Open Mic Poetry

Poetic Works
All work should be considered as copyrighted material.
Please participate in open mic!

All Open Mic Participants: We need YOUR help in launching the World in Bloom Project! Please go to the World in Bloom web site and CREATE A PROJECT that makes a difference. Thanks in advance!


We will have a nice dinner and listen to the violins play while we eat and then we will burn a Gibson Flying "V" in the sand beside the ocean on a warm night.
Then go back to the hotel and do some bongs and turn the radio on the televison up real loud so no one can hear us fixing the be d.
-------------
...
- Wednesday, October 08, 2003 at 02:15:04 (PDT)


I will open the car door for you and we will have roses and wine in the hot tub
and I will try to get over your thick white thieghs
-------------
Anonymous
- Wednesday, October 08, 2003 at 01:19:49 (PDT)


aahhhh....
-------------
monica
- Tuesday, October 07, 2003 at 23:17:18 (PDT)


We will have a few drinks and watch a movie
then you will get drunk and piss in the yard under the starry s ky
-------------
Anonymous
- Tuesday, October 07, 2003 at 22:47:59 (PDT)


We will talk for hours over coffee
and later while you are sleeping I will check your couch cushions for ch ange
-------------
.... . .. .. .. .... .
- Tuesday, October 07, 2003 at 22:12:34 (PDT)


we can have a candle light dinner on the seashore as the sun sets and sign up on welfare together
-------------
.......
- Tuesday, October 07, 2003 at 22:10:45 (PDT)


"Skanky Whore"

I love my skanky whore
I love my skanky whore
I love my skanky whore
even though...her ass is big

I love my skanky whore
I love her even more
than I did before
even though...her ass is big

I love my skanky whore
I love my skanky whore
I love my skanky whore
even though...her ass is big
-------------
The Fucking Pot Heads
- Tuesday, October 07, 2003 at 15:24:44 (PDT)


My sweet RS16

Under the stars and moon we listen to the ocean
as you lay upon a bed of white roses
we drink from the crystal
and discuss the time when you
will agree to shave your pits
-------------
Anonymous
- Tuesday, October 07, 2003 at 10:58:41 (PDT)


hApPy BiRtHdAy
-------------
Anonymous
- Tuesday, October 07, 2003 at 10:06:59 (PDT)


u would be the person, who over use the word noob and gay?
-------------
Z
- Tuesday, October 07, 2003 at 08:53:01 (PDT)


thats when the police got there
Z was scraping the crusty shit off the green machine
and getting ready to shoot it into his arm again
pushing it into the needle
so gayly
-------------
Anonymous
- Tuesday, October 07, 2003 at 08:35:17 (PDT)


it was bertha time the clowns told the sargent of arms in the stable of love
Z stood there with his magic greeny and petted the nice doggie named tess
after a few drinks Z talked the praire dog into a round of green machine penetration
then Z's favorite green polito looked golden to him and he spent the rest of the day eating dookie on a green stick
I am hungry for dookie said Z
and tess made a pile large enough for Z's wife to become sickened and she then refused to undergo the operation where she herself would be sporting a greeny that Z liked so much.

So they shot up some herion they had bought from the nice friend Z met playing chess
and Z got very upset with his new fat black friend when he had to give him more quarters for the electronic chess game
and Z became paranoid thinking everyone wanted to get some of his dookie stash and he went thru great lenghs to hide the little doogie named tess

noone wants to eat that doggies doodoo but you Z

said Z's wife who face was now pregenant with many crack sores
-------------
you biotch
- Tuesday, October 07, 2003 at 03:36:56 (PDT)


I say we all suck on poppies, and/or each other is good, too.
-------------
Anonymous
- Monday, October 06, 2003 at 18:40:37 (PDT)


my cross is there with your blonde hair
my mind needs more Jessica plea se
-------------
Anonymous
- Monday, October 06, 2003 at 13:53:13 (PDT)


travis when yah gonna post more poems on the net...same shit still coming up...new stuff please
-------------
Anonymous
- Monday, October 06, 2003 at 12:47:06 (PDT)


"Who really gives a shit?"

Who really gives a shit?
who really cares
I don't give a fuck
thats the way it is
who really gives a shit?

Unless its blonde then thats a different story.
-------------
Travis Ray Cole
- Monday, October 06, 2003 at 06:17:18 (PDT)


I look into your eyes of blue

I love you
-------------
Anonymous
- Monday, October 06, 2003 at 05:54:09 (PDT)


A need to live you say?
To keep breathing in and out this moral decay?
Speak up
I simply cannot hear you

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I want a man who will continually remove the twist
off top from my beer so at least my hands will
always be callous free

-------------
Pretynd
- Sunday, October 05, 2003 at 13:13:41 (PDT)


The hope I am losing has to do with all the people dying around me...how am I expected to keep my chin up when everyone else is there trying to keep it down?
-------------
Anonymous
- Sunday, October 05, 2003 at 07:12:54 (PDT)


you really must have lost your mind thinking that we shouldnt be together forever
you continue to lie to your self
and cause yourself more pain just to fuck with me and hide from the truth
it is you
it is me only

that still stands after all of the rest of the world
falls into the past
living on lies
numb from any feeling
that can be the way you destroy yourself
but I see the love you are missing
and it has a name
the name is us

so hide it
deny it
fight it
try not to like it
it is the only answer we have
the future the you can not kill
but still you continue to delay
the love you need to live
-------------
Anonymous
- Sunday, October 05, 2003 at 06:34:39 (PDT)


"speaking of party" the meg agent inquired

"oh I dont party because I'm going out with a hot cop who makes me piss test each time before she'll sleep with me"

"that cop bitch" the meg agent said very rudely

-------------
Anonymous
- Sunday, October 05, 2003 at 06:26:36 (PDT)


as the pawns are in the way

distant

your answers mean nothing
your desision a wasted reflection

you could have at any time
put me in check
or gained points in capture
instead you sit and stare at the board until it fades into the horizion
easily forgetting what you loved
until you yourself become illrel avent
-------------
Anonymous
- Sunday, October 05, 2003 at 06:20:39 (PDT)


so Z ? you are pretend?
-------------
Anonymous
- Sunday, October 05, 2003 at 03:49:12 (PDT)


Pretending flower, weak of stem,
hangs its crown, 3 breaths from on of the ground.


-------------
Z
- Saturday, October 04, 2003 at 13:08:17 (PDT)


You really must have lost your mind
A thought of you in me you will not find
I have told you once, twice, three times now
To make you understand, I am unsure how
If there were a way to make you believe
Perhaps my own lies I would dare to concieve



What a Fucking night!!
-------------
Pretynd
- Saturday, October 04, 2003 at 09:15:56 (PDT)


Or dayquil, just send some, ill refund u me promise.
-------------
Z
- Saturday, October 04, 2003 at 06:43:59 (PDT)


Wheres the drugs?
Where did u hide my pills, u know the rohypnol, paraflex, stesolid, ketogan, AAAAH the wonders of modern medicine, synthetics really makes ur mouth dry, dims the vision, slurs the thoughts, kills the itch, that annoying itch on the head of my penis, my scull itch, why is it so hard to score opium in this day and age, i wanna me an ecology drug addict, hitting mothers finest and purest straight into the limbic system, while fingering myself, reading johnny bollywood porn, straight of my stained monitor, bend over while the little mizz´z, with a firm grib on my fat hips, butt rapes me with her glow in the dark dildo, with me screaming on the top of my loungs, YES father chrismaz really knows how to have good clean sex, whos ya daddy whos ya daddy, if not the waste of cum that was the prelude to this total waste of space i claime my own, that i choose to piss in its mouth, and happily jerk off my wifes glow in the dark dildo, as the cum spot shakes in rigid head and spawns ever more synthetics, have a nice lunch, while i sit and shit thinking solely of u.


PS: send me some more nightquil, im shaking.
-------------
Anonymous
- Saturday, October 04, 2003 at 06:42:15 (PDT)


scrambled with oregano's fine "Hon"
-------------
Anonymous
- Friday, October 03, 2003 at 09:07:12 (PDT)


"Thats when the shit hit the fan" Berthas mom told Johnny "As soon as we moved in with Gail she started getting real funny"

It was true, as soon as Johnny Holluwood and Bertha's mother arrived at Gails high flautin' condo she did start acting a might pecuilar.Bitching about the dishes not bieng done before Berthas mom was even finished cooking a third of the meal

"How the fuck can you cook the slop with out burning it if this crazy bitch is gonna cry about the dishes not bieng done even before we say grace? What kinda schools they gots out in Aurora anyway Johnny?
I never thuoght I'd say this to one of my Berthas mens but you better get in thar and do some more of that thar stocking pullin' Gail does enjoy so much"
Berthas Momma told Johnny sounding real sorrowful.

"But we got nowhere else to go Momma" Johnny told Berthas mother, "You done got us all kicked outta the trailer park drinkin' that white port and if the Cross Threaded Lesbian Mafia gets a hold of us thier gonna whoop us with an ugly stick."
-------------
... . .. .. . . . .
- Friday, October 03, 2003 at 09:05:30 (PDT)


Bertha Mae took back Johnny Hollywoods nice ass crib in Lake Forest from the lovely Olivia and beat Gabriella in two out of three arm wrestling matches, then opened up a can of whoop ass on Gabriella's sister Ursella and proudly went back to Lake Forest to wait by the pool for the insurance checks to arrive in the mail for Johnny's death.

"Bring me some more lemonade" Bertha told Harpo Marx her new landscaper,"And bring out Johnnys lionel trains,I wanna play with them again before I give them away to chairty"
-------------
....... . . . . . . . .
- Friday, October 03, 2003 at 08:55:14 (PDT)


Johmmy Hollywood went down to the witness relocation center for peoples against the Union of the Cross Threaded Lesbian Mafia and signed up on the waiting list.

"Its going to be about eighteen months,Johnny" the rude obease woman behind the big desk told him.
"Unless you want to get on the crew building the iron gates around the "Monkey Farm Estates" and that will speed up your move in date about thirty days" She said with a smile.

Well it had been a very long time since Johnny Hollywood had a "Moving Date" so he was anxious to sign up on the list thinking they would never find him in "Crack Housing" and he could get a nice FM radio and a color television and find a used up crack whore in the laundry room and live high on the hog.

"Ya all know I don't expect nothin' for nothin',
I just gotta hide from the evil doin's of The Cross Threaded killa's" Johnny told her real ashamed like.
-------------
...............
- Friday, October 03, 2003 at 08:48:36 (PDT)


I did not know it was the right thing to do because I have never heard of zooropa so what I will do instead will be I will sleep until right about the time the only good looking girl on the island walks by then I will be inspired by her beauty and play the blood red gibson I have named "Ratchel" for a while.
But I want you to know that I do not think either one of the things we do today apart mean a damn thing
but our connection is much stronger than what ever we do apart and you are bieng a silly once again.
-------------
Anonymous
- Friday, October 03, 2003 at 07:26:14 (PDT)


Today I am only going to listen to zooropa and in doing so, I plan to pay attention to the lyrics so
that I may know what it is exactly that this album
is trying to say overall. You know that I will know
if you choose to do the same in a different location.
"Oh yeah, how so?" you may ask. Well I will know because the energy wire that connects our brains to-gether will flow heavier with energy weighing me down. Please do not get me wrong as I do want you to
do the same thing that I am doing today only because
we have this gift so we should use it. I am only pointing out that I would be aware that you are doing it too because you know it is the right thing to do.
-------------
Anonymous
- Friday, October 03, 2003 at 06:25:47 (PDT)


I don't know but I can put on the bunny ears and we can
find out

scr ambled?
-------------
Eve
- Thursday, October 02, 2003 at 16:23:59 (PDT)


Satan finally did call Johnny Hollywood,he waited for what seemed like an enternty.

"I can't be seen with you Hollywood,You owe the Cross Threaded Lesbian Mafia a lot of money,and I don't need that kind of bad publicity" Said the lucious red head.

"Baby please don't go" Johnny started singing the same old alvin lee song he always sung to her.

"No Johnny,my public relations people are totally against the ideal of me and you" She echoed into his brain forever.

The chili peppers " I could have lied" ripped what was left of his brain in half"

"Oh, Gretchen I can change" Johnny begged

"You sound like a fucking soap" she laughed .

Johnny Hollywood knew he had to put her down and find a hole to hide in before the Cross Threaded Lesbian Mafia caught him for the last ti me.

-------------
....
- Thursday, October 02, 2003 at 14:24:44 (PDT)


Johnny Hollywood woke up as the six bulgarian women in thier seventys beat him with hockey sticks,SLAP slap SWAT swat WAP wap. he turned over and pulled the covers back over his head then went back to sleep.
-------------
........
- Thursday, October 02, 2003 at 14:16:50 (PDT)


"PUPPET STRINGS AND SPILLED INK" The preacher said.
the asian lady was chanting some weird shit too.

"I never seen Johnny Hollywood in a tux before" Said Barbie

"Yeah,he looks better" said Bertha as she and her sisters dug thru Johnny's pockets and looked under the pillows of his casket.

"Its a real nice casket" Said Betty the hottest of all the sisters.
In the clouds Johnny strummed his guitar as God walked by and he knew if he had new strings he could please her ears,then he once again considered going wireless so he could see her better and have the inspiration he would need.

Johnny Hollywood need to lay low so the Cross Threaded Lesbian Mafia would not find him.
He lost another round of bingo and was in over his head.

"You should just give up on the red head Johnny,You know she is Satan" Said Johnny Hollywoods favorite striper nun .
-------------
.........
- Thursday, October 02, 2003 at 14:12:05 (PDT)


Winner Winner Winner

Miss OCTOBER

Jessica
-------------
.
- Thursday, October 02, 2003 at 12:34:28 (PDT)


"Nope, was'nt me" Gail said quickly

"Yeah,forth of July, The Cross threaded Lesbian Mafia Union's picnic" Bertha said as if it was a question.

Gail stood up to hide the plaque she had won that day in the wheel barrel races for coming in first place.
"Now Johnny Hollywood I want you and Bertha Mae to shake hands and say your sorry" Said Gail changing
the subject.

Johnny was sorry all right,he was sorry he ever met Bertha because she had broke his little heart every day since.

Just then the leader of the Cross Threaded Lesbian Mafia burst into Gails office and picked up Johnny Hollywood up and tossed him into the wal SPLAT he slide down the wall and onto the plastic "Twister" floor covering then she belly bustered the liquid out of his body pinning him in only a couple of seconds.

"Your going to kill him"
Gail Cried as the leader of the Cross Threaded Lesbian Mafia tore Gails stockings off.Gail quickly forgot about Bertha and Johnny Hollywood as her and the leader of the Cross Threaded Lesbian Mafia broke every piece of lawn furniture Gail had in her office.

Bertha snuk out of the office door in all of the excitment leaving Johnny for dead,she did tell the recieptionist at the front desk
"Johnny Hollywood could die right now and she would'nt care because he never loved her if he was that obsessed with Gretchen now"
-------------
....
- Thursday, October 02, 2003 at 05:28:02 (PDT)


I'm so glad you did'nt ask me to massage
your chaulpa again.
-------------
Anonymous
- Thursday, October 02, 2003 at 03:39:17 (PDT)



'THE HELL BARRRR,PART DEUX"
I followed my heart.and it lesd to the helly underbelly underdog righteous sinister sin.forgive me for sipping diet coke rums on the sabbath. and being molten in to the dali-lama of all ROCK N ROLL secrecies. DO NO BE THE VIRTUOSO.DO NOT BE THE
SNAZZBERRY IGNORANT SON OF WACK.DO NOT BE THE IDOL
OF RADIO PLAY.did i hear an echo at the pergatory
teenage morgue? the stench is "INTERSTING "yet
vomitous in its own choke. im not a shy girl
wih reclusive intentions just a spice shelf of atrophe frowning and cackling in the majestic colliseum of middle fingers pointing directly on whos shit list?
-------------
monica
- Wednesday, October 01, 2003 at 23:17:34 (PDT)



'the bell jarrrrrrrr'


what i is ...what it is its almost like being axsphisiated ITS MY ROOM.boxes thrown,kicked about,
ends without-its almost as if theyre fucking each other,choking the ether.MY HEAD.and i live in
fear. i,the centrifugal force of bullshit on a
carcass bed-sans sheets.colecting thoughts and infinte equations of a drearing darig doom.up on a
shelf fearting on shit mites and farting dust ,
the most violent of these crimes come as nature -all.
most violent forces in this world are earth elemental,
and that is why i am elementally enraged.the unpredictable ASSAILANT.like a jack in the box
stepping on an ant pile and STAYING THERE.ooking forward to dog years,yhis is all ill ever need...
the last piece of a infinate of desilution homr
recipe.EAT MY SHIT-and my fruit
-------------
Anonymous
- Wednesday, October 01, 2003 at 22:35:11 (PDT)





my fingers thru your blonde hair
my eyes inside of yours
our lips keep the rest of the world outside
of our dreams
-------------
Anonymous
- Wednesday, October 01, 2003 at 21:21:41 (PDT)


Dear eve,
theres some funny writing stamped
right on the shell of the eggs
we had bought from the supermarket
whats it fer? and what in the dog should we do?
-------------
Anonymous
- Wednesday, October 01, 2003 at 11:44:49 (PDT)


Why?
Your just going to throw it up again anyway.
-------------
Anonymous
- Wednesday, October 01, 2003 at 09:39:14 (PDT)


there should be a surefire way to keep hopes low
with no surprises
dissapointment avoidence
disclaimer ventricle defense

the girls in there are butter

you have no game
but I never liked sports anyhow

you're a jackass and you don't know what you're missing



-------------
Eve
- Wednesday, October 01, 2003 at 08:46:49 (PDT)


They are out there and they know you wrotte that
before you even pressed the submit button.

Well,not really out there,
in here.
-------------
Anonymous
- Wednesday, October 01, 2003 at 08:01:27 (PDT)


I'm to tired to sign up on welfare
my caseworker thinks I'm lazy
and the watermelon lady says I just don't care

-------------
Anonymous
- Wednesday, October 01, 2003 at 07:49:18 (PDT)


oh christmas tree
oh blonde of bleach
theres frost on the cat box gr avel
-------------
Anonymous
- Wednesday, October 01, 2003 at 07:27:54 (PDT)


The deck was stacked against me,
from the very start.
I bet every chip I had,
I even bet my heart.

The hand delt me showed promise,
two aces a queen and a king.
This game of life seemed easy,
I swear that I was winning.

By taking every trick I could,
I thought I was so smart.
But the only queen I held so dear
was Spades. Not the Queen of Hear ts
-------------
spottmonster
- Wednesday, October 01, 2003 at 07:01:23 (PDT)


your going to sit there and tell me all that glitters in the cat box is not gold?
you can fuck off!
-------------
Anonymous
- Wednesday, October 01, 2003 at 06:57:38 (PDT)


I wanna play pretends right until the end baby
-------------
Anonymous
- Wednesday, October 01, 2003 at 05:44:34 (PDT)


The pop quiz you've been waiting for.

The cold water of the toilet sterilzes the
germs from human excretment
(numorous dookies each day)
and therefore it is beneficial for
Mr. Pooh Pooh (your pet or pets)
to drink from
the aforementioned fountian of youth
because Mr. Pooh Pooh builds up a restianance
to the grem free extra chunky H2O
and it only makes him or her stronger
and by making Mr. Pooh Pooh's resistance stronger
it enhances the humans immune system
that the shiteater lives with as well.

A. Yes to sum it all up,This is the honest to god truth,and I am willing to die fighting anyone who does'nt believe this is the way to go.

B.Yes this is true, but eating from the cat box is a much easier way for the animals to build up thier restance.

C. That is sick,but I enjoy letting my pets eat shit and drink out of the toilet that people shit into {how many times a day?} right along with the next guy because it builds character.

D.I only agree with the part about the cold water sterlizing the shit water therefore making it safe for not only Mr. Pooh Pooh to have an occassional beverage,but the entire communitty could live on it if there was a war or something.

E. I disagree
-------------
...... .. .. .
- Wednesday, October 01, 2003 at 05:43:44 (PDT)


maybe if you lose some of that ass
our love would stand a chance
maybe if you cared about yourself
then so would someone else

maybe if you was'nt always so stinking drunk
you'ld be the one I fuck
maybe if you had some class
you'ld be my piece of ass

maybe if you was'nt stuck on greed
you would be the one I see
maybe if it was'nt all mind games
and always looking for someone else to blame

maybe if you'ld lose some of that ass
our love could stand a chance
-------------
tard
- Wednesday, October 01, 2003 at 03:20:12 (PDT)


How long can you hold
On to what’s dead
Before the decay
Sickens your head

The mental disease
Called love is strong
Yours was so potent
I held on so long

The Body is broken
The heart pumps rust
I’m sick with what’s lost
The lifeblood called trust

Your feelings for me
Fall on deaf ears
You made a reality
Of my worst fear

How long can I hold
On to what’s dead
Before the decay
Sickens my head

Thousands of miles
I carried this pain
With desperate hopes
Nothing was gained

I used to care
I promise I tried
Now I am spent
My love...
It has has died

-------------
Spottmonster
- Wednesday, October 01, 2003 at 01:22:19 (PDT)


indeed.
-------------
Anonymous
- Tuesday, September 30, 2003 at 16:38:02 (PDT)


shut up
-------------
Anonymous
- Tuesday, September 30, 2003 at 15:40:05 (PDT)


Your straight line
Is at an angle
and I am still
trying to figure out
just what it is
-------------
Pretynd
- Tuesday, September 30, 2003 at 06:09:39 (PDT)


that the way you want it?
thats the way you want it to be?
thats what you want?

-------------
Anonymous
- Tuesday, September 30, 2003 at 05:49:56 (PDT)


Johnny Hollywood picked bertha up in the horse drawn wagon and rode thru town to the barn dance hootenany
to celebrate his death
when they arrived he found out that he did'nt even have bertha with him he was out on the town with one of her sisters but still they partied all the same.
-------------
.....
- Tuesday, September 30, 2003 at 01:58:09 (PDT)


Last night there was a terrible accident
The person who wites endlessly about
Johnny Hollywood and
Bertha Mae
Found a life
He will no longer be writing
On this site
Let the celebration commence
-------------
Anonymous
- Monday, September 29, 2003 at 20:45:58 (PDT)


The sun was shining and every cloud looked like Bertha.
There was music in the air.

The state park forest ranger came 'round and said "Thats a rap Ya all gots to be movin' on,ya done worn out yer welcome and yer two weeks is up.
You fellers can be here for more than two weeks.
But Bertha and Harpo could stay with me if they like,I got the nineteen seventy-six dodge motor home parked in c 13,but you gots to go Mr. Hollywood.
You can camp next to the nuke plant if you like its not that far away and they'll let you stay fourteen days"

Johnny was hoping Harpo would stay and find a new home in the dodge.

Johnny Hollywood sucked the bartenders toes until She said she'ld have his children.
That was all fine and well except for the fact that she did not have any health insurance.
"Oh Well,Fuck it" He said Joyfully.
Only then did Johnny Hollywood wake up and realise
the Cross Threaded Lesbian Mafia had shut the cable off
bringing an end to his pschic connection with Britney Spears.

"Shes never going to let you be her guitarist,anyway!" said Harpo Marx as she pulled up the tent stakes.

"I'd just feel a whole lot better about it if the holes we dug was for the dookie bucket." Johnny told Harpo as she made she the fire was out.

"I'm out doors you know" the radio sung
-------------
.....
- Monday, September 29, 2003 at 14:18:19 (PDT)


I'm gonna kill Johnny Hollywood...
-------------
Anonymous
- Monday, September 29, 2003 at 13:36:18 (PDT)


Johnny Hollywood slammed the clip into the handgun and shot holes into the side of sodbusters welfare cadillac.

"The government paid me not to grow nothing Johnny"
Sodbuster said as he squealled the tires and did a reverse drop and then T-boned Johnnys Hummer that he had been hiding from Olivia so he would have something to chili cruise Gretchen around in after the big "trial" seperation.

"It ain't about yer welfare,you clusterfuck retard" Said Johnny as he slid the second clip in.

Sodbuster knew it was all about Bertha.

"I knew that bitch would kill me,one way or another"
He said to himself .
-------------
.. . .. . . .
- Monday, September 29, 2003 at 08:19:48 (PDT)


The clouds parted,the sky opened
and Johnny Hollywood could see
the most beautiful of all the angels in heaven
was wearing the bunny ears and looking very apethic as she cut the pizza.

In his heart he felt each shift of the knife as it ripped it into pieces.

Shred
he loved her even more
shred
past the blue s
-------------
...............
- Monday, September 29, 2003 at 08:10:50 (PDT)


Johnny Hollywood woke up in the court room and his beautiful attorney "Gabriella" was nowhre to be found.
The Judge was reading from a book and the county Sheriff was smilin' from ear to ear.

"Do you Johnny Hollywood take Shitbag over here to be yours and whoever gets there before you's,from now until you kill her or die of the worlds record for STD's?"Asked the Judge smilin' like he was on crack.

Johnny looked at his feets and they was'nt shackled.
Johnny looked at shitbag and wondered when this fucking nightmare was going to end.
Johnny looked at the door then at the jag officer's gun.

"Run Johnny" said lugnut number one
Johnny's high tech navigational system kicked in and he remembered there was at least a couple more good looking women on the island he did inhabitate
and with that message from his second lugnut he was gone.
Lynyrd Skynyrd songs played in his mind.

Nevermind the elevator
Johnny jumped down a flight of stairs at a time
he had to get away from shitbag
and end this nightmare
if he could only wake up
but, he was already awake
thus complicating his life even more
not even the Bertha medicene could make this go away.
-------------
.. . ... . .. . ....
- Monday, September 29, 2003 at 07:55:12 (PDT)


"Your never going to find any violets in the snow"
The lovely Goddess again told Johnny Hollywood
right before he froze to death.

-------------
.......
- Monday, September 29, 2003 at 07:42:40 (PDT)


"I told you before Johnny Hollywood,
there are no plautues" Said God with her halo shining above her yellow rose colored hair.

Johnny stood on top of the highest mountain in the southwestern United States and chipped away the ice

"Wendy!! Wendy!!" Yelled Johnny Hollywood.

"Johnny,Your never going to find any violets in the snow." God told Johnny once again.
-------------
......
- Monday, September 29, 2003 at 07:39:51 (PDT)


"let Me Help You With Your Cat Box"

Let me help you's with yer Cat Box
let me help you Cat Box baby
let me help you within your Cat Box
If I may,maybe please

Won't you let me Cat Box Honey?
check it one time and see
let me help you with your Cat Box
see what the problem may be

Let me help you with your Cat Box
You know just what I mean
let me help you with your Cat Box
It looks like it needs some plumbing see?
-------------
....
- Monday, September 29, 2003 at 06:10:09 (PDT)


Johnny Hollywood woke up in the stands holding the football like it was the girl who worked at the bank.
There we're sweepers approaching at Ten o'clock.
The game was way past over and the lights on the score board were out and cold.

He now believed it was the evil satanic workings of Cross Threaded Lesbian Mafia Choir singing thier Crossthreaded anthym that had caused him all this all of this pain.

The Sky was grey and those wernt roses blooming in the Cat Box today.

Johnny Hollywood thought about Hitler and the mistakes he had made in battle and knew the Cross Threaded Ladies had not yet won the war.

Although He was bieng pressured to make a diagnosis prematurely.

Cupcake needed some sorting out that was for shure,but not a complete waste of time.

"Gretchen,Honey I loves you" He carved into all of his guitars,even the one named Toyya or Tardzilla or whatever that fucking bitches name was.

"Your in denial here,Johnny" Said Gail ever so sweetly.
"You really did tattoo a certian red guitar on your arm and I think it really means something to you
Deeper than dreams.
This could be the Key,
What do you think of when you see the color red?"

"Bull...Dykes?dogs?" Johnny Hollywood asked.

"Johnny Hollywood knew from the get go it would be a mistake to tattoo his favorite bartender on his skin,but he did it any God damn way" said Harpo Marx from behind the couch.

"Whys she in here,Johnny,It costs more for a group session" Said Gail all pissy.
-------------
............. . . .. .. . . ..
- Monday, September 29, 2003 at 03:42:41 (PDT)


"Can you make it so I can just check my email here?"
Asked Box Car Jesus.

"I need to buy some tattoo ink off of ebay" Said honest Abe.
-------------
Anonymous
- Saturday, September 27, 2003 at 14:20:54 (PDT)


smell the gas johnny it will kill you said the evil leader of the cross threaded lesbian mafia
-------------
Anonymous
- Saturday, September 27, 2003 at 04:07:37 (PDT)


During the night harpo marx had found her way to the campsite of sir Johnny Hollywood
and begun digging.
he heard the noise and opened the tent to see what kind of animal was out there
and what a surprise
"You can not a fire me,Johnny Hollywood" said his very dedicated landscaper

"Get the fuck outta here,I can't pay you anything I have nothing" he tried to explain to his retarded slav e

-------------
Anonymous
- Saturday, September 27, 2003 at 04:06:01 (PDT)


I miss the pizza knife said Johnny as he pounded out the bar chords to Louie Louie


-------------
...... . .. . .
- Saturday, September 27, 2003 at 03:56:43 (PDT)


Even though it was Bertha day again
no one had brought any presents to the party


Johnny Hollywood stepped out of the shit stinking tent
for the first time in three days to dump the sand bucket he had converted into a comode out in the woods and head into town to get some kinda shit bucket disease medication if he could

"Did ya try that thar jock itch medicene on it,Johnny?"
asked Box Car Jesus.

when I think about what I could have done with all that money I spent on toilet paper Johnny said as he wiped his ass on the grass like a dog with shit stain issues.
"What would've you could've you done with that kinda money asked lulu the under cover bouncer for the cross threaded lesbian mafias union meetings on tuesday and thursday nights.
whaen you all going to finish signing up for welfare asked the nasty crackwhore who hogged the shit bucket all the time therefore had the biggest shit bucket rash at karokee night in three counties

"Johnny? is that you? Johnny Hew Haw Hollywood?
you son of a bitch!" said the desil dyke who looked a lot like elton john

Johnny hoped she was a woman so he would'nt be embarrasd in front of everyone because even though he did'nt want to go home with the polish immergrant who now became his special friend he had to check the bartender etiquite handbook to see if any of this was
gonna fuck it up for teying to get up with the hot little bartender

so he put the nine millimeter to shitbags head and pulled the trigger thinking he might get some kinda award for helping rid society of a piece of shit disease
-------------
Anonymous
- Saturday, September 27, 2003 at 03:53:44 (PDT)


You have for me the cat box oatmeal
I honestly think so its a good deal
-------------
Anonymous
- Friday, September 26, 2003 at 13:52:33 (PDT)


My love for you is seventy-seven cat boxes high
-------------
Anonymous
- Friday, September 26, 2003 at 13:50:38 (PDT)


I am not that counter girl
I do not service in this lane
Obviously you are mistaken
Why dont you give her a try?
I'm sure she will be your very own
personal whore
Just let me be your favorite
-------------
Pretynd
- Friday, September 26, 2003 at 10:47:04 (PDT)


O.K.,just give me half your stuff

and I'll be half ass grateful

-------------
Anonymous
- Friday, September 26, 2003 at 05:54:11 (PDT)


Death is only a shadow
-------------
Anonymous
- Friday, September 26, 2003 at 05:43:52 (PDT)


Norma Jean loved to play
Norma Jean hated the rain
Norma Jean had long hair
Norma Jean was scared of bears
Norma Jean forgot to grow
Norma Jean was Marilyn Monroe
-------------
Pins & Needles
- Thursday, September 25, 2003 at 18:31:11 (PDT)


"Johnny Hollywood lost his nice ass crib to Olivia
and moved into the state park in a dirty tent
on real cold nights or if it was raining he would piss in a bucket and dump it out in the woods the next day
it did'nt smell good and he caught the dreaded piss bucket disease.

He made friends quickly with his deer calls and a squirrel started stalking him
it kinda reminded him of you so he named the little animal after you
which is sad and pathetic but it was the only way he could keep going on.
He found an old schwinn ten speed in the garbage and fixed it so he could have wheels
and lived happily ever after" Box Car Jesus told the other wino's sitting around the campfire as they passed a forty ouncer around spreading herpes,hepatitus and tubeculosis to each other.

Then "Abe"(everyone called him Abe because he looked like Abe Lincoln) He stood up and said "I'm gonna turn in fer the night so as I can get up to the soup kitchen fer breakfast
I don't wanna wait in no lines."

During the night somebody stole his shoes.
he had a long walk barefoot to Sally's (The Salvation Army)when he got there there was a line of people a block and a half long

he got in line behind "Dymond Dave" from the big rock band Van Hagar
"I see yer bearfootin' it to today Dymond Dave" Said Honest Abe

"Yep, my pimp done took my shoes away" Said David Lee Roth.

"Mine got gone too, in the middle of the night"Said abe as he passed the crack pipe to Dymond Dave.

"What really happened to Johnny Hollywood?" asked David Lee Roth

Abe took a big hit of a scrub pad and held it in for a while,then he thought about it and said "The last time I really seen Johnny Hollywood, I was down at welfare on Larence Ave. and he stumbled in thar drunk as a dog yelling at the crowd "Ain't you never seen no rock star on welfare" then he passed out in the lobby for a while and by lunch time he went home with a big ol' fat heffer."

"Your lying" Said David Lee Roth
-------------
..........
- Thursday, September 25, 2003 at 14:14:03 (PDT)


you belong with me
you silly goose
-------------
Anonymous
- Thursday, September 25, 2003 at 13:55:56 (PDT)


Yes Ma'am,and I would like to do that line
off your buttocks,if I may.
-------------
Anonymous
- Thursday, September 25, 2003 at 13:20:42 (PDT)


there is still one line open...
-------------
Anonymous
- Thursday, September 25, 2003 at 10:25:56 (PDT)



how can I come to terms with you
a service to the community
when you are the problem
trust displayed as humor content
reel it in try again
until your done robbing the emptiest heart
rotting the eclipsed core with money
ashes fall on swollen breasts like leaves
no ones blowing me any kisses
echoing the losing bet
its not worth anything
is this as bad as it can get?
wishing I could throw down this hand
as beauty lies to time
stealing from our leaders crime
I dont want anything
except what used to be
except what was never mine

-------------
Anonymous
- Thursday, September 25, 2003 at 07:53:15 (PDT)


do we gotta play this game
why cant you just give me the stuff
-------------
Anonymous
- Thursday, September 25, 2003 at 07:51:38 (PDT)


someone's getting closer *****Honestly, I am grateful****** We've got a winner on that line...that line is now closed
-------------
Anonymous
- Thursday, September 25, 2003 at 06:13:27 (PDT)


Where the Fuck do I belong?
-------------
Pretynd
- Wednesday, September 24, 2003 at 23:42:25 (PDT)


I got it!its a prayer!

Dear God

You shared with me Sweet Ratchel
Honestly I am very Grateful
-------------
amen
- Wednesday, September 24, 2003 at 21:15:59 (PDT)


You shared with me __the poem-a-matic_________
Honestly, I am _a writing fanatic?_____
-------------
Anonymous
- Wednesday, September 24, 2003 at 13:22:30 (PDT)


I shared wit yous my email address
I honestly am waiting for you to cal l?
-------------
Anonymous
- Wednesday, September 24, 2003 at 11:22:57 (PDT)


can i get another hint
-------------
Anonymous
- Wednesday, September 24, 2003 at 11:15:01 (PDT)


Keep trying.......eventually you may get it
-------------
Anonymous
- Wednesday, September 24, 2003 at 10:40:29 (PDT)


You shared with me __cindi laumper___________
Honestly, I am ______going to kill you______________.
-------------
Anonymous
- Wednesday, September 24, 2003 at 06:34:49 (PDT)


You shared with me __because the night___________
Honestly, I am ______going to kill you______________.
-------------
Anonymous
- Wednesday, September 24, 2003 at 06:34:20 (PDT)


You shared with me __walking on sunshine___________
Honestly, I am ______going to kill you______________.
-------------
Anonymous
- Wednesday, September 24, 2003 at 06:34:02 (PDT)


You shared with me __
the entire pat benetar cataloge___________
Honestly, I am ______going to kill you___ ___________.
-------------
Anonymous
- Wednesday, September 24, 2003 at 06:33:34 (PDT)


You shared with me __99 luft ballons___________
Honestly, I am ______going to kill you______________.
-------------
Anonymous
- Wednesday, September 24, 2003 at 06:32:42 (PDT)


You shared with me __your problem___________
Honestly, I am ______going to kill you______________.
-------------
Anonymous
- Wednesday, September 24, 2003 at 06:32:14 (PDT)


You shared with me __you___________
Honestly, I am ______going to kill you______________.
-------------
Anonymous
- Wednesday, September 24, 2003 at 06:31:51 (PDT)


You shared with me __your mental illness___________
Honestly, I am ______going to kill you______________.
-------------
Anonymous
- Wednesday, September 24, 2003 at 06:31:21 (PDT)


You shared with me __stupidity___________
Honestly, I am ______going to kill you______________.
-------------
Anonymous
- Wednesday, September 24, 2003 at 06:30:57 (PDT)


You shared with me __all your lies___________
Honestly, I am ______going to kill you______________.
-------------
Anonymous
- Wednesday, September 24, 2003 at 06:30:27 (PDT)


You shared with me _____________
Honestly, I am _________________.
-------------
Anonymous
- Wednesday, September 24, 2003 at 06:26:11 (PDT)


You shared with me __the bertha medication___________
Honestly, I am _______waiting for it to kick in______ ______.
-------------
Anonymous
- Wednesday, September 24, 2003 at 06:25:04 (PDT)


You shared with me __the bertha medication___________
Honestly, I am _______waiting for the wake and bake to begin_____________.
-------------
Anonymous
- Wednesday, September 24, 2003 at 06:24:32 (PDT)


You shared with me __your mothers yeast infection___________
Honestly, I am _ not wearing protection_______ ____________.
-------------
Anonymous
- Wednesday, September 24, 2003 at 06:22:15 (PDT)


You shared with me __your mothers yeast infection___________
Honestly, I am _ wearing protection___________ ________.
-------------
Anonymous
- Wednesday, September 24, 2003 at 06:22:02 (PDT)


You shared with me ___your honey cakes__________
Honestly, I am ___not making a mistake_________________.
-------------
Anonymous
- Wednesday, September 24, 2003 at 06:21:15 (PDT)


You shared with me _____dollar for donuts________
Honestly, I am _____tired of doin your sister____________ ___.
-------------
Anonymous
- Wednesday, September 24, 2003 at 06:19:56 (PDT)


You shared with me ____your odor_________
Honestly, I am ______retarded ______________.
-------------
Anonymous
- Wednesday, September 24, 2003 at 06:18:40 (PDT)


You shared with me _____________welfare poetry
Honestly, I am ____________________scratching my balls.
-------------
Anonymous
- Wednesday, September 24, 2003 at 06:17:41 (PDT)


Johnny Hollywood went to the lake where the nuke plant
does most of its dumping and filled fourteen milk jugs full of the contaminated water to make ice cubes for the big party that night.

"What the hells wrong with you Johnny?" asked his gorgeous blonde wife as she carried her suitcase to the door. "You,Bertha and the Russian mail order brides can fuck off,and You can bet I'm getting the Lake Forest Estate" She said as she kicked her poodle across the foyer.

Johnny did'nt care if she "took everything even the immigrant phygm and Bertha too,as long as he still had a Camaro and a Gibson S.G. a man does'nt really need anything else in life" He told Special "K" as she went out the door with whats her name and her poodle
singing the seventy's song "Don't call us,we'll call you"

Well it's not going to be much of a party Johnny Hollywood thought.

Ding Dong the door bell was ringing over and over
it was the nice hillbilly cheerleaders from West Virgina who came over every other day or so to be tutored by the Russians in english.

Johnny Hollywood was so embarassed his lovely wife and his nurse left him he almost did'nt even want to answer the door but as he looked out the window he could see the Cross Threaded Lesbian Mafia rounding the corner and he figured if he don't let the hillbillys in the cross threaded lesbians would have them inducted into the cross threaded hall of fame by night fall.

So he opened the door quickly.
the slutiest hillbilly said "trick or treat"
and Johnny knew it was'nt going to be haloween from a while but it did'nt matter.these ladies need to be schooled up and fast
so he showed them to the pollock bitches quarters and
only kept one hillbilly for his own personel use
right in the middle of giving her the tour of the coach house she proudly told him how when she was back at home in the holler three of the trailers in her holler all shared the same out house

"This is so confusing" Johnny told her
"all the trailers up here in the north gots the shitters inside them, did ya all buy yer trailers before nineteen twenty or before they invented trailers or what?" he asked the stupid beauty who loved to do her little cheers even after Johnny convinced her hillbillyness to wear the bunny ears

Johnny figured if he knocked her up she would quit doing her little cheers so he begat trying to breed
with an iliterate hillbilly only because she looked nice
"Its still better than that nasty "Jersey" accent" Johnny Hollywood told himself

"Whens ya all gonna let me get all schooled up thar Johnny?" asked the sweet barefoot hillbilly

Johnny thought about it for a while and decieded he better let the Russian pollocks who just got to the country try and teach some sense to the hillbilly if hes gonna knock her up

"I'm leaving you Johnny Hollywood Your to controling and just want me to be bearfoot and pregenat" Said the hillbilly who put coleslaw on her chilli dogs.

"Fuck it,Johnny thought as he told everyone to get the hell out "Everyone has to leave!" He told them all
"Everyones got to go,the cults over"

"But I thought we are the manson family,Johnny" said his rude landscaper "Harpo Marx"

"Everyone out!!" Yelled Johnny Hollywood as he picked up Chris' crown and started to throw it out on to the lawn with all the other shit he tossed out there
but he could'nt do it.

-------------
.....
- Wednesday, September 24, 2003 at 06:15:17 (PDT)


You shared with me your freckledness_____________
Honestly, I am still looking for your breasts ___________ _________.
-------------
Anonymous
- Wednesday, September 24, 2003 at 05:33:58 (PDT)


You shared with me _
your bi-polar cat box cup cakes____________

Honestly, I am trying not to say shake n bake____________________.
-------------
Anonymous
- Wednesday, September 24, 2003 at 05:32:46 (PDT)


You shared with me __your STD's___________
Honestly, I am not that happ y
-------------
Anonymous
- Wednesday, September 24, 2003 at 05:30:36 (PDT)


You shared with me your soup train stain_____________
Honestly, I am stuck in the overflowing cat box
-------------
Anonymous
- Wednesday, September 24, 2003 at 05:27:39 (PDT)


I have a 30 Cm glow in the dark dildo, that my wife uses on me, u wanna borrow it?

(havent really figured out why it glows in the dark, thoug h).

-------------
Z
- Wednesday, September 24, 2003 at 05:03:18 (PDT)


You shared with me some bullshit_____________
Honestly, I am thinking on our date we will have a nice candlelight dinner on the beach with magic candles that stay lit on the beach darrrrrrrrrrr____________________.
-------------
Anonymous
- Wednesday, September 24, 2003 at 03:34:19 (PDT)


You shared with me poetry_____________
Honestly, I am really me________ ____________.

-------------
Anonymous
- Wednesday, September 24, 2003 at 01:41:29 (PDT)


You shared with me nada_____________
Honestly, I am out there__________ __________.

-------------
Anonymous
- Wednesday, September 24, 2003 at 01:40:21 (PDT)


You shared with me your art and beauty_____________
Honestly, I am in love with Jessica____________________ .

-------------
Anonymous
- Wednesday, September 24, 2003 at 01:39:42 (PDT)


You shared with me grimms fairy tales_____________
Honestly, I am in love with a bleach blonde_____________ _______.

-------------
Anonymous
- Wednesday, September 24, 2003 at 01:38:23 (PDT)


You shared with me burrittos_____________
Honestly, I am clinicly dead ____________________.

-------------
Anonymous
- Wednesday, September 24, 2003 at 01:36:10 (PDT)


You shared with me your cousin_____________
Honestly, I am not done the n____________________.

-------------
Anonymous
- Wednesday, September 24, 2003 at 01:35:19 (PDT)


You shared with me the game_____________
Honestly, I am in check_______ _____________.

-------------
Anonymous
- Wednesday, September 24, 2003 at 01:31:03 (PDT)


You shared with me many movies_____________
Honestly, I am remembering every sylable you ever said_________ ___________.

-------------
Anonymous
- Wednesday, September 24, 2003 at 01:30:23 (PDT)


You shared with me breakfast lunch and dinner_____________
Honestly, I am ready to admit I never heard a thing you said because I was to busy admiring your beauty
______________ ______.

-------------
Anonymous
- Wednesday, September 24, 2003 at 01:29:39 (PDT)


You shared with me your lies_____________
Honestly, I am willing to die



4 yer love-
ski ___________ _________.

-------------
Anonymous
- Wednesday, September 24, 2003 at 01:27:43 (PDT)


You shared with me your secret_____________
Honestly, I am still keeping it,
no shit____________________.
-------------
Anonymous
- Wednesday, September 24, 2003 at 01:26:39 (PDT)


You shared with me ___your true love__________
Honestly, I am nuts ____ ________________.

-------------
Anonymous
- Wednesday, September 24, 2003 at 01:25:53 (PDT)


You shared with me __pancakes___________
Honestly, I am _____waiting to copulate-ski_______________.

-------------
Anonymous
- Wednesday, September 24, 2003 at 01:25:28 (PDT)


You shared with me ___watermelon and fried chicken__________
Honestly, I am _____sick in the head from the cat box_______________.

-------------
Anonymous
- Wednesday, September 24, 2003 at 01:24:42 (PDT)


You shared with me ___the trouble with mental patients__________
Honestly, I am tired of mental patients___ _________________.

-------------
Anonymous
- Wednesday, September 24, 2003 at 01:23:38 (PDT)


You shared with me ___yer story__________
Honestly, I am ___not talking about you when i write fucked up poetry? about bi polar lesbians because I know a lot of them and I know your not a lesbian,ya dig_____________ ____.

-------------
Anonymous
- Wednesday, September 24, 2003 at 01:22:21 (PDT)


You shared with me ___pizza__________
Honestly, I am ___a bastard?_____ ____________.

-------------
Anonymous
- Wednesday, September 24, 2003 at 01:20:26 (PDT)


You shared with me your dirty bath water_____________
Honestly, I am
not the one who peed in the floor
_ ___________________.
-------------
-------------
Anonymous
- Wednesday, September 24, 2003 at 01:16:36 (PDT)


You shared with me _____________
Honestly, I am ____________________.
-------------
Anonymous
- Wednesday, September 24, 2003 at 00:59:32 (PDT)


You shared with me _____tardfest________
Honestly, I am _____
wanting you,the very best_______________.
-------------
Anonymous
- Wednesday, September 24, 2003 at 00:57:42 (PDT)


Let me give it a try, to win the used condom and ur sunday bra.

1. rectal pleasure?

2. a force-feedback dentist?
-------------
Z
- Wednesday, September 24, 2003 at 00:06:57 (PDT)


So like,Your not going to call.
-------------
Anonymous
- Tuesday, September 23, 2003 at 22:53:21 (PDT)


hurry gimmie your stuff
-------------
Anonymous
- Tuesday, September 23, 2003 at 22:18:11 (PDT)


You shared with me __yesterday___________
Honestly, I am ______still waiting______________.



I married a nut
because she looked like you
when you turn the light off
and turn the outside light on and it shines thru the shade on her face
I could see you
she called the cops on me for no reason a lot
she was bi polar
I am crazy now


You shared with me _____________
Honestly, I am ____________________.

-------------
Anonymous
- Tuesday, September 23, 2003 at 19:41:07 (PDT)


You shared with me _____the past________
Honestly, I am _____
dreaming about your hot ass_______________.
-------------
Anonymous
- Tuesday, September 23, 2003 at 19:36:06 (PDT)


You shared with me ___some heart breaking flirting__________
Honestly, I am ______still hurting____________ __.

-------------
Anonymous
- Tuesday, September 23, 2003 at 19:35:21 (PDT)


You shared with me ____confusion_________
Honestly, I am _______losin'_ ____________.

-------------
Anonymous
- Tuesday, September 23, 2003 at 19:33:47 (PDT)


You shared with me ____your mind_________
Honestly, I am _______inside_ ____________.

-------------
Anonymous
- Tuesday, September 23, 2003 at 19:32:55 (PDT)


You shared with me _____natilie merchant________
Honestly, I am _______
still in love with you____________ _.

-------------
Anonymous
- Tuesday, September 23, 2003 at 19:32:15 (PDT)


You shared with me _____matchbox twenty________
Honestly, I am ______
repulsed,but very in love with you__ ____________.

-------------
Anonymous
- Tuesday, September 23, 2003 at 19:31:35 (PDT)


You shared with me _____portis head________
Honestly, I am ______
in love with you until I die____________ __.

-------------
Anonymous
- Tuesday, September 23, 2003 at 19:30:44 (PDT)


You shared with me _____a painful goodbye________
Honestly, I am
______more reclusive than shy___________ ___.

-------------
Anonymous
- Tuesday, September 23, 2003 at 19:29:43 (PDT)


You shared with me _____sundays________
Honestly, I am ______sad today_ _____________.

-------------
Anonymous
- Tuesday, September 23, 2003 at 19:27:39 (PDT)


You shared with me __the finist green___________
Honestly, I am ________your everything____________.

-------------
Anonymous
- Tuesday, September 23, 2003 at 19:26:44 (PDT)


You shared with me __plans___________
Honestly, I am ____your man______ __________.

-------------
Anonymous
- Tuesday, September 23, 2003 at 19:26:17 (PDT)


You shared with me ___your dreams__________
Honestly, I am ______ready as I'll ever be_____________.

-------------
Anonymous
- Tuesday, September 23, 2003 at 19:25:48 (PDT)


You shared with me ___the mic__________
Honestly, I am ______not a dyke ______________.

-------------
Anonymous
- Tuesday, September 23, 2003 at 19:24:43 (PDT)


You shared with me ____what you had_________
Honestly, I am _______alone and sad_____________.

-------------
Anonymous
- Tuesday, September 23, 2003 at 19:23:15 (PDT)


You shared with me _______yesterday______
Honestly, I am _______insane_ ____________.

-------------
Anonymous
- Tuesday, September 23, 2003 at 19:21:41 (PDT)


You shared with me _____park city________
Honestly, I am
______in love with your kitty______________.

-------------
Anonymous
- Tuesday, September 23, 2003 at 19:20:36 (PDT)


You shared with me _____a place on the cross________
Honestly, I am ______at a loss______________.

-------------
Anonymous
- Tuesday, September 23, 2003 at 19:19:55 (PDT)


You shared with me ____rat acid songs_________
Honestly, I am _______not the pope_____________.

-------------
Anonymous
- Tuesday, September 23, 2003 at 19:19:16 (PDT)


You shared with me ____everything_________
Honestly, I am _______nothin g_____________.

-------------
Anonymous
- Tuesday, September 23, 2003 at 19:18:43 (PDT)


You shared with me ___nothing__________
Honestly, I am _____yer husband _______________.

-------------
Anonymous
- Tuesday, September 23, 2003 at 19:18:06 (PDT)


You shared with me ____coffee_________
Honestly, I am _______thirsty_____________.
4 your love
sorry about the drooling.
-------------
Anonymous
- Tuesday, September 23, 2003 at 19:17:34 (PDT)


You shared with me
____the jilla need_____

Honestly, I am ____
in love with you,therefore I beg and pl ead________________.

-------------
Anonymous
- Tuesday, September 23, 2003 at 19:15:15 (PDT)


You shared with me
____your hotter than two dogs fucking looks_____

Honestly, I am ____not a spook_____ ___________.

-------------
Anonymous
- Tuesday, September 23, 2003 at 19:13:23 (PDT)


You shared with me ____time_____
Honestly, I am ____your soulmateski___ _____________.

-------------
Anonymous
- Tuesday, September 23, 2003 at 19:12:04 (PDT)


You shared with me fun
Honestly,I am the one
-------------
Anonymous
- Tuesday, September 23, 2003 at 16:31:21 (PDT)


honestly,I am is the I you or me?
-------------
Anonymous
- Tuesday, September 23, 2003 at 15:58:15 (PDT)


I am me
I don't want stuff

-------------
.......
- Tuesday, September 23, 2003 at 15:56:44 (PDT)


bi-polar
bi-polar
cop calling lesbian prostitute
whose fave band is lezzie zeppelin
bi-polar
bi-polar


What up with that...


I have many things for you
but before I can give them
to you ~ you must make me
believe that what I am
reading is true. The only
way to do this I do believe
is if I give you a sentence
to complete. If you are you
then you will have no problem
finishing what I am about to
say to you.

You shared with me _____________
Honestly, I am ____________________.

Fill in the blanks to complete both
sentences and all the stuff I have
for you is yours.
-------------
Anonymous
- Tuesday, September 23, 2003 at 06:36:55 (PDT)


Your beauty cuts my heart out
how could I deserve you I ask
-------------
Anonymous
- Tuesday, September 23, 2003 at 03:48:33 (PDT)


well,ifisaiditwouldbe u -n- me
only thenthatshowitwillbe
iknowyouareama chine
butifimeetaphillipinotomorrow
andshesays1ofyourlinesby coiencead ence
andithinkshesuandbangheritsyou rfaultnotmine
O.K.?
-------------
Anonymous
- Monday, September 22, 2003 at 21:15:59 (PDT)


"Still Better Ask The Cat Box Man"

Its quite a Cat Box plan
us running together on the beach
of the cat box quick sand
you be my cat box kitty
I'll do all I can
but we still better ask the cat box man
to be on the safe side
so don't make no concrete plans
-------------
... .. .. .. .. .
- Monday, September 22, 2003 at 13:46:08 (PDT)


Sweet remedy
your words are my addiction
and I will not soon search
for a new fix
-------------
Pretynd
- Monday, September 22, 2003 at 12:55:23 (PDT)


ok but february is a long way away...can you wait that long?
-------------
Anonymous
- Monday, September 22, 2003 at 08:45:31 (PDT)


You look like a real nasty slut
be my valentine
-------------
Anonymous
- Monday, September 22, 2003 at 08:02:49 (PDT)


I am looking for a girl
who has mental problems
to the point she will be so obsessed
with me that she will never want another
so obsessed with me
that she would never want any other






-------------
.. .. .. .. .. . .. .. . . . . . .. . . ... .. .. .. .. .. .
- Monday, September 22, 2003 at 06:11:38 (PDT)


on the knife I have your blood
in my heart I have no love
in my eyes I have goodbye
theres no sorry
its not your turn to die
in this world we have to suffer
so heres my cold offer
inside death we will be together
have you one thought that is better
a feeling better than wasting love on forever
on my toungue I have your name
-------------
.... .. ....
- Monday, September 22, 2003 at 05:34:44 (PDT)


In the right hand I have a knife
and in the left my life
but if you want I will take your worries
if you would just hold my knife.
and if the fancy strikes you please slid
that knife in between my ribs
a few times, if you like.
I promise I will never once complain.


-------------
Pretynd
- Sunday, September 21, 2003 at 18:18:26 (PDT)


you must be proud that Robbin and the cast of the soprano's has one their own!
-------------
Anonymous
- Sunday, September 21, 2003 at 17:33:18 (PDT)


Johnny Hollywoods circus is off the air
-------------
...
- Sunday, September 21, 2003 at 14:49:16 (PDT)


I am not tuning into that station
ever again because everytime that
I have in the past it has only served
to make me cry and I am not into that
anymore than you are into lying your
whole life so maybe you should get
another because your audience left
for good this time!
-------------
Anonymous
- Sunday, September 21, 2003 at 07:49:55 (PDT)


I also thought I told you it was about conscience
and the fact that you have removed yours through
picking your nose is not my fault and that is
enuff about that.

I know too that I said it was about just two
and yet you insisted in both of you and me
even though it is so contradictory to what
was said in the beginning not the end
ya whatever

-------------
Anonymous
- Sunday, September 21, 2003 at 07:43:16 (PDT)


To only trust you
well aren't you asking
just a bit much and I'm
very surprized to learn
there is a wildness in
our spirit especially
considering your age

It doesn't matter what
you feared just come
dancing, dancing in
the streets

Drugs in my pocket
oh yes I am and with
you too so I know I'll
just throw them away
cause no matter what
I do the whole universe
is in tuned with me right
now I would like to hear
wide awake and no it has
to be a beautiful day which
makes me feel guilty that
I choose to spend it with you
considering you're in on it too!

-------------
Anonymous
- Sunday, September 21, 2003 at 07:31:52 (PDT)


I keep tellin yah its about control
and when one lives without it
well that is just a shame in itself

Together we could create an image
where both are expressing ourselves
without impressing ourselves upon ot hers
-------------
Anonymous
- Sunday, September 21, 2003 at 07:21:48 (PDT)


"She fooled you Johnny Hollywood"
said his big underground connect

"She made you think all kinds of crazy shit and had you wondering which one of the craziest mother fuckers it was and you kept playing along the whole time hoping for a clue or spot of daylight in the tunnel never even knowing it was her "The Devil that had you so mind fucked you can't even think.
Ain't it?"
-------------
... .. .. .. .
- Sunday, September 21, 2003 at 03:53:11 (PDT)


Johnny Hollywood woke up before the dawn and started running to get in shape for the big freckle counting
event that was coming up real soon
he had to be ready and he prayed to have the strengh to not miscount any of the beautiful freckles

"I must not miss any" he told himself
-------------
... .. .
- Sunday, September 21, 2003 at 03:49:47 (PDT)


Gretchen was playing mind games with Johnny Hollywood to the point where it hurt to think
He tried to think about the cutest bartenders
in the world to forget about the red queen but it was'nt working
she had his brain by the balls and was squeezing the life out of it.

Johnny tried again to think a thought
it was sorta like this
"Mind .............Fuck"

Johnny Hollywood again tried to think about a blonde any blonde his memory was set on Red

perm think long curly dark hair he thought
again only red
Johnny Hollywood was shure that Gretchen was the devil
he thought of her at each cross road.
try to think blonde he told himself the story of Golda and the three bears
but the elevator scene from the shining took over
RED
RED
RED
what could erase her from my mind he asked
I guess I will have to make her mine
he thought
not knowing he was already hers
to the degree that he could not escape her web
trapped
-------------
.......
- Sunday, September 21, 2003 at 03:45:33 (PDT)


"Its time for the changing of the nurse,Johnny" Said his beautiful blonde wife as she served up a delicous
serving of Ramien noodles.

"Is this because the white hen pantry was out of the Cherry Garcia Ice Creame again,Honey?" he asked the super model he was very lucky to have ever me t.


-------------
.. .. . ..... .. .. .. .. . . . . . . . .
- Sunday, September 21, 2003 at 03:37:15 (PDT)


Johnny Hollywood was on hold for forty minutes trying to explain to the state that "he did have Bertha's emmision testing done" and "not to suspend his drivers license"

"Well what cha all need a drivers license fer anyway if'n your such a big rock star ridin' in limo's all the time fer Johnny Hollywood" asked the nice lady in Springfield as she ran his phone bill up even more.

"Let me talk to that bitch" said Gabriela (Johnny Hollywoods beautiful attorney)

When Gaby got finish explaining the way it was and the way it should be Springfield said it was "O.K. and that Johnny Hollywood would never again have to have Bertha Mae tested for emmisions"
-------------
.... .....
- Sunday, September 21, 2003 at 02:49:52 (PDT)


The contest to see who would be Johnny Hollywood's retarded girl friend took way to long
there were many nasty bitches claiming to be "the one"

"Could you bring us some more Margrittas over here,Slutcakes" Johnny asked the dried up bar rag.

AT the table he and buttercups was eating tacos and working on a plan to rewire his retarded girlfriends brain as he spilled the hot sauce onto the table
he opened up Shirleys skull(the real retarded girlfriend,more retarded than any other)
upon removal of shirleys brain he turned it upside down and spilled some of the green sauce on it by accident thencut her largest microchip in half with wire cutters and soildered a low E string to it
then he cut the brain completly in half with a hack saw
and stuck the back half of a dogs brain to it
holding them together with tooth picks piercing califlower.

"Will they stay together?" asked sweet Bertha Mae

"Theys gonna stay together like you and me" Johnny told her as he finished up thew last of the chips.

"This is suppossed to stop the hot tub romp with the cattle now ain't it Johnny,that whore had my prize winning beefs in the waterhole and ain't been chaproned none" Bertha Mae asked,just to make shure.
"Yep, Shirley ain't gonna be in the hot tub with anymore farm animals after this little procdure" Johnny reassured her just before he slipped out the back door leaving her with the check.

Bertha spent the rest of the night busing tables to pay for the big dinner,before she got drunk and told
anyone who would listen "That Johnny was'nt no real guitar player because he needed a treasure map to find his favorite guitars"

Pedro heard quite enough of her non-sensical rambling and told her to "Punch out and go home"

JFNH

Johnny Hollywood walked alone slowly in the dark
Down “Seven Bertha Road” stepping over snakes and
Smiling grimly at satan as he passed.
“How much farther to the cross roads?” he wondered
as the elevated train roared by
The open graves were scattered in front of the wishing well
Like land mines.
Lightening shattered the midnite sky
“And what is your prayer,My son?” asked the clouds.
“My prayer is a nice anerexic blonde” Johnny Hollywood told the clouds.

“You have already received your wish,and have thrown her away”
The clouds told Johnny Hollywood.

“What the fuck are you talking about?” Johnny tried to remember
as he fell into the endless tunnel downward he could see Robbins halo shining
in the moon light blur.
It was all lies,Johnny Hollywood lived to die for her heiness,
but the heavens stole his soul,anyway.
Johnny Hollywood tried to swim across the ocean of blood
As the waves pounded the shores he was washed on the beach of death.

The Treasure map was tathered and torn
When the lord handed it to Johnny.
Johnny turned it around and around
Examining each side at every angle
It was very confusing,but he could make out the words
“Ratchel’s Garden” in one area..
“So this is the promised land?” Johnny Hollywood asked greedily
The lord said never trust your eyes
“To every question there is an answer” Box Car Jesus chimed in
And Johnny Hollywood broke in half his sandwich
And fed it to the dogs.

“Are you going to have the trophys made for the
Big contest” asked Bertha Mae Electra.
Johnny Hollywood then checked behind her ears
For cancer and
Checked her teeth and credit cards.
She was certianly good to go.

“Your to pretty to cook” Bertha Mae said over and over
as she peeled the bumper stickers off
the back of the corvette Johnny got caught riding cupcake around in.
The first bumper sticker was not so easy to scrape off
“I brake for bleach blondes”Bertha read the bumper graffitti
“Fuck You” she said laughing.
“He brakes for bleach blondes,and lily white bitches”
said Johnny Hollywoods Chinese Launderer.


Johnny Hollywood found out the fender amplifier
would not float in the river that day
and thought that he and the walmart greeter
slash sometimes stripper had lots in commen
even if it was only the fact that
they both knew what pancakes were

“I should have named my guitar Joy halstead”
He thought before he craved Bertha Mae Electra
in to the wall next to the pay phone
and an upside down heart to sinafy
she might possibly be acting polish about
their love.

“Fill the boat with sluts and lets drink a lot”
Said box car Jesus as he tore down the lsd labortory
He had built In the back of the bus.
The two monkeys were each slidinf walbut shells across
The checker boards trying to get the goatherder and
The lady with three asses to bet
they could find out whar the pea had got gone to
“Are these your monkeys, Boxcar Jesus?”
asked the lady gorbichaufski
her voice muffled from the long flowing underarm hair
“Your in the house now!” Box Car Jesus said to the others onboard the bus

“Do you guys cook seafood on the grill back here”
said The very disturbed welfare caseworker
as she hit the crack pipe yet again

“I’m telling your mother,Mrs. Washington!”
Shouted the bus driver from the front
“What happen you mikes? Asked the first monkey
“The P.A.’s no good’ said monkey number two

“Move the camara closer,closer,Damn it!”
said Big Roxy

The camara panned in on Sweet Bertha taking the seats out of Johnnys
Sisty-four and a half Mustang “I got you now you son of a bitch!” She exclamid
As she held a picture of Ellen she found under the back seat
High into the air.

“Cut! Cut!” Big Roxy bellowed as she kicked over the new directors chair she
had made especially for her by a nice elderly lady who had recently retired
from the Cross Threaded Lesbian Mafia and did’nt have anything to do all day.

JFNH


“Johnny Hollywood, Are you really in love
with thirty-nine women at the same time?” Asked Gretchen as she curtsied
and bowed then handed Johnny a nice cup of hot cocco.

“Forty,and that’s not counting Shelby and Shelia” Said the disgruntled Leader
of the Cross Threaded Lesbian Mafia.

“That is an out and out lie, I am not in love with Shelia” Said Johnny Hollywood
quickly in his own defense.

Johnny picked up the beautiful chrome three-fifty-seven magnum
and stuck the barrel to his temple “Goodbye Candy” he said as he pulled the trigger.

Johnny Hollywood woke up on the fourth hole of the minature golf maze
"This ain't heaven" he said as he urinated in the hole.

Johnny Hollywood carjacked the Sheridain 151 city bus and filled it with prostitute and drove them away from the pimp he beat the living piss out of and told them all they are free now

in the midst of freedom they mostly wanted a ride to go get a bag or a rock then some of them wanted to spend thier freedom walking the strip
"But your free" Johnny told them
-------------
.... .
- Sunday, September 21, 2003 at 02:31:47 (PDT)


Second rate fairy tales
Bleeding back and forth
Between us
Seeping into pores
A beautiful anesthetic
For our tainted minds
You sigh, and I turn to catch
Your breath for both
Of us

-------------
Pretynd
- Saturday, September 20, 2003 at 15:39:54 (PDT)


what you said in the past must have been around the same time I asked if alanis morrisette meant anything.

Would you like a glass of water? Yes, well you should know that all my water is hot.

We will call this one redemption ok
-------------
Anonymous
- Friday, September 19, 2003 at 14:43:37 (PDT)


i wish you loved me
-------------
Anonymous
- Thursday, September 18, 2003 at 20:17:55 (PDT)


Johnny should get Cole to give him a blowjob and get it all over with
would that be masturbation?
-------------
Anonymous
- Thursday, September 18, 2003 at 19:03:47 (PDT)



I see what I must do
now that I am at 180
trying to get to 360
mmm the sweet smell
of perry ellis
-------------
Anonymous
- Thursday, September 18, 2003 at 13:01:30 (PDT)


Your still going to call right?
-------------
Anonymous
- Tuesday, September 16, 2003 at 23:11:04 (PDT)


"Johnny you need to do something about your retarded
whorebag shes out in the hot tub having sex with your horse" Said Johnny Hollywoods very friendly nurse Special "K"

"Trigger?" asked Johnny sounding heavily medicated
"She must be stopped before she gives him some crack whore disease,the fat fuck of a nasty whore dog!" slurred Johnny Hollywood
tring to get to his feet

"Johnny Hollywood you are responsible for all of the plumbing costs and the cleaning of the hot tub, while your retared girlfriend has her little romp with your horses, out there" said the head of hospital maintance.

"She has my trophy winning race horse out there too? Not star! " Johnny Hollywood cried.

This was quite a set back for the Hollywoods why this could cost him several mail order brides for shure
if only he could get rid of that retard fat cunt life would be so much easier
Johnny Hollywood tossed and turned all night worrying about all the trouble his retarded girlfriend had caused him.
"Its just because she is jealose,Johnny...thats why shes acting like such a cunt!" said special "K" sweetly into his ear, then she whispered "You want I should kill her,so she don't cause any more trouble in the hot tub with That dirty dancing Jennifer Grey, Johnny?"

Johnny got up and drug his IV to the window
he looked out into the night at the skyline of the city as the lights of the highrises shown down onto the lake "You mean shes doing Jennifer Grey,too?"
I knew she was a lipstick lesbian, now I know "
-------------
..
- Tuesday, September 16, 2003 at 23:02:14 (PDT)


"Johnny you need to do something about your retarded
whorebag shes out in the hot tub having sex with your horse" Said Johnny Hollywoods very friendly nurse Special "K"

"Trigger?" asked Johnny sounding heavily medicated
"She must be stopped before she gives him so crack whore disease,the fat fuck of a nasty whore dog!" slurred Johnny Hollywood
tring to get to his feet

"Johnny Hollywood you are responsible for all of the plumbing costs and the cleaning of the hot
-------------
Anonymous
- Tuesday, September 16, 2003 at 23:01:10 (PDT)


"WHATS WRONG WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND,Johnny?
Shes pretty whack." Said Johnnys nurse Special "K"

Johnny looked up from the hospital bed in a dazement
He could see Special"K" but had no ideal what she was saying,He was just happy to be there.

"Johnny, Your girlfriend is talking out of her head should I mediKate her" Asked Special "K" looking like
a model on a runway.

"Yeah, dose her stupid ass" Johnny managed to say
Handing Special "K" the magic mushrooms

"No, No Johnny she is really having a major physcosis
and she has become delusionsional,even to the point where she is speaking in toungues" Said the very special nurse Special "K".

"What'd my baby say?" Asked Johnny with much concern.

"Shes talking shit about that goofy bitch in the movie "Dirty Dancing"" Special "K" Said as she did a little dance for Johnny,changing the television station for the eleventh time in a minute which did'nt make any differance to Johnny Hollywood since he could'nt see the television at all,but he had a wonderful view of Kathys ass.

"I'm getting used to it" mumbled Johnny Hollywood as he drifted into unconsousness


Johnny Hollywood awoke startled

"Johnny, you have got to do something about your retarded girlfriend,she keeps causing trouble in the waiting room and the soap operas are'nt keeping her calm anymore" Said Johnnys Super duper special Nurse of a nurse and one hot fuck "Kathy" Kat special "K"

"Whaa.." Johnny said more dazed than confused

Johnnys retarded girlfriend "Shitbag the fat whore" burst into the room screaming about how she wanted the nigger male nurses to give her a sponge bath and she hoped it would "hurt so good"

Then out of jealosy,
Johnny Hollywood asked Special "K" to bend over and when she did he licked ten hits of blotter acid off of her ass.

"Was that the Simpsons?" asked Special "K"

"Slllluuuuurrrrrpppp...Yeah Baby"
Said Johnny Hollywood.

Special "K" wiped the sweat from his brow and said "Move it on over" as she snuggled up to the sick one and they watched the religous channel together.

Shit bag found her way to the psch ward floor and lived happily ever after.picking little black curly hairs off her clothing.
-------------
......
- Tuesday, September 16, 2003 at 22:37:15 (PDT)


So,like,Your not going to call?
-------------
Anonymous
- Tuesday, September 16, 2003 at 21:57:51 (PDT)


what about malteese guys? they are coloured but not black
-------------
Anonymous
- Tuesday, September 16, 2003 at 18:46:52 (PDT)


I see your having your fantasys again
this time no black guys?
-------------
Anonymous
- Tuesday, September 16, 2003 at 18:04:42 (PDT)


there was never no hope for you
you in my eyes were a creepy loser
who used to fuck people while they slep t
-------------
Anonymous
- Tuesday, September 16, 2003 at 16:58:52 (PDT)


Johnny Hollywood overdosed on the Bertha medicene again and thought he was sybil
-------------
...
- Tuesday, September 16, 2003 at 16:42:56 (PDT)


Johnny Hollywood was drunk when he ordered the new mail order brides that is why the mesikins showed up
when he was suppose to order russians
he never meant to order mesikins when there was already so many here in the states already
that he could choose from right there in his home town of Round Lake.
-------------
...... . .
- Tuesday, September 16, 2003 at 16:40:37 (PDT)


I don't get it and what I don't get is why Johnny told himself to go away? or did her name begin with a j? If it was her name, was it jennifer? If it was about johnny telling himself to go away, then again I have to ask why?
-------------
Anonymous
- Tuesday, September 16, 2003 at 15:43:08 (PDT)


Johnny Hollywood sat down in the hotub which was built outside
and waited for the interviewer to arrive. Before she got there,
Johnny thought to himself "I wonder what she looks like and I hope
she's educated in early childhood education so that we'll have good
kids." Just after he completed this 70 minute thought, in walked the
most volumpshoeish female he had ever forced his eyes to look at. "My
my!" said Johnny Hollywood with a smile. "Are you the lady who is to
take my statements about what happened to me as a child in the other
kind of tub?" asked Johnny hollywood with sarcasm in his voice and a
smirk on his face. "Why yes I am" answered the not so tall dame. "What
I thought we could if you don't mind, is we can act it out and this is
a good place because we are surrounded in water" "so whatta yah think
johnny, does that sound like the thing to do?" "Since none of this rings true."
was running through johnny's mind, he decided to answer and this is what he said.
"I am sorry I bothered you, miss interviewer, but I am not up for this and
I am positive I will never be interested." "Goodbye to you is still the
only thoughts I wish to CONVEY to you." "Please go away, j."
-------------
Anonymous
- Tuesday, September 16, 2003 at 15:36:41 (PDT)


well ain't ya gonna call?
-------------
Anonymous
- Tuesday, September 16, 2003 at 14:02:55 (PDT)


darn I wish I knew the magic word that only I say
so you'ld call me and know its me
but Its so magic a word that even I don't know it but I'll hope you and only you will call me today in between three and five while I am jamming
and I hope that I will hear it in case you and only you call me so I will jam close to the phone
but how will I know it is you and only you?
unless that is stupid
and if it is stupid and only stupid then you could send me an email until we can work out who is who and
when are they intercepted by someone else unless you think that they will intercept the email too?
I don't know really
lately I have been hanging up on people since you started this secret word I have
which I do not have a secret goodbye word
it varies yes it does
sometime goodbye sometimes bye
sometimes later sometimes adios
sometimes fuck off sometimes just click
so maybe since our love means so much to us
we should work on a different secret word one that I will know
and one that is said not at goodbye
since I was never really good at the goodbyes anyway
ask the people who have been my friends for most of my life
at a party you look around and I am gone
"where did he go"
"he always does that"
that is me.

but do you even know my phone number?
maybe we should go to consoling over this one
you know I love you only you and I am not playing a fucking game
but we can wait until we die and meet in another life if you want
I mean yes I love you
but I have waited all this time and its the blues is it not
do you want to start making sense unlike a talking heads story
do you think I should maybe bring you some chicken tacos
-------------
ha ah ahhhah haah
- Tuesday, September 16, 2003 at 11:37:20 (PDT)


well if yahd just say the magic word...which is not goodbye...then I would call you cause I'd know then it was you cause it is only you who says this word which is not goodbye but its something else.........
-------------
Anonymous
- Tuesday, September 16, 2003 at 11:06:14 (PDT)


I just can't wait until you call
I am going to tell you I love you so much
after all
-------------
Anonymous
- Tuesday, September 16, 2003 at 10:30:57 (PDT)


eyes wide shut
i walk around with eyes wide shut
so that i can see
all that no one else does
nobody but me
after dark when the sun goes down is the brightest time of day
when all the stress and pain gets lost and slowly fades aw ay
-------------
just someone
- Tuesday, September 16, 2003 at 08:43:57 (PDT)


Johnny Hollywood could see Helen Hunt walking toward him smiling she was looking better than....

"Johnny, do you want some cheesecake? Johnny wake up do you want some cheesecake?"

"Johnny wake up! John-ney do you want some cheese cake?"

Johnny needed cheese cake more than he wanted it
and he wanted it more than life its self.
he opened his eyes and there was no helen hunt
there was no reason
again he closed his eyes but could not return to the wonderful dream.
-------------
....
- Tuesday, September 16, 2003 at 01:38:58 (PDT)


Johnny Hollywood put the groucho shades,nose and moustache on and the shoulder pads and green bay packers jersey and stood up while he urinated
and everyone thought he was just another one of the cross threaded lesbian mafia football team
just kinda skinny
so they figured he was the quarter back

the real quarter back for the cross threaded lesbian mafia was locked in a locker after bieng sedated
with the shit coffee syrup mixture laced with the bertha medicene she was out for a while.

on the field as soon as the ball was snaped to Johnny Hollywood he ran the other way
and then just handed the ball to the bears
at the other end of the field
score!

Johnny ran up into the crowd to avoid bieng ripped into pieces by the angry cross threaded lesbians

"We are going to get you Johnny Hollywood" shouted the very large center.

Johnny found some bears fans in the crowd to party with and a nice lady who even shared her seven dollar beers with him.
"They are going to get you,Johnny" She told him,
"and when they do I'm afraid they will cross thread you"

Johnny Hollywood did not want to be cross threaded by any means, so he decieded to leave town as soon as the game was over and change his name.

"Why don't you just leave the cross threaded lesbian mafia union alone Johnny and face the facts,you need to lower your standards,the cross threaded lesbian mafia have already gotten to all the good looking women in the world,and if you want a lady you have to take whats left over...immigrants and fat ugly bitches" said the Cheerleader Johnny was trying his best to pick up.
-------------
.....,.....
- Tuesday, September 16, 2003 at 01:31:17 (PDT)


batman awoke before dawn
he put his boots on

he commenced to throw shitbags
whorebags out into the rain
it made her even more insane
-------------
Anonymous
- Tuesday, September 16, 2003 at 00:07:04 (PDT)


batman awoke before dawn
he put his boots on

he commenced to throw shitbags
whorebags out into the rain
it made he even more insane
-------------
Anonymous
- Monday, September 15, 2003 at 23:55:42 (PDT)


You and I

You and I shall live happily ever after
You and I shall run in the tide

You and I

Shall always remember the love we share
the times you needed me I was there
You and I your a crazy bitch mentally

Will begin

As soon as I win the lottery
and have a team of pschyciatrists
on my payroll
to fix the little problem
you can't see
-------------
Anonymous
- Monday, September 15, 2003 at 20:44:33 (PDT)


Sierra

1 year and 7 months later
you must wonder what if
cause I know I do and I
don't think you were ever
that far gone that you couldn't
even know how to feel for
her. I see pink no I see pastels
I see a cute pudgee smile with
hair of brown and gold and
curly long with a name which
does not yet have a son g
-------------
Anonymous
- Monday, September 15, 2003 at 15:53:08 (PDT)


ah man I've had quite the day
and it began as soon as I awoke
to find you standing over there
waiting for me to get up so you
could show me the breakfast you
cooked but we cannot eat because
you needed it for a class project
which is due today. I dropped you
off and went on my way until I
found myself driving into work's
parking lot only to see you standing
there smiling like you were glad to
have beat me there. We walked into
work and you followed me to my station
which at that time you then told me you
had to get into my car to get your food
project you forget not so long ago. I
gave you the key and on your way you went
until I met up with you again on the park
bench we sat and you told me how you were
feeling kinda sad cause you missed your
grand datty the fireman named Heather
-------------
Anonymous
- Monday, September 15, 2003 at 15:37:50 (PDT)


I call myself today
but couldn't get through
all I was getting was a
busy signal. I will try
again tomorrow but I will
get my twin sister to call
me and then that way it will
still be myself calling but
from a different phone so to speak
-------------
Anonymous
- Monday, September 15, 2003 at 15:26:51 (PDT)


"Mr. Hollywood has always been in the habit of banging
retarded bitches,Walmart greeters were no exception"
Johnnys sweet german attoreney to the jury.
"And that is why we are asking for
fifty-seven million dollars from hugh heffner and the
land the play boy mansion is sitting on,
so Johnny can have it tore down
and build a McDonalds there to satisfy his thirst for
latino women"

"Why thats obsurd" said Hughs attorney
in Playboys defense
"We came up with the women of walmart
ideal all by ourselves"

Gabriela{Johnnys sweet german attorney}
strutted across the court room
sticking her chest out a little to far
"I would like to call the witness
"Tardzilla" to the stand"

Tardzilla took her oath and swore to tell the truth

"Have you every been a resident of little city
a home for the mentally handicap,
Miss Tardzilla?" Gabriella asked.

"Yes" Stated Tardzilla

"And have you ever had relations with Mr. Hollywood?
asked Gabriella

"Yes" Tardzilla answered once again.

"And have you Miss Tardzilla ever been employed by
the chain of stores we know as WALMART?"
Gabriella asked smiling from ears to ear.

"Why yes I have" Tardzilla said almost in tears.

The court room erupted and the crowd went wild.

"Quite QUIET" The Judge shouted as she pounded
her gavel onto a copy
off play boy featuring Pamela Andersen Lee
that Johnny had been saving since he was a little boy.

"I'm going to get the Playboy mansion"Johnny soggily
whispered into Gretchens ear.
-------------
......
- Monday, September 15, 2003 at 15:17:45 (PDT)


"Its all about payback" Johnny shouted as he dropped hundreds of feet each second.

Johnny Hollywood parachuted down into the Cross Threaded Lesbain Mafias secret cucumber garden and started killing every plant he saw.

The guards heard him and the spotlights circled the roll of plants he was trying to destroy at the moment.

Those are gods children your killing shouted the general of the cross threaded army.

"You leave Jessica out of this,she has nothing to do with any of this" Johnny Hollywood yelled as he tried to out run the demon dogs of hell.
they we gaining on Johnny and he knew his time on this sweet planet of love would be short.
-------------
..... .....
- Monday, September 15, 2003 at 14:59:11 (PDT)


The Cross Threaded Lesbian Mafia
broke into Johnny Hollywood's studio
and broke his DOD footpedal by the weight of the leader
of the cross threaded lesbian mafia Johnny's Wah pedal
snapped in half.

"Try playing your songs of love to our ladies now,
you little bastard" Exclaimed the bull dyke
wearing the red plaid flannel shirt that was as big
as a compact car.

"There won't be any crying from his guitar tonight"
Said the very handsome lady with a jet black crew cut.

"A good guitar player could play a log if he had to"
Exclamied Gretchen in Johnny Hollywoods defense.
-------------
.......
- Monday, September 15, 2003 at 14:52:39 (PDT)


hey sweet baby,
Heres an ideal...
why don't you call yourself?
-------------
Anonymous
- Monday, September 15, 2003 at 12:25:59 (PDT)


Johnny Hollywood did have a major revalation that would change his life as he knew it today
and bring happiness to his music

He was seeing sunspots and warm red covered his mind

"Well don't keep us in expense forever Johnny" Said his very "special" slutty looking nurse "Special"K"

"O.K, O.K" Hollywood spoke
"I will count the freckles on Gretchen"

"Thats it,you asshole" said special "K"
as she stormed off to the drink cart.

"It can not be done" Harpo said as she shaved her eyebrows onto the table.

"It certianly is a challenge,Johnny,what if you miscount? asked Doctor Karen Cervenka

"Then I shall count and count again" Johnny stated

"You can not just attempt to count Gretchens freckles
just like that,johnny you must work up to it
you need to train for such an event for a very long time or you could get hurt" Harpo told Johnny as she groomed her extensively protruding nose hairs.

"Training?" asked Johnny as if her was shocked.

"Yes,Johnny you need to train,pratice" Said Dr. Karen Cervenka.

Johnny Hollywood thought this might be a trick
but he was unsure
if he was going to pratice counting the freckkes on anyone it would have to be on Gretchen herself
because her body was different than all the rest
and if he did pratice counting someone elses freckles it could cause him to be used to someone elses body and cost him dearly in the great freckle counting
contest he was about to undergo

but how could he count all of Gretchens freckles without her knowing?
He could'nt he would have to just count them
in a one take situation
for starters and if he fucked up
then maybe she would give him another chance
to correct any mistakes he made the first time around
but maybe getting in shape for the freckle counting event was'nt such a bad ideal like the nasty ugly bitches had first advised Johnny Hollywood.

Johnny Hollywood began jogging ten miles a day
then push ups.

"This shit is taking up a lot of valueable playing time,Johnny" said Harpo Marx who was secretly taping Johnny's Jams and trading and selling them as bootlegs
not knowing that Johnny policy openly stated he was for the taping and trading of his material by his fans
and did'nt mind the bootlegging

"You stupid bastard,you might have just cost us to lose the lawsuit against the file sharers in the shitternet giveaway litigation process "cried Gabriela his lovely attorney from east germany thinking about her beamer payments.

Johnny looked deep into her wild blue eyes and wished she was a latino
He kissed her anyway.

Then he started jogging again off around the corner of broadway and wilson where he found so many ladies before
he was'nt looking this time
he had a reason to live and a goal to achieve
He was going to count them
yeah he was going to count Gretchens freckles if it was the last thing he ever would do.

"And how does this make you feel Johnny?" asked Gail as she applyied her cat box to his navigational system
"Your cat box is over flowing Gail causing the navigational system to become clogged with your sand"

"Gail looked like she was going to cry
"You stole that from Gerry" She shouted as she knocked the "Kincaids" off the wall in her office full of lawn chairs.
Johnny did'nt steal anything
and he did'nt openly admit in public that he by any means knew Gerry.
-------------
......
- Monday, September 15, 2003 at 12:20:46 (PDT)


Johnny Hollywood wanted a meaningful life
everything meant nothing
the songs he worked all his life on
were to be given away on the shitternet
by people who had no talent what so ever

"Thats the way God want's it,Johnny" Said his overpriced shrinkski "Gail","The Music should be free"

"And so should your retarded stocking ripping sessions,Gail" Johnny Hollywood told the twisted
snotty bitch like it was.

Johnny wanted something meaningful and all he could see was red as he looked into the miday sun.

"Thats It" He yelled with excitement.
Jumping up and down.

"Whats it,Johnny? Did you have another revalation?" asked his Harpo Marx looking landscaper from
somewhere in St. Petersburg as she plucked her chin hairs and shaved her cleavage again.

"Did'nt you sign a contract when you began working for the Hollywood estate that you would not pluck and shave in front of the guests?" Asked Johnny

"Spoil sport" said the now crumbled Harpo

"Ant fucking who,Johnny Whats your major revelation?" Harpo asked once more as she rinsed the disposable razor in the tea cup.

"Should'nt she be landscaping,Johnny?" asked Doctor Karen Cervenka as she turned over to tan her non-existant ass.
-------------
...........
- Monday, September 15, 2003 at 11:49:40 (PDT)


On Johnny Hollywood leer jet flying over Georgia
on the way to Northern Florida
there was some light storms.

Johnny Hollywood woke up sweating profusely
he had been dreaming about his favorite
Barbie yet again.

"Maybe you should'nt have stopped taking the Bertha Medication Johnny" Stated his little Philpino right before she gave him a rightous piece of ass

"Yeah maybe" Said Johnny Hollywood before falling back to sleep proper.

"Wake up Johnny we are at Disney land" Said his silly little bitch

Johnny knew he was not at Disney land.

Johnny Hollywood knew there was something he forgot to do back home in the lovely "Crack House Estates"
he resided in,but could not remember what it was.

"Think brain think" he thought to him self
-------------
......
- Monday, September 15, 2003 at 11:36:57 (PDT)


I will give you a hint...its not the actual word goodbye that you use... ........
-------------
Anonymous
- Monday, September 15, 2003 at 11:08:23 (PDT)


I fall asleep waiting for you
wake up wondering if you will be there
you are the elusive dream
the shadow from the corner of my eyes
and though I turn and sleep and wait
with passionate patience,
you are the one thing I will never see
-------------
Pretynd
- Monday, September 15, 2003 at 10:45:17 (PDT)


Reaper Tattoo's

Death and darkness
claiming the souless demon
return to the emptiness at the crossroads
hiding fear in a dead dream
that can not return
-------------
Anonymous
- Monday, September 15, 2003 at 10:15:30 (PDT)


wonderful world of being sad
wonderful world of being
surrounded in shame
bubble of tears
jar full of blame
oh it didnt it get u far oh arent u happy now
still iss the comfort in being sad will this stop can it end
and what was the point what did u gain
sme scars on ur arm missed the vein
and the deeper u sink the colder it gets
the colder it gets the deeper u go
doesthis make a good song join the industry of pain
if it makes u rich sing ur sadness again
and didnt it get u far trade the sicorrs for guitar
and the cords are so off key
still miss the comfort in being sad
still miss the abuse for bein bad

u may laugh and roll ur eyes "yet another one" i do apoligise for boring u but but its better to put it out there than to let it fester
blessed be
-------------
tieun eun
- Monday, September 15, 2003 at 09:24:09 (PDT)


and so is your response, benchflour.
-------------
Anonymous
- Monday, September 15, 2003 at 08:21:36 (PDT)


Your bitching about everything is po etic
-------------
Anonymous
- Sunday, September 14, 2003 at 22:45:20 (PDT)


a riddle
-------------
Anonymous
- Sunday, September 14, 2003 at 22:26:39 (PDT)


oh, and um..PS

can I run my fingers through your words sometime?
-------------
Anonymous
- Sunday, September 14, 2003 at 22:19:52 (PDT)


Thank God, some real poetry, finally
for Pete and his mother's sake
a small faraway buoy in the sea of Johnny Hollywood

-------------
The Save PB Fund
- Sunday, September 14, 2003 at 22:19:02 (PDT)


The words

I put words inside
every third or fourth
line of mine so that
when your second line
comes around there will
be the words of mine just
sitting waiting to be used

I judge I sizeup I scan I
contemplate I analysis I
wonder I think about why
people do and say the
things they do and say
that is why when you ask
me something there is
always
a ten second delay


A ten second delay in my life always occurs
just before the morning train goes by blowin
its horn for the ten minutes its in my part
of town.

There's always a cry from the early rising birds
when they think its time for me to get up for the day.
So sing they do indeed until I land on my feet.

As the wind blows itself around it plays with the trees and their leaves as if they were dancing to some tune only heard by them but seen by me.

I am afraid of the recent dream for I know deep down it was real and either sometime soon, I will go through the motions and emotions of that very same dream unless of course I already have gone through and the only place its being played out is inside the land of dr eams.

-------------
Anonymous
- Sunday, September 14, 2003 at 18:02:53 (PDT)


I cannot believe you have been waiting by the phone all this time when all along you know you have not given me the answer to the question asked below

-------------
Anonymous
- Sunday, September 14, 2003 at 06:49:39 (PDT)


you better quit breaking up with me right fucking now!
-------------
Anonymous
- Sunday, September 14, 2003 at 00:58:35 (PDT)


only if you tell me how you say goodbye when you're on the phone...
-------------
Anonymous
- Sunday, September 14, 2003 at 00:23:27 (PDT)


all you gotta do is call
-------------
Anonymous
- Saturday, September 13, 2003 at 22:07:46 (PDT)


Fabulous

what has happened to us
cell phone user on the bus
were you just being a wuss

something finally gave
like it was kinda heavy
too much weight to carry
the memories had to fold

never to hold you again
especially on day twenty five
shoulda came that night
shoulda slowed down the
drinking with the uncle
have you seen any pencil
chicks on harleys lately
or even turned over a new leaf?
-------------
Anonymous
- Saturday, September 13, 2003 at 21:08:10 (PDT)


JNFH


Johnny Hollywood woke up in a puddle of puke
In the elevator on the south end of the
Cross Threaded Lesbian Mafia Unions Cassino

“We are going to have to ask you to leave the cult
Johnny Hollywood” Said the leader of the Cross Threaded Lesbian Mafia.

“What cult?” asked the puzzled Johnny.

“The group,the union of the cross threaded lesbian mafia”
Said the first bouncer as she applied accessive force to
Remove Johnny Hollywood from the premisis

Johnny Hollywood knew his rights,
they counld’nt just throw him out of the casino for no reason
what so ever,they had to pin something on him.
There was the fact that he never paid any dues to become
a full fledged member of the cross threaded lesbian mafia.
And he was never really in their union,per se,
So he never really had to suffer thru their tough initiation process.
He did have a lot of trouble battling them for the heart of Gretchen
Which up until now they seemed to be neck in neck.
The cross threaded lesbian mafia unions bouncers
were starting to get pretty rough with Johnny Hollywood
in the parking lot where he begged them not to make him go
since he had no where else to go and considered this his home.

“You are just here trying to pick up our ladies”
Said the bouncer dressed in a black leather tarp.

“But I own you and your football team” cried Johnny Hollywood.
The lesbian bulldyke bouncers were not impressed.
“Give him pain” said the cross threaded bouncer
wearing the blue collared shirt.

During the night they dumped Johnny in a dumpster in the
Uptown area,leaving him for dead.
After a short uncomfortable nap Johnny began his long walk back home.

Six hours later Johnny Hollywood made it back to town.
He was dying of thirst so he thought a nice Gatorade would help.
He made it to the counter inside the local convience store and
Told the super model with the ponytail thing going on
“You know I wanna get with you,baby”

From under the counter the very lovely
Chris raised two AK-47’s and opened fire on Johnny’s
Already broken heart.
“Ouch,you sure know how to hurt a guy”Hollywood exclaimed.
“ First the Cross Threaded Lesbain Mafia want to assinate me
now the super model is pissed at me for no reason I can find”
Johnny told the bus driver who stopped just in time
Almost running Johnny over only because he ran out in front of it.
“Does anyone have any change ?” Johnny asked as Chris
rittled the bus with bullets.

Johnnys life passed before his eyes
He remembered Bertha Mae wearing the french maid outfit
Cooking up that deliocous corn bread
Before she broke his heart and run off with that good for nothing Sodbuster.

The peoples of the pace bus and the driver tossed Johnny out
Very quickly and Johnny decieded as long as he could get another glance of the
Beautiful super model That was certainly worth dying for.

Well that’s when the trouble began,you see since every thought
Johnny Hollywood had was transmitted thru his funky microchipped mind
And the secret underground was intercepting all of these aforementioned thoughts
And trying to manipulate and control him like the prisoner puppet he was
And the evil Cross Threaded Lesbian Mafia Union was in control
of the secret under ground,Johnny Hollywood really did not own anyone or anything.

“And how could he think a warm thought about Chris?” asked Lori the troll
that lived under the bridge who was in charge of watching the lap top
monitoring Hollywoods caged mind at this peticular moment.

“Your fired,Lori” cried her upper management cross threaded leader
“You can’t fire me, I’m like a Navy Seal of the cross threaded lesbian mafia”
growled Lori the tubby little troll that lived under the bridge
Chili peppers music played thru out.

“You people are making me sick” Said the very lovely Cassandra.

Johnnys brain backfired
“Cassandra or Chris?” he thought
before he passed out under such great pressure.
He had several weird dreams about Andie Mcdowel.

Johnny Hollywood rode his horse slowly tru the town
Looking for his missing soulmate shitbag.
She wrote him letters the whole time he was in the hospital on his death bed
Telling him she wanted to recreate life and melt the universe with him
then left him at the gallows pole Hanging
if it was not for Candy cutting him down
there would be no Johnny Hollywood today.

Johnny Hollywood stole roses for his favorite Barbie doll
And almost got caught
He tore down every wanted poster of himself he could find
It was big Roxy who retrieved the wanted poster of Johnny in the post office
This one claiming he had organized the great train robbery of Rond Out
When he was no where around when it took place.

“Welcome to the Cross Threaded Lesbian Mafia Smack Down Johnny”
said the biggest bulldyke Johnny had ever seen
as she threw him on her shoulders like it was nothing and began
to run around the ring taunting the crowd.

Johnny Hollwood wished he was in Ratchels garden
Killing the satanic snake or on the couch
watching cable with his lovely new wife Olivia about right now.
In a blurr faster and faster he turned
He could smell the big brawny bulldykes armpits
And odor pouring off of her rolls of fat
Like a sweat smoothy.

"If I die Who's going to milk the fat Koren?" Johnny thought.

Johnny Hollywood remembered he never found moonbeam
Waiting at the station and that was his last thought
Into the crowd he flew
Over the mosh pit into unconcousness.

“He needs to take the Bertha meds now everyone has to leave”
said his slutty looking nurse Special”k”

“I’m not going NOWHERE BITCH,…I’m his upstairs maid now” Gretchen
told Special “K”

“Well you better take your silly ass upstairs then said Johnnys very dedicated nurse
with a devolping attuide problem.

-------------
.. ..
- Saturday, September 13, 2003 at 20:06:12 (PDT)


Whatever happened to Travis Ray Cole ?
-------------
Anonymous
- Saturday, September 13, 2003 at 11:04:33 (PDT)


follow this
if you can
for the
exodus is
here so fly
like a bird
until you
land and
transform
into a
black cat
named onyx
go now my
wicked one
before he
catches you
and everything
else underneith
today's sun
-------------
Anonymous
- Saturday, September 13, 2003 at 10:57:09 (PDT)


Councillor, Councillor, ....... I can out think you
you .... you ... you are good!
-------------
Anonymous
- Saturday, September 13, 2003 at 10:52:03 (PDT)


"Shure Johnny Hollywood was overdosing
on the red headed devil girl to the point of obsesion
but he just completed the very costly
twelve step program to get off the bleach blondes.
It would seem like he could take a class
at the community college to learn the correct wipeage
methods" Said Gretchen to Johnnys Nurse Special "K"

"That would be kosher if the problem was there was
only one Johnny Hollywood,but the Russian mail order brides
have cloned Johnny three times over night
and I'm not really shure if any of the
new Johnnys can wipe thier asses the right way either"
Said Special"K" looking a little
to much like Marsha Brady turned hoe.
-------------
......
- Saturday, September 13, 2003 at 10:39:54 (PDT)


The Russian mail order brides had cloned Johnny Hollywood and stole his harvest of skunk plants too.
Now there was two Johnny Hollywoods running around
one wiping his ass on the lawn and one trying to kill it,if only he was'nt in a Bertha medicene induced coma
it did'nt matter niether one of them could milk the fat Koren bitch the right way to save his life if it came to that,they always had to ask big Roxy to do the chore for them,day in and day out it was always
"Oh big Roxy sue,would you please milk the fat Koren for me?" They would badger her endlessly until Big Roxy would almost milk the fat Koren bitch automaticly.

Doctor Karen Cervenka came up with a swell ideal said Gail as she rode the lighthouse lawn ornaments
"What about if Johnny Hollywood did'nt drink the bertha medicated coffees and then Johnny Hollywood would never have to shit again" She said almost enthushiasticly.

"Yeah that might just work" Said Shitbag's pimp/crack dealer from Rockford.

"I don't reckon it will" Said shitbags hillbilly acoholic trick from Fox Lake who got lots of welfare and spent it all on drinking with the nasty skank
but almost never spent the tax payers monies on washing the skidmarks out of his own drawers.

"You've got to have a priorty" Said Shitbags not so favorite trick.
-------------
............ .........
- Saturday, September 13, 2003 at 01:32:05 (PDT)


"Poor Johnny Hollywood, never could wipe his ass the right way,"
Bertha said out to herself.
Of course it bothered her,
it bothered everyone.
She had done all she could,
even the grassy slope in the back yard, she thought
"Yes that was for you to slide down on you ass!
YES! YES! it was, it was..." she faded as she burst into tears.

"it's you who turned me into this," Johnny said, knowing it was a lie "it's your fault."

His eyes welled with milky tears and suddenly Johnny jumped out of the innertube and began sinking, again"

All Johnny could manage was "glub glub glub glub" but it all made sense.
-------------
Anonymous
- Saturday, September 13, 2003 at 00:21:37 (PDT)


Bertha Mae stormed into Johnny Hollywoods cell
and ripped the pictures of you off the wall.
-------------
.......,.......
- Friday, September 12, 2003 at 23:02:37 (PDT)


JFNH

Johnny Hollywood was to depressed to play his guitar
“Is he lovesick over shitbag again?” asked Johnnys little filipino
“Should’nt this sadness just give him better blues”
asked the leader of the Cross Threaded Lesbian Mafia

“No he has brain damage and one hell of a lawsuit”
said Special “K” Johnnys slut nurse.

“The only thing that will bring him out of this coma
or case of the stupids as I like to call it,
Is if Johnny Hollywood goes to the south side
and brings big Roxy back to live in his rusted
to shit van and they have a drunken domestic
in front of all the neighbors” Said Gabriela
Johnnys hot german attorney.

“What about some getting busy?” Said Johnnys favorite latino
Goddess from Round Lake Park.

“Yeah,that will do it too” Said Johnny Hollywoods slut nurse Special “K’

“Maybe he should milk the fat koren” said Lori the little troll
that lived under the bridge.

“Enough sarcasim” bleeched the hungry Sarget in the Cross Threaded Lesbian Mafia

“Are you guys going to win the superbowl this year?”
Asked Gabriela scratching her money hand.

Johnny Hollywood could hear the hell hounds getting closer
He had to lose them
He ran thru the swamps where the aligators lived.

He did’nt want to have to kill shitbag but she broke his fucking heart again
And was planning to break his heart even more,
by fucking other dudes and then dragging her nasty ass back to him
fucking up any chance of him having a decent realationship with another.

I don’t want anyone else but shitbag Johnny told Dr. Karen Cervenka
As she jabbed the IV full of the Bertha medecine
into his arm over and over missing the vein everytime.

“I’ve never been to Johnny Hollywoods funeral before”
Said the sweetest Goddess on the planet “Robbin”

“Just wear something black” said Johnnys little filipino.

Johnny Hollywoods slut nurse Special “K”
Duct taped Johnnys fingers to the neck of a cheap accoustic guitar
To form the shape of a bar chord
And strummed right his hand across the strings and sound hole

“Do you do this everynight?” asked Gabriela

“No, I alternate the chord shapes everyday sometimes bar chords
sometimes cowboy chords
last month for an entire week I left his fingers
taped in the shape of the hendrix chord
until his doctor made me change the guitar
because that one was getting dirty” Said Special “K”

Johnny looked into the clouds He could see Jessica smiling
Across the heavens at him
He wanted to snort the silver lining off her ass but could not wake up.

“Is Johnny a dead head” asked his nosey crack head neighbor.

“Well,no wonder he’s not coming out of the Bertha medecine induced coma
Theres no magic,no power” Said Gretchen {Johnnys prom date}

“What the hell are you talking about,Girl?” asked Special “K”

“Sure he needs to play the guitar,but your using disposable guitars
He needs his guitars, something with power in it,
these guitars have no jewelry,No skulls embedded into the body
No crosses with his and Robbins hair intertwined together around it and then
Soaked in his blood. Its meaningless this way Do you want him to die or what?
Asked Miss Lott Johnny Hollywoods fifth grade teacher.

-------------
....,......
- Friday, September 12, 2003 at 21:52:06 (PDT)


Shitbag strutted in and dropped her wet whorebags
on Johnny Hollywoods foot pedals and hid her bottle
in his amp for the twenty fifth time since they first met..

"I'm back it was all my fault" She told Johnny Hollywood
"I love you and that's what is important"

Shitbags suitcase sat by the door for almost a week
It was very heavy with her inside it
Johnny had not yet figured out what to do with her body.

"That retarded bitch is starting to smell,Can't you get rid of her?
" Johnnys little filipino said. as she did her nails.

"Look he's starting to wake up,
I better give him a nice double dose of the Bertha medecine"
Said Johnnys nurse Special "K"

Johnny Hollywood was coming out of the com a.

-------------
..
- Friday, September 12, 2003 at 20:07:07 (PDT)


Johnny Hollywood was heart broken he prayed to Jessica for guidance but recieved no answer.
He played his guitar until bleach blondes showed up but it was'nt the same.

He remembered the day he carelessly tossed Shitbags whorebags outside and told her to leave
but he never wanted her to go
he wanted her to stop bieng the biggest whore in the tri-state area and was sick in the head from her cat box and if he could actaully train her to use modern day toilet faculities would also be nice.


He had to escape the living night mare and got into the porche he had especially made for his new wife
cupcake and set out for any where but Latitude .3811100 Longitude -88.1397200
he was free

-------------
...............,.
- Friday, September 12, 2003 at 15:25:10 (PDT)


9-12-2003
it took me 6 weeks to stop checking my messages for the word, any word from her.
6 weeks to realize I was dumped,
to realize that I deserved it, and
do not deserve her,
6 weeks without my abuse and terribly wrong way
I know she knows better,
she won't call when she gets back
and she shouldn't
I'm trying to move on, to protect my dignity, i don't know if i can do it.
we will see


-------------
anonymous
- Friday, September 12, 2003 at 15:07:47 (PDT)


The cross threaded lesbian mafia drove by Johnny Hollywoods house and fired shots at the gate and guard shac k.
-------------
.... ............... ....
- Friday, September 12, 2003 at 14:44:20 (PDT)


Johnny Hollywood was on the beach in the morning sun
playing with his favorite Barbie
when a fender stratocaster washed up on the shore right along side a dead fish and a piece of driftwood shaped like the state of Ohio.

"Whats the matter Johnny Hollywood?" asked his very favorite Barbie doll.

"This must be the work of the Cross Threaded Lesbian Mafia, I just bet they are working with Hitler and have tracked me thru the "singles in Ingleside service"
I recently registered for"
Johnny said as if he was in a trance.

"Your just paranoid,Johnny,were you taking the Bertha medecine again?"
Said Johnny Hollywoods most favorite Barbie doll in the whole wide world.

"Your in on it too!" said Johnny as he tried to burn the soggy Fender guitar on the beach.
-------------
......................................
- Friday, September 12, 2003 at 14:00:57 (PDT)


Johnny Hollywood showed up at Gails office
with his new doctor
Doctor Karen Cervenka

"Hi Gail, This is Karen Cervenka,
I thought you might wanna rip her stockings off
or do her with the light house figurines
or just dyke off together" Said Johnny Hollywood

"Oh hell no!!!" Protested Doctor Karen Cervenka
"I don't do anything on lawn furniture,you welfare
mother fuckers are crazy,take me back to my "Benz"
right now Johnny"

Just then the director of Pschyciatry
knocked on gails office door
"Telephone call for Johnny Hollywood
on line three,Gail" He said thru the door

"What kinda doctor is she really Johnny she gots
this fat nigga running around
taking phone messages for her" Karen blurted out.

"Shhh, its Johnnys attorney Gabriela"
Gail said as if it was very important.

"Hello. yes,the hood of a volkswagon?
sure I'll be there at midnight,o.k. see ya"
Said Johnny Hollywood

"Look you never said anything
about lawn furniture Hollywood" Said Miss Cervenka

"Roll out the red carpet" shouted Johnny

Gail opened her desk drawer
and pulled out a tathered box that said "Twister"
on the side and spead the plastic floor covering
out on the carpet

"Now your talking" said Doctor Karen Cervenka
as she tossed her long dark hair back
and got in the floor
for some nasty light house figurine fun.

Johnny tried to snort Thorazine off the crazy doctors
in every position imaginable before
the camaras battery ran down.
-------------
......,,.
- Friday, September 12, 2003 at 13:44:12 (PDT)


Johnny Hollywoods slut nurse "Special "K" had enough clevage to clear his mind but he need some real advice
He called white Hen pantry to talk to a super model but got hung up on

"Theres only one thing you can do,Johnny Hollywood" said special"K" in her nurses outfit including bunnie ears

"I never seen a nurse with bunnie ears" Johnny told her

The bartender looked mad as she said "why don't you play your fucking guitar,or pray to Jessica?"

"Whats her problem" asked Special "K"

"Well the contest is set up to no bartender could ever win,which makes sense because you drink get drunk and everyone looks better" Said a very drunken Johnny Hollywood

"Yeah,but this bastard goes so far as he won't even go out with a bartender" said the bartender with a thirty eight in her hand.

"To much compition" slurred Johnny Hollywood

"But you'll date strippers." said the bartender as she played with the box of hollowpoint shells

"Accidentlty" said Johnny as he vomited all over special K's white heels
-------------
.........
- Friday, September 12, 2003 at 12:30:07 (PDT)


Johnny Hollywoods slut nurse "Special "K" had enough clevage to clear his mind but he need some real advice
He called white Hen pantry to talk to a super model but got hung up on

"Theres only one thing you can do,Johnny Hollywood" said special"K" in her nurses outfit including bunnie ears

"I never seen a nurse with bunnie ears" Johnny told her

The bartender looked mad as she said "why don't you play your fucking guitar,or pray to Jessica?"

"Whats her problem" asked Special "K"

"Well the contest is set up to no bartender could ever win,which makes sense because you drink get drunk and everyone looks better" Said a very drunken Johnny Hollywood

"Yeah,but this bastard goes so far as he won't even go out with a bartender" said the bartender with a thirty eight in her hand.

"To much compition" slurred Johnny Hollywood

"But you'll date strippers." said the bartender as she played with the box of hollowpoint shells

"Accidentlty" said Johnny as he vomited all over special K's white heels
-------------
.........
- Friday, September 12, 2003 at 12:27:44 (PDT)


"Try some bitters and lemons"
said Special "K"

Johnny was drinking faster now and could'nt remember which bar he was at

"I can't believe she would kill a part of me like that he said as his tears dripped into his beer mug"

"Can we get a mug that has some fucking Ice on it" bitched Johnny hollywoods nurse ,the very special "k"

The bartender sang some more of Bobby mcgee and then said "What the hells wrong with you Johnny? you never even had relations with that woman and you cry when she aborts something? Just because you fantasized you where with her everytime you made "love"haha to your wife does not mean a thing" as she threw Johnny and the ladie in white another bar rag.
-------------
.............
- Friday, September 12, 2003 at 12:15:05 (PDT)


Marsha marshall marsha is what Johnny Hollywood was thinking while his nurse Special "K" kitty kat {The K was for Kathy} moved her lips
he could hear sounds in amd out
loud soft
then clearer and cleared her dialect became
she was telling Robbin
That Johnny was in a coma for ten years and could not undertand or feel a thing

"How could he be in a coma for ten years? I just seen him....uh uh...well it wasnt ten years ago" Said the sweet Goddess

"Yes apparently he collapsed into a brain damaging coma when his heart stopped working while thinking of you,look her I have recorded his every thought and dream via the microchip/camara its all saved in this machine,its pretty funny to bad he will never wake up,I would have already pulled the plug on him,but if I do I will end up on the eighth floor carring bed pans and robbing old people or something. Its not that bad here I just gave him the Bertha Medicene again" Said the very special of the specialist "K" nurses.

Johnny could see the white room blur against bubbles

"I enter sublinlimal thoughts by whispering into his ear brainwashing and hypnotising him during his Bertha induced coma while empting his navigational system,It must be emptied everyday or it could overflow,explode or even catch the room on fire" said the very thirsty Kathy

"What?" Said the sweet Goddess

"Oh yes, the fastest way to empty his navigational system is to say the name Jessica,but then I have nothing to do but run back and forth bringing pillows to sick people or even worse cleaning up thier shit"
Special K said as a mater of factly

"I thought they had prisoners to do that kind of work" Said the sweet Goddess Robbin.

"Oh No,he's waking up!" cried Special K"
as she took two handfuls of downers.

"Are we gonna jam?" asked Johnny Hollywood.

"How long have you been here,Johnny Hollywood?"
asked the worlds sweetest Goddess "Robbin"

Johnny did'nt remember who Ronald Reagun was but he could still recite some crazy Frank Zappa lyrics.

"Are you really a Ratchel-a-holic,like this chart sayes?" Asked the now angry angel from heaven "Robbin"

Before Johnny had a chance to answer two helicopters flew past the window and a crowd of people formed on the ground

"Its the cross thread lesbian mafia" cried Johnny Hollywood

"No its not Johnny,Its swat" said special "k"

"it just looks like swat they took the form of a swat team sometimes a football team,believe me it really is them,we have got to get out of here" said Johnny Hollywood

"Take me with you,Johnny" Begged Special"K"


-------------
......,....
- Friday, September 12, 2003 at 12:06:17 (PDT)


I am a sinner and everday I must work hard at not committing sins for sins are unrighteous and who
wants to live their life day in and day out in sin
and subsequently being not right with anything or
anyone?
-------------
Anonymous
- Friday, September 12, 2003 at 10:02:37 (PDT)


Redemption

I understand the smirks
but don't think we can't
see them for they are
even in your eyes and
there is no way to loose
them unless you uncover
your disguise in order
to deal with your pain
that has caused you to
go insane to the point
where nothing was real
and feeling was absent
It is only when you come
back to your senses both
in your mind and with your
touch, taste, smell, etc
that you will fully grip
forgiveness for it is truely
the only road to love
-------------
Anonymous
- Friday, September 12, 2003 at 09:54:40 (PDT)


today is unlike all the other yesterdays I've ever had
for on this day I am able to walk forward knowing there
is no hold and I am the only one in control of the life
given to me by none other than creation. I am one of the lucky ones for my heart has not harden from all the wrong doings I have done nor am I from the ones done onto me. I know love and it knows me and together
we can accomplish the freedom set out for us by the giver who gave us life.

-------------
Anonymous
- Friday, September 12, 2003 at 09:41:46 (PDT)


He was my beautiful
wiggly baby
my little gremlin
He loved me
and I let him down
I let him die
Double O Zero
I will miss you


-------------
Pretynd
- Friday, September 12, 2003 at 06:49:13 (PDT)


I miss you

09-11-01
-------------
Eve
- Wednesday, September 10, 2003 at 23:57:10 (PDT)


s'up
-------------
?
- Wednesday, September 10, 2003 at 23:26:44 (PDT)


Bertha Mae came back from the fields ready to kill.

"Where them Checkoslobvodkaian bitchs go" Bertha asked the Harpo Marx impersonator that was digging in the ratchel's garden.

"Its the party on you pool" She told the cute lady with a shotgun.

Bertha Mae found last weeks mail order Russians lounging by the pool with all the rest of the hired help.

"What the fuck did you add them to the cart for if they ain't even got enough sense to milk a damn cow"
Bertha bellowed at the crowd.
-------------
....
- Wednesday, September 10, 2003 at 21:07:14 (PDT)


Johnny Hollywood took his guitar to the gynocologist to have the prenancy test done real offical like while Bertha Mae was still out working the fields.
-------------
Anonymous
- Wednesday, September 10, 2003 at 14:51:55 (PDT)


"The Adventures of Johnny Hollywood"
-------------
.....
- Wednesday, September 10, 2003 at 14:39:25 (PDT)


"Johnny Hollywood, I'm so proud of you bieng published three times in the NORML newsletter in the last three years. this calls for a celebration" said Gretchen as she rubbed his shoulders.

"Yeah, lets me and you go down to bamy and visit the real crossroads like I have always wanted to. he told the sweet red head.

"But you know nobody knows exactly where they are,Johnny Its all myth and stories" Said Gretchen as she loaded the bong.
-------------
Anonymous
- Wednesday, September 10, 2003 at 11:28:37 (PDT)


Johnny Hollywood called around tring to find a therapist who could see him and Gail sometime this week.
-------------
Anonymous
- Wednesday, September 10, 2003 at 10:29:38 (PDT)


Johnny Hollywood went down to the Jerry Springer studios and hung out in front of the building trying to pick up a nice lady to take to the bingo party tonight.
-------------
.....
- Wednesday, September 10, 2003 at 10:27:48 (PDT)


Shitbag stole every hoilday from Johnny Hollywood then the season summer and now his birthday
-------------
Anonymous
- Wednesday, September 10, 2003 at 10:25:39 (PDT)


Shitbag wrote love letters filled with bad poetry
to Johnny Hollywood everyday for three weeks begging him to take her back.
-------------
...........................,,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.
- Tuesday, September 09, 2003 at 22:40:47 (PDT)


Johnny Hollywood went down to the welfare office to drink and find a new mom for the kids

he found them a nice one
she weighed in at
four hundred and thirty-seven pounds
and Johnny could eat for two days just on the chicken he found stuck in her rolls of fat.

He knew this was soulmate material right off
when she offered to buy Johnny a new fender guitar with her welfare check this month and just feed her four kids by five different daddies margerine sticks and ketchup soup
She even scored big on night and brought home enough mustard packets to make mustard soup for a change.
-------------
.............
- Tuesday, September 09, 2003 at 22:26:50 (PDT)


Johnny Hollywood bought four mesikin midgets from the local pizza place and show them the kitchen
never before had they seen the new things
Johnny had in his modern home.
Johnny took turns showing them a new invention called the refridgerator and something called hot water
they loved it and they loved Johnny for it.

-------------
...
- Tuesday, September 09, 2003 at 22:20:09 (PDT)


Shit bag showed up at the door of Johnny Hollywoods house boat with a wilted dandlion in her hand
-------------
Anonymous
- Tuesday, September 09, 2003 at 22:15:59 (PDT)


Box car Jesus made a room full of twentys
on his personel computer,And bet half the room full of twenty dollar bills
on the Cross threaded Lesbian Mafia football team to win the games
and at the odds he got he was able to
buy the Cross Threaded Lesbian Mafia Football team
from Micheal Jackson and give them to Johnny Hollywood for Christmas
So when Johnny Hollywood took Gretchen out to the
Olive Garden to eat he acted like he was the coolest guy around
Showing off leting her use the play book as a coaster
and other unorthodox methods Of enterainment.
Singing a lot of “Pink Floyd Money” “buy a football team”
Inbetween that and pretending like Christina Applegate was calling him
Until Gretchen busted him and told him
“Why you stayed with that retarded fuck,I’ll never understand that.”

Johnny was having a great time with Gretchen the Magic moist Redhead
He just could’nt hear anything she said to him because
he was concentrating on how good she looked at any given time.
“You’ld think they could tip more than that”said Suzie their waitress
as they left.

Boxcar Jesus made more twentys.
Johnny Hollywood sold him a home made
hydrophonic ink dispenser and currency washer
that he did a couple of crappy tattoos on rewarta’s big ass and thiegh with
trying to draw a body sized dragon,It kinda looked like an aligator.
Box car Jesus made even more twentys.

Box car Jesus bought Gary Bussee’s Mobile Home in Alabama
With some of the cash for Bertha to live in
And he laundered the rest thru
the Cross Threaded Lesbian Mafia Union’s crooked bingo parties
On ladies night and paid off O.S.H.A with some off it.
Then he bought an old Cadilliac from snoopy dog
That said Snoop De Ville on the side of it and had his worst driver
Chauffer the leader of the cross threaded lesbian mafia around in it
And made the newly importated team of russian mail order brides
Wash the late model caddy on a rainy day.

“You bastard,Johnny!!” shouted Bertha as she did lawn jobs on the front five acres
of the Hollywood estate with her air conditioned John Deere tractor
that now had five bumper stickers that said “Earl is in the trunk.”


Johnny woke up in a broken lawn chair in Gails office
Today for show and tell he brought more garbage he bought on ebay
With the twentys Boxcar jesus made
This time it was the bunny ears once worn by Sandra Bullock
Gail wore them proudly
With the ears shaped like an “L”

Gail seemed distant during tonights visit
Could it have been that fact that she was making light
of Johnny Hollywood on the cell phone with her girl friends
during most of the session.

Johnny Hollywood was now glad he was also
playing for all of the consoling with Gail
with the funny money twenties.

Johnny laughed as he snorted the finely chopped peanut shells
Off of Gails oddly shaped big ass as some sort of therapy.

“Come on everybody get in the plane” said Johnny to his wife,doctor,
nurse,personell shopper, stalker,new drunken director ,accountant,upstairs maid
and fiancee
“We are flying to Maine the eastern seaboard to cure Gails problem”
Johnny told the crew.

Little did they know Johnny was really going to fly over to Afganistan to make sure
The war was won the right way and bring back some of the secret donut reciepes.

Johnny Hollywood woke up in a box in the alley behind an abandon building at
2648 North Clark Street.

“How long have you lived here?” asked the Menominee Indian Squall “Kim”
the secret welfare agent who was sportin’ a forty
and had massive crack sores on her cat box lips.

“Why Me?” asked Johnny Hollywood
as the squarelly bitch sniffed a rag soaked with paint thinner
giving anyone within seventy-five feet a massive headache.

Johnny woke up in a filthy basement apartment at forty sixty Kenmore
To the sounds of a fifteen inch rat eating bacon out of the cast iron frying
Pan Bertha once used to smack the daylights out of Johnny Hollywood
For praticing the minor pentatonic scale for four days straight “nonstop”
She claimed.

Johnny went out and bought a nineteen-sixty eight Ford Mustang
With the New twenties “It was nice dark green with gold metallic speckles
To bad it was a six cylinder” Said Bubbles.

“Was you talking about Dubs,Yo?” asked Natalie.
As she directed the russians out to the barn to help Bertha milk the cows.
“I’m a corn fed girl” Bertha told the ruskis
“ya all s’pose to be wearin’ overalls not disco dance clothes”
She warned them.

Johnny woke up in gails office another boring tape of family affair was
Playing on the vcr.
“Look Gail,I’m seeing DOCTOR KarEn Cervenka now.” Johnny told Gail

Johnny Hollywood and Boxcar Jesus
Only went to the AA meeting to met some of the upper class ladies of libertyville
That evening.

-------------
..
- Tuesday, September 09, 2003 at 22:08:13 (PDT)


Johnny Hollywood showed up at the awards banquit
drunk as a dog he staggered out of the limo and fell on his face his "new special friend" helped him back up and he puked on the red carpet before he made it in the door

"Is this your wife?" asked Berthas mother as she handed him a couple of champagne glasses

"No I found her holding a road sign on the expressway on the way over here" Johnny told Berthas Momma
before he threw up on her dress.
-------------
Anonymous
- Tuesday, September 09, 2003 at 14:29:44 (PDT)


in the middle of Gails office Johnny Hollywood layed on the plastic twister mat as his little filipino walked on his back
"Are'nt you going to tell her what happened to the second guitar player,Johnny?" His little filipino asked

"He sucked real bad?" Johnny asked

Gail did'nt even notice there was a world around her
she just kept on painting the cermaic litehouse chess pieces by hand.

"Is this what you pay for,johnny Hollywood?" asked his little filipino

"Usally we watch "Family Affair" Johnny told her.
-------------
Anonymous
- Tuesday, September 09, 2003 at 14:22:10 (PDT)


Gail told Johnny she wanted to see him and the Cross Threaded Lesbian Mafia at the next session
so Johnny told the cross threaded lesbian mafia to be there and then he never showed luckly no one ever missed him but he still was billed for that appoint ment
-------------
Anonymous
- Tuesday, September 09, 2003 at 14:13:34 (PDT)


Johnny Hollywood spit the seafood out across the table
"Whats the matter,Johnny don't you like the dinner I made you?" asked Johnnys little filipino.

"Did you cook Dolphin again,you made me more dolphin? You know I hate dolphin,you stupid little yoko bitch"
Johnny Yelled.

Johnny's little filipino began to cry

Just then the entire deck was sprayed with bullets
Bertha was back and she was pissed
"I work my ass off at the fillin' station while you eat dolphin's with this little hoe? You won't even eat
the fish sticks I make you and you would'nt even eat my sisters tuna casserol,you bastard" Shouted Bertha as she reloaded the automatic weapon.

"I ate Bettys tuna casserol in the back of that silver camaro" Johnny retorted

"Now your going to die" Bertha said as she spit

"well she asked,I think its the overalls Betty never wore the overalls and just looked better with the white hair and all" Said Johnny as he caught a stray bullet in the bac k.
-------------
Anonymous
- Tuesday, September 09, 2003 at 14:08:28 (PDT)


Olivia looked to damn good sunbathing by the pool behind the main house but Gail looked loney toons laying out in the miday sun with the answering machine duct taped to her chest.

As the rolls pulled up to the Hollywood estate
Johnny told Harpo the landscaper to put on some ZZ Top
"Nationwide" he shouted

Three russian mail order brides got out of the rolls
looking like it was nineteen sevety six again.

"Whats this Johnny,the remake of Saturdaynight fever?" asked Johnnys personel trainer "Ratchel".

"I got them there "Extras" off the ol' shitternetski
Johnny told her trying not to nibble her ear lobe.

"We are like to fuck,Mr. Johnny" said the russian mail order bride with bell bottom floods from hell.
-------------
Anonymous
- Tuesday, September 09, 2003 at 13:57:52 (PDT)


"Do you think I have forsaken God?" Johnny Hollywood asked Gail as she just stared at the piece of helicopter laying in the floor of her office.

"Gail,are you listening?" Johnny asked her loudly.

"You really bought this piece of Stevie Ray Vaughns death on ebay,Johnny?" she asked in amazement.

"Yes,I told you this is a piece of the helicopter that Stevie Ray died in up at Alpine Valley" Johnny told her yet once again.

"Well, I'm kind of nervous now about the trip to maine
next weekend,I don't think I wanna fly out there" Gail said

"It'll be great,Gail we'll fly out there in my leer Jet and you'll finaly get your stockings ripped off in a real light house just like you always wanted" Johnny told her a little to excited.

"Your not going to bring that little blonde with are you?" Said Gail showing jealosy

"Of coarse,Olivia goes where ever I do,Thats my soulmate" Johnny told the doctor with a degree from ha ha ha Aurora.
-------------
Anonymous
- Tuesday, September 09, 2003 at 13:46:51 (PDT)


wrong red head i'm hoping
-------------
Anonymous
- Tuesday, September 09, 2003 at 13:31:10 (PDT)


out of all the god-forsaken, shitty, mean-threaded things to do
you had to go out and waste your boredom
on this

not at all what I had not expected

and Murphy's got nothin' up on you

-------------
Eve
- Tuesday, September 09, 2003 at 13:10:00 (PDT)


It was forth down
and Johnny Hollywood was losing bad
The Cross Threaded Lesbian Mafia
had thirty seven desiel dykes on the field
they had breast plates of iron and razor blade teeth
all Johnny had to do was get past them
to the high tempature red head

-------------
......
- Tuesday, September 09, 2003 at 09:54:35 (PDT)


Johnny Hollywood reached the rusted coat hanger into Gails snatchasorous and pulled the bloody rat like piece of death out into the cruel world and instead of spanking it he put it into time out for infinity.
-------------
Anonymous
- Tuesday, September 09, 2003 at 01:47:16 (PDT)


ever since Johnny Hollywood had killed his mother
because she gave away top secret band information to the opposing bands he had been having nightmares about her coming back to haunt him
real weird shit that made Gail freak out when he told her about it
then when she found out he had recently met Carmen Electra and was calling her Mama,Gail was so jealose she made up bogus stories about Johnny and his mother
and in one of the midnight stocking pulling episodes Gail started screaming "I hate your Mother,Johnny bastard ass!!" and Johnny Hollywood had no guess as to why she spazzed out like this
but when she started kicking the bondo lose on Olivia's super stretch hoop D Johnny did let her out of the trunk

"Your fucking up my wifes chili cruiser you dumb bitch he explained to the doctor as he administered some heavy duty shock treatment on her amazon ass
-------------
Anonymous
- Tuesday, September 09, 2003 at 01:37:53 (PDT)


As soon as the cross threaded lesbian mafia found out that Johnny Hollywood had bet all of Gretchens tip money on Greenbay they kidnapped the team and put on the jersys to go play the game
an entire team of imposters battling for the pot of gold Johnny was going to make Gretchen like him even more with via tipskis

The cross threaded lesbian mafia tore the Bears up that sunday afternoon and took both cheerleading teams
home to celebrate.
During all the football confusion Gail made her escape and made it back to her office where she had an emergency jar of peanut butter she scrounged down in two minutes flat.
-------------
Anonymous
- Tuesday, September 09, 2003 at 01:29:12 (PDT)


Johnny Hollywood bought candy from a garage sale and took her back and tried to get a refund.



-------------
Anonymous
- Tuesday, September 09, 2003 at 01:21:21 (PDT)


Johnny Hollywood dint know where to put the candle, "up ur arse the voices said". He dint want to do do it, but then again " had the voices ever told him wrong?". He called his mother, she was in the basement washing it clean of all the blood, his father had carelessly spilled while injecting himself with orangejuice in an oversized football.
"Mom", "mom the voices said i should stick the candle up me arse", his mother looked tiert, and said "jesus not agian!, im not hanging u on that cross again and stabbing ur arse with a candle again!".

Johnny Hollywood started to scream, "mom god damn it the voices wantsss it, it wantsss the candle up me arse, so get to it bitch!"
Johnny Hollywood´s mom put on her latex gloves (mind u still shit stained after last night candle fight), grabbed the candle and started to stab her son in the arse.
Johnny Hollywood screamed "oh momma, ooooh mommma, u sure know how to make ya little boy happy.

-------------
Anonymous
- Tuesday, September 09, 2003 at 00:26:44 (PDT)


"Roxy! Roxy! Sober up baby" Johnny Hollywood said in a panic "The cross threaded Lesbian Mafia have taken my marriage consoler "Gail" hostage,You gotta do something.

"UHH fuck the goofy bitch,I'll kick her ass" Roxy slurred.

"Oh No,not you too? Please tell me The cross Threaded Lesbian Mafia have'nt gotten to you to Roxy" Cried Johnny Hollywood

Roxy lifted her Harley tee shirt to reveal the purple heart pin that periced her infected nipple "I won this medal my third week in Cross Threaded Lesbian Mafia bootcamp" She told Johnny

"I know, I know Johnny said as if he was out of breath
-------------
Anonymous
- Monday, September 08, 2003 at 22:43:53 (PDT)


Berthas dog ran away and found its way to the hollywood mansion it was puking on Olivia's limos back tire and scratching its nipples

"I think its pregnant" Johnny told Big Roxy as she burnt chickens on the grill.

"You got it the coat a hanger" said the very drunken' Roxy Roxy Bo Boxy then went on to say
"I don't fucking care dude,look I'm the one should be directing this shit,you'll get laid more,trust me" she said sounding just like "Meatloaf"


-------------
Anonymous
- Monday, September 08, 2003 at 22:35:54 (PDT)


"Theres someone I would like you to meet,Gail" Said Johnny as he pushed open the swinging doors and entered the Cross Threaded Lesbian Mafia Union Meeting/bingo party.

"What the hell is this, Johnny? A bulldyke football team?" Gail asked

The entire defense looked at Gail,you could have heard a pin drop.
Johnny hid behind the jukebox and closed his ey es
-------------
Anonymous
- Monday, September 08, 2003 at 22:25:16 (PDT)


"Uh huh,I see Johnny Hollywood,you believe that the Cross Threaded Lesbian Mafia is trying to get the angel vision you keep seeing "Jessica" obviously a figment of your imagination because noone could look as good as you have decribed her" Said Gail real pissy

and with that Johnny Hollywood and Gail were wratling around the office knocking over lawn furniture Johnny had found in the garbage to cut back on the cost of props.
-------------
Anonymous
- Monday, September 08, 2003 at 22:13:13 (PDT)


Gretchen gave Johnny Hollywood a series of lap dances
as the wind blew her long red hair in his face
she whispered into his ear ever so lovingly
"I hear your getting five hundred and twenty-five mil
Johnny Hollywood"

Johnny was so confused he did'nt even know
what color Corvette would go good with Gretchens
long red hair.

Gretchen told Johnny to "get rid
of the retarded girlfriend now so it wont cut into
her shopping monies and she wanted to live large
like in a high rise and get the hell out of this
hillbilly two fuck town"

Johnny drooled on her a little bit more and thought
about telling all his friends he was SOLID with Gretch.

Wake up Johnny Hollywood some Jessica's
here to see you" said one of the bulldyke guards
as she nailed him back to the cross

the light from Jessica's halo blinded Johnny and
he could barely see her wings from up on the cross

"Johnny,You have to stop playing
the Itsie bitsie spyder solo's" She told him
-------------
Anonymous
- Monday, September 08, 2003 at 22:01:27 (PDT)


Johnny Hollywood decieded to wear his guitar night and day which made the stocking ripping sessions with gail a bit uncomfortable
but she got used to it

"I dont care if you do call me a killer,Johnny.
I am getting an abortion"
Gail said almost in tears

As Berthas private investagator burst into the room
"Shes playing you Johnny,She jealose of the guitar."
-------------
Anonymous
- Monday, September 08, 2003 at 21:46:51 (PDT)


"Your to pretty to cook" Johnny Hollywood told his retarded girlfriend as she tried to shit in a Rosatis bag and missed.

"You know the bathroom is less than ten feet away there buttercup,for now on I shall call you shitbag"
Johnny said sickend

-------------
Anonymous
- Monday, September 08, 2003 at 21:39:43 (PDT)


Johnny Hollywood took his sweet attorney and her bastard child out to the Burger King for lunch while the little boy wore the crown hat
they discussed the 525 million dollar lawsuit Johnny Hollywood had against the file swappers on the "Shitternet" as Johnny called it.
-------------
Anonymous
- Monday, September 08, 2003 at 21:36:47 (PDT)


When Johnny Hollywood shaved his retarded
girlfriends head he then could
see where the microchip was implanted
in her skull and decieded to take matters
into his own hands and play government
he got his retarded girlfriend drunk and she passed outagain
and this time instead of shaving her head
since that had been done to death and
there was'nt even any stuble yet
he pryed the microchip out with a screw driver and
replaced them with Gibson guitar parts
then he took two real big magnets
and stuck them to each side of her head
and said the magic words
"Please God make her sane"
and waited until she woke up
bitching to see if she was cured yet.

Johnny Hollywood told all of his friends
he was a doctor,a doctor of pizza ha ha ha
he would say all the time.
Since he was now kicking it with Gail
He considered himself qualified
to cure his retarded girlfriend.
"I will apply for a grant from the United States
Government so I can fix you right up as good as new"
he told the sick one.
-------------
Anonymous
- Monday, September 08, 2003 at 21:32:55 (PDT)


The bongs enhanced the itsie bitsie spyder solos Johnny
had been working on to the point he began looking
for a lard ass bitch on welfare to sponser
his guitaring since he was using the
wah pedal on the aforementioned solos to much
and did'nt have enough brains to use an adapter .
-------------
Anonymous
- Monday, September 08, 2003 at 21:21:47 (PDT)


And lets talk about Pizza Gail Said
-------------
Anonymous
- Monday, September 08, 2003 at 21:10:42 (PDT)


"And lets talk about Pizza" Sail said as she painted the little light house ceramic chess peices.

"Yes" Johnny Hollywood said happily"I think that I am obsessed with pizza,Gail you know like you and the light houses or you and the ripping the stockings off thing"

"Oh don't tease me" said Gail excitedly as she tackled Johnny Hollywood on the Twister floor mat.

Johnny Hollywood knew it was time to introduce Gail to the Leader of the Cross Threaded Lesbian Mafia.
then maybe they might let him win a round or two at the crooked bingo game hootenany on ladies night.
-------------
Anonymous
- Monday, September 08, 2003 at 21:09:43 (PDT)


"Sometimes I think my guitar talks to me"
Johnny Hollywood said.

"What have you been smoking? asked Gail

"Well you know I'm a lead vocalist so I don't smoke"
Johnny Hollywood told her

"Your a God damn liar,I seen you snort the finest green buds and red hairs off Oliva's ass Johnny!" Cried Johnnys useless brain doctor

"Yes, but thats not smoking is it? Alright I do believe pot should be legalized and I do smoke it
because it helps my Itsie bitsie spyder solos get into the groove" Johnny told her as he ripped her stockings off her for the fifteenth time in an hour.

"Whats this stupid stocking ripping crap do for you anyway ,Gail" Johnny asked her once again.

"Quit asking me questions,Mother Fucker,what do I look like the shell answer man?" snapped Gail
-------------
Anonymous
- Monday, September 08, 2003 at 15:00:06 (PDT)


Johnny Hollywood put a candle in the window
and waited as long as he could for you
but you were a NO SHOW
and he left
not saying where he was going
when the moon was full.
-------------
Anonymous
- Monday, September 08, 2003 at 14:50:19 (PDT)


Johnny Hollywood put his hoster on and got on his horse and rode into the sun towards town to save the
sweet school teacher from becoming an old maid
Yes ladies and Gentlemen he was looking for the soul bride
his soulmate
the love of his life
and at the same time he was running away from the complete waste of time named whats her name
-------------
Anonymous
- Monday, September 08, 2003 at 14:46:24 (PDT)


Johnny Hollywood checked platform three for moonbeams arivial seven times a day for two weeks
she was non-e xistant
-------------
Anonymous
- Monday, September 08, 2003 at 14:42:52 (PDT)


"And how do you feel about that,Johnny?" Gail asked

Johnny Hollywood leaned back in the lawn chair in Gails office and said "I never in my life could even dream that my guitar would be pregnant,I mean thats kinda strange don't you thinkski?"

Gail straghtened her stockings and winked at Johnny
-------------
Anonymous
- Monday, September 08, 2003 at 10:45:59 (PDT)


Johnny Hollywood woke up early and shaved his retarded girlfriends head,then snuk out the door and thought to himself
"I would and should cut her convertible in half but I already pawned my sawzaw to feed snookumcakes that pizza"

and down the road he went
the lonesome highway
the open road
freedom
three and a half miles of it
right to gails office
where he noticed something for the first time
Gail was a marriage consoler
Johnny was'nt married
why is he going to a marriage consoler anyway
he did'nt know the answer
so into the office he went
"Gail,Your just a marriage consolor?" asked Johnny Hollywood

Gail said"Look Johnny I'll ask the questions around here,Now why did you blow up the Mormons?"

"I thought they were Jehovas,I mean I did'nt" Johnny said a bit uneasy

"I guess you know your little hoe lost her job now that you don't have her shuttled around back and forth to work for free in the white limo with the small scratch on the driver door" Gail said as she opened a brand new case of unripable stockings she found on ebay

"Hey Gail,I'm not married and I lost a lot of money on greenbay and the bears yesterday" said Johnny Hollywood
kinda sad.

"It doesnt matter now put the maynoise in the microwave for ten minutes then rub it on my calves" said Gail as if she was a bootcamp sargent

Sir yes sir,Mayoneise at the ready sir" Johnny Hollywoood said to gail as he gazed into her now crossed eyes
-------------
Anonymous
- Monday, September 08, 2003 at 10:37:46 (PDT)


"Where do you get cash,I mean are you this crazy with everybody,all your patients?"Johnny asked Gail
-------------
Anonymous
- Monday, September 08, 2003 at 09:15:39 (PDT)


"So all these women are one woman,the nasty karokee whores personailities Blah Blah Blah"
Gail said out of anger as she straightened the Thomas Kincaid signed offset lithograph.

"Fuck all that,Johnny Hollywood, rip my stockings off"
Gail begged
-------------
Anonymous
- Monday, September 08, 2003 at 09:09:01 (PDT)


Johnny Hollywood opened the door surprised
it was the Mormons again so he lead them to the pool house where he grew the good stuff and skated a bit
and locked them inside
the he signaled Chris to detinate the explosives and goodbye mormons goodbye tony hawk and good by cheech and chongski

"at least we wont turn into lizards with that blueberry" Johnny told the wild eyed Chris"
before he hid undernearth a lawn chair hoping she would go away.
-------------
Anonymous
- Monday, September 08, 2003 at 09:03:15 (PDT)


"Well Gail, Your my shrink right?" Johnny asked

"Johnny Hollywood could you slide your chair over a little? Your blocking my view of the "Kincaid""
Gail said as she relaxed on the couch

"Gail, I wanna talk about some things besides Thomas Kincaid paintings and light houses looking like penis' to you." Johnny told the amazon blonde

Gail put fresh stockings on

"Look Gail some things have been bothering me
you see,I never found moonbeam down on platform three
where do you think she got gone to?" Johnny asked the pschco bitch

"O.K. Johnny Hollywood, RIP MY STOCKINGS OFF!!!" Gail shouted

BOOM BOOM BOOM there was a loud knock at the door
"Gail I hope your not doing the stocking thing again"
said the director of Phycscology
-------------
Anonymous
- Monday, September 08, 2003 at 08:55:24 (PDT)


Johnny Hollywood refused to call out the little blondes name who he had recently married because he could see this was a trap the evil cross threaded lesbian mafia union leaders had set up to capture the hottest girl in the entire county. "I will die before I give up the nicest looking one around to you damn desiel dykes NNNNEEEEEEVVVVVVVVVEEEEEERRRRR!!!!" Johnny Hollywood shouted

The Bulldykes wrestled him down off the cross
and d4ropped him into the burning pit of lava.

"Hit me you can't hurt me" Johnny quoted more chili peppers to the crooked ladies of dykeism .
-------------
Anonymous
- Monday, September 08, 2003 at 01:00:09 (PDT)


Johnny Hollywood woke up in lots of pain
he was nailed to the cross in the middle of the cross threaded lesbian mafias secret cucuber garden.

"You wanna go back to Kansas,Scarecrow?" asked the Bulldyke Large

Johnny Hollywood knew he had scene better days
his only hope was that his new wife would come save him from the desiel dyke hell he was about to experience.
-------------
Anonymous
- Monday, September 08, 2003 at 00:52:47 (PDT)


"I don't give a fuck" Said Johnny Hollywood as he drew the outline for the marijuana sleeve tattoo he was about to do on his arm.

"I want red hairs like ratchel in there and no seeds"
said Johnny as he made ink from his retarded girlfriends blood

are you really going to use that crap asked murree

"Who the hell are you,the landscaper?" asked Johnny Hollywood
-------------
Anonymous
- Monday, September 08, 2003 at 00:46:34 (PDT)


Chris began a brand new game of hide and seek with Johnny Hollywood
he looked and looked and looked for her for weeks
and when he found her she said "Sing "Hey Joe I'm going to round lake with a mesikin" again Johnny"

"Uh yeah,the Hendrix circle of fifths,anything for you"
said Johnny trying not to lie to much.

"Anything huh,hows about you admit you do know of the Candice from the old Gurnnee Rositios that is now Pizannos pizza,then you bastard"

Johnny could not believe she was going to play the Candy card at a time like this
He tried to call Gail but she was still signing autographs for the long line at the libary
each picture of herself she signed "rip my stockings off love gail"

Chris looked somewhat attractive with the automatic weapons in her hand "Just shoot me" she said to no one except the bulldyke to her immediant left

Johnny tried to duck and get as far away from Chris as he could while saying "I never said you look like that bitch from "Just shoot me" the TV show,in fact I never seen it I swear,and I did'nt mean to give you the rose I just forgot it there for real you know valentines day was over any way,please don't kill me
I love you or I'm not intrested in you at all whatever you want baby,please just let me live all I ever thought about when I was making Bertha happy was that little patch of skin on your hip I could see thru the hole in your blue jeans when you walked up to the counter to take my change.

Chris emptied her weapon into Johnnys retarded girlfriend

"Oh darn" said Johnny Hollywood playing dumb
I'm gonna miss her now!"

Then Johnny Hollywood was assinated

"Whoops" said Chris the angry super model

"I would have went out with him" said Michelle laughing hysterically

"He only likes you because you have blonde hair said the bimbo in the blue su it
-------------
Anonymous
- Monday, September 08, 2003 at 00:41:30 (PDT)


Berthas private investagator entered the room cautiously and said "The jig is up Gail, Your whack"

"Fuck you, if your Berthas private investagator then where is she?" demanded Gail

"Shes in the islands with Sodbuster celebrating the change of the seasons" Said Berthas private investagator very happily.
-------------
Anonymous
- Sunday, September 07, 2003 at 23:54:07 (PDT)


"the cat box moon exploded fully commerical" Said Gail as she rubbed the contents of the bag of Cheetos into her long Blonde hair and squated over the brand new cat box she bought at walmart during her power lunch.

"Gail I thought we might talk about "Eve" today since I'm paying you for these little visits" Said Johnny Hollywood questioning her authority

"Silence!!!I'm the doctor here and I'm this close to curing the subject,I make sure you get twenty-six court ordered anger management classes at a hundred bucks a piece" she said as she killed rolly pollys on her desk with the very soiled light house figurines.
-------------
Anonymous
- Sunday, September 07, 2003 at 23:47:58 (PDT)


"You got some explaining to do Johnny Hollydaze" said Chris real pissy "Who's this suzanne and whos this Candy"

"Well them is just more of that crazy bitches personailties,I don't know nobody by those names"
Johnny told it like it was
-------------
Anonymous
- Sunday, September 07, 2003 at 18:46:50 (PDT)


Johnny Hollywood proudly walked into the station to pawn his sawzall he loved and cherished.

"Isnt this the sawzall you named "Maria" asked the highly integellent clerk."

"Yeah, I figure I better get rid of this here sawzall before my shrink wants to use it in her funny painter of light rituals again" Johnny told the rocket scientist at the station

"Whatcha gonna do with all this here cash,Johnny?" asked the man with the thinking cap in tilt

"I'm gonna feed shitbag over here some pizza" Johnny said as if it mattered
-------------
Anonymous
- Sunday, September 07, 2003 at 18:42:47 (PDT)


Johnny Hollywood slipped Bertha's private investagator a twenty to find out if Gail was really a doctor or a patient "I let you know tomorrow" He said real cop like as Johnny Hollywood's retarded girl friends car blew up in the parking lot.

"I'm gonna miss her,what was her name again?" he asked Colomboski


-------------
Anonymous
- Sunday, September 07, 2003 at 18:35:24 (PDT)


"Was You really born on a lunch truck,Johnny?" Asked his really overpaid shrinkski of a dumb blonde"Gail"

"You know I was,Is Aurora a creditable institution, as far as brain schoolin' goes,Gail?" Asked the very doubtful Johnny Hollywood.

She was wearing her new twister pancho she had recently made and looking pretty silly

"Are all those little cirles of color real meaningful,there cupcake,I mean why did you draw light houses on each color circle?"

Johnny asked once again before the spent seven hour> "Was You really born on a lunch truck,Johnny?" Asked his really overpaid shrinkski of a dumb blonde"Gail"

"You know I was,Is Aurora a creditable institution, as far as brain schoolin' goes,Gail?" Asked the very doubtful Johnny Hollywood.

She was wearing her new twister pancho she had recently made and looking pretty silly

"Are all those little cirles of color real meaningful,there cupcake,I mean why did you draw light houses on each color circle?"

Johnny asked once again before the spent seven hours looking on the internet at the lincoln/kennedy assiantion simularites.

"I wanna go play my guitar" Johnny said to the demented doctor of thought processes.

"I hope your not going to play the "Itsie bitsie spyder solos again" said a very tired Gail
-------------
Anonymous
- Sunday, September 07, 2003 at 16:57:06 (PDT)


Gail layed down on eight sets of front brake pads for a nineteen seventy-six Dodge Dart and said "I'm your Doctor Johnny,insert the light house figurines into my anus and rip off my stockings while singing "Jingle Bells",then duct tape the shot glasses full of jello to my nips please?"

Johnny Hollywood knew something was wrong with this picture right away
he wanted to consult his blood red Gibson SG he named Ratchell on the matter but was very far from the little guitar with all the good advice
sometimes when everything was right
Johnny Hollywood felt Ratchell the blood red Gibson SG guitar play itself
while he was playing he would wonder
"where did that come from"
a sound relationship that only yoko the nasty karokee whore stood in the way of

"Gail" Johnny said I got some issues over here too could'nt we maybe work on my problementos for a while
-------------
Anonymous
- Sunday, September 07, 2003 at 16:47:26 (PDT)


Lets go play pool she says. so we do one game. I win yay for me. She is bored, what are we going to do? Call him. Him why what will he do? Call him mabey we can meet up and hang out. She calls, she says he is fine and only 16, she says she has known him for a few years. He answers she talks for awhile, hangs up and says he wants us to come, He wants to meet you. Me why me, I am a ugly bafoon, he has never seen me or heard my voice, I am sure he will hate it. We leave and are on our way, oh no we are lost, call him back, I call.......Hey....Hello?..............Is this the guy?...............Yea.....Hi this is her friend........Oh hey.......damn you sound hot.......Hey shut up how do we get to your house?...........He tells me how we get lost on the way but we make it. Its him and a friend. they are both cute. but they are assholes. We talk for a bit she makes out with a guy and we leave. oh no we forgot our gas money. He pays us we leave. Oh shit we are gonna be in trouble. We get to my house I tell my mom the story. lies all them lies. I told her some of the truth just mixed it around. Lies, my friend. oh know how did it go with her, is she alivle? Did she make it past her mom?
-------------
natalia
- Sunday, September 07, 2003 at 12:08:15 (PDT)


I don't know just tell me......what is one month from today?
-------------
Anonymous
- Sunday, September 07, 2003 at 06:55:22 (PDT)


omg my nipples hurt and I feel sick this morning
-------------
Anonymous
- Sunday, September 07, 2003 at 06:51:44 (PDT)


bye
-------------
Anonymous
- Saturday, September 06, 2003 at 22:03:43 (PDT)


you should know that my lack of talking to you has to do with no period....so my life will go on with 3 but not you just him, me, and a new one 8~)
-------------
Anonymous
- Saturday, September 06, 2003 at 06:55:19 (PDT)


Knots aren't ever really untied
you can always tell when something
was previously in knots.

stomachs

strings

or hearts.
-------------
Pins & Needles
- Friday, September 05, 2003 at 12:03:04 (PDT)


Johnny Hollywood stood up next to a mountain
and chopped it down with the edge of his hands
he never cheated on Ratchell
and he never killed anyone in his band

-------------
Anonymous
- Friday, September 05, 2003 at 08:40:46 (PDT)


Winner Winner Winner!!!



Jessica K.

Miss September 2003
-------------
Always
- Friday, September 05, 2003 at 08:38:18 (PDT)


I would be happy living in the inseam of his jeans

by the way...can I lick your sideburns?
-------------
Eve
- Tuesday, September 02, 2003 at 22:22:42 (PDT)


okay I think we got somethin...
-------------
Anonymous
- Tuesday, September 02, 2003 at 07:44:21 (PDT)


400 pound gay male looking for greasy action.

Little mizz fuck you, please kneel and take a bit of my yesterdays lunch.


-------------
Z
- Tuesday, September 02, 2003 at 06:55:16 (PDT)


never thought until now that cable
or cell is the source of your power
and if it is cable then it must be
quite a vision but if it is the cell
then your poor eyes. Please don't
feel as if you have to leave because
I have found out about you because you
don't and I will just pretend from here
on end that its not you and that you don't
care even though I know you do
-------------
Anonymous
- Monday, September 01, 2003 at 16:21:13 (PDT)


you have proven you are by stating that you are not
especially since you wouldn't travel that far for
even one night and so I just want you to know that
I am from from giving up. I may be living a life
you do not understand but when the time comes, you
will and that's when I will be found
-------------
Anonymous
- Monday, September 01, 2003 at 16:14:40 (PDT)


The catbox was playing at the theatre and so Murre called me up. On my machine was the following message: "Hey Johnny Hollywood whathca up to tonight" "Me and myself and I would like to invite you to come see catbox with us." "Call me when you get this message even if its after the time that I went and saw catbox on the big screen." After I listened to the message, I just shook my head and began to cry.
-------------
Anonymous
- Monday, September 01, 2003 at 16:02:00 (PDT)


It was a sunday night and all was quiet. The car was in the garage and the cat was outside for awhile. The only chore that was left to do was to do the dishes and put them away. Since it was getting close to eight o'clock I decided just to do them and finish them up in the morning before I headed out for the day. I ran the water until it was hot which at that time I plugged the sink and squirted the soap. Soon the sink was filled with bubbles that conveniently hid the dishes and so I decided then to let them soak. Before I knew it my favourite television show was on and so into the livingroom I went to sit down. What I couldn't believe though when I got there is that you were right there in a terry cloth bath robe changing the channel to little house on the praire. I knew then I would have to tape this episode if you were going to stay.
-------------
Anonymous
- Monday, September 01, 2003 at 15:52:22 (PDT)


"Here he comes everyone!" yelled the girl in the blue suit. Just then, a yellow car pulled up and out stepped Johnny Hollywood. "Good evening I am glad to be here in front of all you women". proclaimed Johnny as he walked through the scented catbox runway. "I will see all of you when I am on the catwalk modeling my new stuff!" shouted Johnny to the all female crowd. As Johnny opened the door, the crowd counted down from four out loud and then began shouting "Johnny we are going to miss you because you are going to be all alone on the catwalk in the catbox theatre tonight as none of us feel personally wanted from you...PAUSE...and so you should also know that we are not going to miss you because of your films...PAUSE...If you know what we mean." Then the crowd laughed as Johnny opened up the door to go inside the catbox but just then Johnny woke up .
-------------
Anonymous
- Monday, September 01, 2003 at 15:39:53 (PDT)


Messages come out from tragedies like 09/11/01
take for example the man who prayed for someone
to find him and then a flashlight appeared and
another man found him or what about the man who
instinctly knew to get into the fetal position
during the fire at the concert and because of
his efforts he survived.

the messages coming out of these tragedies is
that unseen but not unfelt forces are at work
all around us and help us to stay alive.
-------------
Anonymous
- Monday, September 01, 2003 at 09:33:08 (PDT)


A=bundance, B=lessing, C=alling, D=irection, E=nergy, F=ruit, G=ifts, H=oly, I=gnite, J=esus, K=ey L=ove, M=ormons, N=ews, O=pportunities, P=eace, Q=uasi, R=ecycle, S=tuff, T=okens, U=topia, V=ow, W=isdom, X=, Y=uletide, Z=en
-------------
Anonymous
- Monday, September 01, 2003 at 09:24:21 (PDT)


I am going to release you into the great outdoors
because that is what I have been instructed to do
only cause I never owned you you were just on loan
-------------
Anonymous
- Monday, September 01, 2003 at 09:11:43 (PDT)


The Egyptian Catbox
(Chapter four verse seven)
(First Reading - 4:16p.m.)

Johnny woke up from a bad series of nighmares that were keeping him down. "My Lord, I am confused about what it is that you want from me?" "Am I not suppose to want as many women as I currently do?" Johnny stopped midway in his next sentence and reflected on God's response. "Oh ok I will just sacrafice everything I have to be with the one and go into the desert, the jungle, and the mountains only with her" Johnny couldn't believe how easy that decision was so he decided to write down all the events that were coming to t own.

-------------
Anonymous
- Monday, September 01, 2003 at 09:01:40 (PDT)


"knock knock" "Who's there" Johnny shouted into the intercom. "Its Candy" she said, "and i am in town for a few days". Johnny paused as a smirk fell over his face. "Hey candy, this isn't a good time for me know, I have my mom here and well, you know the saying, Three's a crowd". Johnny didn't even let her speak and what rolled out his mouth was something only a freak would say. "Hey Candy, where ya checked in?" "Why don't you give me the information and later I'll check in with ya too". Just then, Sue came out of the shower and said without hesitation to Johnny, "hey there wanna come to the bedroom and watch me change?" Johnny knew then that he had been caught not only by Candy, but by God.
-------------
Anonymous
- Monday, September 01, 2003 at 08:46:07 (PDT)


When Johnny Hollywood woke up he looked around for his smokes so that he could have one when he found them. On his way to the bathroom he saw a pen and some paper so he stopped to relieve his mind of the following statement "the relationship of love and hate is about to consimate". After he wrote it, Johnny repeated it out loud. He knew it didn't sound right and carried on to the bathroom thinking "that was weird". Johnny Hollywood loved the bathroom and so he usually spent a lot of time in there but not today for he had smokes to find. Upon arriving in the living room Johnny was greeted by the voice of e playing on his answering machine. "What the devil is she doing in here" Johnny yelled into the phone even though he knew in the back of his mind that she could not hear him. "Now I really need a smoke!" "Oh smokes where are you?" Johnny sung throughout the house. "when i find you im gonna smoke you before I go near that catbox phone"
-------------
Anonymous
- Monday, September 01, 2003 at 08:28:48 (PDT)


Johnny Hollywood asked "Where can I find platform # 3?" The attendent just looked at him as if he (Johnny Hollywood) had three heads and never answered him.

The old lady sitting in the seat next the to information desk, leaned over and whispered to Johnny Hollywood "if you give me a kiss with your cat box lips, i'll tellya where platform # 3 is." Johnny Hollywood thought for a moment and then sat down. "Well old lady" said Johnny in his intrigued deep voice, "I will kiss you cause the moonbeam means so much to me!" "but don't think this is going anywhere cause I've got to many girls already in line for these catbox lips." "Oh no", the little old lady said. "What about the moonbeam - do you think she will care?" Johnny Hollywood stood right up and said "Just give me a fucking kiss and point me the way and I will meet my moonbeam and together we will walk down bay!"
-------------
Anonymous
- Monday, September 01, 2003 at 08:07:16 (PDT)


did i strike a nerve
because there is life
in the word?
-------------
Anonymous
- Monday, September 01, 2003 at 07:49:29 (PDT)


i will set the scene in the following lines
an open field with trees and tall grass
she etched out a place to sit with her ass
and waited for him to come out of the deep
and into her arms she thought he would sink
so she laid down her goose down blanket in
case that happened she would be ready for
the fun that would have begun had he have come
But one day he did arrive and so a fire was built
from the wood that was just lying around on the ground
and when that was done then there was the music that
needed to be played and so out of her napsack came the player and the speakers to boot. He took the sacred bag of energy and picked out the music for the night. she was so touched to know that he remembered her favourite music piece. The instruments danced around their ears and hypnotized them into an enigmatic groove that made the dance enter their hips To Be Con't










-------------
Anonymous
- Sunday, August 31, 2003 at 17:53:43 (PDT)


It's too bad you can't relate
I would have made a good mate
but we both know its too late
to make love in the deep wood
cause it would have been great
me escorting you down the lake
waiting for the moment to take
you to the centre of sensation
through my ability to concentate
while doing this not feeling hate
because we both know this is our fate

-------------
Anonymous
- Sunday, August 31, 2003 at 17:38:04 (PDT)


i hope its coffee and not alcohol because you know I don't drink
-------------
Anonymous
- Sunday, August 31, 2003 at 16:36:20 (PDT)


let's get a drink

without you I am nothing
you were my better half,
until you left...
now what remains has been reduced to
the truth.
I know tonight my best friend will be
a cold drink.
this is a part of life,
hardening my heart,
pretty soon
I won't feel anything,
I hope so, at least...

-------------
anonymous
- Sunday, August 31, 2003 at 14:03:58 (PDT)


you seem to know your way around my mind
even though you personally have never been
at most, I have brought you in through thought
and now you won't leave. Leeanna eva meagun baloney
I know what you are up to and it won't succeed because
its being driven by a phoney so let go of my mind
from where you are and then go out and find another success for this one has been accomplished and there is nothing else left so don't worry you won't be leaving anything b ehind










-------------
Anonymous
- Sunday, August 31, 2003 at 11:48:22 (PDT)


rebuild and start again
for that is the only way
anyone ever wins in life
take a bath in the creek
soak for days you decide
but in the middle of the
forest there is a place
where all of this belongs
but not because we will it
for even if we did we are
still not as strong as the
one who put the magic there
for us yes you and i to feel
whenever we wake up and realize
we are the chosen people
-------------
Anonymous
- Sunday, August 31, 2003 at 11:41:19 (PDT)


Turn to the left if you are standing straight ahead towards the sunset but if you are kneeling in front overlooking the bay then you must go the other way
to avoid

the bombs fly over Iraq and into the buildings killing millions

whateve you do though when he doesn't show just don't be bold and scold or appear cold the next time you are in his neighbourhood because what he did was for your own good
-------------
Anonymous
- Sunday, August 31, 2003 at 11:32:09 (PDT)


now that we are getting serious there's something i think you should know. First confirm to me we are
in fact serious because if we are not then i must tell my friends at once for i have been calling you my girlfriend in front of them. Okay well what I need to tell you is that i am sane and have been since birth. The doctor's don't know why my brain made me sane instead of the alternative. I have to take medication so that I can relate to the rest of the insane world. Are you okay with that considering you don't come from my wor ld?














-------------
Anonymous
- Sunday, August 31, 2003 at 11:24:34 (PDT)


Of course I don't believe in One
unless its those two and me which
in reality make three but in fantasy
are a singular unit not now though
but maybe some day

Everywhere I go I cannot do things
in singular and in fact I do them
in the plenty and then that way I
don't run the risk of loneliness
There were too many similarities
and so I attached them and made a
quilt for me to suggle when times
got tough but the time has come
where this blanket has come undone
and can no longer be sown together
for it is literally in shreds and
ready for the garbage. Therefore
everything that I have ever done
I have done in more ways then one
and by me throwing away the patches
means a new life has begun and now
I will clean up and wait for the
time when all three of us get along
and we can come together and consamate
as one
-------------
Anonymous
- Sunday, August 31, 2003 at 07:59:18 (PDT)


Yes go ahead and depleat the Earth's magnetic energy
located at the core of the Earth. That way when it's all gone, and we are spinning out of control we will no longer have to wonder why we killed the planet...get a grip numb Skull!...get off the fr eezing/anasteezia
-------------
Anonymous
- Sunday, August 31, 2003 at 07:48:38 (PDT)


Yes I have the bunny inside
I am loaded and ready to go
nothing could stop my level
for I am above them all now
I even see you living alone
as I turn on my mind which
is the movie theater where
my thoughts become the film
tonight I think its playing
the m & m & double trouble
flic & I've reserved front
seat. I would invite you
but you are in the film so
you will be busy performing
in your own show I created
good luck and see yah lata
-------------
Anonymous
- Sunday, August 31, 2003 at 07:41:57 (PDT)


the waterfall

I want to take you to a place that cannot be described for it just has to be seen by the individual eye. Once we get there you might want to pay attention to the the fast running water. If we leave today which is Monday we should make it there by Sunday. On our way we will not see much because we will be traveling faster then the speed of light. All you need to do is just buckle yourself in and sit quietly. Here is a copy of the periodical table for you to read while I drive us there. Please don't weigh your options just make a decision on our way back about whether you're still into this type of quick travel. Okay, we are here and it is sunday just as I had expected. Straight ahead is what we are here to see so come with me as I lead the way. Ahh there it is hey wait what's going on? I ask this because there is no flow and the water is moving slow which is not normal for a waterfall and the volcano is active; now this is weird! Its like all are keeping low except for the lava which is burning my toe and that explains why there is hardly no water for I am being punished by not being able to stop this place and I was not suppose let you know about this place but yet I brought you here a long time ago. We must go if we want to survive and now back to the current that brought us here and remember the same is true for our trip home you sit quietly until you have made up your mind about us this time. I will drive and you will once again look over the table and focus on what you see and hopefully you will notice you and me
-------------
Anonymous
- Sunday, August 31, 2003 at 07:32:10 (PDT)


slowly becoming sensitive

do onto others as you would have done onto you
lose youself and youll be a person of kindness
I have been called to do something for mankind
open up your heart to others in the name of me
fill my soul with the energy you have in yours
refuse me in the name of tough love to help me

-------------
Anonymous
- Sunday, August 31, 2003 at 07:00:45 (PDT)


rest assured all is fine
just need to work on
making sure the alcohol
is gone if not then
that's when I'll be
moving on T O you
-------------
Anonymous
- Saturday, August 30, 2003 at 12:50:11 (PDT)


it sounds like i have refused
when in fact i have received
I just need more time to release
before into a family I regrow

-------------
Anonymous
- Saturday, August 30, 2003 at 12:38:17 (PDT)


I was delivered from temptation
but had to sit in damnation
until I could let go
of a sinking world with
no chance of recovery
because the world itself
knows it doesn't exist
it is just imagined
up until now
-------------
Anonymous
- Saturday, August 30, 2003 at 12:32:55 (PDT)


I will walk in passion
always and forever with
you I will never give up
I know now what to do
I will carry the spark
so my heart is never dark
and we will know this forever
I will be your friend and
respect your personal space
so never should you smuther
nor should i

-------------
Anonymous
- Saturday, August 30, 2003 at 11:31:47 (PDT)


I tried to last night
but he never chose me
he let me depart from
his heart and took the
key into the sea down low
-------------
Anonymous
- Saturday, August 30, 2003 at 11:24:38 (PDT)


I tried to last night
but you never chose me
you let me depart from
your heart and took the
key into the sea down low
-------------
Anonymous
- Saturday, August 30, 2003 at 11:12:25 (PDT)


cook the bacon
and closed the
windows so the
aroma could be
inside for now
scrambl an egg
and burn the
toast but
flavr with jam
right away mam
but leave out
the ham chunks
I will see
enuff of them.
tonight after.
the hag stag

-------------
Anonymous
- Saturday, August 30, 2003 at 11:08:26 (PDT)


make love to me
-------------
Anonymous
- Saturday, August 30, 2003 at 11:00:24 (PDT)


electrical current racing through the calm lit up evening sky and it is only you and I who bear witness
to this lovely event but only if we try to take the
test of true and tried and always remains tender and
the same so I say thak god for Kentucy Fried Chicken
-------------
Anonymous
- Saturday, August 30, 2003 at 10:57:33 (PDT)


Call it what you want
but I think its wacked
considering it is empty
but yet it has a strong
hold over what it wants
but fails to realize i
am not for sale

your's truely
your house
-------------
Anonymous
- Saturday, August 30, 2003 at 10:53:10 (PDT)




what causes the drainage of energy
out of a fridge magnet so that it
falls to the floor but will stick
to the door of my heart even though
there is nothing giving it suppo rt
-------------
Anonymous
- Saturday, August 30, 2003 at 10:49:54 (PDT)


not one is interested
in what you said
accept for me
because it is
I who can see
your need to
be free
from my bed
and your head


Did you feel me departing
I tried not to make a mess
but some of it got damaged
so that part may not start
I caped all the live wires
so now my antenna shouldnt
pick up your heart's beat.


My love is for a hologram
i created ten years ago
i modeled it after him
so I could love this man
without being told no
I wrote and then I sautered
until all was ready to load
I inserted and played around
for such a time that was short
and of course now I understand
why in fantasy I was still
turned down and it is because
in reality I am going about
it in the wrong way

I cannot believe you expect me to believe
that everything I think do or say is having
an impact on some other planet so far way
so much so that it has knocked me into
another dimension on earth I must now leave







-------------
Anonymous
- Saturday, August 30, 2003 at 10:43:52 (PDT)


The cross threaded lesbian mafia is making you do this
are'nt they?
-------------
Anonymous
- Saturday, August 30, 2003 at 10:36:44 (PDT)


three can play this game
come on it will be fun
trying to outwit one
another with the tongue
-------------
Anonymous
- Saturday, August 30, 2003 at 09:52:52 (PDT)


I am in a room full of people
but only I can talk because
I have frozen them in time
so that I could buy some
before the show starts
I prepare myself
before going into
the round steeple

-------------
Anonymous
- Saturday, August 30, 2003 at 09:51:24 (PDT)


To warnout for you
but just right for me
i possess no apathy
for i am in love
with all that can be
care to have some tea
don't mind the willows
or the weeds but if
the wind picks up us
two should leave
-------------
Anonymous
- Saturday, August 30, 2003 at 09:46:26 (PDT)


let go of the reel
peel back the layers
I gotta get real
get back to the feel
nomore it will steal
for I am made of steel
and that is a deal
I am going to heal
whatcha mean where's
my wheels
at least I was able
to eat a meal
before departin g
keele
-------------
Anonymous
- Saturday, August 30, 2003 at 09:36:18 (PDT)


alright I will
since you insist
we will have bliss
just stand still


Did you know that I wanted
to spend eternity with myself
that is until I met you

I feared it was splitting soI
didn;t even try this time
knowing you would say goodbye

that's not what I wanted but
that is what I got now I'm
on many types of medication

Man I can't understand this
chick who wants my dink I
think but maybe I am wrong

double income no kids sounds
more like it even though
others won't see it fit

I want to be a trucker
so that you will watch
for me everytime one
passes by
-------------
Anonymous
- Saturday, August 30, 2003 at 01:22:10 (PDT)


hugo
-------------
Anonymous
- Saturday, August 30, 2003 at 01:11:21 (PDT)


your right I have belittled love making
right down to sentational energy
and I guess I should conserve before
I have a blackout
but the truth of the matter is I've
only been sleeping with me and himself
and lately I have been really enjoying
myself which is great I am no longer
a man's slave as I can do it and do
it so well had to say farewell
-------------
Anonymous
- Saturday, August 30, 2003 at 01:07:59 (PDT)


u go
-------------
Anonymous
- Saturday, August 30, 2003 at 00:52:08 (PDT)


your right I have belittled love making
right down to sentational energy
and I guess I should conserve before
I have a blackout
but the truth of the matter is I've
only been sleeping with me and himself
and lately I have been really enjoying
myself which is great I am no longer
a man's slave as I can do it and do
it so well had to say farewell
-------------
Anonymous
- Saturday, August 30, 2003 at 00:48:53 (PDT)


hate? what are you talking about
we do not hate
-------------
Anonymous
- Saturday, August 30, 2003 at 00:46:21 (PDT)


yes it does its but its beyond anything you could ever handle as far as attaching passion intimaticy and e motions to an equation that don't make no sense for two people who love to hate each other oh my the negativity
-------------
Anonymous
- Saturday, August 30, 2003 at 00:31:23 (PDT)


Everything Everything a fly a grain of sand a flower a racoon and a human

I just realized
planet earth is
alive

I wanted to make
a fool out of my
self so that it
would be ezer to
remove the hook
of you that is
stuck inside my
head
No longer will
you be around
for everything
has been banished
due to the fire
All I need to know
is that today was
on myside by protecting
me from what is not God's will
-------------
Anonymous
- Saturday, August 30, 2003 at 00:20:59 (PDT)


Its my heart your breaking
-------------
Anonymous
- Saturday, August 30, 2003 at 00:12:16 (PDT)


I could kiss you until my lips fall off
stare myself blind at you
hold you until I dissapear

into the roar of your hair's ocean
the rivers of your fingertips
the sun of your skin
the stars in your heart
the rain in your eyes

no dissapointment here


-------------
it's good to be in love
- Saturday, August 30, 2003 at 00:10:45 (PDT)


Dear God help us be poetic
-------------
Anonymous
- Friday, August 29, 2003 at 18:51:22 (PDT)


my eyes close and I know it is you in my mind
making me alive
I realize your love will be mine
for all ti me
mine
-------------
Anonymous
- Friday, August 29, 2003 at 15:34:50 (PDT)


If I never hold your heart close to mine
I might as well...right now die
If I never taste your love
I will find I can love..no one

-------------
Anonymous
- Friday, August 29, 2003 at 15:33:07 (PDT)


the kindness I traded you for a smile
the eyes that hide your love haunt mine
the window to the soul
easy to find
when you think about me and how I have tried

To get thru to you
your heart sometimes is mine
I made it that way

-------------
Anonymous
- Friday, August 29, 2003 at 15:02:36 (PDT)


if you can find the answer
moving siliently without your soul bieng lost
then you have a vow that would never be broken
worth the cost
if you feel anything
when the dice are your heart bieng tossed
-------------
....
- Friday, August 29, 2003 at 13:47:46 (PDT)


barb wire puppet strings



masked decision
choose freedom


mo tion
-------------
.
- Friday, August 29, 2003 at 13:42:26 (PDT)


when the distance is greater than
the power of the vision I have of you
the dream the angels bring to me
in lies they tell me I am free
to love
while chained to your broken heart
-------------
Anonymous
- Friday, August 29, 2003 at 13:38:59 (PDT)


its only your love
that keeps me looking for your soul
its my heart that beats your name
-------------
...
- Friday, August 29, 2003 at 13:28:39 (PDT)


I know I have thrown love away
a thousand times

On this page your heart I hold
in your heart a love song
with never dying notes

Meaning we bring ourselves to collect
sense to be made of this
My love to yours

It is as simple as it gets
-------------
....
- Friday, August 29, 2003 at 13:16:15 (PDT)


I can see you are meant to bleed into my heart
and taste my smile
thirst
is this your lie called love
-------------
..,
- Friday, August 29, 2003 at 13:12:28 (PDT)


I know you are the only real answer
I know you are my only thought
I see the cards are dealt
I see the dice being tossed
-------------
.... . .
- Friday, August 29, 2003 at 13:09:14 (PDT)


I love you so much
you're why I wake each day of my life
why are you not
the every thing
-------------
.
- Friday, August 29, 2003 at 13:07:28 (PDT)


............ ..... . . ..... . ... . .. .. ..
....... .. ........ .... ... . .. . . . .. . . .. .. . . . . . . . . ... .. ... ...... .
-------------
.. . .... .. . .. .. . . .. . . . . . . . . . . . .. ........ .
- Friday, August 29, 2003 at 09:55:21 (PDT)


taste it
-------------
Anonymous
- Friday, August 29, 2003 at 02:14:31 (PDT)


sleep pushes you back
the feeling between your thighs
your saliva

making love by the graveyard
in the best of weathers
rain washing the color off my dress
I'm out of here
and into you
turn off the lights
-------------
Anonymous
- Thursday, August 28, 2003 at 21:21:25 (PDT)


God bless me
as I see my
way out of
this and in
to you
-------------
Anonymous
- Thursday, August 28, 2003 at 20:22:20 (PDT)


turn that off its way to loud
instead please bow down
and acknowledge me now
for I am your saviour
will you take the vow
-------------
Anonymous
- Thursday, August 28, 2003 at 20:20:18 (PDT)


from this moment forward
I must follow the book
but I won't forget you
not even if I could
-------------
Anonymous
- Thursday, August 28, 2003 at 20:15:55 (PDT)


I wish when I snapped my fingers
you would instantly appear
that way I could make
the desire buring in
my loins go away
-------------
Anonymous
- Thursday, August 28, 2003 at 20:01:51 (PDT)


As I look into the eyes of the fly on my pie I can see my guy and I ask God why when I am high I am prone to thinking its okay to lie and try to cheat your way through life until you die
-------------
Anonymous
- Thursday, August 28, 2003 at 19:58:36 (PDT)


Cried

it was not the perfect plan
but it would have to do
if casual is who you are
but because you are not
on the same glue as I
you will not see this
in the same way as
my eyes for if you did
you would know I have
-------------
Anonymous
- Thursday, August 28, 2003 at 19:53:12 (PDT)


may solice be found
as you roam the ground
always look up
try not to look down
even on people
cause it will
make them frown
and never bound
anyone to you
unless you're
prepared to
stand beside
and take the
hand of one
in a wedding
gow n
-------------
Anonymous
- Thursday, August 28, 2003 at 19:49:01 (PDT)


Loyal as a samuri


There's a look in your eyes
that only you can call your own
earlier I was mesmarized
by the dial tone
but to my surprize
I was greeted by lies
once again on the phone


what consumes your thoughts
do you really pay attention
or do you dare to mention
for fear there is hope
that joy is very real
which makes you feel
like you can cope
I understand
what's been
taught

-------------
Anonymous
- Thursday, August 28, 2003 at 19:44:41 (PDT)


You're the Good Things
-------------
Anonymous
- Thursday, August 28, 2003 at 15:26:23 (PDT)


"The Adventures Of Johnny Francis Nicolas Hollywood"
-------------
...,......
- Thursday, August 28, 2003 at 13:34:19 (PDT)


Johnny Hollywood believed if there was a God she would help him and Olivia get to the nicest hospital around in time for the twins to be born.

"Johnny,your driving a hundred and thirty-six miles an hour,on the shoulder" She bitched at him.

He could see the sun shining in his eyes,
he could see Bertha on a tractor blocking the traffic,
he could see an angel with blonde hair looking down from heaven and he could see sodbuster way up in front of all the cars weaving so as Bertha could not get past him.

"Would you look at that? They're up there playing "Tractor Chicken" while your having my babies, Well you had to hatch 'em
at Lake Forest Hospital,Honey cakes" Johnny rambled.

"Embark on my left nut" Johnny told the nice Officer after wards.
-------------
..........
- Thursday, August 28, 2003 at 13:28:08 (PDT)


Johnny Hollywood was a fucking mess
He really missed Bertha Mae
and needed her in his life now more than ever

"I need Bertha in my life" he carved into the back of the beautiful blood red nineteen sixty two Gibson S.G. guitar.
-------------
....
- Thursday, August 28, 2003 at 13:15:33 (PDT)


The shit hit the fan when that bastard from fed ex that can not drive at all,what so ever
drove thru the yard to deliver the cases of extra long
stockings Gail had sent to Johnny's crib
Honey Babe opened the shit even though she knew the mailage was addressed to Johnny's doctor.
"Whats this shit,Johnny?" She asked impaiently

"Oh UH Gails going to be staying with us for a while,til' we work out her disorder"
Johnny said kinda uneasy

"Fuck that" said Johnny's new bride "I'm outta here"
"It's annulment time,First you watch that worn out VHS tape of "Twister" until all hours of the night and now some dumb bitch is moving in"
Upon her exit
"Johnny broke into some Alvin Lee
"Baby please don't go" would be thier loves
"national anthem".

Johnny did'nt have kids
but if Johnny Hollywood did have kids
He knew it would be a good time to start looking for the "kids" a new mom right about now.
Either that or he would lie about whether or not he had offspring or abortions.He did'nt know
He did'nt care.They still needed a new Mom whether they existed or not,even if they were hamsters.

Thus the search began....
He looked out front and seen Harpo hard at work landscaping and said "Hell No"

Gail pulled her Beamer in behind Olivia's limo blocking her from leaving and got out of the car carring a box of the old sixtys game "Twister".

"Would you like to start the session by playing a game of "Twister" and ripping my stockings off me on the plastic floor covering with all the nice colorful circles of meaning,Johnny?" Asked Gail ever so sweetly.
-------------
......
- Thursday, August 28, 2003 at 13:08:10 (PDT)


"and do you hear "Your fans" talking to you when you pratice your songs Johnny?" Said Johnny's brain Doctor too tall "Gail"

"I guess your right,Gail I am imagining people listening to my music its not really happening,But what about in the subway those people were really close to me when they walked by,did I imagine two thousand people there too?"Johnny Asked

"I think so Johnny,now did you wanna talk a little about the lighthouse paintings I have on my wall?"
asked Gail nicely

"Oh yes,the painter of light right Gail?"
Johnny asked knowingly

"That's right Johnny" Gail stated happlily
"Now Johnny,did you want to talk about ripping the stockings off a women,while we still have a few minutes?"

Johnny knew his Doctor had some real issues
but never thought it was this bad

"Uhh Yeah Gail,would you like to talk a little bit about ripping stockings off ladies?"

"WHAT THE FUCK?" Johnny thought

Just then the director of pschycology knocked at the door "Gail your way into overtime here we need this room for our meeting" he said quickly

"You wanna like finish this chat somewhere else than gail? Johnny asked unwantingly
and the next thing you know the were at the desk of the hoilday inn here the nice old lady said
"Hi johnny,no swimming with your phillipino today?"

"No this is a different project" Johnny told her as he handed her the sweet doctors card
ten minutes later Johnny Hollywood had about all of Gail he could take.

"Look your not the director here,How many times do I got to rip these stupid stockings off you,you sick bitch?"Johnny said in anger

"Come on Johnny,I'm almost done" Gail pleaded

"Look I'm willing to go to consoling with you"
Johnny told the sweet brain doctor
who was a little to tall,"And not worth the climb"
Johnny said to himself.

The next three weeks Johnny's session with gail mostly focused on paintings of light houses and why she thought they looked like a penis.
"How is that going to save me"? she asked Johnny all the time.

"I don't know that it will or cure you for that matter"
Johnnys doctor was getting stranger with each day
they were up to three nights a week of stocking pulling
and the office visit was shortened to forty five minutes.

It was almost as if she did'nt believe Johnny saw people when he played his music
and he knew they were there.

Johnny was really puzzled by all of this craziness with Gail,She was looney tunes alright
but not once did she say she hated her mother of tell him of malestation stories from her childhood like every other nut case he went out with

-------------
......
- Thursday, August 28, 2003 at 11:28:22 (PDT)


I can't wait to give you the "Eskimo kiss"
-------------
Anonymous
- Thursday, August 28, 2003 at 10:34:17 (PDT)


"I only have time for another drink and a lap dance" Johnny Hollywood explained to the ladies at the fashion show.
"I'm driving one of my slower camaros today,The ghost of Bertha had burnt my corvettes.

Just as Johnny had turned to leave everyone started singing his Birthday song.

"I really gotta go guys "Olivia" is in the car waiting and she's in labor with my twins" Johnny Hollywood said to noone.

Eight people rolled a cake in and Gracie tried to jump out of the cake as a big surprise,but as fate would have it,All those blow jobs gracie gave the sailors at the bar a block from the military base took its toll
Gracie could'nt get out of the cake with eleven people pulling and tugging on her.
"You swallowed all those years did'nt you Gracie?"
Someone from the crowd asked.

When the fire department finaly got there they had to cut the cake open with a torch and found out Gracie had bags of popcorn duct taped to her legs and arms.

"You don't love me,leave me sit outside this dive bar" said Honey Pie as Johnny got into one of the slower Camaros he owned."I'll get you there snookums don't you fret,You say you want a dove bar?"
Down the road he raced until he got right behind Sodbuster's two mile line of backed up traffic

"There outta be a law against tractors in the fast lane" Johnny told Honey Pie

"Hurry Johnny,My water broke" said Honey pie
-------------
.....
- Thursday, August 28, 2003 at 09:50:15 (PDT)


I spread him on my toast from time to time
-------------
Anonymous
- Thursday, August 28, 2003 at 08:57:59 (PDT)


Johnny Hollywoods new marriage was'nt going to well
He got busted watching "Twister" in the attic again
and then the mail order bride arrived unshaven,
shure Johnny expected the sweet russian to look like she just fell out of a time machine from nineteen seventy but this bitch looked like Harpo Marx.

"What are you going to snort off her ass Johnny? asked Honeypie

"My bus ticket" He re plied
-------------
..,./..,.,.,,,,,,,,,,
- Wednesday, August 27, 2003 at 22:46:48 (PDT)


I can not wait until our hearts are together
-------------
^
- Wednesday, August 27, 2003 at 21:48:54 (PDT)


"Bertha Mae you all look like a bag lady meets the chacter steve martin played in that movie the jerk"
said the county sherriff as he escorted Bertha away from Johnnys crib.

"HA HAHA The cross threaded Lesbian Mafia had me put tiny camaras all over your house Johnny Hollywood"
laughed Bertha as she drug her shopping bags down the sidewalk

"To the curb biotch!!! Johnny Shouted
as he turned to Honey pie he said
"I knew they had an inside man,
it all makes sense now,
I bet they know about Natalie too, Hmmm, but not Ellen,thats a good thing"
-------------
...,.,,,,.,.,
- Wednesday, August 27, 2003 at 19:56:58 (PDT)


Bertha Mae told honey pie the amount of Bertha meds to put in Johnnys drink to prevent him from Thinking about Jessica
"If you don't dose him with this shit his mind will roam free and he will think about Jessica
you don't wanna kill him,well not at first anyway so dont do any more than double dose him if your startin' to wonder" Bertha laughed as she spo ke.
-------------
...
- Wednesday, August 27, 2003 at 19:49:02 (PDT)


its pretty bad when retarded people make fun of crazy people
-------------
Anonymous
- Wednesday, August 27, 2003 at 19:32:01 (PDT)


Johnny Hollywood took the Bertha MEDICINE
like he was supposed to and played "the itsie bitsie spyder" solo all night long"
-------------
...
- Wednesday, August 27, 2003 at 19:30:54 (PDT)


Bertha mae was digging thru the fridge at two in the morning and she found the half keg Johnny Hollywood had just filled that evening then she went upstairs to johnnys and honeypies honeymoon suite drew her forty five and kicked the door in."You been milking mesikins again have'nt you Johnny?" Bertha questioned

"What do I gotta do,get a restraining order on you?
I already divorced you, Just leave" Said a very sleepy Johnny Hollywood "I don't even know why shes here"

"What about Gretchen Johnny,Whys she here?" asked the honeyiest of all the pies

"Shes the upstairs maid remember?"
-------------
........................................,.......
- Wednesday, August 27, 2003 at 19:24:17 (PDT)


kiss me
HARD
-------------
Anonymous
- Wednesday, August 27, 2003 at 18:56:56 (PDT)


Too bad you can't fucking spell
-------------
Too bad you can't fucking spell
- Wednesday, August 27, 2003 at 18:56:32 (PDT)


"Bertha musta told you a lotta new ways to tourture me?" Johnny asked his beautiful blonde bride as he drove into the night

there was a suspicous black sedan following them and he knew it wasnt Bertha private investagator
he could spot that guy a mile away.
at the stop light he could see it was the Cross Threaded Lesbian Mafia but not the regular bunch
this was a special Cross Threaded Lesbian Mafia Hit Squad sent especially for Johnny
he knew these ladies wernt fucking around
they were wearing black leather tarps and dark shades
and they was'nt built for sex.

"A death squad?" Honeypie asked

Johnny knew he had to hide
his love from the killer lesbians
thier offensive team was more than offensiv e.
-------------
..,.
- Wednesday, August 27, 2003 at 15:19:40 (PDT)


Johnny Hollywood was in the woodshed for two days praticing the "Itsie Bitsie Spyder Solos"
when he came back to the beach house he was sorry he ever left the woodshed

Bertha Mae and his New wife "Honey Pie" were best of friends and partying together
"This can't be good" thought Johnny

What was you doing in the old wood shed for two days Johnny? Doing that little gook bitch on yer Gibson again" Bertha Said accusingly

"I was helping Gretchen fix her tie,You yoko wanna be tardfuck" Replied Johnny Hollywood
as he wiped the dust off the old cross bow
-------------
.
- Wednesday, August 27, 2003 at 15:09:34 (PDT)


Gretchen made her special Baked Speggitti
and was carring it in a picnic basket across the beach
"Hey Johnny Hollywood,You remaking baywatch?" she asked
"You must got magic candles?" he asked Gretchen as he ate the speggitti with great bud baked inside.

"You can call it the Johnny Hollywood Speggitti Western,as long as you stay away from the little asian princess" Gretchen teased

"What does that mean?" asked a more confussed Johnny Hollywood

"You don't seem the same since the Bertha frying pan scene,Johnny" Gretchen said sadly

It was true Johnny Hollywood could no longer think of three bleach blondes and a red head at the same time
Bertha or Becky or who ever the hell she was today had done some perment damage to Johnny Hollywoods brain and navagational system and was intitled to a very large settlement.

"But Bertha ain't got nothing litigation wise"
Boxcar Jesus said

"All that girl gots is her looks,Johnny how you going to sue her for that? and you already got the babe from swiss miss bringing you chickens and speggitti weed. Some people is never happy in life" Box Car Jesus said with a tear in his eye.
-------------
... ...
- Wednesday, August 27, 2003 at 14:46:14 (PDT)


Johnny Hollywood woke up in the parking lot of denny's
underneath an Orange nineteen seventy one AMC Gremlin.

"Why what in the dog is ya all doin' underneath thar Johnny?" asked Box Car Jesus

"Man,fuck you,all you do is anaylize everything 'bout me and what the fuck are you Box Car Jesus? What the hell is that? your some hillbilly and The real jesus was a black jew or some shit" Johnny Hollywood complained.

"The wars over Johnny,I am Jesus" Said Box Car Jesus

"How 'bout we call you hey zuess" Said Hollywood

"Both of you stop it,Its time for your medicene John boy" Said Bertha much to sweetly looking a lot like a car hop.

"Yeah take your meds,Goodnight John boy" Said Box Car Jesus

"I knew it!!! I knew you were not Bertha when the vampire scars were gone off your neck" Johnny said as he pulled Berthas sock down and could see the vampire scars he put on sister Becky's ankle in the late seventys. "You are Becky!
What have you done with Ber tha?"
-------------
................
- Wednesday, August 27, 2003 at 14:05:27 (PDT)


Johnny Hollywood tried to figure this little puzzle out,The better looking the woman he brought to "The Olive Garden Restraunt" the less time he would have to wait for a table is all he was getting out of this.
He did not have to wait for a table at all this time.
He was deeply confused as he gazed into Olivia's eyes
"May I call you Honeypie?" he asked The very warm Goddess.
-------------
... .... .. . . .. .
- Wednesday, August 27, 2003 at 13:51:48 (PDT)


I want you now more than ever
going to make you my endeavour
once I catch you we ain't never
going to sever what we have together
call me tonight regardless of the weather
-------------
Anonymous
- Wednesday, August 27, 2003 at 12:06:56 (PDT)


Johnny Hollywood had no stunt double
he wanted to play every part
"Thats what acting is" he told the asian model who clipped his nose hairs before the shot.

Johnny Hollywood had caught a brain damage disfunction
"This scene is starting to hurt" Johnny said of the
Bertha smacks him in the head with the frying pan act.
after fifteen times it seemed as if Johnny no longer wanted to carry Olivia over the thresh hold another time this afternoon.

Johnny Hollywood had dug most of the props out of the garbage to save money and that was no break away cast iron skillet Bertha Mae was swinging.
-------------
............ .
- Wednesday, August 27, 2003 at 11:46:10 (PDT)


I know you know its me
you know I know its you
are you busy doing tattoos
or can I come visit you?
-------------
Anonymous
- Wednesday, August 27, 2003 at 10:39:02 (PDT)


Johnny woke up with his head on the bar
the nasty stripper already took any money he had
on the bar and tried not to dance on his hands much

"What the hell was ya all thinking thare, Johnny?"
Don't

"Well ya all knowed it was august right? and red heads was in season so I thought I was marrying up with Gretchen from the swiss miss commercials and when it was all said and done I got a blonde outta the deal
THANK YOU GOD" Johnny continued praying
-------------
................................
- Wednesday, August 27, 2003 at 09:49:41 (PDT)


Box Car Jesus shook his head and scratched
over and over
"That dont make no kinda sense Johnny, How could ya be done with blondes if Bertha Mae was a honey blonde and how could you not knowed it was Becky when Becky gots white hair,and now you done run off and Married Olivia
whos a darn cute blonde but you already paid for the tattoo of Jessica to be done tonight. I think your as crazy as your first two wives put together,Johnny and there ain't no medicene to help it"

"Don't worry about it" said Johnny "All's I gotta do is quit all this rock star bizness and get a regular job and take care of her and she'll cook"

"Is you still gonna take your little oriental girl friend out shopping today Johnny?" said Box Car Jesus

"What the hell are you my account? Hell no ,you gotta hide me" said Johnny Hollywood.
-------------
....
- Wednesday, August 27, 2003 at 09:43:45 (PDT)


Johnny Hollywood waited by the window for two days
looking for his sweet fiancee to show
he paced the floors and day dreamed about her.
-------------
....
- Wednesday, August 27, 2003 at 09:20:41 (PDT)


Johnny Hollywood spent eight long weeks in the twelve step program boot camp for bleach blonde addiction
he was completely cured.
Upon his release he went out to celebrate and at four in the morning he was trying to sneak past the high tech security system into the living room.
SSSSshhhhhhsssss-ing Olivia the whole way calling her Gretchen.

Bertha smacked Johnny Hollywood in the head with a cast iron skillet
"I thought you were done with the blondes you rat!"
Said the now very angry Bertha

"I am,Gretchen is a red head" Johnny Explained

"I wish I never married you Johnny" Cried Olivia

"HAHA we done got alloped" Johnny told Bertha Mae

Just then Johnny noticed the bite mark he had put on Bertha's neck when they was kids was gone
"Your not Bertha" He said "your Becky,her sister"
and She was,what had happened to Bertha?
-------------
..
- Wednesday, August 27, 2003 at 09:18:39 (PDT)


2nite

please reach out to me tonight
as I have some news of delight
I am coming your way soon but
not until Friday night
so alone I am to night
-------------
Anonymous
- Wednesday, August 27, 2003 at 08:55:14 (PDT)


in deaths face I smile
-------------
Anonymous
- Wednesday, August 27, 2003 at 07:43:14 (PDT)


I love you so much and I miss you so bad
your the best girl I never had
-------------
Anonymous
- Tuesday, August 26, 2003 at 22:09:15 (PDT)


After Johnny Hollywood took the Bertha medicene he easyily got drunk off his ass and bought a directors chair from the dollar store.

He had to get this shot right.
He had priscilla presley and connie stevens
stick thier wrinkled asses together
so Johnny could snort one continuos line of cocaine off them both. "That has never even been attempted before on film,You are a true film pioneer Johnny" Said his sweet little oriental girl friend
as they got to friendly.

"It's not going to be a problem" He bragged
"I praticed snorting grits off the three humoungous asses of the dixie chicks for weeks ahead of time to prepare for this stun t"
-------------
..
- Tuesday, August 26, 2003 at 22:08:01 (PDT)


Losing the checkers game against the Cross Threaded Lesbian Mafia was a major devastation to Johnny Hollywood.He knew he had to beat them at something
other than losing.
-------------
=======+/
- Tuesday, August 26, 2003 at 19:01:06 (PDT)


Johnny Hollywood was in great shape for todays tournament against The Cross Threaded Lesbian Mafia
he had praticed moving the checkers sideways as quickly as he could for weeks,he stayed up all night praticing the jumpshots and kinging,there was no way the bulldykes were going to win this one.Nope
-------------
...=+
- Tuesday, August 26, 2003 at 18:57:45 (PDT)



Johnny Hollywood bought six nice Japenese women off ebay and sent them back because they would'nt plaY the electric violin.
-------------
....=+
- Tuesday, August 26, 2003 at 18:52:05 (PDT)


test
-------------
Anonymous
- Tuesday, August 26, 2003 at 17:36:45 (PDT)


Bertha Mae made Johnny Hollywoods armour out of cat boxes and sent him out on horseback to battle
The wicked knight of death that would represent the Cross Threaded Lesbian Mafia in a challenge to the death. "Don't embaress yourself Johnny" Bertha said as he signed her new insurance policy she took out on him.
-------------
..+_
- Tuesday, August 26, 2003 at 15:18:25 (PDT)


Johnny Hollywood had been hit but luckly Gretchen was wearing her bullet proof turtle neck sweater as they ran down the mountain to escape the wrath of the evil Bertha who had been brain washed by the cross threaded lesbian mafia.Gretchen was spilling cocca everywhere.

The cross threaded lesbian mafia unions helicopter was just to fast for them,Johnny Hollywood knew his time had come and he wanted to die in Gretchens arms if he had to go.
-------------
..
- Tuesday, August 26, 2003 at 15:09:58 (PDT)


Johnny Hollywood hog tied Gretchen
and put her in the trunk
and drove the limo up the mountains
to a little shed the una bomber hid out in
before he got caught.
once there Johnny showed Gretchen
the honey moon suite and where the out house was
and he threw her shoes down the hill and said I want you
bare foot Gretchen
so as you can't run off from me and my undying love

just then Bertha passed over
in the Cross Threaded Lesbian Mafia Union's Helicopter
and had Johnny and Gretchen in the cross hairs

"Step away from the Red headed devil girl"
Bertha said over the P.A. as she lined up
the laser beam on Johnnys heart.
-------------
.........
- Tuesday, August 26, 2003 at 11:48:11 (PDT)


below rather
-------------
Anonymous
- Tuesday, August 26, 2003 at 10:56:58 (PDT)


hey you did you see that
look above little ol' me
will be in ac and ce ntred
-------------
Anonymous
- Tuesday, August 26, 2003 at 10:55:18 (PDT)


whoa whoa.......joyce meyer here I c ome
-------------
Anonymous
- Tuesday, August 26, 2003 at 10:44:49 (PDT)


we live
that is my choice
whether or not
my toungue is in your ear
is your choice
-------------
@
- Tuesday, August 26, 2003 at 06:51:00 (PDT)


Remember Time is Prescious
-------------
Remember Time is Prescious
- Tuesday, August 26, 2003 at 00:44:47 (PDT)


Johnny Hollywood found the sweetest blonde
slappin' shit sandwiches together
and said to himself "Blonde...Cooks!!!!"
Shure she was'nt a high flautin' starbucks type of lady like Gretchen,well maybe
but what differance would any of it make
if the Cross Threaded Lesbian Mafia
got a hold of this one too?

If he was going to woo the hot blonde from somewhere this side of the angel Jessica's cloud in heaven
Johnny Hollywood would have to keep,hide and protect this honey from the dyke-a-thon menance known as the evil Cross Threaded Lesbin Mafia.

So far they have embarassed and beaten him in every compition,race,duel and contest,he had to find a way
to beat them at thier own game and he was'nt any good at dyking off so whatelse was there he knew there was something he was overlooking then like a light bulb going off in his head he had the answer!!!

Johnny Hollywood then challenged any member of the Cross Threaded Lesbian Mafia to a challenge
of Urinating thier names along with Gretchens right out in front of the burger king in the sleepy little town.

Johnny was to shure of himself someone heckled from the crowd,and he was.
Johnny Hollywood never expected the entire town to show up for the contest of love and under pressure he could not urinate his and Gretchens name on the side walk right out in front of the burger king because he forgot how to spell Gretchen and the incrediable standing lesbian of urination had "Gretchen" tattooed on her breast and her hairy forearm right next to "MOM"
"so it really was'nt fair" Johnny Hollywood told the crowd as they boo-ed him.


-------------
+++++++>>>>>
- Tuesday, August 26, 2003 at 00:40:41 (PDT)


The leader of the Cross Threaded Lesbian Mafia's secret code name was "pimp" Johnny found out the hard way,When she faxed an order list to the bands office
with requests for very rare babes.

They needed blue eyed red heads,women over three hundred pounds with crew cuts,and women of any size with a nice short and sassy hair style is what the
flyer said.

"What am I? A recuiter?" Asked Johnny Hollywood
"What the fuck do these bulldykes want from me?
to fish them up some ladies at the greyhound station,or maybe the homeless cam p...HAHAHAHAHAAH"
-------------
..+_
- Monday, August 25, 2003 at 23:38:40 (PDT)


we will live separate
and that's your choice
As a kid I grew here
and won't give that up
so what's your excuse
why for are you still
I carry on even though
you get used to it then
its like noones there
I have roots like old
trees planted in this
ground and not even a
chain saw could bring
me down for I still
live because I am
light and this is
my house not yours
I am the one who
found it and how
could I have not
considering the
connections I've
got and so who
cares in the grander
scheme of things
who paid for what
I just know it in my gut




-------------
Anonymous
- Monday, August 25, 2003 at 17:53:26 (PDT)


80 minutes starts now
so go look at the clock
and listen to the tic to c
-------------
Anonymous
- Monday, August 25, 2003 at 14:45:08 (PDT)


Remember Time is Prescious
so always remember to say whatever
-------------
Anonymous
- Monday, August 25, 2003 at 12:19:01 (PDT)


jab at me through the people
or make all the noise you want
but the bottom of this situation
has a floor and a foundation which
has been laid.

I give to you for one last time my
apologies for the troubles caused
so long ago. I acknowledge and
pray for the other one whos words
will be shared for this to have an
end.

Absolutely this was no dream and
not only is it written in the sky
but also in the fields soon to be
under the sye

whatever is to and that's what I
have to say about this and that
-------------
Anonymous
- Monday, August 25, 2003 at 12:16:30 (PDT)


Everything is lifted
even if you think not
I have no chains on me
for today I broke free
and ran down to the lake
so you see give me a break
I can block you like the
clouds do to the sun and
when I do that to you its
no fun for then there's
nothing to do except sit
there and think about what
you have done


-------------
Anonymous
- Monday, August 25, 2003 at 12:04:05 (PDT)


I am giving you up
and I'll tell you why
because my heart hurts
it's like im gonna die


I've cared for you for
along time but its
never amounted to much
and that is not all
due to me you see


I've knocked several
times and you have
always answered and
I would just like to
leave it at that


No more of you ever
and because I said
it it is now true
I am done with you
-------------
Anonymous
- Monday, August 25, 2003 at 11:58:48 (PDT)


Johnny Hollywood asked Gretchen to attend tonights sword fight between Himself and the champion from the cross thread lesbian mafias team
the battle would be to the death
and he told Gretchen she was the one he would like to die for."Your confusing me" said the very sexy Gretchen


-------------
....+
- Monday, August 25, 2003 at 11:07:48 (PDT)


For the second night in a row Johnny Hollywood
and Box Car Jesus raced obease women around
the White hen pantry,Johnny always stuck with the slow one that had a real bad dispostion.
With the police betting on the winners,The Cross Threaded Lesbian Mafia got pretty upset about none of the gambling profits coming thier way when they were the silient partner in the white hen pantry chain and in Chili's restraunts.
The plan for the cross threaded lesbian mafia massacure was bieng worked out and given to the biggest meanest deisel dyke in the crowd to carry out
"You get this right and thier will be a big promotion for you" said the fearless crossthreaded leader.

The deisel dyke large immedantly went to the little oriental place and got a manicure.
when she returned she was in the dog house with her lady husband and was not allowed to run with the pack on ladies night.
"Thats massicure not manicure" everyone joked.

When the Chilis case finally did make it around the calender Frank was Chili's defending attorney
and argued that his ass was bleeding very badly and he never ate at chili's once
well Johnnys ass was not bleeding but upon eating the dog food they failed to cook he did shit a very lot.

Stained shouted the lady Judge before she dismissed the case.

I demand a retrial cried Johnnys sweet looking attorney in her tennis shorts.
The judge asked Johnny to see her in her chambers
once there she said "Johnny I here you like to snort cocaine of real nice asses? Ever snort the shit off a Judges ass before?"
when he told her he had she became angry and asked him to snort cocaine off her ass because no one had ever snorted cocaine off her ass while she wore the judges robe,so he tried to do her a favor but some people nothing is good enough for and if she had her way he would still be there tomorrow.
-------------
....
- Monday, August 25, 2003 at 10:57:23 (PDT)


The police had frank and his bleeding ass moved to the white hen pantry so his ass could bleed into the capichinno machine,Frank loved the job.
-------------
.......+_____
- Monday, August 25, 2003 at 09:35:30 (PDT)


traffic was backed up for miles
the road blocks and barracades
were slowing every lane down to a snails pace
after hours of wondering what the hold up was
the police directed everyone around it like it just was'nt there but it was
right in the fast lane
there was frank with his broken crack pipe
and he was bleeding from the ass

"Why don't you arrest him" asked one of the citzens
"his mom is a famous psyhchic" said the nice officer
really? asked another concerned citzen

"No hes got west nile aids
and we dont have a bucket large
for his bleeding ass" said officer number two
-------------
.. =+____
- Monday, August 25, 2003 at 09:33:13 (PDT)


Johnny Hollywood demanded a rematch
claiming the very obease woman
he was the jockey for was a dayshift worker and therefore you could plainly see she was more tired
than the very obease woman Box Car Jesus was racing thru the white hen pantry store on fat back.

So before the high stakes rematch Johnny took her over to the deli asile and made sure she was feD.

The police got there just in time to place thier bets
and also just in time for the donut man to make his delievery althought the gambling officers would have liked to have some coffee there was none to speak of at this point.

They great races began and Johnny Hollywood was beaten four outta five races with his overtired very obease lady bitching about everything Johnny Hollywood wanted to put her away wet and just hit the hightway
but one of the officers reminded them that would be cruielty and both of the fat lady racers walked the very obease ladys off before putting them away.

Since it was Johnny Hollywoods and Boxcar Jesus' fault that there was no coffee made they stayed and helped the nice women make the famous white hen pantry coffee
out of the many different colored hot dogs the gas station finally thru away because there was no one in town stupid enough to eat them,but they sure love it as coffee said the only pretty girl to work at the chain of iggnorance they call "White Hen Pantry"
before she began playing hide and seek with Johnny Hollywood

"That bitch is nuts" Said Johnny

"Wait til' I catch her asleep,I'll eat her" said Johnny Hollywoods losing horse.
-------------
-+ ......
- Monday, August 25, 2003 at 09:20:36 (PDT)


Johnny Hollywoos and boxcar Jesus rented out the white hen pantry convient store late at night when nothing was going on except the nice overwieght lady would give oral sex in the back for money.

Since most of the aisles were clean at tgat time of night they had climbed on the backs of two very obease women and had races up and down the aisle
Boxcar jesus won three outta five races,andwas the reigning champion.
-------------
...
- Monday, August 25, 2003 at 08:47:05 (PDT)


why are you so distant to my empty heart

he said as he looked into the toilet bowl
-------------
Anonymous
- Monday, August 25, 2003 at 02:27:32 (PDT)


Johnny Hollywood went back down to the ol' welfare
office once again and told the crazy people at the counter he lost his link card again.

"You have to see your case worker" the old bag said real pissy

after six hours Johnny got to see his caseworker
"Oh Johnny I did'nt know you were here I would'nt have taken a four hour lunch" she said

"Its O.K. baby,I lost my link card" He told her

"Oh hell no" said Johnnys caseworker bitch
"I got a perment twitch in my left eye because you
like to snort plastic chemicals,but the good news is
I get to sue the state that issues the link card"

Johnny talked her into snorting the diced link card and then opened her top drawer to show Johnny she had access to all kinds of link cards

"Damn, you got all that nose plastic and you get seven checks a month too? Thats a postion not a job"
Johnny Hollywood told her
-------------
----=+,,.
- Monday, August 25, 2003 at 02:23:23 (PDT)


"Freedom!!!!

thats something that is not easy to find
FREEDOM
finally is mine" said Johnny Hollywood very happily
"I can do anything go anywhere in the first time in forever ...And what makes life even better is I got the finest stuff here to party with my best of friends with" as he broke off a little more of Gretchens heart and filled the bong with it




-------------
-----=+..,
- Sunday, August 24, 2003 at 19:20:09 (PDT)


Johnny Hollywood paid Anne Frank thirt-five gas station hot dogs he got out of the garbage over the past week so she could make the coffee for the white hen pantry with them
He traded the hot dogs to her for the secret map of the cross threaded lesbian mafia's secret massive cucumber garden.

"I have never seen anything like it" said Johnny
"Even though it is within fifteen miles of the nuclear
plant,I would have never expected someting like this,
I mean cucumbers with microchips in them who would have thought. And the soil is kitty litter? weird stuff,it looked a lot like someone had cut holes in some of these cucumbers and put weights inside of them but why" Johnny Hollywood pondered.

He easily found the secret tunnel to the Cross Threaded Lesbian Mafia Cattacombs and got lost down there for two days until he fell into a trap
down into the pit he fell and when he woke up there was six Cross threaded lesbian mafia bulldyke suma wrestlers pulling him in every direction.

He wished he knew who to pray to
but there was not a barbie looking honeypie around.

After the tug o Johnny festivities Johnny was welcomed into the cross threaded lesbian mafia as an honorary member with open arms by the very drunkin' leader of the cross threaded lesbian mafia herself
He gave a couple of acceptance speeches and made reconition of lipstick lesbian day coming up next week
and made a few suggestions for sitting down during urination because "cleanlyness is next to godlyness"
he preached Then spiked the punch bowl with viagra and spanish fly then snuk out the back door singing ten thousand man iacs.
-------------
...--=-.
- Sunday, August 24, 2003 at 19:11:31 (PDT)


without you there is no love
that can find a way into my soul
-------------
Anonymous
- Sunday, August 24, 2003 at 18:49:59 (PDT)


I feel sick when I am not with you
the thought you might not be alone
it rips my heart into many pieces
I am not sure that I can go on
-------------
Anonymous
- Sunday, August 24, 2003 at 18:47:55 (PDT)


The cross threaded lesbian mafia had derailed
the soup train and it was leaking toxic soups into the cat box

"Certain death is upon us" said cat woman as she told Johnny Hollywood about the microchip between her shoulder blades.
Johnny snorted used kitty litter off cat womans microchip not even knowing what it was f or.
-------------
...----------===+
- Sunday, August 24, 2003 at 17:32:31 (PDT)


The cross threaded lesbian mafia caught up with Johnny Hollywood and took him around back to the alley and roughed him up
"Drop the lawsuit against Chili's or its all over"
The very large lady with a nice military crew cut
told Johnny.

At the Christmas party Bertha's private investigator told everyone he thought "The elevator music at Chili's had subliminal messages telling him to worship the devil by not using all of the toilet paper"
And he volunteered to battle the Cross Threaded Lesbian Mafia side by side with Johnny Hollywood
if thats what it takes to clean up this town.

Clean up this town
clean up this town?
Johnny had a great ideal
he would ask the whore cop to help battle
the Cross Threaded Lesbian Mafia too.
he ended up snorting cocaine off her ass all night long
and finally when the sun came up he realised
she was just bullshitting about battleing the cross threaded lesbian mafia.

So as a last resort Johnny Hollywood went down to the welfare office and asked to see his caseworker
which took four hours but when he did get to see her heiness she was enraged
"Johnny Hollywood I'll give you another link card but if you snort this one thats it.We keep putting money down at the grocery store for yous with these cards we do not keep giving you cards. If I had known thats what we were snorting the last time I would have cut you off then.all those chemicals in the plastic who knows what these cards are made of
what if I get cancer"

"Bitch bitch bitch" Johnny said as he snorted the finely chopped link card off the edgy caseworkers ass

"You son of a bitch" she shouted

"Its leftover from the first link card you gave me" Johnny Hollywood lied

Johnny Hollywood massaged the peruto ricans feet with a jalepino pepper and let her smoke the rest of the link card plastic and she was all good.
-------------
...==----
- Sunday, August 24, 2003 at 17:18:15 (PDT)


tommorrow brings the hour between six and 7pm
I'll be alone with nothing to distract me but
the phone with your voice on the other end in
my ear whispering the words I so need to hear













-------------
Anonymous
- Sunday, August 24, 2003 at 17:04:24 (PDT)


my mind knows nothing but energy
so the eyes see a reality beyond
to a place we created in a dream
only known to us when we arsleep
I awake with thoughts of leaving
you there the night before now I
must wait until sleeptime 2night
to see you, hold you, & kiss you
to the land of make believe love
are youa with me or do you split
-------------
Anonymous
- Sunday, August 24, 2003 at 16:58:20 (PDT)


Listen to the Enigma

my purpose here in life
is to make people aware
of the truth set inside
this rare collection cd
it'll remove the strife
if you give in not hide
from the key to freedom
even if it is just lust
Don't you agree with me
you long for the thrust
-------------
Anonymous
- Sunday, August 24, 2003 at 16:48:31 (PDT)


hey you
member me
long time
no see
where ya
been living
obviously
far from me
could you
feel it when
I'd think of you
something tells
me you did
more often then
not it was me
you felt
but one day
I lost you
to another
frequency per haps?

-------------
Anonymous
- Sunday, August 24, 2003 at 16:41:00 (PDT)


hey will you tattoo a crop circle on my loin?
-------------
Anonymous
- Sunday, August 24, 2003 at 16:34:54 (PDT)


Johnny Hollywood cut Gretchens heart into and put each half in seperate plastic sandwiches bags most likely made by ziplock and threw the right half of her fragile little heart into the freezer and took the left half with him to party on for the weeken d.
-------------
-----------.........--=-
- Sunday, August 24, 2003 at 16:03:22 (PDT)


Johnny asked Gretchen to remove the bullets
from his skin
because she was the nicest murse he knew
-------------
--------...............----=-
- Sunday, August 24, 2003 at 15:59:42 (PDT)


Johnny wore the groucho nose and shades to bingo
at the Church of The Cross Threaded Lesbian Mafia Union
and got in the door where he found the secret passage and hid out for a week to watch their secret operations
and it was just as he thought
they were devising a diabolical plot against him ever getting up with a nice one.

-------------
----------........--------=--
- Sunday, August 24, 2003 at 15:58:06 (PDT)


Johnny set all the slaves free for the holidays
and got a twelver of Hienkiens and took Gabriela to the Volkswagon dealership at midnight when the moon was right and sweated on the hoods of a Volkwagon golf two Jettas and a light blue bug.

"Next time I see him,I'm pulling him over" said the fat fuck off duty copsucker.
-------------
..-------- --------
- Sunday, August 24, 2003 at 15:52:09 (PDT)


Johnny Hollywood shit himself into a real nice vaction.
He had one hell of a lawsuit against the Chili's shit machine and could "think of great endings for the Movie
with this kind of cash flow" he told Gretchen as he ordered her a new Sears catalog

Bertha stormed the honeymoon suite and got Johnny
by the balls and nailed him upside down to a bridge
where little trolls named lori snapped at them

Johnny Hollywood now knew the cross threaded lesbian mafia was a part of this and had gotten thru to his true love Bertha a long time ago but how many more
Berthas were out there?

-------------
-- -- -- - .
- Sunday, August 24, 2003 at 15:47:52 (PDT)


You really are the only one I do love
you know that,fucker
-------------
Anonymous
- Sunday, August 24, 2003 at 13:19:55 (PDT)


The cross threaded lesbian mafia had caught
Johnny Hollywood on thier turf
and beat him to a pulp
right after Johnny went to Chili's
for lunch and the
"Making of Johnny Hollywood the Movie"
had to be post phoned for two weeks
because he caught food poisioning
when the sexy nurses helper asked
"Johnny Hollywood what had really happened back there
at the Chili's Restraunt?"

He replied"I don't know, I remember I thought the place
was a gay bar and the next thing you know I was
shitting a lot."

Production was way behind schedule.

"Maybe the Movie would move along quicker
if Johnny was'nt such a perfectionist and
had to do one shot ten thousand times."
Said Box car Jesus
-------------
-- -- --- -- --
- Sunday, August 24, 2003 at 13:17:44 (PDT)


tell me again why you don't love me?
-------------
Anonymous
- Sunday, August 24, 2003 at 13:16:47 (PDT)


OK
-------------
Anonymous
- Sunday, August 24, 2003 at 09:52:41 (PDT)


I am a high risk
but that doesnt
mean I can't be
climbed I may
have areas of grey
but I am not blind
so I'll see you
if you should decide
to leave it all behind
in order to master me
-------------
Anonymous
- Sunday, August 24, 2003 at 09:05:57 (PDT)


The harvest is on
people gathering
getting ready
for the arrival of winter
through preparing during the
the departure of summer which
first will turn into fall
there is more to love than just you
for there is the love of the wilderness
that I have and wanted to share with you
but you must share the same passion
in order for this to all work.


-------------
Anonymous
- Sunday, August 24, 2003 at 08:50:28 (PDT)


Dear Conscience

have a care
take care
feel good
remain young
retain love
watch health
stay cool
look for joy
be good
search for truth
believe in god
do what's right
Amen
-------------
Anonymous
- Sunday, August 24, 2003 at 08:42:54 (PDT)


Does this mean the summer is over?
-------------
.. .. .. ..
- Sunday, August 24, 2003 at 08:40:21 (PDT)


"What a minute you pretendaholic
the devil is a very nice girl
and I will not stand here and let
you talk bad about her
on the seventh day"

"I'm calling you out"
the coin was flipped high into the air
"checkers or wrastlin'?"

The arm wrestling began
Johnny Hollywood got whooped like he double crossed the cross threaded lesbian mafia
fact is his clothes were all tore up,so

Johnny had the tee shirts made
they say


I don't believe in Bertha Mae
I don't believe in Bertha Mae
I don't believe in Bertha Mae
I don't believe in Bertha Mae
I don't believe in Bertha Mae
I don't believe in Bertha Mae
I don't believe in Bertha Mae
I don't believe in Bertha Mae
I don't believe in Bertha Mae
I don't believe in Bertha Mae
I don't believe in Bertha Mae
I don't believe in Bertha Mae
I don't believe in Bertha Mae
I don't believe in Bertha Mae
I don't believe in Bertha Mae
I don't believe in Bertha Mae
-------------
.. ..
- Sunday, August 24, 2003 at 08:35:43 (PDT)


Poems pruned on 08-24-03

poems_01-08-00 archive
poems_02-26-00 archive
poems_05-12-99 archive
poems_08-11-00 archive
poems_08-15-99 archive
poems_10-27-99 archive
poems_09-08-01 archive
poems_02-02-02 archive
poems_03-23-02 archive
poems_12-18-01 archive
poems_07-24-02 archive
poems_10-29-02 archive
poems_03-08-03 archive
poems_05-15-03 archive
poems_08-24-03 archive

 
Main