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never would I have expected this
nor did I ever suspect it to be
but the reality is that it has
come to pass for the last time
I am sorry for what I did to you
and you, and for what I thought of
but never did to the other two
I will pay an eternity for the mistake
of lusting you rather than loving you
and if I am not mistaken the pay off
has already started and happens to me
everytime your image is put in my face
I want to run, hide, and cry until you
go away because knowing for absolute and for
certain that I can never know and love you
is the most painful mistake that I have ever made
but now the way life is for me even if I had the
opportunity with your image for a longterm I now
could never trade for I am in this one for keeps
we are all a package just waiting to be delivered
I can now say no more then just what I said about
my own peace about this whole ordeal which started
back when and includes everything up until now where
you and you and him and I are concerned. My mind
has accepted another truth besides what really went down
between and the distance that separates us all amounts to
the fact that I should have been learning rather then
lusting. I would like to thank you for the concept of
redemption and righteousness that you taught me through
your consistence and insistence for coolness. I love you
all always but now I know through __ that my time will never
arrive where all you alike guys are concerned because your
purpose was never to be a partner in the traditional sense
and in fact for some of you I was only able to see you from
afar and although I did learn from you it was still hard
because we are never suppose to meet for that would be to cheat
something anymore I do not do because of the conscious I discovered
because of knowing you. I love each and every one of you and hope
that you feel the same intense burning desire and love towards me
that I have for each of you even when we all must remain as free as a butterfly away from any of us -- man I told you the pay off was hard and painful and I am sentenced to it forever because I never treated anyone of you right
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Anonymous
-

Winner Winner Winner
Miss June 2005
-------------
.
-

You don’t sound good...Can’t control your tone...
In the neverwood...You’re under score...sure has shone...
And there you stood...right were you stand...
Answer me this..."Why Do You Live?"...what's your life for?...
Do you give...cure?...or...are you a sore?...
Dot to dot...the cris-cross guy...
Answers why with a fatal lie...
The living dead...dead above ground...haven’t you heard?...
The blood is shed...seek ye the WORD...enjoy the sound...the soul is to be fed...
Full-forced to be crowned...Cut all ties...burn all bridges...I thought you new?...
Witches get Stitches!!! Foo

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DD
-

I hate u travis
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Anonymous
-

next poem plz

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Anonymous
-

If someone enters the bathroom I must be notified because I have to know what they are doing or going to do in there.If someone takes a shit or a piss I must be notified at once,because I have to know what they do and what color,shape and size the fecces or urine sample are. If possible the sample should be weighed,measured and logged into the recordbook or family bible if possible and for extra credit you may save samples in wash clothes left on the sink by the handsoap or anywhere convient and within reach of the "stool". Smaller decrotive "smudge" samples may be left on walls,floors,ceilings,cabinets,toilet seat,door handle,and light switch.
If for any reason I do not know the intentions of someone in the bathroom they must vacate the bathroom for a quick 99 point inspection by me,or another approved individual who shares the same common intrest in discovering what color the samples are,and who dropped them for what re ason.
-------------
nosey brown noser
-

You seem to be deleted...as over you…some stood to see
Were you ever needed...beggar of creation...even some degree?
Like lies and larceny…what you’ve become…will always be
Hold up…Wait a minute…
I’m waking up…and now back in it
Wash the witness…Power for hire…Count these candles…
Bandit…boom…Room full…New moon …
Rock…Rap…all doom…
Grown up too soon…now comes…street sons…
All twelve tons…with a sawed off squirt gun…
To the left and on the right…shipwrecked…neglect…sent into the night
Sifter of the bands…and upon this rock…The Church still stands
Pressing on…one love…one song…
Passing on…what’s right…smashing on…what’s wrong…
A nation carved from the branch of Calhoun County…
Preservation starved…while THEE be sought…praises weed the bounty
Keeper of blessing…knock off…dub…right?
Finding seven…insightfully…in spite of the law
Tore by tantrum…bite the ball...walks the wall…keeps the ransom…
Even the heavens and earth was shook…as I stood in the light…as I write…
Keeping it raw…Revelation’s more than a book…take a look

-------------
DD
-

once there were 3 and now there are 4

Where did you come from
this I must know because
you resemble people from
my past

God bless your heart for
I know it to be so real
I can feel you and I
don't even know you
in person although
that could change
if you would just
exchange with me
what you know

I speak of enigma and the passion from peter gabriel
in hopes to ressurect this something at last
I would name drop in a heartbeat if I knew that you
would care enough to at least wanna meet them and me

the world is your oyster now and we are just mere names
blowing in the wind and your life brings me comfort everytime you sing
so please don't ever cut the hair or loose your style
even if it gets boring after awhile

I will wish that I am told the reason why and if not by them then it needs to be you so even if its just through a song you should plan to go ahead and reveal the real reason I have been haunted by the same wildstyle...
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Anonymous
-

once there were 3 and now there are 4
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Anonymous
-

The man whispered, "God, speak to me"
and a meadowlark sang.

But, the man did not hear. So the man yelled,
"God, speak to me"
and the thunder rolled across the sky.

But, the man did not listen. The man looked around and said,
"God let me see you." And a star shined brightly.

But the man did not see. And, the man shouted,
"God show me a miracle." And, a life was born.

But, the man did not notice. So, the man cried out in despair,
"Touch me God, and let me know you are here." Whereupon, God reached down and touched the man. But, the man brushed the butterfly away and walked on.
I found this to be a great reminder that God is always around us in the little and simple things that we take for granted ... even in our electronic age . so I would like to add one more:
The man cried,
"God, I need your help!"
And an e-mail arrived reaching out
with good news and encouragement.

But, the man deleted it and continued crying ...
Don't miss out on a blessing because it isn't packaged the way that you expect.

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Anonymous
-

blonde bride good
-------------
Anonymous
-

love is blonde
oh my god it is
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Anonymous
-

With all deliberate speed I glimpse you zip this way and that
Intent to make your mark in life too busy oft to chat
I'm not the only one who's said cool down your hectic pace
We seem to sense the stress and strain that's written on your face
I know your fears too well the one where dreams you never reach
I've lived it too, and picked up certain lessons I could teach
But how on earth will lessons learned from loved ones that you know
Be heard above the chaos as your life rocks to and fro?
Yes, keeping busy's fine but with no structure, plan or code
's like making time but learning late you're taking the wrong road
So slow down so you hear what those along life's highway shout
They might be earnest warnings that the bridge ahead is out!

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Anonymous
-

skitzophrenia perhaps?
hey sinclair
watch out for the bridge
oh look at that it's 10 after 1 in the after noon
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Anonymous
-

I played a game called disconnect
way back when I was five
My mind and me went separate ways
so both could stay alive

The body me and conscious me
for years we lived apart
Convening on occasion
when survival deemed it smart

This separation served me well
for refuge I could find:
In mind, relief from body's blows
in body, peace from mind

It never stopped my progress
on this plane of friend and foe
Through life and love I fooled them all
and no one seemed to know

I lived apart unconscious
never...fully...really...here
Reality was filtered
through a disengaged veneer

But now the threat is gone

No cause for such schemes to persist
It's madness to base actions
on false fears that don't exist

I sensed the day was nearing
fate and fact no fret or fight
A day when selves estranged too long
would finally reunite

So slowly they've been coming
former sparks for which I'd yearn
The days when life felt crisp and real
were starting to return

Well...

Today my person said hello!
And boy was I surprised
I hardly recognized me
for so long was I disguised

No longer playing disconnect
from games we now live free
We're living life as two through one
my person, yes, and m e

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Anonymous
-

jilla sniffer
-------------
.
-

we was watching the meshedgeinated story of willie mays,OH I meant "my dog skip" and the moonshine jug done got empty and the cleaners refused to put vineager in the wash even if I supplied the vineager at any price. "Do you know what it takes to remove the smell this vineager? Jackie chans rodie said across the counter what about these boogers? asked The Jilla sniffer,what kinda american greenbacks are we talking about here?

The triple ass heffer started to eat,well continued to eat, as it were.

Whats wrong with the triple assed heffer the jilla sniffer asked?"Oh the triple assed heffers brain in grease and lard" said the seinail old biddy who had a wonder aroama er stench coming from her cart.
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Anonymous
-

I'm not running anymore
I'm tired
my chest is burning
and you always catch up with me anyway
I dont see the point
in fighting something
I cant even deny
this time
dont let me catch my breath
just do it
-------------
kill me
-

It’s a Battle, The Battle...dip, shake, and rattle
Every noise goes unheard...only to clear is the flip boys swear word
As I walk these streets untouched by the legions of defeat...
Post pardon as if I can’t be breached...Saving the soul that the devil stole...
Protected by the savor of the Saviors…blood…
Crimson tie-died through thirty two layers…now comes the flood…
Tiptoe…never yo!...Loud as C.N.N. on game day…
With a flow…to help ya know…that you in the mix of a power play…
From within the mind and within the heart…the unseen grounds are torn apart…
Product: doom and gloom in the eye…sky’s are grey…
“It’s the world around you…It a be O.K.”
Lies…all…Lies…you can live today…fall to your knees…before you fall as prey…
…to the Prince of the air…to those times you cant bare…to “Life just isn’t fair”
Untapped authority you do share…
Stand up…for whets right…
Stand up…as a bright shining light in the night…
Stand up…for He has risen…
Break loose those chains…bring down those walls of your prison…
Swear the word…for it’s your decision…
The Living word…live life as a mission…
Pick up your cross…and follow Him…that is…JESUS…
The Battle is won…from within…He will lead us…
Cause…a life lived in sin…is the life He has freed us…
Planting this seed…in ground that the enemy has fled…
Come now Master…Impart on what has been said…
Closer to you…for the red, white, and blue…
For being all so true…and for being what you do…
Raise up the click…the band…that you might keep them as your right hand…
As it is your footprints in the sand…To shew unto all…You are the man…

-------------
DD
-

Sometimes we wonder, "What did I do to deserve this?" or "Why did God
have to do this to me?" Here is a wonderful explanation! A daughter is
telling her Mother how everything is going wrong, she's failing algebra, her
boyfriend broke up with her and her best friend is moving away.

Meanwhile, her Mother is baking a cake and asks her daughter if she would
like a snack, and the daughter says, "Absolutely Mom, I love your cake."

"Here, have some cooking oil," her Mother offers. "Yuck" says her
daughter.

"How about a couple raw eggs?" "Gross, Mom!"

"Would you like some flour then? Or maybe baking soda?" "Mom, those are
all yucky!"

To which the mother replies: "Yes, all those things seem bad all by
themselves. But when they are put together in the right way, they make a
wonderfully delicious cake!

God works the same way. Many times we wonder why He would let us go
through such bad and difficult times. But God knows that when He puts these
things all in His order, they always work for good! We just have to trust
Him and, eventually, they will all make something wonderful!

God is crazy about you. He sends you flowers every spring and a sunrise
every morning.

Whenever you want to talk, He'll listen. He can live anywhere in the
universe, and He chose your heart.

Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as
well dance.

-------------
Anonymous
-

trailer park womens pretty as garbage day eve
snot on the old womans fingers and shirt front but nothing on her sleeve
puts it in her ear pulls it out fast
puts it in her mouth long as it lasts
lies to the fat bitches until they believe
trailer park womens round here are pretty dang funny

never never the same
if you get up with womenfolk from yer own trailer park or coal camp the make you live in the south
thats the way uh huuh
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Anonymous
-

block the sun hide my eyes
what did I do to You god for this big surprise
rip out my eyes shove them on her salad plate
get a CDL to open her tailgate
some fat biotch
beached whale odor ankles swell
heffer
eat eat eat eat eat eat
hut hut hike
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Anonymous
-

you can lead a heffer to water
but to clean behind her ears you may need a car wash
some fat bitch
you can build a troft
pull a trailer
p uke
-------------
Anonymous
-

water retaining heffers
some fat biotch
water retaining heffers
some lard ass pig face squealing snitch
water retaining heffers
whoaaa whoaaa whooaa yeah
water retaining heffers
rolls of vericose decore
water retaining heffers
rolls and rolls of cottage cheese sweating out of the pores
water retaining heffers
gonna need potato chips
some big sloppy mess

-------------
Anonymous
-

I cannot offer you wealth or fame.
On the world's social register,
There's no mention of my name!
Dear, I want to be honest with you,
Right from the start.
I don't have much gold or silver,
But, I'll give you my heart!

We can't go on vacation to London or Rome,
To see "Big Ben" or a cathedral's majestic dome.
Our excursions in the future,
May be only a few miles apart.
But, I promise to stay close by you,
And give you my heart!

I'll do my very best to be a Godly man,
And to love, honor, and protect you,
The best that I can!
Our love will be a symphony, a beautiful work of art,
Beginning the very moment,
I give you my h eart!

-------------
Anonymous
-

Thou Cassandra,Is not life itself less than Your great beauty? The heavens from which You have been extracted leave the other angels in the background mere extras.Unworthy of Your spit,I ask for Your hand or Thoust holy lapdance,For there is no other high tempature valentine that busts my heart open and leaves my mind dreaming Your name.
-------------
Doctor Catsburger
-

Dose it seem to you as well...
that several of your thoughts are unanswered and fatal when swallowed?
Does it seem to you as well...
that off a cliff your "friends" just followed?
Does it seem to you as well...
that camp fires burn forever when they are not put out?
Does it seem to you as well...
that you offer nothing in return and can’t be heard...even when you shout?
Does it seem to you as well...
that most the affection that you retrieve...infected reflection...you’re only deceived?
Does it seem to you as well...
that when Adam fell...our due reward is to end up in HELL?
Does it seem to you as well...
that love is what you claim to sell...but when love is all we need...
that’s when you start to bail?
Does it seem to you as well...
that the life you live the game...of...going off the rails on a crazy train?
Does it seem to you as well...
that what you really need...you don’t posses...and...
the more you take...the bigger the mess?
If this be you...that feeds off the zoo...then ask for love...and seek the truth...against the grain...and keep your sanity...stand out from the rest of this inhumane humanity...be born of Him...uproot the weed...you cant know Him...because of your good deed...be a faithful servant...not of this world...
Alien you say?
...I say...O.K.?

-------------
DD
-

YOU ARE A WOMAN WITH THAT SAVOIR-FAIRE...Posture,
turning heads.

A WOMAN WITH THAT SEXUAL DARE..your alluring powers are everywhere.

A woman that woman

A WOMAN IN MANY MANY WAYS
A WOMAN WHO CAN PUT ANY MAN IN A DAAAAAAZEEEEEEEEE
YOU ARE..THAT (french woman) THAT MAN SEEK.
YOU ARE REALLY VERY VERY UNIQUE.
A WOMAN...BEFORE AND AFTER THE LOOKING GLASS....
AS WOMAN YOU SHOW SUCH CLASS...

YOU HAVE THAT SMILE..WHICH WILL MAKE THE SUN....HIDE IT's FACE.

YOU ARE THE SWEET OF THE SWEETS CONCERNING YOUR PAST..
YOU ARE...I SAY..A REAL WOMAN IN PLAY...AS SOMEONE I AM LEARNNG EACH DAY...YOU ARE A FRIEND IN MANY MANY WAYS...YOU ARE MY GIRL.

YOU ARE TRULY GOD'S GIFT TO THIS WORLD

WHEN IT SEEMS LIKE RAIN...YOU HELP TO EASE AND SOOTHE MY PAINS...YOU....ARE GODS BETTER CREATION...I AM LUCKY TO HAVE YOU NEAR AND THAT IS RARE FOR YOU ARE THE WOMAN WITH THE SAVOIR-FAIRE...Posture, turning heads.

swtlamb@yahoo.com
-------------
whisperkwane
-

Searching the Sunday morning website
As if you were to be in the lost and found
Upon this very page I did start to write
All those faithful passages as I drowned
Every notion every cry that gives off light
The inner dwelling of growth and excelling
Rooted in worship, accuracy, and what is right
Knowledge is king not checking my spelling
Desperately seeking to be freed in His sight
Let Freedom Ring was the pause before sound
Please listen in as this story I am telling
4 anyone thinking their alone in this fight
Pick up your cross is what I'm yelling
Take cover as we prepare for the final round
Protection is granted by day and by night
For He is risen and he has been defeated
Final Destination...pick it up and read it
Only on one side can you choose to be
My friend…lost in sin
I never did find you but you Found me

-------------
DD
-

This life has roads to travel
with much scenery to the side
with no real destination
just relax, enjoy the ride
This life has races for others
out in front they lead the pack
ever watchful for who's gaining
so they're always looking back
This life has wars some live
upon a constant battlefield
ambushed at any moment
by new enemies revealed
This life has shows for watching
keeps some always on the fringe
Observers, not involved
until the final act begins
This life has dreams for some
all's just a fantasy they say
Merrily thinking what they do
won't matter anyway
This life has mazes and mystery’s
sets some always on a quest
In constant search for answers
seeking truths not yet expressed
This life has nature's fury
for so many is the norm
while buffeted and battered
they're the center of the storm
This life has mere existence
with no purpose or pursuit
Who knows, perhaps, not sure? Oh well
The question might be moot
This life has roller coaster rides
Ah; now the games begin
A crazy, topsy-turvy ride
Let's go! Have fun! Hop in!
This life has tests, (my favorite)
yes, this view has served me well
a grade for every challenge faced
I pass it and excel
No right or wrong perhaps
but for the happiness you seek
Do current choices bring you bliss
or do they make life bleak?

-------------
Anonymous
-

smoking causes ladies to get nice handsome crewcuts!
-------------
Anonymous
-

my will to be good is being outweighed by evil today
I know though that every chance goodness gets its trying
to make a comeback into my life so that I don't have strife

My energies are always on and trying to interact with everything else around but the moment I am plugged in is when evil appears to try and disconnect my connection with all that is right

constant battle ensues forever making it hard to sleep at night because I am afraid I will not wake up but why if I cannot control such properties then would you also take from me a chance to be happy

I am confused and my circuits are smoking off all of the art inside my beautiful mind and now no matter what I do I am only allowed to look at satifaction from the side line median

Give me what I want which is only all good and take back the meaningless thoughts you plagued me with for the time has arrived for me to stay focused on truth no matter what the cost

You share with me nothing of value and its to the point that I now must cut my loss in order to regain what you tossed to the median that day many moons ago

Let us be rich in every sense of the word and in return I will always to my best to serve you like I know I should if you would just let me understood?

-------------
Anonymous
-

i aint happy about shit because i live with the rottenist dirtiest back stabbing manipulating puppeteers aro und
-------------
Anonymous
-

Is anyone happier because you passed this way?

Does anyone remember that you spoke to him today?

Can you say tonight, in parting with the day that is slipping fast,

That you helped a single person of the many that you passed ?

Is a single heart rejoicing over what you did or said?

Does the man whose hopes were fading, now in courage look ahead?

Did you leave a trail of kindness or a scar of discontent?

As you close your eyes in slumber, do you think that God will say,

You have earned one more tomorrow by the work you did today.

-------------
Anonymous
-

bo boce sucks worse than you ever di d
-------------
Anonymous
-

HE IS MY AMERICAN IDOL

BO BICE.......i cannot begin to say how much you resmble 2 different guys that i used to know, love, lust and stalk... i need to meet you BO BICE!!!
-------------
Anonymous
-

and thats why god made bullets
-------------
Anonymous
-

noraclaremqrcmiakrgbhnn
-------------
noarc claremaercb
-

that line of response is so typical of Dr. Gail because just last week she told my friend that my friend was
exhibiting obsessive behaviour everytime my friend thought about her ex friend. I wonder then what is
beyond obsessive or if there is such a beyondness because my whole existence is based on my old friend.
-------------
Anonymous
- Thursday, April 22, 2004 at 13:49:55 (PDT)
-------------
Anonymous
-

Im walking and im stalking
but never talking until the
day I approached you to fuck

keep in mind that had I not have stalked you you would never have known what it was like to fuck me and I know that you enjoyed yourself because you even thanked me for stalking you
-------------
Anonymous
-

stalker
-------------
Anonymous
-

mornin' maam,sorry bout the enlongated triple ass trailer youve got to pull behind you there
-------------
Anonymous
-

HERMAPHRODYKE,HERMAPHRODYKE fuzzy
does her shitternet puppeteering and spy reporting
like a church monkey fuzzy

HERMAPHRODYKE,HERMAPHRODYKE fuzzy
does her shitternet puppeteering and spy reporting
like a church monkey fuzzy
-------------
,.{
-

see how i ryhymed fuzzy with fuzzy?
-------------
Anonymous
-

herpaphadyke, herpaphadyke fuzzy
does her shitternet puppeteering and spy reporting
like a church monkey fuzzy

herpaphadyke, herpaphadyke fuzzy
does her shitternet puppeteering and spy reporting
like a church monkey fuzzy

-------------
this is dedicated to women with handsome crew cuts and the occasional bald spot
-

Johnny Hollywood begat the tattoo ,a red heart and in big letters inside the heart it read "FAT BITCHES"
then at the top was the feathered part of an arrow and on the bottom,coming out the other side was the arrow head.
-------------
:
-

your such a dumbass
-------------
Anonymous
-

I heard a real cat fight the other night
and from what I could hear the one cat
had its heard gathered around making all
kinds of hissing sounds while salvating
on the ground

you strike a chord
because I struck a nerve
now I strike a match while
you try to strike up a conversation
and that strikes me as "odd"

I have been striked in the face
but never been struck by lightning
although I am struck by familarity
because your rudeness has a striking
resemblance to that of which I faced
the day you told me to my face at your
place that you had fallen from grace only
to be demonized by something that only you
could taste while the rest of us are left
here to watch you turn your life into a waste

Was it love or just plain ol lust
I was never able to tell for I
was the one who always clung onto a must
what I do know though is that there is dust
all over our fantasy and that is not just
all that I know you know as I know that you know that I know that it is you and you and me and always has been and always will be because you are a person who sees even across the seas I know you know I now sing my ab c's.
-------------
Anonymous
-

The brainwash is pervasive
it's everywhere you go
It seeps into the mind
in subtle ways you'll never know
It's written in the schoolbooks
by now the deck is stacked
Agendas passed for truth
and then the bias became fact
But who shall lead the charge
and give the emperor his pants?
And who will take the actions
well beyond the rants and chants?
Without a new agenda
every person becomes pawn
We'll close ears, eyes and lips
and then our children carry on
It's time to stop the madness
and reverse this steep decline
So choose a cause that's close to heart
then let your courage shine
In lands with laws where lies are king
the truth tends to subvert
But all you need to change the world
is just one to convert!

-------------
Anonymous
-

this really happened to me yesterd ay
....................

http ://www.wimp.com/smooth/

-------------
Anonymous
-

lets sort the issues
every woman is mad at me
because thay have a big ass
this is now my fault
some how someway
I made the 1st xtard fat
I made the next tard fat
I even made the crackwhore fat
and now everyone is fat
and mad at me
because I dont want some fat bitch I am lied about
and spread rumours about by some forked tounged piece of dirt
am I not bad enough that complete bullshit has to be fabricated about me by some fat bitch because I dont want rolls of stinking fat?
You see I paid my dues with fat bitches early on in life
why do I have to keep paying the fat ass dues
they are paid
and some bitches have an ass thats two cat boxes wide
thats my fault again
Yeah I caused it
you know how some people rust cars
I make heffers fat
yep thats me
Mornin maam sorry bout yer great big double wide ass
Good Morning Ma'am he says as he tips his hat
I am truely sorry that Your ass is two cat boxes wide
Well How doo? sorry bout yer great big ass,ma'am
could this ever be enough?No because I am right now causing these fat fucks to gain even more weight
I just cant stop HAHAAHHAHAHAAHAHAH
Its me I did it HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
Oh my God triple wide ass grande senioritas Mucho grande griengas, Me! oye veh the bagel ass has mucho dupa creame cheese.

thats one issue
the other is that your not giving me any hallmark cards these days its like you just dont give a rats ass
or your mad because I made all the womenfolk in this here holler and in yourn holler get a humounga -ass
-------------
>}
-

your news is worthy of my ear and time
I just wish I had more space to see your face
when I tell you that I am a manic depressive schitozphren ic
-------------
Anonymous
-

Even if you just say hi

just because you are a prisoner of your own mind
does not give you the right to hold me hostage
while you try and sort all of your issues out
and so what I propose you do is treat your problem
as if you would when you are folding laundry and by
using the same organizational logic, you can put your
issues into piles whereby you will be able to see them
on their own plus how they all interconnect and from that moment on you will not be able to put them away into their respective drawers until you have introduced yourself to each and everyone of them
-------------
Anonymous
-

I am amazed and confused about obsessive conpulsiveness
for what is the reason and why for so long would anyone
entertain the same thought and act out this thought a
certain number of times before they could mentally and
physically continue to the next thought in their mind
whereby again they will be focused on it until they get it right ... what the
-------------
Anonymous
-

Mar's

there once was an us
going places by bus
not knowing about fuss
or who was Russ
we just had lust
and never cussed
yes I had puss
but you are the one
who knew how to hussle
and I don't mean to
imply that you were fast
on your feet because you only
knew that for your mind and over
time you wore down the system
and caused a third world war
that spanned across the land
7 thousand and 77 feet and lasted
long enough for those around you
to bussle their hearts into a series of panic attacks
-------------
Anonymous
-

I am tired all the time
from not taking time for self
so once in awhile I should just
take the train located inside
my brain and runaway like a
confused young bride but what
good will come from hiding
me out of sight from all the
demands I have placed on me
because in the end they will
be there waiting patiently for
my care which now-a-days is so rare
to find so I just better not leave
them behind to fend for themselves
and ultimately I just better forgive
for forgetting myself

-------------
Anonymous
-

i sold my soul when I sold my home
and now I am condemned to a life of honesty
but I cannot say I was handed a shitty
bill of goods although I do know they all wish for
me to come good on all my bills and therefore I must
do the right thing and recite the bill of rights
on this very cold night.......I decide to shave
not one but three seven's into my hair that is under
my pony's tail

-------------
Anonymous
-

I have not played mind games with any one
if i care i do if i dont then why would i waste my time on it

again if i cared i would not play a game

so be sure your done
-------------
Anonymous
-

Oh thy Goddess Cassandra
how could another stand in Your shadow
on the same plateu
let the bitter ugliness of the heffer sows bow to thee

let the big asses blind someone eles mind
they can not compete
unless they contest and the challenge is to eat

let them bitch and complain for they have not the beauty the art which is collected in Your soul

let the dog ugly bitches cast a stone into the mirror reflecting the truth they can not stand to bear
for there is not another that could eclipse one second we have shared.

Oh Thy Goddess Cassandra
this world is only shit and You only You are the only beauty in it
-------------
TRC TCB CTB believe
-

The Bible in 50 Words

God made
Adam bit
Noah arked
Abraham split
Joseph ruled
Jacob fooled
Bush talked
Moses balked
Pharaoh plagued
People walked
Sea divided
Tablets guided
Promise landed
Saul freaked
David peeked
Prophets warned
Jesus born
God walked
Love talked
Anger crucified
Hope died
Love rose
Spirit flamed
Word spread
God remained.

-------------
Anonymous
-

Twelve Years,

Yes and does thoust whore have a last request?
-------------
Anonymous
-

darrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
-------------
Anonymous
-

or 5 or 6
that I played mind games with 1 was not playing games 1 that mattered
-------------
Anonymous
-

well thAT MAKES ONLY TWO PEOPLE YOU COULD BE or 3 or four
-------------
Anonymous
-

i thought we met in 1993 ... so that would make it that we have been messin with each other's heads for 12 y ears
-------------
Anonymous
-

I'm not going to kill You for playing mind games with me for the past 7 years
-------------
Anonymous
-

another reason to shave your head...

no more peanutbutter and hair sa ndwiches
-------------
Anonymous
-

magic
and your worshipping thoughts

the discordance that brought about
terror in plain daylight

twisting and conforming
placed within your hands
and in my book
we only discriminate in microtones
but it echoes in the corridors for all to hear

I left the candles behind
set apart to retrace the paths
I blindly led before

I conflict with me
in the shadows of this blessed shame

I yet regret what I am

-------------
E
-

Carmen and Stanley sitting in a tree
k-i-s-s-i-n-g
first comes love
then comes inbreeding
thats just the way thems hillbillies be's sometimes
YEEEEEEEEE HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Giddie up little doggie

MOOOOOOOOO MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOO
-------------
:
-

in this dream sherri brings the $349.00 she owes me and we all live happily ever after
-------------
Anonymous
-

Yeah it sucks to be You but at least you didnt have 4 surgerys on your left breast and 3 surgerys on your right breast and still be dog ugly
-------------
Anonymous
-

sick in the head from the cat box
-------------
Anonymous
-

No results were found for the search term lesbian frindge the 52nd year anniversary handsome crew cuts.
-------------
Anonymous
-

rs
I am mess wit you da best
you are mess wit me the best
then it is yes
-------------
Anonymous
-

When things in your lives seem almost too much to handle, when
24 hours in a day are not enough, remember
the mayonnaise jar and the 2 cups of coffee.

A professor stood before his philosophy class
and had some items in front of him. When the class began,
he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar
and proceeded to fill it with golf balls.

He then asked the students if the jar was full.
They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them
into the jar. He shook the jar lightly.
The pebbles rolled into the open
areas between the golf balls.

He then asked the students again if the jar
was full. They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and
poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand
filled up everything else.

He asked once more if the jar was full.
The students responded with an unanimous "yes."

The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the
table and poured the entire contents into
the jar effectively filling the empty space between the sand.

The students laughed.

"Now," said the professor as the laughter subsided, "I want
you to recognize that this jar represents your life.
The golf balls are the important things---God, your family,
your children, your health, your friends and
your favorite passions---and if everything else was
lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.

The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job,
your house and your car.

The sand is everything else---the small stuff. "If you put
the sand into the jar first," he continued,
"there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls.
The same goes for life. If you spend all your
time and energy on the small stuff you will never
have room for the things that are important to you.

"Pay attention to the things that are critical to your
happiness. Play with your children.
Take time to get medical checkups.
Take your spouse out to dinner. Play another 18.
There will always be time to
clean the house and fix the disposal.
Take care of the golf balls first---the things that really matter.
Set your priorities. The rest is just sand."

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the
coffee represented. The professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked.

It just goes to show you that no matter
how full your life may seem, there's always room
for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend."

-------------
Anonymous
-

i fuc carmens ass i come like oklahoma blass smoke grass is all i need litlle bit of weed then i can fly like a plane in air..
-------------
king of the bongo
-

the truth that keeps me humble kept me so honest and so cured

-------------
Anonymous
-

how i feel its nessesary to react strangly to what is so promisingly neglegent inspired progress

the tale that set the sea was vanished with un refrained attention

who am i to see that all good strangers become remorse

keep un mind the sudden sadness

count on your countless regard to hold

see that your patience becomes enforced

hold on now because the inocent dream that held me still-still belows with envy at the sight of another beast
-------------
chachi charms
-

rs get yer wedding dress
-------------
Anonymous
-

what art?
-------------
Anonymous
-

My mistake was not loving you
it was continuing to
even after you were gone

please continue to leave
one day I will get it right

I think he loves me more now than
you maybe ever did

-------------
Pretynd
-

where did that come from

spratic rage showing its face
I am everything but a headcase
this will be something I need to face
and I am running out of time in this race
please I have fallen from grace and need
to come back to my original place

what first shall I read that will help me redeem
there is so much to be repentful for I want to scream
but instead I will continue to write right now and that will help to release my emotional steam

Look at you ~ you are just letting yourself go....Eyah, I know but what do I do now that I do not have you?
-------------
Anonymous
-

I slither like a worm
but I am not of both sexes
at anytime
They say I look the way
I do because of the way
I talk
I say let's just F**k

-------------
dipp i d do da dipp i day
-

Isn't that wild

Do people really take the time
go over all of open mic's rhymes
I wonder then if they do, do they
see the crimes against love and hate
or all of the debates this website
creates while all the while its only
purpose was to connect potential mates
Do their eyes get a glimpse of the sadness
state that everyone is in to some degree or another
Or maybe it is a mistake and everyone of us is a fake
trying to go unoticed while havin some fun kickin it old style

I have mastered the keyboard
and it only took me four years
during high school to now know
where every letter is also another
thing I have conquered over time is
the ability to look at each letter and
find a corresponding word beginning with
that letter only to use it as a first or
continuing word rhyme

yes of course I always make use of the keyboard
in such a way that it becomes a thesaurus for my
eyes and mind to repeat
-------------
Anonymous
-

not wanting to entertain these thoughts
I proceed to do a jig in the middle of the room
but it never worked so here I am and I am afraid
I have brought with me these very thoughts

I am always afraid that I am going to get caught
for if you open that drawer you will find alot
and with all do respect I do not traught
but I have always fought with myself and the world

I have a place here too you know
I just wish it were so dang hot
many thoughts go down for the jot
even though they are not real

there is a dot in the middle of an eye
what do you suppose it looks like inside
when you pierce right through to the core
innocence or guilt is what I am sure of

staying kewl is harder than I thought
the heat is starting to make me rot
someone please get me off this pot
no wait I need one more big bot

-------------
Anonymous
-

i went out wit trav and I can just walk my fat ass back into his life anytime I want
-------------
Anonymous
-

Suppose it’s never granted?
What then, friend, I need to know
Will others’ limitations
hold the key to how you grow?
Suppose you never hear it?
and each shoulder tapped is cold
If no consent’s forthcoming
will you put your life on hold?
No venture view or voyage
worth the effort or the pain
Is ever set about
Without first breaking through some chain
The world maintains its status quo
through those of lemming will
And shuns and shames the maverick heart
With dreams they must fulfill
But you, my friend, shall supersede
all barriers and extremes
For waiting for permission’s
not the way you build your dreams

-------------
Anonymous
-

Dose it seem to you as well...that several of your thoughts are unanswered and fatal when swallowed?
Does it seem to you as well...that off a cliff your "friends" just followed?
Does it seem to you as well...that camp fires burn forever when they are not put out?
Does it seem to you as well...that you offer nothing in return and cant be heard...even when you shout?
Does it seem to you as well...that most the effection that you retreive...infected reflection...your only deceived?
Does it seem to you as well...that when Adam fell...our due reward is to end up in HELL?
Does it seem to you as well...that love is what you claim to sell...but when love is all we need...thats when you start to bail?
Does it seem to you as well...that the life you live's a game...of...going off the rails of a crazy train?
Does it seem to you as well...that what you realy need...you dont posses...and...the more you take...the bigger the mess?
If this be you...that feeds off the zoo...then ask for love...and seek the truth...against the grain...and keep your sanity...stand out from the rest of this inhumane humanity...be born of Him...uproot the weed...you cant know Him...because of your good deed...be a faithful servent...not of this world...alien you say...I say...O.K.?

-------------
DD
-

You not going to wear that to the "Last welfare check in the United States went to an Illegal Alien Day Parade"? are you
-------------
Anonymous
-

Sweet Bertha's Great Big Ass,Would You just hurry up!
-------------
Anonymous
-

I see You did'nt capitalize the G in Goddess
-------------
Anonymous
-

"HA HA HA HA HA"

Dear Travis Ray Cole,

Thank you for submitting work to The Cortland Review. We regret that we are unable to accept your work "The Last Job in The United States has been taken By An Illegal Alien Day Parade" at this time and that the overwhelming volume of material submitted to us necessitates the use of this form.

Please keep in mind that we publish writing we believe most appropriate
to TCR's style, interests, and editorial tastes for each issue.
Therefore, rejection does not necessarily imply lack of merit.

In order to keep the submission process fair to everyone, we ask that
you please wait at least six months to one year before submitting
additional work.

The Cortland Review

-------------
:Ahahhahahah HAHAHAAHAHAHHhhahhhHHheheahhahaah Oh!
-

Can that which is unsavoury be eaten without salt? or is there any taste in the white of an egg? The things that my soul refused to touch are as my sorrowful meat. Oh that I might have my request; and that God would grant me the thing that I long for! Even that it would please God to destroy me; that he would let loose his hand, and cut me off! Then should I yet have comfort; yea, I would harden myself in sorrow: let him not spare; for I have not concealed the words of the Holy One.
What is my strength, that I should hope? and what is mine end, that I should prolong my life? Is my strength the strength of stones? or my flesh of brass? Is not my help in me? and is wisdom driven quite from me?
To him that is afflicted pity should be shewed from his friend; but he forsaketh the fear of the Almighty. My brethren have delt deceitfully as a brook, and as the stream of brooks they pass away; Which are blackish by reason of the ice, and wherein the snow is hid: What time they wax warm, they vanish: when it is hot, they are consumed out of their place. The paths of their way are turned aside; they go to nothing, and perish.
-------------
Job
-

if I could fuck myself...I wouldn't need you .. so instead I will just have a nice day... 8~)
-------------
Anonymous
-

have a nice FUCK YOU
-------------
Anonymous
-

pain
stay away
or I'll break you
your brain
and your mind fuck cha ins
-------------
Anonymous
-

goodbye
in no ones eyes
no big surprise
all you offer is lies
-------------
Anonymous
-

gone
long gone
you took to long
we never had no song

-------------
Anonymous
-

over
very over
not talking about red rover
-------------
Anonymous
-

fun done run one

-------------
Anonymous
-

Thats just the love spell I accident ly
-------------
Anonymous
-

I know you want me for I can see it in your eyes
so don't try to hide your passion for me because
it will only dry you up inside so you decide if I
should be your guide through the world of ecstasy

I am under attack from an invisible force
its grip is too powerful for me to defeat
it is coming for me I am therefore beat
-------------
Anonymous
-

I was so happy when I figured out it was you because it
-------------
-
-

I stay calm, cool, and collected
Reflecting on that which has yet to be reflected
Because I stay ahead of the game
The game of life
The game of struggle, fighting, and strife

Struggle?
Yeah I'm struggling
And fighting
But I am surviving

I'll keep shooting these bullets of authenticity
And I won't let no one sway me
or play me
betray me
degrade me

Because I AM A QUEEN

Either fuck with me or get fucked
I'm not talkin about kissin, caressin, and gettin your dick sucked

But fucked
by these mind blowing, amazing words blazing from my pen or mouth

And you will hear me out
Because I bite my tongue for no one
And I'm still standing.
-------------
Megan
-

Like a puppet on a string
I jump around when prompted
to do most anything all it
takes is some good mental and
physical coordination on the
part of who has hold of me
Words are dangerous when
repeated often a certain way
never again will I be the same
because your selfishness has
overtaken my brain and is trying
to force me to go insane
with each passing day
my world is turning grey
chaotic by nature is currently
what I am supporting in terms of
allowing it to happen to me
if I think it does that mean it's
true because the more I stew over it
the bluer the sun does become for me
so don't hand me no picture showing
golden long grass growing peacefully
in the meadows with all the tall trees
for that is not and will never be our reality
and you are only making things worse between
you and me by obligating me to see what could never be

with my new hyper sensitive night wear I am now able to see the passion that just sits in your heart waiting to be released onto someone who is just as free but I know that at this time you have no idea it is me that will be tugging away at your heart strings for approximately eternity or at least until you cannot take it anymore
and you decide to seal the broken door that I caused when I did an illegal entry into your home so that I could watch you from afar playing your guitar and just right there I needed a pause as my brain was working to hard and needed to catch up to what you are doing right now while at the same time my mind is trying to forget about all of my spelling crimes.

If the opportunity ever presented itself you know don't you that I would be all over you like a fly stuck to a flytrap or an ant trapped in a anttrap or better yet I am positive that if you were to take me I would swallow you up as if I were a whale who was busy consuming it's morning meal. I am underrated as far as you are concerned and that concerns me because I am already worried about what you would do to handle yourself against my duct tape hold if I were to gain access to you. Many mornings will have come and gone before you realize that I am thrilled to no end about the fact that I can come in and go out of your life without you even knowing it.

I am at battle with myself because my mind has split today
there are two voices instead of just mine and this worries me
because if I loose to another voice which has no face then
what it will mean is that I had no claim on my mind to begin with
and that the steak I placed into the ground so long ago in here
has rotted away taking with it all of my proof that one day ago
I did come here and toil in order to pound it into the soil of my mind
but like I said now I come back and find another coiled around the seeds
so much so that they are beginning to split and bleed and so I guess that is
how I now own another voice inside my head or at least until I outdo it through
war and acting like a beast

I have so much to say and just simply not enough time to say it in
but that is still no cause for me to fret
because I can always summerize it
into a short booklet

I am proud of who I have become because of you
and this feeling can never be taken from me
I just won't let it I am that strong
so hopefully they will just leave me be

I am sweating so hard and fast that it looks like I could pass for a lawn sprinkler
I can hear them in the distance and they are by no means far behind
there is no way to cover up my scent so I will just have to keep moving and not pay my rent and for that I am sorry lord but I am busy travelling the land in order to get rid of them so maybe you can give me a hand when it comes time to hide in the quicksand

Why do you run with them in their pack? Is it because you will never be attacked? How so is it that you know this to be a fact? Why don't you just go back to Iraq...for you lack what it takes to be a westerner and it ain't going to happen by you just changing your name to Jack or by buying daily big macs and I am afraid that it won't occur even if you become a driver of a mac

-------------
Anonymous
-

backwards day yet again
where does it stop
need to take control
over my devilish soul

consumed by something
I fear for myself
a life of intimidation
if this act I do not drop

like a tree sloth I move about
weeks go by with no friends
and the end result becomes
the unwanted emotion of frustration

Coming undone I look like a top toy
spinning and unwinding so fast that
even a tornado was impressed by the
speed of my twirling thoughts

what is it that plagues me
and why do I feel not alone
when in actuality that is
all that I have known

I know I have done so many wrong
and that redemption is the only
path that will return me back to
innocense which is also a song

I am not what I think I have become
which is a person who cannot love
themselves because the guilt I carry
weighs more than a ton

will the thoughts of lust ever disappear
when will the images of you leave
right about now anything is what I believe
when it comes to what I fear

how soon does this invisible hold multiply
for days now its squease has been tightnening
as if someone had my mind in a vice grip
and at times it is rather frightnening

Am I really in denial of what it absolutely is
I am parted like the red sea on how to fix this
there needs to be an elimination of what is evil
and a growth of good must now sprout

smoking what is located in the forest
was not his intention for me
neither was your spell that convicted
me to run always from the hounds of hell

I am tired of being sick and tired
I demand you leave my mind
in fact I am firing you now you have no choice
remember I am built like a rolls royce

And as such I am soft to the touch
but I work out much which allows me
to draw my srength from this crutch
but not no more I ain't no dutch

-------------
Anonymous
-

You remember when I took You to where they rent boats and we did not go out in one
-------------
Anonymous
-

because you threw yourself at me like a baseball I had no choice but to catch you before you slammed right into my heart. In my glove of love you do rest until you decide to run which at that point to someone else I will have to shoot you off like I would my gun.
-------------
Anonymous
-

My mind cannot afford another ticket from racing all the time from the thoughts I think about when it comes to you and I

As soon as I fall asleep I am taken to the dark side where you are there waiting to further escort me to a place where only ecstacy lives

during our dream date we also discovered the erotic nature we have for each other when we pulled over and then in we went to find out how long we could test drive highway 69.

I am so desperate for your touch that I think later I will watch flicks about dicks while I wait for you toe enter into my mind
-------------
Anonymous
-

Death and destruction now covet the land
Satan has appeared who has taken a stand
Leaders are falling from both near and far
With many great losses from nuclear war
Crops are failing - famine is on rise
Satan is leading and telling more lies
All from the start he’s been setting the stage
As panic grows widespread from evil and rage
Oceans that boil – the earth is on fire
So many are dying from what Satan conspires
Quakes, winds, blizzards, and rains
So much is now gone with many lives claimed
Red turns the moon and black turns the sun
Rocks fall to earth with no where to run
Bodies lie rotting, all taken by plague
And those once with so much, today they all beg
Computers are crashing – Wall Street is no more
Things will not be as they once were before
There will be no escape – there is no where to hide
Causing numbers to rise from mass suicide
The dead have now risen, those Satan enlists
To continue a war where so little exists

-------------
Anonymous
-

therefore allowing me to participate in unorthodox acts
of experimentation

somewhere during my life my conscience disappeared

in my opinion time is well spent but really that's why
others do not understand as it is because of the issue
of us all naked and bend out of normal shape

I have eyes like a corvette
shining and definite
-------------
Anonymous
-

I thought the HAVE would make me happy
So I toiled in search of things
Learning not too soon but sadly
of the fleeting joy it brings
I thought the BE would make me happy
So I postured and I posed
Living lies and learning late
I'm still by any name a rose
I found the DO has made me happy
Thus I've found what has been true
Happy's not a place or thing you hold
but journeys you go through

-------------
Anonymous
-

shure
-------------
Anonymous
-

life again at given time

I do not know what more to say
Because you never put your shoes on mine.
You will never feel the pain I have been thru
Because you never see me cry.

You could wipe out my tears but you’ll never understand
I do not know what else could break my heart,
For I have fallen and my faith is queried.

It was an angel’s life shinning with mine
It was my light that has gone not yours,
It was my distress, my own losing & my life
That I dreamed to place into my arms and heart.

What more you should know?
That I sometime, I wanted to give up my life
For the one I love and to have my life back.
If I answer you, can you put it all back?

It would not matter to me now
For I will not question why….
Because I know one day and just one day
I knew & I will have life again at given time.

- All rights reserved, © alfe chelena
-------------
alfechelena
-

your game is no where until i know who you are
-------------
Anonymous
-

I know that feeling with me it was like three blondes and a bleach blond my mind going back and forth then to put it in over drive overdose a red head to eclispe these blondes so I prescribe to you a red head
and no I'm not a red head but be careful because if You take to breeding the offspring could be left handed
-------------
Doctor Catsburger
-

i am so saturated in guilt
over so many things that I
am finding it hard to cope

I know what I ought not to do
but with my mind and thoughts
there is ping pong going on &
in the end it's the latter who
outwins the former and with that
comes me saughting after what I
haven't got and better yet what
I should never have too
-------------
Anonymous
-

at the crossroads the only leads are mine
to you they are
for no other inspiration has ever been so fine
-------------
Anonymous
-

i got a nice handsome crewcut
you can see my ears

i dont know what a lint trap is
to beat my record
you would have to be stupid for years

having a brain cell is one of my greatest fears

i got a handsome crewcut
you can see my ears
-------------
Anonymous
-

what the fuck do you want from me?
go fuck your self
-------------
Anonymous
-

I watch you watching me
both of us can agree we
see ourselves in amongst
all of the gases surrounding
those distant stars and now
I know I am beyond what I
know now about current existence
and the fact that you are there too
is a blessing in and of it self
-------------
Anonymous
-

Dear Fergie,
I just love your video "Lets get it started" and I have seen you voice work in the charlie brown cartoons in the eightys when you were sally.You are the best! good luck with the tree and the johnny appleseed meets george washington thing
-------------
Anonymous
-

The life size figure of Jesus Christ protrudes mysteriously from a knotted growth in an old tree in this tiny Roman Catholic Cemetery located in Quincy, Illinois USA (pop. 40,000) which is nestled in West Central Illinois along the Mississippi River.

A cemetery worker first discovered the phenomenon a few years ago. He stood in awe upon making the discovery and kept the secret to himself for several days before sharing it with others. The miraculous image cannot be fully appreciated unless one stands at a certain distance and angle thereby explaining why the figure had not been discovered earlier.

Both the Quincy Herald-Whig newspaper and KHQA television station ran stories on it and provided coverage. When word got out people flocked to the cemetery to see the spectacular site. According to Ruby Cookson, a spokesman for the Roman Catholic Cemetery Association nearly 2,000 people were visiting daily and in a very short time, the guest book located next to the tree had acquired over 30,000 signatures, however, many people visiting did not sign. As of July 1998 there were signatures from 48 states including Alaska and Hawaii and 20 foreign countries.

The tree which has acquired the name of "The Jesus Tree" is also known by many in the area as "The Good Shepherd Tree."

A fence was placed around the tree to provide some protection because people were peeling pieces of bark from the tree to take home as souvenirs. There was also concern because the grounds around the tree had been worn bare by the many thousands of visitors who visited each week.

People have hung crosses on the image, others have laid bouquets of flowers at the foot, and some have gone so far as to leave stuffed animals and photos of loved ones.

The first time I visited the site..... I immediately saw what everyone had been talking about. Here was a life size figure of Jesus embedded within a huge knot in an old tree. One can quickly see the image of Jesus cradling what appears to be a lamb. The head of the lamb is visible directly above the folded arms of Jesus. Jesus is attired in a long robe and has a staff beside Him, which seems to be leaning on the right side of the tree. It was very obvious to me that the tree has been untouched as far as anyone trying to alter its make up in order for it to appear the way it does.

Has it evolved through natural means or perhaps through some divine intervention? Feelings are varied but most walk away with a lingering thought in their minds and that is the figure of Jesus does seem to be outlined in the bark and protruding from the knot of the tree.

One of the notes that stood out in the guest book was that of a mysterious fellow who visited on Sept. 05, 1998.

Could this man have been a Messenger sent from God???? Please take a moment to read the words he wrote as shared with me by Ruby Cookson, a spokesman for the Roman Catholic Cemetery Assn. in Quincy, Illinois.
***** *******************************************************

9/5/98 "Teach repentance and the remission of sin in this country that has turned its back on God (even to the point of condoning same sex marriages). I tell you to prepare for the coming of Jesus Christ. The hand of God will deal with this vile perverted ness. God said, "If you belong to me, you will bring up My name."

Without delays seek Jesus Christ more than you have ever considered doing so. Understand the only power the devil has is the power you give him. God doesn't care about yesterday. Come to His Son with true repentance today. If you continue putting Him off, you will surely go to Hell.

God said to take a strong stand against evil, so do it! Sometimes love requires correction. Be gentle and be firm with God's law and understand there is no middle place. You are either for or against Our Lord. Pray for the entire world that they may seek Jesus. Condemn no one but understand there is no middle place. You are either for or against Our Lord. Pray for the entire world that they may seek Jesus. Condemn no one but understand a time may come when you need to kick the dust from your feet.

Love, Peace & Calm
A homeless man with an Angel
Wayland, Mo.

***************** *******************************************

I asked a few of my personal acquaintances and family members their thoughts on the tree. Here are some of their responses:

****** ******************************************************

Carolyn Potter: Wake up call for us before it's too late. Jesus wants all of us to come to Him and be saved. Hopefully with this and other signs, more people will be saved.

Roberta Meyer: Quite taken in by the site. It could mean a number of things.

Sandy Searle: The figure is quite interesting. It has been said "the Lord's handiwork is all over creation and I would say that the tree is a good example.

Jeanette Jones: It's hard to decipher the meaning of the tree.

Peggy Meyer: The tree certainly looks like the figure of Jesus.

Pat Kelly: You can definitely see the figure of Jesus in the tree.

Darlene Hood: It's a special tree.

Rose Carpenter: People are always looking for a sign from God. They probably believe if they can touch it, it will cure them or do away with their sins. It is a wonder.

Cindy Drake: The figure is so cool!

Ollie Weese: The tree is a reminder that Jesus is watching over us.

Evelyn Taylor: The figure of Christ looks exactly as the Bible pictures Him.

____ _________________________

Coincidence, phenomenon or miraculous discovery...... you decide???? If you have a moment...... e-mail me your thou ghts.
_____________________________

(SPECIAL NOTE) There is no charge
to view the "Jesus Tree" and
the cemetery is open year round
to the public. It can be viewed
at the following location:

Roman Catholic Cemetery
1730 North 18th St.
Quincy, Illinois 62301
United States of America
Phone # 217-223-3390 or 217-223-3395

Author/Written By:
Marilyn Ferguson
©2002
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Anonymous
-

He sipped the Jalepeno flavored boxelder coffee and looked into her vacant eyes knowing each and every word she said was a lie to cover up the wrong doings of the Cross Threaded Lesbian Mafia Union,and said "The only mistake I made was You,Honeycups"
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scripted revelations
-

why would I tell you anything
and give you the satisfaction
of knowing that for a majority
of his life he has spent it
trying to run and hide from
YOUR mistakes
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Anonymous
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today I did a wake n bake

and
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now
-

I am high therefore I am fake
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Anonymous
-

Game Day
Johnny Hollywood put the groucho shades,nose and mustache on and the shoulder pads and Green Bay Shit Packers jersey and stood up while he urinated,and everyone thought he was another one of the Cross Threaded Lesbian Mafia football team,just kinda skinny,so they figured he was the quarter backThe real quarter back for the C.T.L.M.U. was locked in a locker after being sedated with the censorshit coffee syrup mixture laced with the Bertha medicine,Everyone knows as the Boxelder coffee ,So she was out for a while.On the field as soon as the ball was snapped to Johnny Hollywood ,He ran the other way and then just handed the ball to the Bears at the other end of the field...Score!Johnny Hollywood ran up into the crowd to avoid being ripped into pieces by the angry Cross Threaded Lesbians"We are going to get you Johnny Hollywood" shouted the very large center.Johnny Hollywood found some Bears fans in the crowd to party with and a nice lady who even shared her seven dollar beer-sch with him."They are going to get you,Johnny" She told him,"and when they do I'm afraid they will cross thread you"Johnny Hollywood did not want to be cross threaded by any means, so he decided to leave town as soon as the game was over and change his name."Why don't you just leave the Cross Threaded Lesbian Mafia Union alone Johnny and face the facts,You need to lower your standards,the Cross Threaded Lesbian Mafia Union have already gotten to all the good looking women in the world,and if you want a lady, you have to take what's left over...immigrants and fat ugly bitches" said the Cheerleader Johnny Hollywood was trying his best to pick up
posted by Cross Threaded Lesbian Mafia Union at 7:14 PM 0 comments

Win,Place or Show
"Mr. Hollywood has always been in the habit of banging retarded biotches,Walmart greeters were no exception"Johnny Francis Nicolas Hollywood's Hot attorney to the Jury."And that is why we are asking for fifty-seven million dollars from Hugh Heffner and the land the Playboy Mansion is sitting on,So that Johnny Hollywood can have it tore down and build a McDonald's there to satisfy his thirst for immergant women""Why thats absurd" said Hughs attorney in Playboys defense"We came up with the Women of Walmart ideal all by ourselves."Gabriela {Johnny's Hot attorney} strutted across the court room sticking her chest out a little to far".I would like to call the witness"Tardzilla" to the stand"Tardzilla took her oath and swore to tell the truth."Have you every been a resident of little city{a home for the mentally handicap},Miss Tardzilla?" Gabriella asked."Yes" Stated Tardzilla."And have you ever had relations with Mr. Hollywood? asked Gabriella"Yes" Tardzilla answered once again."And have you Miss Tardzilla ever been employed by the chain of stores we know as WALMART?"Gabriella asked smiling from ear to ear."Why yes I have" Tardzilla said, almost in tears.The court room erupted and the crowd went wild."Quite QUIET" The Judge shouted as she pounded her gavel onto a copy of playboy featuring Hepititis Barbie otherwise known as Pamela Andersen Lee, that Johnny Hollywood had been saving since he was a little boy."I'm going to get the Playboy mansion"Johnny Hollywood soggily whispered into Gretchens ear.The sky was bluer than Johnny F.N. Hollywoods Hot attorneys eyes."Its all about payback." J.F.N.H. shouted as he dropped hundreds of feet each second.Johnny Hollywood parachuted down into the Cross Threaded Lesbian Mafia's secret cucumber garden and started killing every plant he saw,like it was early December and he was sacrificing Trees for the Lord.The guards heard him and the spotlights circled the roll of plants He was trying to destroy at the moment."Those are gods children your killing!" shouted the General of the Cross Threaded Army."God??You leave Jessica out of this,she has nothing to do with any of this" Johnny Hollywood yelled as He tried to out run the demon dogs of hell. They were gaining on Johnny Hollywood and he knew his time on this sweet planet of love would be short.The Cross Threaded Lesbian Mafia broke into Johnny Hollywood's studio and broke his DOD foot pedal by the weight of the leader of the Cross Threaded Lesbian Mafia, Johnny Hollywood'sWah pedal snapped in half."Try playing your songs of love to our ladies now,you little censorbastard" Exclaimed the oversized Bull Dyke large wearing the red plaid flannel shirt that was as big as a compact car."There won't be any crying from his guitar tonight."Said the very handsome lady with a jet black crew cut."A good guitar player could play a log if he had to"Exclaimed Gretchen in Johnny Hollywood's defense.Johnny Hollywood did have a major revelation that would change his life as he knew it ,and bring happiness to his musicHe was seeing sunspots and warm red covered his mind."Well, don't keep us in expense forever Johnny" Said his very "special" slutty looking nurse "Special"K" ."O.K, O.K" Hollywood spoke"I will count the freckles on Gretchen""Thats it,you censorasshole?" Asked Nurse Special "K"as she stormed off to the drink cart."It can not be done" Harpo the award winning landscaper said as she shaved her eyebrows onto the table."It certainly is a challenge,Johnny,what if you miscount? asked Doctor Karen Cervenka"Then I shall count and count again" Johnny Hollywood stated."You can not just attempt to count Gretchens freckles,just like that,Johnny you must work up to it.You will need to train for such an event for a very long time, or you could get hurt." Harpo told Johnny Hollywood as she groomed her extensively protruding nose hairs."Training?" asked J.F.N.H. as if he was shocked."Yes,Johnny you need to train,to practice" Said Dr. Karen Cervenka.Johnny Hollywood thought this might be a trick,But he was unsure. If he was going to practice counting the freckles on anyone it would have to be on Gretchen herself,because her body was different from all the rest and if he did practice counting someone else's freckles it could cause him to be use to someone else's body and cost him dearly in the great freckle counting contest He was about to undergo.How could he count all of Gretchens freckles without her knowing? He couldn't, He would have to just count them in a one take situation for starters and if he censorfucked up,then maybe she would give him another chance to correct any mistakes he made the first time around but maybe getting in shape for the freckle counting event wasn't such a bad ideal like the nasty ugly biotches had first advised Johnny Hollywood.Johnny Hollywood began jogging ten miles a day,then push ups."This censorshit is taking up a lot of valuable playing time,Johnny" said Harpo, Johnny Hollywood's award winning landscaper slash bait and switch mail order bride, Who was secretly taping Johnny Hollywood's Jams and trading and selling them as bootlegs, not knowing that Johnny Hollywood's policy openly stated " He was for the taping and trading of his material by his fans and didn't mind the bootlegging"."You stupid censorbastard,you might have just cost us to lose the lawsuit against the file sharers in the Shitternet giveaway litigation process "cried Gabriela, his lovely attorney , thinking about her beamer payments.Johnny Hollywood looked deep into her wild blue eyes and wished she was a Landscaper,He kissed her anyway knowing He would in no time soon get his lawn cut.Then he started jogging again, off around the corner of Broadway and Wilson where he found so many bagladies before,He wasn't looking this time,He had a reason to live and a goal to achieve.He was going to count them,yeah he was going to count Gretchens freckles if it was the last thing he ever would do."And how does this make you feel Johnny?" asked Dr.Gail as she applied her cat box to his navigational system"Your cat box is over flowing Doctor Gail, causing the navigational system to become clogged with your sand""Dr. Gail looked like she was going to cry"You stole that from The Crackwhores stunt double", She shouted as she knocked the "Kincaids" off the wall in her office full of lawn chairs.Johnny Hollywood didn't steal anything and he didn't openly admit in public that he by any means knew The Crackwhores stunt double.Johnny Hollywood wanted a meaningful life, everything meant nothing, the songs he worked all his life on were to be given away on the shitternet by people who had no talent what so ever"Thats the way God want's it,Johnny" Said his overpriced Love Shrink "Dr.Gail","The Music should be free""And so should your retarded stocking ripping sessions,Sweet Doctor Gail" Johnny Hollywood told the twisted snotty biotch like it was.Johnny Hollywood wanted something meaningful and all he could see was red as he looked into the midday sun."Thats It" He yelled with excitement.Jumping up and down."What's it,Johnny? Did you have another revelation?" asked his Harpo Marx looking award winning landscaper from somewhere in St. Petersburg as she plucked her chin hairs and shaved her cleavage again."Didn't you sign a contract when you began working for the Hollywood Estate that you would not pluck and shave in front of the guests?" Asked Johnny Two Chords Hollywood."Spoil sport" said the now crumbled Harpo."Johnny What's your major revelation?" Harpo asked once more as she rinsed the disposable razor in the tea cup."Shouldn't she be landscaping,Johnny?" asked Doctor Karen Cervenka as she turned over to tan her non-existent ass.On Johnny Hollywood;s leer jet flying over Georgia on the way to Northern Florida there were some light storms.Johnny Hollywood woke up sweating profusely,He had been dreaming about his favorite generic Barbie yet again."Maybe you shouldn't have stopped taking the Bertha Medication Johnny"Stated his little Yoko right before she gave him a righteous piece of ass"Yeah maybe" Said Johnny Hollywood before falling back to sleep proper."Wake up Johnny we are at Disney land" Said his silly little biotchJohnny Hollywood knew He was not at Disney land.Johnny Hollywood knew there was something he forgot to do back home in the lovely "Crack House Estates" He resided in,but could not remember what it was."Think brain think" he thought to himself.JNFHJohnny Hollywood woke up in a puddle of pukeIn the elevator on the south end of the Cross Threaded Lesbian Mafia Unions Casino“We are going to have to ask you to leave the cult,Johnny Hollywood” Said the leader of the Cross Threaded Lesbian Mafia.“What cult?” asked the puzzled J.F.N.H.“The group,the Union of the Cross Threaded Lesbian Mafia”Said the first bouncer as She applied accessive force to restrain and remove Johnny Hollywood from the premisis.Johnny Hollywood knew his rights,they could’nt just throw him out of the Cross Threaded Casino for no reason what so ever,they had to pin something on him.There was the fact that he never paid any dues to become a full fledged member of the Cross Threaded Lesbian Mafia And He was never really in their Union,per se,So he never really had to suffer thru their tough initiation process.He did have a lot of trouble battling them for the heart of Gretchen ,Which up until now they seemed to be neck in neck.The Cross Threaded Lesbian Mafia Unions bouncers were starting to get pretty rough with Johnny Hollywood in the parking lot, where he begged them not to make him go since he had no where else to go and considered this his home.“You are just here trying to pick up our ladies”Said the Bouncer dressed in a black leather tarp.“But I own you and your football team” cried Johnny Hollywood.The lesbian bulldyke bouncers were not impressed.“Give him pain” said the Cross Threaded Bouncer wearing the blue collared shirt.During the night they dumped Johnny Hollywood in a dumpster in the Uptown area,leaving him for dead.After a short uncomfortable nap J.N.F.H. began his long walk back home.Six hours later Johnny Hollywood made it back to town.He was dying of thirst so he thought a nice Gatorade brand beverage would help.He made it to the counter inside the local convience store and told the Secondary Undercover Crackwhore Trixie babe with the ponytail thing going on“You know I wanna get with you,baby.”From under the counter the very lovely The Secondary Undercover Crackwhore Trixie raised two AK-47’s and opened fire on Johnny Hollywood’s Already broken heart.“Ouch,you sure know how to hurt a guy”,Hollywood exclaimed.“ First the Cross Threaded Lesbain Mafia want to assinate me,now the Secondary Undercover Crackwhore Trixie babe is pissed at me for no reason that I can find”J.F.N.H. told the bus driver who stopped just in time,Almost running Johnny Hollywood over only because he ran out in front of it.“Does anyone have any change ?” Johnny asked as The Secondary Undercover Crackwhore Trixie babe,as She rittled the bus with bullets.Johnny Hollywoods life passed before his eyes.He remembered Bertha Mae wearing the french maid outfit,Cooking up that delicous corn bread,Before she broke his heart and run off with that good for nothing Sodbuster.The peoples of the pace bus and the driver tossed J.F.N.H. out very quickly and Johnny Hollywood decieded as long as he could get another glance of the Secondary Undercover Crackwhore Trixie Babe , That was certainly worth dying for.Well that’s when the trouble began,You see since every thought Johnny Hollywood had was transmitted thru his funky microchipped mind,And the secret underground was intercepting all of these aforementioned thoughts And trying to manipulate and control him like the prisoner puppet he was, And the evil Cross Threaded Lesbian Mafia Union was in control of the secret under ground,Johnny Hollywood really did not own anyone or anything.“And how could he think a warm thought about The Secondary Undercover Crackwhore Trixie Babe?” asked Lori the nasty looking troll that lived under the porch, Who was in charge of watching the lap top monitoring Hollywood Johnnys caged mind at this peticular moment.“Your fired,Lori” cried her Upper Management Cross Threaded Leader.“You can’t fire me, I’m like a Navy Seal of the Cross Threaded Lesbian Mafia”growled Lori the tubby little troll that lived under the porch.“You people are making me sick” Said the very lovely Muff Muff.Johnny Hollywoods brain backfired,before he passed out under such great pressure.He had several weird dreams about Andie Mcdowel.Johnny Hollywood rode his horse slowly thru the town,Looking for his missing soulmate shitbag.She wrote him letters the whole time He was in the hospital on his death bed,Telling him she wanted to recreate life and melt the universe with him.Then left him at the gallows pole Hanging,if it was not for Candy cutting him down there would be no Johnny Hollywood today.Johnny Hollywood stole roses for his favorite generic Barbie And almost got caught.He tore down every wanted poster of himself he could find.It was big Roxy who retrieved the wanted poster of Johnny Hollywood in the post office The one claiming he had organized the great train robbery of Rond Out When he was no where around when it took place,But it was also Big Roxy who had formed a possee to search for Johnny Hollywood to begin with.“Welcome to the Cross Threaded Lesbian Mafia Wrastlin' Match ,Hollywood Johnny”said the biggest bulldyke Johnny had ever seen, as she threw him on her shoulders like it was nothing and began to run around the ring taunting the crowd.Johnny Hollwood wished he was in Gretchen's garden, Killing the satanic snake or on the couch watching cable with his lovely new wife Olivia about right now.In a blurr faster and faster he turned He could smell the big brawny bulldykes armpits And odor pouring off of her rolls of fat Like a sweat smoothy."If I die Who's going to milk the obease Yoko?" Johnny Hollywood thought.Johnny Hollywood remembered he never found The Secondary Undercover Crackwhore Trixie Babe Waiting at the station and that was his last thought .Into the crowd he flew, Over the mosh pit into unconcousness.“He needs to take the Bertha meds now,Everyone has to leave”said his slutty looking nurse Special”K”.“I’m not going NOWHERE BIOTCH,…I’m his upstairs maid now.” Gretchen told Special “K”“Well you better take your silly censorass upstairs then said Johnny Hollywoods very dedicated nurse with a devolping attuide problem.
posted by DoctorCatsburger at 8:50 AM 0 comments
Monday, March 21, 2005

Johnny F.N. {Albnio Sniffer} Hollywood woke up and took a power piss. He could see Bertha on the screen of the security cameras looking like a country music video in her overalls and barefeets cleaning the horse stalls just shoveling the dookie.
posted by DoctorCatsburger at 10:39 AM 0 comments

Angel in the Crossroads at Twelve O'Clock
Johnny Hollywood's new manager ate all the chicken legs and wings and breasts leaving only undetectable pieces that tasted like fish,then she told him that he would not be allowed to continue to overuse his name in his fictious biography and would not be eligible for the world record book of the same name bieng in a book."The script done got gone" the moist hillbilly said over the Bogen intercom."Radio radio radio computer computer pink floydianisms the wall, Whos the hottest Yoko after all?"Asked the Evil Gypsy Vixen, {Who was censorhot herself }."What no viks" asked The Cross Threaded Lesbian Mafia, as they made Johnny Hollywood carry the cross thru town. The towns people carried signs that said "Ban the abuse of dairy products for wooing purposes"."How did they know and did they also know he was looking for a nice boxster to woo you on the hood of, in the rain at dinnertime without utilitizing garlic bread or a garlic bread substitute?" Johnny 2times Hollywood thought on the first screen, and he thought "Jessica ,wooage" on levels two and three ."Is there another plateu?" Asked The Secondary Crackwhore as the Milk of Crackwhore bongwater burned her soul."Your crazy Johnny Hollywood" Said the fiesty pizza maker."Bad search engine Bad, No, No": Said the barefoot and pregent welfare recieptant.He did'nt care he said "CensorFuck it I'll carry the cross to Oklahoma, if you told me Olivia was really there.""All thats there is walmarts and Merle Haggard's Music, Johnny" said the Nasty Troll that lives in a hollow log. Bulldyke number two stood up and made a peace offering to Mr. Hollywood,"The E chord" .................Johnny F.N.Hollywood's imaginary invisible fans will live homeless because J.F.N.H. is homeless and in addition to Johnny Hollywood bieng homeless,He was in denial about bieng homeless and crazier than dogdookie, not only was he delusional, his thought patterns were erratic."I thought they did'nt make Liquid Bertha Medicaticion anymore" Dr. Gail said heistantly "Wheres my groucho shades?" asked the cartoon of Lisettes brain."out of his element" said the Virgin Slut Rocket Scientist and therefore could not tell the crazy obsessed fans that wanted to..................................." UH HUH SEE ," Cut" "You cant have a Virgin Slut Rocket Scientist in the movie, Johnny it just is not proper" Said the new director of Johnny Hollywoods life."Wait a minute, its my script, I wrote it" Hollywood told it........."and he lived it" said God not wearing the birthday suit Doctor Catsburger had requested her to wear.The new director looked suspicouly like the old and very first self appointed manager and all of a sudden Johnny Hollywood was'nt doing the likes of freckled waitress' and thier was no bunny tails and blonde versus bleach blonde revalations for Mr. Johnny Hollywood now there was fat ugly biotches and scenes where Johnny Hollywood was some heffers house boy, but Johnny Hollywood could'nt complain much because he threw away the script way back when, and it was what ever happens happens ,Bertha meds induced coma of retardation,the only constant was that the script needed an actress whether or not she was one hundred or three hundred pounds was up to the director which is why a lot of people say the Johnny Hollywood did commit suicide.It was because He lost control of the script of his life and already during that life previously He had documented evidence that he had infact paid his dues with fat ugly biotches and just when it was understood satan reared her ugly head. Johnny Hollywood was again bieng manipulated the puppet masters making no sense in direction, just random attacks at sainity coupled with random biotchings to soundtrack the insanity. Johnny Hollywood was even more censorpissed when the new director said "The script is supposed to suck as an non-art of art protest against sell outs until they pay". "Contradiction" Said the girl who asked to be wrote in."Your homeless Johnny Hollytard, you can't afford imaginary fans even if they are invisible and you talk of underground, Do you know what it costs to insure imaginary invisible fans Johnny Hollywood" Dr. Gail ,the doctor of love reminded him he was homeless three more times while adjusting her new Kincaid on the freshly painted state funded office wall.Johnny Hollywood dug thru Dr. Gails garbage can ,looking for alumimun cans. Shure Johnny F. N. Hollywood had more fans coming, but for no reason. I mean,"He was a lousy landscaper,a shitty guitar player,He was'nt even a plumber." the crowd heckled.The wiccan tree people did well,because they could live in the trees with that crazy tree magic ,but the others were just as homeless as hopeless Johnny Hollywood and he just kept inviting more groupies to live nowhere. He tried to sleep on the "L" ,but when the train stopped they wanted everyone to wake up,but thats not how JFNH wanted it you see he always wanted to take care of all the fans,like the stories he heard about the Beach boys ,Jan and Dean and the manson family only with out the "pocket full of shells"If jfnhollywood had it his way he would live in space with honeypie, hot hot hot Yoko where he could practice with out bieng interupted or stopped by the music haters .......red dog red dog its going down over.......red dog red dog,its going down over..."Get ten dollars,steal something,Get ten dollars."Said the Voices in the Crackwhores head."Freebird Freebird! Freebird Freebird!Reverb Reverb! Reverb Reverb!"Said her cellmate for the week,After a few drinks,Johnny Hollwood told his little honey He was thinking about her on every level of his brain.The next morning the Union of the Cross Threaded Lesbian Mafia had the front of the Johnny Hollywood brain on three different screens.Covering each level.The fastest Yoko around, I mean its a hundred miles an hour if its anything, could now see JFNH's thoughts were scrambled. He had no where to go and stuck the barrel to his brain and pulled the trigger.The End."Zip guns are'nt zip guns when you make them outta colverts Johnny Hollywood"said Sweet Doctor Gail trying to hide the fact that Johnny Hollywood had angered the whorecops to the point where they were mad but not enough to would've or could have blow thier cover in the covert operation and ongoing investigation on and about the code name "Cat Box"."Biotch biotch biotch,I'm dead and I still gotta listen to you biotch" Johnny F.N. Hollywood said on just another easter morning in may."Nice body To bad about the face" the navigational system went off "Down boy" Said JfnH's brain"Good night Johnboy" said the Bertha meds."generic barbies are real?" asked the lords overlysaturaited sanitary napkin.
posted by DoctorCatsburger at 9:44 AM 0 comments

Johnny Hollywood woke up and took a piss.Only then was the new security system installed so that ghosts would not be able to sleep with him anymore.
posted by DoctorCatsburger at 9:37 AM 0 comments

"Upon further inspection,it is plain to see that this girl is not albino " Doctor Catsburger announced.
posted by DoctorCatsburger at 9:34 AM 0 comments

"Meant for each other" The bertha medicatcion had no refill,but before the bottle became completely empty."What is this a morman candle party?"was that the devil?Like a ho needs a pimp the sloppy seconds libarian with vericose neck veins and crack sores all over her face caught the bouquet and the world did'nt stop.There was no one song to tie the broken hearts together and the hitmen and cleaners look just like the police,clean the walls with blood.No one boiled water,no one tore up sheets,no one sent out invitations to the bridal shower and all the gifts were garbage picked from the dumpster she was born in or else they were shop lifted by non-violent welfare recieptiants.Miss pussyspank marched by with a sign protesting the furless crop circles in the heffers rust hole ka-douche drainage system with less than oridianary horticulture "Nuke plants help them hillbillies brains work fast"said the most annoying voice "ka-douche"she had nothing good hid in her shirt and the barrel of her gun needed cleaning.Sweet bertha fluffed her wings and climbed down off the air conditioned John Deere tractor with the Earl is in the trunk" bumper stickers on the back of it and squatted over the ground hog hole and shit out a crack babie on welfare."I'll be by your side" yelled Sod buster as He came running across the corn field just a little to late, yes he had a nice hub cap to catch it in! yes he was late because it took him to long to steal a nice enough hubcap for the rusted coat hanger abortion south side baby jesus to land in,And yes the town elders thought that to be grand of him "Sodbuster" to support Bertha in between those monthly welfare checks and after those long nights of ho'in for rock, whose kids are they anyway Bertha even questioned."The State's!" said the nicest caseworker you ever hoped to see."Underwater welding? Can't ya all just braze these four coat hangers together in case its twin crackbabies on welfare?"Asked the whorecop undercover angel as she hid behind the door frame peaking around slowly with her bed pan drawn and ready,wearing rubber gloves she tossed her police issue pony tail,just another badge number with a nice dental plan. laying in a river of puke and the stench of leaking pissbags the troll that lives under the house with the malfunctioning hard drive for a melted brain,never thought of clicking her censorshit covered spurs and heels together.Inside the Musuem of Cat Box History they studied the beginning of the Cat Box time line,and he learned to wipe the rim of the toilet afterwards so she would shut the censorfuck up but he still would'nt fetch no tampoons from the liquor store when she had a request. "No muss no fuss Cat Box abortions" said the license plate on the mobile Cat Box time machine.
posted by DoctorCatsburger at 8:40 AM 0 comments

Johnny Hollywood woke up in the morning and took a piss.He was still wearing his "Official Albino Sniffer" Tee shirt."You Truely Are An S.G.electric Smooth curves beautifully rounded devil horns "Seizure Chords said to the Heavens ,hoping they would take a message for MuffMuffThe scene opens with Johnny "Albino Sniffer" Hollywood telling a girl of great cakes magnitude and art,that he "Was not using other womens for inspiration".The scene closes with Johnny Albino Sniffer Hollywood telling a girl of great cakes magnitude and art,that he "Was not using other womens for i nspiration".Johnny Albino Sniffer Hollywood showed up late for band pratice for the third time in a row with a note from his Crackwhore stating.... "Please excuse Johnny Albino Sniffer Hollywood from band practice today, because he was up all night smoking space with me, Thanks Again.Johnny Albino Sniffer Hollywoods favorite microchipped crack whore."You expect us to belive this is real?, it says Johnny Albino Sniffer Hollywoods favorite microchipped crack whore?Ha Ha how stupid do you think we are?If this document was even slightly real it would be noterized and the signature would say Johnny Albino Sniffer Hollywoods favorite government issue microchipped Crackwhore, Get the censorfuck outta here !"Said last seasons "Opie"into the open mic then he followed it with "Where are the Who-er's."Johnny Hollywoods award winning landscaper was then quick to point out that the document had indeed been noterized with Johnny Hollywoods picking hands thumbprint of weed resin in the middle of the page and again at the bottom.Johnny Hollywood sat in the penalty box for what seemed like a life time he got caught double checking his microchipped government issue crack whore in an open atmosphere. All he really knew was that he was WRONG.It was no easy task loving an actress.To make the time pass he sung prison and work songs.The body guards were under strick instruction with no variables.It was a standard the biotch would have to meet or beat.Nothing less than Jessica could cross the line,One did almost slide thru, because when you looked at her really very, very again, to the ten power nice ass, You would and could easily think she was in fact Jessica ,but even after untold amounts ofbeer-sch Her face was indeed not the answer, but that was only because Yoko's spy girl was scoping on the entire scene ready to report back the secondary attemptage.While and when it was without, the standard may change enough for a Buttercups ate up with large ugliness to the point that she may think she could get with our Hero who was then thinking suicide and masterbation would have to be a better Soulmateski now that life had took a turn for the dark edge of the runway.The courtroom was so far away on the left side of the brain while on the right side of the brain there was the two usual signals at all times the first one had curly hair and the second constant thought pattern was an adventure where the bottom line was that Johnny F.N.Hollywood was ready to legally change his name to "Johnny Albino Sniffer Hollywood". Johnny Hollywoods brain edited itself just like he programmed it to do,but got locked up when it came to a fork in the road with the memory file playback repeating,"Thats why I love You" Johnny Hollywood said with no ideal what he was talking about."The replay button must be stuck"He thought on the second level undetected by any and all thought monitors out today."Higher Math"The base station shut down both the government issue crack whores brain and Johnny Hollywoods.The thought monitor and recievers froze and Johnny Hollywoods brains computer backed up to last night when he looked across the bar.The only thing the screen now said was "Theres a blonde at two O'Clock and shes a ten but its only one fifteen a.m ."Johnny F.N.Hollywood double checked the government issue crack whore and drew her attention,looking into her camera eye lens he told her he loved her.She knew he did,he nibbled her lobes and distracted her so as he could access her brains computer port.Once inside the government issue crack whores minds vast computer port that was simutainously recieving thought signals from him he disconnected the direct soulmate line and searched her memory files for the imformation...search results for "immune system failure + a cheap medication to make the transition easier how to TURN dog urine as a gas,lung conversion rejection,inhalation of dog urine modified oxygen" he typed into her electronic brain. red flags went up everywhere and the base station tried to shut down the government issue crack whores computer brain and when Johnny Hollywood stopped it in its tracks the base station then tried to make the government issue crack whores brain seduce Johnny Hollywood."Don't you love skinny no ass bitches Johnny Hollywood?" the government issue crack whores brain asked."You know I do" Said Johnny Hollywood "but we have got to come up with a plan to convert our lungs from breathing air to dog piss as a gas just in case there is a war and there is a shortage of coffee,And You try to live with crazy people" "Your just trying to confuse me Johnny Hollywood"said the infamous crack whore of lily white beauty.Johnny Hollywood was confused himself,He loved Blonde and that would be the one thing that would stop him and his expiramental inventions.Johnny Hollywood looked right into the eyes of the fat ugly bitch and said "I like skinny no ass bitches"it was art it is art it is all there is.Sezure Chords sang the Rat Acid song with great feeling."A hundred pound actress,a ten in the light, all worn out on this dead life,gestpo tactics free and elude, gestpo tactics free and elude ,gestpo tactics free and elude....Jesus gots a law suit....arrest me arrest yourself,digging on a book about self help,church monkey church shoes,newly wired church shoes........gestpo tactics free and elude ,gestpo tactics free and elude gestpo tactics free and elude,jesus gots a law suit"Johnny Hollywoods award winning landscaper "Harpo" turned the tape off and removed it from the tape player and put it in her pocket to trade with later."You can not sue Ellen Degeneris for stealing your jokes Johnny Hollywood,and if you could what would you get? She has everything tied up in a trust fund for the Cross Threaded Lesbian Mafia Union to get thier paws on and you have been beating a dead horse already in your daily battles against the aforementioned C.T.L.M.U. Just what does she have that you think your going to get thru litigation,Johnny Fucked Up Hollywood? JUST TELL ME THAT."Dr.Gail went on and on."Well, shes got Paula Abdual" Johnny Hollywood said slowly."Yeah but shes old and nasty now Johnny,forget about it" Said Gail in her Travolita impressionist tone.Johnny F.N.Hollywood's award winning landscaper and Harpo Marx look alike stood up and said "In Johnny Hollywoods defense I would like to point out that he DOES NOT battle the Cross Threaded Lesbian Mafia Union on a daily basis and as a matter of fact he is an honary member of the Cross Threaded Lesbian Mafia Union,And in addition to that fact where did you think Mr. Hollywoods upcoming wedding reception party was going to be located? Yep, he already has a deposit up to reserve the C.T.L.M.U. bingo hall for the hootenany festivities,now all he has to do is find a honeypie who is hot hot hot but yet crazy enough to say "I DO" when it comes to the legalization of the rusty chain attachment""And thats why we are here today folks,Our intrest lies in the legalization alright, the legalization of hemp and all hemp products and in the old days our countries forefounders used to use hemp to feed the war horses during the times of war and my daddy used to even feed it to his horse" Said Johnny Hollywood."I wish I was a horse" said Bertha Mae "I thought you look more like Carmen Diaz" Said Johnny Hollywoods psychcotheriapist as she winked at the original Bertha."Watch shes going to say "These puppies are real next,they all do"Harpo Marx whispered into Johnny Hollywoods ear."Get off me,theres hot bitches at twelve O'Clock" Said Johnny Hollywood trying to move away from the dirty immergrant pezzant.Enter Special K with the cart of Bertha Medication"Say AHHH, Johnny" she said as she pulled the trigger twice dosing Johnny into the Special K zone."Special Kaaaaatttt" Johnny Hollywood snored.Johnny Hollywood drank from the bottle and left this message in the heavens for Sweet Berthas Great big Ass."A half ass decoloration of love""Yes the leading lady is everything to me and the generic stunt doubles are in the way."get off the cat walk generic stunt doubles I repeat get off the cat walk generic stunt doubles,this is not a drill"The stage almost naked,your love dat efakefatesnowflakeswakeandbakeanything but can not be replaced uh huhbut I knew it was youthe script a bore only because I wrote it to befeeling I know what the censorfuck I'm doing I'm gonna end up with you if it takes to long I'll be there.we don't need to define apathy here,My love a constant.today we passed thru the crossroads where I first told you I love you and still I had the same thought the same feeling words are words except for the character transistion you under go you love me you hate me you are under my direction I am under your spell that means nothing?that means everything every word I ever read was a path to you."Johnny Hollywood read from the napkin into the microphone andThe live poetry reading began with"The Cattle Prod Decendents of the disgusting Lord Christ A Motzaball Sundae"You don't look like the drawing of yourself on the front page.Germ sausage of emotionless air windtunnel toto moisture inhalation of the animal urination I made you fat with need disolves the voicebox a lyrical stench a rough cure happiness tomorrow wheeze down the stench linedance country puke pile."Every room wired energy wasted on.As soon as Johnny Hollywood noticed that his evil X wife had the reins of the "Acidic Rodent" cult and had possesion of one high tempature hillbilly too,he aknowleged there was indeed a problem. Her and Yoko could have the band for all he cared as long as he got to keep the Mars Hall and still sleep with his guitard."But why does she get to keep the hillbilly?" Johnny F N Hollywood asked.This obviously was no ordinary hillbilly.But bieng a man J.F.N.Hollywood was still wrong.So in a drunken stupior Johnny Hollywood tried to write a nice song for the hillbilly who done got gone, not knowing that she had went over to the townhall and applied for squatters rights to do her hillbilly like homesteading a midst the secret Johnny Hollywood bomb shelter."Them cameras everywhere is using up batteries and electicity" Said Johnny Hollywoods personal shopper/baglady the ghost of "Black Betty" who he found at the shelter.The whorecops tried to pull the puppet strings.although they were not barbed wire Johnny Hollywood could feel thier presence.It was a day to be repressed if there was truely no god why has'nt anyone proved it many Yoko's ago.Shure someone needed to take the wheel so Johnny Hollywood could party and take time to stop and smell the crack whores because life is short."All I want is a nice bunny hop lap dance" Said Johnny Hollywood.Maybe Johnny Hollywoods agent could stop "barbie cueing" long enough to take him back down to the welfare office and he could select a nice generic bleach blonde with a crackbabie to feed or a couple of midget landscapers to be hoot hoot girls.but today there was death on the schedule.someone must put shitlegs in the bottom of the river.someone must make the almighty sacrafice.someone had to play god someone had to do the right thing.someone had to move the family out of the pile of shit god delt them for a playing hand"Your going to need weights,Johnny Hollywood" said Harpo Marx, Johnny Hollywoods award winning landscaper from a very respectable mail order bride outfit that supplied most of the Hollywood estates staff."Everybody calls her Harpo Marx,'cause thats who she looks like" Said Special K the "Marsha Brady" look alike/onboard nurse."The microburst sky opens the emptiness,bolts of electricity slice through the midnight cloak...staining the heavens with anger destorying what has been killing life in its way...no heart could beat forever,there is no song that can hold you"Said the CatBox Poet.Johnny F.N.Hollywood was securely held in place, as Dr. Gail Tried to reason with him,the lovely nurse vixon "Special K" shot the Bertha medicatcion into J.F.N.H.'s heart or where his heart would be if he had one,and the original Bertha herself pushed the button sending the extremely high voltage throughout Johnny Hollywoods body.Johnny Hollywood yelled and cussed the C.T.L.M.U. as he kicked and jerked and shook his head violently."What the fuck is wrong with him? Why won't he just accept delieverly?" asked the postal worker as she looked down at her uzi hoping to use it."He's a stubron ass" Said Special K as she double dosed him again and then blinded him with her glittering sweaty clevage.Bertha Mae shocked J.F.N.H. once again and said "You ordered a generic bleach blonde you son of a censorbiotch now deal with it.""He hates the name "Kim" and won't have anything to do with any biotch named "Kim" unless shes a doctor or something" Said Harpo Marx,Johnny F.N.Hollywoods award winning landscaper."You should just let him smell her or something"Said the postal worker looking at her watch.After a while Johnny Hollywood chilled out some and the let "Kim" into the labatory, Johnny Fuckin' Hollywood seen her and said "Jessica!!!""No, Johnny,its "Kim"." Said Bertha."Shut up biotch....Sign here Johnny Hollywood" said the postal worker in somewhat of a hurry. Johnny Hollywoods navigational system kicked in,and he soon forgot tomorrow and he forgot about yesterday as he signed Bon Scott's name on the paper.The live poetry reading on the subway train began with Johnny Hollywood high on the milk of Crackwhore speaking to the crowd as he passes a makeshift hat made out of a Volkswagon hubcap."Love,Greed,Inspiration,Breathe"When I look into your eyes I see where I want to be,wrapped so far inside your heartclose to the heat the dream a pain like needseeds of life ask not direction,like leaves turn,a jagged minute hand asks only one thing of me.Where will I hide your heart so I am the life it bleeds "Johnny Hollywood was thrown off the subway train at the Chinatown stop with his pockets turned inside out.He thought about the angel at the cross roads"Whom ever has a bunny tail hot as the "L" trains third rail""You are lame and corny "said Bertha as she drove her air conditioned John Deere tractor over his heart.Dr. Gail had Johnny F.N.Hollywoods brain out and on the table again for the second time in eight daysthe microchip made out of Gibson brand guitat partswas not the problem as she first expected it to be.She did detect another unauthorized thought signal transmitter that was sending a duplicate copy of his every thought to who ever was on that frequency but it was not causing the problem either.Somehow he down loaded a virus into the hard drive in his brains computer and it was networking additional virus' from the government issue crack whores brains computer too.When she did get Johnny F.N.Hollywoods brain to go solo again the only thought that would register was "BLOND" and after Dr. Gail took his brain out three more times that night it had not changed so she tossed it in the shitcan and called it a day.Later that night the team of illegal alien janitors came in and one of them found the brain of Johnny Francis Nicolas Hollywood and took it home and sent it back to the mother country of Janitorism where his family cooked it up like it was a nice corned beef and later they shit J.F.N.H.'s brain out into a big vase and J.F.N.H.'s brain grew back together molded together like a bonding as stong as our love then the GPS kicked in and the government could track it and sent some recuriut over to fetch it and then with a court order they made Dr. Gail put Johnny's brain right back in where it belong."Was it like heaven,Johnny Hollywood,or was it like bieng in a comma?"Special "K" asked."Thats an out and out lie,Satan is not a blonde" Johnny Hollywood preached to the past.Johnny Loserfuck Censorshit Hollywood made a effortless attempt to become a real official like Taxi driver he rented the classic denero movie and imagined Miss 2002 to be his betsy but denero did'nt have any salad dressing on the market so there was no punch line there."I gotta be real" Said J.F.N.H.and tried not to get anywhere near soap and water for thirty-one days and nights but on the third day the Crackwhore crust became a problem and like Snookums once told him to do..He jumped into the cat box river to try and get a rinse cycle going."I can see long blonde hair and a nice bunny tail"Johnny Hollywoods brain erupted."The special milk of Crackwhore for the coffee,not just in the morning"? Thats what you want to name the boat?" asked the sign painter who was still half drunk from the night before.Johnny Hollywood looked down at the ground and tried to figure out why his very favorite high class girl friend was mad that he wanted to marry a crack whore and when he told her she could choose which crack whore he married she got even madder.Johnny Hollywood woke up and the instructor was handing him a note to see the career consoler ,He waited in the office bored out of his mind. The clock slowly moved finally the wonderful bearer of good news called Johnny F.N.Hollywood in to the office"What do you like,Johnny Hollywood?" she asked."I like blondes mostly sometimes bleach blondes"Said Johnny FN Fasterski in a flash."well it looks like the only thing we got for you in that deptment,Johnny F.N.Hollywood would have to be Taxi driver, but since you bathe more than once a day and the prerequeistite for that job is that you do not bathe more than once every thirty days and you don't wear a towel on your head,and you still would have to gain two hundred pounds,but you do get to meet women and the good news is that women don't give a rats ass how ugly dude is as long as they get something outta the deal" said the libiarian looking career consoler."But I don't know how to spell,I mean when and how often do I get to play the guitar?" Asked Johnny Hollywood with great concern."No,theres no more guitar Johnny F.N.Hollywood and no more partying with your friends you must now put your nose to the grind stone.You asked a whacked god for a blonde or bleach blonde or red head or a girl that looks like Muff Muff and God hooked you up bro, now you might have to work the french fry machine to pay the bills but you'll meet lotsa landscaping ladies that you like so much if you want entertainment pretend the grease pit is a mosh pit."Johnny Hollywood dozed back off into the twight zone,he could see long blonde hair he could see bunny ears he did'nt need the world around him.He was falling hundreds of feet SLAMMMMMM he hit the pavement."Have you choosen which Crackwhore your going to marry" asked the enemy and lifetime sabatour."Which ever one gets Cupcake the most-est jealose" J.F.N.H. said in his sleep while standing at attention"Dismissed" said the joke of a consoler who harbors great mental conditions in the corners of her tard drive.Johnny F.N.Hollywood went right home and piled all of his guitars in a haphazzard pile and started the bon fire"Six strings or Blonde hair Johnny Hollywood asked the mirror as he felt a tug on the puppet strings like he was catching something a nibble a bite just a little more.Johnny F.N.Hollywood failed all of todays tests on purpose because he had doubt life would become better if he told them what they wanted to hear."Thats just laziness" he could hear from the distance.Johnny Hollywood could see the crossroads in the distance and he could see Satans red hair shining in the sun on the other side of the intersection he knew he would arrive at the crossroads before she would and he could see that she did not see him coming.When Satan got to where Johnny Hollywood was standing she did'nt wanna kick it with J.F.N.H. for to long and acted as if he was stalking her sweet ass,which was a bogus call because he stopped stalking her a very long time before now and it was just fate that brought them both to the same crossroads at the same time and all this hype was brought to the script by the second guitar player who never brings anything else to the table as it were."All I ever wanted was to count your freckles."Johnny Hollywood said from inside the hole he crawled into to pray to die."I don't know how you got Miss 2002 to play the role of Satan, Johnny" said "Red Dog" the red and white generic strat-o-crapster that Johnny F.N.Hollywood never played anymore.The voices echoed from the blonde heavens.Johnny was wrong and he was still wrong.Johnny Hollywood went to the crossroads and the devil was already there waiting. "I need a blood red Gibson S.G." Johnny F.N.Hollywood told Satan as he looked into her Hazel eyes."Your on the shitlist Johnny" The devil replied.The trees in the garden rustled with the serpents "I don't care,I dig pregenant chicks too." Johnny hollyweird said as he left the crossroads.Johnny F.N. Hollywood had to sit and listen to the same old obligatory "Magic is nothing to play with" speech and then the old gypsy biotch told J.F.N.H. that he had made a big mistake in the wording of the spell by saying forever or some variation of it.Then the severe biotchings took a turn towards "You can't just call the escort service and have them send out an anerexic no ass blonde spell editor because they most certianly will be out of stock".Johnny Hollywood looked both ways for any sign of the girl He has the very potent love spell on and after He scanned the entire room for bugs,cameras,transmitting and recording devices he then said,"I'm sorry,but when a hot blonde does a little bunny hop for me when I ask her if she knows how to tighten up lugnuts I am somehow moved towards love lust and lunch."Johnny F.N.Hollywood got on the train and went three cars south to the far end of the third train car,where in the last seat on the left was the wrong red head he sat across from her not knowing the lovely freckled contestant was not you since you are only words and he read to her aloud...""Words Wasted On the Wrong Heart"I only have your words never a vision to connect the soul with all the time in the worldhow could I have known looking into the wrong eyes until your mind lets us go.words."She looked at J.F.N.H. like he was crazy and he knew he was born wrong.The live poetry reading on the way to the crackhouse began as Johnny Hollywood assumed the role of the crackwhore poet."Crack Whore Sprinkled With Rose Pedals"Crackwhore sprinkled with rose pedals hide your needles in the sun rusty coat hanger abortions sell everything you love Crackwhore sprinkled with rose pedals almost as pretty as a gun its nothing betadyne won't cure and your my only one,Crackwhore sprinkled with rose pedals the cat box surprise of love nothing in this worlds gonna save us,when not even you give a censorfuck ."The endless well of Cross Threaded Lesbian Mafia Union Leader songs was running dry as the fire was burning out,the night turned cold and the wolves in the distance seemed closer.Johnny F.N.Hollywood had to lay low and work on project Cat Box.Somewhere that the opposing bands could not find.He was so paranoid that he would not even consider "Opie" bieng the bass player again because of the connection with the second guitar players solo experiment and J.F.N.Hollywood was not going to join another band.It was begining to look like the ghost of his brother was'nt going to show. "So whos going to play bass" Satan asked the age old question.Johnny Hollywood did'nt really care at that point with his only thought process bieng the hottest Yoko ever,to the point of giving her power of attorney with the decsions concerning his life sorta without actually legally giving her power of attorney."So your just stringing her along with more of your lies?" Said Dr.Gail trying to start more shit because She was secretly hot for J.F.N.H. and was his first Girlfriend in Kindergarden but he did'nt know and she did,so the entire time he was paying for marriage consoling and was'nt even married she was trying to abort every booty call mission Johnny F.N.Hollywood began.Yeah she was trying to censorfuck it all up for Johnny Hollywood alright.
posted by DoctorCatsburger at 7:42 AM 0 comments

Bertha planned to pimp Johnny Hollywood out to the masses and after an eighteen coarse meal she called up the newspaper,the cable ad channel & the yellow pages to place an ad for the rich censorfucks in an undisclosed location with money falling out of thier censorasses to have thier toilets cleaned by the world reknowned American Poet Johnny Hollywood.But not one of them within seventy miles would let another ad run from J.F.N.H's phone number until someone payed for the massive media strike of "The Search for J.F.N.H.'s all time favorite crack whore.Bertha was so mad she