Open Mic Poetry

Poetic Works
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"Bet you cant milk this" said big daddy,The leader of the lesbians standing there
her grey crew cut shining in the artifical light
she was the grand pooh bah of all the desiel dykes
her shoulder pad implants almost as big as her forearms

"what the fuck are you?" Johnny Hollywood wondered again
-------------
:::::
- Tuesday, February 03, 2004 at 11:02:52 (PST)


the raft made of accoustic guitars fell thru the ice and then got stuck there as the ice formed around it
until it was about to break and became weak
almost rusted like the frame of a bronco

and the dogs could'nt pull anymore
Johnny Hollywood knew they were not in the south
and if the C.T.L.M.U. followed his scent the hot red canine peppers might throw them off the path some

We can just walk off the ends of the earth over the ice
and leave this island for good.

Johnny Hollywood forgot if he really did marry Britney Spears or just a school teacher who looked like her
delisonal is not how you spell it said the thirsty spelling bee judge in a pissy tone as she shit herself
into a spastic frenzy seziure looking electric without no cords

the bong has no puppet strings
name the bong after the goddess
so to remember who he did marry this would be the way to remember that holy bond he said as he worked the love voodoo on to the hottest girl on the planet earth

Johnny Hollywood had all he could take
the driving on two wheels demonstration was taking longer than anyone had expected and Johnny Hollywood
cracked,he drove the car into the gas station as quick as he could and traded harpo marx, the down stairs maid and the rest of the car load of illegal immergrant cleaning crew stuffed into the maid mobile to the gas station attendant for a full tank of gas a car wash and a one litter of Dr. Pepper brand soda.
-------------
:::::::::::
- Tuesday, February 03, 2004 at 10:52:26 (PST)


"Shes just crazy enough for me"

Shes just crazy enough for me
with the nicest ass
I ever did get to see
Shes just everything enough to be
crazy enough
-------------
Anonymous
- Tuesday, February 03, 2004 at 10:17:49 (PST)


"if i could name a pizza after you"

If I could
you know I would if I could
if I could name a pizza after you
my heart would choose
if this could ever be true
if I could name a pizza after you
it would have nice breasts
-------------
Anonymous
- Tuesday, February 03, 2004 at 08:42:41 (PST)


AND OF TOMORROW

and tomorrow is the day
the day for which we pray
tomorrow is the way
to my heart
tomorrow is the day
the day for which we pray
the holiday we would never trade
St. Garbage Day!!!!!!!!
-------------
Anonymous
- Tuesday, February 03, 2004 at 08:39:28 (PST)


I saw your clouds today
-------------
Eve
- Tuesday, February 03, 2004 at 02:53:58 (PST)


Johnny Hollywood failed every polygrapgh test that The C.T.L.M.U. gave him and they now had him in a vice bigger than Isabelles ass

He confessed that he was the blame for his previous girl friends becoming fat in record time and that he believed in a cute one.
-------------
::::: : : : : : : : : : : : : :
- Monday, February 02, 2004 at 22:49:48 (PST)


"This is wrong Johnny Hollywood,never a brown girl on the hood of a volkswagon and a silver one at that
I think not the dark interior is fine
so inside always inside" Dr. Gail told Johnny Hollywood

The director tore up the script walked out and keyed Dr. Gails new Hummer in the well lighyted parking lot
as Johnny Hollywood pasted little pictures of Albert Hoffman to each window in all the Thomas Kincaid's in Dr. Gail's Office full of duct taped lawn furniture and
Green bay packers memorbili a.
-------------
::::
- Monday, February 02, 2004 at 22:28:45 (PST)


I can't believe you are going to quit smoking after we just opened this smoke shop
And to think you would stop drinking alcohol when I decide to take a job at the local beer and liquor stores.
Now you are going to turn away from eating now that I have bought all these groceries. I always knew I should of never married y ou!

-------------
Anonymous
- Monday, February 02, 2004 at 22:01:24 (PST)


before you say "don't blame me cause this is just the way god made me" please stop and think whether or not you are just settling because you are lazy or you really have tried to reach your individual potential and you are really as far as you can go ?
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Anonymous
- Monday, February 02, 2004 at 21:38:11 (PST)


that's it ... i've got it finally
the attraction is that all three
of us are intellectuals and the
only difference between you, him
and me is that I am not as advanced
as you two so that is why you him and I
are still connected in order to bring me
to the level or dimenion(s) you are operating
from....look at val thor....look at us....we too
are ruled by venus....I saw them you know even
though they were fast in their move from one level
to the other and so now I know I belong with you and
him too forever more together with our crack sores...
-------------
Anonymous
- Monday, February 02, 2004 at 21:02:57 (PST)


The Tina Crack Sore Tattoos on the cattle were nearly finished when we first noticed that
the holy Tina crack sore sunday came on a tuesday this week and the bulldyke massages are free at the sweat hog ladies night turn you out dance

"but nothing over yonder could ever be near a sweet as my lovely Tina Crack Sores" Said Johnny Hollywood as he finished putting another episode into the commode

I love you swished the rust colored water

Johnny Hollywood built a raft out of the accoustic guitars and tried to leave honeycups on the island

but theres was but one way out
and Johnny Hollywood had heard of destiny before
but did he believe? no
not until the dice were tossed could he see with his own eyes
there was one ho for him

and his heart said one
Tina Crack Sores was to be
his destiny whether or not he choose this and there was no way to hide from this no matter how hard Johnny hollywood tried
the Cards read T-N-T
and Johnny Hollywood couldnt ask the C.T.L.M.U. for help
because they had thier biggest meanest hencemen out looking for him to execute him

Critic Critic chanted the crowd
and the judges from yesterdays spelling bee was still mad at him but still swallowed his dog "Fido's" load for breakfast like a nasty ass bitch would.

Boiling water could not
fix it this time

-------------
::::::
- Monday, February 02, 2004 at 16:20:53 (PST)


Thanks, I think I will

I suggest you do the same
-------------
Anonymous
- Sunday, February 01, 2004 at 21:29:40 (PST)


The Baroness Electric Tina Crack Sores
needed milking and Johnny Hollywood just signed a contract to partake in the milking of the lucous crack sore o rama from now until the planet burned out to a piece of burnt toast or dust which ever comes first
and the Countess of Crack Sores was suddenly sewage

"Johnny Hollywoods had him the best crack sore happy crack whore money or cocaine could buy and even had other super douper crack whores on the waiting list to spread those funky crack sores onto the rest of the population" Said the monkey that was going back to the service

"and they should give a full refund" said the biggest bulldyke wearing the shirt that said "Naget is a "Z" "

Leaking piss bag water melon vodka mistake became famous at the lunch truck brunch they called "you all got any more that chicken"

The lord of the donuts,carl marx and carly simon from aerosmith and the rolling stones walk into a bar and theres a parriott there
and even though there was no reasoning
he was still wrong

"you have failed the test"
said the doctor of wedding miscarriages
-------------
:::
- Sunday, February 01, 2004 at 20:03:39 (PST)


GO FUCK YOURSELF
YOU HAVE NO IDEAL
-------------
Anonymous
- Sunday, February 01, 2004 at 19:39:20 (PST)


Anyone who does not know how to spell the word "resonates", or any other word, for that matter, does not even deserve this place....
Learn how to spell!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Do not even try to pin it on "poetic license" or any of that other approximate rhyme bullshit
Or the drug you are presently taking, or what have you

Intolerable ignorance
Illiteracy is a crime
-------------
Anonymous
- Sunday, February 01, 2004 at 19:17:40 (PST)


Her vision will not fade
in my memory
She alone rests in my heart
her beauty unmatched
her voice resinates my soul
my mind empty of happiness
apart from this dream
The distant future to far
to long a wait

-------------
:
- Sunday, February 01, 2004 at 11:29:24 (PST)


Just another private in the Army of the cross threaded lesbian mafia union drove the delivery vehicle up onto the curb and the sumi wrestler sized bull dykes jumped out and tossed Johnny Hollywood into the dodge on his face next to a monkey who was shooting up in between its toes on its left foot
Johnny F.N. Hollywood protested bieng kidnapped with an aids ridden monkey
and the cross threaded mafia of lesbians told Johnny Hollyood that the monkey was Micheal Jackson
and they were to recive millions for that hostage because he was so much more important than Johnny Hollywood
Johnny Hollywood had to ride in coach

but Johnny Hollywood knew this was not true because first off the monkey had no mary tyler moore doo going on and secondly the monkey was not malesting any children so it was plain to see that this monkey
had problems but still was not Micheal Jackson
just then the ban of fun rolled past a nice lady with three asses and the monkey fell in love
and Johnny Hollywood also took a liking to her huge assness thinking this was perfect for the new C.D. cover, a lady with three great big asses right on the cover.There was nothing better Johnny Hollywood thought.

The poetry police mounted the cameras in every part of the studio to catch the milking of the crack whore scene from every angle Johnny Hollywood believed
and that is why he wanted to call the new C.D. "Half past the milking of the crack whore" but no one else in the band wanted the back cover to have the reciepes for the Tina Crack Sore Snicker Salad or the Secret Tina Crack Sore Dough Reciepe on them.
They wanted song information credits and bullshit like that on the back side of the new C.D. so the entire band was in turmo il.
-------------
:::::
- Friday, January 30, 2004 at 15:29:41 (PST)


The winter was long and cold and bertha cooked up most of the circus animals for the rest of 'em to eat
while the war was getting worse the times were getting a little easier and everyone thought Bertha did the right thing when she nuked the 7-11 where she never buys her valentines
the alleged bombings have taken place in the begining of the week for us for them for national security
"It was Johnny Hollywood who caulked up Bertha Maes ass so she would not fall off the tractor seat
and she owed him for that act of kindness alone he thought as he unloaded most of her handguns and rinsed out her douche buckets into the fish tank and then later make to new reciepe for tuna mac out of the distilled shitwater" the barefoot pizza maker said to the slut monkey thief.
-------------
::
- Friday, January 30, 2004 at 08:14:31 (PST)


Johnny Hollywood spent most of his big rock star monies on pure cocaine so he could do lines on his favorite sluts asses so after partying a lot the cocaine made him go bald and in addition he soon found he needed another job and signed a contract with a local hillbilly pizza place not understanding it meant he would have to get laid a lot I mean deliever the pizzas instead of the pizza place using his rock star name as the sign out front did say "Johnny Hollywood"
but he was there right next to the others handing out free food to the police and even got to see the cute ones snatch-a-sore-ass on a good day
the only thing he regretted was showing up on the day of the deermeat pizza exercise.
He finally cracked
and it all went to hell.

Right before he bought the AK-47's out of the newspaper for four hundred each
and right after bieng barred from Dr. Gails office and the restraining orders were issued Johnny Hollywood had to make appointments with Dr. Gail's recieptionist under the assummed names of Johnny Halleywood
and Johnny Hallywood then wore the groucho shades and nose and a nice Bob Dylan hat for a disguise to the very expensive appointments.
Then he had to make up new stories of his life so she would'nt notice it was him.

"You should have never traded Bertha's prize winning cow for the magic jumping beans because you can not milk these beans and you don't wanna use goat box droppings in ya alls morning coffee"
Harpo Marx said into the three cameras on her left shoe.

"After a big night of hoe'n on the stroll
You can't expect the down stairs maid to put these here back seats to the Chevy's you done made sweet love to Tina on
into them plastic bags and staple the correct piece of paper to the correct bag,even if you done put yer dates and times you had the hottest of the hot on the specific uphostered Tina sore memorbillal interior part" Dr. Gail scolded him,
Then drifted into her usual "You can not petition the lord with prayer routine slash tribute to Jim Morrison
following up with the obligatory flipping over the dining room table scene that would have made both your dad and Jim Morrison proud.

Dr. Gail then decieded that Johnny Halleywood needed anger managment classes at a hundred bucks a piece every week for a year 'ceptin' fer hollydays and then Johnny told her caseworkerness that he was jewish since he thought they might have more days of celebration the he confessed to her that his religion was that he worshiped the most beautiful female in existance.
and every day was a hoilday as long as he thought dreamed and remembered her.
and thats all he could do.
-------------
::::::::::::
- Friday, January 30, 2004 at 08:02:56 (PST)


Heres something that should make sense to you
"suck my nuts"
-------------
Anonymous
- Friday, January 30, 2004 at 02:00:32 (PST)


does this make sense?

your thoughts are of no concern to me
as I am not interested in you at all
so why you gotta convince me even
after I've told you that I don't
want you now or ever
-------------
Anonymous
- Thursday, January 29, 2004 at 18:37:56 (PST)


I am convinced now more than ever
that you are what I need in life
now the only problem with this is
that I will now have the privledge
of trying to prove this to you
-------------
Anonymous
- Thursday, January 29, 2004 at 17:56:34 (PST)


I wanna be like you
cause you are goofy
and never have I been
so I wonder what its like
just to be like you
but not for very long
cause you are always
under attack behind
your back everyone
talks about your goofiness
like you was dumb or som ethin
-------------
Anonymous
- Thursday, January 29, 2004 at 17:51:53 (PST)


yeah I feel abit better but in the end if I continue
to think about you I still feel sick and no matter then what I write about you I can never shake this thing I have for you which is no good for either of
us because we are too strong for each other and we have both clearly known that from day 1 ... but now look at us at day 3,862 and when 3 is added to 8 and 11 is added to 6 and 17 is added to 2, the answer is 19 and so when 1 is added to 9, the answer is 10 and when 1 is added to 0, the answer is 1 which is like day 1 ... you know the day we met
-------------
Anonymous
- Thursday, January 29, 2004 at 17:48:30 (PST)


what the fuck are you blabbing on about
no nonsense literally means not tolerating
no sense and so far what you have said owns
no sense therefore I have no choice but to
pay no attention to this nonsense or rambling
that you do every freakin time you come here
if you want mean freakin right I will give you
mean as I am the queen and king of mean especially
when it comes to someone blabbing about nonsense
I must tell you that when it comes to nonsense I
lack compassion and therefore do not attempt to
understand what the hell you are saying or why
the hell you are saying it because as I have
already stated I cannot and do not care about
nonsense for the simple reason that it does not
make sense!
-------------
Anonymous
- Thursday, January 29, 2004 at 17:34:33 (PST)


Bertha Mae seemed was a little to happy to be the one choosen to check everyone for weapons upon entry to the old gas powered motor car.

Harpo Marx the world reknown award winning landscaper/bait and switch mail order bride
told the newspaper reporter
that Johnny Hollywoods ad on the cable
for the "No ass stripper,super model
To preform the duties of putting the flag up on the mail box and scrubing the toilet ever now and then".
"Was a waste of time"
-------------
::::
- Thursday, January 29, 2004 at 14:42:43 (PST)


this family is a retarded bunch of s hit
-------------
Anonymous
- Thursday, January 29, 2004 at 14:27:02 (PST)


The announcer went on and on.....

"Single-handedly bringing her entire country to our country to work and boy do they work."
"Ms.Harpo Marx!"

The croud erupted again and everybody's favorite mail order bride "Harpo Marx's
stunt double Ms. Harpo Marx III,stood up and recieved her medal crying to much to say anything and the lights went off and we all watched a forty-five minute film on land scaping.

Thier was no britney displays or cocaine and security was light
The snow was heavy
-------------
::::::: :::::::
- Thursday, January 29, 2004 at 14:20:30 (PST)


happy bertha day
to ya all's
-------------
Anonymous
- Wednesday, January 28, 2004 at 21:03:41 (PST)


there is no straight way to god
there is no one way to god
as everyone who arrives at god
arrives at different times and dates
my time was 1993 and it was in june
on the 26th at around 3 p.m. of course
that I arrived at god through the paved
winedee road that always kept calling for me
even on this day it called my name everytime
the wind ripped by but then it stopped after
I got straight with god by taking it up with
my dog the one I met before I had my dog and
so I guess you could say that I met god, my
dog, and a person I love way before I actually
met them again after I became straight with them
by unconsiously getting off the paved s like road
-------------
Anonymous
- Wednesday, January 28, 2004 at 20:07:17 (PST)


aren't memories just the best
cause when you have a memory
you know it cause you are able
to recall it into the internal
movie camera that sits inside
your head for the soul purpose
of playing to you the memories
tucked deep in your mind's bed


Sabotage what you will
but me you can't have
Play as much game as you want
but have me you will not
make all the excuses you need
but you won't get me
Do whatever you must do
but still I am not yours
create the noise you require
but never again will I trust you


-------------
Anonymous
- Wednesday, January 28, 2004 at 19:55:53 (PST)


Let me get this straight
You're leaving me for God?

No, I suppose I can't compete with the omnipresent

Just when I thought I had heard it all
suprise suprise


-------------
Pretynd
- Tuesday, January 27, 2004 at 13:38:57 (PST)


faded print upon
a mirror
older than any friendship
hanging on by a promise
from a jagged peice of heart
sticking to an elusive hope
the reflective surface of a soul
Lips that sealed a slippery fate
five years now
it has sustained
eroding like the last
memory of innocence

Jesus Ate Baby, You Know He Did



-------------
Pretynd
- Tuesday, January 27, 2004 at 13:31:57 (PST)


both morning cofee and lullabye

you're my obvious and desperate answer
kiss me
I invite you to my civilization
of kaleidoscopes
our talks open up chambers
the vaults of treasure

you took your generosity for a jog
you could'nt wait
you had to practice

and I am grateful
if at least
I am here to witness
you
becoming this lovely, lovely person
anyone would die to be with

I assure you
I am

and the pleasure is all mine



-------------
Eve
- Tuesday, January 27, 2004 at 01:27:21 (PST)


what a sorry wake , and even sorrier sleep
the embarassment has followed me and crept behind my back
ive followed each time with a step ahead and wound up past my misfortune
greiving with a gay dark smile my happiness chooses desires
swept under a wing that has casted me dull
the warm touch of forgiveness rubs out the cold
delay the closure and ride out the shame
soon her senses will broaden her gaze
respect in tests
and lament in retrospect
it all will ad to the rest of ditest
-------------
samson
- Sunday, January 25, 2004 at 19:45:09 (PST)


so sorry jess-ie, we dont miss you none
-------------
Anonymous
- Sunday, January 25, 2004 at 17:45:44 (PST)


Eye wanted to say hello to my old friends who eye miss and still love very very much.... so hi to jayme and melissa and eye hope you all are doing great...just wanted to let you all know eye havent forgot you and eye love you both very much!!! LOVE ALWAYS
-------------
Little Jessyca
- Sunday, January 25, 2004 at 09:20:32 (PST)


"M & M dressed up like his mom and tried to get car jacked on 7 bertha road" Harpo the award winning landscaper/bait and switch mail order bride told the chiropratic bartender as she packed her suitcase for the long stay she would have living at the moon station.
-------------
"""":::
- Sunday, January 25, 2004 at 00:54:05 (PST)


graves of puke labotomy dance


-------------
Anonymous
- Sunday, January 25, 2004 at 00:43:13 (PST)


oh year were gonna be gone
we already are
-------------
Anonymous
- Saturday, January 24, 2004 at 16:42:53 (PST)


Dear Santa Clause,
I guess I shoulda specified that
the Katy on my list that I was asking for was the one with the long red hair you know the anerexic stripper with pizza capibil ities.
-------------
Anonymous
- Saturday, January 24, 2004 at 16:35:47 (PST)


Bambi stood in the head lights and did'nt move
Johnny Hollywood looked over at her and she snapped out of it and shook her head and pushed her cart around the corner of the pasta asile moving on,

Johnny Hollywood now knew Bambi was in fact his soul mate and wanted to woo her while watching "Twister".
-------------
:::
- Saturday, January 24, 2004 at 16:31:22 (PST)


The brigadeer general in the ranks of the cross threaded lesbian mafia union talked to Johnny Hollywood explaining that she was not the one that
everyone was looking for

for she was not a she male and had no navigational system and she insured Johnny Hollywood that her puppies were real

and it was someone else who robbed the tard blossom
on the night of her horniess.

Johnny Hollywood believed her at first and then began to wonder about the entire bunch.
-------------
:::
- Saturday, January 24, 2004 at 16:27:41 (PST)


my world is split
one versus eight
someone I love
and poeple I hate.
they're probably both on the same team,
spending the days laughing at me.
I can't show you how much I care,
you'd call me a loser, and pathetic.
I know you how you could dare.
you don't give a fuck.
I hope I don't become a step in a disgraceful path you're starting to choose.
I wanted more than anything to help you,
we had something beautiful,
and I believe that,
but I couldn't believe in myself.
so now it is nothing and was never anything.
allright dude,
I'll get off my ass if you get off your back.

-------------
rwe
- Saturday, January 24, 2004 at 16:15:21 (PST)


could I detect from a simple show
you love me that much to have a son
would you reveal yourself to me
through what my eyes, hears, and mind
are taking in at this very moment
there must be something you can do
to make me aware that you love me too
and that you want me to come around

-------------
Anonymous
- Saturday, January 24, 2004 at 14:34:12 (PST)


I'm already music at this point
tee many
and I'm sliding all over you in my satin jeans

the tableau of desperation
pinprick of frustration
you're not looking

I'd like to see how well my bed sheets look on you

a Slut-o-rama invite




how can I be of service?

-------------
Eve
- Friday, January 23, 2004 at 19:48:15 (PST)


me too.
-------------
Anonymous
- Friday, January 23, 2004 at 18:48:45 (PST)


if you want change then you had better be prepared to help me in what you think needs changing and don't for one minute think that I am going to do this all alone
because there is no humanly way possible that I can do this alone for this change is too big for one human to deal with on behalf of a large population of people who want to be humans.

I may repeat myself so that I can realize how much I make sense with every word that rolls down my tongue and out of my mouth and onto the paper I can arrange these words in such a way that no matter what I am trying to convey I can always change the subject so that it sounds like I am always talking about the same thing when in fact I have been discussing inside this passage many many different things besides change.


-------------
Anonymous
- Friday, January 23, 2004 at 09:21:15 (PST)


why ask something you already know
what is the purpose of this show
you should tell me now or I will not go
I have had enough of your tiny blows
and your fornightly hoes
the madness you have about the world
I am sick and tired of everything
-------------
Anonymous
- Friday, January 23, 2004 at 09:11:40 (PST)


today is indeed christian day
so righteous I have become
while awaiting for his arrival
wondering what he will look like
and if he will have Jesus's ears

-------------
Anonymous
- Friday, January 23, 2004 at 08:59:20 (PST)


humans are beautiful
but people are sick
most will is weak
that is why we seek
it could be different
if constraint is maintained
but what do they know
as people walking around lonely
not really giving a shit
-------------
Anonymous
- Friday, January 23, 2004 at 08:55:25 (PST)


when in doubt
do not pout
go into zen
and see who's who
by what they bought
take a pin
and prick them free
then grab their hand
before they turn fake
through getting sick

-------------
Anonymous
- Friday, January 23, 2004 at 08:44:24 (PST)


Im so hot for her but she's so
-------------
Anonymous
- Friday, January 23, 2004 at 08:38:53 (PST)


cold
-------------
Anonymous
- Friday, January 23, 2004 at 02:34:39 (PST)


I got it, but you went on...
all this time I knew you weren't my friend.
But thanks for paying me the attention
we both can only hope it won't happen again.
Just as you are a glutton for aprroval,
you agree with and assist the efforts for my removal.
fuck you
your asshole smells,
fucking bitch,
go to hell.

-------------
angry at the fakers
- Friday, January 23, 2004 at 00:17:04 (PST)


.
-------------
.
- Thursday, January 22, 2004 at 20:12:11 (PST)


I drag you down to me
to clean this wound
to suffer my need
I press your tentative fingers inside
A tainted mind
A request to bleed

-------------
Pretynd
- Wednesday, January 21, 2004 at 20:52:26 (PST)


"bertha tats aLL around"

trench graves
infected carcasses
contaminated water supplies
Greaseburger pasterized
oil
Jesus christ pose
spilling lies
conversation
parody hype
empty
breath
cruel
wind
sabatoged
auctioned greed
reversed role treason
-------------
::
- Wednesday, January 21, 2004 at 20:00:42 (PST)


She's complicated
amazingly simple mind
she's complicated
amazingly simple mind
she lead me to believe
there's something to believe in this time
I can't complain
it's what I must deserve
I won't explain
if this is all its worth
shes complicated
amazingly simple mind
shes complicated
amazingly simple mind
-------------
.
- Wednesday, January 21, 2004 at 19:45:56 (PST)


it's already music
-------------
I was there before
- Wednesday, January 21, 2004 at 17:53:53 (PST)


as i stare out of my box
my security
i feel small
unimportant
-------------
Anonymous
- Wednesday, January 21, 2004 at 15:34:55 (PST)


lets me and you run forever
together

into the sun
the clean blue skies

your love
c c c c
-------------
Anonymous
- Tuesday, January 20, 2004 at 09:55:48 (PST)


will I ever stop crying?
-------------
Anonymous
- Tuesday, January 20, 2004 at 07:27:24 (PST)


Crap, naget again....

any hints on how to get my finger out of my arse?
any hints on how to get my arse off my finger?
any hints on how to stop me from sticking candles up my arse?
any hints on how to get my mind off my arse? or my finger?

Crap, naget again....
-------------
Z
- Tuesday, January 20, 2004 at 05:53:28 (PST)


the scent of your liquid bathroom soap is still on my hands
and it's me here, being disgenerous again
I have to trap what I have to trap
and get on with it
play pretend for another couple hours

I don't really feel what I feel
There can be no liberation
because there is no resolve
no release in knowing your reciprocation
because it's not there

and what I can't get over
and what it means to me
my toast just doesn't butter that way
doesn't seep or suck itself in
it's not right
it's not true
and tell me this is not happening

again

it would be a mutherfucking lie to tell me
right here, right now
that not an inch of your spirit
pulls itself to me

I could write books
on how knowing you makes me feel

what is this
???? ????
WHY

-------------
Eve
- Monday, January 19, 2004 at 18:53:06 (PST)


"Several of the Rodeo Dykes were like butter"
Said the french fry machine operator
as he filled a grocery bag full of heavily salted french fries for the now very hungry case workers.

"The welfare of these here fries is esquisted"
Said Johnny Hollywoods larger caseworker to his slightly less larger caseworker who was carring a partridge family lunch box under her arm where no one could see it.

-------------
:::
- Monday, January 19, 2004 at 15:39:25 (PST)


Johnny Hollywood could see the smoke signals in the distance warning the natives that he was on his way and telling them of his new chiopratic maunuver he preforms from inside your body.
still he stayed on coarse
-------------
:::
- Monday, January 19, 2004 at 04:06:39 (PST)


As the speaker phone rang the same ring for what seemed like forever it began to seem like the C.T.L.M.U. was not going to come and save us this time.

Harpo Marx the award winning world reknown landscaper/bait and switch mail order bride stood up and said "Hi my name is Harpo and I am a landscape-aholic"

Pulling a jalepino out from behind her left ear
She then followed with her side of what happened

"The television made a loud warning alarm sound
and was followed by the annoucer telling the sightings and possibile warnings if in case there was another
Tina sore disaster on the horizion for our area"
-------------
:::
- Monday, January 19, 2004 at 03:41:19 (PST)



JOHNNY HOLLYWOOD once again got on his horse wearing the suit of armour and set out to save Tina from the dreadful Tina sores she might catch during the season of Ho-bagism.

If she needed a train he
would you could you
be her train
and if he needed a holiday she could easily be one in the rain
he sang the song
"Tina crack sores and I don't care"
as he rode into the distance to begin the Tina soreless search
Johnny Hollywood always wondered why she would sell her sores for rock and roll
is this yet another story of the Johnny rotten?
that all started with her sores on the open market for the legendary juice money

and is it true she made a deal with the devil
and traded him her sores:?

I will see the bang a gong video for further instruction said pimpin' Roxy wearing a nice feather in her hat .
-------------
:
- Monday, January 19, 2004 at 03:26:07 (PST)


into sound
-------------
Anonymous
- Sunday, January 18, 2004 at 18:54:49 (PST)


tINA CRACK SORE MONDAY
wish it was tina crack sore sunday
thats my fun day
Just another tina crack monday
-------------
Anonymous
- Sunday, January 18, 2004 at 04:48:27 (PST)


“today is the only day”

Here it is again,
I need you…
and now have a better grip on what ‘you’ are.
You say this isn’t real, but
believe and know that you
mean as much to me,
as I mean to you.
And soon,
we will,
WE WILL be gone…

In time, this will all be over.

today is the greatest day of my life,
nothing ever means more
than today.

-------------
R.W Etching
- Sunday, January 18, 2004 at 01:51:09 (PST)


I once named my hamster "kipski"
damn thang died of the mange


-------------
Anonymous
- Friday, January 16, 2004 at 23:05:51 (PST)


The code name cross threaded lesbian mafia union bugle call went off and the most impressive bull dyke with out body odor (I kid you not)
became the rodeo attraction to the passing cattle.

Where is thou non magical bertha with the hugmoungas ass?
Where is thou hugmoungous ass now?

My corn fed sunshine
my love for canned goods.
-------------
:::::: : : : : : : : ::
- Friday, January 16, 2004 at 23:04:04 (PST)


I's like grits and butter
I's like watermelon seeds
I believe
in
everyone having thier own toiletries

-------------
76 year old black man
- Friday, January 16, 2004 at 22:36:22 (PST)


I dont really know how to respond
to your poem it is so sweet
and i think you so very very much
-------------
leeah t.
- Friday, January 16, 2004 at 14:26:48 (PST)


this is for my sister Kim i love you
-------------
13 year old gurl
- Friday, January 16, 2004 at 13:34:32 (PST)


this is for my sister Kim i love you
-------------
13 year old gurl
- Friday, January 16, 2004 at 13:34:30 (PST)


this is for my sister Kim i love you
-------------
13 year old gurl
- Friday, January 16, 2004 at 13:34:29 (PST)


January


I love only one
surprisingly enough

because no other could be her
in reality dreams



-------------
:::: ::: ::: ::: ::: ::: ::: ::: ::: :::
- Friday, January 16, 2004 at 11:21:20 (PST)


the universe is calling
because a string just
dropped down and I am
going to climb up its
just a matter of time
before noone can find
me not even if they try
cause I will be so high
above the sky looking
at them like the lion
looked at them in Ghost
in the darkness
-------------
Anonymous
- Friday, January 16, 2004 at 08:08:35 (PST)


science is creepy
but I like it just
the same cause
eventually through
deeper exploration
something of real
significance will
be found but by then
earth will not house
humans as humans will
live elsewhere in space
because science was so
creepy that it and economics
tore apart our ozone layer
-------------
Anonymous
- Friday, January 16, 2004 at 07:59:53 (PST)


You are giving me less
while I am paying you more
how exactly does this work
and why do I not have a say?
-------------
Anonymous
- Friday, January 16, 2004 at 07:56:38 (PST)


just live for the day and the night
the next will always be in line so
long as you are here and alive you
will always know this because your
brain will have survived
-------------
Anonymous
- Friday, January 16, 2004 at 07:53:31 (PST)


my proaction
versus your reaction
is very different from
each other in case you
didn't know

surfing on the snow
as opposed to running
on the beach I will do
both and not give in

I am not living in sin
and I have found my way
and now you want to take
it apart and throw it away

you are alittle slow on the uptake
but flowed beautifully down stream
I know you know nothing is what it
seems even though these stairs in dreams

-------------
Anonymous
- Friday, January 16, 2004 at 07:49:55 (PST)


Beautiful, no that doesnt describe you
Lovely and gorgeous, it isn't enough
Blue eyes that are sympathetic
understanding beyond your years
Flaxen hair of a gentle goddess
I just dont have the words to describe
how blessed I am to have you
as my friend, as my family
I remember when you were born,
and I held your little red prune like body
those eyes already told me you loved me
and you have loved me ever since
through my mistakes
through my confusion
I see you becoming a sophisticated young woman
so real, so intelligent, so centered, so true
the pride and love swell in my heart
and nearly explode
When you need me I am here
Beyond the Always
Beyond Forever
-------------
Pretynd
- Thursday, January 15, 2004 at 13:36:58 (PST)


You are so beautiful,
I have allways liked you but was allways afaraid to tell you....well i still am.
Afaraid of rejection and ridicule.
I yern to tell you how i feel.
But you are taken by an ugly whore with to much eyeliner!

-------------
13 yr old gurl
- Wednesday, January 14, 2004 at 16:55:36 (PST)


HI
HI HI
HI
HI HI
HI
HI HI
HI
HI HI
Jayme
-------------
Leeah T.
- Wednesday, January 14, 2004 at 15:40:06 (PST)


I feel your pain
There is no gain
Im not insain
Im just so plain
I hate this game
Its whats insane
Its not plain and it feels
no pain
I want to be this game
I want to feel no pain
I dont want to be so
plain
I want to be insan e
-------------
Leeah T.
- Wednesday, January 14, 2004 at 15:15:22 (PST)


As I set here in an endless trance of confusion and despair I feel helpless.A wondering soul trapped in my own thoughts.
-------------
Leeah T.
- Wednesday, January 14, 2004 at 14:47:42 (PST)


and God said..."Let there be light"
and Bertha rolled over, and the sun came out
and it was very good...
(until we all died at the odor that emminated from te crevasse on the other side of her, but whatcha gonna d o?)
-------------
Anonymous
- Wednesday, January 14, 2004 at 06:50:43 (PST)


"Tina Sore Love"

You can put your Tina sore on me
its only your Tina sore that can make me believe
sometimes this Tina sores better than weed ,I believe
You can put your Tina sore
I just told you
put it on me twiced in case theres a war
you can put your warm Tina sore
You can put your warm Tina sore
You can put your warm Tina sore
on me in the fl oor
-------------
:::
- Tuesday, January 13, 2004 at 22:13:43 (PST)


"The Sour Semi-Soaring Thirteenth Super Douper Tina Sore Boogie"

Tina sores or no Tina sores
I love you Tina even more
thats for shure
I can't ignore
my heart beats for you like never before
Tina sores or no Tina sores

Tina sores or no Tina sores
you know I meant it when I
suddenly got detoured
you tina are the answer I've been looking For
Tina sores or no Tina Sores


-------------
::
- Tuesday, January 13, 2004 at 22:09:06 (PST)


the bertha curse

And God Spoke
from the heavans
"bertha" must be used in each and every password


-------------
Anonymous
- Tuesday, January 13, 2004 at 21:58:44 (PST)


here hold this again
-------------
Anonymous
- Tuesday, January 13, 2004 at 21:52:06 (PST)


"fat Women"

Fat women know how to cook i think
when theres crumbs as big as sandwiches
inbetween each roll of fat that might and could
swallow the planet

-------------
Anonymous
- Tuesday, January 13, 2004 at 21:51:32 (PST)


"it don't matter what the mother fuck you know
you'll never own me

and its good you only play the mind game on paper here cause if you was real and fucking with me like this
i would have killed your ass a long time ago"




-------------
Anonymous
- Tuesday, January 13, 2004 at 21:48:23 (PST)


For all your small appliance needs
check out chefsmeow.com
you'll be glad you did once your
makin' ice cream and esspresso
with the best chefs world wide
at a fraction of the cost!!!!
-------------
Anonymous
- Tuesday, January 13, 2004 at 15:23:21 (PST)


You don't know what I know and you never have known anything about me but I know all about you and its
not pretty for you know that I know what you have
always known about you and thought that noone ever
knew what I know and have always known about you and
the fact you sold your wedding ring for crack!
-------------
Anonymous
- Monday, January 12, 2004 at 19:15:32 (PST)


god this is so much fun
I am glad I understand
for now I can love it
like I care for it and
need it to grow and so
now I plant my love
inside its heart only to
waiting for it to flow
-------------
Anonymous
- Monday, January 12, 2004 at 19:13:10 (PST)


Soon I must go
far away to a place
where sometimes I
swear I see your face
and together we will
sit or I'll follow you
but hardly you behind me
and that is alright cause
I like watching your back
-------------
Anonymous
- Monday, January 12, 2004 at 19:10:25 (PST)


I am tired
but yet I go on
despite all the
noises you make
I am still strong
wanna go strollin
threw the ol hood
or are you done
for good like I
know I should
forget the midnight
dip and dunk in the
neighbour's pool or
the plane going by
that caught our eye
and made us wonder
why not us could it
be that you I and him
are just too damn ex
plosive to be around
each other no matter
what we have all said
-------------
Anonymous
- Monday, January 12, 2004 at 19:07:23 (PST)


you know he don't want you
You know I do
-------------
Anonymous
- Sunday, January 11, 2004 at 20:53:17 (PST)


the filming of the production stopping
took more time than everyone expected
after what seemed like a lifetime in the waiting room
Johnny Hollywood fell for the actress
drama queen
and no one else
-------------
::
- Sunday, January 11, 2004 at 20:24:39 (PST)


Here hold this......
-------------
Anonymous
- Sunday, January 11, 2004 at 19:38:00 (PST)


oh, god
what does this hold for me
-------------
Anonymous
- Sunday, January 11, 2004 at 15:58:40 (PST)


"Travis' Mistake"

Ink
whoops
-------------
:
- Sunday, January 11, 2004 at 15:33:02 (PST)


The correct answers

What kind of car would you be?
You would be a Corvette or a Porsche something smooth and sleek.

What kind of animal would you be?
Undetermined

What kind of guitar would you be?
An S.G.

-------------
Anonymous
- Sunday, January 11, 2004 at 01:17:45 (PST)


answers


1. Helping mean bulldykes across the street
2. Target practice with the survailance cameras
3. Working like four Mesikins
4. Working like Three Mesikins
5. Check that ass
-------------
:::
- Sunday, January 11, 2004 at 01:12:26 (PST)


u got all the answers wrong marry me anyway
-------------
Anonymous
- Saturday, January 10, 2004 at 15:14:30 (PST)


Your vision without love
wasted feelings distilled into tones
thought passes thru my mind

my heart aborts
warm tear soaked dreams
of your beauty
art
empty
open my hand
into my fingers
partial chords suspended
sound never replacing your shadow
the pulling of the trigger
the pulling of the barbed wire puppet strings
in a world where nothing could ever be enough
my song is yo u
-------------
:::: :
- Saturday, January 10, 2004 at 09:58:03 (PST)


Fart in my ear,
I wanna hear ur bre ath.


-------------
Z
- Saturday, January 10, 2004 at 08:07:15 (PST)


I know I'll never be the one




still
it's nice to dream

"It's fun to lose and to pretend"
~ Nirv ana
-------------
Anonymous
- Friday, January 09, 2004 at 02:27:07 (PST)


You don't save me
with your smile
tainted and tinted
from the charm
seeping from that
semi-suburban christian upbringing
You don't save me
with your arms
curling and cradeling
holding me down
in the waters of your
well meaning altruistic concern
You don't save me
with your eyes
peircing and probing
an attempt to disarm
the walls of my
self-constructed armour of demise
You don't save me
No
You don't save me at all

``````````````````````````````
"Give me one more medicated peaceful moment"
~ A Perfect Circl e

-------------
Pretynd
- Thursday, January 08, 2004 at 23:12:34 (PST)


your back is all whipped up
from the thrust of my tongue
and all I did was speak to you
but it was harsh I must admit
but when you grabbed my head
and forced me onto your tit
is when I woke up to you
trying to force my tit onto your
face for you to lick and then I
screamed only to have you disappear
right outta my bed and into thin air
but I could still hear you once in awhile
screaming back at me like a little child
oh I know you are voodoo but no I didn't
go as far as Haiti but they did come to me
and now winter has set in making the freezer
way to cold so now I cannot put you away because
all you will end up doing is freezing inside the ziplock bag! I want ;you enough to want to change and so I have but what I must keep in mind is that you might not fit into my plans nor I to yours now that things between us are not the same as they were when we were enjoying our ripe ages and honestly I know they were priceless times for us inspite of the fact that I was always too drunk to remember and for that I am deeply Sorry!
-------------
Anonymous
- Thursday, January 08, 2004 at 18:54:04 (PST)


the need to know your other favourite spots
has been my only concern over the past years
even though you say ez it hasn't been easy
to watch you be separate from me and from our
attraction both of us felt even across the street
our hearts did beat in sync and even you know that
but its time you were made aware of my prescious cat
and the fact that it does not suffer with lumps and bumps
and furthermore it is the only thing I own which is remotely anything like a real pussy with whiskers and fur which comes with a gizillion different grains of sand that are contained in a square container waiting to be golden showered and then shit on....oh no my cat is prescious and only allows certain others to play with it by climbing inside the mouth of my cat's lips
-------------
Anonymous
- Thursday, January 08, 2004 at 18:41:43 (PST)


I am in the mood to write
and that is tonight
that you I will bite
in my time of word might
I will understand if you
leave my sight in order to
flight yourself away from me
because you know I will be right
even though I am only 4 ft in height
my self is all tight cause I see the light
and I before you am understanding white
-------------
Anonymous
- Thursday, January 08, 2004 at 16:35:50 (PST)


my dog barks
who really cares
the moon is bright
but it doesn't stop
the fight down below
everything is alive
and tricks will be played
but the conclusion reached
is that they were played alone
and not by me as I never dared to care
-------------
Anonymous
- Thursday, January 08, 2004 at 16:23:37 (PST)


you cannot cheat me out of my existence
by your intimidation as it will not work
you are not on my plane and I am not on yours
so why you gotta to be persistent about things
that to me don't ever matter but dam I am that
is for sure and although you seem to think you
know the truth of the matter is that you don't!

-------------
Anonymous
- Thursday, January 08, 2004 at 16:19:22 (PST)


same ol same ol

you can't fill a void with alcohol
but I know you will try
you know you cannot put into a void
a heart filled with anger but still
that is what you do
I am sure that you know you won't
succeed if you don't have the right
frame of mind, heart, body, and soul
but to this day you continue to leave
these three items out of your soul
All I can say is hopefully god will
bless you despite your short comings
that you fail to recognize and then
change...
-------------
Anonymous
- Thursday, January 08, 2004 at 16:15:12 (PST)


...."her and her mother in a full ne lson.."

MMWWWWWWUUUUAHAHAHAHAHAHA AAHAAAHAA!!!!!!!!!

-------------
That was fucking genius
- Wednesday, January 07, 2004 at 22:43:49 (PST)


"The Sad and Untold Truths About the Rehabilatation of Plagerism and The Sacred Tina Crack Sore Poetry"

I love you and your crack sores
would you could you be my crack whore sore for ever more
Dr. Seuss and Edgar Allan Poe
generic bleach blonde slut stunt double with out crack sores prayers whats all your love for
and the sad ending is somebody stole my crack whore
I love you and your crack sores
-------------
Anonymous
- Wednesday, January 07, 2004 at 20:53:29 (PST)


all one wit yous in that funky ol' cat box

I wanted your magic cat box in the worst way
I did far tard a sea
bout you every cat box way every cat box day
even when
the wind is full of cat box mind rehearsel s
-------------
cat box tard bard ski
- Wednesday, January 07, 2004 at 20:42:09 (PST)


"johnny hollywood never said the crack sores would save us"

said the preacher as he rode the mule back into town.

"I tried to drown him when he got bap tised but he lived,I knew he was the devil then when he was just a kid" the preacher went on.


Bertha pulled her horse up next to the preachers mule and stuck the barrel of the shot gun to the preachers head and said " Suck my left nut you commie bastard"

"Thats it,I'm gonna recomend five hours of cat box duty to the leader of the cross threaded lesbian mafia union leader" said the now very angry preacher

"nana na na na I aint in that union" said the queen of the cat boxes
-------------
:::::
- Wednesday, January 07, 2004 at 20:35:10 (PST)


Day One Test Two


It takes two hundred Tina sores setting side by side to equal the length of the cat box so if my love for you was say fifteen cat boxes high that would then become
A. "My love for You is three thousand Tina Sores high"

B. "My love for You is kinda smelly."

C. "My love,it isn't you its me."

D. "My love for You don't take near as long I mean is so much faster when I think about that cute blonde I love"

E. All of the above and Bertha too.
-------------
:
- Wednesday, January 07, 2004 at 20:21:15 (PST)


now you are getting it!
-------------
Anonymous
- Wednesday, January 07, 2004 at 16:41:00 (PST)


arrr me mateys
what's it to yers
ter me, its all about the horizon
and them thaaar free-domes.
arrr
me mateys
arrrrr
-------------
Anonymous
- Wednesday, January 07, 2004 at 15:45:58 (PST)


"The Tina Sore Boat will float with out you and your love"

Its ok if you don't like to share your cat box boat with me
the tina sore boat is still the better of the three
so someday it will dry up like yours
we'll see
and thats when the tina sores are gonna be free
free free
ba by
-------------
Anonymous
- Wednesday, January 07, 2004 at 10:17:28 (PST)


The Secret Tina Sore Dough Reciepe

Well ya all start wit yer main ingreediant there
that would honeyski bee of up most importance
ya gotta have yer Tina
which is where them old Tina sores
comes from in the first place
and you then gotta scrape her for the soreswith a special navigational system probing device
and make shure the yeast will rise
as the sores become open
then I likes to give her a dollar sometimes
-------------
:::::::::::::
- Wednesday, January 07, 2004 at 10:14:18 (PST)


"7th inning Tina sore stretch"

sometimes i think i believe
theres a time for it
this is
-------------
Anonymous
- Tuesday, January 06, 2004 at 21:19:50 (PST)


Tina's magic crack sore a go go

when and just then her crack sore opens again
my navigational system thought it to be safe
and plunged right in
and it learned a lesson
just as well
those crack sores are dangerous
and they bite alright
when her crack sores bite
theres a red flag that says oww

and if her crack sore ever closes
thats the day you'll see
lotsa lotsa crack sore depression
crack sore regression
-------------
Anonymous
- Tuesday, January 06, 2004 at 21:05:23 (PST)


"I've got to hide the Tina Crack Sores 'cause you know who's coming to town"

I've got to hide the Tina crack sores
cause you know how's coming to town

I've got to hide them old Tina crack sores
'cause you know whos coming to town

and if they wont let us ride in the old crack sore boat
hows it going to float for ever more
ozzing out of her crack sore pours
-------------
Tina crack sorealicous-ski
- Tuesday, January 06, 2004 at 20:53:13 (PST)


who do you think you are
trying to go against me
I am so in control that
theres no room for you
to pinch me outta
this life that you envy
and just so you know I
cannot be made to go until
I give the command to do so
and so therefore if you must
know how so then you should
first understand that trying
to rip off that which is not
yours is not the way to get
to your path which by the way
is not the same as ours!

-------------
Anonymous
- Tuesday, January 06, 2004 at 16:53:49 (PST)


i am doing good ... how bout you?
i will take your advice to heart
and study to learn what you've taught m e!

-------------
Anonymous
- Tuesday, January 06, 2004 at 16:41:45 (PST)


I'm coming to town
will you be around
shall I do a sound
or will you frown?

-------------
Anonymous
- Tuesday, January 06, 2004 at 15:38:03 (PST)


maybe so, but i'd take it over nu-hipster subpop anyday!
-------------
Anonymous
- Monday, January 05, 2004 at 23:17:02 (PST)


disco still sucks
-------------
Anonymous
- Monday, January 05, 2004 at 21:09:00 (PST)


three giraffes frozen in time
yo mean reason and rhyme as the
latter does have reason and the
former does have rhyme with this
whole five sentence structure

-------------
Anonymous
- Monday, January 05, 2004 at 16:36:35 (PST)


Good-Bye
To you,
and us.
-------------
Pretynd
- Monday, January 05, 2004 at 12:22:24 (PST)


yes, for God's sake, let's hear it for chocolate !!!!!!!!!!!!
-------------
Anonymous
- Monday, January 05, 2004 at 11:47:19 (PST)


I wanted you in the worst way
but because I couldn't have you
I just fantasized about you every
day that went by I was in your arms
wishing for us to be picked up by the
wind and have it fly us away so that
we alone could play out the fantasy
I so often rehearsed in my mind
for the time we would really be alone
-------------
Anonymous
- Monday, January 05, 2004 at 07:35:40 (PST)


haven't you ever heard of plagerism?
yah know one can be in some serious
seriousness for trying to rip off
that which is not theirs and frankly
it is not fair to try and ride the coat
tails of those who in the end you will
not care for nor will you respect and so
on that note you are not allowed entry into
into our boat

-------------
Anonymous
- Monday, January 05, 2004 at 07:25:27 (PST)


everything is what it is
whether you see it as this
and I call it that together
there is no right or wrong
for there is only what I see
and what you call and separately
we take our views and handle them
differently because that is what
I am told to tell you that you
don't belong not in here or out there
or anywhere we are for that matt er
-------------
Anonymous
- Monday, January 05, 2004 at 07:21:02 (PST)


Try and grasp this ... they think they've got me
just cause they lost some time hanging around me
now they are experts on the personality and next
thing you know they will be running around tryin
to imitate something that can't be duplicated as
even a photocopy is not the true version of the o
ig i nal
-------------
Anonymous
- Monday, January 05, 2004 at 07:17:08 (PST)


7 come eleven
-------------
Anonymous
- Monday, January 05, 2004 at 07:11:02 (PST)


7 come 11 yes heather
-------------
Anonymous
- Monday, January 05, 2004 at 07:10:22 (PST)


there was a reminder all around me
of what I was missing back home
so everyday in my head I wrote
about you and about us and how
much I wanted to be surrounded
with you in the love we make
when we are togeth er

-------------
Anonymous
- Monday, January 05, 2004 at 07:09:12 (PST)


do you honestly think they are in the dark
take a look around and tell me what you see
but before you do tell let me assure you that
what you see will always be different from what
we see for it is you in the dark and us going strong
for many many years!

now I tell here cause
noone is ever for sure
but one thing is and that
is that we have always loved
each other and when we come
together which is often we
all share our love and so now
that it is out how yah going
to prove our gatherings when
you don't even know what we
are all about in sync with
each other

-------------
Anonymous
- Monday, January 05, 2004 at 06:57:07 (PST)


the light years between us
is something that cannot be
measured for it is too big
so why you got to try and
pull my magnetics your way
is beyond me and my existence
for you are not even suppose
to be heading my way into a
path designed for me and them
for we are the love life stars

-------------
Anonymous
- Monday, January 05, 2004 at 06:49:12 (PST)


being exposed to all kinds of walks of life
can be so overwhelming that one just wants to
die or better yet sit down and cry but then
of course someone will come along to say
enuffs enough now dry your eyes little one
and to that I say just leave me alone while
I acknowledge that human existance is disgusting
and the only humans that I require next to me
are those who have my other half of his groove!
-------------
Anonymous
- Monday, January 05, 2004 at 06:40:53 (PST)


you are lost and I am not responsible for you
I have already made my bond with those alike
and sometimes it has to be with dykes as it
is always with those Who Are Alike and just
in case you weren't aware this bond that I
share with members of the opposite sex will over
time pass over you because deep down you do not
belong in our triangular circle because
four is not a crowd but five is
-------------
Anonymous
- Monday, January 05, 2004 at 06:30:09 (PST)


There is nothing I can do
that you won't try even if
it is a lie that I put you
through so that I can quietly
chukkle at your response while
you try to figure me out but
there is doubt in your mind
because I am not predictable
nor am I what you are all about
-------------
Anonymous
- Monday, January 05, 2004 at 06:18:21 (PST)


Winner Winner Winner

Kelly Cakes
Miss Monday
-------------
:::::
- Monday, January 05, 2004 at 03:00:00 (PST)




As the sun shines across blue eyes
her smile steals from my soul
eclipsing all art around her
like an angel in my cross roads


-------------
::::::
- Monday, January 05, 2004 at 02:58:01 (PST)


Winner Winner Winner
KellyCakes
Miss 2004
-------------
:::
- Sunday, January 04, 2004 at 20:41:58 (PST)


Bertha you quit writting slag 'bout them lovely contestants

and get back to working on learning to cook
and gettin' you a nice white dress
so as we can marry up right quick then
-------------
:::
- Sunday, January 04, 2004 at 20:39:27 (PST)


in the style of UFO

"lights out,tina crack sore"

lights out lights out tina crack sore
hold tight until the end
i know you'll never wait until tomorrow

Lights out lights out tina crack sore.......
-------------
Anonymous
- Sunday, January 04, 2004 at 20:35:15 (PST)


In the style of alvin lee

Tina crack sore please dont go
tina crack sore please don't go
tina crack sore please don't go
down to new orleans I loves you so

I'll be your dog
I'll be your dog
I'll be your dawg
your mammas a hog
tina crack sore please don't go
-------------
Anonymous
- Sunday, January 04, 2004 at 20:29:21 (PST)


*used up trollop*
**Six Years Running**
*Kellycakes*
WINNER WINNER WI NNER
-------------
Anonymous
- Sunday, January 04, 2004 at 18:25:21 (PST)


Winner Winner Winner

Kelly Cakes
Miss 2004
-------------
:::::::::::::::::::
- Sunday, January 04, 2004 at 16:30:52 (PST)


"Its not right I'm even better than him and I gotta be his security,That Johnny Hollywood is a rotten bastard" Boxcar Jesus told the warmest groupie
as he skimmed the better of the assortment right off the top.

"Just carry that amp and shut up" Bertha told Box Car Jesus.
-------------
::::
- Sunday, January 04, 2004 at 16:29:19 (PST)


Winner Winner Winner

Cassie
Miss January 2004
-------------
: : :
- Sunday, January 04, 2004 at 16:23:13 (PST)


Traditional

"Tina Crack Sore Monday"


Tina crack sore monday
wish it was Tina crack sore sunday
thats my fun day
just another Tina crack sore monday
-------------
Anonymous
- Sunday, January 04, 2004 at 09:08:48 (PST)


no shes not
i wish she was
but shes not
no shes not
because kellycakes is way hotter
smarter
older
and hotter again
-------------
Anonymous
- Saturday, January 03, 2004 at 23:36:33 (PST)


(tina crack whore is really
kellycakes in disguise)
-------------
Anonymous
- Saturday, January 03, 2004 at 21:25:23 (PST)


Traditional

"Tina Crack Whore Monday"


Tina crack whore monday
wish it was Tina crack whore sunday
thats my fun day
just another Tina crack whore monday

-------------
Anonymous
- Saturday, January 03, 2004 at 11:05:24 (PST)


"My Tattoo of You"

The beauty the art
the shape of her face
the poetry I owe her
my heart holds her a place
the twisted braid of her hair
my thoughts of her all day

-------------
Anonymous
- Saturday, January 03, 2004 at 11:03:09 (PST)


Lonely is when
that one peice is gone
that peice that shows the nose to the face
the peice that the cats are batting about aimlessly
across the wooden floor
Lonely is when
the void is so vast
so vast the casual sexual encounters and bags
and bags of hersheys chocolate never seem to make
a difference
Lonely is when
even among a mass of bodies
even among their warmth and words
there is nothing but solitude
and seperation of the soul
Lonely is when
I am breathing in and out

-------------
Pretynd
- Saturday, January 03, 2004 at 04:40:11 (PST)


i love you, Eve.
i'd marry you for your poems
i mean that too
-------------
Anonymous
- Saturday, January 03, 2004 at 00:51:14 (PST)


I am subject to
I'd be fine in a trailer park cemetary
I've only got pencils
It's a little stronger around here
while the world works

finding only why
it would slide right

staging

the things you've got left to step over
the ones you've got to skip
your countenance lifts the burden
lies for you
do you remember this

I pave your memory on
you plow it away
thick-spread sarcasm
all that plus
the things that don't work, vol. IV

It was not supposed to be this way



-------------
Eve
- Friday, January 02, 2004 at 23:22:00 (PST)


Believe me when I say
I would have married you
children and all
I would have loved them like my own
and loved you like no other
I would have birthed that baby boy
the name sake you wish for so
I would have made your dinner
every evening
Cleaned the house
every day
Make love to you every night
Believe me when I say I would have
and more than likely still would

-------------
The fake one
- Friday, January 02, 2004 at 09:40:17 (PST)


eLVIS

Since kelly cakes dont love me
i found a new place to dwell
Down at the end of fuck street
with a guitar named ratchel
i been so lonely baby
i been so lonely baby
i been so lonely i could die
the bell keeps dinging
my bartenders dressed in black
give me a corvette the color of her eyes
and I'll never bring her back
I been so lonely
I been so lonely
take a solo yoko
oink oink
snort
whats your badge number

I been so lonely baby
I been so lonely barbie
I been so lonely
I could die

-------------
Anonymous
- Friday, January 02, 2004 at 05:37:31 (PST)


wait wait wait,
so you "shit your pants" but "only farted"...
soooo um i'm going to have
to conclude that you only left skidmarks
-------------
Anonymous
- Friday, January 02, 2004 at 00:05:37 (PST)


i shit my pants but only farted
in the rockenbach parking lot
but they beat me to it.


-------------
Anonymous
- Thursday, January 01, 2004 at 20:46:19 (PST)


When the man calls the sexy sexy woman
and pisses into a urinal that is to quiet for the sexy sexy woman to hear him drain his main vain
but he tells her about it anyway
they are still and always soul mates
and he is still wrong.
-------------
Anonymous
- Thursday, January 01, 2004 at 10:40:15 (PST)


When a sexy sexy woman
calls up a man and pisses into the phone
they have a bond together,
and when the man goes out the next day and pays three bills for a cell phone to recieve more calls
from the aforementioned sexy sexy woman
they become soul mates
even if the man buys a nextel
instead of a sprint picture phone
they are still soul mates
it only means he is a man
and again he is and was wrong.
-------------
T or F ?
- Thursday, January 01, 2004 at 10:37:18 (PST)


Oh, God
If not you then someone just like you

Please, to whoever is up there, heed my call for one
JUST LIKE HIM.

I would marry all 50 of your clones
-------------
Eve
- Wednesday, December 31, 2003 at 00:55:03 (PST)


"Johnny F.N. Hollywood sent the reciepe for
the "Tina Sore Lime Spread" in to the newspaper
and won that twenty-five dollars proper."
Johnny Hollywoods new attorney told the bag lady
as he put her and her mother in a full nelson.

"Gimmie that thar can o beans" said the bag ladys momma soundin' real desperate like.

"Peasants,all of them" said the bag lady making it official

Then somebody done throwed that thar can of pork and beans at Johnny Fuckin' Hollywoods
and bust him in the got damn head.

In the confusion Bertha Mae walked over to Dr. Gails beamer and scratched the dog shit outta it with her "made in twian" spurs.

"Bertha Mae, Bertha Mae, Bertha Mae"
the crowd chanted
and the flag of carmen diaz was raised
the sun had risen
let us prey

Our Heavenly Father
in the heavens
let the code names "bertha","berthatard"
and "berthachrist" recieve your blessing.

(The Curtian Falls)
The Cross Threaded Lesbian Mafia Union Orcestra
plays that morrison you like so much
your sisters lap dance ends abruptly
-------------
.
- Tuesday, December 30, 2003 at 21:48:19 (PST)


I miss you
believe me I do
-------------
Anonymous
- Tuesday, December 30, 2003 at 12:17:44 (PST)


fa la la la laaaaa
la la
la
laaaaa

now gimme a beer
-------------
Anonymous
- Tuesday, December 30, 2003 at 12:10:21 (PST)


lovelyritababy
-------------
Anonymous
- Monday, December 29, 2003 at 19:45:18 (PST)


Free the thoughts

free your mind

free yourself
-------------
Anonymous
- Monday, December 29, 2003 at 02:14:23 (PST)


The Kelly Cakes National Anthym

The winter air filled with your voice
my eyes recieve the vision
the art
the warmth inside my heart.

-------------
:
- Monday, December 29, 2003 at 02:11:30 (PST)


down every road
theres a path back to bertha
my sweet bertha
bertha with the great big ass
my bertha
-------------
Anonymous
- Monday, December 29, 2003 at 02:11:07 (PST)


"The Crack Whore Prom"

Been saving it all for you
every drop

-------------
T.C.W.P.
- Monday, December 29, 2003 at 02:02:44 (PST)


PS...I could use a drink....or 653
-------------
Anonymous
- Sunday, December 28, 2003 at 23:58:02 (PST)


to smithereens
nothing to do
there's no stopping
refuse the brain patterns
tell myself no

I'm not really feeling anything
when my left ventricle goes out

disgenerous to a fault
the non-love I've gotta make up
anytime I even hear in your direction
perpertual denial
acute dissmissal
inhaling your space
and not a drop in sight to kick it all

There has to be a reason, there must be a reason
under the sun


What's on it's way
what's on it's wa y



-------------
Eve
- Sunday, December 28, 2003 at 23:54:43 (PST)


"The 100 Mile An Hour Heart Breakin' Crack Whore Blues"

I got the 100 mph heart breakin' crack whore blues
I do not
I do too
I don't know how come I got them
but I got them
hundred mile an hour
super fast crack whore slut
heart breaking blues
I do not
I do too.
-------------
Anonymous
- Sunday, December 28, 2003 at 21:29:43 (PST)


"I been missing my Crack Whore"

I been missing my crack whore
so much it hurts me
I been missing my crack whore
think ya all can see
I been missing my crack whore
even tried watching T.V.
it's not the same
I been missing my crack whore
but my crack whore
she don't miss me.

Thats hows come I got these ol'
I been missing my crack whore blues

I been missing my crack whore
shes the only one for me
I'm in love with my crack whore
thats something she don't believe
I been missing my crack whore
you don't think she'ld cheat on me?
I been missing my crack whore
but she don't even remember me.
and

thats how's come I got 'em
thats hows come I got these ol'
I been missing my crack whore blues

I been missing my crack whore
wanna plant my seed
in my nasty crack whore for shure
sounds good to me
I been missing my crack whore
the only girl that I wanna see
I been missing my crack whore honey
for a crack whore shes to sweet
I been missing my crack whore
but my crack whore she don't miss me.
-------------
From the Crack Whore Blues Collection
- Sunday, December 28, 2003 at 13:42:49 (PST)


"Mad Cow Disease and a Crack Whore Named Tina"

Mad cow disease and a crack whore named Tina
mad cow disease and a crack whore named Tina
mad cow disease and a crack whore named Tina
and I like cabbage rolls too!

Mad cow disease and a crack whore named Tina
mad cow disease and a crack whore named Tina
mad cow disease and a crack whore named Tina
how ya all do what yourn do?

Mad cow disease and a crack whore named Tina
mad cow disease and a crack whore named Tina
mad cow disease and a crack whore named Tina
What the hells wrong wit yous?
-------------
Anonymous
- Sunday, December 28, 2003 at 13:31:54 (PST)


"Tina Sore Snicker Salad"

For the Tina sore snicker salad
you may need a little elbow grease
and for more than just the halibut
give the Tina sore snicker salad reciepe unto me
Give the tina sore snicker salad reciepe to me
won't you
won't you please
give the Tina sore snicker salad reciepe to me

I wake up in the morning
and theres no Tina Sores for me
what about the Tina sore snicker salad
my Tina sore snicker salad appetite says to me

The Tina sore snicker salad
is all I'll ever need
after the Tina sore snicker salad
I will not have to brush my teeth

When I see the Tina sore snicker salad
all I want to do is eat
another Tina sore snicker salad
if you ,,,if you baby....if you please

Tina sore snicker salad never ever sleeps
Tina sore snicker salad only sometimes ryhymes with sleeze
The Tina sore snicker salad
soon to be as seen on TV
Because the Tina sore snicker salad
is a moist deli catcy
-------------
the cat box crippleing crack whore sniffing Crack Whore Poet
- Sunday, December 28, 2003 at 01:42:02 (PST)


Bargin

More crack whore sores for your dollar
I thought I heard my honey holler
I then gave her a slober shower
hoping she'ld come clean

More crack whore sores for your dollar
I thought about her for an hour
from the time I lied to her
and said I got you some flowers
to a simple plan to convert my brain
into bieng crack whore powered
-------------
The Crack Whore Poet
- Sunday, December 28, 2003 at 01:01:21 (PST)


Crack Whore Sore Loser


When the sun comes out
when the moon ain't around
the crack whore sores don't go away

When your in doubt
and you wonder if bulldykes are gay
remember always
this is what they say
the crack whore sores are here to stay

spackle up the crack whore sores
with crack whore sore remover
a crack whore in the hand
is better than two in the bush
because this ones a hoover

The crack whore sores won't hurt no more
yeah theres no such thing as a crack whore sore loser
you can win even more crack whore sores
if you ever choose her

crack whore sores crack whore sores
you wont miss them if you snore
they won't go away if you pray
sand paper seems to make them smoother
-------------
The Crack Whore Songwritter
- Sunday, December 28, 2003 at 00:54:22 (PST)


"Magic Crack Whore Hog Lipped Bitch"

Oh my magic crack whore hog lipped bitch
I don't care if you make me itch
and sometimes your kinda a snitch
like a whore cop baby
my lovely magic crack whore hog lipped bitch

Oh I dream the day we wed
and the lord will bless us
so I can take care of your cat box mess
because even though your a whore cop in excess
you'll always be
the magic crack whore hog lipped bitch that I love best
-------------
The Crack Whore Poet
- Sunday, December 28, 2003 at 00:42:38 (PST)


1 2 3 4
-------------
Anonymous
- Saturday, December 27, 2003 at 17:41:53 (PST)


he don't miss you none, hon
-------------
Anonymous
- Saturday, December 27, 2003 at 10:39:26 (PST)


Man says that hell is hot,
Dante said that it is cold
away from Gods light
close to the wrath of satans fire,
whatever,
to me this hell is a horrible room temperature
no luxury such as focusing on your body heat,
just the lukewarm injustice of pondering
what in the hell it is that I am doing here.
oh wait, its you,
still doesnt help anything knowin g
-------------
Pretynd
- Saturday, December 27, 2003 at 02:11:29 (PST)


Thank you left hand, thank you.
-------------
Anonymous
- Saturday, December 27, 2003 at 01:18:43 (PST)


(Traditional)
Southren Version

"Tina Crack Sores"

Tina crack sores everywhere
Tina crack sores everywhere
Tina crack sores everywhere
and her daddy done blew three dogs x4
-------------
Anonymous
- Friday, December 26, 2003 at 22:37:04 (PST)


Yes, but I got to go out with Bili Rubin.


Top THAT!!!!!!!!!!!1
-------------
Anonymous
- Friday, December 26, 2003 at 11:05:15 (PST)


well now
i aint been known for no fancy-ass shoes
and none o' yur ballgowns
no how no way
but
i do like them
fancypants
gentlewomen
serving lasses
serve me up a spoonful
sugah sugah
-------------
Anonymous
- Thursday, December 25, 2003 at 23:07:49 (PST)


"Hot Crack Whore Jaundice Extract"

When I look into your yeller eyes
I know yous got to be mine
your the only one I see
ever says sweet things to me
like the words I love to hear
"Bend me over and fuck me here"
yeah I think your the one I love
sent from the heavens above

When I fuck you in the yard
you dont seem so much the tard
when I bang you behind the bar
and we rock the old police car
when were done we can't go back
when its blood thats come
mixed and shaken not stirred
blended to foam
Hot crack whore jaundice extract
-------------
The Crack Whore Poet
- Thursday, December 25, 2003 at 22:07:51 (PST)


(Traditional)

"Tina Crack Sores"

Tina crack sores,and I don't care
Tina crack sores,and I don't care
Tina crack sores,and I don't care
because her pimp done got locked up
x4
-------------
.
- Thursday, December 25, 2003 at 21:59:23 (PST)


"SUPER FAST CRACK WHORE MOMMA BLUES"

I got them ol' super fast crack whore mamma blues
You know I do
super fast crack whore mamma
I live for you
you know I do
shes a super fast crack whore mamma
gives me the real cruel I been a fool for you and still do would to I do blues
every now and then
I guess I got them
super fast crack whore momma
ripped my heart into
super fast crack whore momma
gives me the super fast crack whore momma blues
-------------
:::
- Thursday, December 25, 2003 at 21:56:49 (PST)


Meanwhile back at Hollywood headquarters

Everyone was listening to the evil C.T.L.M.U.'s
satanic sacraficial ritual live from the C.T.L.M.union Hall lobby via the radiophonic micrororecorder in motion at the tardfest deluxe.


-------------
:::::::: : : : : : :
- Thursday, December 25, 2003 at 21:51:12 (PST)


"My Little Hill Billy Crack Whore"

My little hill billy crack whore
she belongs in a trailer park alright
My little hill billy crack whore
some day I'm gonna make her mine
My little hill billy crack whore
I would have got you a ring
but I don't know the size
My little hill billy crack whore
wears colored contacts and even if she don't
she is more than fine

I love my little Hill Billy Crack Whore
theres nothing can be done
I lust after my little hill billy crack whore
in the morning sun
I love my hill billy crack whore
because sometimes she is fun
I love that lovely crack whore
until there is none
-------------
The Crack Whore Poet
- Thursday, December 25, 2003 at 21:45:07 (PST)


The Leader of the Cross Threaded Lesbian Mafia
stood with her size thirteen foot on Johnny Hollywoods neck and her size fourteen foot on lugnuts numbers one and two.
It was obvoious to Johnny Hollywood that this one had been cross threaded for a very long time,so far to the point that she now had different sized legs and feet.

"I read in the brochure that some little hot as fuck asian bitch was suppose to do the walking in the back thing?" Johnny Hollywood asked at the same time planting a bug in the plants on the counter of the lobby at the C.T.L.M. Union Hall and Bingo Palace.

Back at Hollywood headquarters they could now hear the secret lesbian chants and diabolical plans to win a game against the Chicago Bears.
-------------
::::::
- Thursday, December 25, 2003 at 21:35:31 (PST)


fa la la la laaaaaa
la
la
laaa
l aaaaaa
-------------
Anonymous
- Thursday, December 25, 2003 at 16:39:31 (PST)


jaundice *IS* liver disease, you crack-monkey's illegitimate heroin baby's be-filthed diaper rag
-------------
Anonymous
- Thursday, December 25, 2003 at 16:38:38 (PST)


"Early Mornin' Crack Whore Body Odor Blues"

The smell of my crack whore in the early morning
the scent of her cat box at night
a used up dried up bar rag
she aint
but she is
more than T- I- ALL RIGHT

The smell of my crack whore in the morning
a bar of Ivory just might
help it some without warning
love is what her kisses taste like

Secret might help it
Lysol and hot water and bleach and sos pads
would be fine
a class at the communitty college on when to purchase tampons and someone could tell her wearing underware
its ok its alright

but other than that
this is no lie
shes just as warm as you
in day or night.

The smell of my crack whore in the morning
is a little more than I'd like
the smell of my crack whore I'm learning
incense and stick em's
are fine

we could rub a little garlic on her
or I could drink some Lysterine and hickey her clean
if you like
but the smell of my crack whore in the morning
is the issue here
but other than that shes just fine
-------------
The Crack Whore Poet
- Thursday, December 25, 2003 at 15:42:25 (PST)


I'm on a mesikin
whoooa oh
radio

every body
sing it if you know it

I'm on a mesikin whoooa oh radi o
-------------
Anonymous
- Thursday, December 25, 2003 at 15:27:32 (PST)


YOU BITCHES BETTER QUIT FIGHTING OVER MY CRACK WHORE
OR YOUR GOING TO GET ANOTHER TIME OUT.
-------------
Anonymous
- Thursday, December 25, 2003 at 15:18:31 (PST)


suppressing love
this, officially, is hell.
-------------
Anonymous
- Thursday, December 25, 2003 at 13:07:41 (PST)


that would be kidneys, dear.
you know, like jaundice?

still in sixth grade, are we?
-------------
Anonymous
- Thursday, December 25, 2003 at 00:09:58 (PST)


aren't yellow eyes a symptom of Liver Disease?

merry agnostica!
-------------
Anonymous
- Wednesday, December 24, 2003 at 17:51:19 (PST)


my wish to you

joy for the holiday season
many orgasms

and the ability to fucking spell, you bastards!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

fuck us, every one .


-------------
The only place that saves us from death
- Wednesday, December 24, 2003 at 14:49:22 (PST)


Winner Winner Winner
Ratchel
Miss Christmas 2003
-------------
:::::::
- Wednesday, December 24, 2003 at 05:05:31 (PST)


love nothing
die
a
painful death

piss on james dean's grave

fly the flag of poland on your mail box if you must

pretend you don't care
only to waste more of life

ewww,you were born dead
like pizza nicole from domimo's

I would be happy with TNT

I would cheat on anyone for or with her in a minute
to any extent

I could care less about poetry
shes a heart breakin crazy girl in every sense
and I never think about her
and if you say I do that is a lie
and I'm not thinking about her now your lying

if there is a god she is blonde
and I would fuck her over
to get lost in yellow eyes...............
-------------
Anonymous
- Wednesday, December 24, 2003 at 05:03:06 (PST)


We fade away, you know. Ths mountains there, they won't, they'll go on forever slowly wearing down to nothing, but we won't.
-------------
Anonymous
- Monday, December 22, 2003 at 21:06:54 (PST)


ewww. With those choices, I think I'll take death
-------------
Anonymous
- Monday, December 22, 2003 at 21:05:22 (PST)


Give me Tina or give me death
-------------
Anonymous
- Monday, December 22, 2003 at 20:47:56 (PST)


Tina you know I love you more than anything in life
-------------
Anonymous
- Monday, December 22, 2003 at 20:24:52 (PST)


Tina you know I love you more than anything in life
-------------
Anonymous
- Monday, December 22, 2003 at 20:24:50 (PST)


"You are my favourite TV Screen"
and I love to watch you
over and over again
playing behind my eyes
Your smell
Your sight
Your taste
Your touch
Your sound
Beautiful things so hard to find
and so I have your every move
on repeat in my mind
You are without a doubt
one show I cannot do without



-------------
Pretynd
- Monday, December 22, 2003 at 17:18:02 (PST)


Dear Santa Baby,
I would ask for him for Christmas
I would ask to feel him in my arms again
To have his eyes on mine
To have his arm behind my head
while sleeping sleep so soundly in my bed
I would ask for him to have my comfort
to offer him my sanctity
I would ask to have his hand
high upon my hip, breath soft and hot on my back
I would ask to see his smile when I touch him
I would ask to hear his words
so sensible and serene
I would ask to have his tongue running
softly over my collar bone
to feel his fingers engulfing mine
just one more time
But Santa, I know there are things even you can't do
so please please Santa
for Christmas this year
give him peace from me
peace to let his soul rest
and if you get the time
let me have some of that peace as well
even ten minutes free from this will do
please Santa,
It's all I'll ask of you
-------------
Pretynd
- Monday, December 22, 2003 at 16:01:55 (PST)


1. More of Bennes Stockholmian Skunk.
2. More of the old dead peoples Rohypnol.
3. That my wife will agree to anal sex more often.
4. A direct line to the Coca-Cola company.
5. Free nicotine.
6. A new strap-on for my wife.
7. A new dolly dress for Michaels new years party.
8. More water based "do me right".
9. Naget pictures of my self.

-------------
Z
- Monday, December 22, 2003 at 08:25:05 (PST)


My christmas list:
1. Marina
2. writing talent (hack will do)
3. sex
4. sex
5. a hot semi-underage boy with scruffy hair

-------------
Anonymous
- Sunday, December 21, 2003 at 21:52:25 (PST)


poetry
the way you move
-------------
Anonymous
- Sunday, December 21, 2003 at 17:55:32 (PST)


P.S.
Post Script

Have you heard anything from Bertha?
I would also like an old Gibson S.G.
an new Gibson S.G. two Marshal stacks
and a Randy Roades jackson flying "V"
please make all guitars ratchel red or black in color
and please no accoustics.
Thanks Again

-------------
Travis Ray Cole
- Sunday, December 21, 2003 at 09:29:24 (PST)


Dear Saint Nicolas,

How are you? I am fine.
I appoligize for not writting back to you sooner,There was something wrong with my email,it's better if you email me @ the gaswars.com email address

I am sorry to hear about Mrs. Claus' nasty yeast infection flaring up yet once again,
I assure you I had nothing to do with it
so maybe it's just that time of year
or you know crazy things happen
when you listen to way to much Dean Martin.

Having found out about your obsession with Mrs. Field's, This year I have your hard to get favorite Mrs. Feilds Macodamin nut cookies for you in exchange for my gift/gifts these are very large cookies and fresh too (I am talking prioity list,skip someone somewhere and get here fast),in addition to the execelent selection of cookies
I have some nice rare photos of Mrs. Fields
baking in the french maid outfit,so you'll want to hide those from Ol' yeast bag.
I have been good this year practicing and I did'nt kill nobody, not even that karokee whore I made the mistake of marring last year,although my attorney
is mad(he wrote down that it would not go over eleven hundred dollars and I gave him eight to start the get free campagion and then he sent me bills all along each step of the way explaining what they did for the money 15 bucks for a phone call
derove to Waukgan for free etc. telling me everything they did and they came up to seven hundred and fifty one dollars
and the then divorce was over the bill was seven fifty one and some change then a month afterwards and then
I call over there wanting my forty eight dollars back
they tell me I have to wait for the next menstral I mean billing cycle and they send a bill to me a month later for seven fifty one american,now I already paid him eight one hundred dollar bills to rid myself of the kids new mom and he wants seven hundred and fifty one more dollars,well I know how to count and I can plainly see that eight hundred and seven fifty one equal a lot more than eleven hundred and when you get here I can show you where he did write will not go over eleven hundred dollars, so I called them and told them to quit sending me bills because I have high blood pressure and I would not send any additional monies until they kill that bitch,then next month I get another bill for seven fifty one,are they crazy?
So if you could just take a big old dookie in my attorneys stocking for me and one in squerillys or shirleys or whatever the fuck her name was.
anyway although I did not personally kill any landscaping for God this year I know people who have
and I have been very well behaved this year,I assure you,I swear to God
and I would like to sweat on her too.

So with out further delay here are my demands
(Not so much focused on the materail things,see I can't even spell that word.)
but I would very much like..................

1. Kelly Cakes
2. Cassandra Cassie
3. Jessica K.
4. Gina Gina Gina
5. Rachel
6. Christina
7. Tina (T.N.T.)
8. Robbin
9. Olivia
10.Chrissy
11.the other Jessica
12.Katy
13.Linda
14.Shelly
15.Hortencia
16.Rainie
17.Golda
18.Amanda
19. A brand new Corvette to match Cassie's eyes
20. A nice house in Lake Forest with 7.5 bathrooms

Thank You, Thank You Very Much.
-------------
Travis Ray Cole
- Sunday, December 21, 2003 at 09:19:52 (PST)


iN THE STYLE OF BOB DLYAN

{The Tina Sore Intro Solo}

How many Tina sores can one man have
before they call him a Tina sore?
The answer my friend is count them again
the answer is count them again.

{The Tina Sore Solo,An exercise in double stops}

How many Tina sores can one man have
before they call him a Tina sore?
The answer my friend is count them again
the answer is count them again.

{Outro Tina Sore Solo, using tremolo bar to remove most or all of the strings}

{The Tina Sore Reprise}

How many Tina sores can one man have
before they call him a Tina sore?
The answer my friend is count them again
the answer is count them again.
-------------
From the Tina Sore Collection
- Saturday, December 20, 2003 at 18:13:43 (PST)


Is a pizza round?
-------------
Anonymous
- Saturday, December 20, 2003 at 18:06:21 (PST)


When are they going to indite the twelve Governers before Ryan?
-------------
Anonymous
- Saturday, December 20, 2003 at 07:47:40 (PST)


Jim Ryan

If only dodge had made a better mini van
he would have never have been busted
But Lee Iaacoca bieng the illigetiment son
of Fidal Castro he didnt really care much
and when the Truck driver fresh in from poland bought his liscence he was only used to riding a mule
and when the garbage fell off his truck
and the dodge ran it over and the gas tank exploded
Lee Iaccoca saved a dollar twenty eight
and six kids burned to death the the dodge
that bears the upside down star
and the mark of the beast
So all eyes right
everyone blames the politician
who was saving for a rainy day
as if the lottery was'nt enough

with money

so as a cell mate he choose Micheal J ackson
only because Micheal J ackson looks like Mary Tyler Moore,It was either him or Martha Stwart.

1. Whose brother ran the next state

2.Will Jim Ryan and Micheal Jackson's marriage
be valid in prisons outside of Illinois?

3.How many Cat Boxes high is my love for a little nursey babe from DePaul?

4.Why did Lee Iaccoca go with the upside down star
and not pitchforks on the side of the automobiles?
-------------
Anonymous
- Saturday, December 20, 2003 at 07:40:42 (PST)


my guitar just whanks off in the corner by itself.
i feel so unloved somehow
and unsatisfied
i think its time i took up the harmonica
-------------
Anonymous
- Friday, December 19, 2003 at 23:11:24 (PST)


Johnny Hollywood took the entire truck load
of bogus money the infamous cat Box Jesus made on the computer and bought an old school bus full of mentally handicap people from the "secret obease pimp" and then he bought the election and had a nice acceptence speech wrote for him while he waited.

It went as follows

Our heavenly father
we'ld like to thank you for country music
"Hey what the fuck kinda speech
did you write me you secret police bastard"
^^^^^^^^
(FEEDBACK)

Johnny Holywood had to adlib the acceptance speech
because the terriblely rotten secret obease police chump who loved a pimp pulled a theft of services
trick.

Johnny Began to puke
-------------
Anonymous
- Friday, December 19, 2003 at 21:52:10 (PST)


COME ON

BABY DON'T YOU WANNA GO?

COME ON

BABY DON'T YOU WANNA GO?

BACK TO THAT SAME OLD PLACE... ..
-------------
Sweet Home Chicago
- Friday, December 19, 2003 at 16:25:37 (PST)


1. Chop them up real fast.
2. and pathetic supstitute for my small penis.
3. So very true.
4. Depends on the grain.

-------------
Z
- Friday, December 19, 2003 at 00:45:46 (PST)


OINK SUCK
-------------
Anonymous
- Thursday, December 18, 2003 at 22:28:29 (PST)


SOMEWHERE AN old girlfriend i used to have CRIES. wonderING what the GUITARS NAME IS NOW
THAT I'M IN LOVE WITH A GOOD LOOKING WHORE
-------------
Anonymous
- Thursday, December 18, 2003 at 22:26:30 (PST)


It's the guitars fault
Johnny Hollywoods bartender thought
-------------
Anonymous
- Thursday, December 18, 2003 at 22:21:24 (PST)


this is also a test

1. Fat ugly women only smell for a little while if you ___________________.




2.MY GUITAR IS A RESPECTABLE____________.




3.Obease women never have yeast infections on the second tuesday of every other month starting with an odd month. True or False?________________.



4.You just can't use sand paper on the Tina sores.
True of False?_____________.


-------------
:::::::::::; ::::::::::::::
- Thursday, December 18, 2003 at 22:19:06 (PST)


*my* guitar cries the name of an old girlfriend i used to have. Makes me wonder what they did when i wasnt looking.
that guitar's such a whore
-------------
Anonymous
- Thursday, December 18, 2003 at 15:29:59 (PST)


Makes my guitar cry her name
-------------
Anonymous
- Thursday, December 18, 2003 at 06:38:12 (PST)


Head Games

I care to much
-------------
Anonymous
- Wednesday, December 17, 2003 at 18:39:57 (PST)


"Addicted"

Your eyes
You make me crazy
till I overdose on you
and that is not enough
Your curls
yes you
are
the


everything
-------------
Anonymous
- Wednesday, December 17, 2003 at 18:39:09 (PST)


"poetry"

I'm not buying you a rose next year


-------------
Anonymous
- Wednesday, December 17, 2003 at 18:33:29 (PST)


Hi
-------------
Anonymous
- Wednesday, December 17, 2003 at 05:18:59 (PST)


the redhaired devlish girl dont taste as good as she looks.
try the brunette, shes fantastic
-------------
Anonymous
- Tuesday, December 16, 2003 at 21:39:28 (PST)


what? The only cinnamin dish ya all's got is the red headed devil girl?


-------------
Anonymous
- Tuesday, December 16, 2003 at 20:46:22 (PST)


what do you mean they dont come in c innamon?
-------------
Anonymous
- Tuesday, December 16, 2003 at 20:44:48 (PST)


Should'nt the Tina sores have gone away by now?
-------------
Anonymous
- Tuesday, December 16, 2003 at 20:39:10 (PST)


I have a bowl of the Bertha Stew
-------------
Anonymous
- Tuesday, December 16, 2003 at 20:37:58 (PST)


I want ShellyCakes I want ShellyCakes
I want ShellyCakes I want ShellyCakes
I want ShellyCakes I want ShellyCakes
I want ShellyCakes I want ShellyCakes
I want ShellyCakes I want ShellyCakes
I want ShellyCakes I want ShellyCakes!
-------------
.
- Tuesday, December 16, 2003 at 20:36:51 (PST)


I'll have some of the Bertha Helper
-------------
Anonymous
- Tuesday, December 16, 2003 at 20:35:05 (PST)


theres got to be something
-------------
Anonymous
- Tuesday, December 16, 2003 at 15:54:11 (PST)


Esxcuse me Waitress
Waitress
over her
Yoo Hoo Waitress


Can I change my order to the Seven Gina Salad,Please?

Thats What I want

B7

-------------
:::::::::::
- Tuesday, December 16, 2003 at 10:50:06 (PST)


gimme a cinnamon kelly cakes bun
-------------
Anonymous
- Monday, December 15, 2003 at 22:09:00 (PST)


The Biggest Meanest Ladies in the highest ranks of the Union of the Cross Threaded Lesbian Mafia bolted on thier cast iron shields and loaded thier weapons
lathered each other with cheese and then by horseback invaded Canada this morning taking it back away from the Chinadisease.

"We can refridgeate our beersch outdoors here
we shall concour" Said the moose like fearless leader.
-------------
::::::::
- Monday, December 15, 2003 at 21:55:15 (PST)


well it won't be canada.....we weren't one of the 62!
-------------
Anonymous
- Monday, December 15, 2003 at 19:32:26 (PST)


MORE QUESTIONS

1.Whos gonna work and pay for the Iraqi peoples health care?

2. Will the Tina sores go away soon?
-------------
Anonymous
- Monday, December 15, 2003 at 08:56:10 (PST)


Ah shit they got Saddamski, guess the oil is goona flow again. Keiko is gonna love it, all greased up and ready to be canned.

*oh oh oh, last time i saw Jim he was sucking rattler in Gay paris* * makes funny noise with finger on rubber pants*
-------------
Z
- Monday, December 15, 2003 at 05:25:58 (PST)


Gimme some of the pills ya popping.

*pulls rubber panties back on*

*wants to play with Michael in his dolly room*


-------------
Z
- Monday, December 15, 2003 at 05:21:58 (PST)


In loving memory of
James Douglas Morrison and www.w3px.com/

Johnny Francia Nicolas Hollywood woke up before dawn
cause she was passed out
he put his shoes on
so you know he did'nt sleep at the shelter because he would'nt had shoes when he woke up
right?
early early early
before the birds ate the tequeila worms
and he went down to the tattoo place
and got his KELLYCAKES tattoo covered up
with
you guessed it
it now...instead says
"Kelly Cakes"
-------------
...............
- Monday, December 15, 2003 at 04:59:30 (PST)


The most beautiful girl in Grayslake

don't be mad at me
in my eyes you cause
love to think
-------------
Anonymous
- Monday, December 15, 2003 at 03:02:28 (PST)


Her Habinero-ness

With every tomorrow
that could find me inside your heart
pain has divided the past
something turns cold
but it does'nt have to be us

-------------
Anonymous
- Monday, December 15, 2003 at 03:00:59 (PST)


O.K. Tardzilla-flakes

You are Not capitalizing both the K and the C
in KellyCakes
and don't be mad at Miss Cakes
because you will never look that fine
to be my inspiration and muse,or anyones I guess.

Be mad at your Mammy or God or one of your Daddies,
or someone in your family tree somewhere along the line.

Bow down to the true art,before you are asked to leave her cult.
-------------
.
- Monday, December 15, 2003 at 02:40:09 (PST)


touch me, please
-------------
Anonymous
- Monday, December 15, 2003 at 01:31:46 (PST)


You are the bold.
Whispering glimpses of truth.
The serenity of New Vision.
You are the clairvoyant.
You can see through the center
of my dying skull.

You drench in Mist.
Totally ethereal,
Softly laughing at my feeble attempts to grab you.
Strangle you.
Love you.
One and all.

You are Genesis and before.
You are the Prescience.
Total Time wrapped around your wrist.
You are very constantly surprised.
But never involved.
Watching.

You have the Many Names
As a cloak for the shivering masses.
The fearful ones that raise a finger,
BLAMING!
Yes, blaming. Surprised?
You aren't.
You have no Name at all. Just a vocal chord.

Every cell in my body screams for you.
Every thought in my mind curses you.
I'm the masses and one.
Searching for the Nothing.
And the Infinite.
No Cloaks.

-------------
La Maison Diev
- Sunday, December 14, 2003 at 21:41:37 (PST)


as the cheap chime swatch watch
bellows yet another gong,i am
surrounded by the inescapable force to
mass-turbate.
"i shant wallow in this ef induced
whorebag culprit of vaginal
diarhea."
exclaimed the labia major'e so
arduosly.
"cant fight the seether"
thundered the omnipotent finger fuck.
no one ever spoke a word ever since...
and then all saw the writing on the
wall,and the tall tale of overlooking
the obvious was dismissed.
in the end they too came to ponder
the caricatures of life.
the squirrel to the acorn,the the labia
majore' to the menore',the clit,
the finger fuck.
oooooh and lets not forget our
assertive narrator full of guise.
the watch.yes thats right.
waiting for you all in the hands of time.
-------------
monica
- Sunday, December 14, 2003 at 21:04:55 (PST)


fuck us,
every one
-------------
Anonymous
- Sunday, December 14, 2003 at 19:42:19 (PST)


are u just pretending
to be crazy?

-------------
Anonymous
- Sunday, December 14, 2003 at 19:33:38 (PST)


but but but, i dont LOVE kellycakes so much
as i love using her
.
..
.
of course if THATs what you meant,
my little pretynd darling cupcake loverchops
than i've got enough to go around
and you can have some
too...
-------------
Anonymous
- Sunday, December 14, 2003 at 19:29:55 (PST)


To have someone love me
the way you do sweet Kellycakes
and for me to feel the same
is the timeless dream that I share
with the world
the whisper of how
its never going to happen
is one I hear
in my calmly tormented sleep
my subconcious,
that gentile bastard
how I yearn to prove him
wrong
-------------
Pretynd
- Sunday, December 14, 2003 at 15:16:41 (PST)


they're dancing in the streets

anyone who loves freedom

congrats
-------------
Eve
- Sunday, December 14, 2003 at 09:10:04 (PST)


Once inside the Cat Box "Z" took a quadtriple dose of the Naget Medication
and it made his breasts sag so damn much
that his Nagety elf-ski not only wished the new naget sores and growths could be removed he also believed them to be cancerous and "Z" knew that if this were to be true he may never make it into the Naget Hall of Fame unless he won the Nagamillions Lottery and bought his way into a world of Nagetness.

"That ain't the right way to be.It just ain't fair
It ain't fittin,It ain't right,"Z" ya all should haved earned yer way to the top of the Naget ladder the okd fashioned way by keeping real and paying yer Naget dues like all the other Nagets before you,You can't just line jump when you knowed Micheal Jackson was next in line for the title of Chief Miester Naget"
Said Sodbuster as he and "Z" scraped the "Earl is in the trunk" bumper stickers off the back of the ol' John Deere and made room for the Naget campagne
bumper stickers.

"but I'm aint gonna put that thar "I brake for Naget's" bumper sticker on this here tractor
"Z-Skiezer" Bertha would done shit a niglet"
Sodbuster told "Z" as a matter a factly.

Just then Bertha hollered up from the sewer hole she was in "you better take a god damn class in writtin' nagety poetry you Naget sucking pig!"

"You know shes rude but right" said Box Car Jew Ass.

"Anything to get you laid" The hot hot hot waitress said to Johnny hollywood as he sat in the corner booth
with the new blonde interview major and told her lie after lie.

"Z" was'nt worried about a thing
he had been trained in the art of Nagetism at the finest school of Naget instruction and since out into the real world of the Naget grind
he had praticed his nagetness to the point where
his naget skills had become Nagmafied.
-------------
:::::;;
- Sunday, December 14, 2003 at 03:20:52 (PST)


booo booo sell that to the pope!
-------------
Anonymous
- Sunday, December 14, 2003 at 00:56:10 (PST)


Yesterday

As the Violins burned the pages floated around

The cross with your hair wrapped around it glowed
in the darkness ontop of the three violins

The metal shined and oxidized as it cooled
oxidizing quickly to rust
like the warmth in your smile when my memory fades.
-------------
Travis Ray Cole
- Saturday, December 13, 2003 at 18:11:39 (PST)


Johnny Seizure Chords Hollywood ran away from the crack whore he once loved and went to live in Eves car
where no one could find him
he had hope
Well anyway they did find him
for he had no invisible shields to hid behind and there he was basking in the December sun one grey morning when the son of a bitch served him with the papers
His lovely crack whore who he loved and trusted was sueing Johnny Hollywood for breach of promise.
It seems he promised her the universe and she wanted the title to it stat,like right now-ski.

"What goes up must come down" said the man with the dreaded court papers.
-------------
;;;;;;;;;;;;
- Saturday, December 13, 2003 at 17:59:05 (PST)


Johnny Hollywood found the blondest reporter at the
"Z" is a Naget day parade and told the biggest lies he could think of to her in hopes to move in with her and clean out her fridge and maybe get some free drinks out of the deal if things went well.
She was very receptive to his bamboozelment
to the point that he began to consider breeding with the blue eyed super model.

"How long have you known "Z"?" Asked the very attractive reporter.

"Oh I remember when "Z" was just a little shit
always on its way to the School of Nagetism
every morning before the sun would come up,He was always so quiet,would'nt even hurt a goldfish"
Johnny Hollywood told the beautiful blonde as he poured her another,and began to come up with a plan to some how get a plate of spell-getti out of this too.
-------------
::::
- Saturday, December 13, 2003 at 17:48:45 (PST)


At the awards banquit "Z" was presented by the Leader of the C.T.L.M.U. with an award for his generic nagetism and another award for overall general nagetism and still another award for bieng a naget above and beyond the call of duty.

"Speech Speech!"
"Z's" fans called out.
-------------
::::::::::::::
- Saturday, December 13, 2003 at 17:34:50 (PST)


"Z" had five hundred tee shirts made that said on the front of them "Z is a Naget" and on the back of them it had a picture of the back of a mule covered with herpe sores, And there "Z" was handing these tee shirts out to the crowd that had
gathered for Johnny Hollywoods lynch party.

When all the very costly tee shirts were gone
"Z" went into the parking lot to place the "Z is a Naget" bumper stickers on each and every car there.

At first things were going fine but after about two hundred cars were bumper stickered by Z itself "Z" then found one of his tee shirts that someone had wiped thier ass on and Z then became depressed
so depressed that he was unable to continue to hold the office of Chief Naget and his followers began to turn elsewhere for the Nagetism they expected from "Z"

Some joined the cult of Nagetism in the name of Micheal Jackson and others began to listen to Liberace
and watch the movie Clueless because of its ties with "spartagus" over and over until the Cross Threaded Lesbain Mafia Union found out and sent the Cross Threaded Hit Squad in to rough them up and collect the dues owed to the aforementioned Cross Threaded Lesbian Mafia Union and its fearless leader
who was squandering away a good part of the C.T.L.M.U.'s funds on a unessicasary crew cut each tuesday afternoon because Tuesday was Ladies night
at the C.T.L.M.U. hall and bingo dance smack down party.

"Alright then, You get down off the Nagety cross."
Said the C.T.L.M.U.'s two meanest bouncers as they forced "Z" off the cross made partly of whale meat and into the sand as the tide rolled out pulling "Z" with it.
The Leader of the C.T.L.M.U. then backed the Lincoln up to "Z" and had the newly appointed first lady of Nagetism toss the "Z-ster" into the trunk and drove off into the Nagety night.

"Where are you taking his Z-ness?" asked the little fish.

"Z" woke up in a warehouse walking funny,but his Z-ness was walking funny before he went sleepy night nights so that don't mean a thing.

During "Z's" long walk back to civalization
he happened to find Johnny Hollywood struming one of his favorite six strings underneath the balcony of Johnny Hollywood's muse slash inspiration and thought to himself
If I (the Z-Ster) could jam I would not need nagetism
but it was to late for his Z-ness he was destined to be the naget and now he lost his Nagety crown to the C.T.L.M.U.leader and she was a tough cookie.
No doubtfire about it.

So the infamous Z trudged onward back to the foresaken union hall of Cross Threadedness to try once more to take back his throne.

Had he known that at that very moment Johnny Hollywood was working on an ambush attack against the Hall of Cross Threadedness, Maybe he could have joined forces
to overpower the C.T.L.M.U. and save the honor and good name of the Cat Box and everyone could have lived happily ever after.

The End

-------------
:::::::::::::::::
- Saturday, December 13, 2003 at 14:09:26 (PST)


Wonder what it tastes like?

oh still naget.

-------------
Z
- Saturday, December 13, 2003 at 11:37:52 (PST)


Keiko
R.I.P.

You're REALLY free now, Willy
I loved you!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!
-------------
Eve
- Saturday, December 13, 2003 at 10:11:04 (PST)


Wohoo still naget.


-------------
Z
- Saturday, December 13, 2003 at 02:40:56 (PST)


sand in the cameras

Stop it Johnny Hollywood
you are a poet
and your fans are broker than you
said the luney toons fat ugly bitch
-------------
:::
- Saturday, December 13, 2003 at 01:05:26 (PST)


Edward Lowe opened the bible to the part about the bottomless pit and explained to Johnny Hollywood that God in fact wanted it to be like this because of the beatles.

Johnny Hollywood called Doctor Gail and told her he found Charlie Manson.

Gail told Johnny Hollywood to look for Jimmy Hoffa because none of the Mansons were missing ,not Charlie not Axel not sexy sadie not shurely and not even Marlyn.

Johnny Hollywood told Dr. Gail he would do the union jokes from here on out.
-------------
###########
- Saturday, December 13, 2003 at 00:53:41 (PST)


Johnny Hollywood carried his brief case full of blues into the office of Mr. Edward Lowe
and explained to the man himself that the project would be closer to bieng complete
if they together introduced plumbing to the cat box world bringing the Cat Box and its followers out of the dark ages of the Cat Box.
shure there still would be people living with a
foot and a half by two foot sand box slash shitpile
in thier living spaces
but they would become the hillbillies of Cat Boxism
sorta like the people of West Virginia who still had out houses.

Johnny Hollywood went on to explain that he would drop the series of law suits he had pending against Edward Lowe and his unfinished Cat Box invention
if only they could work together on project "Cat Box Plumbing" and Johnny Hollywood then show the home movie of him and the lovely Tina and rewound it over and over again to the part where she said
"O.K. You can lick my Cat Box clean"
although the "Hocker in it and its good to go method"
did not apply here and none of this had any thing to do with the homemade plumbing the man from the fish store made for all of his tanks, it shure made Edward Lowe happy to hear about a series of fish tanks all hooked up together and he was really happy about converting this to cat boxes and could picture twenty five cat boxes all tied together in a series of cat box plumbing experiments all over an entire room.

"Now all we gotta do is get the government to give us a grant to further develop the cat box" Johnny Hollyweed told Edward Lowe.

This seemed like the wrong thang to say to a man of Edward Lowes great importance
and to insinuate that the Greatest accomplishment the man had ever made
his reason for bieng on this planet (as he put it)
was unfinished was obsurd.

"Ok Crazy Eddie,You sir are in denial here buddy,you invented a box of sand for kittys to shit inside a house,we need to find a way to flush sand and gravel with out it backing up"
Johnny Hollywood told him as he opened another beer
and slammed the hourglass onto Edward Lowes desk shattering it into pieces.

Johnny Hollywood then sat on the luxury office furniture in Mr. Lowe's office and thought about how he would spend the grant monies,Then he telephoned his fiancee to tell her to quit bieng such a jealose cunt and spreading slag about his inspiration
because he was going to marry her if she got a white dress
and not the inspiration
although the inspiration did make him dizzy

then Johnny Hollywood thought even more about how he would spend the grant monies
"Hell Yeah" he said as he rolled the pvc out across the floor of Edward Lowes office.

"Coffee filters"Edward Lowe said as his nurse cut him off and pryed the bottle from his hands.

"The new improved Cat Box pump?" Edward Lowe asked as
he was given a double dose of his Cat Box Meds and tucked in for the night.

That night Edward Lowe dreamed about a big cat box still like sand waste refinery and at the same time

Johnny Hollywood was across town at Marriotts Resedence Inn with a nasty crack whore dreaming about winning the lottery and getting a nice corvette to match the hot little bartenders eyes.

When Johnny Hollywood awoke in the middle of the night his favorite crack whore was pretending that she was'nt trying to rob him
and said she dreamed of a cat box quick sand pit
sorta like the atari game pit fall.

"You just don't understand plumbing" Johnny Hollywood told her as he sucked he middle toe.

Just then Bertha's Mom kicked in the door
and cranked up the flame thrower full blast the party seemed to be over.

Thats when a vision came to Johnny Hollywood
"burn the shit like hitler did the jews"
he thought
"a little shit furnace underneath the main layer of the cat box and kittys like it warm right?"
Johnny Hollywood asked.

"If your gonna get all this cat box grant money wont ya all need asome sorta cat box advisor?" asked the hottest crack whore this side of the mason-dixon line
wondering where the next rock was coming from.

Johnny had the dirty mesikin back the truck full of goats up into the parking lot and let them all lose
"what about a nice goat box for your kitchen?"Edward Lowe asked the crowd that had gathered to see what was going on.
-------------
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
- Saturday, December 13, 2003 at 00:37:34 (PST)


....and if you dose yourself it will make you happy.
-------------
monica
- Saturday, December 13, 2003 at 00:18:22 (PST)


the colon plague has corrupted
the hysteria in the commonplace of the yoo-hoo
disciples.what have you NAY!!!! i will no longer
subdue myself to majestic foreskin surrealism.
cosmically speakin' ...of course, but that doesnt mean
i wont pull the ether.AHH-HAA! hand in the cookie
bell jar!!! and i in CAHOOTS!
-------------
monica
- Saturday, December 13, 2003 at 00:08:51 (PST)


u suck
-------------
Anonymous
- Friday, December 12, 2003 at 23:48:08 (PST)


pity the foo' that loves a KellyCakes
for she's a whore
a whore
a whore
and that's all I'm going to tell you
tonight
-------------
Anonymous
- Friday, December 12, 2003 at 01:28:42 (PST)


oh oh oh oh, wait, wait, wait, im still naget.


-------------
Z
- Thursday, December 11, 2003 at 05:04:18 (PST)


"Where do you think it all went to hell,Johnny Hollywood?" Dr. Gail asked

"Well,I remember getting into the ring,then I think I said something about Micheal Jackson looking like Mary Tyler Moore and the cute Itialian with a light moustache and the short and sassy doo hit me with a chair and I was still singing "the cheese stands alone"
and thru the ouji board I could see Ozzy telling me "The cop bitch from Mundelien has a big 'ol ass but it looked better than her face" Johnny Hollywood reluctiantly told the court reporter.

"No Johnny Hollywood, I think you fucked up
with the fiancee thing"
Said Bertha's mother as she slammed the gavel down.

Johnny Hollywood did'nt know what to do
none of his Judge/man in a dress jokes would work
with Berthas mother precieding.

And when he came out of the coma he did'nt recieve a cross threaded lesbian mafia union purple heart medal like he should have,instead he
-------------
::
- Thursday, December 11, 2003 at 01:03:19 (PST)


"Where do you think it all went to hell,Johnny Hollywood?" Dr. Gail asked

"Well,I remember getting into the ring,then I think I said something about Micheal Jackson looking like Mary Tyler Moore and the cute Itialian with a light moustache and the short and sassy doo hit me with a chair and I was still singing "the cheese stands alone"
and thru the ouji board I could see Ozzy telling me "The cop bitch from Mundelien has a big 'ol ass but it looked better than her face" Johnny Hollywood reluctiantly told the court reporter.

"No Johnny Hollywood, I think you fucked up
with the fiancee thing"
Said Bertha's mother as she slammed the gavel down.

Johnny Hollywood did'nt know what to do
none of his Judge/man in a dress jokes would work
with Berthas mother precieding.

And when he came out of the coma he did'nt recieve a cross threaded lesbian mafia union purple heart medal like he should have,instead he
-------------
::
- Thursday, December 11, 2003 at 01:03:17 (PST)


you suck,even though its not spell-getti

Johnny Hollywood did'nt remember trying to jump the grand canyon and he did'nt remember thinking he was Evil Knivel
but every bone in his body was broke and the Cross Threaded Lesbian Mafia Union was sueing him
for all he had (which was pretty much three pictures of his very favorite sandwich making super model
that he hid in his left shoe)

"and if that was'nt bad enough
he had to be rescued by the flight for life and flown to the finest hospital in Arkansas where they made him watch two hundred episodes of love boat as part of his rehabilatation


"I don't think Elvis did it that way,pictures he hid in his shoe so they could'nt get it" Said Johnny Hollywoods boring accountant who only needed a small amount of dental work
-------------
::::::::
- Wednesday, December 10, 2003 at 23:41:57 (PST)


Johnny Hollywood walked into the ring
after watching man on the moon once to many times
and thought he was going to be knighted
by the grand pooh baah of the
legendary Union of the Cross Threaded Lesbian Mafia's Leader who was sportin' a fine crew cut on that fine day.

"Holy bidets batman,Get outta the ring,Bastard Johnny
or my plan to tease you to death will surely fail" said the bait and switch bleach blonde midget mail order bride who was half way cute,

But as fate would have it,It was half past to late and the entire Cross Threaded Lesbian Mafia's Defensive Team got into the ring (all twenty-five of them)
ready to tag team wrastle Johnny Hollywood to death.

As soon as Johnny Hollywoods head hit the post he drifted into nightmare land and there he was with his life passing before his eyes
starting with the time Dr. Gail had him hanging upside down by the lugnuts numbers one and two
and as soon as roll call was over
she would not let him go until he wrote pages and pages of light house poetry
followed by a nice candle light dinner on the beach
and then stories of Anne Frank and the classic bedtime stories of "Golda and the 3 bears","Golda and the 3 little pigs","Golda and the big bad wolf",Golda and the red nosed drunken reindeer",and finally "Golda and the two stone soup".

When Johnny woke up he was in the court of the Cross Threaded Lesbian's and guess who the jury was?
yes thats right the entire smack down defensive team.

It seemed like his attorney was on the other side
opening with a short story about how Johnny Hollywood was somehow working out for the freckle counting event the wrong way and telling about the only weights Johnny had been lifting was bottles of beer
but turned it all around explaining that the excelent
red head was a half a sipper when some of the regular trailer park women Johnny had asked out when they where five months pregenet were in fact a case and a halfers meaning only that this would be the amount of beer it would take for that freckle counting to commence.

On the third day of the match Johnny Hollywood was sorry that he ever fucked with the unrulely tribe of Cross Threaded Lesbians and called the escort service to see if the could send over a stupid canadian shit for brains bimbo to hand out apology hall mark cards
at the union meeting,and if Johnny Hollywood knew she just dumped all the cards into the collection plate
the Canadian would have never been reinbursed for the
cost of the cards.
-------------
:::::::::::::
- Wednesday, December 10, 2003 at 23:11:48 (PST)


If you even look at my KellyCakes
I'm gonna rip your fucking uterus out
and remove that mole on your left breast with it.

-------------
::::::::::::::
- Wednesday, December 10, 2003 at 22:29:59 (PST)


Johnny Hollywood took the typed refrences from three beautiful bisexual ladies and one from the minister of the local babtist church down to the home office of the Cross Threaded Lesbian Mafia Union and asked the Cross Threaded Defensive Team to forgive him for the sins he had committed against them.

He was neither knighted nor asked to show them his best Jesus Christ pose.

-------------
Anonymous
- Wednesday, December 10, 2003 at 18:12:01 (PST)


I'd like to decant from you
the juice of your lips
roaming hands
and the seriously beautiful
bridge of your nose
shove in a cray-pas sunset or two
to drink to you

to drink you in
-------------
Eve
- Wednesday, December 10, 2003 at 17:02:43 (PST)


i fucked your kelly cakes, man
-------------
Anonymous
- Tuesday, December 09, 2003 at 23:38:39 (PST)


moo?
-------------
Anonymous
- Tuesday, December 09, 2003 at 22:00:33 (PST)


This one beauty I can save
he said as he fell off the edge of the flat earth
all the world is a wasted page

God let him be misunderstood

he alone knew she was good

This one I can save
he said as he lost himself

this one will be my slave
he dreamed her on a shelf
this one is worth it
the time the trouble
the beating of the heart
this one I can save
he thought as he was cast into hell

yes Tina we are still even
always


-------------
Anonymous
- Tuesday, December 09, 2003 at 20:00:15 (PST)


With only rain at the cross roads
no smiles
no blonde pony tails
no spell-getti
and you ask me for poetr y?
-------------
::: :::
- Tuesday, December 09, 2003 at 19:13:50 (PST)


silly girl did waste a lot of time
but there was always the open displays of jealosy
and me thinks you love me
and you know I do too
love you
we can still play the mind games you need to exist
or you could wait thirty years for you next kiss
the dead are no reason to die
when there really is so much to life
-------------
:: : ::
- Tuesday, December 09, 2003 at 14:10:09 (PST)


Johnny Hollywood got a good look at harpo marx
the bait and switch mail order bride slash award winning landscaper and decided right then
that suicide was the only answer
"No Johnny Hollywood you don't gotta do her"
said Box Car Jew Ass
"Shes just gonna put some more sod down around the coach house so the lip stick lesbians quit complaining and starting shit with the lord of the bulldykes at the Cross Threaded Lesbian Mafia Unions Rodeo every Saturday
the recently microchipped pets
"Our Lady of urine samples" and Mr. Pooh Pooh"
chewed up the straight jackets we had made especially for Edward Lowes Christmas Pagent.

"well They aint no Outhouses made by Dodge,so I ain't gotta go" said Box Car Jew A ss
-------------
:::::::::::
- Tuesday, December 09, 2003 at 03:43:13 (PST)


After the entire Cross Threaded Lesbian Mafia Union's Defensive Team trampled Johnny Hollywood
The Cross Threaded Lesbian Mafia Foot Massage began
and he remembered reading in the brochure that the walking on the back part of the hour was suppose to be by a bare foot skinny no ass asian babe and not the entire Cross Threaded Lesbian Mafia Union defense
so he thought maybe there was a lawsuit here somewhere
and so he asked his lovely wife "Olivia's" driver to shave the monkeys before take off to the liquor store
just in case the Cross Threaded Lesbian Mafia Unions attorney had his photogragher out in the woods today
since no one ever heard him say roll em'
most of the bar thought he was a mute.
-------------
::: :::
- Tuesday, December 09, 2003 at 03:32:25 (PST)


Wearing the Groucho shades and moustache disguise Johnny Hollywood backed the mint condition blood red "Studebaker Hawk" up to the float he was to pull in the Cross Threaded Lesbian Mafia Unions Mental Patient Day Parade this coming Sunday.

His diabical plan was to get as close to the red head as he could during the Mental Paient festivities
and then somehow sneak off with her and get this freckle counting done and over with
once and for all,unless someone demanded a recount.
-------------
:::::::::::::: :::::::::::::
- Monday, December 08, 2003 at 23:07:56 (PST)


Only love could be in the way
within reason there is hope
the burning of the violins
past the lack of film
inside the book
there should have been a garden
upon my cross
all I have from you
the past
tomorrow so far away
-------------
Travis Ray Cole
- Monday, December 08, 2003 at 20:45:55 (PST)


maybe god was from the south where they hate unions
but that would'nt explain the hatred for the landscapin g.
-------------
..... . . . . . . .
- Monday, December 08, 2003 at 20:11:02 (PST)


That flashing tie was a riot!
And what was that other remark that you made?
Oh yes, you’re unemployed.
Me too. I know what you mean
Someone began to discuss paranoia
When lightning destroyed half the room
With one blast
The last of us killed off the wine
And went home
Needless to say, the party broke up
-------------
Anonymous
- Monday, December 08, 2003 at 19:58:27 (PST)


dexterous feet scare the crappola out of me
but yah
i still love you anyway
-------------
Anonymous
- Monday, December 08, 2003 at 18:19:39 (PST)


and u know what, tihi, im still nage t.


-------------
Z
- Monday, December 08, 2003 at 12:30:36 (PST)


oh how i love thee, let me count the ways.
one...
um, one...uh, um. erm.
-------------
Anonymous
- Monday, December 08, 2003 at 12:00:33 (PST)


the narrator has got to go

-------------
Anonymous
- Monday, December 08, 2003 at 10:37:06 (PST)


its time to choose the fairest maiden in the land
and go out and kill the landscaping for the lord
kill the trees kill the trees
the history books never say why
we want to sacrafice the horticulture
but I think its because God was in the landscapers union at one time
and they must have cheated him
out of something
like my Daddy got cheated out of two years in the teamsters union when it was time
to reap what he has sown

but you all know how it goes
I'm a man and am still wrong
-------------
....
- Monday, December 08, 2003 at 10:35:59 (PST)


AH! YE BASTARDS! HOW I'VE MISSED THEE!!!WOOT WOOT! y'all remain the same, you bertha poet, Eve, Pretynd, Jane, Needles n Pins, Johnny writes-a-lot, and the rest of you jerks. Ahhh i love you guys. and rock on anony mouses!
-------------
Anonymous
- Monday, December 08, 2003 at 02:46:12 (PST)


your guitar may have something to tell me, but my drums gots a big whompin commin your way, you cum-dumpster, you!
-------------
Anonymous
- Monday, December 08, 2003 at 02:39:14 (PST)


LISTEN CAREFULLY.
the advice you give on to others
is always the underbelly
of your own truth in denial.
learning how to fuck it in the ass
is only nine tenths of the law.
THATS ALL FOLKS!!!!!
-------------
monica
- Monday, December 08, 2003 at 00:30:21 (PST)


im sorry that came off wrong.
it wasnt the butler it was SUSSUDIO
im really shitty with faces but i always
remember a name.
which one of the latter
are you?
it doesnt matter
LET THEM BLEED.
billy dont lose my number.
-------------
monica
- Sunday, December 07, 2003 at 23:23:43 (PST)


my guitar has something to tell you

-------------
Anonymous
- Sunday, December 07, 2003 at 23:10:27 (PST)


so i guess this means your not
going to tip the butt-ler.
-------------
monica
- Sunday, December 07, 2003 at 23:02:58 (PST)


happy bertha day to ya all
-------------
Anonymous
- Sunday, December 07, 2003 at 10:25:54 (PST)


I really need to stop
going out to the mexican resturant
and kissing the waitors
but they are such good dancers
whats a girl to do?
-------------
Pretynd
- Sunday, December 07, 2003 at 07:26:26 (PST)


you make me thirsty

How your first name holds all of my last name
your blonde pony tail
your beautiful eyes
thru the lenses I can see
your the reason they call it Fox Lake
-------------
::::::::
- Saturday, December 06, 2003 at 19:59:27 (PST)


Here I am
This new life
Doing what I have to do
responsible
The pull from the old life
always pulling at me
But I stay the course
doing what I have to do
responsible
Holding myself
to a higher standard
than anyone else
responsible
responisibility
response
re - re - re-
what?
anyway,
responsible
You know,
I used to be totally irresponisible
It was fun
the whole time
That's why I did it
It made me laugh
anyway,
Responsible
That's who I am now
dig it


-------------
PJ
- Saturday, December 06, 2003 at 12:46:25 (PST)


Be the change that you want to see in the world


-------------
Z
- Saturday, December 06, 2003 at 05:13:55 (PST)


great hugs baby
-------------
Anonymous
- Friday, December 05, 2003 at 21:54:23 (PST)


is there any way to get thru to you
-------------
Anonymous
- Friday, December 05, 2003 at 17:44:33 (PST)


it doesnt matter if you dont care
if you choose a road that will only take you
nowhere

it doesnt matter here or there
if you wanted something
we could share

in your eyes i see
another lost dream
is all time wasted
leaving my heart my mind soul
free
-------------
:::::::
- Friday, December 05, 2003 at 17:37:26 (PST)


and its cold in the winter time
-------------
Anonymous
- Friday, December 05, 2003 at 17:32:06 (PST)


tihi im naget again


-------------
Z
- Friday, December 05, 2003 at 14:04:29 (PST)


WINNER WINNER WINNER

Miss December 2003

Jessica K.


-------------
::::::::::::
- Friday, December 05, 2003 at 10:08:38 (PST)


I am a seer and I saw
you standing there
waiting for me
to show you
how much i care
even though
self-destruction
has set in
and now I
am not feeling
so good
but I am
hopeful
you will
tell me why
you are here
is it to make
me cry because
if it is then
you should know
my eyes are dry

-------------
Anonymous
- Thursday, December 04, 2003 at 18:22:23 (PST)


instanly i met u and knew something was diffrent
for a moment i lost my footing
my legs were jelly
my mind reeling
your eyes serched over my body
my eyes looked over yours
a smile slowly played over your sweet sweet face
i think one came over mine to
i couldnt help it, u did something to me
damn u, how could u, now i know i will have feelings you
something about the way u moved and felt as u walked beside me,
damn it, god fucking damn it, i knew it, u were wonderful, the person i wanted, i looked and looked for something wrong with u, i see the small things but
as your hands laced into mine, and our kiss made me feel faint i knew was right
you are more then i hoped for, better then my dreams,
how could u be, now especially.
im not a good person, nor a good woman, yet u seem to make me feel like a perfect angel
Hold me again, tell me again, tell me sweet things, i hope someday u will mean u love me.
-------------
Lessa Rose
- Thursday, December 04, 2003 at 16:38:33 (PST)


I went inside my mind tonight
and the walls are all covered
with everything but delight
there are layers upon themselves
eventually meshing into one
big mess hovering over my bed
and inside there are the elves
feeding keeblers to my head

-------------
Anonymous
- Thursday, December 04, 2003 at 16:10:24 (PST)


Truth

People believe what they want
even after they experience
what it is they believe but
the only difference for them
after they have experienced
something they believed, which
was wrong to begin with and the
experience proved that well, was
that they could not change their
mind about the belief versus the
-------------
Anonymous
- Thursday, December 04, 2003 at 15:58:24 (PST)


Disturbed

my eyes are dialated
my heart beats fast
sweat pours out my hands
while my body shakes
my mind hopes it won't last
this takeover of me that you
perform in an attempt to make me


-------------
Anonymous
- Thursday, December 04, 2003 at 15:46:16 (PST)


Place

from the first time I set my eyes on you
I could tell you were the one not to be
it was to be you but that's not the case
so from that time on I looked all over the
-------------
Anonymous
- Thursday, December 04, 2003 at 15:39:24 (PST)


music= medicine

give me your instant sleep
-------------
Eve
- Thursday, December 04, 2003 at 12:58:32 (PST)


travis......I am in need of some new love poetry....c'mon...and give me whatcha got....
-------------
Anonymous
- Thursday, December 04, 2003 at 10:15:11 (PST)


true love, lasting only but a minute
lost in the depths of lust for eternity
having thought i found my one true love
only to find out his hidden paternity...

-------------
Joy Stick
- Wednesday, December 03, 2003 at 22:17:11 (PST)


there's nobody like him
not even could you try
no-one can ever be him
no matter how hard they try
never will you find solace
in trying to become him
for his life is exclusively
for him

-------------
Anonymous
- Wednesday, December 03, 2003 at 19:10:54 (PST)


Dues are paid

I am not going to let this go
even if my response time is slow
because I know I have the flow
soon you will see my word show
then for sure you too will know
that my tongue is a mere bow
aiming everywhere but at your toe
but this time it could be low
depending on where you stow your keys
so please don't mind my tease
and no I won't freeze but I might sneeze
into a weeze while waving my hands
like I was shoeing bees but also climbing trees
and then jumping to my knees yelling geez louise
hoping that my stomach would settle and the queeze would stop me from waiting for you out in the cold breeze only to get bit by fleas and I had to pay fees

-------------
Anonymous
- Wednesday, December 03, 2003 at 18:02:57 (PST)


I think I get it now
cause everytime it
happens something
else follows along
It wouldn't be so bad
if the aftermath itself
wasn't bad but that it
is is all that I know
and so you can continue
to let it flow cause I
intend to let it happen
-------------
Anonymous
- Wednesday, December 03, 2003 at 17:46:30 (PST)


confusion resides in my mind
hatred lives in my eyes
and so that jealousy was
included, it squeezed out
all the blood from my veins
and then began to inhabit
now my heart is filled with
poison and it has robbed me
of my once sincere passion
-------------
Anonymous
- Wednesday, December 03, 2003 at 17:41:41 (PST)


Already I am a bit more towards ease
even though I have not said a thing
and so I guess its just the notion
that pretty soon I will be free
from the powers that reside over me
now don't get me wrong for I am in love
with these powers but what I'm in love with
does not yet exist for he is only he until
he reaches out to me without the help of the spel l
-------------
Anonymous
- Wednesday, December 03, 2003 at 17:30:11 (PST)


I ought to ahh you with my waa waa pedal
why? --because I am so good at it but
I think instead I will just stare at you
and manage to, without difficulty,
not bat an eyelid or move my eyeball
sorry my response time is not as fast today
its due to the fact that I have been too
damn busy singing "I'm so hot for her but
she's so cold". It's all I can do to get
me through this current obstacle with the tap.
So once again I am will to stare or let you out
its your choice...

-------------
Anonymous
- Wednesday, December 03, 2003 at 16:02:28 (PST)



Turning fate, which one is
worse
to fall backward forward
or in reverse?
A sadness now so
unrehearsed
Your tenderness has left
me cursed.
A broken dream, deflated
Burst
Our second rate has become
my first
With nothing able to quench
my thirst
but you


-------------
Pretynd
- Tuesday, December 02, 2003 at 23:04:00 (PST)


I haven't thought about you in a long time
the notion that you exist just blows my mind
if you came through and touched them to get to me
then what is the message that you brought forth today
your name was said and like water gushing out of a barrel that had fallen, my memories with you did the same but only inside my mind and so not once did the tears cloud my eyes and make me momentarily blind. So what is it that you want with little ol' me?
-------------
Anonymous
- Tuesday, December 02, 2003 at 16:05:33 (PST)


There are only three ways to describe
what I have been trying to hide
over the years I too have lied
In order not to say goodbye
and so that I would not cry
from all of what I did deny
my oh my just what have i become
I feel so aweful for now being so numb
It's not that I am stupid or even dumb
but I should have known you wouldn't come
come to think of it why would you
step inside what I hide and then deny
to the public eye about you and I
and that we ran out of the same time
as this rhyme but it managed to keep alive
not even knowing that you and I stood still
for an eternity still yet to come to us
not even by bus could I make it real
you wanted to feel but just not with me
is that what you wanted my eyes to see
your raw emotions trying to break free or flee
the wind tried to play tea for two with the willow
only you said coffee and I said overnight
love did bite that lepoard and made it deaf

-------------
Anonymous
- Tuesday, December 02, 2003 at 15:57:07 (PST)


Um, Ok OW!
This Hurts
I mean I expected it to and all
But could you make it stop
anyway?
Pretty please with a hint
of forever on top?
-------------
Pretynd
- Monday, December 01, 2003 at 05:27:38 (PST)


"johnny Hollywood,I wanna talk to you,Should'nt Tina win the contest?"Asked God as he filled the bowl and flushed it.

Johnny Hollywood knew the evil Cross Threaded Lesbian Mafia Union was behind this and he could see right thru they're diabolical plot to get a bull dyke in the running.

"I will choose the best I will not sell out" Johnny Hollywood told the devil girl at the cross roads

He knew it would get worse before it got better there would be angel wings and bunny tails
and maybe the best answer would be to run off with a nice curly haired girl and alope in her sweetness he would be intoxicated and in her warmth he would live
away from the dangers of the desiel dyke death squad
away from the heffer dues that have been paid many times over without a bag to get sick in.
Maybe God was right
Hell no Johnny Hollywoods navigational system went into red alert he did indeed need a brand new Corvette dark brown to match her eyes
to him she was every line in the song
and there was no other.

Enter the lovely contesta nts
-------------
... . . .... . .
- Wednesday, November 26, 2003 at 12:34:39 (PST)


a mosh pit broke out in front of the judges table and Johnny Hollywood was trampled by the biggest ugliest woman that could be considered a woman or cattle
both catagories were now open to her
and Johnny Hollywood knew it would be miss 2003 to win the last month of the year
"what could stop that?" he asked himself
there is none greater today tomorrow yesterday
its not that the contest was fixed or his heart was set on "HOT"
It was really another one you could blame God for
because this was a beauty unmatched
no contest is a phrase that comes to mind
along with the word "everything"
All the spell-getti in the world could'nt make it any different.
-------------
;;;;;;;;;;; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;;;;;;;;;
- Wednesday, November 26, 2003 at 12:20:55 (PST)


"Whats Gone So Wrong With My Crack Whore's Heart"

Whats gone so wrong with my Crack Whores heart
she tore up my tommorrow
and ran off with a narc
I told her that I love her
for a minute I think she'ld believed
I told her I lovvvve her
she said she don't love me
but she brought me some spell-getti
and thats really all I need

Whats gone wrong with my crack whores heart
tell me whats gone wrong inside my crack whores heart
I think I could have loved her
even made her love me
but I ain't got time for cold razor blade apathy
so could you please play Alice Coopers "Only Women Bleed" one time for me?

Whats gone wrong with my crack whores heart?
whats gone wrong with my crack whores heart?
she said she wanted to borrow
I told her get a white wedding dress
and then call me

Theres something wrong
something fucking with me
I tell you theres something wrong
I believe
Theres something wrong with my crack whore
maybe her heart don't beat

gives me the blues
-------------
J.F.N.Hollywood
- Wednesday, November 26, 2003 at 11:06:34 (PST)


"No Other Crack Whore Blues"

Well,theres no other
theres no other crack whore for me
You are the only one I'll ever need
no theres no other
no other crack whore for me
They shoulda named you summer cause when its freezing you still cause me to overheat
thats why I say
Theres no other
no other crack whore for me
no theres no other
no other crack whore for me
and I don't care about nothing
except getting you next to me

-------------
Johnny F.N. Hollywood
- Wednesday, November 26, 2003 at 10:50:41 (PST)


"More Of Them Ol'Crack Whore Blues"

I wanna milk my crack whore in the morning
to save a few bucks here and there

I wanna milk my crack whore in the morning
to save a couple a bucks here and there

I'm saving up all my money
gonna have her mole removed
it don't taste that good

You know I've come to love her
and I don't care if I should

I wanna milk my crack whore every morning
and drink her milk in the box elder coffee

I wanna milk my crack whore every morning
that way I want need no sugar in the coffee

Yeah,I'm saving up all my money
gonna have that mole removed

you know there ain't no other
I don't think there ever could
-------------
J.F.N.Hollywood
- Wednesday, November 26, 2003 at 10:44:31 (PST)


"Johnny Hollywood always helps little old ladies across the street,why one time I seen him do it in a hurricaine" Box Car Jesus told the train conductor to distract him while Harpo Marx (The Award Winning Landscaper)snuck past him onto the train.

"An he like the fat ladies too,I hope they put him to sleep!"Bertha's Mom told it like it was.
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:::::::::: :::::::::::
- Wednesday, November 26, 2003 at 06:55:14 (PST)


there got to be a trailer park big enough for us all

Gail was spittin' mad
she threw the lighthouse chess pieces across the desk made from an old door and stopped polishing the automatic weapon

"Theres something wrong with people who put money on themselves Johnny Francis Nicolas Hollywood" She cried right before she began licking the money as she logged his healing adventure into the report and faxed a copy to both of his exwive's caseworkers in a timely fashion.

Johnny Hollywood did'nt really give a censorshit though cause he knew the old slut just wanted to bitch about something and would even go to the extent of using her high flautin doctorin' school education as an excuse to drain the tube that bleeds the burritto juice into the cat box and down onto Johnny Hollywoods premeditated parade ragski like.

"I Knew this bitch was nowhere" Johnny Hollywood said as he tried to stop thinking about why he told his landscaper "Harpo Marx" to go ahead with her plan to build a new desk for Gail made out of old broken guitars.

Meanwhile the Evil Wicked Cross Threaded Lesbian Mafia Union hall was packed,it was standing room only on this holy night we call St. Garbage Day
and in the middle of the room controling the slide machine was Bertha the original

"She must have been brain washed" Said Johnny Hollywood.

The leader of the C.T.L.M.U. was giving her usual speech about how Johnny must die then she showed the slides again and told her theory on how Johnny Hollywood was after Olivia's stunt double "Tina"
and then the high leader of lesbianism then was
heard saying "I bet that nogood Hollywood was using his old line again I hate it I just hate it,
"If its twenty bucks to fuck how much is it to get married" then the next thing you know they aloped and he never was the same again always tring to cure her with the magnets duct taping them to her head, taking her microchip out and flushing it and just causeing it to overload as another one of his il attempts at humour.

"Why Johnny Hollywood fucked up that day, he shoulda choose the other one but NOOOOOO !!! Box Car Jesus said to the first luientiunt of the S.S. CAT BOX PIZZA BOAT

"All about the spell-getti,it don't mean no thang"
said the twelve pack and shes do-able nun

Johnny Hollywood still did'nt care he knew he would just sneak away in the middle of the night and find something more reasonable in the cross roads next time

"Cat Box Cat Box" the mentally ill second guitarist chanted then he turned the gene simmons signature ibenaz guitar over and started counting beans on the back of it

Johnny Hollywood just looked to the heavans and hoped more pussy would call him.

he practiced the things he might say if it ever did



Johnny Hollywood woke up stoned and stupid
-------------
.. .. .. .. .. .. .. ..
- Tuesday, November 25, 2003 at 06:13:45 (PST)


"The Crack Whore Blues"

E
The D.C.F.S. has taken my crack whore's babies

A
The D.C.F.S has taken my crack whore's babies

E
Thats O.K. sometimes

B7 A E7sus9th B7
'cause those little bastard's cost a lot to feed

(The seven crack whore solo's)

E
The D.C.F.S. has taken my crack whore's babies

A
The D.C.F.S has taken my crack whore's babies

E
Thats O.K. sometimes

B7 A E7sus9th B7
long as they don't take her away from me
-------------
Mr. Johnny Hollywood... . .. . .
- Monday, November 24, 2003 at 13:57:03 (PST)


stand back away from the cat box


if the crack whore thought two lines of thought at the same time
the government issue microchip would not pick up
the underlayer of thought and only the main thought
and therefore could not transmit the second layer of thought to the thought reciever wether it was a base station thought reciever or a mobile thought reciever on board another humans brain.

so the hot crack whore could keep herself entertained whilst Johnny Hollywood sweated on her softness

but he could not be complete unless the lovely crack whore was robbing him in the act of romance
but this unfortunatly became to costly and with the cut backs in production costs he had to substitute the real mula with a single wrapped around newspaper in a sting like fashion when the love making would commence so she (the very lovely crack whore) would have something to do to occupie her time until Johnny Hollywood said I love you and planted the demonseed so far in the cat box it would come out until easter
it seemed weird
at first rubbing the navigational system
with money that was coated with uncut coke yes ladies it was uncircumcised too
he only wanted the pain to go away so he listened to the danicing lesson on the frank zappa tape and
still to this day
Johnny Hollywood was'nt shure if the Tina sores were worth that little bit of spell-getti but he bought he flowers at the gas station anyway and gave them to a hot little mesikin by mistake
-------------
.... .2
- Monday, November 24, 2003 at 08:15:11 (PST)


stand back away from the cat box


if the crack whore thought two lines of thought at the same time
the government issue microchip would not pick up
the underlayer of thought and only the main thought
and therefore could not transmit the second layer of thought to the thought reciever wether it was a base station thought reciever or a mobile thought reciever on board another humans brain.

so the hot crack whore could keep herself entertained whilst Johnny Hollywood sweated on her softness

but he could not be complete unless the lovely crack whore was robbing him in the act of romance
but this unfortunatly became to costly and with the cut backs in production costs he had to substitute the real mula with a single wrapped around newspaper in a sting like fashion when the love making would commence so she (the very lovely crack whore) would have something to do to occupie her time until Johnny Hollywood said I love you and planted the demonseed so far in the cat box it would come out until easter
kumbia
-------------
.... .
- Monday, November 24, 2003 at 08:08:38 (PST)


And yes, im still naget


-------------
Z
- Sunday, November 23, 2003 at 05:15:57 (PST)


kiss me
Oh, my god

kiss me
kiss me
kiss me
kiss me
kiss me
-------------
that's all I feel like saying when you're around
- Friday, November 21, 2003 at 20:37:13 (PST)


I can cure this one that feels most excelent
-------------
Anonymous
- Friday, November 21, 2003 at 13:14:46 (PST)


wont you let me check your cat box Tina
your the one I wanna believe in ahhh
your the only one

the only one


I want and need yeah
this is true


see ya
-------------
Anonymous
- Friday, November 21, 2003 at 09:06:57 (PST)


oh, shut the fuck up
-------------
Anonymous
- Thursday, November 20, 2003 at 16:26:43 (PST)


that could mean a lot of things
so you need to explain yourself
a little more than what you have
-------------
Anonymous
- Thursday, November 20, 2003 at 13:10:44 (PST)


it isn't me its you
-------------
Anonymous
- Thursday, November 20, 2003 at 05:22:21 (PST)


what is going on?

seems the world is experiencing strange days
so much so that it has spun itself out of control
and now looks to you for support that is emotional
I guess that must suck for you and so you are probably
wishing it was looking for financial or better yet no kinda support at all....Well, guess again mr leave your light on all night and when I need something I will flicker...no thanks I am tired of getting screwed
by screws of black and you in my sack...is that what you think I do not know where you have been especially with your grin mr according to jim and now everyone will know of your hate for the simpsons;~)
-------------
Anonymous
- Wednesday, November 19, 2003 at 18:54:56 (PST)


nobody makes sense anymore
everyone has an insignificant story
the world is coming to an end
and with it, it will take out glory
so for those who may survive
in this new silent world let it
be known now that is what is considered
to be boring
-------------
Anonymous
- Wednesday, November 19, 2003 at 18:44:28 (PST)


Johnny Hollywood's camera's rolled for a week on the crossroads and nothing good past

nothing blonde
-------------
.... . .
- Wednesday, November 19, 2003 at 17:06:25 (PST)


"Oh your great cross threadedness,can I get one bleach blonde anerexic editor to go?" Johnny Hollywood said he was going to ask the heavens.

The cross threaded lesbian mafia union leader had him tied to the rail road tracks and told him he was crazy .
-------------
... . . . . . . . . . . . . . ... . . . . . . . . .
- Wednesday, November 19, 2003 at 17:01:25 (PST)


I can do anything now
and you make me feel
like I always could

there is a comfort here
total trust
and I don't bereave the death of my past

the moment crystalizes
becoming aware of the likenesses
through us
I always knew you were in around among
and everywhere inside me

and I could be perched at your shoulder
at any given moment
I don't mourn my history anymore
just call

just call
just call
-------------
Eve
- Wednesday, November 19, 2003 at 13:11:18 (PST)


The love we have is like
garbage day in the rain

-------------
Seizure Chords
- Wednesday, November 19, 2003 at 05:13:56 (PST)


thank the lord,it was soon Half past the changing of the government issue crack whore and no one even cared
how much the bulldyke massage costed anymore.

"I want my whorecop to be non-sensical and sensual" was the last thing Johnny Hollywood remembered saying before he woke up from the boredom coma in the barbers chair sportin' the "J.F.K." as tardzilla called it
while she rode the knuckles of his playing hand
on the first day of the revolution.

After only a few beers Johnny Hollywood choose against sending the newspaper his kick ass reciepe slash pshycological test involving the vat or kettle of regular thin spell-getti noodles under
the way to hot girl
covered with a thick red sauce
not to hot not to cold
for the whole milk motzerella to flow
He could'nt even think blonde for a week
after just seeing this magical des'sert addiction,
unless he stood in the crossroa ds.
-------------
... . .. . .. . . . . . . . . . . . . .... . . . . . . .
- Tuesday, November 18, 2003 at 08:25:57 (PST)


"I killed you're cat you druggie Bitch!
I thought it would bring closure to our relationship."
~ David Della Rocco
-------------
Pretynd
- Tuesday, November 18, 2003 at 06:05:11 (PST)


"What ever is said is fed back to you
and shoved down your throat
with the echo to the point past parody
mirror of society "lunatic fringe" underground cult
following that is what bores me,
you not reaLLy anne frank
and I really don't care
about any of it
but heres something that intrests me
I really get intoxicated on you
your everything"
-------------
Seizure Chords
- Monday, November 17, 2003 at 14:30:36 (PST)


to hear her voice in my ear
to see the beauty inside her eyes
a smile that tastes like love
without feeling
she could break my heart or mind
inside I will find my way
inside,to her heart
and still her apathy intoxicates me
and my heart knows why I could believe
or not even hear lies
-------------
Anonymous
- Monday, November 17, 2003 at 09:24:15 (PST)


Im still naget tihi


-------------
Z
- Sunday, November 16, 2003 at 12:24:12 (PST)


Here Kitty Kitty Kitty Kitty!
-------------
Anonymous
- Sunday, November 16, 2003 at 03:11:01 (PST)


Im naget tihi


-------------
Z
- Thursday, November 13, 2003 at 12:19:30 (PST)


Skipperlapskovs
3/4 kg oksebov
3-4 store løg
1/2 l vand
2 laurbærblade
1 spsk salt
6-8 hele peberkorn
1 1/2 kg kartofler

Kødet skæres i terninger og løgene hakkes groft. Bring kød, løg og vand i kog, skum omhyggeligt og tilsæt salt, hele peberkorn og laurbærblade og lad det koge i ca. 3/4 time. De skrællede, skiveskårne kartofler tilsættes. Lad det snurre til kødet er mørt og kartoflerne er kogt lidt ud så de jævner retten. Smag retten til med salt og peber. Serveres med klippet purløg, rugbrød, øl - og glem endelige ikke drueagurkerne.

-------------
Z
- Thursday, November 13, 2003 at 12:17:14 (PST)


Macrorestriction map
Map depicting the order of and distance between sites at which restriction enzymes cleave chromosomes.

Malignant (ma-LIG-nant)
Cancerous.

Mammogram (MAM-o-gram)
An x-ray of the breast.

Mapping
See gene mapping, linkage map, physical map.

Marker
A gene with a known location on a chromosome and a clear-cut phenotype, used as a point of reference when mapping a new mutant.

Mb
See megabase.

Megabase (Mb)
Unit of length for DNA fragments equal to 1 million nucleotides and roughly equal to 1 cM.

Meiosis
The doubling of gametic chromosome number. Meiosis results in four rather than two daughter cells, each with a haploid set of chromosomes.

Melanoma
Cancer of the cells that produce pigment in the skin. Melanoma usually begins in a mole.

Messenger RNA (mRNA)
RNA that serves as a template for protein synthesis. (See genetic code.)

Metaphase
A stage in mitosis or meiosis during which the chromosomes are aligned along the equatorial plane of the cell.

Metastasis (meh-TAS-ta-sis)
The spread of cancer from one part of the body to another. Cells in the metastatic (secondary) tumor are like those in the original (primary) tumor.

Missense mutation
A change in the base sequence of a gene that alters or eliminates a protein.

Mitochondrial DNA
The mitochondrial genome consists of a circular DNA duplex, with 5 to 10 copies per organelle.

Mitosis
The process of nuclear division in cells that produces daughter cells that are genetically identical to each other and to the parent cell.

Molecule
A group of atoms arranged to interact in a particular way; one molecule of any substance is the smallest physical unit of that particular substance.

Monoclonal antibodies
Substances that can locate and bind to cancer cells wherever they are in the body. They can be used alone, or they can be used to deliver drugs, toxins, or radioactive material directly to the tumor cells.

MRI
A procedure using a magnet linked to a computer to create pictures of areas inside the body. Also called magnetic resonance imaging.

mRNA
See messenger RNA.

Multifactorial
A characteristic influenced in its expression by many factors, both genetic and environmental.

Mutation
A change in the number, arrangement, or molecular sequence of a gene.

-------------
Z
- Thursday, November 13, 2003 at 12:15:45 (PST)


Johnny Hollywood was drunk and swinging a bottle of Miller brand "beersch" around as he rode on top of a refridgerator in the back of a mostly red Junk Truck down the alley in the Barrio yelling to people up in the windows of the apartments and if they yelled back he would throw a bottle at them
and if the had automatic weapons he would take cover under the appliances.

"Man I told you not to let him eat the weed and the worm" Said senior Box Car Jesus as he whislted his favorite whistles from the clint eastwood spell-getti westerns.

Later that day he woke up puking in a drain again
talking to himself about the Corvette not bieng the exact color of her eyes.

"Jesus made shure of that"said The nice officer as he helped Johnny Hollywood into the shelter he would homestead at until the welfare man suggested he might find a job to go along with the stinking little mattress with lice the soup kitchen let him catch disease from.

Johnny Hollywood woke up on the tennis courts of the Resedence Inn Hotel and looked around at the fancy womens in the white
"I wonder witch one a these babes is my nurse" he said to the ball cleaner.

He looked around
"Nurse,I'm outta champagne"
-------------
... .. .. ... .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. . ... . . . . . .
- Thursday, November 13, 2003 at 06:52:09 (PST)


The deaths brought the Corvettes into the family and Johnny Hollywood needed a Barbie meets Bacaull looking
bitch for the hood of the Corvette love scene he had hoped to finish filming that after noon while the sun was in the right spot so that he could began working on the moonlit Corvette love scenes to follow.
-------------
... . .. ..... .. .. .. . ..
- Thursday, November 13, 2003 at 06:37:13 (PST)


Satan untied her red as hell pony tail
and told Johnny Hollywood he could not officiate his cross roads as the orignal crossroads
even if someday it would be thier meeting place
and even if they had some deal that passed thru those cross roads and even if everyday he prayed to a real blonde in those aforementioned crossroads and even if he did carry the name "Travis" and even if that name was not used in the bible and even if the road goes on forever satans answer would still be No
So he asked her out again and she said shure
then he loaded all the weapons and took a two litter of Dr. Pepper brand soda and a twelve pack of Corona brand "beersch" and his guitar and a blue notebook his lucky pen and a can of pork and beans and a couple of cases of ramien noodles and he got a room at the dive motel and locked himself in "to create" hybernate write something that would make Jessica relate for three days he did not come out and the Goddess of hell removed the stone and cast the spells
could the art live again
Johnny Hollywood found a new crossroads the seek the devil herself
and moving from crossroads to crossroads was one of her favorite tricks

Johnny Hollywood layed on his back and looked at the sun
it seemed like days he need water
he did thirst it was dryer than buttercup after the money was'nt even real
into the sun he saw spots moving stars
more spots like planets

then another eclipse it was moving toward him
it was big
it was larger than life
it was the leader of the cross threaded lesbian mafia union and she was in the air above him

Johnny Hollywoods navigaTional system went into red alert
the signal flashed to his brain
"Abort the Mission,Abort the Mission"
Johnny and his Hollywood heart said red head
and the wrestling match was'nt going as planned
when the leader of the cross threaded lesbian mafia union landed on Johnny Hollywood this time she flattened him like a pancake.

Johnny Hollywood only hoped he would live thru this to collect the money he would win if he did lose
because he bet everything on the C.T.L.M.U.
to win the match but was still going to try to whoop her just because shes a bitch.

"Johnny,You should take into account that shes on the rag,If you were any kind of man you would get a good job with benifits and health insurance before you do anything" Said Berthas Mother

Johnny Hollywood asked Harpo to see if she could locate some discount sanitary napkins on ebay or something for The leader of the C.T.L.M.U.
who Johnny Hollywood has by now nick named "Buttercup":) Hoping to butter up buttercup so she would kill his ass before he got the money.
-------------
........ .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .
- Thursday, November 13, 2003 at 06:33:56 (PST)


Johnny Hollywood tied the dogs to the sliegh and put on the santa hat
"Mush" He yelled and off they went down the frozen trail.

"I guess Johnny Hollywood's crack whore done got gone
and we all gotta pull together at this time of need to help, now, I'm gonna look in the north you might wanna look to the south" Box Car Jesus told the unruley newspaper rep orters.
-------------
... ... ...
- Thursday, November 13, 2003 at 05:07:14 (PST)


"The entire hydroponic system was designed by everyones favorite bait and switch mail order bride "Harpo Marx" the live in landscaper/plumber and is going to recieve an award tonight at the banquit,but Harpo is just learning english and we need a nice Barbie looking honey that can write an acceptance speech" Johnny Hollywood told the escort service over the phone.

"Ya all's plumber looks like Harpo Marx" said Box Car Jesus as he opened the fridge.

"SHHHHHHH,He's on the phone" Said Harpo Marx.

"uh huh,Oh. Yeah O.K. Just send the fat mesikin again then" Said Johnny Hollywood as if he was trying to apoligize.
-------------
... ... ... ... ...
- Thursday, November 13, 2003 at 05:01:37 (PST)


"And the '59 Edsiel?" Gail Said from inside her sleeping bag in her sleep.

"Not many people showed up for this casting call,
Johnny Fuck Her Faster Would,Did you place the same ad,Super Model crack whore that can make spell-getti?"
Asked Harpo Marx as she pruned the watermelon plants
In front of the Hollywood estate as the park ranger pulled up blocking Johnny Hollywoods customized tour bus.

The troll that lived under the bridge ran by naked
everyone just looked at each other and said at the same time
"Does Lori the troll have three breasts,like Budda?

"NOPE THAT WAS HER HAMSTER,But You fellers got be movin' along now,You can only camp here by that thar nuke plant for the fourteen days"
Said the gump sucking forrest ranger as he spit chewing tobacco all over himself.
-------------
.....................
- Thursday, November 13, 2003 at 00:39:36 (PST)


it makes no sense to love you but I do
-------------
Anonymous
- Wednesday, November 12, 2003 at 22:19:08 (PST)


"Knowing You"

Knowing you could erase any pain
I believe

If there was a best feeling in the world,
I would want that to be one I shared with you
and still be your friend.

Although I could care to much by tripping on lust

You would be the one.

Knowing You.
-------------
.... .. ...... .. ...... ..
- Wednesday, November 12, 2003 at 13:40:58 (PST)


"So there I was...
I threw down my sword and knelt before the leader of the Cross Threaded Lesbian Maifa Union
and bow wow wowed
then I vowed not to go sniffin'
round the red head anymore
and did she kill me? No she gave me
yet another chance at the freckle counting mission
I've been on from the start" Johnny Hollywood told Gail as they moved into double overtime.
-------------
........ .. . . . . . . . . . .............
- Wednesday, November 12, 2003 at 13:27:14 (PST)


Gail slammed the clump of clay down on the very large glass chess board that she had etched little litehouses into each and every square.

Johnny Hollywood wearing his new "Bertha Barbie Tshirt starred at the ceiling
He could see the clouds and Jessica's belly botton
then she turned facing him and he could see God.
"God,I was wondering if instead of a nice Gibson S.G. I could just have a Jackson "V"?" Said Johnny Hollywood.

Just then Harpo the live in landscaper burst into Gails Officia and knocked over the fresh pile of pre-used slightly damaged beyond repair in some cases lawn furniture live all the way from Garbage day

"Theres the herb in the puddle" Said Harpo

"Puddle? you mean the fudge puddle truffle cakes?"
asked Johnyy Hollywood wondering if this could now be tied in with the litigation against the "Cat Box" and Edward Lowe the inventor and founder of the Cat Box.
"If we win this case we will change the name of the band to "The Edward Lowe Project" in honor of the man himself.

"No,Johnny she means the guests have again clogged the hot tub with weed,earlier this morning Harpo broke up a party in the Coach House over this same problem"
Said G ail
-------------
.. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. ..
- Wednesday, November 12, 2003 at 12:14:43 (PST)


Someone help me breathe in again
force his air from my lung
Someone help me be clean again
erase the memory of his tongue
You cannot miss
what you cannot remember
such is the nature
of bliss
-------------
Pretynd
- Wednesday, November 12, 2003 at 07:57:11 (PST)


Here Kitty Kitty Kitty Kitty!
-------------
Anonymous
- Wednesday, November 12, 2003 at 06:56:53 (PST)


To see past the brown and green into the memory
with tomorrow to throw away
there is one thing that ties us together
and its not drugs or mon ey

-------------
.
- Tuesday, November 11, 2003 at 03:04:55 (PST)


Tina my Tina
I love you so
Tina hot Tina
I love you though
-------------
Anonymous
- Monday, November 10, 2003 at 19:10:58 (PST)


The retarded groupie was quick to spread the news
Johnny Hollywood this or Johhny Hollywood that
did anyone see what color it was
did he wipe his ass
-------------
..
- Monday, November 10, 2003 at 08:23:39 (PST)


Johnny Hollywood took the burnt microchip out of cupcakes pretty little head and replaced it with one of his one home made high tempature microchips guarented to last longer than marriage
then he found out witch of the landscapers stole the oil funnel Johnny Hollywood had just bought and had the alleged culprit brush his horse long time
before he rode it into town to see the mucho grande senorittas.

Johnny Hollywood got off his horse
and tied it out front of the C.T.L.M.'s Union Hall and Bingo Party's main entrance
when they saw he had
the C.T.L.M.(Cross Threaded Lesbian Mafia)brand
heavy duty bingo chips in his holster
they let him cut to the front of the line.

Once inside the secret lesbian casino and burning goat cheese bar he went straight to the bar and ordered the bulldyke massage and then two desiel dyke massages right afterwards without motzerella and then asked the nice lady with a crew cut if "he could get this here molar filled" and started watching the great pillsbury battle on the radar screen above the stuffed moose.

The lord split the bar into with a bolt of lightening
and the entire congergation fell into an unholy mosh pit that would make your eyes water
then a bust of Ben Franklin fell off the wall and broke into pieces on the floor.

The Lord spoke to Johnny Hollywood
"You will play a Gibson S.G.,Johnny Hollywood
two pick-ups,double cut away,Ratchel red in color"

"This is good news" Said Johnny Hollywood.
"Can I have a Corvette to match Cassie's eyes too?"

God then struck two of the biggest meanest looking bingo hall bouncers dead,one had a goatee and the other almost ready to retire from the C.T.L.M.U. with a full pension,it seemed a shame almost,
that close after all those years she had in.
So anyway, Johnny took that as a sign meaning the answer was NO!
and decieded if he won the lottery he could get one and just have it painted
then he went out to the shed to burn more guitars.

"I'm working on a plan to get "Love boat reruns piped in to the outhouse and your cell" Said Johnny Hollywoods hot whorecop hypnotist.

Johnny Hollywood picked up the gun and blew his fucking brains out all over the plate of breaded mushrooms.Then said "I still love your ass"

Johnny Hollywood woke up from the same dream and puked a big heart shaped vomit lake on the side walk
then it started over
"Over"
click click
"Over"
-------------
.. . .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. . .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .
- Monday, November 10, 2003 at 08:20:59 (PST)


you have not made me cum once
and now, I must bid you
adieu
-------------
Anonymous
- Sunday, November 09, 2003 at 17:58:50 (PST)


crazy girl

crazy girl
do you have to echo every thought
play every role I ever think
until my mind melts
with no corvette to match your eyes
with no roses of any discolor
I guess you know
how I feel
-------------
Anonymous
- Sunday, November 09, 2003 at 05:08:20 (PST)


Hot little Bertha
would ya all be my baby
maybe someday
I'm gonna take you out nice like
for some spell-getti

Hot little Bertha
you's the one I need
wish you'ld quit breaking my heart long enough
so I can


plant
m
y
DEMONSEED
-------------
. . .. .. .. . . . . .
- Sunday, November 09, 2003 at 05:04:55 (PST)


"Who Cares"

The white wedding dress was scratchy and Johnny Hollywood could not even think of what a piece of chicken looked like let alone a bucket of it,
but he tried and after the blonde in the scratch wedding dress finally disappeared around the corner for good he could not remember left from right
day from night or if he should go east again.
-------------
.. .. .. .. .. ..
- Sunday, November 09, 2003 at 04:53:57 (PST)


Box Car Jesus stood up and pissed in the fire
everyone in the homeless camp was used to his
rudeness by now and they knew not to sleep around him if they wanted shoes when they woke up the next morning.

"Well the way I heard it was,Johnny Hollywoods hot little Bertha done got gone,and he forgot all about milking her" Box Car Jesus told the nice lady from the health department who was there on yet another a mad cap mission of handing out free condoms and sri nges.
-------------
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. . . . . . . . . . . .
- Saturday, November 08, 2003 at 05:03:10 (PST)


Johnny Hollywood became confused
the media was a week behind
and he had to live in today.

He needed to know what kind of pie
he was really digging way to much

French Silk Choclate? NO.
Pecan? kinda NO.
Cherry? NO.
Blueberry? NO not the eyes for that.
Honeypie? Most certianly but more than that
a specific flavor


"ICE CREAME PIE I THINK LIKE ICE CREAME CAKE"
Was the last thing Johnny Hollywood remembered
thinking before they unplugged his microchip
losing the directions to kill the snakes with the magnetic energy he had saved in the main drive

"The pie in the sky that you can't have..the pie high in the sky like god I said that you can not have HAHAHHA HAHAH AHHAH AHAHAHAH AHAHAAAHAHAHAHA"
Said The Evil Vixen cult leader that had kidnapped his brain and put a disc of tara reed lap dances in its place it was going to erase all memory.
but Johnny Hollywood did'nt care if it meant she
would no longer be obsesed with him and quit stalking him making it impossible to meet new people always having to lie and tell people she was "His Security"

"Just fuck off and die bitch",He told her
wishing her fat ass would get out of the way so he could find a new girl to be obsesed with him and his craziness.

The holy books burned in the darkness and when scattered they had the same outline the stars had and thats how Johnny Hollywood knew that would be the scale he would play and...

On this night of death he invited the devil for a romantic walk thru the grave yard.

"I swear to God I love that Angel" Johnny Hollywood told Satan as they walked thru ghosts so far away from the crossroads.
-------------
.. . .
- Saturday, November 08, 2003 at 04:50:56 (PST)


i am crazy about you
-------------
Anonymous
- Saturday, November 08, 2003 at 03:13:59 (PST)


Johnny Hollywoods new favorite groupie was trying to get his attention

-------------
.. . .. . . .. . . . . . . . . . . . . .. .. ...... . .
- Friday, November 07, 2003 at 05:41:37 (PST)


Johnny Hollywood opened each of the twelve dozen rats skulls and removed the acid in each brain then rubbed it onto the left handed Les Paul's finish then he removed the cross from the fire and placed it inbetween the two pick ups.
-------------
... . .. .. . .....
- Friday, November 07, 2003 at 05:37:13 (PST)


Johnny Hollywood got off his horse and tied it out front of the Cross Threaded Lesbian Mafia's Union Hall
He pushed the swinging doors open and was approched by the vending bouncer who insisted he would need these heavy duty bingo chips during his stay,not even noticing Johnny had tracked cow shit across the just
varnished floor.
"I'm not here for the goat urine boat drinks" He told her,"I'm looking for Bertha,She done got gone and I forgot to milk her" The
back door slammed and he looked out at the lake.
He could'nt see the river boat
so he got back on his horse and went into town looking
for a decent woman,you know a school teacher,pizza maker,or a libarian
until he noticed he was late for the dreaded marriage consoling appointment.

The lawn furniture in Gails office looked like it needed to be replaced
and garbage day was half a week away
"Normal people do not trade cocaine
for spell-getti,Johnny Hollywood" Said Gail as she scratched her money
hand and watched the second hand move another notch.

The piles in each corner of Johnny Hollywood's studio were three feet
high
in one corner there was broken guitars
in the other corner was drugs
the fans gave him he did'nt even know what most of the shit was (his
crack whore loved the corner) and in the other corner was guitars not so
broken
just with lots of wear.
In the other corner was the bathroom
that was always out of shit paper.

The new bass player was doing fine and the band was never better

"I get this part here where I just play the regular Rat Acid riff then
you sing

She a spectacular fucking whore bag
She a spectacular fucking whore bag
She a spectacular fucking whore bag
and I'm gonna make her mine...

Then I play the Rat Acid riff backwards there right?"
asked the new bass player.

Johhny Hollywood did'nt hear a word he said as he wrote down the verse

her hair a dried bleach blonde yellow
her eyelids a pussy pink
her eyes a hepititas yellow I love you

-------------
...... . .. .. .. .
- Thursday, November 06, 2003 at 14:15:43 (PST)


tonight I am all alone
I will be by the phone
listening to the tone
waiting for your call
-------------
Anonymous
- Thursday, November 06, 2003 at 11:01:18 (PST)


http://www.berthabox.net/

-------------
Anonymous
- Thursday, November 06, 2003 at 02:10:16 (PST)


http://www.berthabox.com/
-------------
Anonymous
- Thursday, November 06, 2003 at 02:09:47 (PST)


her every move was art to me
but she still was'nt Kelly Cakes
-------------
Anonymous
- Tuesday, November 04, 2003 at 23:56:06 (PST)


"The fog eats away at the memory
We have nothing
as the grey skies
close this chapter
in the face of just another day"
-------------
.. .. .JFNH. .. . . . . . . .
- Tuesday, November 04, 2003 at 04:38:12 (PST)


Winner Winner Winner
All Time Hottest Woman on the Planet

Jessica K.
-------------
.. .. . . .. . . . . . . . .
- Monday, November 03, 2003 at 05:36:18 (PST)


Winner Winner Winner

Miss November 2003
Jessica K.

-------------
.... .
- Monday, November 03, 2003 at 05:35:14 (PST)


Ladies and Gentlemen....

The Tard Zilla Factor
-------------
Anonymous
- Monday, November 03, 2003 at 01:12:34 (PST)


3:33

that number is banned from my vocabulary
all because of the latest halloween night
when I stopped there to pick up my sugar
and instead found the dead body of a buglar
hanging upside down in the front room of the
house with the number 3:33 and to think I would
still be out lookin for sugar in the wee hours
of what is now all saints day.
-------------
Anonymous
- Saturday, November 01, 2003 at 07:01:25 (PST)


Oh Please!!
Just shut up already!!
Just take that spoon that's in your little hand
and let the heart eating commence
It's not like I have all day
-------------
Pretynd
- Friday, October 31, 2003 at 12:23:02 (PST)


I hope that at the age of 59 I still look 29 as I do now being the same age as the one which is younger of the two listed above. You on the other hand are simply weighing me down making it harder for me to find my way. You know you could stand to loose a few pounds but still know that that would never make me starting comin around. No you see I am through with you and have been for quite some time and that I wish you would get through your head
-------------
Anonymous
- Tuesday, October 28, 2003 at 21:59:40 (PST)


Anonymous I fart in ur general direc tion.

-------------
Z
- Monday, October 27, 2003 at 11:42:52 (PST)


I love you Be
Thank-You
-------------
Pretynd
- Sunday, October 26, 2003 at 23:34:10 (PST)


you're still not listening
-------------
Eve
- Sunday, October 26, 2003 at 09:51:57 (PST)


alternate turn around

'Cause your angel wings and bunny tail
is in my every dream
-------------
...
- Saturday, October 25, 2003 at 03:44:42 (PDT)


12 bar blues


"The Cakes"
E
If I ever get off this Island
I'm gonna take you along with me
A
If I ever get off this Island
I'm gonna take you right along with me

B A E B7
'cause your bunny ears and halo
is in my every dream

E
If I ever get off this Island
I'm gonna take you with me
A
If I ever get off this Island
I'm gonna take you right along with me
wait and see wait and see

B A E7sus9 B7
'cause your bunny ears and halo
is in my every dream


A blonde inspired blues song with about 37 solos
somewhere inbetween.
-------------
....
- Friday, October 24, 2003 at 14:25:15 (PDT)


Hey Kitty kitty kitty kitty kitttttty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty!
-------------
.. . . .. . . . . . . . . . . . .
- Friday, October 24, 2003 at 11:42:12 (PDT)


Gail's thirty-six hour office visit cracked Bertha's Mom and she went screaming down the halls.
It was just as Gail had expected Berthas Ma was trying to prematurely scratch the insides of the twenty-five dollar Martha Stwart pot because she had one made by a different manufactuer ten years prevouis to this one and it had been scratched because it was a cheap piece of shit.
-------------
.. . . . . . .. . .
- Friday, October 24, 2003 at 11:32:33 (PDT)


Pretynd:
Do you realize how stupid you are?
How worthless you are?
may you bleed to death from your
"weeping womb"
everyone here hates you
-------------
the voice of many
- Friday, October 24, 2003 at 11:11:06 (PDT)


I will rip your heart out
you souless bastard
just like I ripped you out
of me
step away from my
weeping womb motherfucker
or I will send you to whatever
God you wish
you have three seconds
One
Two
-------------
Pretynd
- Friday, October 24, 2003 at 06:22:25 (PDT)





"As soon as Gail fired the harpo marx live in landscaper for good living conditions changed for the better,now if we can only get Johnny Hollywoods fat ass case worker bitch to move it on up
we can restock the fridge" Said Opie to the change mac hine
-------------
........... ... . .. . .. ...... ......
- Friday, October 24, 2003 at 03:05:28 (PDT)


"When they took lori's left eye out
there was found to be two cameras in the left eye socket
and with the additional duct tape camera there was three cameras getting the same angle for the shot"
Box car Jesus told the nice ladies at the church bake sale.
-------------
.. . .. .. .. .. . .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. . .
- Friday, October 24, 2003 at 02:59:24 (PDT)


Lori stepped up to the plate and let them duck tape the camera to her head
it really was no ones fault that her left eye ended up duct taped to but everyone signed the petition to agree not to ever take the Strawberry Bertha acid again
until the settlement came thru.

"I can't just leave the retarded bitch at the truck stop if only because she wont get out of the car"
said Johnny Hollywoo d.


-------------
:::::::::::::: : : : : : : : : : : : ::::::::::::::::::
- Friday, October 24, 2003 at 02:55:51 (PDT)


"Johnny Hollywood you are up against the biggest bulldyke in the midwest for the title bout
this bitch is big
shes humoungous
She has four asses
and wears glow in the dark kotex shoulder pads
shes the one that wears the popes hat
and the pants in the family
you better duck or run and get outta the way."
Said Buttercup
as she finished the fifth pitcher of margeritias.

"None of this matters there still is a whole lotta cross threading to be done" Said Gypsy the groupie narrator who lived her happy ass in one of Johnny Hollywoods wiccan trees.

-------------
.....
- Friday, October 24, 2003 at 02:50:13 (PDT)


what about bertha
-------------
Anonymous
- Thursday, October 23, 2003 at 11:58:18 (PDT)


Johnny Hollywood seen the snakes crawling across the road and hit the brakes excessively hard slithering across them in a skid.
Blood and Guts beautiful!
-------------
.... . .. ..
- Wednesday, October 22, 2003 at 21:45:45 (PDT)


The maid service and the ups guy got there at the same time
fuck signing me up for a class at the communitty college said Johnny
"Ya all look like you could scrub the toilet"
and they went right to work

"You gotta sign for these" said the belegerent U.P.S. worker.

"I don't want the seventys disco abortion looking
immergrent" said Johnny
"just this blonde one"

"Its all or none" said the evil U.P.S. guy

"Well I guess I could set the others free,
but they might never go away like the one that looks a lot like harpo marx, or pam the menomonee indian prostitute I freed and she just needed a ride to get a bag then back to the strip so it did'nt matter how much I hurt the pimp that day" Said JFNH
-------------
.......
- Wednesday, October 22, 2003 at 14:57:38 (PDT)


Johnny Hollywood you've have signed up on welfare and we have sent a nice caseworker to live with you to check out your refrences and stature in society" said the very obease black woman sitting at the cold generic steel desk in the back of the welfare office.

"Is this because I sang those welfare songs in the subway?" asked Johnny Francis Nicolas Hollywood.
"Nope guess again said Lardass.

"Is it because of the early days of the band we used to steal electricity and play until the police came,
and now we use extension chords and live large like a fat korean?" asked JFNH.

"No Johnny,its because you have more cheese than ronald regan gave away" said the very obease c aseworker
-------------
.. .. .. .. .... .. ... .. .. .. .. .
- Wednesday, October 22, 2003 at 14:49:33 (PDT)


"DDDAAAARRRR" said Johnny Hollywood.
"I should have known"
There were cameras in the cameras
-------------
... . .
- Wednesday, October 22, 2003 at 14:43:14 (PDT)


Johnny Hollywood knew right now at this very moment
the girl with the long perm was indeed the hottest woman on the planet
but anyway
he said to God
"Your Hieness,may I speak"
I don't wanna intrupt you combing your blonde locks,but I must have a red head
and the cross threaded lesbian mafia union have stolen the red head I already picked out" said JFNH

"Why must you have a red head" asked Jessica

"Well cause I can't have you and I want her now so I can get a good start on counting her freckles before Christmas,and if you could hurry it up some,I got the devil girl waiting for me at the aforementioned crossroads" Said Johnny Hollywood.

"You can count my freckles" said God.

"But you have not so many freckles as the devil" said jfn h
-------------
........
- Wednesday, October 22, 2003 at 14:39:17 (PDT)


"Lab Rats Lament"

THIS IS A TEST,THIS IS ONLY A TEST

Mice and monkey,wheel in cage

test you until your trained

toxic rodent losing rat race

tastes like chicken,fed to the snake

infectious disease research cell freezing

lost in a maze cheesy albino with lesions


Rat brain in space,sattlite reception

double dose of cloned mutation

micrscopic study prevention

genetic strain of humane intervention


from the brain and seminal fluid

of the rat comes acid phosphate

dying in a rat trap,last in the rat race

not really giving a rats ass

I smell a rat in space


domestic lab rat died here insane

rat pack,rat patrol,rat breath,cat bait

dying of strictnine poisioning

rat acid ,rats bane


-------------
Written By Travis Ray Cole
- Wednesday, October 22, 2003 at 12:18:58 (PDT)


Johnny Hollywood called the escort service many times that morning trying to find the right lady
(who was'nt holding a sign on the side of the road)
to come on over and call to sign him up in a class at the community college to learn him the proper ways of spelling Speggitti.

He was scolded badly on his first attempt
"We don't have any anerexic people" The lady ripped Johnny a new asshole.

so the others he called he tried not to be so specific
so he did'nt say "Blue eyed blonde anerexic"
he just said one that looks like
barbie or one like that barbie meets baucall looking bitch on the movie "Rat Race"
"you know where barbie flys the helecopter" he said right before he was hung up on so rudely.

then he tried ordering a red head
finally agrreing with
"Just send the fat mexican"

Said the satanic bleach blonde groupie as she tried to adjust to living in one of Johnny's wiccan type trees
-------------
.........
- Wednesday, October 22, 2003 at 12:11:54 (PDT)




The survielance vans surronded Johnny Hollywoods crib.
He was under the microscope and thought it was because of the acidrain lenses he had switched on the hidden cameras.

"Johnny Hollywood had reserved the p asswords
"Berthachrist","Bertha",and "Berthaelectra"
with the holy lord." said Johnnys mental patient landscaper to the suit.

"What about Bertha jim morrison? asked the suit.
-------------
.. . ..
- Wednesday, October 22, 2003 at 11:59:43 (PDT)


`Johnny Hollywood wrastled the pot trees with his bare hands spanking them and putting them upside down in "time out"
not fearing death or the C.T.L.M.!

"If you can wrastle 'maters you damn shure can wrastle the mary jane" box car jesus said.
-------------
...
- Wednesday, October 22, 2003 at 10:01:11 (PDT)


Box car Jesus hid the Bertha medicene in his shoe thinking that they were after him because he listened to the Bob Dylan song where it says
"Johnnys in the basement mixing up the medicene"
So he cooked the bertha medicene and then took the film that the mouth wash was on and put a triple dose of the Bertha Medicene on each little sheet and passed it around the fire at the homeless camp waiting until everyone was dosed good then he preached to them about
The Cross Threaded Lesbian Mafia Unions Regeime
BIENG THE SO CALLED BAD GUYS.



"Johnny Hollywood's hypnotist was a little slut and a half" said the gypsy witch as she cleared out the medicene cabinet
into her mojo bag along with the solid rock hard bisquits,nigger jim had made for her the night before.


-------------
.... . .. . . . .
- Tuesday, October 21, 2003 at 10:40:06 (PDT)


Lightining shattered the sky as God came down the golden stairway brought to you by pilsbury
The lord noticed even though the trees were blooming.

"Sir,Yes Sir, I did not bring my guitar today to the garden because I did not know you would be here today,Sir" Johnny said.

"I have brought some scales I want you to practice,Johnny." Said the lord.

Johnny was lying again,the reason he did not bring his guitar to the garden that morning was because he had been jogging and working out to get in shape for the big freckle counting event coming up.


The leader of the cross threaded lesbian mafia stood up and flung the chess board across the floor of the mens room.
"I want him dead" She said to the biggest bulldyke bouncer on her left.

"Johnny, You have to drop out of the contest" shouted his landscaper "Harpo Marx"(the bait and switch mail order bride from hell.)

"I will not take a fall just because the cross threaded lesbian mafia throw a little money around" Said Johnny proudly as he hummed the theme from rocky.

"No Johnny Hollywood,its not that! You have been entered in the cross threading event by mistakes" shouted Harpo from the stands.

Johnny Hollywood looked at the green bay shit packers cross threaded offensive line and wished he never uncovered the story about Edward Lowe (the inventor of the cat box) funding the cross threaded lesbian mafias
every move,He was thier puppeteer,the mind behind the muscle.

Johnny snuck behind the bar and called and ordered a pizza to be delieved to the parking lot in an hour and
then he called Box Car Jesus and asked for more of the bogus monies he was making on his personal computer.

The rented moving truck full of conterfet cash arrived a half hour before the pizza.
-------------
... ..
- Tuesday, October 21, 2003 at 06:35:27 (PDT)


my general message to the public
will be

FUCK YOU!!
-------------
Anonymous
- Monday, October 20, 2003 at 22:37:25 (PDT)


the finial opus of betrayal
you dont like to know her,
DOOOOOWAAAAAAAH !!!!!

-------------
monikers
- Monday, October 20, 2003 at 21:57:23 (PDT)


nothing to do but to pick at the monkey,
othing to do do wahh wahhh,
nothing to do but to say hello goodnight ,
nothing to do do wahh wahh,
sitting here at the episcopal syndrome,
ingrown hairs are waaa-aaack,
nothing to do about nothing to do,
UNTIL ITS OVER,
you said you would be at the end of the trough
and little biscuits of frown that you forcefed,
OOOOOOOOOH at the hotel
the endless shit tray of the ME-LAN-CHOLY dope head,
and sour servants make shitty nothing to do's all the more,
500 count cheap skate scape goat sheets
and a tower of shoes couldnt do it.
AT THE HOE-TELLLL!!!!!
nothing to do in these shoes,
nothig to do do wahh-waaahh,
everythings jewed oh everythings cool,
nothing to do,do, do, do,
blahh- BLAHHHHHH!!!!

-------------
monica
- Monday, October 20, 2003 at 21:44:54 (PDT)


"VAULT OFF THE GOLDEN CHAIR"

trailor park gods speak in tongues of ebbs
taxidermy of my ventricle,so much for the revolutionary HEINZ tomato ketchup folly.
BY GOLLY!!
outwardly passive-internally h-bomb.
my thoughts and stretches of you..
its the only logical choice of the lesser evils,
youd do it too,youd do it too,
so much for broke night lamentature .
-------------
monica
- Monday, October 20, 2003 at 21:16:49 (PDT)


the only person that can make you happy:

YOU

and don't skimp on the self-respect
-------------
main ingredient
- Monday, October 20, 2003 at 16:01:14 (PDT)


I promise I will win the lottery
I promise I will
and then I will get a nice spread in Lake Forest
with 7.5 bathrooms and leave my Corvette out in the sun.
-------------
. .. . . . . . .
- Sunday, October 19, 2003 at 11:10:53 (PDT)


in todays dream about kellycakes

it wasnt long after she threw my map out the window
that I kissed her cheek

she laughed and the cold air was like a cloud as she exhaled

like scars in ice
-------------
. . . . . . . .
- Friday, October 17, 2003 at 14:07:22 (PDT)


Johnny Francis Nicolas Hollywood picked up the rocket launcher he had recently bought from the C.T.L.M.
(The Cross Threaded Lesbian Mafia) at the "mamogram day fair"They had booths set up where you could pay two dollars and milk a goat,and you know they were selling oatmeal cookies also.
Noone asked where the cash might be going to.
Johnny Hollywood had anger.
He carefully aimed the rocket launcher at Shitbags convertible and in seconds she was a pedestrain.

"Hope ya all's good at walking there,Shitbag" Box Car Jesus said.
-------------
......
- Friday, October 17, 2003 at 07:18:00 (PDT)


"Soul-Mates"

I will show up at your door with roses and we will have a nice candle light dinner on the beach and then go for a walk under the moon and stars
and I will have you back at the methodone clinic
before midnight so you don't turn into a pumpkin
there cinderella-ski.

plan B

I will show up at your door with roses and we will have a nice candle light dinner on the beach and then go for a walk under the moon and stars
and I will have you back at the psch-ward
before ten p.m. so you don't get locked out and miss medication time.
-------------
Anonymous
- Friday, October 17, 2003 at 02:18:28 (PDT)


"Soul-Mates"

I will show up at your door with roses and we will have a nice candle light dinner on the beach and then go for a walk under the moon and stars
and I will have you back at the methodone clinic
before midnight so you don't turn into a pumpkin
there cinderella-ski.

plan B

I will show up at your door with roses and we will have a nice candle light dinner on the beach and then go for a walk under the moon and stars
and I will have you back at the psch-ward
before ten p.m. so you don't get locked out and miss medication time.

-------------
Anonymous
- Friday, October 17, 2003 at 02:16:59 (PDT)


spell-getti
-------------
Anonymous
- Thursday, October 16, 2003 at 22:43:52 (PDT)


"Shelly"

Shelly
Shelly
Shelly
-------------
Anonymous
- Thursday, October 16, 2003 at 14:20:02 (PDT)


That eve
Johnny Hollywood was to recieve the award for watching
"Twister" as many times as he had waatched "Rain Man"
But he did not have an acceptance speech prepared
because even though he knew the ceremony was coming up
he spent all of his time
time time time time time

writing sickening pop songs poetry odes and ballads telling the sorrowful tales of the cat box blues

in fact he spent an incredable amount of time on one piece called "sick in the head from the cat box"
So much time that he was becoming obsessed with his battle against Edward Lowe (the inventor of the cat box)
that he forgot all about the Cross Threaded Lesbian Mafia) known as the C.T.L.M.
Well Johnny bieng preoccupied he left his left flank completely open
It was a good thing the cable guys were there to intercept the C.T.L.M.'s offensive team with an episoide of "Carmen Electra's" NEW "sTAND UP WHIST YOU URINATE" video
the camera eye lens was scratched and cockeyed at that
the little troll that lived under the house must have a
sister Johnny Hollywood thought
except this little troll with the half assed installed
camera lens eye had blonde hair
but have no fear because Johnny Hollywoods stomic over rides his mind in the instance and produced projected vomit in honor of her ugliness
and vomit rained from the heavens and vomit rained down the halls
-------------
... . .. . .. . ..
- Thursday, October 16, 2003 at 14:08:48 (PDT)


oh and just one more thing:
go ahead be angry,
be bitter
I have always liked your lies on my tongue
mmmmmmm
sweet like candy
-------------
Pretynd
- Wednesday, October 15, 2003 at 20:10:32 (PDT)


Look here, miss Jane
Nothing can remain the same
There is no victory left to claim
Together we should share the blame
to end the darkness of this pain
though there is nothing left to gain
sorrow and shame
Is this the way to play the game?
In the dark I will sob your name
without you I am pale and plain
I guess I am insane
-------------
Pretynd
- Wednesday, October 15, 2003 at 19:58:52 (PDT)


you make me almost love math.....well..perhaps that's a stretch.
-------------
Anonymous
- Wednesday, October 15, 2003 at 12:43:22 (PDT)


JFNH

Johnny Hollywood heard shreiks and screams from gails office then he could hear yelling
"Thats when the preacher strapped the mean greeny to his forhead and made my cry" Z bellowed.

"Whats this shit?" Johnny thought this freaks cutting into my time,that I gotta pay for.

Just then Z came out of Gails office door wearing Gails ripped stockings and walking funny.

"Next" Gail hollered.

"Are you cheating on me with sweety pants there Gail?" he questioned.

"A girls gotta do what a girls gotta do" Said Gail.

Then she opened the game of chess by moving the light house shaped pawn to B4

Johnny chilled on the couch and looked at the newest Thomas Kincaid hanging on the wall all crooked like.

"George ain't gonna let me feed the rabbits"
Said Johnny as if he really wanted to tend to the rabbits at feeding time.
Then he broke into song " The cheese stands alone the cheese stands alone"

"You've gotta quit quoting movies Johnny,How can I cure the real you?" said Gail

"O.K. no more James Dean" Johnny Hollywood promised

"Now Johnny I think I have your obession forula figured out
you still need a series of labotamies but I think I broke the code your really digging the red head
in december because of Christmas red and white valentines day red again and august because of the sun turning hair redish when it is destorying it? and blondes april thru july and dark hair girls and bleach blondes all thru the year?" Gail told him.

"Uhhhhhh" Johnny Hollywood said as gail filled his tooth around the microchip she was installing in his rotted out molar.

"More Gas Johnny?" Gail asked
Johnny Hollywood nodded and gripped the dental chair he recently found in the alley even tighter.

"Now Johnny, This are'nt fans you have been seeing,they are security,your security" She said as she wiped Johnnys blood on her Nazi uniform.

"I just can't believe she would treat me that way" Johnny said.

"O.K. Johnny so the woman who answers the phone for the escort service scolded you,its not the end of the world" Said Gail.

"Well it was laundry day and the taters needed to be cooked! I just keep hearing her say over and over in my mind "WE DON'T HAVE NO ANEREXIC PEOPLE" Johnny said shattered.
-------------
.... . . . . . . . .. .. .. ..
- Wednesday, October 15, 2003 at 09:19:29 (PDT)


Your Mission Has been Accomplished
The Deed Has been Done
I have detached myself
Believe what you will
The Boundaries have been set
The laws have been reformed
I am tired and forlorn
One month to ten Months
What does it matter?
There is a principle
Yeah, you asked me if it was ok...
But what could I really say?
Perhaps you should have known better in the beginning
My wounds are old and scarred
Your wounds are fresh
So Shame on Me I guess...
But the deed has been done
Believe what you will

-------------
Jane
- Wednesday, October 15, 2003 at 08:33:39 (PDT)


Johnny Hollywood lounge in Gails office on the lawn furniture he had found in the trash to cut back on the cost of props.

"Why are they bothering you,Johnny" Gail asked.

"The underground is like a big bunch of cops,policing
everywhere they go snitching you out at a constent rate
worse than the big brother slash big bang theory" Johnny Hollywood told the sweet doctor of marriage reconcilation "Gail".

"What underground Johnny? You originaly said they were your crazed fans and we had to listen to your "lunatic fringe" cassette three times when you decieded they were the devil and never wanted you to get laid
,but I still have not seen anyone Johnny,are they invisible? Maybe you are just paranoid?" Gail asked.


-------------
...... .. . . .
- Wednesday, October 15, 2003 at 05:58:27 (PDT)


"Hortencia"

Hortencia,would you be my girl
Hortencia,would you be my girl
My hearts been everywhere
theres noone else in this world


-------------
.
- Tuesday, October 14, 2003 at 13:30:48 (PDT)


your lovely dark hair flowing
into your eyes I see

-------------
.
- Tuesday, October 14, 2003 at 09:02:58 (PDT)


you have more issues
than the bible has psalms
-------------
Anonymous
- Tuesday, October 14, 2003 at 02:37:59 (PDT)


David, you can do it!
I love you
-------------
Eve
- Monday, October 13, 2003 at 19:05:02 (PDT)


I am sorry Mata Hari,
And Judas I apologize to you as well.
Once I get these knives out of my back
I am sure we call be one big happy family.
No really, thats not blood
just the stains from my imperfection
-------------
Pretynd
- Monday, October 13, 2003 at 18:47:50 (PDT)


dream ons?

-------------
Anonymous
- Monday, October 13, 2003 at 07:48:47 (PDT)


~Mirror, mirror on the wall,
Hide my deamons, and hide them all~
-------------
Z
- Monday, October 13, 2003 at 07:39:29 (PDT)


"livin' at the dyke bar"

I'm livin' at the dyke bar
you don't gotta go that far
its ok if your a tard
livin' at the dyke bar
livin at the dyke bar
-------------
Anonymous
- Monday, October 13, 2003 at 07:10:24 (PDT)


I will always be there for you like a doors cd
-------------
Anonymous
- Monday, October 13, 2003 at 06:13:46 (PDT)


Johnny two times baby
had crossed the line
The Lord said he could use the password "Berthaelectra"
if he held up to his part of the deal
so Johnny Hollywood went out and cut up the snakes
and spliced them like film

-------------
.
- Monday, October 13, 2003 at 01:01:06 (PDT)


Tell me I won't
I promise I will
Keep talking shit
Your ass I will kill

You think you're so smart
I hate your guts
You and her SUCK
So FUCK THE HELL OFF!
-------------
Spottmonster
- Sunday, October 12, 2003 at 15:23:03 (PDT)


you beautiful bastard
its all inside
you beautiful bastard
a safe place to hide
you beautiful bastard
in you I reside

-------------
Pretynd
- Saturday, October 11, 2003 at 00:39:09 (PDT)


Johnny Hollywood you pissed off the fat people again and they will soon have the initition fee needed to Join the cross threaded lesbian mafia union and fight against the ideal of you making it thru the week unless you have a plan be Said the lady at the pet store

"I just paid $59.95 to the informercial so I can join the undergroud and become really hip." Said Box Car Jesus as he burned his kite.

It was the goats the fat witch was going to kill and name her next mulotto after.
It was the goats who ate her cornbread.
-------------
Anonymous
- Friday, October 10, 2003 at 09:16:42 (PDT)


Jesus, who farted?

~A nail drops, an ass scratched~


-------------
Z
- Friday, October 10, 2003 at 08:53:52 (PDT)


I will arrive in the shining armour
and ask you if it hurt when you fell from heaven
but you may need to wear a football helment
so you dont crack your skull open on the headboard
when I think about Ratchel.
-------------
...
- Friday, October 10, 2003 at 04:56:58 (PDT)


Ride it untill u burn
-------------
Z
- Thursday, October 09, 2003 at 08:51:22 (PDT)


you need to get out of here, and into screenplays, man, I mean it
Johnny Hollywood's creator should be in film
I'd pay to watch!

-------------
Anonymous
- Thursday, October 09, 2003 at 07:36:09 (PDT)


The very obease lady counted Johnny Hollywoods money sweat poured from her face she was overexcerting herself Johnny thought she might have a heart attack
she moved her arms slightly and Johnny could tell she was really working up an appetite
everybody stood back in awe
how does she do it should she take a break and get something to drink or something
shes going to die of dehydration.

There she was in the center ring
counting the singles like the professional she was
"One, Two, Three, Four, Five"
"Six, Seven, Eight" The sweat dripped onto each bill
making it easier to flip the pages.

When she was done Johnny flipped her a ten spot as a tip for such an effort he had never seen.
-------------
.. . ... .
- Thursday, October 09, 2003 at 04:52:08 (PDT)


Johnny Hollywood woke up at the protest
and thought he was the new woody guthrie
"No more Ghettopoly, No more Ghettopoly"
they chanted.

"Is this going to end the global warming thing?"
he asked Shelly.
There was no answer.

"You wanted to hold signs" Said the police officer

In the paddy wagon Johnny seen the leader of one of the opposing bands "Your doing my wife,Your doing my wife" the opposing band leader said to Johnny

Johnny rolled his eyes and said
"I was gonna do her
but when I got a better look at her
I left her for the second guitar player"

Satan then spoke up as said "I have other punishments for the second guitar player Johnny Hollywood."
Johnny was kinda shocked that the red head still talked to him and he smi led.
-------------
...... .
- Thursday, October 09, 2003 at 04:41:00 (PDT)


"were all waiting"
"one and one make three"
Johnny Hollywood preached to the passing cars
as he stood on the off ramp holding a sign
that read "I will work for Gibson Guitars"

just then a white super strech limo pulled up beside him and he could tell by the scratch under the door it was Olivia's so he pulled his pockets inside out and signed I love you
she rolled down her window and said "Get in asshole you look like your in bad shape"

Johnny told Z who was laying in the dirt
"You wanted to join the sides of the cross threaded lesbian mafia and see if they help you
they have kidnapped the one I wanna get up with and are keeping her love away from me
when they strap a big greeny onto the hood of a 1972 ford pinto and drive it up your ass without double clutching don't come crying to me"

Johnny Hollywood threw down the sign and got into Olivias chilli cruiser saying" I'm sorry baby" as he was whisked away into the morning traffic.
-------------
.......
- Thursday, October 09, 2003 at 04:32:44 (PDT)


well, they they fight so much
because they get along too well
-------------
Anonymous
- Wednesday, October 08, 2003 at 16:18:37 (PDT)


sometimes, right in the middle of it,it's
"I need new batteries"
or
"Are the dishes still in the sink?"

counting the colors on the back of his shirt
waiting for the moment
waiting
I'm just waiting

and sleep brings genius
dreams bring answers

to questions I never had
sentences I thought impossible
osmosis blanketed
hopes multiplying exponentially
and the how and where of sel f-possession

____________
(Here, here)
____________

-------------
and the algebraic graphic ones are even more of a bitch
- Wednesday, October 08, 2003 at 16:17:31 (PDT)


If I could put all your variables
Into my equation
I am sure I could figure this out
Sure I could figure you out
Could I borrow your calculator?
I never was very good with mat h.

````````````````````````````````

No woman ever goes anywhere without her Agenda
It would do me good to remember that
-------------
Pretynd
- Wednesday, October 08, 2003 at 06:19:27 (PDT)


Poems pruned on 10-08-03

poems_01-08-00 archive
poems_02-26-00 archive
poems_05-12-99 archive
poems_08-11-00 archive
poems_08-15-99 archive
poems_10-27-99 archive
poems_09-08-01 archive
poems_02-02-02 archive
poems_03-23-02 archive
poems_12-18-01 archive
poems_07-24-02 archive
poems_10-29-02 archive
poems_03-08-03 archive
poems_05-15-03 archive
poems_08-24-03 archive
poems_10-08-03 archive

 
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