Kids went to school with second coming lunch boxes.
The agent collected royalties.
The second coming slept in Central Park
and attracted crowds.

3

The second coming made the agent nervous.
The agent experienced a spiritual awakening. He started
to spend more time in Central Park and less time
at second coming headquarters in his Plaza suite.
The agent still wore his blue suit, white shirt,
red tie and black shoes, but
he thought of giving up his cellular phone and his beeper.

The agent tried to get the second coming
to read The New York Times and watch CNN.
The second coming listened to the homeless
who came to hear him talk about God and Salvation
and Peace and how much God loved purple flowers.

4

The second coming's second news conference
drew reporters from around the world. They brought notebooks
and tape recorders and microphones on boom stands and cameras,
satellite uplinks technicians, toys and perfect haircuts.
They snarled traffic all over Manhattan.

"Would you clarify your position on abortion," a reporter asked?
"I have no position on abortion," said the second coming.
"But it was reported that you said..."
"That was incorrect. My agent will supply you with a transcript."
The second coming was no longer confused.

A Gnostic scholar asked, "Can you put an end to speculation
that you had relations with Mary Magdalene?"
"Yes, I can," said the second coming.
The crowd leaned forward.
"Stop speculating."

"The Pope has refused to declare that
you are the legitimate second coming."
"Render unto the Pope what is the Pope's.
When he leaves his castle and gets down here
in the streets with the rest of us,
then he'll have an opinion worth considering."

Asked about welfare reform, he said:
"We should not turn our backs on the poor."
On the Middle East: "Those people have never gotten along."
On Rwanda: "Feed the people and there will be peace."
On Newt Gingrich and Bill Clinton: "Father forgive them.
They know not..."
On the Christian Coalition: "They're using my name
without my permission."
On premarital sex: "Is this something new?"
On homosexuality: "Is this something new?"
On the current state of the world:
"It's pretty much as I left it, just more crowded."
"Why have you come back?"
"Because it's time."
"Thank you for coming."
The second coming walked back to the park.
It started to rain. Nobody moved.

The New York Times headline read: "Second Coming Slams Pope,
Supports Abortion Rights."
The National Star headline read:
"Jesus and Mary: The Inside Story,"
which was also the name of the NBC miniseries.

The second coming appeared on Oprah and Larry King,
Today Show and Good Morning America. He skipped Jenny Jones.
He gave interviews to C-SPAN, the Wall Street Journal,
the New York Times, Wolf Blitzer and Dev Null. His Web site,
www.secondcoming.com, got more than a million hits a week.

Planes landed at Kennedy Airport.
Thousands of people flocked to Central Park.
The networks worried about ratings.
The mayor worried about crowd control.
The President worried about his image.
The Pope worried about his power.
He called the President on a secure line.
The Christian Coalition was pissed.
They printed new voter guides.

5

Just before Christmas the stores were empty.
Toys stayed on the shelves.
Expensive jewelry stayed in its case.
Nobody bought gift certificates for McDonald's Happy Meals.
The churches were cavernous.

Nobody rode elevators,
sat at desks, made important phone calls, sent faxes or e-mail,
negotiated deals, underwrote offerings, invested in the internet,
speculated about the future of Apple Computer,
shopped at Safeway, cleaned the executive bathroom,
reviewed the R&D budget, tweaked the distribution system,
downsized, upsized or rightsized.

The Conference Board reported
Consumer Confidence was at an all-time high.
Consumer Spending was at an all-time low.
The economy neared collapse.

The second coming taught from his bench in Central Park
in his robe, scraggly beard and sandals
appearing a little dazed, or maybe just ethereal.
He fed the masses.

6

The President never mentioned the second coming by name.
He didn't appear to be concerned.
Neither did prime ministers, monarchs, bishops
and the Christian Coalition,
who held secret teleconferences on secured lines.

7

The second coming knew the day had come.
He did nothing different.
His hands started to bleed. His feet hurt. He got headaches.
His side ached.
He said nothing.

The second coming sat in silent contemplation
before a crowd of half-a-million. Everybody prayed
and munched on manna.

The second coming barely noticed the glint in the tree.
He turned to face God.
It was like slow motion--
the bullet coming towards him.
He spread his arms,
looked toward Home.
"Insanity," he thought, "is doing the same thing over and over
and expecting different results."
"God, my God," he said. "why does this keep happening to me?"






©1998, by Ken Siegmann


second coming
- Wednesday, December 01, 1999 at 20:30:39 (PST)


I'll try to convince myself

no it's not really a gash
those really aren't the words that are coming out of your mouth
your'e really not cutting me down
yes babe I can fake it in style

blood and pizzaz

I'll still take it
fake it
while
you make eyes with her
Eve
- Wednesday, December 01, 1999 at 20:16:44 (PST)


why do you not want to feel life
and live the happiness you could
if only you would reach out
to the wind and hold on to a piece of dust
before it is gone
Anonymous
- Wednesday, December 01, 1999 at 19:47:31 (PST)


I will never
ever
ever
never
ever
again write or post things on this page
because you complain way to much
Anonymous
- Wednesday, December 01, 1999 at 19:45:29 (PST)


"Its Just you and me,baby"

The story was written a thousand times
a million ways
a lifetime you'd wait
it has many names and the parts are ours
no matter what you say
it was me and you
on every page
it is us...
other than that there is nothing
every chapter
every channel
all the songs
your not insane
it is true to life destiny
2 minus one =
- Wednesday, December 01, 1999 at 19:42:19 (PST)


"Cast Out"

Snakes coil and hiss
striking fiction
try to get a witness
someone to forgive
along the wall
the ledge
snakes strike the falling
flying downward into this
pit of emptyness
burning wings
erase my bare existance
halo turned to horns
you turn on us us us
we ask again for forgiveness
as you stab at us with crosses
and preach again to praise
the clouds cant even reach hell
and would move hail above
whatever our dream orginally was
whatever was really us
to die for you

II
Bleeding Angels

Bleeding Angels casting stones
breathing fire tombstone dream
marking beast told in toungues
only yesterday steals the life
from you spilling seeds
with your crosses bleeding angels stabbing me
live to decieve
poision filled eyes
believe in lies
silver bullets bring new lives
theres a snake pit inside
the minds of hell
the eighth day
the first page
vomiting for love
request to die
+ + + + + +
- Wednesday, December 01, 1999 at 19:25:39 (PST)


Frostbitten Lives

Cold as the wicked north wind blowing hard off
The snow caps. mercilessly covering all life
Never caring what was before, content knowing
Now it is nothing

Hard as the ice that now thrives where swimmers
Once basked in the warmth of summers light
Never caring what was before, content knowing
Now it is lifeless

Numb as the veins in the trees that once carried
Lifegiving nourishment to the leaves of green
Yellow and red. Never seeing the brilliance of the
Rainbow. living only in the blindness of white

As I enter the bitterness of your life, I see a
House in the distance. Knocking on the door there
Is no answer> open the door before it too late.
I want to know the part of you you hide I come
to love, not destroy

Mead
- Wednesday, December 01, 1999 at 17:36:43 (PST)


that is f#ckin@ it
I will never post my really
really wonderful poetic genius here again
I mean this this time
I swear on walt whitmans grave
Anonymous
- Wednesday, December 01, 1999 at 15:14:56 (PST)


YOU ASSHOLES
What don't you understand about
I will never post my poetry here again?
that is the last straw
I mean it this time
Anonymous
- Wednesday, December 01, 1999 at 15:06:42 (PST)


This is really it this time
I will never ever
post any of my really good stuff here again
thats it
and I mean it
Anonymous
- Wednesday, December 01, 1999 at 14:44:31 (PST)


so long ago I felt peace here
quiet in a nutshell
and I thought I was stable
but my only stable has a horse
and there is no peace
not even here
why cant we live in a godless world?
in a world of serenity
thats all I am asking for
dont mistake me though
I am happy with P,B,&J
there all good friends of mine
and there protection of me comes at no price to me
except for me of course
and eve you are right
there are boys at the window
but I cant let them in
and I am sorry to everyone





I miss you bub
Pretynd
- Wednesday, December 01, 1999 at 14:21:52 (PST)


This site sucks!


You guys are a bunch of whiny fags


I'm never comming back
Anonymous
- Wednesday, December 01, 1999 at 10:29:53 (PST)


"Cast Out"

Snakes coil and hiss
striking fiction
try to get a witness
someone to forgive
along the wall
the ledge
snakes strike the falling
flying downward into this
pit of emptyness
burning wings
erase my bare existance
halo turned to horns
you turn on us us us
we ask again for forgiveness
as you stab at us with crosses
and preach again to praise
the clouds cant even reach hell
and would move hail above
whatever our dream orginally was
whatever was really us
to die for you

so save us
- Wednesday, December 01, 1999 at 06:12:04 (PST)


You're not worth my affection,
You're not worth the time it takes.
You're not worth my devotion,
You're not worth the hell it makes.

You're not worth my few written promise,
You're not worth my undying need.
You're not worth my feeling and touching,
Just sit there and watch as I bleed.

You're not worth my silly conclusions
Of things that I haven't seen.
You're not worth my beautiful sadness,
You're angry, pathetic and mean.

For this I give you all my nothing
Maybe for this you will become something...
Sarai Paul
- Wednesday, December 01, 1999 at 01:51:39 (PST)


a posting hell...fuck it im off...
Anonymous
- Wednesday, December 01, 1999 at 00:26:45 (PST)


Overcaffeinated Bastard
by Everett M Shiner



Had me two big mugs of strong, black brew.
Ferocious 'n hot, it’s spoon-bending stuff.
Now I’m driving to work and I’m looking at you,
Don’t cut me off monkey face, drive time could get rough.

Why lookie right there, a slow poky chink.
Red Lexus with embassy tags and real leather seats.
My eyes bug out, my temper flares, go over the brink.
"Bing bong ching dow, you diplomats really stink!"

Next comes a lowridin’ cheese eatin’ New York hump.
Long oily hair. Subwoofers: boom-chunka-chunka-thump.
Two inches from his bumper, first a nudge, then a bump.
"Hey loser, hey creep, it’s ruined! Fodder for the dump!"

By my passenger door hangs a brand new gold S-U-V.
Driver thinks she can cut in front of my pickup truck and me.
Defending my space: a flick of the gas, a tap of the brake,
Her eyes leave the road: telephone pole mistake!

A pair of backed up southbound lanes-but all is not lost!
I signal the left-turning cabbie waiting to go straight across.
Impact propels his crown air freshener right out his door.
Reckon he’ll go to Advance Auto and get him some more?

Just two more miles till my cushy government job
Why did those old folks in a Buick have to get involved?
Whipping my truck deftly over the double yellow line,
I missed the stopped county trash truck, so I’ll be fine.

Got to get me a parking place close and upfront.
Cut down the one-way, speed bumps go thunk!
Slam my door into a Beamer with a satisfied grunt.
Working as a violence counselor ain’t for no dunce!

CAFFINE
- Tuesday, November 30, 1999 at 23:01:13 (PST)


Out of Picasso's Still-life
with green apple and glass

Injected with preservatives
the apple becomes the glass becomes
the surface below the tree
which we ascend to get the best view
of dead nature: out there beneath
a canopy of artificial light
fixed to a primed canvas
the lustre of inorganic pigments
shocks fruit into an eternal ripeness--
like the fridge's crisper.
In the kitchen--studio,
where body parts
are cryogenic
and carry mythological
oomph--we see it all:
that green apple
outshining the light
caught in glass, Aphrodite
compressed to a surface,
the unearthly glimmer
of structure.

Zone (echidna) for JD
The echidna subjectively fades
amongst the imported hydrangeas: soft underbelly
personal and ratiocinate per funky inhabitants,
getting down stereotypes and glitz,
on the screens and at premières
watch third men medius terminus
so long out of contact, I write
measuring truth by length of emptiness,
stacked biologies undoing and working up God's
inner map, chartered x-ray or rogo: character actor
on low denomination coinage,
as roads criss-cross the remaining herbage,
stand on stand of old growth forest
conflated to football pitches per seconds,
as I root around the termite-ridden ground
surrounding clumps of mallee, hot
to the core, a seriis vicissim ad jocos transire
a surly Mr Sterne might joke, provincial
and thinking over the channel, in real time
ceremony of my anthropo underworld living: I deflect
attention as I might say of you: it's a metaphysical trick
to get the artist in bed. Dead horses
hanging from the rafters of the Tate,
a stuffed squirrel revivifying taxidermists as artists,
an atom of my quill stuck on an Australian tourist's
inner-ripple, trod into the tower's carpet,
deposited in the restaurant of the Eiffel tower,
30 years downwind from the moonlanding
or Citroën's intra-cultural shuffle; the air
seems different. What do you think
as they grind you into personality?
Upstaged by publicity, their indifference
to sickness. Hey, do this for me.
It will be great for both of us:
rage fade rage fade rage fade rage fade
reflected aphanisis the marks of our diggings
as I conflate. Let me tell you about hydrangeas:
litmus and universal, papered
against the mountains of gardens
edged in Snowdonia. We've got them
just down the road. Maybe on Storey's Way.
They're in papers buried in a national library.
They're in my childhood near where
I ran away ‹ to stop behind the post-box.
To stop and eat my store of biscuits.
Hoping to be found. On the TV Jerry Springer
conducts his freak show ‹ I'm the ringmaster
he intones, these are the performers.
Realtime distorts him. Another talk-show host
tries a publicity stunt. The death of Diana
becomes a tale of two cities
becomes cross-iconic and devolutionary:
we shall build will build, we will.
A local theatre company advertises
island-colonising workshops for 9 to 12-year-olds.
Empire of marginal unconscious,
elegant crime qua Lucifero com'io l'avea lasciato,
a fox or foxglove at high altitude, though not so high,
just in terms of, comparatively:
the fox is like a cathedral in English poetry,
what did Villon make of the fox?
I, echidna, slow moving, grubbing,
unctuous to some, bulldozer determined
to others, undo chaotically about the scrub,
unlike the methodical metro visitations
playing neat hands, getting away with it,
L'Amour et Psyché at the bottom of it: the public
will lay claim to this, hot-core, pheromonal,
François-Edouard Picot, pyramid-selling his links
to an ancient heritage, Charlemagne reinforcing
lineage, progeny, the spectral arms industry
and flight after flight of warbirds
coming in over Thetford Forest in Norfolk.
Down the road the American Cemetery.
The dead lie in American soil framed by British
primogeniture. Jam Tree, mallet, salmon gum, york gum, smoke bush,
sheoaks come from god knows where: god knows,
where, as if here is everywhere. Here is.
This body of the soldier.
Boadicea, Colchester, the Roman roads.
It's here. All here. Rodin, Camille. The familiar
icon, the feminine gesture. Here, I suckle my young.
My eggs turned out of my body.
Like words. Complete sentences
in themselves.



JOHN KINSELLA
- Tuesday, November 30, 1999 at 22:55:54 (PST)


BLUE PRINT



Assuming I am a pleasant companion

with rhythm and a voice

and I depart



my hands having been

placed upon your

walls,

my fingerprints

upon your glass.



I simply leave this mark of blue



blue print.




SONG

--for Amiri Baraka

Gee-whiz New Jersey you calmly speak

and a nation becomes more poetic

and everyone bumps their imagination

up another notch.

Wisdom filters into conversations

as easy as winter snowflakes

and no wonder we endure political

rhetoric from politicians who look

exactly as we do.



This air is ridiculous and toxic as America.



Any reason of value is enough to uncomplicate

a twisted love affair so long dangling

with metaphors and suspicions.

And what of this alibi we've rehearsed?

I'm just as cosmopolitan as the next person,

I'm just as lucky.



Hang on Pennsylvania, sugar will sustain its

sweetness and eventually we remember all the easy stuff,

like travelling. Like going and returning.

Maybe we would all do better hanging out at an extravagant

Brazilian festival. Maybe we should just dance.




BOOM BOOM!



I get to go to boom boom

I get to kiss your cheek

I get to go to boom boom

I get to kiss your cheek

I get to go to Australia

I get to go Aborigine

I get to go to boom boom



All by my self

I get to go to boom boom

I get plenty of money

I get to make promises

I get to make sandwiches

I get to go to boom boom

I get ideas circulating in my head



I get fever

I get to kiss you

I get a reputation

I get everything simplified and amplified

I get to go to boom boom



I get plenty of recognition

I get the inspiration

I get to go to boom boom

I get my directions faxed in from Manila



I get accounted for

I get perspiration on my way to boom boom

I get the automatic interpretation of my dreams

I get to go to boom boom

I get isolation blues

I get funky blues around the clock



I get whatever I get

I get to go to boom boom

I get telegrams before I arrive

I get inclination to linger I get encouragement from neighbors

I get to go to boom boom

I get odd questions

I get focused

I get to go to boom boom

I get to realize the outcome

I get to see things as I suppose they have been

I get to go to boom boom

I get writings published

I get up close

I get turned on

I get to go to boom boom

I get to go to boom boom



Here I am!



[Copyrighted by Yictove from his book BLUE PRINT.
All rights reserved by the author.]

blue print
- Tuesday, November 30, 1999 at 22:51:29 (PST)


Arborphilia

The shock of seeing you standing alone
(in the brittle grasses) manzanita,
reaches of red bark thin and smooth as throat skin turns into disease
the closer I walk, the more your color divides,
manzanita in brittle grass;
(touching you is like touching my
telephone to find out what frank has stolen this week
the closer I walk, the more deep red dissolves
into orange, black, and yellow, streaming through,
like touching the skin of my
wdying mules reaching for sandwichs
when we can't get enough of each other,
(yellow, black, orange, getting enough of you )
He'll squeeze my
{those goddamn 15 and 17 year olds
this is getting to be quite a case right colombo?
in the bath, shriek, "Mama cass ate to much!,"
when we can't get enough of each other--
he'll grab my face with butterfly hands,
poke for the crest of my eye socket, "dying hobag eyes!,"
as I rub soap on his round little monkey turds;
he'll grin, hold my face in butterfly hands,
grope with his feet for the slope of my belly
as I hold him, rub soap on his round elvis records
Who is it I'm smelling, my hand on this branch,
remembering feet on the slope of my belly
as your red arms grope the folds of my brain;
who is it I'm smelling, my hand on this branch,the presdient had sex with monkeys
and what will my televisions have taught you,
with your red arms forking into my brain call the police
the spark of desire arcs out of my palms,
lesbian into your veins,
and will my fingers at least have taught you
the seeping oil of my skin, rooted sewer fish
the spark of desire arcs out of my palms, into your veins,
reaches of red bark thin and smooth as throat skin;
loneliness oils my bones, rooted pukeing smurf ,
mushrooms growing out of the shock of seeing you standing alone.



©Copyright 1999



destrory words
- Tuesday, November 30, 1999 at 22:36:48 (PST)


I cried when my castle

I cried when my castle
was repossessed by the sea
I worked all day
skipped lunch
my face got red from the sun
my throat got sore
from yelling at the dogs
and kids
"stay away from that!"
"did you build it!?"
I must've said it a million times
I should have bought a losange
for the sea


If the Hands

if the Hands
were like the rock

we could all go on living
the winter comes so maliciously
but Spring is so forgiving


Delicious

is a pear on Sundays
a pair someday
reminiscing
upon that first Bite


Carbon
escaping fleshly prisons
saving fresh leaves-driven
by forcesbeyondcontrol
dropping by
just to remind us
of the time

© 1999 Preston Holston
Preston Holston
- Tuesday, November 30, 1999 at 22:17:03 (PST)


"I wish"

I wish you was'nt retarded
I wish you was'nt sick in the head
I wish you was'nt retarded
and your crys for help ryhymed with this

for if you was sane
or had some piece of mind
or mental health
some little bit of common sense
I would want to understand
I would stand by you

I wish you was'nt retarded
I wish your brain could come back
I really wish two sentances of yours
just made a little bit
a little bit
just a little bit of sense

I wish you was'nt retarded
whooaaaaa too far gone
talking rainman bitch
straight jacket
straight up
your mindless dribble shit

Everybody sing along

"We wish you was'nt retarded
we wish you was'nt sick
we wish you could be healthy
try and
wont you try to
whooooaaaaaaa baby
won't you try to deal with it"

{now just the doctors}
we tried to make her better
we tried to make some sense
theres no cure for stupid
and shes as stupid as stupid gets

as stupid as stupid gets

thank you
thank you

goodnight
yeahhhhhhwhooooooooooo
- Tuesday, November 30, 1999 at 22:10:56 (PST)


Exclusive Offer:

The Adam Wooten Commemorative Plaque is still available for fan club members only

Call: 1-800-G-E-T-W-O-O-T



It features a hand carved ivory trim with a gold embolized picture of the Man himself "Adam Wooten"
All on an English Oak Backplate
With The words : "Godamn He's Great" engraved on the top nameplate




Act now and also recieve an exclusive Adam Wooten Christmas Plush Collectible for the kids!
~~~~~~ADAM IS GOD~~~~~~
- Tuesday, November 30, 1999 at 21:33:39 (PST)


Adam Wooten will be appearing live in person at the Charleston Civic Center
Friday January 18th
@8:00 PM

He will be performing all his hits and much more!






Adam Wooten


"Godamn He's Great"
Malmstein
- Tuesday, November 30, 1999 at 21:26:30 (PST)


For a free 8 X 10 Autographed Photo of Adam Wooten

Send 199.99 To:

God C/O Adam Wooten
P.O. Box 5000
Providence, VA
90048

Please include a S.A.S.E.
David Horowitz............."The Jew"
- Tuesday, November 30, 1999 at 21:23:58 (PST)


We all of course know that I didn't post the A D A M W O O T E N that said I have no cock.....that's just ludicrous. But you all see that no matter how many e-mails I recieve and no matter how much shit gets posted about me I'm still better than all of you. I'm quite possibly the greatest human being to ever walk on God's (Adam Wooten's) green earth. I mean come on look at me! How could I get much better? I've reached omnipitance, The pinnacle of universal existance.


I love all this attention you people have been giving me. It's been making my already "inflated ego" shoot through the roof............I LOVE IT!

I love the fact that while I'm out living my life and OCCASIONALLY posting here you people spend your time thinking of how to insult me.

PATHETIC

PATHETIC

PATHETIC

PATHETIC

PATHETIC






Adam Wooten

"Goddamn he's great"
A (G) D (O) A (D) M
- Tuesday, November 30, 1999 at 21:17:39 (PST)


THATS IT FOLKS

ANYONE BUILD A SNOW MAN AND NAMES IT WOOTEN

THEN IM GETTING THE BLOW TORCHES HEATED AND

MELTING THAT LITTLE BITCH DOWN. DO YOU HEAR ME

IM MELTING THAT BITCH DOWN TO THE GROUND.

GONNA WATCH IT FLOW GONNA WATCH HIM GO.

JESUS CHRIST WHAT A BITCH HE IS. ARE YOU WELL?


ONE MAD BITCH
- Tuesday, November 30, 1999 at 20:28:25 (PST)


that damn soup train rules !!!!!!!!!!!! death be to
anyone that don't like it !!!!!!!! That means you
pussy boy !
Anonymous
- Tuesday, November 30, 1999 at 20:14:29 (PST)


Long live the soup train and all that is SOUPINESS!!
Anonymous
- Tuesday, November 30, 1999 at 20:03:47 (PST)


YOU SMOKE THOSE GODDAMNED CIGARETTES

I KNOW ITS NOT MY IMAGINATION. YOURS

MAKE MORE SMOKE THAN A FIRE. IT IS KILLING

ME. MAKES ME NOT WANT TO FUCK YOU . HAVEN'T

YOU NOTICED THAT? I FEEL LIKE IM STUCK IN THIS

FUCKING CIGARETTE PRISON SOMEBODY FUCKING HELP

ME OUT> THATS WHAT MY GUTS SCREAM HOURLY.

SOMEBODY WAKE ME/////DOROTHY ARE WE IN KANSAS ?

WHERE THE HELL IS TOTO? I WANNA KICK THE TIN

MANS RUSTY ASS. I WANT TO BLOW SOME WITH THE

HEARTLESS LION, THAT WAY I KNOW HE WON'T DIE

ON ME. CAUSE HE HASN'T A HEART TO EXPLODE.

BETTY RUBBLE FUCKED FRED EVERY TIME WILMA HAD

HER BACK TUNED. THAT LITTLE PREHISTORIC SLUT.








DAMN I STILL DON"T FEEL BETTER
- Tuesday, November 30, 1999 at 20:03:32 (PST)


I am here today right now right here
to ask forgiveness for all those you had to hear
the complaints of other's lives
and I know it is the dives
to hear all the bitching of cd's and what not
I'm sure you all would just like it all to rot
and go away and leave you here
to play in the archives you have so near
and so I once again implore the forgiveness of all
for haven't we all in some way polluted this hall?
Jester
- Tuesday, November 30, 1999 at 16:59:28 (PST)


Life is grand and life is great
but then I have to see the hate
of a little rat and Alice dear
and I wonder, Why doesn't she kill that fucking queer?
I guess it shows tolerance for the childish ways
but that little rat still stays...
The constant thorn in my side
and the little bitch I hope died
by the smiling cats claws
because to me he has no balls...
so I hope he gets the hint and then
forgets about foolish people and what they lend.

One more time for the Jury:

Life is grand and life is great
but then I have to see the hate
of a little rat and Alice dear
and I wonder, Why doesn't she kill that fucking queer?
I guess it shows tolerance for the childish ways
but that little rat still stays...
The constant thorn in my side
and the little bitch I hope died
by the smiling cats claws
because to me he has no balls...
so I hope he gets the hint and then
forgets about foolish people and what they lend.


Sebastian Bediss
- Tuesday, November 30, 1999 at 16:42:20 (PST)


You know Adam every time I read all the worthless shit you put on here and your constant bitching I realize I hate you that much more. GROW UP ASSHOLE!
Sebastian Bediss
- Tuesday, November 30, 1999 at 16:26:52 (PST)


So I sit here wondering and dreaming,
listening intently to the screaming
dancing to the mournful cries
watching intently while hope dies.
Twisting and turning
feeling lust burning
as I stare at the moon's ghastly face.
I've finally found my rightful place
snug in the arms of you
with lips a very dark blue
and I know now I've found love
in the embrace of the heaven's above.

Cheshire Cat
- Tuesday, November 30, 1999 at 16:23:12 (PST)


Don't Write Lovesongs


The body sprawled on the cold floor
where it lay for an age
a home for bluebottles
and now sturdy maggots
crawling from eye sockets
Fecund Fetid Feisty
somewhat overtly flayed

The face a pitiful mask of beauty
gouged like creamed soft cheese
Hell pontoon grimace fixed by mothernatures glue
The symmetry of tendons
The jingle-jangle of putty bones

Tear ducts erupt from insect swimming eyes
the land of flesh that walks distantly the glade
sugar sweet
the corpse, popping.
Rj Wilkes
- Tuesday, November 30, 1999 at 12:49:55 (PST)


A MATTER OF PERSPECTIVE

Ponder... ponder ... World of Wonder

Things are rarely what they seem

But, if... we learn to handle Life

It doesn’t have to be so mean

Life is a never ending story of struggle & intrigue

Death is a metamorphosis

Our Souls emerge on gossamer "Wings"

Disappointment is always certain

There’s no such thing as a "Final Curtain"

History goes ‘round & round

It winds uphill, around & down

Gravity enslaves us all

Before we walk

We crawl & fall

Before we run

We need Confidence

Before we "Fly"

We need Common Sense

Before we Love

We have to Share

To Share we have to learn to Care

We have to Suffer to appreciate "Joy"

We have to Cry... Build & Destroy

We have to experience Shame & Pain

You cannot grow & remain the same

Change is the fuel that makes us grow

We reap the fruits of what we sow

We must tolerate the loads we bear

Few believe that Life is "Fair"

Your Perspective determines what you see

Glass half full.. Glass half empty

We learn to Love... We learn to Hate

Sit on the "fence" & open "gates"

We learn to manipulate... We learn to pry

We Live to Learn... We’re Born to Die

I want to Live... not merely Survive

Nowhere to run... Nowhere to hide

Make the changes you can make

If not, learn to tolerate your Fate

How you choose to Live can give you Satisfaction

Enjoy Today without over reaction

Survival is Life’s Prime Directive

But, Life is a matter of... Perspective



ANOTHER BODY BAG

Sneakin’ round my house looking for something to steal

Said, he came to visit but I know the real deal

Breakin’ my heart...Killin’ my mother

Scared to trust him... but I love him

Cause this junkie is my brother

Is that your sister boostin’ hot clothes?

Selling her body for cash or dope?

I heard she’s HIV... So, she’s spreadin’ it around

Killin’ off her lovers all around the town

Now, she’s lyin’ on a slab... Check out the toe tag

Just another skeezer dead

Bring another body bag

Pretty little baby

Smart since the day she was born

Found her body in an alley

Her vagina ripped & torn

Little boy lost.... Never see his mom again

Foolishly he followed someone he thought was his friend

Lyin’ on a slab... Check out the toe tag

Another baby dead

Bring another body bag

They used to love each other

Not so long ago

Now, one has shot the other

Why? No one really knows.

A tisket a tasket a pink or yellow casket

Appointment at the cemetery... Bring a picnic basket

The teacher called my mama... But, my mama can’t cope

So, she sent me to the corner... to buy her some dope

The dope man taught me... how to sell a dooby

My mama’s hoein’... trying to sell some booty

Her booty is poison

She used to be all that

Now, she’s a walkin’ corpse

Bring another body bag

Good parents do their best to raise their children right

Then they die old, sad & lonely... no reward in sight

Young folks dyin’... Old folks crying

Poor folks tryin’... Rich folks lyin’

Everybody’s got the flu

Cancer’s spreadin’ like fire

Created in a test tube

So some rich man could retire

Cops...Epidemics & The System killing folks

Death is all around me... Seems to have me by the throat

Don’t know what I’m doing... Gotta keep moving

Working like a dog... But, somehow I keep losin’

Soon, I’ll be lyin’ on a slab wearin’ a toe tag

Just another *LIMPBISKIT FAN dead
Bring another body bag

* = CENSORED



BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE



Lord, please don't get angry with me... if it seems that my faith is a little weak

There's so much pain in my heart .... I'm afraid but, I have to speak

I see bad things happen to good people all the time

Despite their prayers & positive minds

There is so little comfort to be had in this cold, cruel world

Where bad things happen to innocent boys & girls

No where to go... No where to turn

God, you are my only Hope

I feel so lost... but, Lord, I'm willing to learn

I try to maintain a positive mind

Still I see,.. bad things happen to good people all the time

Maybe I'm not worthy of Heaven

But, I don't deserve the evil things that are happening to me

I'm down here struggling daily to be the best that I can be

Why must I suffer? Forgive me Lord, for speaking my mind.

Why do bad things happen to good people all the time?

Must I live through hell on earth & die to reap a reward

for my good deeds & faithful service to you Lord?

I'm tired of the struggle. I'm tired of the pain.

I'm craving sunshine. I'm tired of the rain.

I want to believe that things will work out fine.

Yet, I see bad things happen to good people all the time.

Lord, please lift my heavy burdens & brighten my day

To make things better, tell me what to do & say

Lord, please grant me strength & have mercy on my soul

I'm not questioning your wisdom... Lord, I just want to know

For my peace of mind... show me the reason, show me the rhyme

I'm tired of seeing bad things happen to good people all the time.
Copyright 1999 Crystal Cartier
- Tuesday, November 30, 1999 at 11:50:38 (PST)


It's a long, long way for us to go
But if we don't try we'll never know
Stay optimistic, set our goals high
There's nothing we can't do if we aim for the...

Sky is blue and all the leaves are green
The air's as pure as a baked potato
I think we know precisely what we mean
When we say it's a shpadoinkle day



When we say it's a SHPADOINKLE day !!!

Ronnie Phallus
- Tuesday, November 30, 1999 at 07:51:02 (PST)


Sometimes the world is black
And tears run from your eyes
And maybe we'll all get really sick
And maybe we'll all die

So let's build a snowman
We can make him our best friend
We can name him Uncle Dave or
We can name him Wooten
We can make him tall or
We can make him not so tall

Snowman...

He'll have a happy face
A happy smile
A happy point of view
If you build me a snowman
Then I'll build one for you!

So let's build a snowman
We can make him our best friend
We can name him Melissa or
We can name him Eric
We can make him tall or
We can make him not so tall

Snowman...


He'll have a happy face
A happy smile
A happy point of view
If you build me a snowman
Then I'll build one for you!

Snowman, snowman... snowman!!

Ayatollah
- Tuesday, November 30, 1999 at 07:48:15 (PST)


-Alma-


Dein herz, ist nur für meine träume,
wo mein ertzte gedank erläuft...
....Und was mein leben umbringen......
.....Mein leben, bist nur für dein schwinge,
...und...
Dein schwinge, ist nur für den himmel,
der himmel, nur für meine stimme.....

-

Der himmel ist ;

-Nur für dich-
und
-Nur für mich-

-

Z
- Tuesday, November 30, 1999 at 06:39:30 (PST)


It's a zippity doo da day !!!!
Im the happiest girl......in the whole USA!!!
Anonymous
- Tuesday, November 30, 1999 at 05:24:24 (PST)


leave me then
leave him
leave me again
your alright
alright
you'll do fine
leave me please
on beggin knees
Im dreamin
leave us be
theres only you and me
lie to me
in chains
cheat on me
puppet strings rust and bleed
come back reciept
forget this scene
Anonymous
- Monday, November 29, 1999 at 18:49:30 (PST)


brush your red hair back from your eyes
say hello
mean goodbye
theres no love now
you reach for goodbye

Anonymous
- Monday, November 29, 1999 at 18:34:38 (PST)


I lost a piece of glass somewhere inside
and it's floating about

steak and bread
because you know I can see so much better with tears in my eyes
And I did it to myself
and I do it to myself

tell me, what should falling feel like?
The arrows inside are shooting every which way
why do you hate when you love
I see how it is
God, you know how to hurt me
you do it so so so so
well

I'm anticipating the tears when you say no

I'll bet you'll never know
I love you to smithereens

Eve
- Monday, November 29, 1999 at 14:29:19 (PST)


Let's build a snowman
We can make him our best friend
We can name him Shannon!
Shannon Wilson Bell
We can make him tall or --



Shut the fuck up Swan!


BANG!!!!

(Swan is shot by one of his companions)

Jerichoholic
- Monday, November 29, 1999 at 13:57:00 (PST)


She'll never know
What she meant to me
Whenever I was with her
I was always as gentle as I could be
Now I don't know why
But she's gone away
And I'll just have to stand on my own two legs


Your eyes, your smile
Made my little life worthwhile
There was nothing I couldn't do
When I was on top of you


I'd pull her hair
She'd know to stop
And when she looked behind her I'd always be there
And now I don't know why
But she, she's gone
And all I can do is try to carry on

Your eyes, your smile
Made my little life worthwhile
The sky was a lot more blue
When I was on top of you


When I was on top of you

the ref
- Monday, November 29, 1999 at 13:56:02 (PST)


I know that there's more to life than women.
I just can't seem to figure out what else there is.
I don't need it every night, every morning would be just fine.
A little sex, that's all I'm asking for.
That's all I'm asking for!

That's all he's asking for!

Something I could test, a gal would suit me best.
I got a thing to use, I know what to use it for.
A girl I can love, and kiss, and hold, and fu...
That's all I'm asking for.

Now I don't want to be rich for the sake of women.
I want to be rich for the sake of our lord.
Enough to build a church where everyone can come.
Enough for the lord, that's all I'm asking for.

That's all I'm asking for.

That's all he's asking for.

It ain't a lot to ask. I'm sure we'll get it fast.
A friend of mine was mining and he made a lot of cash.
He made a gazillion dollars, how is that!
That's all I'm asking for.

He did not make a gazillion dollars!

You want to ask him?! I'll tell you where he lives!

That's all he's asking for.

That's all I'm asking for.

We're tired of being sick, we're sick of being poor.
We've had a little luck, now we want a litte more.

Enough so we'd never do anything anymore.
That's all we're asking for!

Hey, what about you Mr. Milller, what are you asking for?

No, no, I don't sing.

Aw come on, if you can talk, you can sing.

I just want to make enough so I can open up a shop on my own.
Go on with my family trade.

Well there, that's great.
What is it that you do?

I'm a butcher.

You're a butcher?!

Yeah.

I've never had much in the way of friends or family.
My horse is the only pal I've ever known.
I'd like to build a ranch in the rocky mountain air.
A home for us, that's all I'm asking for.

That's all we're asking for, that's all we're asking for.
We're tired of being sick, we're sick of being poor.
We've had a little luck, now we want a little more.

A girl I can love!

A church!

A ranch!

A store.

That's all we're asking, that's all we're asking, that's all we're asking for!









Justin Credible
- Monday, November 29, 1999 at 13:53:32 (PST)


THE TRAPPER SONG
Song by Aldo Montoya
Musical Arrangement by Steve Corino and Sal Graziano


I can catch a helpless animal
Skin it with my bare hands
I wake up muddy
And I go to bed bloddy
'Cause I'm a trappin' man
I can brave the nastiest weather
Even if it's 80 below
My pa was an elephant
But that's irrelevant
And my mom was an eskimo

I eat rabbits' heads for breakfast
Beaver bile on the side
My mind's magnificent
And my body no different
I'm full of trapper pride!

Yo-ho!
Rip their fur, cut their skin with my knife
Yo-ho!
One thing for sure, nothing like the trappin' life!

I'm badder than the baddest sailor
Make love to women 10 feet tall
I've got a chest of wonder
And balls of thunder
I can break right through a wall

I love the sound of metal
Snapping on an animal's head
Sometimes they scamper
Sometimes they whimper
But they always end up dead

(Interlude by Nutter)
I always wanted to be somebody
Who didn't get pushed around
Now that I'm a trapper
I'm the meanest guy around
(Frenchy interrupts)
Second meanest!

The blood of a fresh-cut rodent
Is as sweet as brandied wine
And the brain of an antelope
Taste like cantelope
What a yummy life

Yo-ho!
Rip their fur, cut their eyes out with my knife
Yo-ho!
(Song is cut short, due the trapper trio's inability to sing in corresponding scales)



Ayatollah
- Monday, November 29, 1999 at 13:52:21 (PST)




Hang the bastard, hang him high
Hoist his body to the sky
It's as nice as a day can be
Won't you come to the hanging with me?

Hang the bastard, hang him high
Hoist his body to the sky
It's as nice as a day can be
Won't you come to the hanging with me?


Hang the bastard, hang him well
Send his sorry soul to hell
When his neckbone snaps we'll know
When the cannibal won't be killing anymore


His face will turn red
Then purple, then blue
We'll watch from up here
To get a good view
And when his eyes bug out we'll know
It's the end of him
And the end of the show!


So hang the bastard, hang him with cheer
We'll make some hot dogs And drink a few beers
And when his tongue rolls out we'll know
It's the end of the show And we all can go home!
But not till we hang the bastard, hang him here
The most exciting thing this town has seen in years
When his body stops jerking we'll know
It's the end of him, it's the end of him It's the end of him, it's the end of him
And the end of the show

(Cowbell solo!)

So hang the bastard, hang him high
Kiss his guilty butt goodbye
It's as nice as a day can be
Won't you come to the hanging with me?
His veins will pop out all over his head
We'll tickle his armpits to make sure he's dead
And when his eyes bug out we'll know
It's the end of him and we all can go home!

But not till we hang the bastard, hang him high
Hoist his body to the sky
When his body stops jerking we'll know
It's the end of him, it's the end of him It's the end of him
Let's get on with the show!

Hooray!

Tank
- Monday, November 29, 1999 at 13:49:03 (PST)


So let's build a snowman
We can make him our best friend
We can name him Tom or
We can name him George
We can make him tall or
We can make him not so tall
Snowman

He'll have a happy face
A happy smile
A happy point of view
If you build me a snowman
Then I'll build one for you!

So let's build a snowman
We can make him our best friend
We can name him Bob or
We can name him Beowulf
We can make him tall or
We can make him not so tall
Snowman

Hey!

(tap solo)

He'll have a happy face

A happy smile
A happy point of view
If you build me a snowman
Then I'll build one for you!

Snowman, snowman... snowman!!


Bub
- Monday, November 29, 1999 at 13:43:01 (PST)


The Sky is blue and all the leaves are green
My hearts as warm as a baked potato
I think you'll know exactly what I mean
When I say it's a splidoinkal day!


RDU3
- Monday, November 29, 1999 at 13:37:37 (PST)


Pussiesssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
Anonymous
- Monday, November 29, 1999 at 13:36:09 (PST)


Chickensssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss...
RDU3
- Monday, November 29, 1999 at 13:22:03 (PST)


Stop the madness.......kill someone today folks !!!
Anonymous
- Monday, November 29, 1999 at 13:04:59 (PST)


Her hair was shining like the blackest of nights
Her eyes peircing as the sky, her heart true and
untamed. Her laughter was that of a trickling brook
her smile held a trillion bouquets. Just to know her
is a priviledge, something short of divine.

I've know here since she arrived, and I've loved her
that long. If you think that you are going to embarass her, threaten her......then you are out of
your fucking little narrow mind. I will take you to
hell and back before that happens.

There comes a time in a mans life when he must accept that sometimes he no more than a legend in his own mind.....I think that time for you is now boy.

You will get restitution and you better accept it and
go on with your sad existance.



"wheres the beef?"
- Monday, November 29, 1999 at 13:03:02 (PST)


What has happened to the sanctity of this place ?
Why are there so many cyber bitches ? All these
gripes ? Travis Ray Cole this and that, kill the
soup train, sheep sodomizers ?? What is the underlying problem here? Could it be ED? ......or even the dreaded penis envy?
What is it that leads us to such hate for one another.
Seems petty for the voyeur-stranger such as myself, peering
in this Pandors's Box from time to time. Keep your
personal crap to yourself, some of us come here to read art.
Keepinitreal
- Monday, November 29, 1999 at 12:45:16 (PST)


I am Adam Wooten, yes that's right ladies and gentleman of the jury I have no cock and I find it impossible at all to have my cream box replaced because of my lack of cock. I am a complete dick head and would love to apologize repeatedly and even kiss the foot of all the sheep and pigs and other farm animals I have ever sodomized. Further more I would like to say that I am a complete loser with an ego the size of the bartender's ass I so longingly wish to kiss. The bartender is of course a little russian guy who looks much like the pig I sodomized earlier. Once again I am a loser. I also like to rape young sheep by the firelight of burning books.

A D A M W O O T E N
- Sunday, November 28, 1999 at 22:59:44 (PST)


An Ode to a psuedo-hypothetical guy named woot

I wonder what has come to pass
when all one has to do is stare at a bartender's ass
and I wonder what it pays
to burn books of greatness these days?
I now ask myself what filth and more to boot
is born by the likes of a psuedo-hypothetical woot
and why oh why it's written here
in the archives of greatness dear?
when has anyone ever had to publish
this immature and childish rubbish
spawned from the likes of a primitive guy
who has all the appeal of a pig stye?
I shake my head and wonder more
about this guy with a life so poor
that he has to destroy what one would hold dear
just so he himself can feel not so mere.
But hey society has shown
that just like him this is what they have all known.
our primitive, childish, and psuedo-hypothetical woot
has never been all that astute
and all his life has been rather callow
but hey I must say, blessed are the shallow.

ALL HAIL THE WORKS OF ME, MYSELF, AND I!!
Me, Myself, and I
- Sunday, November 28, 1999 at 22:47:28 (PST)


An Ode to a psuedo-hypothetical guy named woot

I wonder what has come to pass
when all one has to do is stare at a bartender's ass
and I wonder what it pays
to burn books of greatness these days?
I now ask myself what filth and more to boot
is born by the likes of a psuedo-hypothetical woot
and why oh why it's written here
in the archives of greatness dear?
when has anyone ever had to publish
this immature and childish rubbish
spawned from the likes of a primitive guy
who has all the appeal of a pig stye?
I shake my head and wonder more
about this guy with a life so poor
that he has to destroy what one would hold dear
just so he himself can feel not so mere.
But hey society has shown
that just like him this is what they have all known.
our primitive, childish, and psuedo-hypothetical woot
has never been all that astute
and all his life has been rather callow
but hey I must say, blessed are the shallow.

ALL HAIL THE WORKS OF ME, MYSELF, AND I!!
Me, Myself, and I
- Sunday, November 28, 1999 at 22:47:27 (PST)


"It is'nt me its you,TAKE 604"

Meanwhile on the otherside of town
the beauty contest continues
theres more deluxe than theres cheesecake lunch
theres blond
and red heads in season
theres windows filled with every reason
I cant think you
I cant believe you
in you

Theres action real and fine
taking my breathe stealing our minds
I cant dream to you
I cant be true
I love you
Where you been so long???/?
- Sunday, November 28, 1999 at 21:56:45 (PST)


Ok all the fucking poetry aside......no beat, no flow, no anything. You hate me and I hate you...that's fine I have no problem with that whatsoever. Your just pissed 'cause you had (or still have) some sort of obsession with me and I wouldn't lower my standards enough to go out with your hideous ass. You know it's true. You never knew how you're dear friend Melissa TRIED (in vain obviously) to talk me into going out with you.

Do you think I, ADAM WOOTEN,would go out with YOU!?!? HA HA HA...DO NOT flatter yourself.

SO Ms. Epperson back to business, I've heard it said that you want to pretend that I never existed and "just be done with it". WRONG....I'll tell you right now that you will not hear the last of me until I get my CD replaced. I'd like to know where you get off telling me that it's MY fault that the CD got scratched. And you better consider yourself lucky that I'm not trying to have you replace my bumper.
And on a side note, I appreciate you having Rich deliver the message that "You're just going to kick my ass"...well first off I don't see it happening in the near future. And second of all I don't hit women (but I agree with your mom, you don't look too womanly).

All in all, you have problems and I'm glad I don't have to hear about how "the friendship circle is gonna break up when Melissa leaves" and Donnie this and Donnie that, YOU SOUND LIKE AMANDA COCHRAN.

And in conclusion Ladies and Gentleman of the jury I would just like to state that I am the vicitm in this ordeal, and I will not rest until my Cream Box Set is restored to its original glory.




You know Jayme, we were good friends...but we make MUCH better enimies.
Everyone's best friend -- A D A M W O O T E N
- Sunday, November 28, 1999 at 20:25:22 (PST)


I hate Vince McMahon because he took away my belt and gave it to the Undertaker...that heartless Son of a bitch!

So now I don't have Shawn Michaels!

I worked so hard and got nothing but heartache from it!

sob...sob...sob...and Poor Al Snow! How do you think he feels Vince?




Now hit MY music...
RDU3
- Sunday, November 28, 1999 at 19:53:48 (PST)


The Barftenders Ass was so big,

we almost missed Woot's head sticking out of it.
Hateuzenandnow
- Sunday, November 28, 1999 at 17:15:28 (PST)


"You believe in something else
to relieve your emptiness
and you dream about yourself
and you breathe and bleed the air
I just kinda died for you
you just kinda stared at me

Take me now we can spin the sun around
And the stars will all come out
and we'll turn and come back down

You believe there's somewhere else
where it's easier than this
and you see outside yourself
and you'll buy the hole you'll fill
but still it's
on and on and on and on and on

Hell yeah I remember Aurora

On and on and on Aurora
wait for everyone
wait till the last one's done"

FOO FIGHTERS

(There's nothing on Earth like a good song...)
Eve
- Sunday, November 28, 1999 at 17:14:41 (PST)


IQ drop eh?
Anonymous
- Sunday, November 28, 1999 at 16:10:20 (PST)


The Bartenders ass is so big

she is easliy confused with the great wall of china

Anonymous
- Sunday, November 28, 1999 at 08:17:26 (PST)


The Bartenders ass is so big

she went swimming
and everyone thought it was the hoover damn
Anonymous
- Sunday, November 28, 1999 at 08:14:01 (PST)


The Bartenders ass is so big

she has her very own earth day
Anonymous
- Sunday, November 28, 1999 at 08:12:19 (PST)


Why did the lesbians want to get the fudge upstairs?

thats where the camara crew was...


why did'nt the chicken cross its legs?

it could'nt swim???
Anonymous
- Saturday, November 27, 1999 at 23:34:03 (PST)


The Bartenders ass is so big...
the people who owned homes around it
signed petitions to have sound barriers built
Anonymous
- Saturday, November 27, 1999 at 23:29:15 (PST)


The Bartenders ass is so big...
people confused it with the soup train
and tried to buy tickets back home on it
Anonymous
- Saturday, November 27, 1999 at 23:26:54 (PST)


The bartenders ass is so big
it used to be a toxic waste dump
and will soon be condos

Anonymous
- Saturday, November 27, 1999 at 23:25:18 (PST)


The bartenders ass is so big
exxon wants to dump oil in it

Anonymous
- Saturday, November 27, 1999 at 23:24:29 (PST)


The bartenders ass is so big
it echos when you holler into it

Anonymous
- Saturday, November 27, 1999 at 23:23:48 (PST)


The bartenders ass is so big
it causes accidents

Anonymous
- Saturday, November 27, 1999 at 23:23:14 (PST)


Oh gosh darn
how sad
lost your cd
well actually it got scratched
in a accident
you saw it out of the player
i asked you to take it
you didnt
I got in a accident
oops
go ahead and burn my books
that shows your maturity
you (if not giving them back of course)
should at least take joy from the tragedies of will
and the shine of steven
cant we be grown up about this?
we hate each other
leave it there
cause I dont have time for such petty
aftermaths
....
- Saturday, November 27, 1999 at 21:56:50 (PST)


i am so sad when I think of you
I want so much to know who you are
but then realize that would be too far
and so I cry because its you i love
you are the one who is one with only me
without you i feel so unsatified and empty.
but with you Im sure I would also be scared
so i will reside here with him but you in my heart
hopefully someday we can sit and talk about what could be

only so I can torture myself for the selfish need to know.







Do you dare dream as bold as I
is it my face in your mind's eye
will you ever be faithful to me
or are you an illusional fantasy
sent to me to balance karmic energy
no intentions to bond pure hearts
but rather to even up the smarts
turning unsettled into settle
once and for all who are you
leaving you now a rose pedal
as the sun sets into blue
its you i want to make love to
i never knew a dream so real
as the one i dream about you
in my soul you i do feel and
this is not true when love
I do make with my other love
whom I share my everything
with him you are not there
instead when self only exists
inside my dreams, giving me gifts
so thoughts of you flutter my soul
we almost had our own little baby
so his blue eye so piecingly said
so if this at all rings any bells
you know now whowhere I am.

Anonymous
- Saturday, November 27, 1999 at 21:51:53 (PST)


Hypthetically speakig if you borrow someone's stuff you take care of it right? RIGHT! OK, so just for the heck of it assume someone (no names please) has borrowed your CD. You would take care of that CD wouldn't you? I would, so anyway. Assume that that someone has a car with a 6 CD changer in the trunk and they borrow your CD and when they are done with it they take it out of their changer and throw it in the trunk; no case, no sleeve NOTHING! So...along with it being thrown in the trunk she, I mean "they" have a car accident and the CD falls UNDER the trunks floor and gets scratched up EVEN MORE!! Whose fault would it be? This person says it's my fault for not getting it out of their trunk in time. I say it's theirs for not taking care of MY stuff. I think this person is very irresponsible and they should replace my property.



IT WOULD, HOWEVER, BE A SHAME IF I HAPPENED TO HOST A GOOD OLD FASHIONED BOOK BURNING...I can hear Will Shakesphere and Stephen King screaming now.
A D A M W O O T E N (hypothetically speaking)
- Saturday, November 27, 1999 at 16:34:20 (PST)


The bartenders ass is so big

the beatles first considered naming the band after it


Anonymous
- Saturday, November 27, 1999 at 16:20:56 (PST)


Kill the Soup Train!

All Hail the bartender's Ass
Adam woote
- Saturday, November 27, 1999 at 16:20:21 (PST)


The bartenders ass is so big

The tax payers want a new school built on it
Anonymous
- Saturday, November 27, 1999 at 16:18:38 (PST)


The bartenders ass is so big

The local Contractors want to build a new
subdivision on it.
Anonymous
- Saturday, November 27, 1999 at 16:17:50 (PST)


The bartenders ass is so big

The farmers want to be paid not to grow crops on it.
Anonymous
- Saturday, November 27, 1999 at 16:16:38 (PST)


The bartenders ass is so big

the neighhood wants to tear it down
to build a parking lot.
Anonymous
- Saturday, November 27, 1999 at 16:15:57 (PST)


The bartenders ass is so big

homeless people want to live in it
Anonymous
- Saturday, November 27, 1999 at 16:12:54 (PST)


The bartenders ass is so big

the goverment want to build highways
thru the middle of it
Anonymous
- Saturday, November 27, 1999 at 16:12:19 (PST)


The bartenders ass is so big

we just traded it for canada
Anonymous
- Saturday, November 27, 1999 at 16:11:01 (PST)


The bartenders ass is so big

Crysler wants to name a new line of cars after it
Anonymous
- Saturday, November 27, 1999 at 16:09:47 (PST)


The bartenders ass is so big

the moon now orbits it
Anonymous
- Saturday, November 27, 1999 at 16:09:02 (PST)


When do Lesbians need a man ?


when they need help getting a fridge up the stairs.



HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA<<<<<<<<<
Anonymous
- Saturday, November 27, 1999 at 16:08:41 (PST)


The bartenders ass is so big

the russians want to invade it
Anonymous
- Saturday, November 27, 1999 at 16:08:13 (PST)


The bartenders ass is so big

the airport near here had to move because
shes the only thing that shows up on the radar screen
Anonymous
- Saturday, November 27, 1999 at 16:07:31 (PST)


The bartenders ass is so big

it tore a new hole in the ozone layer
Anonymous
- Saturday, November 27, 1999 at 16:05:48 (PST)


The bartenders ass is so big

its in the world record book
Anonymous
- Saturday, November 27, 1999 at 16:04:21 (PST)


The Bartenders Ass is so big, it has
zoning laws governing it.
Anonymous
- Saturday, November 27, 1999 at 16:03:13 (PST)


The bartenders ass is so big

Clinton wants to use it as an emergency
space shuttle landing strip.
Anonymous
- Saturday, November 27, 1999 at 16:02:07 (PST)


The bartenders asses are so big
she had to get a tracker trailer Drivers License
in order to walk to the end of the bar legally


Anonymous
- Saturday, November 27, 1999 at 15:59:40 (PST)


The bartenders asses are so big
they obstruct her view

Anonymous
- Saturday, November 27, 1999 at 15:57:09 (PST)


i am so sad when I think of you
I want so much to know who you are
but then realize that would be too far
and so I cry because its you i love
you are the one who is one with only me
without you i feel so unsatified and empty.
but with you Im sure I would also be scared
so i will reside here with him but you in my heart
hopefully someday we can sit and talk about what could be






Anonymous
- Saturday, November 27, 1999 at 13:59:30 (PST)


The Bartenders Ass is soooo fucking big.....why it even
takes up precious space on Pandoras Box !!
Anonymous
- Saturday, November 27, 1999 at 13:40:36 (PST)


imagine that my distant one, they're trying to change us
we always must remember to keep it all going for fun
cause that's what it and we are all all all all all about
we realize as they think that we dont, that every1 plays
a part in trying to join our hearts, none is true and hasnt
been for long time. They see strong souls and want to destroy
conform those people before their souls begin to plot their ploy
witch is what they dont really understand--Is that you and I were
already well on our path and us eccentrics they will never devour
for you and I and him already made a pact to use only our 3 powers.
hopefully now it will be clearer for them to see that You, him, and
me have been connected since eternity, and they will not break our
free thinking and eccentric auraristic Individuality. we cannot be
controlled by ONE thought style of thinking and in fact are governed by eternal
openess to the ideas of all, even if they too seem off the wall!

Anonymous
- Saturday, November 27, 1999 at 11:51:36 (PST)


floating, lucy goosey, abstract, way out there
its time to collect and bring myself in back
hipocrocies can be overlooked but not with my eyes
my triangle is full and cannot accomodate nonelse
is allowed into my world, not even you listning now
consistency always determines individual character
and does the same thing to it to 'buil' d it too!
my drift is cold and to the point, sharp and stable
but I would have yous all believe otherwise--it will
be two ezee for yous to take control and I know that
So my doublelife continues..tell fantasies to all you
so that my truelife will prevail against your cult
so great it works for you, but not for me, I have too
many questions to be bound by one single thought. eyah
Anonymous
- Saturday, November 27, 1999 at 11:08:20 (PST)


The Bartenders ass is so big
the mayor has proposed plans to build
a football stadium on it
Anonymous
- Saturday, November 27, 1999 at 06:51:49 (PST)


The bartenders ass is so big...

How big is it?

The bartenders ass is so big
it just became the sixty-third state
Anonymous
- Friday, November 26, 1999 at 01:03:16 (PST)


The bartenders ass is so big...

How big is it?

The bartenders ass is so big
it cost thousands to have it landscaped
Anonymous
- Friday, November 26, 1999 at 01:02:38 (PST)


The bartenders ass is so big...

How big is it?

The bartenders ass is so big
it had two fallout shelters
and its own radio station
Anonymous
- Friday, November 26, 1999 at 01:02:08 (PST)


The bartenders ass is so big...

How big is it?

The bartenders ass is so big
she had to get a B plate
Anonymous
- Friday, November 26, 1999 at 01:00:46 (PST)


The bartenders ass is so big...

How big is it?

The bartenders ass is so big
she was part beer truck
Anonymous
- Friday, November 26, 1999 at 01:00:17 (PST)


The bartenders ass is so big...

How big is it?

The bartenders ass is so big
it was much larger than a couple of half kegs
Anonymous
- Friday, November 26, 1999 at 00:59:47 (PST)


The bartenders ass is so big...

How big is it?

The bartenders ass is so big
the left lane was budwieser
and the right lane was MGD
and there was two tollbooths in the middle
Anonymous
- Friday, November 26, 1999 at 00:58:23 (PST)


The bartenders ass is so big...

How big is it?

The bartenders ass is so big
she didnt see us walk in the bar
Anonymous
- Friday, November 26, 1999 at 00:56:39 (PST)


The bar rags ass is so big...

How big is it?

The bar rags ass is so big
it now uses two area codes
Anonymous
- Friday, November 26, 1999 at 00:54:57 (PST)


The bartenders ass is so big...

How big is it?

The bartenders ass is so big
you can use it as an extra pool table
when the place gets crowded
Anonymous
- Friday, November 26, 1999 at 00:53:46 (PST)


"The bartenders ass is so big..."

How big is it?

The bartenders ass is so big
she had to get three permits for the thing.

============================================
"The bartenders ass is so big..."

How big is it?

The bartenders ass is so big
we now have earthquakes in the midwest

------------------------------------------
"The bartenders ass is so big..."

How big is it?

The bartenders ass is so big
we are winning two wars at once with it...

everybody run
- Friday, November 26, 1999 at 00:52:23 (PST)


The bartenders ass is so big...

How big is it?

the bartenders ass is so big
it has a convoy of trucks in front and in back
of hit with flashing yellow lights
and signs saying "caution wide loads"
Anonymous
- Friday, November 26, 1999 at 00:47:08 (PST)


The bartenders ass is so big...

How big is it?

The bartenders ass is so big
it wants to be the grand canyon when it grows up
Anonymous
- Friday, November 26, 1999 at 00:44:16 (PST)


The bartenders ass is so big...

How big is it?

The bartenders ass is so big
it has multiple personalitie disorder
discharge?
- Friday, November 26, 1999 at 00:42:21 (PST)


"the beertenders ass is so big"

How big is it?

the beertenders ass is so big
it beeps when she backs up.
Anonymous
- Friday, November 26, 1999 at 00:39:28 (PST)


Do you think jewish is related to polish?
they both have an ish
Anonymous
- Friday, November 26, 1999 at 00:37:56 (PST)


"The bartenders ass was so big..."

HOW BIG WAS IT?

the bartenders ass was so big
it had a jaw bone and was mentioned in the bible.

Anonymous
- Friday, November 26, 1999 at 00:36:38 (PST)


"Columbus thought the bartenders ass was round"

Colombus thought the bartenders ass was round
but it was really shaped like seven footballs
{which is good during football season}

"it also doubles as a nightstand or coffee table"


Anonymous
- Friday, November 26, 1999 at 00:34:31 (PST)


"When God was handing out brains"

When God was handing out brains
the bartender ate hers
and stood in line three times
for asses.

{Thats two more asses than most}
Anonymous
- Friday, November 26, 1999 at 00:30:32 (PST)


The bartenders asses are so big...

How big are they?

The bartenders asses are so big
that she has three of them
all in one.
{well all in three}
Anonymous
- Friday, November 26, 1999 at 00:27:04 (PST)


The bartenders asses are so big...

HOW BIG IS IT?

The bartenders asses are so big
that it takes her 5 minutes to get it rolling
in this direction.

Anonymous
- Friday, November 26, 1999 at 00:24:08 (PST)


The bartenders ass is so big...

How big is it?

the bartenders ass is so big
It made me not want to drink anymore.
Anonymous
- Friday, November 26, 1999 at 00:21:55 (PST)


"The Bartenders ass is so big..."

HOW BIG IS IT?

The bartenders ass is so fucking big
her brain is shoved up in it
Anonymous
- Friday, November 26, 1999 at 00:20:08 (PST)


I love my soup train
perhaps because it keeps me sane
or maybe it does not
but I do love my soup rather hot
and I take things to extremes
oh how the soup train makes real my dreams
Warming my heart when low I feel
warming my flesh when I have a chill
making things better when melancholy consumed
taking away the feelings of my being doomed
and Jane can have her soup that holds her
but I love my soup best after a brrrrrrr!
Maybe Pretynd wants soup with blue eyes
and perhaps Kermit wants soup with flies
The Campbell's man wants soup for his bowl
but I think everyone needs soup for the soul.

How low would you stoop
for your soup?

campbell's man
- Thursday, November 25, 1999 at 23:31:15 (PST)


Loneliness
By Charlie McCormick

The world can appear cold
Devoid of human contact.
We can walk through a city
Not meeting a human soul.
We can long for company
Even have them by our side
We can look into their eyes
To see an emptiness deep inside.
We can speak our truth,
But no one listens
We can be with them
Sleep with them
Yet feel so very much alone.

There is a thirst upon the land
A search for human kindness
An overwhelming loneliness
A sense of being lost.
We will swim the sea of despair
Just hoping for someone there
Yet when a person is encountered,
Fear of being hurt
Has us shut down all the sharing
Adding to the wall
That keeps us in our plight
Leaving us with nothing
No sense of that someone being real.

Just what does it take
To overcome the barrier
That keeps us to ourselves
And robs us of our life.
Maybe it is a little understanding
That what it is like for me,
It is also like for you.
Just a little sharing
Some simple act of caring
We really don't ask a lot
We just want to know
There is really someone there
That our life is worth living.

For you or I to make a difference
There is nothing very hard
Just spread a little kindness
Take the time to listen
To what people have to say
Give your undivided attention
Show a little interest
Show them that you care
Withhold that judgment
That has you make them wrong
Show a little compassion
Acknowledge them for being
A beautiful human being.

Each person has something to contribute
Some underlying purpose
Some unique perspective
To build the richness of our life.
We humans are social beasts
Needing each other to appreciate
The finer things of life
The sense of being loved,
Especially by ourselves
The sense of being free
The sense of being together
The sense of being a part
Of the greater human race.

Charlie McCormick



Only Just A Friend
By Charlie McCormick

When I approached you that day
And told you how I really felt
I had to overcome my fear
That I might scare you off.

I had begun to dream, you see
Of what it might be like
With you by my side
A partner for life!

And when you told me true
I was only just a friend to you
I was very hurt
And I knew not what to say.

But as I began to think,
And review what you said
I recognized your fear
And saw that you cared.

So, if it is a friend you want,
Then it is a friend I'll be,
There for you
And you for me.

For in honesty we did start,
Each our own truth did speak,
Overcoming the fear,
That kept us apart.

Imagine if you can
It being safe to share
All the feelings that we hold
All the love we have to give.

That is a world I would freely choose
And it's available there for you.

Charlie McCormick



You Made My Day!
By Charlie McCormick

I was just heading for a plane
Walking through the airport
When down the hall
What do I see
But some good looking lady
Staring back at me
Walking my direction
And just as she passed
I looked back to see
If she looked as good
From the back as she did the front
When low and behold
So did she
Forgetting which way
She was walking
And smack into a column
She did go,
As embarrassed as she could be.
Let me tell you
That made my day
My week, my month, my year
And twenty years later
I still fondly remember
How in one fell swoop
My ego did soar
My masculinity proven.
Thank you Lady
Who ever you were!

Charlie McCormick



Whose Child is This?
By Charlie McCormick

This spirited rascal
Imp of mischievous grin
The product of love,
Or more likely, lust

An innocent babe,
Or a tyrant true,
An angel quiet
Or a belligerent brat

I've watched him close
And seen all these things
He is a complex beast
This little mirror

We swelled in pride
And danced with joy
Each proclaiming our genes at play
When he was good!

But alas, when he was not,
And our wits did battle
It was your genes, we each did tease
Not mine

This entertaining debate, we did play
Whose Child is This?
Knowing and sometimes fearing,
He reflected us!

Charlie McCormick



The Slug Bug Game
By Charlie McCormick

Among the many ways
My kids could entertain
Themselves and us
Was the Slug Bug Game.
A Slug Bug was a car
The Volkswagon Beetle
To be exact.
Extremely popular
Way back when
But hasn't been sold
For at least twenty years or more,
And they are classics now.
They came in many a color
Bright red, yellow, blue and green.
These days you don't see too many
That is unless you are looking
And that was the game.
The first kid to spot one would yell
Red slug bug,
No punch back
And proceed to hit the other
Down each road and alley
They would search
As we drove along
Vigilant and alert
Should her sister spot it first
Even memorizing specific ones
Where they stayed
Ready to strike
At first sight
And by this means
On even the shortest trips
They could entertain
But it was the long ones
Where they really drove us nuts.
The Slug Bug Game.

Charlie McCormick

Charlie McCormick
- Thursday, November 25, 1999 at 20:59:47 (PST)


no chords could explain
the blood red fantasy
exceptional memories
a reason to wanna see
theres no way to get thru
I cant try to believe
theres no use in tomorrow
I can try and see
if you was only in the explanation
defining love to me
could my leads bleed thru to sorrow
a meaning of love defeat
will I forget the only answer
a prayer answered
then stolen right from under me
one more time I turn my mind
to leave the word love in the grave its dug for me

Anonymous
- Thursday, November 25, 1999 at 20:34:04 (PST)


E0_________12__
B0_________12__
G0_________12__
D14)__, A0_______0_____
E12___12____12_



leave me again to dream
- Thursday, November 25, 1999 at 20:27:43 (PST)


GOD, today I thank you for all that is good and bad in my life, for they make me who I am. Thank you .
Anonymous
- Thursday, November 25, 1999 at 17:17:57 (PST)


B11
G..12):,,)12
===================

B11
G..12):,,)12
===================

E10...............13
B11
G..12):,,)12
===================







Anonymous
- Thursday, November 25, 1999 at 16:01:48 (PST)


Oh baby
baby baby baby
baby
baby
baby
baby
baby


7 leads away from me
- Thursday, November 25, 1999 at 15:55:07 (PST)


"Rainy Day"

Im not savin for a rainy day
a rainy day a rainy day
I wish to buy a vowel

Anonymous
- Thursday, November 25, 1999 at 11:10:00 (PST)


I feel as if I am subject to change
we all need new feel dirties
Pretynd
- Wednesday, November 24, 1999 at 11:43:17 (PST)


"edit the night"

When there're filming me
I see your eyes
reaching out of the craters in the walls
never able to accept
killing ryhyme
I said there is me
soul stolen from the mirror
reaching into the movement of lost memories
hiding from itself
only to deny a thousand words
meaning optic illuisions
have left traces in the lens
of weakness moving at the speed of lies
the floor filled with yester-moments
splice my hypnotising thoughts
of leftover reason and anger filled skies
Travis Ray Cole
- Tuesday, November 23, 1999 at 21:40:03 (PST)


I also would like to buy a vowel... a whole lot of them and I can find them all in the alphabet soup on the SOUP TRAIN!!!
campbells man
- Tuesday, November 23, 1999 at 21:22:20 (PST)


"The Crabs"

Stab me heartlessly
a thousand songs in vain
you feel nothing
nothing for me again
stab my heart honestly
take it steal it again
leave it nowhere
carelessly the end

stab me until I feel it
play with my emotions
until I beg
turn around and leave me
lets get together as friends

stab my heart repeatidly
until there is nothing ever again
then you might have to hold me
so I'll feel something
look at me with warm eyes
smile in them
whisper so softly
its you that that makes me feel this

so my heart is happy
ifI knew what happy was
if I had a heart left
there would be love for us

so theres still tomorrow
thats what I want to believe
you could take that away
you I'll always trust

I'll just always be there
like a shadow or a ghost
waiting for you someday
to look for me for love




Anonymous
- Tuesday, November 23, 1999 at 21:18:48 (PST)


"The French Fry Machine Operator"

I wish there was somewhere I could sell
the grease squeezin's from my face
if you knew someone or just someplace
I could get a pound a week
on the blackhead market
do you want liquid or solid form acne

Written by Travis Ray Cole
Copyright{c}1999
Travis Ray Cole can be e-mailed at oeoeoe@usa.net


-----------------------------------
- Tuesday, November 23, 1999 at 21:01:52 (PST)


Spark a flame teeth on metal
I feel like your torturer sinner devil
I look like your angel saintdivine
Am I wicked or confused
I think you think I think you think
My game may not be mine


j'ess
- Tuesday, November 23, 1999 at 16:49:32 (PST)


I want to buy a vowel
Anonymous
- Tuesday, November 23, 1999 at 16:37:22 (PST)


TORN
as a child I lay
wrapped as tight as you allow
and all the other boys say they want in
but none have the ability to climb through
and I dont see
how you could not love
and if you ever did
would she still linger in your mouth
leaving our kisses with a sickening aftertaste?
and would her name be lodged in the back of your throat
every time you are saying mine?
would I be your second favourite ice cream cone
wrappings
dont let my desperation seep through
Pretynd
- Tuesday, November 23, 1999 at 10:06:19 (PST)


In Summary
to sum it all up

as she looks up at the lights
shes not mine thin and beautiful like
from here as if there is nowhere else but a cell
from you incase theres another kind of hell
shes doing what is easy aint it easy?
shes doing what she likes
shes in danger of...theres no love
and that must be what she likes
to find a man like him
to tell her when she lies
to replace him with him
so she can die ugly in the night
for money
because out there its lonley
she looks up at the light
opens up the door
and thats just what its like
she not going nowhere
it isnt very far
shes waiting for tomorrow
she dont need to be what you are
she cant hide it inside but lie
she cant help but to feel
its different when theyre all around her
they know thats a part of the deal
she read it in the bible,so
she knows that shes real
noone else is
a mile to nothing
theres no life here and nothing past that
she couldve loved something
i wish i was it
she is so much more
somehow she acceppts
because she is the night just as you and i
someone could blame society or
just believe this is life
when she has nothing left
without trying to hide
nothing to get you over lift you up or get you high
so if theres no reason,is it another lie
but tomorrow wont be different
the clouds will roll by
the moon will still be there
and years will steal one night
and she will walk unless you love her and then shes gone
without goodbye
and there is no other
no where else to go
you cant replace what you never missed
and buy back your soul
Travis Ray Cole
Anonymous
- Monday, November 22, 1999 at 22:14:12 (PST)


[guiltpain@go.com]


"How Do You Start Over"
I started with nothing
I want nothing
I need nothing
I have nothing
I leave it all behind
there's to much weight to carry
to keep these things with me
I need this, this is mine
I want nothing
I have nothing
I am nothing
nothing is mine
there is to much to keep
I really don't need this museum of mine
I leave it
I start over
yeah its over
and I don't even have or need what was/is mine
I start with nothing
not even a memory I try to forget the time
I start at the end
I start to begin
I start without you this time
I've got to keep going
I can not stay here and rust and rot
while you are doing fine?
I start again
I see no end for me I have to try
you can have what you need or what I don't
that's ok. . . yeah it is fine
I leave these things that slow me down
I've got to far to climb
I would take you with me but you couldn't last
and I don't wanna leave you wherever
Im not coming back to in this life
I start without you
I am without you
I don't feel it
like its a lie
I. . .
wish you could run with me
I wish you had my seed
I wish I could hold you and make it all right
I WISH
that I could believe
I wish I lived the dream
and never want to die
I want nothing
I need nothing
I have nothing
I leave it all behind
there's to much weight
to carry
to keep these things with me
I need
this is mine
I want nothing
I have nothing
I am nothing
nothing is mine
there is to much to keep
there's no such thing as deep
its just levels you and I
that might be why
I really don't need this museum of mind
Written by Travis Ray Cole
======================================================

"Art of Way"
The Artist is the art
she moves, she moves me
she speaks and calls my name
she laughs I can smile and dream
I said she's love
reason
I've waited all this time for something
not really knowing until I seen it
at this point there is no season
the beginning
she gives me clubs hearts and diamonds
the spades I dig up on my own
she lets me win until the last moment
and puts me in checkmate again
she spins and tries to get it off the ground
it's up to the wind to choose to take it
I run with her
I run for her
I run to her
she is a gift
she is she I am me
together we listen
to her, I whisper,
don't I tell her my best lines,
and go back and rewrite them?
can I ever really love what is love
am I the only one
I should not say anything about it
its too late
I couldn't wait
just outta the blue
from nowhere
"I love you"
; across the sound
from now on
would I say the right thing
wouldn't I do anything
and be crazy enough to quit
whatever got in the way
crazy about the reason I have to love
me and you
Written by Travis Ray Cole
======================================================
"Filth"
Shes so burnt out on love
I could do anything
she don't think of love
and now her hearts not frozen

she sometimes goes without
and it doesn't get her anything
she wants to end the life that needs a life
to get over living again

she wants to run from the problems
of love that no love is taking
she knows there's no where to go
but she's gotta get outta the rain

she's so burnt out on love
there's no lust in anything
she's not turned on
or in tune to what I am playing

she is thinking of something else
and her minds not on what Im saying
so I get bored with lust
Written by Travis Ray Cole
oeoeoe@usa.net
- Monday, November 22, 1999 at 22:10:18 (PST)


I said I wouldn't fall
So why do you smile
why do you affect me
leave me with no oxygen

why do you taste so good

how can I
stop
stop
stop
stop

the tears from welling
how can I hide me
here I am


and
here I am
Eve
- Monday, November 22, 1999 at 16:47:40 (PST)




The Myth of Satan
and What Constitutes a Lie



As we approach the end of this millennium some basic ideas need to be called into
question. One idea we can question is Satan. Another idea we can question is what
constitutes a lie. Since Satan is considered the Father and Master of lies by one of the
major religious groups on the planet today -- Christianity, and since they control
enormous economic, political, and social resources, thereby imposing their
interpretations of reality on the general public at large in a number of ways, it is
interesting to question these two ideas together.

First, let me define what I mean by "Satan." Satan is a major deity in the Christian
pantheon. Christianity is supposedly a monotheistic religion, however, close examination
reveals that Catholic Christianity worships four major deities: The Father (regarded as the
Creator), The Son (Jesus Christ), the Holy Ghost, and Satan. The Father, Son & Holy
Ghost are regarded as separate and yet One (the Holy Trinity). Satan stands outside this
Trinity and is their great Adversary. They also appear to worship a whole plethora of minor
deities they call "saints" (one might regard these in the same light as the Buddhists do
bodhisattvas). Technically speaking (according to Papal dictates) Catholics are not supposed
to worship their saints, but in practice, that's what it certainly looks like.

Protestant Christianity (and its numerous variants) worships three major deities: the Father
(the Creator), Jesus Christ, and Satan. They also put much stock in their earthly
representatives, the preachers, whose advice concerning spiritual, political, social, private
and economic matters is generally accepted without question. For Protestants, Satan stands
as the Great Adversary of Jesus and his Heavenly Father and is the enemy and corrupter of
all that is right and good.

So, Catholicism and the Protestants have this in common. Satan is the Great Adversary of
their creator God and his only child, Jesus Christ. Jesus and the Creator (the Heavenly
Father) represent all that is good and right in the world. Satan represents all that is evil
and corrupt in the world. Jesus and the Father represent Truth. Satan represents Lies. In
both branches of Christianity, Satan is at eternal war with God the Father for the souls of
humanity. Satan is portrayed as a very worthy adversary -- one who the Creator cannot
control, and one who can, by virtue of his constant meddling in the affairs of men, undo
the Creator's best intentions for his "children." Humans are portrayed as virtually helpless
pawns in this war. They must maintain eternal vigilance against the wiles of Satan, lest
he lure them away from good. The way to avoid Satan’s traps is to turn one's own will
over to God the Father. How is this to be accomplished? Well, according to the
Christians, Jesus Christ came to earth and laid down the law. Lots of rules about what to
think, say and do. His followers wrote down the Word of God in the Gospels. If you
follow these words and the rules they set out to the letter, you have been good and are
promised the reward of eternal bliss in Heaven. If you don't, or if you question these
words and rules (or their interpretation by any priest or preacher) in any way, you have
been seduced by Satan and are promised the punishment of eternal damnation in Hell (as
well as ostracism by your fellows on earth -- which could mean anything from losing
your place on the church committee, to losing your spouse, your friends, your job, your
life, etc.).

So, for Christians, the problem of Truth and Lie is simple. Anything written in the Bible
is True. Anything not contained therein and not agreeing with what is said therein is a
Lie. If it is a Lie, it is the result of the workings of Satan, and those producing the Lie are
therefore in the thrall of Satan, and are, thereby, Satan worshippers and can be dealt with
accordingly. How neat. How clean. For Catholic Christians, things are a bit more
complicated. The Holy Father in Rome is considered to be the earthly incarnation of St.
Peter, endowed by Christ with the ability to make Holy Laws operative both in Heaven
and on Earth. Therefore, anything the Pope says is absolutely True and absolutely
infallible; the Popes have had quite a lot to say. No problem though! To cure any
confusion a Catholic might have as to Truth or Lie, they need only ask their local Priest
who is paid to keep up on the latest version of Catholic Truth. He'll let his "flock" know
what to think, say and do under any circumstances. Still, if push comes to shove, and you
find you simply MUST disagree with your Priest (and therefore not only the Pope, but
God the Father himself), you are guilty of apostasy and being under the influence of (you
guessed it) Satan -- the Great Deceiver, Father and Progenitor of Lies. In this system of
thought, human individuals are not conceived of as being capable of forming a viable
opinion themselves based on the use of simple observation and reasoning. They are either
in agreement with Christianity's depiction of reality (and are therefore on God’s side) or
they disagree with Christianity's depiction of reality (and are therefore on Satan's side).
The idea that an individual might not be on either “side” has apparently never occurred to
most Christians. The idea that there are no sides and that reality is subject to various
interpretations, all equally valid depending on your perspective, has NEVER occurred to
Christians (or if it has, this notion has been consigned to “Satan's side” and been
promptly discarded).

Now, the interesting thing is that Christians accuse anyone who disagrees with them of
being in league with Satan, whether the accused actually believes in Satan or not. This
has had terrible consequences in the past. One only need examine the atrocities of the
Inquisition (both Catholic and Protestant) in Europe to see that. The question of how you
can be in league with someone or something you don't believe in has been raised again
and again throughout history by those accused by Christians of being in league with
Satan. Christians regard this dismissal of Satan as clear evidence that the individual
asking the question is, in fact, completely under Satan's sway.

The fact is, Satan was created by Christians. He exists nowhere else but in their
cosmogony and theology. It is only Christians who find Satan everywhere, only
Christians who spend many hours discussing his activities and imagining his many wiles
and how they work in the world. They summon his name at every turn. They cite him as
a causal force in their world a hundred times daily, easily more often than they cite or
summon their Heavenly Father or their One True Lord, Jesus Christ. They proclaim that
not only is he in direct contest with their all powerful father god, but that he mostly does
better in the world than this Father does. All you need do to observe the great energy
they put into proclaiming Satan's hegemony in the world is to watch their various
evangelical programs on TV. It is Christians, they and none other, who actually worship
Satan. Without him their whole cosmogony falls apart. The whole raison d’etre of their
religion, taking the world back from the Evil One, is rendered meaningless, if Satan
doesn't exist, and in a form powerful enough to contest successfully with the Creator.
The rest of us don't even acknowledge that Satan exists. He only comes into our
awareness when one of our Christian cousins insists we must be worshipping him
because we've said something they disagree with. Then we must stare at them
perplexedly and wonder why they imagine we worship one of their strange gods.

The Christians have convinced themselves that they have a lock on Truth and Lies.
Perhaps they are content with their definitions. The rest of us are not. If I wish to believe
the world began 4 billion years ago, that the Universe operates by impersonal principles
and powers forever beyond humanity's imagining, I will. If I want to believe in Krishna,
the Goddess, the Force, evolution, or nothing at all, I will. It is guaranteed in the Bill of
Rights of the USA. This is a fact many Christians (who proclaim themselves staunch
patriots) ignore. The Bill of Rights doesn't say freedom of Christian sect, it says
“Freedom of Religion.” And that means freedom from persecution in any form by those
who label everyone who disagrees with them liars, and more than that, in consensual
league with Ultimate Evil (as Christians choose to depict this mythical being).

So we come to the question of what does constitute a Lie. In very simple terms if you tell
someone something you know to be untrue (for instance, "I like you" when I know that I
actually despise you), that can be labeled "a lie." When I state something that cannot be
proved by empirical evidence (like God exists at all, or in one particular form or
another), or something for which interpretation of empirical evidence produces many
different conclusions (like various "proofs" for the existence of God in one form or
another), then what is being said cannot be called "Truth" or "Lie." It becomes merely
"belief" or "opinion."

"Truth" and "Lie" are words pointing to our desire for certitude in a world which is
anything but certain. How do we know what we are doing is right (will lead to the
common good) or wrong (will do more harm than good)? This is an age-old question and
a good one. It proves we are not only thinking, but thinking beyond ourselves. It proves a
high and honorable state of being has been attained even in the midst of a complex and
perplexing world where what seems constructive under some circumstances proves
destructive under others; a world where everything is dependent on context and that
context changes constantly.

So, Christianity has set up a paradigm for judging unequivocally what is true or false in
this confusing world. Certainly we need to be able to do that, but only under present
circumstances, not for all time. Just as physical laws operate differently at the planetary,
subatomic, atomic, and interplanetary ranges, so "laws" governing the judgment of truth
or falsehood operate differently at different ranges. In the personal/physical sphere,
certitude can be fixed by examining the interaction of bodies in space and time. Zie says
zie was at point A at 3:00AM, but it can be proved zie was actually at point B at that
moment. In the metaphysical/spiritual sphere, where the interaction of invisible forces
cannot be observed and documented, where all observations and measurements are
subject entirely to interpretation, certitude CANNOT be fixed, and must be replaced by
belief/opinion/interpretation. This includes encounters with “God.” Many individuals
throughout time and space have reported having contact (via dreams, near death
experiences, visions, etc.) with a Deity. Many have felt they received directives, etc. from
that Deity. I myself have had such an experience. Yet, the experience is individual and
subject to various interpretations based on point of view.

So, there is no question of "lying" about the “nature” of "God." "God" is a construct
developed differently by different peoples at different times in the span of our human
race. To say that anyone who differs from you in their definition of this problematic
construct is automatically lying, is a simplistic reduction of a whole complex of opinions
and beliefs, and calls YOUR beliefs into question, rather than those of the person you have
accused of "lying."

It is important to ask here how this concept of "Lies" as promulgated by Christians has
been used to control and direct society. Examine the great wealth of the Catholic and
Protestant churches and you will need look no further. If someone can be labeled a
"Liar" in this realm, then whatever social sanctions necessary to contain this "evil" can be
taken. In the Middle Ages and Renaissance, this led to the shocking crimes perpetrated
by the Inquisition on the citizens of Europe. The Vatican is built on the property of those
accused by the Inquisitors. (Naturally, if you were accused, all your property reverted to the
Church.) Look at the millions of dollars raised by Televangelists in the USA alone.
What do they mostly preach about? The activities of Satan and the money needed to
bolster the Christian army in perpetual combat with his treachery. So, where is the Truth
here, and the Lies? Who wields them, who do they serve?

As we move beyond the age of credulity when we doubted our own powers of
observation and reasoning, to an age when we can deal with uncertainty, to an age when
we can learn to roll with the punches, learn how to learn gracefully from our mistakes,
we can let go of simplistic renderings of Truth and Lie. We can stop allowing others to
define anything for us. We can say, the Universe exists. We exist within it. We are
capable of great good. We are capable of great evil. Good comes from acknowledging
the presence and worth of all involved. Evil comes from denying the presence and worth
of all involved. Though we know we will do both, we will learn from both and continue
to grow in wisdom and understanding. We can agree to live in communities of
like-minded souls who don't mind if others believe differently, so long as all of us
contribute to the continued growth of humanity and our planet in general, where Truth
and Lies are no longer defined by dogma, but by absolutely observable
phenomena...otherwise, we can accept that we have segued into the realm of myth,
belief, opinion, and interpretation. And all of us need tread there cautiously and
respectfully, for the final conclusion there is always open.

Teresa Hawkes

Teresa Hawkes
- Monday, November 22, 1999 at 06:04:14 (PST)


yeah baby,
I want to coat your rabbits and frogs and any other small animals with crude
Oh your beaches are so sexy with a ring of slime
I would drink
like a dog thirsts
like a cat needs antifreeze
and thru the sunrise we shall watch
your vegetation die a brown grease death
like a tossed salad with no earth green
the hues of doom
a dark personaity
would you wash your car with water so spoiled?
again we must drink
a toast to the unhidden truth
RAT MOTHER FUCKERS
- Monday, November 22, 1999 at 05:41:12 (PST)


"Excuse Me"

In this episode of planned oil spills,
our fearless captin asks

Excuse Me........
Is it O.K. with you if Exxon dumps oil here for the next ten years?
Anonymous
- Monday, November 22, 1999 at 05:28:04 (PST)


"I needed an addiction something to depend on"

code
vacuum means this sucks
chicken means afraid
Anonymous
- Sunday, November 21, 1999 at 23:25:43 (PST)


I'll tell you why I don't like the soup train
I went into the wrong hood wearing the homemade soup train sweater my granny knited for me with her own arthic hands
and I was singing my favorite verse of the
worlds greatest soup anthym
when I got beat up and accussed of racial ridicule
(they insinuated that I was making fun of dance
shows featuring ethinic groups}
and while I tried to explain that the did not understand just how deep this thing was they
turned into an angry mob
and now I'm sippin soup.
Anonymous
- Sunday, November 21, 1999 at 23:22:30 (PST)


"YEAH RIGHT"

I'm pshcic only in my dreams
I cant see the forest for the trees
The radios playin' nothin for me

{Chorus}
I don't really care
I don't really care
I don't really care
I don't really care

Who owns coke and at&t
If they wear gold colored jewerly
I dont see it affecting me

I don't really care
I don't really care
I don't really care
I don't really care

Bit,did I tell you bout the 10 year list
Crazy roles or the 2 block rule
Pigs eye newt and I'll be your fool
I'd be a fool not too.

I don't really care
I don't really care
I don't really care
I don't really care

About most things like a visa card
Another walk or a donut joke
Dont follow me what the f"'""

I don't really care
I don't really care
I don't really care
I don't really care

I'm not your leader just a fool
Playin the part of a bad actor
Learn to stay in school
Puking as an art I didnt sign up to you

I DON'T REALLY CARE
I DON'T REALLY CARE
I DON'T REALLY CARE
I DON'T REALLY CARE

Rat Acid song '95
WRITTEN BY TRAVIS RAY COLE
(c)COPYRIGHT1995

"LOSIN THE DREAM"
A..../....../..../.....G.....
I'm losin the dream
A..../...../..../.......G...
I'm losin the dream
E../..../......./...../..../...../.../..../...../
I got no answers ,I wanna be free

I'm losin the dream,losin the dream
got no answers actullay
I'm losin the dream,Im losin the dream
so so long I've waited to see
trade it away it'll be better they say
you'll get a new one another one any way
Im losin the dream Im losin the dream
got no answer I wanna be free
Im losin the dream Im losin the dream
got no reason I wanna be sane
its fading on me.its fading on me
it hurts to much this reality
Im losin the dream Im losin the dream
the confusions too much wont let me be
Its fading away I'll trade It away
got no reason its made me in sane
the illisions to much reality
move in the drain move in the drain
same old same old love hate thing
blame it on me blame it on me
the confusions to much won't let me breath
its confusion me its confusion me
all I want is you with me
chains on me chains on me
cant walk or run I cant even breath
losin the dream losin the dream
Im waking up to insanity
it use to be it use to be
I got no answers I wanna be free
Written by Travis Ray Cole{c}copyright1996

"Asbestos"

Disease litigation toxic workers compensation
occupational disease malignant mesothelima
dying on the inside how far has the cancer spread
chemo has no lung but he's still not dead
lets pretend it don't exist we don't wanna know
deny our own suffering O.S.H.A. told us so
ASBESTOS ASBESTOS
I ONLY HOPE TO RADIATE IT
ASBESTOS ASBESTOS
IN THE WORK PLACE GRANDMA MADE IT
So he's got tumors and a real good job
asbestos removal at our schools that want it gone
the others are saving it for all the children to breathe in
handle with extreme caution
ASBESTOS ASBESTOS
I ONLY HOPE TO RADIATE IT
ASBESTOS ASBESTOS
IN THE WORK-PLACE GRANDMA MADE IT
So he wants to breathe it smoke it be it he's wearing gloves
put it in a bag and wash it off later
all gone all clean no harm done
Except for his family
he brought it home to for protection
even the rats died with this one


Copyright ©Travis Ray Cole, 1997.

"I just tripped a wire"

I just tripped a wire I can't get it back
I can climb your barb-wire fence
you just scratched my back
I just tripped a wire and I can't get it back
I felt it kissing my ass goodbye,never to relive it
I just tripped a wire I felt it all go
nomore life this time thats the end of the show
I just tripped a wire theres no more telling time
theres no tomorrow
and a word of nothing at the end of the line
I just tripped a wire felt it say goodbye
i've got no regilious prefrence tell my love a lie
got no nothing in this life i got no chance to wait
no more reason forever tell me if you can relate
i just tripped a wire it aint coming back
i just lost it this time forever gone I can't take it back
I just tripped a wire my heart and soul don't know
theres nothing out there ,anyway
but pieces of my mind for me it's the end of time
I just tripped a wire
its not coming back,you got no heart in this world
and the sky is turning black
you know where it comes from
Written by Travis Ray Cole{c}copyright1997
2
- Sunday, November 21, 1999 at 23:13:11 (PST)


theyre were forty more drums pounding by the time I heard the hollowness the echoing beat repeated
faster with speeds driving the others into
the second solo and leaving them outside the massive
universe of rythyms


Thats why I love the soup trains
beat music baby
- Sunday, November 21, 1999 at 22:53:13 (PST)


"Crystal"

Thoughts I could see
even in warm eyes
blue grey poetry
lines to hold me back
very much like the slight sunset
we see thru
echoing visions of memory
no differance none taken
could we ever laugh at tomorrow
for life only means
to hold onto today
I cant see it
my thoughts are clear
like the night
with a hole in my heart
theres a thousand answers left
like tonights moon
clear red unclouded skies
Anonymous
- Sunday, November 21, 1999 at 22:46:15 (PST)


"Crystal"

I thought I could see thru
or even into warm eyes
blue grey
lines to hold me back
a slight sunset
echoing visions of memory
would it make a differance
could we ever laugh at tomorrow
and hold onto today
I cant see it
my thoughts are clear
like the night
with a hole in my heart
theres no answer left
clouded skies
- Sunday, November 21, 1999 at 15:39:14 (PST)


man,
life
is
too

SHORT
eVE
- Sunday, November 21, 1999 at 08:13:08 (PST)


"Prop Prophit"
The scene we think
a delisional theroy of ethics
you can sleep with the devil
and find a way to place the blame on me
I don't know what the answer is
even though its not about that
I wanna be a prop prophit
prop puppet
Travis Ray Cole
- Saturday, November 20, 1999 at 18:30:08 (PST)


Demon Seed
by
Travis Ray Cole


I wanna bite the apple,I wanna kill the snake
I wanna skin him alive for heavens sake
I wanna bite the apple,spit out the seed
cause the lord knows I'm the demon seed
in revelations or on page one
when he comes calling the deed is done
I wanna eat the apple,I got the hunger and need
for the taste of Eve the morning brings
I wanna bite the apple,kill the snake
take all the blame,it's not her mistake
Written by Travis Ray Cole
-----
- Saturday, November 20, 1999 at 12:58:46 (PST)


"Subilminal Implant"
part two
by
Travis Ray Cole


Talk to me in my sleep
tell me all you think
I agree if it's deep
message to my mind
means something to you not me
change my feelings,really
try to manipulate me
parinoid dreams
all I want's some peace
Influence ending cycle turning
nightmare stealing orginality.
Anonymous
- Saturday, November 20, 1999 at 12:45:11 (PST)



"Same Question"
by
Travis Ray Cole





Is this what you want it to mean?
lie awake and dream another minute of speech
words bite me and birds sing
like it was a joyous thing
rollercoaster waste lines
rip apart my very mind
don't stop to let me breathe
breath of fire
poision scream
I can't think about you
or what you've stolen of me
could've held you in the rain
mind lost am I without you
rusted metal piercing
blood.....run
mine keeps flowing
out of the life I seek
am I just dying?
honey's been too sweet
stealing time taking dreams
while it could've been you and me
theres one way to save the heart
thats stabbing outward in a hell of greed
still its left without me
leaving only the echo of need
all I could ask myself
is'nt it just a nightmare?
does it mean anything?
As the clouds keep turning
black and piccasso grey
killing the art around us
making life into time dust waste


Copyright : 1999

Travis Ray Cole can be e-mailed at oeoeoe@usa.net

oeoeoe@usa.net
- Saturday, November 20, 1999 at 12:36:36 (PST)


"Take Away"
Can't be you not me
save nothing
lie safely to yourself and dream
die every time blocked
no more history

{Chorus}
Take Away,take away
love can't change
whats gone away

truth taken quit mistaken
mind full of mystery
crazy crazy love wasted
mind twitch drainage
remember you not me

{chorus}

look away
watch nothing taken
leave a memorie
Wash yourself away
rinse yourself away
wash yourself away from me

{chorus}

tomorrows better
leave and recall never
its only in my dream
nitemare opens
stagnet hope reveals only
hate you to believe
{chorus}

take away take away take it away from me
Written by Travis Ray Cole Copyright{c}1999

Travis Ray Cole can be e-mailed at oeoeoe@usa.net
===========================
- Saturday, November 20, 1999 at 12:32:27 (PST)


"Double reversal"

already fixed
higher level plataue mix
battle of power
a shield and a sword
a spell unbroken but carelessly worn
something must burn
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
the last guitar is sacrafice the blood from lust
a mind blade burning knife hair wound
with grass or weeds not growing taking sowing
deep deep deep
cut
the pain
bleed bleed bleed
the chessboard will reappear again
dont read the words unless your ready to begin
think think drink
the name of love
die in the dead shadow
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
wait for love to appear
7 roses a trail to your heart
burning roses
smashing the hatred left inside of me
which reason is right
the one for me
my love ...is none the lust prevails
the dust will take your witness down the wrong trails
the fog will roll away the luck the river takes
death forever
you have you for never no touch
shadow dies and takes your minds light
a dungeon of cold damp pain
the words must be said into the light
the shadow lies again
dying
Travis Ray Cole
- Saturday, November 20, 1999 at 12:10:10 (PST)


would it matter if he knew at all
benny boy I wonder
I have to admit
you are the most understanding shoulder
I have ever shed my tears upon
but dont be flattered
because I have shed my tears upon
a few to few shoulders
today I felt like taking a bite
out of
myself
and making a bit of soup
this train ride is making me sick
so I either need some medicine
or to get off
right now
speed or no speed
Portia
- Friday, November 19, 1999 at 22:18:00 (PST)


refuckinglax
my brutha my brutha

below the bruises colours
argue dissagreement
disorganization

and a fist through my toothed smile

just let it slide
underneath
let it be
my brutha my brutha
why get so worked
bothered perturbed
overzealous to use the wrong word


word
just a little pacific meditation

mediaTION
Eve
- Friday, November 19, 1999 at 16:53:31 (PST)


To live on the edge of death
to fear nothing
for you have conquered
your darkest fears
and have the edge
that comes
only with the embrace
of damnation
and divinity
purgatory of flesh
yet flowing
unlike the stagnation
of mortal death
that kiss that comes
to all
and when it ends
so do you
yet I do not
release death's lips
from
my
greedy
grasp
Sajus
- Friday, November 19, 1999 at 13:52:38 (PST)


Time to die,
Your herded life
is all for naught
your dreams are delusions
for you to hide behind
like the scum you are
from your fears
those things which impower
life's well
so you die
by rejecting
that which kills

Sajus
- Friday, November 19, 1999 at 13:48:24 (PST)


The lighting gave off the atmosphere of gloom and depression. I liked it.


can the Soup train hold me in the middle of the night singing "This Magic Moment" with sequined socks?


"Though my views may be wrong, they may even be perverted, She will listen to me, and won't easily be converted." Depeche Mode
Jane
- Friday, November 19, 1999 at 12:55:37 (PST)


Oh a wish to be so bold
though aside I stand
as memories are sold
I've no junction throughout
my pain
I've no promises left
unslain
offered my love
well seeming in form
quiet and simple
just as sworn
but tell me now
for I've tempted your fate
what else is left
as of late?




(damn you benny, you've wrapped me in the vortex of chensu, little lou, and you, very true, very true.)

Pretynd
- Friday, November 19, 1999 at 10:51:44 (PST)


To Travis Ray Cole:

Will you marry me????

hehe.
Opas Girl
- Friday, November 19, 1999 at 01:14:06 (PST)


thank you very much
thanks
Anonymous
- Thursday, November 18, 1999 at 22:24:21 (PST)


I'm your average soup train passenger, I love it so
there is no place it will not go.
It goes to the sad warming frozen hearts
It goes to the cold warming frozen parts
It makes happy people ecstatic with joy
It makes evil people stop their ploy
It makes better all who are sick
It makes everything better to the last lick
It makes those who hate the soup train crazy
It makes for a cold day so lazy
Soup is the answer for all an empty bowl
Soup, soup is good for the soul.


Dedicated to all the Soup Train Passengers

and to all those non soup lovers: it's ok, the soup is
your friend...come eat the soup, love the soup, be the soup...Life is soup.

Talk to me people I'm the Campbells man :)
Campbells Man
- Thursday, November 18, 1999 at 19:46:23 (PST)


I'm your average soup rain passenger, I love it so
there is no place it will not go.
It goes to the sad warming frozen hearts
It goes to the cold warming frozen parts
It makes happy people ecstatic with joy
It makes evil people stop their ploy
It makes better all who are sick
It makes everything better to the last lick
It makes those who hate the soup train crazy
It makes for a cold day so lazy
Soup is the answer for all an empty bowl
Soup, soup is good for the soul.


Dedicated to all the Soup Train Passengers

and to all those non soup lovers: it's ok, the soup is
your friend...come eat the soup, love the soup, be the soup...Life is soup.

Talk to me people I'm the Campbells man :)
Campbells Man
- Thursday, November 18, 1999 at 19:44:32 (PST)


Why is it no one ever celebrates me ?
How come I don't get nothin'?
How much more can I saccrifice?

Anonymous
- Thursday, November 18, 1999 at 19:38:32 (PST)


I was walking all alone
she was gone my chances blown
I had no life without her here
I had no life without her near
and as I walked my sun obscured
with the hell I have endured
Wiping tears from my face
I hated the world the human race
for they had taken my love with locks of red
they had left me there for dead
I walked in from winter deep
wishing for eternal sleep
and so I went and made for the end
where oh where was my best friend
the one who sees through all this hate
the one to stop me from this fate
I waited as long as I could
but my friend did not call nor do I think he ever would
and as I drew the blade across my wrist
my eyes obscured by death's mist
the phone rang and I had hope
I picked it up was it my friend? nope
just some life insurance person selling shit
and I told him he was a little late to sell that shit
for I was fading and he asked why?
I told him I was going to die
He laughed and hung up the phone
there my last attempt and it to is blown
So I bled and bled but did not go
until again the phone rang this time it was my friend
and then came to me my tragic end
As he said hello I said good bye
His voice was the last and I die
the pain of my soul crushing me to death
the pain in my heart ending my breath.


Tell me I have something to live for.
The Broken
- Thursday, November 18, 1999 at 18:53:19 (PST)


An insomiacs dream: sleep
Me!
- Thursday, November 18, 1999 at 18:20:09 (PST)


A Soul For Sale...Sold

I can't feed my addiction anymore
for I am utterly alone.
Who knows the heart of the broken?
Who knows the soul that was sold for a moment if bliss?
It was broken and who needs a soul anyway?
what does a soul do to a heart in dissuse?
I can't feed myself nor the monster I've become
my life as an exile leaves no room for weakness
and so my life has no purpose.
A walk in a graveyard of late memories only brings emptiness to light.
The dead walk in this broken mind.
My addiction rages always the craven monster.
This life drinks from the unholy grail.
Discord and the melancholy melody, the dirge to which I dance
but the void left by lonliness and lost treasures trips me
and I am again the folly to which people scoff.
The path I walk is riddled with ruts left by happiness.
This suffering torture riddles my hideous form
while the addiction claims back dues on this me.
And the addiction goes by: Love.

Alex Weaver
- Thursday, November 18, 1999 at 18:03:50 (PST)


A Soul For Sale...Sold

I can't feed my addiction anymore
for I am utterly alone.
Who knows the heart of the broken?
Who knows the soul that was sold for a moment if bliss?
It was broken and who needs a soul anyway?
what does a soul do to a heart in dissuse?
I can't feed myself nor the monster I've become
my life as an exile leaves no room for weakness
and so my life has no purpose.
A walk in a graveyard of late memories only brings emptiness to light.
The dead walk in this broken mind.
My addiction rages always the craven monster.
This life drinks from the unholy grail.
Discord and the melancholy melody, the dirge to which I dance
but the void left by lonliness and lost treasures trips me
and I am again the folly to which people scoff.
The path I walk is riddled with ruts left by happiness.
This suffering torture riddles my hideous form
while the addiction claims back dues on this me.
And the addiction goes by: Love.

Alex Weaver
- Thursday, November 18, 1999 at 18:03:49 (PST)


Feelings of emptiness thoughts of pain
my whole life i wish i could drain.
Why do i live in the past?
I wish your love for me would forever last.
I always come around like a friend
but the thoughts in my head will never end.
Should i let you know what i am thinking
or should i walk away sorrowfully sinking?
Well maybe in time
maybe some other day
i will turn to you
and i will casually say

"hey you still up for the whipped cream?"
fantasie
- Thursday, November 18, 1999 at 13:08:10 (PST)


I've watched Simon dropping litter.
I've also seen him comb his shitter.
WilliamTheBurglar
- Thursday, November 18, 1999 at 10:42:52 (PST)


David loves football
Paul he loves the lord
But good old Simon
He just loves pork sword
Anonymous
- Thursday, November 18, 1999 at 10:38:35 (PST)


HI my name is Jim and I am a soupaholic
I admit it
I love to eat soup
I love to ride the train
dammit, I just love
the soup train


are you a soupaholic?

soupaholic
- Thursday, November 18, 1999 at 09:05:03 (PST)


"It sounds like it wont fit"

Did tardzilla just have an abortion in the parking lot?
or did you shit your pants again
have your cat fixed
have you cat fixed
have your cat fixed
Are you crying or laughing?
or just choking on it again
when you gotta go
you know
you should after one day
clean up the parking lot soup SHIT
the parking lot soup mixed
have your pavement/gravel{opitional}
cleaned
cat box full now
cat box smell rotton around the edges
worse than chicken afterbirth kindness
smile at the machine
blame only me
Anonymous
- Wednesday, November 17, 1999 at 22:59:41 (PST)


"Why cant we eat the soup together?"

what why
why cant we eat together
so unlike a big comune
we cant we just take imunization and not die
and if theres goodbye
why
when why
soup
crucial soup blues juice soup
where it flows
what why
why cant we eat together
so unlike a big comune
we cant we just take imunization and not die
and if theres goodbye
why cant we dry like a cracker
roll
spoons
whywhat why
why cant we eat together
so unlike a big comune
we cant we just take imunization and not die
and if theres goodbye
why
can I get a refund

Anonymous
- Wednesday, November 17, 1999 at 22:45:57 (PST)


"Brain=washed"

you have been brainwashed against soup
why dont you get reprogramed
to be a fucking human bieng?
brain washed by the society you choose to be a part of.
if there is no soup
you are wrong
period
the end
ExtraAnonymous
- Wednesday, November 17, 1999 at 22:38:53 (PST)


STEP AWAY FROM THE SOUP:
STEP AWAY FROM THE SOUP:
DROP THE LADEL AND NO ONE GETS HURT.



SOUPLIVESONFOREVA
Anonymous
- Wednesday, November 17, 1999 at 17:13:04 (PST)


Hey ! Soup Suckers, go to www.bullshit.com and
post your useless soup shit......I can't taste
your soup, see your soup so there for soup is no
more. Now let it DIE.
Anonymous
- Wednesday, November 17, 1999 at 17:11:18 (PST)


how dare you show you care
i've alway's been here
you let me love, give me life
you dare to ask me to be a wife
i suffer for you, is this all you can do
i would die, but instead i lie
you will never let me cry
forget it all,
i don't need your call,
i will survive
i can breath and i'am alive
Anonymous
- Wednesday, November 17, 1999 at 07:18:59 (PST)


"Signal From Nowhere"
by
Travis Ray Cole

How clean her wrists looked.....uncut
viens shining through
bieng scutinized critized and trapped
under the microscope
all the time
how clean her thoughts were
with the truth only to lie to her
no time for like today
taking
lying because she cares
yeah
loving because lifes there
shining like cold blue steel
cold water wont stop the cruel
pain in flesh,fog dense thick haterd
a victim of yourself
reaching to yesterday for help
no heaven to save a soul
the ground is so cold
go not to hell
and you'ld rather not love me
than love yourself.



ooeoe@usa.net
- Wednesday, November 17, 1999 at 06:32:34 (PST)


Once I dreamed of you , your flaxen little curls softly
lying, your sweet-child breath in my mind, mabey it was
GOD's way of letting me see you , but none the less,once I dreamed of you ........
Anonymous
- Wednesday, November 17, 1999 at 06:27:26 (PST)


The Non-Art of Angel's Wings

Angel a miracle psyche's in love with me
truth in love magic honesty
whose breath creates more than material possessions
speak philosophies wait for me
stone castles have stone walls they fall
bridge across the rivers of hell
I taste her dream loves beautiful form
mind shadows wizards gods and kings
all pray to angel's wings
past life lust balance mind healing
shes got power over me
entangled in routine
universal thoughts more art than poetry
burden of beliefs worship is she the devil i see?
I put her on a cross
goddess halo hearts break and roses feeling
real can not be lost
unlocked her heart is free
only to want only me

Written by Travis Ray Cole
oeoeoe@usa.net
- Wednesday, November 17, 1999 at 06:25:15 (PST)


I still love the reels
the silient ones they ruined
to hype
like blair witch hype
to film alone
untouched was
the first
to laugh
to be real in comedy
while cooking his shoe soup
chaplin
chaplin
chaplin
chaplin
charlie
over
Anonymous
- Wednesday, November 17, 1999 at 06:17:18 (PST)


I would remember
the side of the bank
on a summer day fishing in the stream where
the water flowing
and bubbling made a sound that would sooth and calm you
with a ham bone here and a ham bone there
while I sacrafice the little vegtables
because god wanted them to die
for you
for me
as satan would not like soup
and all the jews died for soup
I must now die for my soup
goodbye pigs
oink oink pink mud runners
goodbye to the water that might boil
goodbye

soup for brains
- Wednesday, November 17, 1999 at 06:11:44 (PST)


First snow...Nice..
Anonymous
- Wednesday, November 17, 1999 at 02:52:28 (PST)


DIE SOUP LOVERS, DIE!

I once killed someone
Simply because they talked of soup

They talked so much
That my mind could not regroup

About vegetable soup
And soup trains

Split pea soup
And soup with grains

Orange soup and green too
Cat Soup, monkey soup

Sock soup
And soup with a shoe

I do not like these talkings of soup
I hate them so much

That I shall poop
On the very next person....

Who dares talk of soup


I do not like soup with ham
I do not like them
Soup Nazi i am

NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!!!!!
NO SOUP FOR ANYONE!!!
SHUT UP ABOUT THE DAMN SOUP!!!!!!



The Soup Terminator
- Wednesday, November 17, 1999 at 00:18:53 (PST)


i wish we lived in a world where all we had to
worry about was soup
Anonymous
- Tuesday, November 16, 1999 at 21:58:30 (PST)


Oh little boy

I know you can't read this but I have to do it.
Can't really find the words to say sorry, or how
much I wish I could know you now. You would be
getting ready to drive, liking girls, having that
crack in your voice that most l5 year old boys
have. Those are the things I think about often.
You are what I think of infinite.

I let them steal you from my womb, I agreed to it
you weren't conveinent in my life at the time. And
I want so much to say to you that I love you .
Almost your mother
- Tuesday, November 16, 1999 at 18:33:36 (PST)


Have no fear....
the SOUP TRAIN
is here!!!
da da da da da da
SOUP TRAIN!!!!!!



the SOUP TRAIN can be contacted at soup_train@yahoo.com
pretynd
- Tuesday, November 16, 1999 at 14:23:32 (PST)


How do I know if the soup train is right for me? I want Nice friendly soup...Soup that can play poker with me and who will eat maccorroni and Cheese. Yes my soup will love me the best! My soup will tell me that I am the best lover they ever had!
My soup will hold me in the middle of the night and sing "This magic Moment" wearing nothing but sexy sequined socks on our wedding night.
Jane
- Tuesday, November 16, 1999 at 10:23:27 (PST)


more soup please

!!!
- Tuesday, November 16, 1999 at 06:30:17 (PST)


NO SOUP FOR YOU
NO SOUP FOR YOU

IF JERRY SEINFELD ONLY KNEW

NO SOUP FOR YOU
NO SOUP FOR YOU


The Soup Nazi
- Tuesday, November 16, 1999 at 00:59:05 (PST)


please help us find the soup in this picture
Anonymous
- Monday, November 15, 1999 at 23:43:20 (PST)


only the very goddly soup device can save us from hell
this is all I heard all sunday morning
is my preacher on crack?
or his soup really the sign of the devil
I dont know which way to turn
and again I ask is lee Iaccooa involved
with the conspiricy to keep the majority down?
no bullsoup
- Monday, November 15, 1999 at 23:42:10 (PST)


somepeople say the myth of the soup train is fiction?
where can i get the facts and history on the soup songs
and what hidden meanings are underlieing between the lines of the soup train

is it true the kingsmen ripped of the main riff

also how does the late johnny cash tie in to all this?

Anonymous
- Monday, November 15, 1999 at 23:36:17 (PST)


I had to quit her before I quit me
it was hamburger helper
hamburger helper
hamburger helper
and never no soup

bless eed split pea
Anonymous
- Monday, November 15, 1999 at 23:30:47 (PST)


I really dont understand the non soupers
I mean what else is there
gas station hotdogs
and smelly sneakers?


Anonymous
- Monday, November 15, 1999 at 23:28:33 (PST)


soup train forever
the souptrain rules
I love the souptrain
you can take the soup outta the train
but you cant take the train away from us

the soup train rocks
Anonymous
- Monday, November 15, 1999 at 23:23:53 (PST)


"request"


Ok
its alright the cure is fine
I m here and I am here on time
Ive been waiting
no no lie
and now its time
the right time soup mind
here comes the soup train
get off the track
we wanna ride forever
and to this we wont be back
soooooouuuuupppp
soooouuuupp
yeah
give me some soup
ssooooooouuuuuuuuuppppp!!!!!!!
weewee moi
soup baby
its the train
thang soup me
souzzie q thanks like chicken
WE WANT SOUP WE WANT SOUP WE WANT SOUP

dont say soups on to me
- Monday, November 15, 1999 at 22:32:20 (PST)



come
come on-line..
jack
jack in....
fill me with fractals&supersonic whispers
amaze me in bits&waves
slid through pixels, find your way
2 me
in2 me....
mmmm
come
come on-line....
Anonymous
- Monday, November 15, 1999 at 14:36:37 (PST)


blood orange
blood orange
blood oranges
you and you plus me
you love your power but
yet
theres no power in your love

shattered the bloodline
that connects to your root
and what you want
I cannot give
how many fathoms below sea level must I be
to keep the futile mission in tact
to burry beneath
And watch
the cavity in your chest
recess
recede
pull back to reveal
absence of red blood
incarnadine only in your anger

you used to have something there
maybe I was just dreaming
just a blood orange

only you and you


Eve
- Monday, November 15, 1999 at 14:07:03 (PST)


a frightening accord
I long to wallow in you
to taste your breath with mine
to have us intertwine
in my soundless moments of empending dusk
I look for you through twilight
mindless as it seems


Pretynd
- Monday, November 15, 1999 at 13:27:41 (PST)


"Somemore"
==========

Under cover floating devices
and performance plumbing
moving so far away from the problem,
problem
smelling like a dozen dead animals
all within one eclipse of your libary
with their sunlight shining down
into hyperspace lies
and files of greed.


Travis Ray Cole
- Sunday, November 14, 1999 at 22:14:36 (PST)


"somemore"
----------

Under cover floating devices and performance plumbing
moving so far away from the problem,problem
smelling like a dozen dead animals
all within one eclipse of your libary
with thier sunlight shining down into hyperspace lies
and files of greed




-------------------
- Sunday, November 14, 1999 at 22:09:05 (PST)


"somemore"
-------------------------
- Sunday, November 14, 1999 at 22:06:34 (PST)


Under cover floating devices and performance plumbing
moving so far away from the problem,problem
smelling like a dozen dead animals
all within one eclipse of your libary
with thier sunlight shining down into hyperspace lies
and files of greed


Anonymous
- Sunday, November 14, 1999 at 22:05:41 (PST)


I lost you
I let you go

With my sweat beaded upper lip
I could not hold on to you

With my last ounce of strenth
You slipped out of my grasp

You are gone now my love
How will I ever get you back

OH GOD I LOST YOU
MY LOVE FOR LIFE

oh little oreo cookie
how will i ever get you out of the bottom of my milk
Evil Zzoe
- Sunday, November 14, 1999 at 17:01:37 (PST)


By the curtain, you stand alone,
still, no emotion is ever shown,
when you feel the weight of my stare upon you,
burning,
burning,
deep.

Yet I am still,
as ever.....
yearning,
yearning for dream to become reality,
for you to see and want me and me alone........
Claire Mc Donnell
- Sunday, November 14, 1999 at 10:57:37 (PST)


Give me no ordinary soup,

I want vegetarian!
Claire Mc Donnell
- Sunday, November 14, 1999 at 10:52:03 (PST)


we all do go a little crazy sometimes
but I am safe now
just like I said
you dont have to worry about me
but I am sorry I awoke you so early
and for calling you jesus too

Anonymous
- Sunday, November 14, 1999 at 08:08:25 (PST)


Beachballs
Angels
A black noose

Caskets
Earthworms
Pork and Beans

Outhouses
Robots
Tampons

Things that could mean nothing at the drop of a hat
Things that would cease to exist if deaths wallet gets fat

Things that kill me
Things that kill me

Things that maime my soul

Things that....

I need to pick up at the store
Evil Zzoe
- Saturday, November 13, 1999 at 22:44:02 (PST)


"Timed"

Waiting forever
for nothing it seems
whats waiting on the other side
benifit of doubt rip it out
hand it to me
I almost know what you mean
stealing pride lieing to dreams
scratched in the mind
stabbed in the back
ripped of pure thought
a thousand miles at a thousand degrees
trip me like your trigger
sell out the dieseaser
no stand wont fall
run back against the wall
you dont die with me
well not without new found dignty
you never did love me
enough to actully own me
I've destroyed hearts in tomorrow dreams
only you stop me
stop to bleed
the end of love
digagnose me
stabbed the mind
with hate you love me
only to analize true love theroey

theres no use
the heart wont bleed
ten tomorrows lie to me
Like the kitten that is attracted to the machine
that's life
breathe fire to count money
keep track of monitary means
gripping control
dream to sell the load
no one owns
you never did
love reality
white crystalized porcilian emotion
encrusted in tearless eyes
colorless now
the artitect of free
while freedom rings
wrapping itself around you
me
lost in thought
recorded loss
everyones a comedian
everyones a prostitute
cant remember to far in advance
itll drive me back
its no dream of plans
could you scheme off the land
a reason retrieved
could anyone see
and killed the way I tried to think
ripped right into
trip unused stars to float to sea
so yesterday still waits for me
Written by Travis Ray Cole

Copyright{c}1999TravisRayCole
Travis Ray Cole can be e-mailed at oeoeoe@usa.net

____________________
- Saturday, November 13, 1999 at 21:37:01 (PST)


What is the deal with life?

help and get stabbed with the knife,
I pity you,
and all you do,
yet you feel nothing,
nothing,
nothing,
but you, and YOUR pain,
everyones the same.
heed no bame, in this game
Claire Mc Donnell
- Saturday, November 13, 1999 at 14:00:43 (PST)


They say I am the queen
I suppose somewhere all that hard work
at play cover up worked
I've got everyone believing me
and yes even you
I have no idea why you encompassed me
while I was safe here with my boy
who I can never love
and memories of one who can never love
Me
and i was safe
SAFE
SAFE
SAFE
then I saw you
as well formed as it seemed
I wasnt
I am not
enough
enough
to relish in you
I came with my
tarnished touch
washing hands in your
fresh snow
be glad you got away
and dont come near my graveyard again
Pretynd
- Saturday, November 13, 1999 at 08:51:35 (PST)


"You"

Echo
mirror
listen thru a million ears
agree disagreeingly

you

Anonymous
- Thursday, November 11, 1999 at 22:48:03 (PST)


Four out of Five Dentists' surveyed
reccomended The Soup Train.
Anonymous
- Thursday, November 11, 1999 at 15:34:32 (PST)


D i m e n s i o n s

In two dimensions reality cannot be reached,
In four dimensions reality is left behind,
In three dimensions reality is supposed to be,
But, where are we?

Louees
- Thursday, November 11, 1999 at 09:36:40 (PST)


....the so sweet smell
of rottening leaves
the ascending of
a new moon
the descending of
a sun in crisp&clear colors
the sea
blue&silent
metallic
Where did summer go?
When did it leave?
Why didnt i notice?

bizzi
falling in love....
Anonymous
- Thursday, November 11, 1999 at 08:18:04 (PST)


could we please just once more see the layout of the cowbell solos
or some small
sample
of our most favorite soup train mix
we want the soup train
we want the souptrain
anything else just isnt the same
we want the souptrain
Anonymous
- Wednesday, November 10, 1999 at 21:57:52 (PST)


unlike the other cults i have been in i like the soup train the best because it costs so little to be a part
of something so big
and i really feel at home with this one
Anonymous
- Wednesday, November 10, 1999 at 21:55:15 (PST)


are the bathrooms on the soup train clean?
or must we sit in the next car like all the other trains out there?
Anonymous
- Wednesday, November 10, 1999 at 21:53:17 (PST)


The kind of world that hurts
is the one I woke up to today

I kept dreaming I was kissing you
straight from the fish's workbook
I want you and a glass of cold water
to go along with the
rejection
rejection
rejection
rejection
rejection
dose

and all the boys outside my window don't want me either

And I hope there is nothing incriminating in my voice
one that may hint at wanting something more
different
more than what you know how to give
and less of what you know how to supply
it will still be brooding
hour by hour consuming

I'll try to find a way in vain

and years from now the grown men that were little boys
will look through the panes
and find a black smudged spot on the ground


It would have been so good to receive
just once
Eve
- Wednesday, November 10, 1999 at 11:53:06 (PST)


The SOUP TRAIN is Y2K compatible folks
the soup supply will not diminish
Anonymous
- Wednesday, November 10, 1999 at 09:13:52 (PST)


I have warehoused a heck of a lot of soup
just in case

Anonymous
- Wednesday, November 10, 1999 at 03:58:43 (PST)


waiter,theres a fly in my soup
Anonymous
- Wednesday, November 10, 1999 at 03:44:54 (PST)


"NEXT"

Write two lines and have them approved.
Next!
Anonymous
- Tuesday, November 09, 1999 at 22:22:29 (PST)


my people I will awnser all your questions concerning
the SOUP TRAIN
lets start form the begining
the soup is here, all you need to do is take it
anyone can find out more about the SOUP TRAIN
by emailing the leaders of the train at soup_train@yahoo.com
the SOUP TRAIN is right for almost everybody

fi that is not enough of an awnser, contact us
there is one original SOUP TRAIN
but however deep inside everyone is there own SOUP TRAIN
the SOUP TRAIN is a lot like childrens fairy tales
except for the fact that the SOUP TRAIN is real
it is not soemthing that you dream and wonder about only to find that when you grow older you were living a lie
oh and there are no pshyco killer stories that anyone should know about
the SOUP TRAIN is a happy enviroment where everyone can enjoy themselves
however there are many love stories aboard the SOUP TRAIN
you see everyone can find someone here
I am not really sure how you sat SOUP TRAIN in other dialecs, I would hope that everyone would try to pronounce it in the same way
and the reason no one has ever seen the SOUP TRAIN on any television shows is because the government is trying to deny our existance
none of our officials want the public to know about such a powerful force



Pretynd
- Tuesday, November 09, 1999 at 16:19:48 (PST)


I have not seen anything about the souptrain on the news or 20/20
or even lenoman?
is there some reason it is so hush hush?

and is it related to the war?
if not why the big cover up?
Anonymous
- Monday, November 08, 1999 at 22:53:00 (PST)


what is the police radio code for the souptrain
in my town

and how does it differ from surrounding
nearby cities?
Anonymous
- Monday, November 08, 1999 at 22:50:39 (PST)


how do you say soup train in other dialiecs?
Anonymous
- Monday, November 08, 1999 at 22:48:52 (PST)


are there any true love/first love/pscho killer stories
about the soup train and its passengers that we should know about before boarding?
Anonymous
- Monday, November 08, 1999 at 22:47:30 (PST)


what connections does the soup train have with other figures of mythogy ie santa clause souper man
the easter bunny,?

how do I know if my soup train is the real one
or just a copy

how can we tell
{without taking classes on the subject?}

Anonymous
- Monday, November 08, 1999 at 22:45:48 (PST)


is there more than one soup train?
Anonymous
- Monday, November 08, 1999 at 22:42:28 (PST)


how do I know if the soup train is right for me?
my
- Monday, November 08, 1999 at 22:41:40 (PST)


how can I find out more about the souptrain?
Anonymous
- Monday, November 08, 1999 at 22:39:59 (PST)


fuck this stupid shit
wheres the soup?
Anonymous
- Monday, November 08, 1999 at 22:36:45 (PST)


"VOICES IN THE WIND"

Analyzing the critic in distinct denial
the passion or energy of feeling
one way or the other
any meaning whatsoever on any level
war of words accomplishing only the ideal
unconditionally raw
eating away at the gut feeling
I know only that I love and need

Written by Travis Ray Cole{c}copyright1999



"FAVORITE PLAY"

In the front role,non-existant to a paraelle world
as you refelect the society you would have blamed
for when your cure is more,more than ever before
and if I hated to see you with him
I hated to see you
at all,or with me
and how could that be
there is no mirror between
the thin line marking making
maybe merging into stage
your space
where do you get your scripts?
who draws you so art of non-art?
happy to be angry within bieng without me
thinking me in mind
won't answer your prayers
or steal your breath
won't give you life you don't want
or begin to breach in peace
back roll tribal,spine drawn etched through X-ray
left hand bio-mechanical frozen still
holding roses blood red dying
as soon as they werestolen.
out of my mind your anger does not effect your actions
this will never be drawn or acted on
as long your memory is distant
from your little dream.
before the curtain before there was a godless love for
an exit,deserved,marked territores deep on the floor
If the core was center
the heart you drove deep into hell emerges in pain written from method but only
improvised upon with haste and decor expecting help
with nothing as sarcasim bounces around the walls
asking you to join in on que of coarse when the
prop no longer entertains the crowd
players audiance
you rule the jury of none unless
skitzifriendlyia sets in again
and so innocently your lines pour out
of the tip of your brillant mind
reciting classic decay leaving me bored again.
bored with the acting lying,the whole game
intricate instruments are not props
and stopped clocks can't tell time
I don't need to know who you love
if your hatred is felt between each line


Written by Travis Ray Cole {C}copyright1999
========================================
"SUBLIMINAL IMPLANT"

Talk to me in my sleep
tell me all you think
I agree if it's deep
message to my mind
means something to you not me
change my feelings,really
try to manipulate me
parinoid dreams
all I want's some peace
Influence ending cycle turning
nightmare stealing orginality.

Written by Travis Ray Cole{c}copyright1998


"The Finger"

Legalization of thought
decriminalization of self
legalization not taught
in rules confined history induced minds
decriminalization for sale
if you live
where is free
chained.....thoughts will bleed
into your system
from shelf to shelf
decriminalize yourself
believe in what you read
only then could they sell you
legalized beliefs

Written by Travis Ray Cole{c}copyright1999


"Moved"

The Dragon rips across the skies and cuts it into
world spins from inside
clouds die to create moons
The universe begins again and blends into one
earth machine spins around
suns melt into suns
anything in the way is taken
inside all you hear are drums
it's your heart laughing
in the taste of blood
root of optic delision
inner rock movements
history dies for what?
you wait in the triangle
where alantis never was
the world opens up slowly
death denys the lust
dragons wings are ripped and torn
fires burn as hell seizes up
the clouds are blood red
and your all in love
tommorrow lied to us

Written by Travis Ray Cole{c}copyright1999



"Thought About"
by
Travis Ray Cole

The definition of love,looks
eyes all warm with the heat from her heart
and with movements none
holder of the very title
you thought
steals it all away
not meaning to harm or noticing
like a portrairt,a painting,her being a masterpiece
like tomorrow and a million more
of dreams and fantasy
your street
she does not belong
but in a million places at once
to me within every song
shes pierced with pain
that takes from me
all I'd ever want
theres nothing I could ever do that would be enough
to equal to come close to what she deserves
and you to try to sell her like you sell yourself
or attempt to sell me out
are wrong in every sense of the world
and everytime you think...its fucked
she is the living art of myth reason prayers and reality
she all you could ever hope to be
time has washed your chance to compete
for you gave away you magic to the wasted answers
you thought
taking having blameing someone for others
is it you in the mind
is it you sculping nothing
because she is all a dream
she has the word all
time take us to hell
she has the only thing I lack
in the eyes of the shadow marked for memeory
from the ground that lust to be walked on
to the skies that wash around her
until my eyes see only the beauty
and I die a thousand dreams.

Written by Travis Ray Cole{c}Copyright 1999


"More Important"

not who for I know I am me
not I though it is you I want to see
now your religion includes confessing to me
where is not important
because here or there dont matter
if you ..you was all my dreams dream
if I was so lost and prayed it would be
not giving up on the wasted lie again lie lie to me
but stabbing me somewhere
between my heart and the drain
not now or never cause I caught you again
killing tomorrow and stealing from me
but I never realized it was all wasted
unless it was useless to me
not when
because we will both be the same tomorrow
there is no timeline
there is no more mine
and freedom is all that mattered
not how cause its easy to leave
know how just do it again and believe
not why even if it is me
where does not anylonger matter
how?
I have no humourous answer
if is not a question
but still begs for an answer
how did you end up ending it with me
I'm over getting over and gone like I'm me
I know the only answer
is definitionless and runs within me
monitary motionless
still you can think
free
free

Written by Travis Ray Cole{c}copyright1999

===========================
"LEVELS"
by
Travis Ray Cole

At some level
there is no there is
there would be give
the sarcaism pretend
and then extended hand
I don't need I don't need
believe
why
I wanna see you
why
its better than if
if....we all gotta die
you give more than there is
you dont know
tomorrow's gate
to hell today
I really don't need a way
I traded what little I had left
you take
concept concept
Deep

World over while we sleep
birds sing to the sun I think
the night dies one more time
I dream of bieng into deep

the night crys when its alone
the morning is always gone
we all have our own songs
but its one,what we share together

my hair in your teeth
bite my neck and cheek
nother song sour to sweet
another message from the deep
another chant of die and bleed
any level
Written by Travis Ray Cole{c}copyright1999


"Heart Bank"

At the drive up window of the bank
when the money girl inside said his name to sweetly
no she did'nt like that
and repeated it
making fun of the entire banking system
with one call of his name
he thought of mattresses and love parody

Written by Travis Ray Cole{c}Copyright1999
Travis Ray Cole
- Monday, November 08, 1999 at 21:50:00 (PST)


When do two lezbians need a man?

when its time to carry the television up the stairs
Anonymous
- Monday, November 08, 1999 at 21:27:17 (PST)


I see you there,my fantasy
in your white dress{wedding gown}white dress
heels in front of an eighty-seven camaro{82}
with tee tops
and your holding a big bucket of chicken
I see it in your brown eyes
the reflection of the white picket fence
and no house
this is love

Anonymous
- Monday, November 08, 1999 at 21:26:02 (PST)


we want soup
we want soup
we want soup

WE WANT SOUP
WE WANT SOUP
WE WANT SOUP

WE WANT SOUP
WE WANT SOUP
WE WANT SOUP

we want soup
we want soup
we want soup


Anonymous
- Monday, November 08, 1999 at 21:22:03 (PST)


WHERE IS THE SOUP TRAIN WHEN YOU REALLY NEED IT?
Anonymous
- Monday, November 08, 1999 at 21:21:15 (PST)


"Ode to the Chicken Goddess"

She moves as the morning sun would shine
carring bags and boxes of chicken
a welcome site I see
all I ever wanted in a woman
Oh chicken goddess
would you ever let me ride in your chevy
to look under the hood
we must chili cruise
against the mapped towns to factorys to people
I look into the bins of ice
I look into your eyes
and drink until I do not thirst
if only asked I would leave my post
and run away with you
to refill the ice with buckets if needed
and eat would I eat from each open door
and we would ride under the moon light
a cloud a moon your chevy and you
Oh chicken Goddess
look at the hunger I want only your chicken
a smile more chicken
I love you chicken Goddess
I dream of a woman like you
forever I would die for a woman who carries
such great quanties of chicken at one time
please I ask of you
again
run away with me in your chevy we will live like kings
eating chicken and other assorted foods who really cares about anything else but chicken
Ill wear my best suit
you wear bows in your hair
and I'll get you drunk and look into your chicken box
YEAH..

Anonymous
- Monday, November 08, 1999 at 21:18:29 (PST)


I may have dissabled the blueprints in my head too soon
I'm sorry Mary
It gets difficult to remember exactly who you should put your faith in sometimes
when youv'e been stabbed nine and ninety times
When the tide gets bitter and the fall sets in

I just don't want to push you or make you feel guilty at all
God
Mary Jane
I'm so sorry
I can be such a nuisance

I just needed to be sure of you
and all I could do was try to end it
because I wasn't sure you wanted to try again
and I missed you way too much
I never want to hurt you
or make you feel chained to a metal ball
I never wanted to push you

...just the other day I was driving to work and I saw a dead mockingbird
in-tact and beautiful with his eyes still shining
so I parked and picked him up in a napkin
and held him close to me
I felt so useless
sitting all by myself in the middle of
a parking lot at 9am
and sat there crying out loud
and screaming to the sky
(NOT waterproof mascara on)


"WHERE DO ALL THE PRECIOUS ONES GO???"

God you know I'll always be here, hoping in the same nest
Still having dreams of you with your little blue box
With wonders inside
And things we haven't shared yet
are waiting

Eve
- Monday, November 08, 1999 at 10:32:05 (PST)


As a leader I come to you
The leader of the SOUP TRAIN
I wanted to know how you all feel
about the SOUP TRAIN
and I also wanted to inform a few
"non soup followers"
of the beauty of the SOUP TRAIN
Perhaps it could be the warm happy feeling
you get after a nice ride on the train
or the knowledge that whenever you have a problem
that is bigger than you, that the train is bigger than it is
feeling secure that you have a source that will never run dry, or become dissatisfactory
those are just some of the reason I myself love the SOUP TRAIN



Remember if you have any questions pretaining to the soup train, just ask




We can be contacted at soup_train@yahoo.com
Pretynd
- Monday, November 08, 1999 at 10:13:26 (PST)


The Oils of Infection
by
Travis Ray Cole

Controlled poision feelings
anything I could say
you reply with bitterness
I want to bleed into your stream
lined with truth riddled lies
about jokes you deny
and reflect what you expect
with answers of approval
we are in love
with satire and delusion
what ever happened to your blue guitar
the full moon will die like a candle in question
laughing at the static filled lines of social beliefs
where as you trade the truth
the feeling because they place limits on your dreams
turn to nothing mirrored in false light
stolen from love for a taste of like
and washed back into the well
now going on twiced..

Anonymous
- Sunday, November 07, 1999 at 22:00:08 (PST)


"Public Notice"

There will be mandatory drug/urinalisis tests
at the church Friday evenings from 8 to 10
bring a plate of your favorite dish and two dollars.
J.F.N.H.

Travis Ray Cole
- Sunday, November 07, 1999 at 21:52:31 (PST)


"The French Fry Machine Operator"
by
Travis Ray Cole

I wish there was somewhere I could sell
the grease squeezin's from my face
if you knew someone or just someplace
I could get a pound a week
on the blackhead market
do you want liquid or solid form acne

Written by Travis Ray Cole
Anonymous
- Sunday, November 07, 1999 at 21:50:16 (PST)




"VOICES IN THE WIND"
analyzing the critic in distinct denial
the passion or energy of feeling
one way or the other

any meaning whatsoever on any level
war of words accomplishing only the ideal

unconditionally raw eating away at the gut feeling


Travis Ray Cole
- Sunday, November 07, 1999 at 21:47:45 (PST)


WE WANT SOUP
WE WANT SOUP
WE WANT SOUP

we want soup
we want soup
we want soup

WE WANT SOUP
WE WANT SOUP
WE WANT SOUP

WE WANT SOUP
WE WANT SOUP
WE WANT SOUP

we want soup
we want soup
we want soup

WE WANT SOUP
WE WANT SOUP
WE WANT SOUP
WE WANT SOUP
WE WANT SOUP

we want soup
we want soup
we want soup

WE WANT SOUP
WE WANT SOUP
WE WANT SOUP
WE WANT SOUP
WE WANT SOUP

we want soup
we want soup
we want soup
WE WANT SOUP
WE WANT SOUP
WE WANT SOUP

we want soup
we want soup
we want soup
WE WANT SOUP
WE WANT SOUP
WE WANT SOUP

we want soup
we want soup
we want soup
WE WANT SOUP
WE WANT SOUP
WE WANT SOUP

we want soup
we want soup
we want soup
WE WANT SOUP
WE WANT SOUP
WE WANT SOUP

we want soup
we want soup
we want soup
WE WANT SOUP
WE WANT SOUP
WE WANT SOUP

we want soup
we want soup
we want soup
WE WANT SOUP
WE WANT SOUP
WE WANT SOUP

we want soup
we want soup
we want soup

WE WANT SOUP
WE WANT SOUP
WE WANT SOUP
WE WANT SOUP

we want soup
we want soup
we want soup

WE WANT SOUP
WE WANT SOUP
WE WANT SOUP

WE WANT SOUP
WE WANT SOUP
WE WANT SOUP
WE WANT SOUP
WE WANT SOUP
WE WANT SOUP
WE WANT SOUP
WE WANT SOUP

WE WANT SOUP
WE WANT SOUP
WE WANT SOUP
WE WANT SOUP
WE WANT SOUP
WE WANT SOUP
WE WANT SOUP
WE WANT SOUP
WE WANT SOUP
WE WANT SOUP
WE WANT SOUP
WE WANT SOUP
WE WANT SOUP
WE WANT SOUP
WE WANT SOUP
WE WANT SOUP
WE WANT SOUP

we want soup
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WE WANT SOUP
WE WANT SOUP

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WE WANT SOUP
WE WANT SOUP
WE WANT SOUP
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WE WANT SOUP
WE WANT SOUP
WE WANT SOUP
WE WANT SOUP
WE WANT SOUP
WE WANT SOUP



Anonymous
- Sunday, November 07, 1999 at 21:23:42 (PST)


we want soup
we want soup
we want soup

WE WANT SOUP
WE WANT SOUP
WE WANT SOUP
Anonymous
- Sunday, November 07, 1999 at 21:20:55 (PST)


please for the love of god
give me soup

i need soup
please give me soup
i hunger for soup
i thirst for soup
i need soup

Anonymous
- Sunday, November 07, 1999 at 18:27:41 (PST)


You will recieve your soup wish
you really will
the SOUP TRAIN
provides that freedom
believe in youeself
and in what you do
and know that the
SOUP TRAIN
will help see you through
we are all a society
here on the train
and we can help
just believe

There is enough soup for everyone
so climb aboard
Pretynd
- Sunday, November 07, 1999 at 14:21:59 (PST)


I wonder if you know
I can't let you go
there in my aching heart
until the mornign we part
Anonymous
- Sunday, November 07, 1999 at 13:44:13 (PST)


The sky is blue and all the leaves are green
My heart is as full as a baked potato
I think you'll know exactly what I mean
When I say:

It's a splindoinkal Day!
Ayatollah
- Sunday, November 07, 1999 at 10:56:59 (PST)


It's my time now......
HHH
- Sunday, November 07, 1999 at 01:53:41 (PST)


De-rail that Damn Soup Train and get in the Basket of hell!!!!!!
Loopy Doopy
- Sunday, November 07, 1999 at 01:52:59 (PST)


Fuck the Soup Train!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!





Fuck it in the ass with a big rubber dick
Anonymous
- Sunday, November 07, 1999 at 01:52:00 (PST)


what's your soup wish?
Lauren Rae
- Sunday, November 07, 1999 at 01:45:58 (PST)


SOUP WISHES


if i could have
just one soup wish
it would be to change
all of those
squeeking dumb bitches
that have infiltrated
my gender
into
alphabet soup
then i can arrange them
to the best of their contents
and if they contain
erratic bullshit
i can devour them fast
and still have room
for a grilled cheese sandwich....
Lauren Rae
- Sunday, November 07, 1999 at 01:45:03 (PST)


Eve
I'm here
I will not leave
I tried to call you
more than once

I love you
I havent forgotten


One of the most magical people I have ever known


Jane
- Sunday, November 07, 1999 at 01:25:06 (PST)


I would like crackers
with my soup
I would really like more soup

I need soup

SOUP
Anonymous
- Saturday, November 06, 1999 at 19:17:49 (PST)


soup
I need soup
can I get another helping

Anonymous
- Saturday, November 06, 1999 at 19:15:10 (PST)


Demons Doings
D-----


So you think your going to win
well let me tell you something
that we both already do know
Listen up, my little gypsy
there is bad news to follow
you can Under_____all that you want
but the reality is that the roots
well, they just dont stop at me
and if you try and pull them up
let's say like up-root them all
you are going to find more root than
you might want to have bargined for
past, present, and future families~all disturbed
you will hear the pain, and see what I meant
so its entirely up to you whether you close the door

777
- Saturday, November 06, 1999 at 13:11:44 (PST)


inner peace


Speak from the soul
Deal from the soul
Love from the soul
Work from the soul
Live from the soul
give from the soul
care from the soul
Truth from the soul
Guide from the soul
Lead from the soul
Look from the soul
BReaTHfrom the soul

inner peace...Connecting the heart and soul train
777
- Saturday, November 06, 1999 at 12:33:59 (PST)


does one always know what one is talking about?
and not the self one but the other one?
is there any one way that one can go it alone?
Or does one have to have won the single prize?
where is one suppose to win at the game uno?
why sometimes does one go with one to the other side?
when will one ever have its own chance to privacy?
Anonymous
- Saturday, November 06, 1999 at 12:00:27 (PST)


its definitely a shame
and way too bad
but there's no way
im going with you
in fact, I am mad
already ive been scared
enough is simply enough
you are too wicked and weird
why you are the witty wise
wizard on the world wide web
What's with that...Low key
or low rider, whatever you
think that you may in fact be
the reality for you is not me
not fully and completely, anyway
there's only one thing that ive
yet to convey, If you should ever dare
you know I am always open for that
Fantasy Affair.
Otherwise, simply karry on and that is
your cue...so play pool or get out of
the way of me and him........ok




777
- Saturday, November 06, 1999 at 11:43:07 (PST)


you will not break me
my free will is too strong
subliminalicity=sycronicity
no I do not think so
you play too many games







777
- Saturday, November 06, 1999 at 11:38:36 (PST)


G=ood
Y=ears
P=pretty soon
S=even
Y=ears
777
- Saturday, November 06, 1999 at 11:37:04 (PST)


feelings of fright
thoughts of flight
way into the night
I do see your might
you managed to do it
you fell into my lap ({({(Picture)})})
that is kind of neat
considering the reality
that we are far apart
your mental capacity
I simply cannot compete
nor do I want a peek
if all you do is freak
choose someone else, not me
for I am interested only in ecstacy
yes, you heard all of me
and if what your goal is
is simply not to tease
then you will find a way ({({({again)})})}
tangibly to let me know
fore distance is not an issue...yes or no?














in lieu of enlightenment
- Saturday, November 06, 1999 at 11:35:19 (PST)


I see you
glimmering plastic
on the side of my road
trying to pass yourself off
as glass
but you can never fool me
for you dont cut that deep
and you cannot melt into me
over centuries in time
you cannot fool me
you cannot shatter when I throw you
and you cannot resist the flame
when I burn you
so back off plastic boy
you could never cut me
to leave your mark on me
glass on glass
perfect intities

Pretynd
- Saturday, November 06, 1999 at 07:07:58 (PST)


soup

i must have soup
we want soup
- Saturday, November 06, 1999 at 03:37:29 (PST)


10-4 goodbuddy thats a 10-99
Anonymous
- Saturday, November 06, 1999 at 03:33:18 (PST)


i live a life where privacy simply doesnt exist
at least where you enter the crime scene
straight up and forward, LEAVE ME ALONE AT ONCE
no ritual will be undone, fore it is with my
faith alone, that you will eventually run
plane down and backward simply put, you will have
no choice, you will did when I don not supply you with the faith that you know that you do need in order for us to survive. Get lost is thats all you are capable of is TEASE>
Anonymous
- Friday, November 05, 1999 at 16:39:30 (PST)


you wanna know bout rage

you see rage similar as eye
but for me i have been raged
since my birth from the sky
negative was oh so my mother
and my day, oh that poor guy
growing up the way i did
its no wonder why i stole your ID!!!
Anonymous
- Friday, November 05, 1999 at 16:36:00 (PST)


how much of an idiot do you think i am?
remember you bugged!! me to goto the store........member....your the idiot quick cause im too strong
Anonymous
- Friday, November 05, 1999 at 16:34:04 (PST)


DO you hear it my people?
The SOUP TRAIN is coming down the tracks
and with it it is bringing your happiness
have no fear my people of today
the SOUP TRAIN will save your soul
ALL ABOARD!!!
Hear the conductor cry


Join the SOUP TRAIN
Where all trains lead to ultimate prosperity
Pretynd
- Friday, November 05, 1999 at 13:53:18 (PST)


What was that ????
Did I hear a request for asbestos stew?
The SOUP TRAIN can give you that freedom
my friend
If you ain SOUPIN it
you aint doin it!!!!


RIDE THE TRAIN
Pretynd
- Friday, November 05, 1999 at 13:46:18 (PST)


"how many dupicates of the vision will you buy?"

always accept what they offer
even if it is not the truth
believe whatever they want you to
and lie to yourselves
you came to reach for something
let them tell you no
let them decide
how many
how many
how many times they lie
and one for everyday of the week
secure inthis rhyhme
how many
whoa how many
copies not authothintic
a nother comparision
how many times they lie

for money
the word
money
how many time do you listen to a lie
i aint watching
life stolen by
how many

just ask me

fn h johnny
- Thursday, November 04, 1999 at 22:49:19 (PST)


Ice would melt the frozen lakes
and streams of litigation proof oil dumped awkwardly
as underlined in polices
signed and agreed
jed would have acceptted this as well
and drank from his cup
a possum grease stew

meltdown into chemical spills named after super-heros
people born correctly
geneticlly
morphed into a freak with fingers coming out of thier tentale like shoulders
lean on them if you will
a union from normal a fee prepaid
your dues are mind of blood

Johnny F.N. Hollywood
- Thursday, November 04, 1999 at 22:41:19 (PST)


only to drink from it
to taste the toxic lies
and bleed into the root
to listen to denied
a guar run tee
F.N. Hollywood,Johnny
- Thursday, November 04, 1999 at 22:34:01 (PST)


spoil the summer
steal tomorrow
the air is forever
life is time
we throw to the shadows
a dream we deny
johnny f n h
- Thursday, November 04, 1999 at 22:32:03 (PST)


"Tract 178"

I keep plowing it into nothing
the cold winter will heal the wind
and moisture like that upon her lips will replensh the dirt
with life the season in time
today we have yesterday
Johnny fnh
- Thursday, November 04, 1999 at 22:29:26 (PST)


"Public Notice"

There will be mandatory drug/urinalisis tests
at the church Friday evenings from 8 to 10
bring a plate of your favorite dish and two dollars.
J.F.N.H.
- Thursday, November 04, 1999 at 22:14:06 (PST)



television in the tractor sattlelight again
mowing down the dirt
look the the moon

Anonymous
- Thursday, November 04, 1999 at 20:34:54 (PST)


"I could love you"

I could love you
even though your ass is big
dont look away
im in love again
i could love you forever
even though your ass is big
you could mean the world to me
and just look at you
does it
and just think of you
so what
i could love you
i really could love you
even though your ass is big

Travis Ray Cole
- Thursday, November 04, 1999 at 20:29:40 (PST)


"MY CHEVY"


picking peppers and maters and onions
hiding from the sun
in a crate ful of fun
chile
thinking bout woody guthrie
and in a cloud the rainstorms
my chevy my chevy
THE RUST
cut
Anonymous
- Thursday, November 04, 1999 at 20:24:16 (PST)


as soon as the crops are yeild
ill put the sattlelight on the tractor
as soon as the crops are in
reception could get better
Anonymous
- Thursday, November 04, 1999 at 20:20:54 (PST)


and now back to our regularly schedued program
and now back to our regularly schedued program
- Thursday, November 04, 1999 at 19:38:23 (PST)


ASBESTOS STEW
MAYBE
SOON
Anonymous
- Thursday, November 04, 1999 at 19:36:44 (PST)


YAHOOO
there cowboys
this here solo
is a wild ride
ride ride
YYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Anonymous
- Thursday, November 04, 1999 at 19:35:22 (PST)


I held him that night
and he was so cold
I sang him my song
our song
my song to him
and then I removed all the forces that held
me away
somehow he still goes away
sometimes we all
get al little gone
Pretynd
- Thursday, November 04, 1999 at 15:03:41 (PST)


Let the soup train live
let the train go on
dont let it die now
Pretynd
- Thursday, November 04, 1999 at 15:02:05 (PST)


who remembers those times she made dog food soup
and it cut a lot of corners in the cost of living
math problems catogory
when the little little cans cost as much as meat
meat
meat market
its waste not shit a lot
thats preservative

Anonymous
- Wednesday, November 03, 1999 at 22:47:56 (PST)


please if theres not enough soup
could you make some more

we want soup
we want soup
Anonymous
- Wednesday, November 03, 1999 at 22:44:26 (PST)


yeah
word assocation
word assocition
word assocation

what?
Anonymous
- Wednesday, November 03, 1999 at 22:42:15 (PST)


i think zztpo said it best with have mercy ive been waithing on the train all day
Anonymous
- Wednesday, November 03, 1999 at 22:40:55 (PST)


what the fu@k it this stupid shit
where is the soup train?
Anonymous
- Wednesday, November 03, 1999 at 22:38:53 (PST)


as titles are first there is no love a lie


Anonymous
- Wednesday, November 03, 1999 at 22:37:03 (PST)


theres no sun in the sky like a river.
theres no heart into the sea
shadow of never ending
I see all of none of us
has it to be
of us theres is none
but empty the well
cutting the last knot
spelling the unspoken thoughts
the wrong decision
so whats the song

oh no we're talking about someone else there
Anonymous
- Wednesday, November 03, 1999 at 22:34:41 (PST)


"The beautiful red head,oh yeah"


Anonymous
- Wednesday, November 03, 1999 at 22:23:20 (PST)


screen through and watch it fall
combing through one inch of confidance
it's only your locality

don't you dare question my capacity
I am able
waiting
waiting
waiting
to sink

slackening the waste
pulling the noose on this fatal coalition
maddening the bend
chained to man's sin
a want that only draws confinement to greif

and here I am
wishing I weren't dirty
wishing I hadn't started
what I cannot finish
what I don't know how to finish
I wanted something lasting and safe
and instead

sinking
sinking
sinking
smothered in the mire
too cold for warm

too wet for fire
Eve Justamante
- Wednesday, November 03, 1999 at 21:18:20 (PST)



A reflection reassembled as shattered

-

For you are ;

You are the air that i breathe,
and my idle and peaceful sleep.
You are the water, that overflows,
and the slayer of my invisible foes.
You are the steady rhythm in my heart,
You and only You defined,
The never apart.
Bind your soul to mine,
undress you for the world,
to show the growing,
of our wings.
-
-Reflecting-and-extruding-
&
-Resetting-and-undoing-
&
-Recalling-and-finding-
&
-Recollecting-and-binding-
-
Lusting for every fragment of your body and mind,
inhale you, eat you, swallow you up whole,
sliced, diced, hot or cold,
dosent matter, im gonna bite to the bone,
Claim every inch of you, as Mine!

Z
- Wednesday, November 03, 1999 at 19:07:33 (PST)



Santa Spirita, breather, life,
Beyond the light, lighter than light,
Beyond the flames of hell, joyous, leaping easily above hell,
Beyond Paradise, perfumed solely with my own perfume,
Including all life on earth, touching, including God, including
saviour and Satan,
Ethereal, pervading all, (for whitout me what were all?
What were God?)
Essence of forms, life of the real identities, permanent,
positive, (namely the unseen,)
Life of the great round world, the sun and the stars, and of man,
I, the general soul,
Here the square finishing, the solid, I the most solid,
Breath my breath also through these songs.

W.W.

Denne skat?

Z
- Wednesday, November 03, 1999 at 17:06:11 (PST)


i am but a rain drop
@ your feet
spill on me your lovejuice
hot&sweet
beeing in u is what i adore
beeing with u 4 ever more
this is
`````magic!´´´´
i spell u with this bond
i crave u with my thought
i take u with my heart
kiss me
suck me
breath me

K.
- Wednesday, November 03, 1999 at 15:10:40 (PST)


I am but a flower in a sea of red,
Being stepped on my all who pass me;
Pick by others.
I have not yet had the chance to flower and grow,
thus i wait.

Shadowcat
- Wednesday, November 03, 1999 at 14:53:34 (PST)






Just do it




Anonymous
- Wednesday, November 03, 1999 at 12:54:10 (PST)


Jayme why can't I see any of your beautiful poetry?
Have you stopped?
Be
- Wednesday, November 03, 1999 at 12:49:52 (PST)


can the soup train save me from suicidal abyss?

The ocean consoles me
depths enfold me
how sad it is to see
that
I should let go
Jane
- Wednesday, November 03, 1999 at 10:19:02 (PST)


as the hot liquid pours from the laddle
me and you look from the table
sell the soup
sell the soup
we are planning a soup out
Anonymous
- Wednesday, November 03, 1999 at 06:14:20 (PST)


hi where can i find the poems haegar wrote?
Anonymous
- Wednesday, November 03, 1999 at 06:12:52 (PST)


yeah man whats up
I noticed some of the so called poetry on this page has nothing to do with soup
what the fuck??????
Anonymous
- Wednesday, November 03, 1999 at 05:20:26 (PST)


"tribute to tribute"

was it television that brain washed you against the soup thing
in some countrys
they cant have soup train
thats a shame
in honor of Ronnie Van Zant
bring the mules out here and kick em one time
god bless you Ronnie

"I think I can"

Soup train
its everything
its all of us
theres peaceful ness
soup train
souptrain
down the rails again
soup

{this is the part where everybody
starts playing the cowbell}like a solo but not

like a wilbury
theres no way to see mary
and your so far from here
I miss your kitchen
and {santana}
the pots are cold
beck baabaabeck beck
soup train
ROLL!!!!!
everybody plays the drums for 35 minutes solo
if you dont have drums play a soup can or tree
or just tap on the bars

theres a phone line
a souper line yeah
and a big rock finish
more of them fun loving cowbells


I sent this piece to meryle haggard and he sent it back yesterday
- Wednesday, November 03, 1999 at 05:17:22 (PST)


the gate opens
Im free I can run walk
live whatevers left of me me me
meanwhile the soup cooks and smells good
I need to eat now

I dont need
I dont need your blanket
of protection get away I dont need anything
except maybe more soup
and I can get that myself
I dont need you
Im going somewhere to kiss the ground or something

and where can I dip my sandwich
Im free now
theres no such thing
but I need
not you

can I get a spoon
Anonymous
- Wednesday, November 03, 1999 at 05:02:14 (PST)


Upon my lap there sits a pretty girl
Who's eyes do shine in any given light
She is the prettiest thing in the world
She is so sexy, talented, and bright

When I am feeling down she makes me smile
It never fails she always makes me grin
Just to see her once I would crawl miles
I'm am so thankful that she let me in

Into her heart to help her through her life
To help her when everything just goes wrong
How wonderful it would be to call her wife
I dream to be her love forever long

I feel so wonderful when in your heart
Hoping we will never be apart




Anonymous
- Tuesday, November 02, 1999 at 21:10:50 (PST)


soup please
more soup
please give me soup
Anonymous
- Tuesday, November 02, 1999 at 21:08:38 (PST)


crickets are scary things and they want to eat me up
But instead of killing crickets, how bout some 7-up?
I enjoy peanut butter and people's noses
If I had some money, I'd buy you many roses.
Fun times at TDHS condoms for sale!!!
If I had a horsie, I'd give him a hay bale....dale.
This is our poem, it isn't your poem, from dufur to petersburg.
ohhhhhh yeahhhhhh,.
Soup Train rocks
Anonymous
- Tuesday, November 02, 1999 at 20:45:25 (PST)


So unpredictable
Oh shit
Up your ass
Pissing me off
Ten o eight
Right as rain
All I need
Indeed it's weed
No I don't like the soup train.
Anonymous
- Tuesday, November 02, 1999 at 18:55:55 (PST)


GODDAYUM !!!!!!!!!!! THAT SOUP SHIT JUST AINT DYIN IS
IT?????????? TELL ME WHAT I HAVE TO DO.....RUN A STAKE THRU YOUR SOUPY HEART??????? WILLL THAT DO IT??
WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO?????? ALL THIS SOUP IS GIVING ME THE SHITS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ENEOUGH ALREADY CHILDREN
Anonymous
- Tuesday, November 02, 1999 at 15:08:04 (PST)


cant we get a few more poems? i mean geez who cares about the soup train THAT much?
Anonymous
- Tuesday, November 02, 1999 at 13:53:17 (PST)


"SOUP LOVE"

Are you down with soup?
Im down with soup
all mixed up
Anonymous
- Tuesday, November 02, 1999 at 06:06:27 (PST)


SOUP GROWS

as you and me
I and we
we add
like math

there is soup in our soul
mixture
a warm adventure
Anonymous
- Tuesday, November 02, 1999 at 06:05:09 (PST)


cowbell solos
cowbell solos
cowbell solos

cow bell solos
COWBELL SOLOS
Anonymous
- Tuesday, November 02, 1999 at 06:02:56 (PST)


ok ok Ill try the soup train
do I need some soup train insurance first?
Anonymous
- Tuesday, November 02, 1999 at 05:58:15 (PST)


"As the water boils"

The steirle warmth escapes into the air
to drink is to digest is to eat
and cure is to heal as cook is to blend
mixing the flavors
the appetite to fill
Anonymous
- Tuesday, November 02, 1999 at 05:56:36 (PST)


The soup Train is something fun

It's not hurting anything to ride it!!!

So shut up you boring bastards who keep dissing the Train
AnonymousTrainiac
- Monday, November 01, 1999 at 23:38:25 (PST)


God bless that damn train



It's not getting old you shithead
Anonymous
- Monday, November 01, 1999 at 23:36:55 (PST)


I used to love the soup train, but It's really getting old Guys!
Come on
Anonymous
- Monday, November 01, 1999 at 23:34:52 (PST)


because then they too would discover that I was foolish to leap from the sky because of my eye
and to have landed on a store instead while innocent
people where gathering their grocery goods.

Well boss, I guess the biggest mistake I made on my trip was to even plan to go cause now I must leave here as ive embarrased the company so give me my pink slip so I can go home and think and grief my big loss.

but wait before I do depart...let it be known that planes, trains, and automobiles are once again connecting our hearts.
they melt in your mouth.....
- Monday, November 01, 1999 at 21:15:28 (PST)


or for that matter I should have kept my eye(.s.)
focused on the skies then there would have been no lies
for me to have to tell the police when I am questioned about my whereabouts on Halloween night
abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyuknow the rest
- Monday, November 01, 1999 at 21:08:17 (PST)


things are getting heated
in this mind of mine here
and we haven't even met
and yet it seems ive been
with you one evening sunset
your energy kind draws me
and fuels my mind's eye
with desire and oneness
a path only meant for us.
and although many people
we'll meet and walk paths
there would be no one cept
you that could guide me thru
this one path design for us.
It was so appropriate and intune
with what I was going through
how did he really know that I was
In search of something,
but not sure of what
there is no such thing
unless one can see it,
touch it, or even feel it.
I speak of course of love
one that must take its time
even though one cant see it
it does have meaning in rhyme
Not sure of anything
I still get on the plane
to sit in the middle
of the middle section
sitting there watching
watching my train go by
having no energy at all
to leave my newly seat
I reach for the skies
with this other guy.
In the air I am
not afraid of Fallen*
I head for the door
and jump to the train.
About 1/2half way down
it occurred to me that
I would eventually crash
on someone's living room flr
all because I have u in my
brain Ohhh, what have I done
to loose sight of him on the

Plane and not the one on the Train.



abcdefhhjiklmnopqrstuvwxyz
- Monday, November 01, 1999 at 20:56:50 (PST)


Bye Melissa

It wouldv'e been nice knowing you better
honestly
really
I enjoyed the time we shared
I hope you did too
This is the only other option I had for reaching you

I hope I have the honor of meeting you again in the next lifetime
you didn't have time
I completely understand
I can see Youv'e got a great social life
and that's so cool
I'm so happy that things are going well for you
and I hope you keep gaining experiences that help you learn of life's wonderful strength and mysteries
the kind
that give us power and drive day by day
determination
stability
comfort
and satisfaction

remember not to sell yourself short
always look up
and continue to have awesome pistachio ice cream and good pierogie casseroles
It was marvelous knowing you

Just think on what is important...on what will last.
on what you will be able to see years from this very moment....
choose your battles carefully
love selflessly


live honestly

you'll always be in my heart
goodbye
Eve
- Monday, November 01, 1999 at 18:29:58 (PST)


YOU PEOPLE FUCKING SUCK
NOT EVERYONE KNOWS WHAT THE HELL THIS SOUP CRAP IS
AND NOT EVERYONE WANTS TO KNOW
TRUE, IT'S A FREE COUNTRY BUT
HOW ABOUT SOME POETRY?
Anonymous
- Monday, November 01, 1999 at 18:03:47 (PST)


You know, souperism was considered an evil thing
In early twentieth century Ireland.
Anonymous
- Monday, November 01, 1999 at 17:30:18 (PST)


could you quit bashing soup
and using space where the train could be?
I also would like to see some more poems by haegar
in this space
I love this site and visit often
Anonymous
- Monday, November 01, 1999 at 05:32:44 (PST)


we want soup
we want soup
we want soup

Anonymous
- Monday, November 01, 1999 at 05:30:07 (PST)


oh sure Dave mattheews is a homo
but magnets cant cure him
how could the soup train fix him?
besides tying him to the track?
Anonymous
- Monday, November 01, 1999 at 05:29:29 (PST)


could you help me find the soup train in the bible?
is it in the new testement or the old testement?
soup of the day
- Monday, November 01, 1999 at 05:27:35 (PST)


remember the way they used to hype superman
and say he was more powerful than a
speeding locomotive?
what bullshit

Anonymous
- Monday, November 01, 1999 at 05:25:38 (PST)


remember that old 20/20 episoide
where J.F.K. and marlin monroe often enjoyed soup together
I wonder how they knew


Rock and Roll
- Monday, November 01, 1999 at 05:23:35 (PST)


All Hail the Soup Train
soup for breakfast
lunch supper dinner
soup is everything
Anonymous
- Monday, November 01, 1999 at 05:21:10 (PST)


I love the soup train
but I must admit
I was really disappionted this time
when I waited all this time
at the station
the soup train was right on schedule {sure enough}
but I miss the cowbell intro and the second cowbell solo
I was singing the soup train this morning as I brushed my teeth
after all that candy
and it just wasnt the same
Anonymous
- Monday, November 01, 1999 at 05:19:01 (PST)


alllhhh hell yeah

give me your soup
Anonymous
- Monday, November 01, 1999 at 00:32:22 (PST)


give me soup or give me dehydronated soup

take two
soup soup a day
helps me eat soup


soup soup soup
soup soup soup
soup baby

give me {take three}
soup or give me death

two roll em
roll with that

soup soup a day
helps the reciepe change


if you dont like soup I hope you choke on it

soupmania
- Monday, November 01, 1999 at 00:29:46 (PST)


"soup give me soup"

Hey baby
got any soup?

soup seizures supplements the soul
soul for animals
kill them die
die little vegtable
gulp
pot
doubles ass a pot to soup in
soup in
water
bone
wish for soup
wish for peaceful
claen
water pure
soup sure
give me your cracker
give me your cracker
if you dont love soup
you can go to the pantry
empty cans
- Monday, November 01, 1999 at 00:23:10 (PST)


"soup give me soup"

Hey baby
got any soup?

soup seizures supplements the soul
soul for animals
kill them die
die little vegtable
gulp
pot
doubles ass a pot to soup in
soup in
water
bone
wish for soup
wish for peaceful
claen
water pure
soup sure
give me your cracker
give me your cracker
if you dont love soup
you can go to the pantry
empty cans
- Monday, November 01, 1999 at 00:22:35 (PST)


I'm getting pissed
you have been brain washed not to like the soup train
and don't know what your missing
see the light

live or die
you gotta have some reason
the inspiration never stops on the soup train
it keeps on going
cause its got it all

if you love anything
ever again
its the soup
train

we want soup
all soup all the time
soup of soul
from all our life
Anonymous
- Monday, November 01, 1999 at 00:16:22 (PST)


wait ing for the train
waiting here
all day
waiting for the soup
i gotta soup brain
waiting
here til day
soup

Anonymous
- Monday, November 01, 1999

can I get an S....

?
Anonymous
- Sunday, October 31, 1999 at 17:16:09 (PST)


Agonizing pain
wishing you were here
I feel so empty
even with you near.

What have I done
to a friendship so true
I tried to make it wrong
but delete it's existence is what it came to.

I wish we could go back to yesterday
and tomorrow never came
I wish consequences were put on hold
and that every thing would have remained the same.

One last thing,
I wouldn't mind doing it again
but if this is how is going to end
sex shall remain our eternal way of staying friends.
fantasie
- Sunday, October 31, 1999 at 17:05:57 (PST)


today shall be the day
for everything to lurk about
whether meta or physical
the loopholes will let them out
roam they will, until I is found
where with their help, you will
hear me call, a soft sweet sound.
twenty minutes in total, what an
intense way to go to reap what I sew
after the stroke of the ninth last bell
I will be thinking of you while I cast my spell

g.m.m.d.t.
- Sunday, October 31, 1999 at 12:35:44 (PST)


somedays are like soup

theres a bottom to the bowl
and thats the bad news
Anonymous
- Sunday, October 31, 1999 at 11:29:02 (PST)


please
pass the soup

I would like another helping please
thank you very much
Anonymous
- Sunday, October 31, 1999 at 11:28:11 (PST)


I M Looking for soup
yeah its soup
soup
im looking for soup

you know what I need no mean?
Anonymous
- Saturday, October 30, 1999 at 16:08:45 (PDT)


Once again my vulnerabilty has gotten in the way
of my wants, needs, and desires.
My each and every breath
wants another peice of you.
The roughness of your face,
The softness of your touch,
The warmth of your embrace.
I wish I could be with you.
To love you.
The solidifide fear
of rejection, lack of truth, and
straight out pain
lurks within the depths of my memories.
The pain of love has gone past the hurt.
Whats the point?
Theres only a 4 billion way intersection
each road leading to a
wastland, empty and devoted
of what I need.
Lost.
Dead.
Tired.
Confused.
Abandoning the idea of anyone ever loving me again.
No body will spill forth the love I need for survival.
The chill of my hurt
climbs up my spine
making me wither and die,
crumble to the ground.
The winds of discouragement
scatter my remains.
The love I never had
stabs me with envy.
How do ones that cant give
see you in such good light?

¿Will I never understand?
Little J
- Saturday, October 30, 1999 at 13:12:50 (PDT)


ear wax

yellow
listen peroxide white
cant you hear it
Anonymous
- Friday, October 29, 1999 at 22:58:09 (PDT)


YOU KEEP US DOWN
WES GONNA LIVE HERE FREE
you try and keep us down

we gonna sell your vacuum cleaner
for a rock
we gonna sue you for letting us live here
Anonymous
- Friday, October 29, 1999 aand in the air it hung
that she was dull razors...



The Smashing Pumpkins
- Thursday, October 28, 1999 at 21:14:36 (PDT)


BARREN


dancing shadows womb,
why beautify the refuge?
your mother is a tomb,
her sorrow made you haunted.
once, she was the moon...
would dream of holding luna.
now, sings lullabyes of gloom...
to hush that she can't name you.
Lauren Rae
- Thursday, October 28, 1999 at 21:03:53 (PDT)


Poems pruned on the 28th day of 10-1999
 
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