Poetic Works
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Johnny F.N. Hollywoods was drunk and stupid
His crazy Anne Frank Bitch was narrating His life play by play to another goofy ass groupie who didn't look half as hot.This was annoying Johnny F.N. Hollywoods and He threatened to have them replaced with an amazon blonde cop if they couldn't behave and do some of his laundry with a happy ending, "I'll get that doughnut eater in here to warsh up my clothes" He hollered into the wall where the body heat sensor was reading ninty seven point nine.
"Come on outta there You cold hearted heart breaker,cook me some beans"
Johnny F.N. Hollywoods told His stalking Anne Frank Ho with tenderness and love. it bieng check day He wanted to celebrate the link card dinner with buttercups but she's shy today.
Johnny Fucking Hollywoods was hoping to lure cupcake outta from inside the wall and take Her down to the court house and marry up to Her right quick before Sweet Bertha came back from overall shopping at the Farm and Fleets and had anything to say about it.
-------------
:
-

I either love You or I'm outta My mi nd

-------------
Anonymous
-

Johnny F.N. Hollywoods and Doctor Gail ran off into the night

She had seven dollars left on Her link card
so they went Piggy Wiggly's and got four boxes of Macaronni and a hand full of chilli's.
It was the coldest part of winter during the first decade of the gas war so they burnt Her Kincaid collection in the fire place and drank forty ouncers until three in the morning.
When Johnny F.N. Hollywoods woke up He had been robbed By the maid and he knew it was Her because she dusted him four times,All He wanted was his dollar back and He would go all the way to desplaines to get it if He had to He so angry He didn't even find his way to the outhouse that morning for nealy three or four minutes, but when He came out of the out house the tall blonde bare foot cop tazered his ass into a coma as she scolded him falsely for urinating on the toilet seat.
When Johnny F.N. Hollywoods came to He explained that it wasn't Him, it was some other farm animal running wild at the mental institution that day.
this time while He was out He work boots got gone
and He could go to work on Oprah's farm and it was getting near okra harvest season.
-------------
The World Reknowned Cat Box Poet and Polish Girl Sniffer
-

"I wanna be a corporate Rock Whore so the Women around here will wanna get with Me"

I wanna be a corporate Rock Whore so the Women around here will wanna get with Me
I'd pick the prettiest one first
ask Her to be My Valentine and do L.S.D.
I wanna be a corporate rock whore
and buy a pizza place in lake forrest for the bartender and Me
take her shopping over at the Walmarts
so She could get some toiletries
shake it
I'm goin' get a double wide
-------------
:
-

"I Don't Wanna Work On Oprah's Farm Today,
Mother Fucker!"

Don't take me to Oprah's
I can't work on Her farm today
don't take Me to Oprah's
My case workers coming over
it'll have to wait
I can't go today
I'll have to call in
theres places I have to go
appointments I gots to deal with
I can't work the fields
My back is killing Me
I gotta spend some quality time
over at Welfares
My case worker comes back from lunch at three
I hate Indiana
it makes Me wanna puke
-------------
:Travis Ray Cole
-

"Public Service Announcement"

Alright you had your warning if my favorite bleach blonde don't come put it on me.
I will play my guitar
I'm not kidding this time
-------------
no name generic
-

This next poem goes out to Your Mom.
-------------
:
-

"The Hot Crack Whore's Been Cross Threaded"

The hot crack whores been cross threaded
but i still love her guts
love her guts
gotta love her
the hot crack whores been cross threaded
but i still love her guts
love her guts
love her guts
gotta love her
-------------
Travis Ray Cole
-

"Mission Upon The Dog Doo Christ"

The art is dead
behind the empty heart
lies the aborted dreams
of vacant thought processes
displayed in song

My Stupid Girlfriend don't give Me no ass
My Stupid Girlfriend don't give Me no ass
My Stupid Girlfriend don't give Me no ass
and never lets Me dance with Her Sister

Anne Frank why You acting this way
hide in My walls like a ghost
and make bootleg Rat Acid tapes for trade
never cook with garlic
or war-sh up my clothes
never bring
me any smoke

My Stupid Girlfriend don't give Me no ass
My Stupid Girlfriend don't give Me no ass
My Stupid Girlfriend don't give Me no ass
and never lets Me dance with Her Sister

I don't care
I'll wait for Her and the landscaping maid to leave then I can play
in peace for a change
I got to or I'll go insane
stay away from My barbed wire stings
that scream and pray
for Princess mostly
shards of the heart left on the frets
where they bleed
some of them flushed down the drain

My Stupid Girlfriend don't give Me no ass
My Stupid Girlfriend don't give Me no ass
My Stupid Girlfriend don't give Me no ass
and never lets Me dance with Her Sister

but I still love the bartender
I have coveted thee
I still love the bartender
I can't help it You see.
-------------
El Catsburgerski M.D.
-

"Love letters stolen before published electronically"


Love letters stolen before published electronically
writings manipulated
changed
t heft
-------------
Travis Ray Cole
-

jammed
-------------
Anonymous
-

Johnny F.N. Hollywoods sat on the love seat in Doctor Gail's Office and studied the Kincaid floor mat As Doctor Gail began to snore.

-------------
:
-

Big Ass Stalker Day

The womenfolk on the island
were incognito tonight wearing fake big asses so as Johnny F.N. Hollywoods would not know it was them because all thier faces looked the same but He could tell You who was who from a mile away with a glance at that ass
the perfect camoflauge
He would never be the wiser.
They could now follow him around unoticed and not be asked to car pool with Johnny Hollywoods everytime they went to the gas station because they were going the same places anyway

-------------
:
-

Anne Frank
what You wanna do
Maybe if You don't look like a troll
I can get with You


-------------
Anonymous
-

the pain is not from when She entered My Mind
mind fuck
all thoughts of Her
all the time
I don't even know Her
She stole a place in My heart
mind fuck
She stole a place in My heart
mind fuck
I can't believe
that in You is all I believe
-------------
:
-

blues are born from the sexiest stalker
My most dedicated groupie
films nothing most of the time
a waste of film
She needs the practice
its not getting better

My favorite bartender has a place in every poem I write for the rest of My life
Anne Frank wasn't a bleach blonde
roses for a whorecop
diamonds in the pawn shop
shave the gold
before its resold
none of this matters
a look into the eyes of a lie
a dream that You have stolen
-------------
:
-

From the Steel Storage Container
to the hair dye aisle
The love cop
suck on my underground
kill the art


-------------
:
-

True True
-------------
Anonymous
-

Too Damn Smoking Hot To Blend In
as it were
-------------
:
-

Johnny F.N. Hollywoods had reached an all time high,His stalker was the most beautiful stalker He had ever seen and had ever had had the honor to be stalked by.There was no miss piggy playing peek a boo tonight. Well there was but She was eclipsed by the Stalker Goddess.
This was the super deluxe model stalker.
He knew this was the one
So He wanted to get stalked over to the Wedding Dress shop as fast as He could.
Then Johnny F.N. Hollywoods second brain started asking all kinds of question like what if She's some kinda cop. Well then She would be the hottest cop ever
of as Johnny F.N. Hollywoods first brain would call Hot Cop Ass.
She no kind of a cop Johnny F.N. Hollywoods first brain vouged for Her Hieness of Stalkism.
Right away Johnny Hollywoods bragged about how hot His stalker was to the other members of the band.
Sorta like Ha Ha I got a hotter stalker making fun and really making some of the other memebers really seriously depressed to the point that He had to medicate Himself into a ten hour coma.
-------------
:
-

Johnny F.N. Hollywoods seen the slut nurse coming down the hall and got happy about breakfast time vittles and it wasn't 'cause Sweet Bertha runned over another possum for breakfast with Her air conditioned John Deere Tractor,it was because He knowed his coffee had the milk of Crack Whore in it in fact when He filled out the menu last night He ordered extra creame of Crack Whore not shaken and not stirred. What He didn't know was the Screws were owned By The Cross Threaded Lesbian Mafia Union and got to the Slut Nurse to deliever up an triple dose of the Bertha Meds today because they felt He might become saddened,this bieng the Annerversary of the day the Magic Crack Whores price went down to...

"What was it? Gimmie the fact sheet cupcake
turn off the toilet bowl cam...
Here it is this just in
it warted out to uh She owed him money, and the Milk of the Crack Whore was going for more than the actual Magic Crack Whore herself"

The Puppeteers watched Johnny Hollywoods like a mouse in a cage as if He was a shitty short film on Image Union or something,He was thier entertainment.
Just as blonde groupies that showed up stalking Johnny Hollywoods,lying about living on horse farms and bieng educated and rich and as soon as they get to the bar Her Daddy's credit card was as dry as the dried up bar rag across the counter.


Johnny Hollywoods was thinking Servants and sponge bathes and the Bertha Meds Toxic Mickey had him dreaming about the ol' Crackwhore wearing a white wedding dress and Her name along side His on the medical card and thier relationshit on file down at the Welfare Office .
The slut Nurse took the microchip outta Johnny Hollywoods mind and replaced it it a cheaper one and He could never again play the geetard and He didn't sound like Jerry Garcia anymore.

None of this worked though,
When Johnny Fucking Hollywoods came outta the Bertha Meds induced comma He only stopped thinking about the Magic Crack Whore four times that day.Once to think about counting freckles on the Red Head that the Leader of the Cross Threaded Lesbian Mafia Union had stole away and once to think about the Movie Star then there was once to think about the bartender well actually twiced for the lap dancing Bartender and He stopped thinking about the generic Barbie looking Crack Whore once when He took a shit as the toilet bowl cam clearly shows.

He thought about the time He promised Her a dozen roses that He did not have then He thought about how nothing did it for him like the sound of his money rustling as She hid it in He sleeve while He was wooing Her and the first place He thought of looking as in Her Cat Box.
He thought about all the good times they had like the time that Her stunt double showed up instead and He just thought that it the Magic Crack Whore
had taken a bath or something.
He thought about all the Money He wasted on wining and dining the bartender at fancy restraunts.
Then He started thinking about the ugliest Woman alive.
-------------
:
-

The Screws had Johnny F.N. Hollywood thinking crazy shit again
-------------
Anonymous
-

"Shut Up Fat Fuck"

Johnny F.N. Hollywoods cell was wired
the puppetmasters had him thinking thier was ghosts or something He kept hearing the voices
and they told him the small voice wanted to be his soulbride.

"But what about Sweet Bertha?" Johnny Hollywoods asked "What if Sweet Bertha comes back like an old dog
always do?"

"You don't want Sweet Bertha, Johnny Hollywood, She ran off with another man and stole Your steel toed work boots" the walls seemed to say.

Then Johnny Hollywood prayed to the cuddlyiest bartender He ever coveted.
and found the answer in Her eyes.

"Choose the super model and have nothing but a wired cell choose the sloppy fat bitch and eat well off Her welfare checks and be happy"

"What kind of answer is that? Johnny Hollywoods wondered this must be another trick
the high priestess of Goddessism is playing on him like when she kept setting him up with every hot woman
that walked by so as He wouldn't drool on Her anymore.


Johnny F.N. Hollywoods became worried He knew the cell was wired with sound and voices and He knew that He prayed to the bartender but She wasn't there the puppet masters had imitated Her lovely voice too.

"You are skitzo Johnny" the speakers in the walls told him

he tore out the walls and found nothing

The puppeteers became worried and hired Big Roxy to be bouncer in case Johnny Hollywoods brought home womens that were not fat.

I paid My dues with fat nasty biotches Johnny Hollywoods cried.
all the screens showed anerexics and Johnny F.N. Hollywoods was happy for months.
the puppeteers hired fat nasty bitches to be the sweet voices behind the pictures of the skinny womens.
-------------
:
-

"Come on You Crazy Bitch"

Come on You crazy bitch
I know You love only Me
Your only making us both crazy
with Your mind game disease
come on You crazy bitch
You think its all a lie
that I don't wanna believe in You
when theres nothing to trust in disguised
-------------
:
-

the lord of the toilet bowl cams
-------------
Anonymous
-

"Never Mind Columbo"

The ceiling tiles are in the way
I shall remove them
remove them remove them
I shall remove them
La Migra's on the way
The ceiling tiles have no purpose
We no like them
the ceiling tiles they are no good
the ceiling tiles have no purpose
they are asbestoes anyway
got a fat biotch over yonder with a meth reciepe I think You'll like
I traded generic oatmeal to the Welfare Niggers
and the Amazing Whore Cops for this Meth Receipe and stirred it with this dried up ol' bar rags badge
the Leader of the Cross Threaded Lesbian Mafia Union
shaved for nothing today
the toilet bowl came does'nt need water to function that is not a rule
so what about the ceiling tiles
thier in the way
Miss Piggy don't care
cause Her link cards expired and She has got to get paid

My other hobbies include starting a family with anerexiks
Johnny F.N. Hollywood would always say
the escort service has billed Him for a smoking tranny
Who won't cook up any eggs

La Migra La Migra help Me to get laid
I need it a massage therapist
I haven't a lot to pay
La Migra La Migra
wheres the chinease laundrer
I ordered Her for today
Heres My five gallon bucket
Heres My rags and a box of soap
I got at the grocery store
-------------
:
-

rip out the ceiling tile
rip out the ceiling tile
I can see You
I can see You now
rip out the ceiling tileI can see You
the indians flooded the toilet upstairs so there would be a big hole in the floor so they could watch the fridge and see if there was any beersch left
-------------
:
-

The Leader of the Cross Threaded Lesbian Mafia Union
was shaving in the sauce dish

Anne Frank and the Amazing Whorecops
blaming farts on Bertha
abstracting shitternet lies about bieng underground


-------------
:
-

"The Taxman Came And Took Johnny F.N. Hollywood's Government Issue Crack Whore Away"

The Taxman came and took Johnny F.N. Hollywood's Government issue Crack Whore away
now He gots no one to love
gots no way to get laid

The Taxman came and took Johnny F.N. Hollywood's Government issue Crack Whore away
She's got a camera in Her eye
She's got a microchip in Her brain
So He had no way to hide Her
they was gonna find Her anyway

The Taxman don't care about the love they once had
The Taxman don't care if Johnny Hollywoods and the Government Issue Crack Whore get sad
They said He owed them monies
they were wrong about that
They said He owed them monies
They were wrong about that
Now they took away His microchipped Government Issue Crack Whore
and they don't wanna give Her back

Johnny F.N. Hollywood's heart is all but broken now
Johnny F.N. Hollywood's heart don't got nothing to beat for
cause of that ol' taxman
come round and took the Government Issue Crack Whore
they track Her with a microchip in Her brain
everywhere she goes they know
and if She's going back again
they got a camera
its in Her left eye
they know just what She's thinking
She's a bot and a slave

Say goodbye to the Government Issue Crack Whore
They took Her away for good
adios Sweet Baby
I'd save You if I could
run away someplace
and reprogram You to cook really good
-------------
:
-

have I not played the guitar enough to be rewarded with a bleach blonde?
I guess the fuck not
-------------
Anonymous
-

the queen of mind games
-------------
Anonymous
-

I didn't want anyone until I saw You last night
I didn't care about anything thats right
-------------
Anonymous
-

now i know what love at first sight is
-------------
Anonymous
-

"established spot"



-------------
>
-

I have given it a lot of thought and You are right again there should be a place
and that place shall be in Your cat box
meow one time
come o n
-------------
Anonymous
-

what is it this time
didn't we try this before
if you can't get it on you can't get it on
-------------
Anonymous
-

where would I think that it would happen
there needs to be an established spot
before any goings on takes place
-------------
Anonymous
-

what are your perceived barriers ~ what are the items or things that are preventing you from getting to where you need to go and when you wrap your goals around your person and be the goal, see the goal, and soon the goal will be you and you will be the goal.
-------------
Anonymous
-

sing your goals
-------------
Anonymous
-

I am a yappy little sap just tryin to be heard
and what I promote is very obsurd and that is only because the devil in me can bring out the nerd in me
and you know it because you are what I'm speaking about so its no secret and there's no doubt that you
are why I never turned phony even when I was peaking
-------------
Anonymous
-

the fact that this is not real time is a real pet peeve of mine. For it never fails that when I need you the most you are just not here as you are somewhere other than over there. Its not like I have a whole bunch of time so I would appreciate it if you could be here on time in real time. Now would that be considered a crime or could someone bet even a dime that not on a chance are you prepared to dance your tongue with mine.

-------------
Anonymous
-

the fact that this is not real time is a pet peeve of mine. For it never fails that when I need you the most you just aren't here because you are somewhere
other than over there. Its not like I have a whole
whack of time I would appreciate it if you could be
here in real time on time. Now would that be such
a crime or could someone bet even a dime that not
on a chance are you prepared to dance your tongue
with mine.
-------------
Anonymous
-

youwho where are you
-------------
Anonymous
-

"Stalker Tard Ass Bitch"

You hide to narrate the news
shut the fuck up
I'm sick of hearing You
Your mouth is so big
just like Your ass
You must be a dumbshit
to think I can't hear it
I can see You to with the dumbshit mini cam
I can read Your mind but only sometimes
thats How I know that often it is I that You hate
but then when Your heart beats slow
You think I'm Your soulmate
like when I play the cowboy chords
You dig them because Your lame
but its not Your fault
I'm the one that played them
when We could have been listening to the Doors
-------------
:
-

"Stalker Tard Ass Bitch"

You hide to narrate the news
shut the fuck up
I'm sick of hearing You
Your mouth is so big
just like Your ass
You must be a dumbshit
to think I can't hear iI can see You to with the dumbshit mini cam
I can read Your mind but only sometimes
thats How I know that sometimes it is I that You hate
but then sometimes You think I'm Your soulmate
like when I play the cowboy chords
You dig them because Your lame
but its not Your fault
I'm the one that played them

-------------
:
-

"I Have The Ugliest Stalker"

I have the ugliest stalker
She's My groupie too
now I busted My geetar
there has to be another muscian for You
use to be a time I would jam
and play all day every day learnin' electric rules
but if this is My reward My playing days are thru
I have the ugliest stalker
I have ever seen
She scared the dookie outta Me
made Me hurl My lunch
I don't remember eating anything that was green
I have the ugliest stalker
looks like My old hound
So I gotta turn off the lights when ever She's around
Stalk somebody else Baby
Halloween is already past
it would be so bad if You had an eighth of that ass
-------------
:
-

I love that little crack whore

I love that little crack whore
she's the one in My dreams
I remember when
she had the time for Me
but now she's gone world wide
and forgot My name
gave away our baby
to Her fat nasty caseworker again
-------------
:
-

Quote""""is okay to be pissed
just cause you think me an ijit
can't stand to be dissed
you just throw a fit

the louder one wins
according to the rules
set forth by kin
in previous duels

and you in the corner
don't even try to step
put the cubs to bed
cause this is about rep

no one tears me down
better than I
even with my hands bound
it's useless to try

i'll just keep talkin
till you say something new
i guess that's forever
so far that's true

yeah i know my faults
so quit talking shit
better get the salts
'cause you bout to get hit

knocked the fuck out
without using my fist
was trained by the best
if you get my gist

oh did you say something
or was that just a cough
better step the fuck up
or step the fuck off

i know all about you
and your passive aggresive ways
how your inhibitions leave
and the pain stays

at the center of it all
is some internal conflict
only thing that's making me stall
is that pain i'm gonna inflict

cause i don't wanna hurt you
though that would give me pleasure
but just for a moment
and not enough to measure

not enough to forget
all the shit that's been said
can't turn back the clock
can't bring back the dead

thought this was over
but lets do it again
you're gonna go down
the only question is when
-------------
Newt/end of Quote""""""


Response: Wicked
-------------
Anonymous
-

I am ichy and I am stratching but my life isn't a show or so I have always thought since the day I could think thoughts and actually make sense of them
I know for absolute that he loved me and that you love me but for now I must go so until my words meet your eyes and brains again please take care and know that I love you for always there is no doubt or question there
-------------
Anonymous
-

I am so sick and tired of needless chatter that I am to the point of actually telling someone who engages in it to stop it because in the end they are just rambling and wasted words that were never meaningful
-------------
Anonymous
-

the signs fly by along with the homes and trees
the wind has been so strong that sometimes I think its crying as it whips and snaps all in its path and the end result for us when it is done is a re-arrangement of our life on the planet only we call ea rth
-------------
Anonymous
-

im in a crisis and it is you that is the only one on this earth who can help me through it
I used to participate in automatic writing and then share it with you so I strongly believe that although I cannot have you help me in person
I know that telepathically that you can ~ so will you ?
-------------
godthank
-

the fact that I have the ability to cross over
makes me very nervous and want to run to you
but I know that is neither an option or a possibility
so I am only hurting myself and those around me by doating over you in the ways that I do that afterall
have no bearing on how you feel or think about me

-------------
Anonymous
-

Johnny F.N. Hollywoods eyes slowly opened He could see the sun in the sky He could tell it was close to ten o'clock Sunday Morning He turned His head slightly and seen in the bed next to him was the nasty Crack Whore they found on the corner and pinning Her down was Johnny Hollywoods Welfare Caseworker who was snoring very loudly.
If only Johnny Hollywood could fetch the Whore they found on the corner last night away from under the Caseworker,that was the mission of the day
slowly He tugged on the Crack Whore, He couldn't tell yet if it was Her thiegh or Her flat chest He was pulling on but He knew He had to free Her from under the Biggie sized obease Welfare Caseworker or the would be no Crack Whore no more.
Just then Sweet Bertha kicked the door in pointing Her gun at everybody as if She had seen to many cop shows.
Johnny Hollywoods knew it was now or never and raised up using His Momma's Welfare Caseworker's nose to pull himself up now almost yanking on the crackwhore pushing off on the case workers face
-------------
The Cat Box Poet
-

"An Ode to The Hottest Bleach Blonde Bleach Blonde Bleach Blonde ever sent to this Planet from Heaven"

It's a good game of Mind Fuck and anyone can see Your winning right now but before I concour You and leave You insane and non-sensical I want You to know I love You and words could never compliment the degree of Your intoxicating beauty,so at anytime You could reverse the damages up until the point of no return and You and I could slip away into the hell called Marriage where You'll be chained to Me with the laundry and the killing the varmits for vittles and preparing the Vittles gormet style without the aid of them new fangled Microwave Ovens and live happily ever after or until I sue You for something and find a bitch ten years younger than You but that won't be for almost a decade from now anyway this ain't H ollywood.
-------------
Seizure Stunt Double Sniffer with the Seventh Chords on the Seventh Day
-

Johnny F.N. Hollywoods was looking at the bottom of the barrel He would take out one of the servants at this point if Sweet Bertha's Mamma didn't already beat them Ho's in the faces,dress them up like it was Halloween and had them out under the street light where she shoots dice and drinks forties.

It got to wheres Johnny Hollywoods didn't care no more 'bout the Landscapers Union or if Sweet Bertha's Momma already had that little bleach blonde booked to jump out of a cake,Johnny Hollywoods was gonna marry up quick and wanted to take the steel container of storage She rode over here in with them
but Nowhere in the North could He find a trailer park that would accept the steel storage container unless Johnny Hollywoods did an official like install of some better plumbing than the five gallon bucket over in the corner.Well except for that Mesikin Trailer Park on the South Side but the commute would have killed Him in fuel during the times of the Gas War.
When the Polish Womens up the holler found out Johnny Hollywoods was such a cheap ass and wasn't gonna house cupcake in something a cockroach could live in they scorned Johnny Hollywood and talked about Him like a dog.
Johnny Hollywood still didn't have a care in the world
So He walks into this bar and finds a Ho doing the Jesus Christ Pose and He tells Her She looks like Kat Bejelland and His stalker comes over there and knocks princess down reaching for the pretzels.
So Johnny Hollywood has a light bulb go off in his brain, He'll just tell the peasant that He in fact is Latino and that they can just live in His Chevrolet.
So they go to Nazereth and apply for Crack Housing with free cable. Soon as they get to town Johnny F.N. Hollywoods takes to drinking with Sweet Bertha and Johnny Hollywoods Mamma's Welfare Caseworker
and then before He took one drink of beer His mind flashed back to that day when the bleach blonde first became His little sweety,They was picking chilis out in the field and She looked over at Him,No wait that wasn't Her,that was the Beauty Queen over at McDonalds.

The Cross Threaded Lesbian Mafia Union Leader was always one step behind Johnny Hollywoods to make sure He didn't have someones Granny sewing up no white wedding dress for any bleach blonde anerexiks
but did Johnny Hollywoods care? Well,the fact is that the lumberjack shirt the Leader of The Cross Threaded Lesbian Union was wearing was like camoflauge, He never even noticed.
-------------
:
-

our world is changing that is for sure
and what we ought not to seek is the
very thing we actively pursue and then
after we have caught it we then begin
to wonder why we are in the mess we
are in
-------------
Anonymous
-

titles aren't what's important
in fact its usually the first
and last lines of any paragraph
that are the what of what's try
ing to be said

I do not get it and I am grateful for that
because not getting it allows me to be free
from all the stress that is associated from
getting it ~ even its just sometimes
-------------
Anonymous
-

I wish to be in sync with you tonight
I have done everything right to make
my wish be known in the real world
there is no reason why it can't
come true unless of course you
aren't aware of why you feel
for me even after all of these years
and if this is the case then somehow
someway I must increase my thoughts
a percentage today
-------------
Anonymous
-

im going to bite even though I have no appetite
but what you say has peaked my curiousity
in many many ways that today for the first time
I am okay with the fact that blue candles are
used during the times you have stared at my
name penciled in disguise or the fact that
I never realized that hot was cold and cold
was hot or the fact that jane still says
she loves the finches for visiting her
when she lived near the creek filled with
black little triplets from Belleville or that
middle names have meanings for me about those
who I dated that share a resemblance to you
-------------
Anonymous
-

"One Stupid Dumbfuck And Miss Piggy Too"

One stupid dumbfuck and Miss Piggy too
makin' My life so happy
I don't know what to do
one stupid dumbfuck
alright maybe two
Miss Piggy Miss Piggy
what am I to do
I tried to love You Miss Piggy
but You ain't to bright
I look into Your eyes
I looked into the night
there we was in the crystal ball
Me and You Miss Piggy
gettin' schooled up
in the book of lunch
one stupid dumbfuck
and Miss Piggy too
cracking the case wide open
the investigations going good
Miss Piggy Miss Piggy
why You follow Me around
is it not by accident
do You wann get down?
don't bother Miss Piggy
I'll only break Your heart
leave You sad inside
tear Your mind apart
You have no ideal
what the fuck I can do
so go on Miss Piggy
before I fuck with You
Go on Miss Piggy leave me alone
I ain't done nothing
nothing that is wrong and if I do
I call You and confess
so go on home now Miss Piggy
and You get some rest
go on home Miss Piggy

One stupid dumbfuck
and Miss Piggy too
mind exercises extrodinaire
I been there long before You
better stop now Miss Piggy
if only for You
one stupid dumbfuck
let's not make it two
cut it out Miss Piggy
theres no question You could be inside anyones heart
the game will cost You way to much
leave while Your still sane
Leave Me baby
I don't care if You do
'cause I'm the devil
and Your My fool
one stupid dumbfuck
-------------
:
-

I Don't Care About That Big Ol' Ass"

I don't care about that big ol' ass
I don't care about Your hair
I don't care where You been last night
or why You don't use nair
I don't care Miss Piggy
why You been hurtin' Me
You took the stars outta the sky
You erased all My dreams
all i wanted was to snuggle with You
and watch Oprah a while
but You wanted Me to go chop wood
while You spend My monies welfare style
I don't care about that big ol' ass
You never gived Me no love
but I don't have a tape of myself last Tuesday night
but I know You do Hon
so if I could borrow it for just a little while
I'll make a copy of it and make it worth Your while
I don't care about that big ol' ass
it still looks good to Me
long as Your purse is bigger than it is
Your My soulbride d ream
-------------
The Cat Box Pollock
-

"Miss Piggy's Super Duper Secret Spy Cam"

Miss Piggys Super Duper Secret Spy cam
is aimed at Me
when I wanna get some leg of ham
I don't care Mother Fuckers
No I don't give a damn
'cause I loves Miss Piggy
and I'll sell out for a pork chop
when ever I can
come on Shoop shoop
Miss Piggy
can You see
My love ain't no scam
there ain't another I love as much as You
and You been stalking Me so long
You know Me better than could ever of have
Miss Piggys Super Duper Secret Spy Cam
got Me checking Her Cat Box
rewind it
I already have
-------------
The Fifth Cat Box Extra
-

"Miss Piggy Don't You Wanna Go?"

Miss Piggy don't You wanna go
down to the sea shore
and walk barefoot in the sand
hold My hand
be My girl
Miss Piggy won't You please
come on Miss Piggy
don't You wanna get with Me?
Miss Piggy don't You wanna go
I'll take You over to the dollar store
You can pick out something I don't know
Miss Piggy wanna look and see
if when I take a shit is it brown or green
hurry find out before Me
-------------
The Cat Box Overflow Cam
-

"I could listen to Miss Piggy Bitch all day"

I could listen to Miss Piggy bitch
all the live long day
never leave Her alone
Her Miss Piggyness I would never trade
for an anerexik that is a fucking whore
I only want Miss Piggy
I only want Her more
come on Miss Piggy
lets go alope
then I can get My dinner cooked
and My rags all washed up
I could listen to Miss Piggy
bitch all day
I know how to change Her mood
thats the truth I'm afraid
-------------
The Fifth Lord Of The Cat Box
-

"Guess It's My Turn To Milk Miss Piggy"

Guess it's My turn to milk Miss Piggy
this is such a treat
I been waiting night and day
for more than a week
finally My ship came in
the dice they landed on Me
it's time to play a wild card
I gotta milk Miss Piggy
Yes it's up to Me
I guess it's My turn
I'll spin the wheel and see
if My number comes up
this song is Mine and Miss Piggy's
I guess it's My turn
I guess it's My turn
I guess it's My turn
just Miss Piggy and Me
all night long
Miss Piggy can go on
all night long
put down that telephone

-------------
The Seventh Lord of the Cat Box
-

Microchipped Miss Piggy Stalker

Microchipped Miss Piggy Stalker
baby where You been
cheating on me with your husband
I hate Your guts for this
Microchipped Miss Piggy Stalker
run away with Me
well go to the places you ain't seen
and play code name honey bee
Microchipped Miss Piggy Stalker
bring a box of chicken to me
or else I can't woo you
at this locality
theres a microchip in Your brain
makes You act this way
they put it in there backwards
now I can't get laid
Microchipped Miss Piggy Stalker
give Me a kiss
I ain't gonna marry up to You now
because I am pissed
-------------
Doctor Catsburger L.S.D.
-

"Barefoot Cop Electric Bot"

Barefoot cop
electric bot
coming up the stairs
leavin' with my dna sample
if you want to split hairs
shes wet and shes got a lens
her files she always shares
she can be my roadie
shes built just like a bear
come on baby lift lift
give it the old one two
these speaker cabinets are very expensive
and they don't belong to you
-------------
Seizure 7th Chords
-

it may be stressful and hard to juggle but I wouldn't trade it for the world ... but still I love you even if you are far away from me
-------------
Anonymous
-

if you then not her and that does not sit right with me but I need you to know that forever is what I vow
to you when I say I love you
-------------
Anonymous
-

moe oh my what have I become
if not me then you this behaviour
has originated from the time I
met you until this very moment
I have always known it was you
to be the one and now everytime
I think there is you waiting for me
-------------
Anonymous
-

closure is what I need but never received
and this wasn't the result of not trying
because that is all I did
in those years that have now passed
into the past

my quest will never end
at the centre of my life
there it has always been
chasing wondering wanting
what never was meant to be

but yet in dreams I am so happy
that I begin to think it can work
with my quest eccentric art
but that in reality it cannot is
why I need closure once and for all ways
-------------
Anonymous
-

How I Love The Crack Whore

How I love the Crack Whore
I wish that She was mine
but She done got gone again
drives Me outta My mind
I would only cheat on Her with the Bartender
and the Movie Star
in fact never mind the Crack Whore
You could be My Girl
well not forever
just 'til My Mail Order Bride buys Me a beer
She wanted money for an aeroplane
I told Her ride a steel container of storage over Here
How I love the Crack Whore
told Her get a dress that was white
She came back with one that was Yeller
smelling like a cream pie
I said hold on little Crack Whore
where the dog You been
I hope You ain't been having quality time
with those other mens
What'd You do with that ring I gave You
I stole it just for You
I thought You was My soulmate
and You gave another Man My workboots
I need them this morning
How am I gonna go
make a litlle bit of Money
I'm 'bout to let You go
Come on Crack Whore Honey
hold Me real close
can You help Me find My wallet
it was here just a minute ago
-------------
Seizure 7th Chords
-

The Crack Whore didn't feed the chickens
She didn't slop the hogs
She didn't get the kids up for school
She was at the Meth lab all night long
Yes thats right
thats where She's been
the one right across the street
at night thats where She lives
The Crack Whore ain't done the dishes
She didn't war-sh up My clothes
She's been standing under the overpass
with them other Ho's
right at the end of that great big bridge
She'll probably catch Hepititus
if She keeps on like this
The Crack Whore didn't rake the leaves
She was sticking needles in Her arms
She can talk Me into driving Her anywheres
with all Her Crack Whore Charms
-------------
Seizue 7th Chords
-

"The Crack Whore Ran Off With The Preacher Man"

The Crack Whore ran off with the Preacher Man
She was wearing a little plaid skirt
She came back after She paid the Cable Bill
with a package of bacon
and made Me feel like dirt
I said to Her now baby
why'd You do the things You do?
I could of went down to Welfare
and put My name on the Medical Card with You
She said Welfare can't pay for My crack habit
and what My body needs
They say She already gots a big ol' case worker
that sure does love to eat
Crack Whore brought home the bacon
burnt it in the pan
wasn't paying attention
because She's outta Chore Boy again
The Preacher Man didn't cleanse Her
Cleanse Her of Her sins
in fact Her gave Her herpes
She thinks it was Him
then He took Her shopping
let Her carry the collection plate
I bet they'll be holding hands side by side
when they get to heaven's gate
The Crack Whore ran off with the Preacher Man
then She stole his teeth
tried to sell them at the pawn shop
or trade them for Government Cheese
Crack Whore Honey Baby
You been on the street to long
I won't say Your ugly
but all Your looks are gone
all first date was in the alley
You rememeber when I wrote You this poem
-------------
Seizure 7TH Chords
-

"I'm gonna woo the Crack Whore in Multiples Of Six"

I'm gonna woo the Crack Whore in multiples of six
once I get started
I don't think My love will end
I kinda miss the crack whore
let Me tell You why
She's best girl I ever had
from the day I was born 'til the day I die
I'm gonna woo the crack whore all night long
for days at a time or until She notices I'm broke
I'm gonna keep the Crack Whore keep Her all for mine
take Her to the highest mountian
sit and watch the sky
knock Her up to slow Her down
listen to Her lies
I'm gonna woo the crack Whore
not just once or twice
Six times this slut shall look into My eyes
I'm gonna woo the crack whore
and just like before
I'm gonna chow down a great big bowl of oatmeal
to have the enegry
to woo Her Six times more
-------------
"Seizure Seventh Chords
-

Happy Rat Acid Day
My Valentine Who re
-------------
:
-

Her Silverfish Kisses
are burning My eyes
The Little Crack Whore run off with another guy
Run off little Crack Whore
don't steal My work boots no more
I ain't gonna wait around for You by the backdoor
I gotta walk ten miles on broken shards of glass
You traded my work boots for a rock and threw in a piece of ass
I hope You never ever ever come back
come on back little crack whore
where did our love go
how about a happy ending
I seen You in the median getting traffic from both ways
and it was starting to snow
ain't they gots no Union
ain't You gots no rights
Your gonna get us kicked outta this trailer park
the pigs will kick in the door tonight
the health department was here yesterday
they was calling You a Ho
is it because I took Your Sister over to the Walmarts
that makes You act like this? I wanna know
I took Her down the alley
security was strong
She spent a pint of blood
on a peanut and a piece of Ivory soap
go little crack whore go
She whats to get with the tax man
but She's stuck with a troll
starting to look like Miss Piggy
except the Crack Whores Husband don't beat Her no more
No No No No No
baby
I know She'll be back She's coming right back here
I know
'cause She's like an old dog
You can't get rid of
eventually She'll be at the front door
come on Little Crack Whore
pick out Your Wedding Dress
I'm gonna gang bang You
all by Myself
-------------
:Seizure Seventh Chords
-

Seven Lesbian Sunday
-------------
Anonymous
-

I Don't Care If It Rains Or Shines
-------------
Anonymous
-

"What Has happened To The Weather Channel?"

What has happened to the weather channel?
the womens don't have it the breasts
I used to watch Hillary Andrews
Shes the one I like the best
what has happened to the weather channel
where has Hillary Andrews gone
I have started to miss Her so much
I wrote this lovely poem
What has happened to the weather channel
the womens don't have breasts
You pay all this money for the cable
might as well watch a pattern of test
the cutest one is Stephanie Abrams
I'm a man and I have a bigger chest
I could've been a meteorologist
I could give it a guess
look here at the map
the worlds not flat
but all the weather channel womens are
why?
why the censor why?
-------------
:
-

i will participate
for as long as
it takes me to shake
these words that seem
to come to me more so
after I have become baked
there is a time I believe
that I will be taken by
surprize when she makes
an offer I cannot fake
so either I vacate or
jump into her lake
fully awak e
-------------
Anonymous
-

I miss writing oh so cleverly
wondering will she or won't she
and how it should be or will we
free ourselves of this curiousity
when we are in another country or
is it just me who creates this fantasy
-------------
Anonymous
-

in trying to make another make sense of what we as individual's are trying to say when words come out of our mouth, we always liken our current thoughts to that of something else.
-------------
Anonymous
-

the guilt is pouring out of me
and this is not good because
I had so much planned tonight
but it is good because it means
that I have a conscience and so
here I sit on my teeter taughter
wondering what I should do whether
I should carry on and pluck at
the universal vibes or just leave
them alone and consider that although
I did not act it out, it still is and
would have been real enough to affect
the outcome and the target
-------------
Anonymous
-

I want to leave in the visitors to the liked man. We would go for a walk with him all day. Went in different interesting places. He would show me the city. Also he would show me sights. And then closer by evening we would arrive in his apartments and there there would be a hot night of love .

My ideal relationship:
I search the man, love of complete romanticism, tenderness, trust, kind, understanding and care about each other. I want to find such man, with which to lead all life and to have happy family. I want to feel care and help in a difficult situation from his party.

My past relationships:
earlier I had meet the man and think about love, but actually there were rather strange attitudes between us. There was no drop of trust and care. My heart was broken, and I have already thought, that I never can grow fond, but my friends and relatives speak me, that I am still very young "to bury" myself. I decide to continue search of the love, which will be with me all life in this
-------------
Anonymous
-

"I Wanna Do Some Cuddling With That Walmart Honeypie"

I wanna do some cuddling
with that Walmart Honeypie
wanna cuddle
really wanna cuddle
I wanna do some cuddling
with the one that caught My eye
wanna cuddle
really gotta cuddle
if I don't get to hold onto that great big ass
How am I gonna make Her mine
wanna cuddle
really wanna cuddle

I wanna do some cuddling
with that Walmart Honeypie
I don't think She loves Me
but I'm really gonna try
this time
gotta cuddle
have to cuddle
with that Walmart Honeypie
I could tell I been on the wrong track
every since I looked into Her eyes
wanna cuddle
really gotta cuddle
with that Walmart Honeypie
I'm afraid that if I go to sleep
I'm gonna dream about Her all night
without no cuddles
won't be no cuddles
and if I don't get to snuggling with Her
I think I'm gonna lose My mind
how 'bout it

I wanna do some cuddling
with that Walmart Honeypie
wanna cuddle
really wanna cuddle
I wanna do some cuddling
with the one that caught My eye
wanna cuddle
really gotta cuddle
if I don't never get a chance
How am I gonna make Her mine
wanna cuddle
really wanna cuddle
and if I don't get to see Her soon
I might as well go blind
'cause that Walmart Honey
whoa whooa yeah
that Walmart Honey
No Nooo yeah
that Walmart Honey
that Walmart Honeypie
sure looks fine
Shes got that little blue smock
Yes She's quite a fox
and She's got a nice wedding band
I would love to take Her to the pawn shop to hock
come on

I wanna do some cuddling
with that Walmart Honeypie
wanna cuddle
really wanna cuddle
I wanna do some cuddling
with the one that caught My eye
-------------
:
-

"Going To Go To Walmart,Find Me A Woman Right Now"

Going to go to Walmart
find Me a Woman,right now
Going to Walmart
going to go to Walmart

Going to go to Walmart
find Me a Woman,somehow
going to Walmart
gonna go to Walmart

Gonna find Me one thats cute
tell Her She's got nice boots
and see if She'll cook for Me

cook for Me
be My honey
save Me lots of money
do My laundry on a Friday night
take Me out drinking
that would be alright

Going to go to Walmart
find Me a Woman,right now
Going to Walmart
going to go to Walmart

Going to go to Walmart
find Me a Woman,somehow
going to Walmart
gonna go to Walmart

If I gotta look down every asile
'til I find one thats just My style
one that can make Me smile
when I look into Her eyes
that'll be the one thats mine

Going to go to Walmart
find Me a Woman,right now
Going to Walmart
going to go to Walmart

Going to go to Walmart
find Me a Woman,somehow
going to Walmart
gonna go to Walmart
-------------
:
-

Maybe it's time to break up with code name debraho
maybe I just don't know
all I'll have left is anne frank though
one and the same
time to break her code
yo yo
somethings gotta go her or me
I just don't know adios
-------------
Anonymous
-

life is slow
watching others live
Who owns You
Who is killing Me
Who has made sure the art has no life
-------------
Anonymous
-

We haven't learned
We haven't loved
We haven't lived

-------------
Anonymous
-

what do you mean we learned
I haven't learned a thing
since the day I was born
that is why I am in jail
-------------
Anonymous
-

Well,We learned not to complain if theres a hair in the food when Sweet Bertha cooks
in addition to the fact that sometimes its not so bad if You eat a napkin or two along with it .

-------------
:
-

My mind remains set
the girl stealing make up
I could fall in love

-------------
Catsburger
-

why can't a witch have babies?

















Because her husband has a halloweenie! HAH AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
-------------
Anonymous
-

"Code Name Bertha Nips"

Bertha Nips will be My password
Bertha Nips it shall be
Bertha Nips will be My password
remember that time She bit Me?

Bertha Nips code name Bertha Nips
open sesame
git off the run way
You anarexiks
Bertha means everything

Bertha Sweet Susie
Bertha Carmen Diaz
Bertha Jesus eleven Bertha Blues hour
Thank the bartender there ain't no Bertha Hightower

Saw Sweet Bertha at the "L" Stop
She was going the other way
I ran as fast as I could
to get on the Bertha Train

Is Your Sister a Female
it don't matter to Me
'cause I ain't looking at Her
stuck in this Bertha Dream
Bertha Big Bertha
would You be My bride to Be
I'll share My name with Yours
on the medical card
We will be Married in a Church
and on record down at Welfares
theres one thing Sweet Bertha
I hope I never see
the day You aint voted the Prettiest of the Womenfolk
in two outta three trailer parks in the greater Round Lake Area Bertha Baby Bertha Please
tell Me Your anerexic Sister's still just as cuddly

Bertha Nips will be My password
Bertha Nips it shall be
Bertha Nips will be My password
remember that time She bit Me?

Bertha Nips code name Bertha Nips
open sesame
git off the run way
You anarexiks
Bertha means everything
-------------
Saint Bertha Burger
-

"Your Caseworker and My Caseworker"

Your Caseworker and My Caseworker
went out for a three hour lunch
My Caseworker ate the last double stack at Wendy's
So Your Caseworker wanted to whoop Her Up
and down down down the block
My Caseworker stole Your Caseworkers
brand new welfare shoes
left Her crying at the bus stop
asked Me to borrow money too
My Caseworker and Your Caseworker
working that nine to five
watch 'em do the handbone
Man,Your Caseworker can shuck and jive
My Caseworker and Your Caseworker
gets a lot more shhecks than Me and You
So I never even dreamed My Caseworker would get me drunk
and take My wallet with thirteen dollars in it
and give My Id's to Her nizzles to use
to collect even more welfare
whats this project turning into
-------------
Seizure Seventh Chords
-

"L" Stop Bertha, How Come Your Cat Box Smelled The Way It Do?"

"L" Stop Bertha
How come Your Cat Box smelled the way it do
I know something ain't right
I think it's time We We're thru
"L" Stop Bertha
I know that somethings wrong
or You wouldn't been living on the "L" fer so very long
"L" Stop Bertha
I knowed Our love will last
if the next time You take My laundry down to the river to beat them with a rock til they're clean
You promise to war-sh Yer t ask
-------------
The Señor Berthaburger Band
-

"They call Me Señor Berthaburger over at the pawn shop"

They call Me Señor Berthaburger over at the pawn shop
'cause I sold Her rings and censorcrap
the day before She done run off
If I had known
that Microchip in Her head
was gonna 'cause Her to react that way
I never would have coveted to Bartender
and tipped Her 'til I only had change
They call Me Señor Berthaburger over at the pawn shop
because Sweet Bertha's television's in the window
I took Her over there Tuesday Evening
So She could watch cops
They call Me Señor Berthaburger
but theres nothing I can do to make them shut up
They call Me Señor Berthaburger over at the pawn shop
-------------
The Legendary Cat Box Poet Travis Ray Cole
-

"Brand New Bertha"

Got a brand new Bertha
better than all the Bertha's before
I know You don't believe Me
'cause I said that before
but this time it's for real
the truth must be told
this time it ain't no drill
this Brand New Bertha makes the Orignal Bertha
look cold
Got a brand new Bertha
the best one I ever did see
got a brand new Bertha
straight from a Bertha dream
Got a brand new Bertha
it's like She started over again
this here brand new Bertha
is the girl I loved for so long
got a brand new Bertha
thats how come I wrote this here brand new Bertha song
-------------
Señor Berthaburger
-

" "L" Stop Bertha Baby,Why'd You break My little Censorstain Of A Heart?"

"L" Stop Bertha Where'd You get them tokens
I been searchin' both lines fer You
"L" Stop Bertha Baby where'd You been
You stole Little Bertha's monies fer juice
"L" Stop Bertha You ain't been stayin' home
watching the soaps
Whilst I work the day thru
werk werk
werk werk it Bertha
I know You been giving lap dances
over at the fashion show
cause where else would a girl like You
get the money fer dope
"L" Stop Bertha
how come You
treated Me like You do
I never really woo-ed Yer Sister
not like I wanted to
So You had no call at tall
to steal My New Work Boots
and run off wit that man from the shelter
who looks like Don King,Bertha Boo
Sweet Bertha Sweet Bertha
hand Me down My gun
You won't break another feller's heart
could I get a drink from You
Bartender Bartender
give Me what I need
it might be tomorrow
god save the trees
"L" Stop Bertha
won't You come on back to Me
I'm gonna break Your heart one time
for what You done to Me
I love You "L" Stop Bertha
I'll make You My last stop
cause Yer kisses don't taste like scones no more
and I knowed You ain't no cop
"L" Stop Bertha Baby Why'd You break My little Censorstain of a Heart
I waited all day for You to plow the fields around
and fetch My vittles like a good wife
I find You here in the alley with another Man
pushing His three wheeled cart
this morn I caught a glimpse of You
looks like You been shaving in the dark
"L" Stop Bertha
Your love can't last that long
cause His shheck done run out
and that Nizzle is broke
"L" Stop Bertha
all You love is gone
You might as well flush it
I wouldn't hang on no more
-------------
Señor Catsburger and the poetry stinks band
-

"The Same Ol' Da Ho had more coon skin in 'er than a Urinal at the Welfare Office Blues"

Da Ho had more coon skin in 'er than a urinal at the welfare office

She don't be sharing Her shheck wit Me

Da Ho had more coon skin in 'er than a urinal at the welfare office

She don't be sharing Her shheck wit Me

She gots a Man gots a Big Ol' Caseworker

She's outta Goverment Cheese


Da Ho had more coon skin in 'er than a urinal at the welfare office

She don't be sharing Her shheck wit Me

Da Ho had more coon skin in 'er than a urinal at the welfare office

She don't be sharing Her shheck wit Me

She gots a Man gots a Big Ol' Caseworker
don't come back from lunch 'til three

come on baby
give Me them blues
come on baby
take off them Welfare shoes
I see You been mishedginating
stole the foodstamp I had saved for You's
seen You on the corner
and don't ask why
seen Your Momma on the corner
thought I was gonna go blind
took Her to the pawn shop
to sell what was mine


Da Ho had more coon skin in 'er than a urinal at the welfare office

She don't be sharing Her shheck wit Me

Da Ho had more coon skin in 'er than a urinal at the welfare office

She don't be sharing Her shheck wit Me

She gots a Man gots a Big Ol' Caseworker

She's outta Goverment Cheese


Da Ho had more coon skin in 'er than a urinal at the welfare office

She don't be sharing Her shheck wit Me

Da Ho had more coon skin in 'er than a urinal at the welfare office

She don't be sharing Her shheck wit Me

She gots a Man gots a Big Ol' Caseworker
don't come back from lunch 'til three

bring it on home
-------------
The best cat box poet in this here trailer park
-

"The Same Ol' Da Ho had more coon skin in 'er than a Urinal at the Welfare Office Blues"

Da Ho had more coon skin in 'er than a urinal at the welfare office

She don't be sharing Her shheck wit Me

Da Ho had more coon skin in 'er than a urinal at the welfare office

She don't be sharing Her shheck wit Me

She gots a Man gots a Big Ol' Caseworker

She's outta Goverment Cheese


Da Ho had more coon skin in 'er than a urinal at the welfare office

She don't be sharing Her shheck wit Me

Da Ho had more coon skin in 'er than a urinal at the welfare office

She don't be sharing Her shheck wit Me

She gots a Man gots a Big Ol' Caseworker
don't come back 'til three

come on baby
give Me them blues
come on baby
take off them Welfare shoes
I see You been mishedginating
stole the foodstamp I had saved for You's
seen You on the corner
and don't ask why
seen Your Momma on the corner
thought I was gonna go blind
took Her to the pawn shop
to sell what was mine


Da Ho had more coon skin in 'er than a urinal at the welfare office

She don't be sharing Her shheck wit Me

Da Ho had more coon skin in 'er than a urinal at the welfare office

She don't be sharing Her shheck wit Me

She gots a Man gots a Big Ol' Caseworker

She's outta Goverment Cheese


Da Ho had more coon skin in 'er than a urinal at the welfare office

She don't be sharing Her shheck wit Me

Da Ho had more coon skin in 'er than a urinal at the welfare office

She don't be sharing Her shheck wit Me

She gots a Man gots a Big Ol' Caseworker
don't come back 'til three

bring it on hom e
-------------
The best cat box poet in this here trailer park
-

life is short
leave it alone
sometimes it's better
with no Ho upon the cross
when the line gets to long
of who to wait forever for
when theres nothing in the soul
wasted yesterdays
born wrong
unworthy of goodbyes
who am I to lunch
-------------
:
-

I am back again believe it or not
and this time I want to be caught
for your attention to me
is every bit worth the risk
to even get another brief kiss
and if it does not pan out
between you and me just know
that it will always be you
that I miss that just is
and forever will be

-------------
Anonymous
-

someone's having a birthday tomorrow... ;~)
-------------
Anonymous
-

What do You
-------------
;
-

Lesbion Holla
-------------
'
-

With the way your mind thinks
it makes me want to drink
until my liver turns pink

D*****, M***, I love you
-------------
Anonymous
-

listen to you complain
puppeteer and manipulate me
your fantasy
-------------
:
-

listen to you complain
puppeteer and manipulate me
you fantasy
-------------
Anonymous
-

You the reason we have nothing
Your minds funny
you stalk
-------------
Anonymous
-

"Sweet Bertha run off with a Wino
that lives in a box on Lower Wacker Drive"

Sweet Bertha run off with a Wino
that lives in a box on Lower Wacker Drive
He used to live in a hole under the sidewalk on Madison
with a recently parolled bulldyke
She ain't got no check
at least not yet
So it's a wonder that they're still alive
Sweet Bertha run off with a Wino
they gots no where to reside
Sweet Bertha run off with a Wino
He asked Her to be His Bride
Sweet Bertha's a Freaking Animal
to break this heart of mine
-------------
Travis Ray Cole
-

"When I First Heard Sweet Bertha On The Radio
I Was Woo-ing Her Albino Sister"



When I first Heard Sweet Bertha on the radio
I was woo-ing Her Albino Sister
it wasn't until Her record hit
is when I begat to start to miss Her
When I first heard Sweet Bertha on the radio
I was holding onto an electric solo inspiration
with leads that burn inside Your brain
with bright colors
past the urgency of red

When We first heard Sweet Bertha's song
from then it didn't take Me long
to forget about the art
My navigational system was set on

So I thought about Sweet Bertha's bank accounts
and it was then I started to doubt
the sincerarity of Her Super Model Albino Sibling's
vow's upon which We no longer agreed

You know I'm digging Sweet Bertha's groove now
'cause My love is a sell out
Her groupies worship Me when
I get to carry Her speaker

When I first heard Sweet Bertha on the radio
I was woo-ing Her Albino Sister
the D.J. talked over part of it
I was getting an Eskimo kiss
She referred to Me as an S.O.B.
because I never even missed Her

Sweet Bertha's Sister's love
was worth living fer
I would have went to work
came home and did all the chores
if I could get Her to do My war-sh
down by the river
or in a five gallon bucket on the porch
I'd lose the number of the Escort Service
thier more burnette obease Sister works for

When I first Heard Sweet Bertha on the radio
I was woo-ing Her Albino Sister
it wasn't until Her record hit
is when I begat to start to miss Her
When I first heard Sweet Bertha on the radio
I was holding onto an electric solo inspiration
with leads that burn inside Your brain
with bright colors
past the urgency of red

When We first heard Sweet Bertha's song
from then it didn't take Me long
to forget about the art
My navigational system was set on
-------------
Travis Ray Cole
-

"The Sweet Bertha Done Run Off With An Illegal
Immigrant Who Has Not Yet Been Checked Out On The French Fry Machine Blues"


Sweet Bertha done run off with an Illegal Immigrant
who has not yet been checked out on the french fry machine
They won't let Him work the window
'cause He's not used to U.S. Currencies
He pushed a broom around the parking lot
emptied out garbage cans
He works Eighty-Five hours a week
Now She wants to put His name first on Her Medical card

Sweet Bertha never passed no Constitution
Don't even know what one is
Sweet Bertha never passed no Constitution
'cause in Fifth Grade She quit
greaseball can't speak english
but He can tell You about George Washington

Sweet Bertha done run off with an Illegal Immigrant
who has not yet been checked out on the french fry machine
They won't let Him work the drive-up window
'cause He's not used to U.S. Currencies
He pushed a broom around the rest room
cleaned out the stalls
put a new mint in the urinal
Now She wants to put His name first on Her Medical card

Sweet Bertha never passed no Constitution
Don't even know what one is
Sweet Bertha never passed no Constitution
'cause in Fifth Grade She quit
greaseball can't speak english
but He can tell You more than School House Rock can
-------------
Travis Ray Cole
-

"Sweet Bertha's Case Worker gived Her dem Welfare frames"

Sweet Bertha's Case Worker gived Her dem Welfare frames
She sure looks nice
makes My heart beat again
Sweet Bertha's Case Worker gots Her stylin'
like Superman sauce
I could get lost
in Her eyes
could You tell Me lies
Sweet Bertha's Case Worker
done Me a favor
Sweet Bertha's Welfare frames
are just My flavor
Sweet Bertha's Case Worker gived Her dem welfare frames
I wanna get some to
So You can see I paid My dues
and signed up for public aid
Sweet Bertha's Case Worked gived Her Da Schwing
Sweet Bertha's Case Worker
knows art when she sees it
'cause Sweet Bertha done went libiarian now
looks real high tempature
She's got the Superman on Welfare Weezer look going on
-------------
Travis Ray Cole
-

"The Sweet Bertha ran off with the Cablemans Helper
the Third day of our Marriage Blues"



Sweet Bertha ran off with the cablemans helper
the third day of our Marriage

Sweet Bertha ran off with the cablemans helper
the third day of our Marriage

I didn't really care that She pawned the wedding ring
to buy crack to smoke with that Mother Censor
but She stopped making My lunches
-------------
Travis Ray Cole
-

"Sweet Bertha's looking down the bar at Me
'cause Her glass is 'bout empty"

Sweet Bertha's looking down the bar at Me
wake Me up this must be a dream
Sweet Bertha's looking down the bar at Me
'cause Her glass is 'bout empty

She's drinking Cranberry and Vodka in a big ol' glass
costs Seven dollars worth more than Sweet Bertha's past
how'd I get mixed up in this
She already showed Me She ain't got no tips

Sweet Bertha's looking,looking down the bar at Me
Her back rubs are all that I need
I'd like to thank the Bartender for introducing Her to Me
Sweet Bertha's looking down the bar at Me
'cause Her glass is empty

Come on Sweet Bertha lets go
out to the parking and get to know
what reasons You might have for drinking so much Cranberry

Sweet Bertha's My only chance
what 'til Shes finished with that dance
I'll buy Her all the Cranberry juice that this place has
Sweet Bertha Sweet Sweet Bertha
Sweet Bertha Sweet Sweet Bertha

Sweet Bertha's looking down the bar at Me
I'm looking away 'cause I don't know what this will cost Me
Sweet Bertha's looking this way
putting on lipgloss smiling and winking
Sweet Bertha's looking down the bar at Me
Sweet Bertha's looking down the bar at Me
Sweet Bertha's coming this way
hoping Her luck will change
Sweet Bertha's looking down the bar at Me
'cause Her glass is 'bout empty
-------------
Travis Ray Cole
-

Rebertha
-------------
:
-

"One Big Bertha Blur"

Bleach blonde or albino everyone I see
they all look like Bertha to me
Miss Piggy,Helen Hunt or Carmen Diaz
how could this be

one big Bertha blur
hurts My eyes for sure
I can't get away from this girl
all around the world

extra large medium or small
big boned skinny obease
hungry anarexic complete
they all look like Bertha My sweet
-------------
Senor Catsburger
-

"Sweet Bertha's Collard Greens Burnt On The Engine"

Sweet Bertha growed Her own collard greens
even slopped them hogs
added beef necks to Her beans
instead of fat backs She cooked Her dog
mixed up the corn bread
burnt it on the engine of Her John Deere
instead of wearing deodorant You know She cleaned the stalls
wrapped in foil fresh roadkill
made Her own mild sauce
danced around in Her overalls
with the strap sliding down
like She was an exotic dancer
smelt like cole slaw
Sweet Bertha cooked up them collard greens
on the engine as She plowed the fields around
watching Oprah on Satellite Dish
reading Cosmo listening to the boss
Sweet Bertha breaded the collard greens
then deep fried them all
in a french fry machine made out of a grease bong
-------------
Doctor Catsburger
-

Where The Hell Are You?"

Where the hell are You?
How come You never call?
just because I changed the number
is no excuse at all
Your not trying enough
You have put forth no effort
none that I ever saw
where the hell are You
-------------
:
-

"Trying To Get To Welfare Get A New Pair Of Shoes"

Trying to get to Welfare get a new pair of shoes
get over to housing get a place to live too
they said I had to wait seven long years
but in the meantime I could move in with My Caseworker
'cause Shes nicer than You's

Trying to get a yob,but works is down
I been appling all over town
all the yobs are taken by the illegals
maybe I could steal something and go to jail now

Trying to get to Welfare get a new pair of shoes
get over to housing get a place to live too
they said I had to wait seven long years
but in the meantime I could move in with My Caseworker
'cause Shes nicer than You's

living with My caseworker ain't that fun
She eats up all the government cheese and other foodstuffs
She makes a big mess never cleans nothing up
then She told Her Sister not to give Me any love

Trying to get to Welfare get a new pair of shoes
get over to housing get a place to live too
they said I had to wait seven long years
but in the meantime I could move in with My Caseworker
'cause Shes nicer than You's
-------------
Travis Ray Cole
-

"Dem Whores Is On Welfare And The Taxpayers Won't Babysit"

Dem Whores is on welfare and the taxpayers won't babysit
Dem whores is on welfare and the taxpayers won't babysit
tax payers will pay for it but they won't babysit
No there ain't nobody watching them little receiptants

one time

dem whores can't watch thier kids 'cause they gots to go a whorin'
dem whores can't be parental 'cause they ain't got the time
what with cashing in thier link card to get a nickel or a dime
finding the kids a new Daddy all the time

Dem Whores is on welfare and the taxpayers won't babysit
Dem whores is on welfare and the taxpayers won't babysit
tax payers will pay for it but they won't babysit
No, ain't nobody watching them little receiptants

When they gets old enough daycare will watch them all day
when they gets old enough daycare will watch them all day
but who's gonna watch them in the night
when dem whores has got to get them a brand new Daddy
-------------
:
-

"Them Ol' Johnny Hollywoods Welfare Caseworker Only Gives Him Enough To Buy Dope For One Week Outta The Month Blues"


Johnny Hollywoods Welfare Caseworker Only Gives Him Enough To Buy Dope For One Week Outta The Month

Johnny Hollywoods Welfare Caseworker Only Gives Him Enough To Buy Dope For One Week Outta The Month

He told Her He was buying dope for two now
but She don't give a Mother lunch

goin' down to Welfares
takes to long for Me
goin' down to Welfares
takes to long for Me
I got Me a big ol' Caseworker
I been waiting here to see

She's been on lunch three hours
that girl can eat
Shes been on lunch for three hours
I tell ya that girl can eat
She said sorry it took so long
I had to sell My link card to go to Mickey D's

Johnny Hollywoods Welfare Caseworker Only Gives Him Enough To Buy Dope For One Week Outta The Month

Johnny Hollywoods Welfare Caseworker Only Gives Him Enough To Buy Dope For One Week Outta The Month

He told Her He was buying dope for two now
but She don't give a Mother lunch
-------------
:
-

"Sweet Bertha's Cable Bill Is Due Work Song Blues"

I worked all day long in the hot sun
busting rocks with a sledge hammer

I worked all day long in the hot sun
busting rocks with a sledge hammer

so Sweet Bertha and another man can sit and watch My cable
well now the bill is due
and Sweet Bertha's got a man
ain't brought nothing to the table

I'm gonna let them shut it off
or quit My job and let the taxpayers pay it
take Sweet Bertha and Her Nizzle down to the welfare
see if She can get a better offer

Git along Sweet Bertha
take the television wit ya
Git along Sweet Bertha
take the television wit ya's
don't come back 'round here
'cause I ain't wanting to get with Ya
-------------
Doctor Berthaburger
-

"The Sweet Bertha took the dang pastry forks to the pawn shoppe Blues"



Sweet Bertha took the dang pastry forks to the pawn shoppe
bought a big ol' bottle of J.D. and a carton of Basics
Sweet Bertha took the dang pastry forks to the pawn shoppe
bought a big ol' bottle of J.D. and a carton of Basics
then She went over to the dollar store
and turned tricks all day for a skimpy little outfit

Sweet Bertha Sweet Bertha
why'd You give me the blues
Sweet Bertha Sweet Bertha
why'd You give me these blues
I never did You wrong
tell Me what'd I do

Sweet Bertha took the dang pastry forks to the pawn shoppe
bought a big ol' bottle of J.D. and a carton of Basics
Sweet Bertha took the dang pastry forks to the pawn shoppe
bought a big ol' bottle of J.D. and a carton of Basics
then She went over to the dollar store
and turned tricks all day for some satanic candles

Sweet Bertha Sweet Bertha
why'd You give me the blues
Sweet Bertha Sweet Bertha
why'd You give me these blues
I never did You wrong
tell Me what'd I do

Sweet Bertha took the dang pastry forks to the pawn shoppe
bought a big ol' bottle of J.D. and a carton of Basics
Sweet Bertha took the dang pastry forks to the pawn shoppe
bought a big ol' bottle of J.D. and a carton of Basics
then She went over to the dollar store
and turned tricks all day for some of them discount womens hygiene products

Sweet Bertha Sweet Bertha
why'd You give me the blues
Sweet Bertha Sweet Bertha
why'd You give me these blues
I never did You no wrong
and I sure was nice to Your Sisters too
-------------
Broken Little Shitstain of a Heart
-

"Guess Thats Why They Call It The Crappernet"

You search for something that slightly makes sense
it takes three days and You never find it
You go to sleep waiting,wake up and forget
Guess Thats Why They Call It The Crappernet
theres nothing on there but crap
You have got to admit
tons of garbage,plenty of it
Guess Thats Why They Call It The Crappernet
did You mean censor crap
did You mean waste of time
did You mean it sucks
Guess Thats Why They Call It The Crappernet
-------------
Señor Catsburger
-

"Trixie Recycles"

Trixie washes out the soil after each use
doesn't remember You
doesn't know the truth
have to get todays dope money
one more time
recycled protection
She forgot about Her fine

Trixie Recycles
Trixie Recycles
Trixie Recycles
She'll save the world someday

Trixie gots some choreboy and a little bit of soap
got to get the money up get some more dope
She'll never come clean She never shuts up
the rehab didn't work
She always steals from us

Trixie Recycles
Trixie Recycles
Trixie Recycles
She'll save the world someday


Trixie gots the Health Department following Her around
refreshing the supply
they know where She can be found
they keep a record
tagged Her with a microchip so they can track Her down

Trixie Recycles
Trixie Recycles
Trixie Recycles
She'll save the world someday
-------------
The World Reknown Cat Box Poet
-

"Sweet Betrha Left Me All Alone On Our Wedding Night"

Sweet Bertha,Sweet Bertha
Why'd You abandon Me
going out to croakee
I know You are cheating

Sweet Bertha,Sweet Bertha
in the middle of the honeymoon
You got other Mens buying You drinks
and passed out in the parking lot 'til noon

The Sweet Bertha Solo

Sweet Bertha,Sweet Bertha
What am I to believe
Your Sisters dance cards not empty
and You done left Me

Sweet Bertha,Sweet Bertha
the chickens ain't been fed
I'm going into town now
to See if Your Sisters still wearing red

Sweet Bertha,Sweet Bertha
You told the preacher Your lies
took off with the D.J.
never even gave us a try
-------------
:
-

"I Left Sweet Bertha At The Truck Stop"

I left Sweet Bertha at the truck stop
said it isn't Me it's You
I done left Sweet Bertha at the truck stop
said it isn't Me it's You
Momma came along and saved Her and Her luggage
took Her to the Psych Ward at Saint Therese
later they transfered Her out to Lambs Farm
-------------
Travis Ray Cole
-

"Sweet Bertha's An Ornery Drunk"

Sweet Bertha's An Ornery Drunk
She tore up the trailer right before lunch
She was talking real nice to that Welfare Feller
then She danced on the bar and He gave Her a buck

Sweet Bertha's an ornery drunk
She threw My pappys car into park and messed it up
punched Me in the nose made it bleed at once
its almost as if She don't care that much

Sweet Bertha's An Ornery Drunk
She caught Me woo-ing Her Sister
and stole Her make up
now She's as cute as Her Sister was

Sweet Bertha's An Ornery Drunk
-------------
Travis Ray Cole
-

"Johnny Hollywoods Welfare Caseworker's Been At tHe Meth Lab To Long"

Johnny Hollywoods Welfare Caseworker's Been At tHe Meth Lab To Long
I thought we was gonna watch the ball game
but You wanna sing Your Caseworker song
I'm a crazy Mother Censor
and You mess with Me
You ain't gonna win
Johnny Hollywoods Welfare Caseworker
gave the bartender a spin
Johnny Hollywoods Welfare Caseworker
My Nizzle You shouldn't drive
its really not that far
and You won't have to tell the PO PO's Your li es
-------------
:
-

"Johnny Francis Nicolas Hollywoods Welfare Caseworker Helps Him Pay Them Bills"

Johnny Hollywoods Welfare Caseworker
helps him pay them bills
comes over to watch the black and white television
eats up all the cheese
Johnny Hollywoods Welfare Caseworker
gave him Cat Box Scurvy
combined all his debts into one and added enough for the caseworker to buy the Bertha Meds and party for two weeks outta the month the other two weeks it can get ugly

Johnny Hollywoods Welfare Caseworker
helps him pay them bills
wants to "Move It On Up" someday
when He gets the upstairs maid off the pills

Johnny Hollywoods Welfare Caseworker
ate up all the food in the fridge
won't go home 'til Tuesday
run off with His wife

Johnny Hollywoods Welfare Caseworker
bought the beersch one day
got everybody sloppy drunk
dug thru the couch for change

Johnny Hollywoods Welfare Caseworker
took us all to Vegas so we could lose our ass
then Johnny Hollywoods Welfare Caseworker
pawned the television soon as We got back

Johnny hollywoods Welfare Caseworker answered the phone when the bill collectors called
told them He wasn't working
but they could come over for some beans if they promised not to eat it all

We all seen hard times
Johnny Francis Nicolas Hollywood did say
can You help a Nizzle out
all I'm asking for is change

Johnny Hollywoods Welfare Casworker
wasn't wearing Walmart shoes
She wasn't drinking draft beersch
but She had the Generic blues

Where did You get those blues
Sweet Bertha had to say
"I got these blues from Travis Ray Cole"
He lives them everyday

it's like that
-------------
:
-

"Sweet Bertha,Sweet Bertha When You Get Your Shheck?"

Sweet Bertha,Sweet Bertha
when You get Your shheck
Sweet Bertha,Sweet Bertha
I'm gonna put You in check
How come You'd run off with the man
from over at the Salvation Army
How come You won't cook them oats
sittin' in the jail house eating chicken bologna
guess thats the way it goes

Sweet Bertha, Sweet Bertha
wait til' shheck day gets here
I'll see You over at the Polish bar
spending it all on Johnny F.N. Hollywoods Welfare
Cas eworker
-------------
Anonymous
-

"The Time I Forgot Sweet Bertha's Badge Number"

The Time I Forgot Sweet Bertha's Badge Number
She cuffed My to My dreams
The Time I Forgot Sweet Bertha's Badge Number
She ate My Boston Creme Doughnut
then She searched Me and found a picture of Gina in My shoe
-------------
:
-

"Johnny F.N. Hollywoods Welfare Caseworker's Caseworker Stole My Ol' Workboots"


Johnny F.N. Hollywoods Welfare Caseworker's Caseworker Stole My Ol' Workboots

Johnny F.N. Hollywoods Welfare Caseworker's Caseworker Stole My Ol'Workboots

all She ever left Me was a can of Sardines,a box of grits
and an expired link card

She took all the spoons too

I had to work barefoot
in the Sun and the rain
I said I had to work barefoot
in the snow til My feet bleed
and it don't look good
there ain't no future and there ain't no raise

Bossman Bossman
take Me down to Welfare
would You please

Bossman Bossman
take Me over to Welfare
won't You please

I'm looking for Johnny F.N. Hollywoods Welfare Caseworker's Caseworker
get My ol' workboots back
She had no right to bar-ree them from Me

I had to werk for five long weeks
Sweet Bertha didn't make me no lunches
in fact We no longer speak

Johnny F.N. Hollywoods Welfare Caseworker's Caseworker Stole My New Workboots

Johnny F.N. Hollywoods Welfare Caseworker's Caseworker Stole My New Workboots

then She pawned the television
said it was to feed the kids

Johnny F.N. Hollywoods Welfare Caseworker's Caseworker
why'd You lie to Me?

Johnny F.N. Hollywoods Welfare Caseworker's Caseworker
why'd You lie to Me

I knowed the D.C.F.S. took Your Chillin's
when You was on that shit and then made You work this yob

Johnny F.N. Hollywoods Welfare Caseworkers Caseworker
give Me back My shoes
Johnny F.N. Hollywoods Welfare Caseworkers Caseworker
give me back My shoes
I got a blister on My toes I got three of them one My heel
and I don't even care

I'm gonna find Me a little blonde
next time I go to Welfare
I'm gonna find Me a little blonde
next time We go to Welfare
one with a different Caseworker
one that knows how to share
-------------
Travis Ray Cole
-

"The Leader of the Cross Threaded Lesbian Mafia Union Done Stole My Red Head Away"

The Leader of the Cross Threaded Lesbian Mafia Union Done Stole My Red Head Away
said She was gonna be counting Her freckles
ever since then my love lifes changed
the leader of the Cross Threaded Lesbian Mafia Union
done broke my little pooh stain of a heart
stepped on it
kicked it across the floor
let me tell it was smarts
-------------
:
-

"The Trouble With The Movie Star"

The trouble with the Movie Star
is She be having junk in the trunk
buts its all good
wish it was an eye test
yep on this here island
I think thats the best
touble with that thar Movie Star
ain't no trouble at all
-------------
:
-

"The Crackwhore Wants Twenty Dollars To Get Married Up"

The Crackwhore wants twenty dollars to get married up
and She be gettin' a bigger shheck than that
if we's can git a hold it 'fore She smokes it up
maybe You kids can git fat
the crackwhore wants twenty dollars
said She needs new shoes
starts a new yob tomorrow at the drive up wind der
steals from the register foo
the Crackwhore wants twenty dollars
gots a wedding dress thats black
its not chicken resistant
but She does look good in it
The Crackwhore wants twenty dollar
and I got lots a kin
I'm gonna get gifts left and right
so it's win win
The Crackwhore needs that money
and next week her shheck comes in
She'll be out smoking it up
and we'll go down to Aldi's with Her link card again
-------------
Travis Ray Cole
-

Them mean ol' Po Po's burnt Sweet Bertha's Brothel down
now She ain't got nowheres to work
gotta sleep over at the Church
You know that She was uninsured
them mean ol' Po Po's don't even care
they beat her up at the bus stop
said the streets ain't clean enough
and pulled out some of Her pretty hair

Them mean ol' Po po's burnt Sweet Bertha's Brothel down
they burnt it down to the ground
She's ain't got no yob can't get unemployment
and Her stash is gone 'cause thats the first thing that they found
sheet
-------------
:
-

"Johnny Hollywoods Welfare Caseworker and His Momma Too"

Johnny Hollywoods Welfare Caseworker
and Johnny Hollywoods Momma was out front the trailer drinking forties and shootin' dice
they be bettin' link cards
in this project tonight
Johnny Hollywoods Welfare Caseworker went to get a rock
whilest Johnny Hollywoods Momma abused the prostitutes on probation and done scolded the ones on parole
like she won't gonna stop
its hard fer them to make money Momma
with two blck eyes
said Miss Trixie cause Her brain has been deep fried
I coulda been a landscaper
bought a new pair of shoes
but My pimp hands stong
and You Ho's be owin' Me too
Johnny Hollywoods Momma began to explain
then She big slapped Sweet Bertha
like She'd gone insane

Momma put the automatic weapons away
put down that rocket launcher
that won't make the cat box scurvy go away
Johnny Hollywoods problems will be collectively more than great
if you go to the big house and the tax bill is late cause Johnny Hollywoods is working the french fry machine and hasn't seen none of that rock and roll MTV green

Johnny Hollywoods Welfare Caseworker lost it all
right as the Po Po showed with a wrecking ball
now She's five months preganet and only gets seven shhecks in seven different names
its gonna be a rough winter
right up 'til p ayday
-------------
Travis Ray Cole
-

"Your Wifes O.K. If You Don't Look At Her Face,And Drink A Lot"

Your wifes o.k.
if You don't look at her face
and drink a lot
and drink a lot

She's changed Her ways
tomorrows another day
you gonna have to think a lot
-------------
Anonymous
-

hello to the guy in yellow who seems to be a nice mellow fellow during the time when he eats jello
-------------
Anonymous
-

"Miss Piggy Lives At The Meth Lab"

Miss Piggy lives at the Meth Lab
Her Husband is a Queen
She gots a great big link card
buys them Lean Cusine
learned Her A,B,C's in this here Trailer Park
spends Her nights right next door where the grass is always green
Miss Piggy lives at the Meth Lab
says that helps Her think
took an Xray of Her brain
it was drained quicker than the kitchen si nk
-------------
:
-

"Miss Piggy Lives At The Meth Lab"

Miss Piggy lives at the Meth Lab
Her Husband is a Queen
She gots a great big link card
buys them Lean Cusine
learned Her A,B,C's in this here Trailer Park
spends Her nights right next door where the grass is always green
Miss Piggy lives at the Meth Lab
says that helps Her think
took an Xray of Her brain
it was drained quicker than the kitchen si nk
-------------
:
-

"Do You Play Basket ball?"

Dance Libiarian dream
shake it shake it
one time for me
never mind Your Sister
Your the one for Me
everything anyone could ever want
intoxicating
-------------
Doctor Catsburger
-

"Strech Marks Upon Thy Movie Star"

When I look towards the art
when I see the last American dream
blonde hair blinds My eyes
like a bullet in my brain
mind funk recieved
-------------
Travis Ray Cole
-

"Dang That Ellen Can Dance"

Dang that Ellen can dance
the lumberjack Ladies have not a chance
wearing thier flannel shirts
playing bingo and counting My Red Head's Freckles
in the name of the Cross Threaded Lesbian Mafia Union's Church
look at them slacks
I believe Se should win a plaque
Dang I tell Ya
that Ellen can dance
Shaking all She has
-------------
Travis Ray Cole
-

"Take My Hand My Oprah"

You look like My Caseworker
but You have a better smell
when You look through the screen
You make it My heart swell
I want to be Your Landscaper
I want to taste Your treats
take My hand My Oprah
to Me You are My everything
take My hand My Darling
My Oprah please
take My hand My Oprah
pucker up for Me
-------------
Travis Ray Cole
-

Key to Ugly

royalty isn't pretty
lies send You to sleep
what have You signed up to
embaressment is che ap
-------------
:
-

"The Mayors Daughter needs a ride to Curves"

The Mayors Daughter needs a ride to Curves
this is what I learned
She bought Me a Fireturd
with a four cylinder and a new dashboard
I told Her Sister She Looked alright
She let Me hold Her purse for Her at the Mall that night
I only had to drink Seventeen beersch before I agreed to make Her mine
The Mayors Daughter asked Me to shave Her back
two packs of razors later I was calling Sweet Bertha collect asking why She had to treat Me so bad
She said She already had another man
and She gave Him all the equiptment that My band ever had

I said at least I still got My songs
She said they was really poems
but nobody agreed with that
-------------
Travis Ray Cole
-

"Johnny Hollywoods Went Down To Welfares To Find A New Mom For The Kids Again"

Johnny Hollywoods went down to Welfares to find a new Mom for the kids again
Grandma Said it might be a sin
the Preachermans Daughter wanted to be His Who Who Girl
and She could realy sing it
but Monday morning
Johnny Hollywoods went down to Welfares to find a New Mom for the kids again
He came back with Sweet Bertha's Caseworker
He got Her a thift store wedding dress and hurried on over to the Church with Her
The Preachermans Wife said the Dress was soiled
The Preachermans Daughter said Sweet Berthas Casewoker was spoiled
So the Mayor gave Johnny Hollywoods the Key to the City and His Daughter and never mentioned Her boils
Whats Johnny Hollywoods going to do
it's politics He's gotten into
and now He has to jump thru the hoops
and act like a fool
-------------
Travis Ray Cole
-

"Johnny Hollywoods Called The Escort Service To Get A New Mom For The Kids"

Johnny Hollywoods called the Escort service to get a new Mom for the kids
They said they didn't have an Albino Anerexik
so He should forget it to begin with
He wanted his war-shin done
He thought that would be fun
Johnny Hollywoods called the Escort service to get a new Mom for the kids

Johnny Hollywoods called the Escort asking for a red head with the freckles in a Gretyl costume with a great big purse
they sent him the leader of the cross threaded lesbian mafia union,She was dressed like a lumber jack and missing a tooth.
Johnny Hollywoods called the Escort service asking for a red head with freckles in a Gretyl costume with a great big purse

Johnny Hollywoods called the Escort service and asked for a maid named Heidi
they said they didn't have a Goddess
Johnny Hollywoods went to the crossroads
made a deal with Satan and sold his soul and forgot us

stole the girl from the runways diamonds and gold
and woke up from a night mare about a suma wrastler
lady from the trailer park whose breathe smelt like mold
but it was the only woman that He knowed

Johnny Hollywoods called the escort service and asked for a nice bartender
dressed in red and white like it was the hottest day in December alright
He said He wanted to help Her drink
if She could bring Him something from the sink
He told Her She looked pretty and She didn't even have to wear pink
She left Him alone one night
to powder Her nose and put make up on Her eyes
when a dried up bar rag came over to tell him Her lies
when the bartender came back
She seemed to have got mad and made him sleep in the bath
and instead of love She fixed him up with a thirstier psycho path
which cost Him about everything He had
So Johnny Hollywoods never called the Escort service no more
-------------
Travis Ray Cole
-

"Gonna Put A Lien On The Whorehouse"

Gonna put a lien on the whorehouse,baby
gonna get my money for shure
gonna put a lien on the whorehouse maybe
spend all the monies on a bartender with curls

lien on the whorehouse
lien on the prop-er-ty ee
lien on the whorehouse
how come you fellers don't like me

gonna put a lien on the whorehouse baby
gonna get my money for shure
gonna put a lien on the whorehouse maybe
spend all the monies on a bartender with curls
shes gotta nice little caboose
your sweet mamma looks like a moose

the money you bribed cops with
didn't go all that far
guess you ya should shoulda stayed away from the methlab and the old gay bar
where they call you cowboy
'cause you tip em good
better gimmie my qutro grande
like you knowed you should

gonna put a lien on the whorehouse baby
gonna get my money for shure
gonna put a lien on the whorehouse maybe
spend all the monies on a bartender with curls
gonna get a midnight blue boxster
and woo the bartender right on the hood
in the rain at suppertime
cause she be looking good

gonna dance to friend of the devil
and I'm gonna buy her yeagerbombs
then were gonna get some cocaine
from some fag named tom

gonna put a lien on the whorehouse baby
gonna get my money for shure
gonna put a lien on the whorehouse maybe
spend all the monies on a bartender with curls
-------------
Travis Ray Cole
-

judgement in the cross roads
the
-------------
Anonymous
-

Mind Games In The Crossroads

From the crossroads
there will be mind games
from the dreamer to the liar
from the thief to the jailer
from the doctor to the poet
there is something wrong with your lies
there is nothing in your eyes
meaningless as your smiles
still nothing in these crossroads worth knowing
no angels for you to be jealose of
push to shove
ghosts in your mind like a microchip realiegns
empty as the crossroads your thought pattern
predicable manipulation
steal your diamonds
steal your soul
you could never be her
that you know
-------------
spy cam two
-

Like the hammer of God
I come down on you hard
pounding into your mind
the fact that I love you
now and forever DMT!!!
-------------
Anonymous
-

"Tired of Tina"

Your everything I could ever want in a woman
except for the knife in the back
hold onto a dream
that I could never have
life is to short to waste on lies
You fool me every time
I want to believe in You
You'll end up with nothing
when theres no one trying
Your everything I could dream
how easily You break a heart
then You didn't stop there
You tore My mind apart
You have You own life
forget You we're My friend
I would have gave My life to You
when all Your feelings are pretend
-------------
Seizure 7th Chords
-

"I'm Done With You Sweet Bertha 'Cause Your Sister Gained Weight"

I'm done with You Sweet Bertha
'cause your sisters gained weight
it's all over now
blame it on fate
it would have never worked anyway
to stay any longer I can't
I'm done with You Sweet Bertha
I'm done with You and Yourn
I'm done with You Sweet Bertha
theres nothing to be learned
I'm done with You Sweet Bertha
'cause Your Sisters gained weight
to go on pretending
You know that I ain't
it isn't You it's Me
it isn't You it's Me
this has broke My heart
make it stop please
I'm done with You Sweet Bertha
Sweet Bertha I am done
I'm done with You Sweet Bertha
I'll find another one
it is for the better
fly and be free
You don't need someone holding You down
You don't need someone like me
I'm done with You Sweet Bertha
'cause Your Sisters gained weight
looks ain't everything
they still got a pretty face
now We have nothing
and all the cards have been played
I'm done with You Sweet Bertha
'cause Your Sister gained weight
You may say I'm shallow
You must have wanted it this way
I'm done with You Sweet Bertha
'cause Your Sister gained weight
it isn't You it's Me
what a waste
-------------
:
-

"Sweet Bertha's Bidet Troubles"

The trouble all started when
Sweet Bertha bought one of those kits
Sweet Bertha whoa Sweet Bertha
it was computerized and had a warm air dryer on it
Sweet Bertha whoa Sweet Bertha
it even came with a enlongated heated seat and a spray nozzle to keep things neat
made out of an anti-bacterial material
but the hose started to leak
Sweet Bertha whoa Sweet Bertha
the floor of the trailer started to get weak
rotted out in less than a week
nowadays Her and the feller who sold it to her
don't even speak
Sweet Bertha whoa Sweet Bertha
She converted Her commode into a bidet
paid for it all in change
fell thru the floor
its a wonder She didn't drown yesterday
Sweet Bertha whoa Sweet Bertha
Her double-wides value went down
now She gets snubbed by the uppity society folks down town
a racoon climbed through the hole in the floor and stole all the toilet tissue it had found
Sweet Bertha whoa Sweet Bertha
-------------
Doctor Catsburger
-

"Gonna Get Wit Oprah,Yo"

Gonna get wit Oprah,Yo
gonna make Her My number one Ho
gonna spend some of that monay
hope to be on Her show
gonna get wit Oprah,Biotch
dis heh is My chocolate wish
I'm gonna mingle and mix
gotta get My Oprah fix
gonna get wit Oprah,Yo
run My fingers thru Her fro
You might not think of this as funny
but if You ain't Oprah You gots to go
-------------
The Seventh Lord Of The Cat Box
-

"Uptown Boy"

Rats run by
theres roaches in the soup
My Squall gets a Reservation Shheck
She gets the Whitemans Welfares too
the health departments driving around looking for Her
She sniffs paint thinner all the day thru
She kinda looks like Momma did
Yeah,Shes a little bit cute
We drink all day in the alley
the Indian Center gives Her food
She's got eight kids
that gots to eat,F oo
-------------
Miss Shizna's Groupie
-

Sweet Bertha Sweet Bertha
How come You cook so good
Sweet Bertha Sweet Bertha
How come You look so good
I'm gonna gain a lot of weight
if You keep tending to my needs
like You should

Swwet Bertha Sweet Bertha
some of the hens got out
Sweet Bertha Sweet Bertha
some of the hens got out
we gonna go down south
-------------
:
-

"Sweet Bertha,Sweet Bertha,Why'd You leave Me here to die?"

How can You do Me this way
after all We been thru
We took the chance together
then You put a bullet in Me too
I helped You rob them banks
I even saddled Your Horse
now for a few bags of gold
no don't take My spurs
-------------
Doctor Cowsbirther
-

"Maria Said She's Gonna War-sh Up My Clothes"

Maria Said She's gonna war-sh up my clothes
take them down to the river
with Her homemade Lye soap
beat them with a rock til they're clean
then hang them in a tree
whar a hill billies clothes is suppose to be
Maria Said Shes gonna cook Me some Vittles
right there in the kittle
but now I need some Lysteryne
'cause Maria don't wanna mix it with dog breath
You know I am very thankful
She's gonna do all this fer free


-------------
Seizure Seventh Chords
-

"BY THE TIME WE GET TO WELFARES"

Johnny F.N.Hollywoods Welfare Case Worker
gots a three hour lunch break
So He gots to chili crusie Her to the projects
to cop crack from a Nizzle named Skank
then they stop at the Popeyes drive thru
'cause this here Ho,She makes bank
Johnny F.N. Hollywoods Welfare Case Worker
be getting checks in Seven different names
-------------
Doctor Cassburger
-

"Untitled"

Johnny F.N.Hollywoods Welfare Case Worker
gots a three hour lunch break
So He gots to chili crusie Her to the projects
to cop crack from a Nizzle named Skank
then they stop at the Popeyes drive thru
'cause this here Ho,She makes bank
Johnny F.N. Hollywoods Welfare Case Worker
be getting checks in Seven different names
-------------
:
-

"Is this a Steak or a White Castle" Sweet Bertha Yelped as She threw the plate agin the wall and scared the Chitlins Who scurred off to sleep in the Hen House proper.
Without a word everyone knew there wouldn't be any homework tonight,Because Sweet Bertha didn't go for Mother Censorers who was goin' try and get smarter than Her,getting all schooled up in a town where some of the tax dollars actually did go to the school system.

"Looks like its gonna be the Storage Container Queen for You tonight Johnny Hollywoodski,How 'bout I have Your Ho deported," Sweet Bertha slurred as she Stood and walked over to Her tractor to take a leak.

"But I still got Seven more payments on that Commie beeotch.How comes You stand up to urinate ever since You started going to Curves and watching Ellen dance,Sweet Bertha?" Johnny Hollywood questioned.

Sweet Bertha took of her stained wife beater and threw it into the crowd,They all cheered and gave holla.
Johnny F.N. Hollywoods was climbing out of the ring as fast as He could when Sweet Bertha did one of them flying tiger kicks she learnt from watching all those Bruce Lee movies with Johnny Hollywood when they was kids.
Johnny Hollywood looked like a cartoon when He flew out the trailer door in to the lot next door.
He was bleeding from the tooth marks Sweet Bertha left in His face.
Johnny Hollywood was rolling around the yards screaming about catching rabies when Sweet Bertha jumped on His crouch and ripped out his throat.
The crowd went wild.
The referee ran over and gave Sweet Bertha a hug that lasted until He stuck his tongue in her ear and She grabed His skull gave it a twist and snapped his neck.
"I ain't no whore and I ain't cooking Sheet." Sweet Bertha said as She set the ref's body on fire.
The ghost of Johnny Hollywoods asked Sweet Bertha
if She "wanted a foot rub or needed something for the ladies time"
Sweet Bertha reached into the ghost of Johnny Hollywood to try to get a grip on his heart but it was already gone.
-------------
:
-

"Whats a Crackwhore like You doing in a place like this?"

Whats a Crackwhore like You doing in a place like this?
I know You didn't come over to babysit
'cause You done lost your kids
You stole My heart and sold it for a rock
Your the most Generic looking Barbie on the whole block
seems like You never ever come over to cook up slop
better use it up now Baby because thats all You got
is that Your Probation Officer over there
looking kinda pissed
Whats a Crackwhore like You doing in a place like this
You know I love You I love You a lot
Twenty bucks to marry You?
but thats all I got
What do You think I'm just another trick
sweating Me on payday and telling Me I'm fronting
beeotch
Whats a Crackwhore like You doing in a place like this?
-------------
Doctor Catsburger
-

What kind of moron would import spent nuclear fuel to the U.S.A.
Are You just some crazy hillbilly
is there a price on your Mother too
Do You think this is a good ideal
what is wrong with You
You can store it here
You can keep it there
will it make the fish taste better
see if You can sell our air
-------------
Seizure 7th Chords
-

"Next Squall I Pick Up In The Alley,I'm Gonna Honeymoon In A Tent"

Next Squall I pick up in the alley
I'm gonna honeymoon in a tent
cause when thier Mommas move in and steal everything from the bathroom including the toilet seat
the hotel wants Me to pay for it
I thought maybe Yeah the soap and towels
I thought maybe the shampoo and toilet paper
Hmm,wow
there goes the light bulb,the rug and the trap under the sink
next Squall I pick up in the alley
we will be honeymooning in a tent
I'm not even going to tell Her I have a place to live
-------------
Travis Ray Cole
-

"This one goes out to My Nizzle Sweet Bertha"

Yo baby whats up
do You like doin' laundry
what'd yer sister do with My puerto rican step Mothers Cival War Money
I shure did miss You and Your sauce
How come You never take me out for chicken wings
and talk about what We lost
I know I got real mad and said the things I shouldn't
but the way You drive that air condition John Deere tractor in the middle of the road going in slo mo
watching the DVD videos
betchya I got places to go
I know its not much of an appoligy
more like a request for one
but the worlds not over and done
long as You get a shheck
You remember when I had You rolling around in food stamps and You was singing "Were in the Money"?
that was living large
You remember when I took You to lambs farm
yeah they tried to keep You
-------------
Lugnut Number Two
-

I'm Living on the Subway, Cause Sweet Bertha run off with the Rent"

I'm living on the Subway,cause Sweet Bertha run off with the rent
She went to the track with a janitor and lost every cent
I went looking for Her where She does that nasty pole dancing
They don't know where She went
I'm living on the Subway 'cause Sweet Bertha run off again
I tried to Love Sweet Bertha
guess thats how it goes
She never even liked Me
and She really disliked My Ho's
I'm living in the Subway
'cause they said theres no vacancies on the train
My roomate now is a family of Rats
they smell funny but that don't just help themselves to everything
I'm living in the Subway 'cause Sweet Bertha run off with the rent
this ain't the first time She got gone
there's better Yoko Ono's so I'm not gonna trip
I'm living in the Subway Sweet Bertha's the blame
I fell in love with Her
it was really lame
-------------
Doctor Catsburger
-

"Let Me Walk You Down To The Currency Exchange
Welfare Bride"

Let Me walk You down to the Currency Exchange Honeycupsis
let Me hold Your hand
You You might need someone to carry Your purse later
or do You got other plans
Let me accompany You to the thirft store
walk right by Your side
tonight the church is feeding
You the Nizzle thats gonna be My Welfare Bride
Welfare Bride
Welfare Bride
always with You
You is mine
Welfare Bride Welfare Bride
all the way with You
link card Valentines
Let Me walk You down to the Currency Exchange Honeycupsis
I can't get into sniffing You wearing that Wedding Band
So lets get over to the pawn shop Honeycupsis
I got to be Your Man
Let Me Walk You down to Welfares
then We'll eat from the dollar menu
and sell a pint of blood
the heck with the rest of the World
Me and You can live on Love
-------------
Chords,Seizure 7th
-

How come You left Me Honeycupsis
How come You done got gone so long
You knowed I missed You
with the camaras always on
Hope You didn't spend all Your check
You knowed My love is true
I could never find another woman
with a check as big as You
Checkity check that link card
and lets git some Milla beersch
How come You run off Sweet Bertha
with the garbage man
why'd You take my Geetard picks
and Two-Thirds of my band
What the Freakho You doin'
this lunch love thing
don't look like them brochures
How's Yer Sister,Baby
-------------
Seizure Chords
-

"My Groupie Anne Frank"

My Groupie Anne Frank lives inside the wall
taping my solo's
before I write them all alone
She never gives Me lapdances
or takes Me for boatrides
and We never pan for gold
But skitzo knows the words to every song I ever wrote
My groupie Anne Frank
is the leader of My Cult
I get tired of Her interferring in My life of Love
So I'm gonna take and leave Her at the first Truckstop
My groupie Anne Frank has sold Me out
trading tapes of Me I don't have
and You wonder where the progress has gone
My Groupie Anne Frank has got to let it go
or I'm gonna leave Her behind
with Her husband Who She no longer lo ves
-------------
Seizure Chords
-

"My Nizzle Forgot Where He Hid The Bong"

My Nizzle forgot where He hid the bong
an unexpected knock on the door
when the timing was all wrong
right in the middle
of the scheduled "Wake and Bake" Song
My Nizzle thought it might be the Laws
My Nizzle He be wrong
It was Thou Holy Postal Worker
only doing Her Yob So what do You know
My Nizzle forgot where He hid the bong
You can stand there in worries
all the day long
wonder and fret in miserable whoa
or You can Help Me look for wherever it's gone
-------------
Doctor Catsburger
-

"Could You Help Me Squeeze My Zit?"

I got a blackhead on my back
where Big Roxy jabbed me with the lead of a pencil
to try and poision me
You would think it would disolve
I asked a nurse about this but she wanted Vikodins
and Said a happy ending wasn't free
So I'm asking that musical question
and it says just what it means
Could You help me squeeze my zit
its slightly outta reach
I'm asking You instead of the Crackwhore
because I don't want HIV
-------------
Doctor Catsburger
-

"I LOVES YOU BERTHA
BUT I'M CHAINED TO THIS HERE SQUALL"

I loves You Bertha
from the heavens You did fall
like an Angel in the Crossroads
the best I ever saw
I loves Your Sisters
even if its again the laws
I loves You Bertha
How come You never call
I loves You Bertha
You knowed that I do
I don't want the peoples at the County Fair
to think of Me a fool
I loves You Bertha
My love is fifteen cat boxes tall
I loves You Bertha
But I'm chained to this here Squall
-------------
The Seventh Lord of The Cat Box
-

I'm Saving Myself
-------------
For A Ho
-

I been saving and saving
where does it go
I been slaving and slaving
You Nizzles don't even know
I'm saving up,I gots a dolla Forty-Four
I'm saving Myself
I'm saving Myself
Yeah,I'm saving Myself for a Ho
look at that cute libiarian though
I'm saving Myself
I'm saving Myself
Yeah,I'm saving Myself for a Ho
I had Me one
She had to go
came right to the doh
wanted money for diapers
when the Department of Chitin Services
already took them from the babysitter
Who? We don't even know
I been saving and saving
where does it go
I been slaving and slaving
You Nizzles don't even know
I'm saving up,I gots a dolla Forty-Four
I'm saving Myself
I'm saving Myself
Yeah,I'm saving Myself for a Ho
look at that cute libiarian though
I'm saving Myself
I'm saving Myself
Yeah,I'm saving Myself for a Ho
fresh outta the lock-up
where She met a lumberjack Lady
Who tried to sell Her empty soul
-------------
The Lord Of La Grienga's Cat Box
-

"Sweet Bertha's Cat Hair In The Beans Reciepe"

You went to culinary classes
at that fancy place downtown
where You met Sweety Pants
and started running around
microwave Me beans
with a little cat hair
I kinda seems like You don't care

You went to culinary classes
and left me alone
for some fruit with a chef's hat
a soiled turkey baster and an egg sandwich song
-------------
:
-

They're always watching me
They're always watching Me
because I'm a Rock Star Who ain't got no money
well that and the lies they heard about Me
They're always listening to Me
making Me crazy
infringing on My privacy
living in the walls like Anne Frank
hiding like a ghost groupie who needs a spank
stalking me without car pooling with me to save on gas during a gas war
sometimes even making fun of Me and My Whore
and then expecting an encore from My crappy poetry
-------------
Doctor Catsburger
-

How come You never cook beans like that for me
everytime I take Take You down to Welfare
seems You got something up Your sleeve
You know I could of married up to Your Sister but She's to much of a sleeze
How come You never cook beans like that for Me
All our love is sewage
You cook beans like that for Your Lesbian Lover
then You slept with Her Monkey Ass Uncle
-------------
:
-

"Sweet Bertha Expects Me To Shave"

Look at all the money we'll save
not buying razors
remember thou savior
and baby You look as if You've been staying in the manger
I'm not gonna say I would never date Her
but we had to rent a weed wacker to shave the hair on her back
and we still haven't found a watering hole big enough to bathe Her
Sweet Bertha Sweet Bertha Baby What'd You want from Me
a little bit of grooming and a Cat Box rinse if You please
-------------
:
-

I remember the day
them po po's burned Sweet Berthas Brothel down
She had to move across the skreet
staying at the Meth Lab now
I remember the day
Sweet Bertha got kinda riled
holding her automatic weapons close
her badge reflecting the light show
that was going down
-------------
take two doses of the Bertha Meds and call her late for dinner
-

Sweet Bertha used to make me bologna sandwiches back in the cival war
now the po po's burnt her brothel down and said shes to old to be a whore
Sweet Bertha run off with the garbage man
honeymooned on the garbage truck
yeah she's got a man
-------------
Anonymous
-

"Sweet Sweet Bertha And her Case Worker Too"

I gotta feed ya
and buy yer booze
I gotta listen to ya
and yer Case Worker too
I coulda found me another woman
at the welfare office
one who gets a bigger shheck
who don't mind taking me out golfing
I wanna live the good life
I wanna live large
'stead of sit at home and listen to yer farts
I get tired of yer Mamma's nagging all the dang time
when I come home from the soup kitchen
Your impregenated with a chile that ain't even mine
You done took my bus tokens
so I can't look fer no yob
complaning at me while you watch TV
in yer wife beater you look like a fat slob
How come yer case worker stole my check book
theres nothing in there
I don't ev