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Poetic Works
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to want something so bad,, you can see it and hear it ,, but you cant feel it,, love unreturned, left alone again ,, another night of solitude and regret,, undoubtedly the most remarkable profound confusion of my life,,, why do i stay ,, deal with the pain ,, alone another night,, seeking your touch,,, alone another night,,,tears fall till sleep drifts in ,, alone another night........
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babyjane6969
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It bieng Wintertime Johnny Hollywoods didn't take to writing Haiku's,He set out to find him a new wife to drag home so when it didn't work out he would have stuffs to burn in the fireplace proper like her prostitute coustumes and the like and any kinda furniture she left behind when she took to whorin',instead of buying a cord of firewood like them city slickers do.
"You wouldnt have to move no nasty whores in here so you'll have fuel this here winter Johnny Hollywood if You didn't burn all yer shitty songs last winter If You'ld just quit chasing that there Maid around and settle down,I'll come back to ya and chop up some fire wood proper" Sweet Bertha done told Johnny Hollywood.

"I ain't taking You back Bertha fer nothing in the world!" Johnny Hollywood told her as he went out the door to head on over to the side of the storge facility that has the ten foot by ten foot units hoping to find him a woman with some furniture and belongings that was flamable.
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At sun up Johnny Hollywoods was in deep beneath the surface of the Free Crackhousing unit digging the underground railroad as per his Satanic Welfare Caseworkers request."Rapido Rapido!" Johnny Hollywoods Welfare Caseworker hollered at him as she cracked the whip across his bleeding back.He dug faster and faster so the slaves could maybe get ahead in life.Johnny Hollywoods had no ideal that his Welfare caseworker was planning to sneak South America into the United States through her free crackhousing issued to her by the same Government that gave her the yob with the obligatory three hour lunch breaks and made her recieve them old mandatory shhecks in seven different names.
"Some of the peoples was calling this ghost payrolling but they wasn't werk shhecks so that there was a false charge." Johnny Hollywoods Welfare caseworker said as she stuffed another piece of her link cards into the broken glass flower holder makeshitf crack pipe she got at the same fillin' station Johnny Hollywoods buys his gas station roses for his Ho's "and No he doesnt steal them outta your censorfucking neighbors yard like your crazy ass has been accusing him of doing because you need some Medicaticion Biotch,Johnny F.N.Hollywoods is a good boy You better reconize." Johnny Hollywoods Award Winning Landscaper told the High Priestess of Geetaring proper.

"Oh Yeah he'll premeditate the wooing of yer Mom,Daughter,Sister, best friend,yer who who girl,your lesbian girlfriend or any biotch that looks like Sweet Bertha from a football field away is in season and thats why Honeycups got mad at him the other night fer trying to pick up nasty ass homeless looking baglady biotches off the skreet."
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where'd you put the keys girl?

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Anonymous
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just for the love of d_cks
in gene ral
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Anonymous
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WTF

So what?
Your like sick in the head from the Catbox over here?
Or what?
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Seizure Seventh Chords
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if someone thought he should be executed.......then maybe he should be....im not signing no petition....there are enough fucking crazy people out on the streets now as it is...why would I want one more on the streets.......its his turn now to meet his maker and explain what he has done....good luck!!
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Anonymous
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For it 'tis You
my Lovely
the one I pornicate in thy basement

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Anonymous
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Thus wasted desire
It is I that covet you
enviously
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Thus wasted desire
It is I that covets you
enviously
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.
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Thus wasted desire
It is I that covents you
enviously

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well i dont care no more
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Anonymous
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Dad
Why are you so tierd?
Why mom is not home any more?
why my friend don't talk to me any more?
Why I have to answer so many question before I see you?
why all this persons are dress like that?
I don't Understand what hapen to us?
Will I grow Up n become Like you?
Why this lady ask's me if i want to write you a letter?
Why WHy?
DAD?

five years LATER

YOU KILL MOMY

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Los Populares
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Johnny Hollywoods and the Seventh Lord of the Catbox was in a hurry to get over to the back of the uptown theater where the pidgeons shit was three inches thick in some places but that didnt matter because on Monday and Wedensday nights at ten o'clock the local mental hospitals load up a bus load or two of mental patients and set them free on Lawrence Avenue and the first ones down there got first pickings of the fresh mental patients and break up the monotony of the troublesome alley squalls that was so plentiful round them parts.
There she stood fresh off the bus from Walter Reid mental faciluty and she already had a shopping cart and was good to go
so The Seventh Lord of the Catbox took a liking to her right quick because they had so much in common with the carts half full and all,But it had been a while since Johnny Hollywoods had any quality time with a biotch he didnt find in the alley proper.

So the first thing you know The Seventh Lord of the Catbox pulls out a straight razor and wants to cut somebody and there was still twenty eight more mental patients that hadn't got off the damn bus yet ,even though everyone knew some of the mental patients would be return mental patients that got off the bus two days ago or a week ago.

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The cross threaded lesbian mafia union leader
is big and fat and nasty and has a curly tail

The cross threaded lesbian mafia union leader
is hugging up to the crack whore right now at the county jail

The cross threaded lesbian mafia union leader
looks like a lumber jack
so I wouldnt give her no crap
you know she use to play for the green bay pack
and she gets better womens than me I see

The cross threaded lesbian mafia union leader
has broke my dreams it seems
when there was the girl for me
now all that left is an ugh ugh ugly
that chewed through her collar and was raised up in an ugly tree

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Johnny Hollywoods welfare caseworker got busted selling rocks in front of the fire house and spread foot and ass disease to the three legged fire dog "Crip".

Johnny Hollywoods caseworkers sister was a freaky ass biotch she done gives gave the nizzle the catbox scurvy before they gets to the currency exchange so then they go drinking and theres no one at the crib with the crack babies cause his caseworkers on the ho stroll and then Johnny Hollywoods award winning landscaper had to make them the ketchup soup and they always loved helping open the ketchup packets

johnny your a lazy lying mother censorfucker that biotch is to lazy to get off the couch sayeth the welfare caseworker of johnny hollywoods dreams is

Johnny Hollywoods caseworkers sister was a freaky ass biotch she done gives gave the nizzle the catbox scurvy before they gets to the currency exchange so then they go drinking and theres no one at the crib with the crack babies cause his caseworkers on the ho stroll and then Johnny Hollywoods award winning landscaper had to make them the ketchup soup and they always loved helping open the ketchup packets

johnny your a lazy recieptant caniving mother censorfucker that biotch is to lazy to get off the couch sayeth the welfare caseworker of johnny hollywoods dreams is
--- Travis Ray Cole wrote:

Vote ONCE FOR YES TWICE FOR NO

So then Johnny F.N. Hollywoods takes off down the alley wit dis here ho and theys picking up aluminum cans so as they could get a forty by dinner time now she aint got no benz but shes not in the penitenry wrapped up with a big ol' bulldyke either say it bitch vote for me against Oprah Windfree in 2008 get you a shhheck!! Re:Johnny F.N.Hollywoods caseworkers sister wore the pink and black socks we was walking by and this nizzle says nice shocks bendeho me thinks the biotch is broke but its shhheck day and the ho just got paid and I was bleedin in my brain from the excessive amont of spam I recieved in a minuteJohnny Hollywoods caseworker filled the broken piece of antenna she got off Johnny Hollywoods black and white television with the little piece of plastic she cut off her link card and fired it up smoking the half inch by half inch sized chunk of link card in a matter of seconds. Re: Johnny Hollywoods caseworkers Mothers got a great big ass Re: vote for me against oprah in 2008 biotch
--- Travis Ray Cole wrote:

Subject:Johnny F.N. Hollywoods Welfare Caseworkers Liposuction Surgries was cutting deep into his holiday crackwhore funds and when they went shopping it was getting to the point where his caseworker wouldn't even let him carry her damn purse so this Mother Fucker tells his whorecop biotch that he has to end it with her because he thinks shes a whore and he thinks shes a po po too
because he thinks she a whore and he thinks shes a cop

So then Johnny F.N. Hollywoods takes off down the alley wit dis here ho and theys picking up aluminum cans so as they could get a forty by dinner time now she aint got no benz but shes not in the penitenry wrapped up with a big ol' bulldyke either say it bitch vote for me against Oprah Windfree in 2008 get you a shhheck!! Re:Johnny F.N.Hollywoods caseworkers sister wore the pink and black socks we was walking by and this nizzle says nice shocks bendeho me thinks the biotch is broke but its shhheck day and the ho just got paid and I was bleedin in my brain from the excessive amont of spam I recieved in a minuteJohnny Hollywoods caseworker filled the broken piece of antenna she got off Johnny Hollywoods black and white television with the little piece of plastic she cut off her link card and fired it up smoking the half inch by half inch sized chunk of link card in a matter of seconds. Re: Johnny Hollywoods caseworkers Mothers got a great big ass Re: vote for me against oprah in 2008 biotch
--- Travis Ray Cole electronicmailage@computermail.net

From: Travis Ray Cole ele ctronicmailage@computermail.net

Subject: Re:Johnny F.N.Hollywoods caseworkers sister wore the pink and black socks we was walking by and this nizzle says nice shocks bendeho me thinks the biotch is broke but its shhheck day and the ho just got paid and I was bleedin in my brain from the excessive amont of spam I recieved in a minuteJohnny Hollywoods caseworker filled the broken piece of antenna she got off Johnny Hollywoods black and white television with the little piece of plastic she cut off her link card and fired it up smoking the half inch by half inch sized chunk of link card in a matter of seconds. Re: Johnny Hollywoods caseworkers Mothers got a great big ass Re: vote for me against oprah in 2008 biotch Re:
--- Travis Ray Cole wrote:

From: Travis Ray Cole electronicmailage@computermail.net

Johnny F.N.Hollywoods caseworkers Mothers got a great big ass Re: vote for me against oprah in 2008 biotch

square

--- Travis Ray Cole wrote:

From: Travis Ray Cole

Subject: vote for me against oprah in 2008 biotch

Johnny Hollywoods caseworker filled the broken piece of antenna she got off Johnny Hollywoods black and white television with the little piece of plastic she cut off her link card and fired it up smoking the half inch by half inch sized chunk of link card in a matter of seconds.

"Wow!" Johnny Hollywoods award winning landscaper said.

With the big gas war going on Johnny Hollywoods Caseworker was really in a bit of a finacial bind now gas was two bucks a gallon and her Navigator only got seven miles to the gallon and she needed to go eight miles round trip seven to ten times per day to get the crack cocaine her body needed and since she was "big boned" per se she just wasn't getting as much as some of the other womens up and down Sheffield so She had to get a yob at the big lots too working a total of eighty two hours a week just between prostituting and the big lots gig ,and most of that was done on her lunch break from the welfare office.

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Anonymous
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With the big gas war going on Johnny Hollywoods Caseworker was really in a bit of a finacial bind now gas was two bucks a gallon and her Navigator only got seven miles to the gallon and she needed to go eight miles round trip seven to ten times per day to get the crack cocaine her body needed and since she was "big boned" per se she just wasn't getting as much as some of the other womens up and down Sheffield so She had to get a yob at the big lots too working a total of eighty two hours a week just between prostituting and the big lots gig ,and most of that was done on her lunch break from the welfare of fice.

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Johnny Hollywoods caseworker filled the broken piece of antenna she got off Johnny Hollywoods black and white television with the little piece of plastic she cut off her link card and fired it up smoking the half inch by half inch sized chunk of link card in a matter of seconds.

"Wow!" Johnny Hollywoods award winning landscaper said.

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Check Your Cat Box Biotch?

Travis Ray Cole Copyright © 2005 Travis Ray Cole Copyright © 2005

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Check Your Cat Box Biotch?

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Check Your Cat Box Biotch?

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Check Your Cat Box Biotch?

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Check Your Cat Box Biotch?
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ALSO IF YOU HAVE TIME CHECK OUT WWW. TOOKIE.COM
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Anonymous
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"Tookie Williams Must Die"

Crying like a gangsta bitch while he waits to die
Did he ever hear his victims cry?

Starting a gang called the CRIPS,who knows the total number of murders orchestrated by this PIMP?

Time after time and terror after terror,
Tookie the world has felt your error.

Rehabilitated now and a value to society?
Don't you dare of our justice system make a mockery.

Damn you, damn you straight to hell.
Mabey to SATAN your woes you can tell.

Hard and heartless kills your victims felt.
While you are only facing a soft kill with needles.
May your mind cry out, your breath be trapped and slowly you fade into the abyss, Tookie it is you that I won't miss.

Readers: go to www.petition-them.com and read the bleeding heart stories of yet another down trodden black my done wrong and a victim of his life. Tough shit I say I couldn't choose my parents or life either.

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DIE TOOKIE WILLIAMS DIE!
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You could tell she knowed Johnny Hollywoods had attempted cheatin' just by the way Sweet Bertha slammed her tow truck into Johnny Hollywoods Welfare Caseworkers Customized Golf Cart at fifty miles an hour. Johnny Hollywood figured all this meant was he would be carrying the damn golf bag around all afternoon two or three days a week during to warmer months and his little snook ems would get over it sooner or later.

"Who tore up my damn golf cart ,Johnny?" Johnny Hollywoods Caseworker asked as she shined a light in his eyes.

"I just want some sleep." Johnny Hollywood begged.

Johnny Hollywoods woke up on the floor half under his caseworkers bed next to an old turkey sandwich with his pockets turned inside out as his caseworker was clipping her toe nails over his face.

When He got up he then discovered that his caseworkers little nizzles wore his shoes and coat to school.
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Who Do You Love?

Johnny Hollywoods was begining to understand that since it was eight days til shhheck day he maybe might as well go on over to see Sweet Bertha seeing as how the biotch was bartending that day and if he had a dollar to sit on the bar she just might give him beersch all night for free if the manager wasn't looking, to kinda make up for all the years of cheating on him.
Well things was going pretty good and to Johnny Hollywoods surprise there was a fashion show going on,So Johnny Hollywoods really wasn't looking for any undergarments fer womenfolks at that time but He figured it couldnt hurt to look at the display and right when He was getting a combo lap dance from two nasty little sluts the phone rings and its Johnny Hollywoods caseworker wanting to know why he ain't back with the kitty litter and ladies napkins she gave him that dollar for,So he put two more lap dances on his caseworkers link card {theys in the hood you know}
and He told the sluts he had to mosey on down the road 'cause He already messed up with one cupcake that week telling his same old kill a tree for her god punch line less wastes of free speech when in fact he could have offered up to do a little hoilday anti landscaping proper,So there was no way in heck Johnny Hollywood was looking to mess it up with his welfare caseworker since it was getting colder and colder with each day and he needed to know his guitar would have a warm place to stay so that it would not go thru tempature changes and warp the neck,

because with having to spend his every dime on gas to take his caseworker to cop nine times a day since there was a gas war going on,He could not afford another guitar anytime soon.

"She had no mushrooms she had no catipillars she had no deck of cards or medications that Johnny hollywood could see so how was he to know that god wanted him to kill a tree with her blondness?" Johnny Hollywoods award winning landscaper and sometimes security said as she fell off the bar stool.

"Get up ,I still gotta get my caseworker a card,come on!" Johnny Hollywood said in a rush.

"Wear protection Johnny Hollywood." Sweet Bertha yelled from behind the bar.

Johnny Hollywood forgot what his welfare caseworker sent him to the store for on the account of drinking to much so he went to walgreens and bought a forty ouncer to help him remember and he went back to her crib to see if she cooked any vittles proper.

When Johnny Hollywoods got back to the projects all his rags and his geetars and his picture of your sister was out on the side walk and the caseworkers little nizzles was digging thru his socks and willie nelson CDs.

So thats how Johnny Hollywoods ended up living on the "L" train but He got evicted when it reached the end of the line and thats how he became homeless and got to hang out with the polease and have them sort his dirty socks from his clean ones on Broadway at three am when it was twenty nine degrees below zero.

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I don't understand
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Anonymous
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You will always be the one.
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Eve
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Toxo Plasma Gondii Harvest
by
Travis Ray Cole
Marinated triple scented
water logged totem pole clusters
submerged in the trench-foot pomade gel
gift basket wake enhancer

Red yellow green orange black brown
the organic commemorative slush sandtrap
color wheel rinse cycle spins around

Tide charted mud trench tunnel hydraulic press
limoge box hydroponic horseradish jellies
dehydrated non-florecent sponge
log loader and chipper buffet
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"Johnny Hollywoods Caseworker was so damn ugly it had caused damage to his retina and He wasn't covered on the Biotches Medical card either so She conjured up one of her Voodoo spells that was supposed to cure him,let him wear her Uncle's Mojo,Then had him rub her nasty feet while she watched Cosby." Box car Jesus told the Seventh Lord of the Cat Box and Cat Box Christ as they all three pushed thier shopping carts half full of garbage down the alley towards Wilson Avenue so that The Cat Box Christ might be able to sell his block of Cheese to a passerby and then in turn pinch in on a forty proper.

"Don't worry about it,We'll just call You Blind Johnny Shitlins" Johnny Hollywoods Hot Nurse Special "K" joked,causing the mental patient that stalks Johnny Hollywood to become upset and confused.

"Thats the ways I like them biotches,stupid and confused" Johnny Hollywood told the chair next to him as He waved his hands in front of his face.

For the next three weeks Johnny Hollywoods and the Magic crackwhore and His Welfare Caseworker got them meals on wheels dinners and would close thier eyes and try to guess what they were
but the party ended when Johnny Hollywoods sold the seeing eye dog for a six pack of Blatz and went down by the lake to liveout the winter in a teepee with some nasty farm animal mannered lady with a drinking problem.
"Problem is she drank it all" Johnny Hollywood told the Leader of the cross threaded Lesbian Mafia Union as He took a nip from her canteen.

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Johnny Hollywoods Welfare Caseworker walked in the door in the middle of the Po Po giving Johnny Hollywoods a No No.
Sweet Bertha was a porn star live on the shitter net

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Anonymous
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"Johnny Hollywood drank the cold coffee straight down and wanted to hit the highway to get back to his caseworkers and pick her up to go to the clinic and over to the currency exchange proper.
Bieng in such a hurry to see the woman He loves Johnny Hollywoods got to his caseworkers hood an hour early and thought well maybe I'll get warmer coffee and he went up the side street six blocks over from his caseworkers house to split the grid in half and thats when he happened upon his caseworker standing at the damn bus stop Ho-ing but she didnt reconize Johnny Hollywoods becasue he was driving Sweet Berthas air conditioned John Deere tractor until he was right upon he caseworking ass.
Then Johnny Hollywoods Welfare Caseworker told him that thats what she does and she ain't been cheating because its just works and she don't love those mens.

After a couple of practice make ups Johnny Hollywood woke up the next morning on the sofa bed with his caseworker and his caseworkers caseworker like every sunday morning ceptin' for this time the caseworker cam was broken and there was no record of the love they had made,except for the clock cam Sweet Bertha had on the wall but she wasn't going to let them use the film because sometimes they was fuedin'." The Cat Box Poet told the fat nasty biotch who was sitting next to him at the welfare office,who he was hoping to bring home before his caseworker got off work,so she wouldn't get in the way of the party.
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Johnny Hollywoods was late to pick up his Welfare caseworker from the JennyCraigs and he was way across town on the way back from the Popeyes like she told him to do when Sweet Bertha done seen him run a yeller light and was digging thru his dashboard whilst Johnny Hollywoods Welfare Caseworkers Chickens was getting cold.

Johnny Hollywoods knowed He should might want tend to Sweet Bertha but He also knowed His caseworker had a little bit of drinking money then He recollected Sweet Berthas Herpes problem but then He remember His caseworkers bieng more colorful and on a larger scale.

The Scale of Womenfolks was ready to give shure nuff Sweet Bertha had the generic blonde pony tail barbie thing going on but His caseworker had land and property deeds but it was down in the South Land where it all is under the elevation of zero and below the sea level and that could just be the global warming

So then Barbie I mean Bertha whose ass was going to be two or three cat boxes wide in ten years,well she had blue eyes.

"Bertha has a gun." The left side of Johnny Hollywoods brain said and then the right side of Johnny Hollywoods brain said,"Caseworkers got a gun."
"Well there is a gas war going on" Johnny Hollywood thought in stereo and that would explain why theres more of them biblical people from the cat box desert than mesikins here in the states.

"I gotta go get my caseworker baby." Johnny Hollywoods finally tells Sweet Bertha.

"I'll have to talk to Your caseworker Johnny Hollywood." Sweet Bertha said.

So Sweet Bertha gives Johnny Hollywoods and his caseworkers cold ass chicken a real official like polease escort and Johnny Hollywoods never did call no escort service, So when they pick up Johnny Hollywoods Welfare Caseworker late from Jenny Craigs dance floors so was so damn mad that her and Sweet Bertha commenced to wrastlin' and tore up some equiptment but soon made up enough for Sweet Bertha to get a letter from Johnny Hollywoods Welfare Caseworker so she could give it to the judge and get the storage full of imigrants she just bought back from the immpound proper.
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Johnny Hollywoods was pushing the cart down the aisle with his caseworker by his side thru the check out counter they went with a box of diapers under the cart.
"Thats stealing" Johnny Hollywood told his caseworker.
"Only if You get caught" Johnny Hollywoods welfare caseworker told him as they was stopped at the door.
The next thing You know Johnny Hollywoods had to go back to the trailer and get his Caseworkers big screen television get over to the pawn shop and back to the jail house to bond the biotch out proper.
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When Johnny Hollywood came back to his caseworkers trailer after a hard day of sitting in the welfare office looking for a new Mom for the kids He could not believe his eyes there was his caseworker on the couch watching her shows with a picnic ham by her side,five empty cans of soda and a shitty diaper as the makeshift center piece for the living room table.
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Johnny Hollywoods caseworker tippy toed into the kitchen and put a double dose of the Bertha Meds into his coffee knowing that He couldn't stand the taste of the Bertha Meds and that He needed the milk of crackwhore in his coffee instead.
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Johnny Hollywoods had been working and working on the relationshit with his Caseworker when she done gave him a bad batch of the old cat box scurvy and then He got a notion that the Ho was cheating on him and when He went to the Doctor with the biotches medical card the Doctor wouldn't accept it and wanted him to pay cash on the barrel head for any medical services recieved and any fool could see that Johnny Hollywoods was gonna need his monies to take a hot little bartender out drinking proper like .
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Johnny Hollywood woke up to the static of the black and white television blasting and His Welfare Caseworker standing next to it breaking up his television antenna to smoke her crack out of so from that Check day on Johnny Hollywood just watched channel eleven because thats the only channel that would come in.Thats about the time Johnny Hollywood noticed his am clock radio was gone.
"What happened to my damn clock?" Johnny Hollywood asked,as his caseworker crawled around on the floor smoking anything white she picked off the carpet.
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Johnny Hollywoods pulled his junk truck over in front of the doughnut house and got out and opened the door for his Welfare Caseworker.She looked down at the mud puddle and back at Johnny Hollywoods and pointed her giant hippo nostrils into the air,He knew not to even ask He just took off his coat and layed it over the mud puddle and helped his big ass case worker out of the truck and was holding onto the biotches purse When his stalker Bill Gates or some other rich ass mother fucker runs up and says "Marry My Daughter,Johnny,Shes in the limo,give her a kiss."

Johnny Hollywoods welfare caseworker took a step forward and said,"That mans stalking You Johnny,I seen him at the last toll booth."
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Johnny Hollywood had to work fifteen to Seventeen hour shifts digging in the underground tunnel for his caseworker to hide the slaves and the nasty troll looking whores his Mother bought off the auction block,promising them Johnny Hollywoods at times.
But all the promises turned sour when Johnny Hollywoods stopped appercatin' dog ugly nasty biotches

Deep in the tunnel to the safe room this side of his bomb shelter studio he had to dig all day and night without getting to spend quaility time with the nasty whores for more than a few minutes every other day.

So when Johnny Hollywoods got back to the hood and civalation he went thru a case of six pound cans of pork and beans picking up alley squalls inside of a weekend.
-------------
:
-

Johnny Houseboy Hollywoods was drunk as a dog listening to the Commodores and swamping around in the water bed with his Welfare Caseworker all night and massaging his welfare caseworkers feet and fetching her margrittas as she watched General Hospital during the day Just so that he could keep his guitar indoors in a controlled climate for the winter seasons.
"Its not as bad as it sounds,I am still able to save enough to buy a six pound can of beans by the end of the week." Johnny Hollywood told his new groupie Chrissy or Christi or Anne Frank or something.
-------------
:
-

Johnny Hollywood took his Welfare Caseworker up to get a forty and then over to the goodwill drop box so she could dig thru it to see if she could find some nice enough duds for them to wear when they go out drinking this coming shhheck day.

Thats when Sweet Bertha rolled up on them,jumped outta Her Crown Vic,fired two warning shots into the trunk of Johnny Hollywoods Welfare Caseworkers "hoop D" and yelled "Freeze".
-------------
:
-

Johnny F.N. Hollywoods Welfare Caseworker grabbed the bumper of his Ford F-150 and lifted it two feet into the air so as He could change the tire proper.It was not until afterwards that He had to pay the price of His soul or fast food which ever came first.

"If You hadn't been in such a damn hurry..." Johnny Hollywoods Caseworker began.

Johnny Hollywood knew he was wrong because he woke that morning.
So he says "You'ld been in a damn hurry to if Your caseworker biotch I mean lady just got her shhhheck and when she got done smokin' her breakfast rock had done promised to buy you the cheapest fender geetar that they make on this here planet well that and she was needing makeup and prostitute coustumes."

So You know Johnny Hollywoods was mad at the world already on the account of there ain't no geetard stores thats open in the middle of the night so He could jam whilest the Ho was making Ketchup soup for some of them there crack babies.

"You shoulda slowed down,when You seen them missle silo road cones Johnny H." Johnny Hollywoods Welfare Caseworker complained.

Johnny F.N. Hollywoods knew He had to get this here biotch down to the Burger king proper so as she could stock up on them free catsup packets for thier Caseworkers Crack Babies Christmas Dinner.

Once the Nizzles was leaving the coin toss at the drive thru Johnny Hollywoods Welfare caseworker was throwing a fit about him wanting to get back to the crib to jam when all she wanted to do was stop by the farm on the outskirts of town and steal the shit she needed to keep her Meth lab in the Master Bath going.

"Remind me never to get up wit a caseworker bitch" Johnny Hollywood kept repeating to himself, like it wadn't his own damn fault.

Johnny Hollywoods didnt give a fuck about his Caseworkers Meth lab making it another day this Mother Fucker was on the Hunt and was looking for so good looking ass but under the influence of the BERTHA MEDS The new problem bieng that there wasnt any good looking Ho's left on this here Island and there wasnt even any messages in a bottle showing up on the shore from any alright ,Johnny Hollywoods was having that same old night mare flashback about the fat nasty bitch rolling around in the floor.

Finally when Johnny Hollywoods and His Caseworker got back to the crib and as She cooked up them ketchup packets for the crack babies Christmas Dinner when there was a knock on the door
KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

"Who dat?" Johnny Hollywoods disguised his voice.

"Open da doh,Mother Fucker." The voice outside the door said.
"It might be the big bad wolf and we need some meat fer the soup,let his ass in." Johnny Hollywoods Welfare Caseworker said.
It was a lot easier than going shopping wit the Ho and taking the chances of some hot biotches seeing him with this heffer So Johnny Hollywoods open the door expecting the Po Po, but it was the people from The Got Damn Church.
So Johnny Hollywoods tells his caseworker,"Theres someone from the church here and it aint the Jehovas this time,looks like they got vittles."

The Church peoples push past Johnny Hollywoods with a great big Christmas Dinner with all the fixin's and set it up on the kitchen table for the little crackbabie recieptants.

When Johnny Hollywoods Welfare Caseworker Ho finally got the Church peoples to git she wanted Johnny Hollywoods to drive on fumes so as she could go get another rock for the fifthteenth time that day.

So when Johnny Hollywoods and His Welfare Caseworker got to the gas station to pan handle, sure enuff there was a real hot super model seeing him. Johnny F.N.Hollywoods out in public with the fat nasty Heffer.

"You know that skinny no ass white biotch,Johnny?"
His caseworker asked as if she needed anger management claases.

"I just want to ask her to vote for me against Oprah windfree in 2008" Johnny Hollywoods tells his welfare caseworker as He approached the generic blonde ponytailed barbie who was wearing a Mother Fucking White Wedding Dress and was ready get past bieng seen in public with a fat nasty heffer.

Johnny Hollywoods Welfare Caseworker tackled him in the floor.

As the generic blonde ponytail looked down into the floor at Johnny Hollywoods laying there,
He says "Yo Baby,You wanna hear my new song about my caseworker selling her link card for twenty five cents on the dollar so she can get some more crack cocaine?"

-------------
Doctor Catsburger
-

It wasn't so bad riding around in an actual Taxicab with his caseworker,This was something Johnny Hollywoods only seen in the movies and on the television,but there they was riding up to the drive up window to get chalupas and over to the liquor store for some forties and back over to the welfare office just like the rich peoples do,downtown.

Johnny Hollywoods just keep thinking about how beautiful his Welfare Caseworkers purse looked with all them bright lights shining down into the back seat like that,He could not even remember ever bieng happier,until he got home and found out that He caught lice from riding in an actual "Taxicab", But Johnny Hollywoods was really puzzled because ,Yes the driver did have an odor,but that great big towel wrapped around his head should have kept in any little critters that was on the cab driver.Right?
-------------
:
-

Johnny Hollywood and His Welfare case Worker got to drinking and all of a sudden She wants a tattoo to be undercover in the crowds of Welfare recieptaints So He makes up a batch of the black light ink and tattoos "Case Worker" real big across her knuckles just like she wanted.
-------------
:
-

The devil is cute satan has me by the
the devil is more than cute but Satan is my girl
Devil angel gidget stunt double for the High Priestess Muff Muff is cute
But Satan is my dream
how could that be

-------------
Anonymous
-

i haven't seen You in 4 years and I still love you like it was for us 12 years ago too!
-------------
'
-

Wait a minute,You didn't fuck up Your credit rating and now You think since we got that in common
-------------
Anonymous
-

Johnny Hollywoods case worker had time to kill during her lunch hour so she helped Johnny Hollywood preform the rusted coat hanger abortion on the nasty ass crack whore in the bathroom of the Tacobell proper,and they named it after Him,Johnny F.N.Hollywoods Jr. but the afterbirth they named after the second guitar player "Moe".
"This is a wonderful time,Billy Idol just bought the crappiest radio station in Chicagoland."Johnny Hollywoods hot little maid said as she wiped Johnny Hollywoods forehead with a towel.
-------------
:
-

Johnny Hollywood was so broke when the Crack Whore came over he gave her the broken piece of his tooth that he just pulled out and she smoked his tooth all night and He repeatedly spent quality time with her until she was in the family way.

Johnny Hollywood was so happy they was going to finally name a crack baby after him he told his other kids the good news,"You kids is such gosh darn assholes I'm gonna have a crackbaby to see if it turns out better." Johnny Hollywoods told the little bastards.

"And as a punishment you gits to babysit." The magic impregenated crackwhore told her soon to be step bastards that didnt want Johnny Hollywoods and the Magic Crackwhore to have a relationshit.
-------------
:
-

Johnny Hollywoods was going to jail he was waving out the back door of the paddy wagon for his award winning landscaper to help him,When Johnny Hollywoods Award winning landscaper took notice Johnny told the harpo marx look alike to hurry up and run in the trailer and get his shirt,socks,shoes and cigarettes before he went to off to the jailhouse.Johnny Hollywoods Award Winning Landscaper made it back to the paddy wagon just in time for Johnny Hollywoods to with some of his material possesions.
-------------
:
-

Johnny Hollywood and Sweet Bertha was having a big one this time,She was shooting holes in the side of the trailer and Johnny Hollywoods was out in the front yard Yelling about How her cop dental insurance was paying for her super model looks and his crusty ass case worker was causing his grill to look like he done caught the cat box scurvy,as the Mesikins from across the street looked on and laughed at Johnny Hollywood and his tooth pulling ritual utilizing only a four dollar set of stripped out vice grips.
"You shouldn't been kissing that fat nasty biotch,I don't care if'n she is your damn caseworker Johnny Hollywood." Sweet Bertha hollered as she squeezed off a couple more rounds.

Johnny Hollywoods was hoping Sweet Bertha would run outta bullets so the other hot biotches up and down the holler wouldn't take notice of Sweet Berthas display and Johnny Hollywoods would never have a chance in hell of getting up wit them Ho's if thier husbands die soon in the God Damn Gas War.

"Barbies gone balistic" Yelled the fat nasty biotch across the street as a chicken dinner stuck to her waist like it was glued to her drawers as if it was some kind of holy miracle,well except for the part where the chicken dinner wasnt shaped like any of the god like characters in the storybook.

Sweet Bertha packed up the squad car and took the kids ,the pets and Johnny Hollywoods tooth brush and went to live with her Mother.
-------------
:
-

Johnny Hollywoods caseworker gave him some purple microdot acid and he was chewing them up and they had a great time but that was two days ago and Johnny Hollywoods was snoring load and dead to the world as a rat picked the chunk of microdot out of Johnny Hollywoods grand canyon cavities and the rat on L.S.D. was still running around and entertained Johnny Hollywood when he woke up seventeen hours later.

Johnny Hollywoods upstairs maid was mad that they had to move outta the luxourious mobile home park and into the slums of Uptown with the rats and roaches but she tried not to show it as she whipped up a batch of Johnny Hollywoods welfare case workers popeyes chicken with expired Gardinair and slices of swiss melted over it with pepper and salt from the dried tears of the magic crackwhore sprinkled on top.
-------------
:
-

It bieng the night before Thanks Giving Johnny Hollywoods Welfare Case Worker wanted to drink up every dime He had since He was now unemployed.Johnny Hollywoods just figured thats the price you have to pay to get with these high maintance biotches and forgot all about having a turkey dinner until on the way back to the crib out in the alley his case worker finds a turkey, fully cooked in the dumpster and brings it back to the hotel,All of a sudden Johnny Hollywood missed Sweet Berthas grits .
-------------
1,2,3,4
-

Johnny Hollywoods and His Welfare Case Worker and his case workers case worker all three sat at the kitchen table Sweet Berthas Cop Money bought and ate up all of Sweet Berthas stale ass doughnuts proper.

All of a sudden Johnny Hollywoods Award Winning Landscaper bursts in and starts snapping pictures of the donuts getting gone and then runs out into the front yard and opens the secret doors to Johnny Hollywoods own personal bomb shelter and studio and locks herself in.
Johnny Hollywood just figured she was fixing on some lawn mowers or just fixing her make up and putting on her stripper get up.
All he knew was the biotch was ugly,even uglier than her Mamma and If these here photos of Him eating doughnuts with a couple of obease caseworkers from the south side Nizzle ,turned out he might even use them photos on the cover of the CD he planned to release someday.

The party took a turn for the worst when they got down to the very last of Sweet Bertha's doughnuts it was a fist fight for about six minutes then it turned into Case Worker Wrastlin' and Johnny Hollywood took all his money and bet it on his case worker.Losing every dime Johnny Hollywood saved up to get a place since she would be out of a job soon and all Johnny Hollywoods Mommas nasty ass troll looking biotches got picked up by the Health Department and was bieng held on the Judges decision as to weather or not these here Ho's was going to be spayed,so there was no income other than the seven checks Johnny Hollywoods fat ass case worker got in seven different names and then You take into account that there was a gas war going on and Johnny Hollywoods was now having to pay half a can of pork and beans to the nasty alley squalls to get with them up from a third of a can of pork and beans a week and a half ago,these here was hard times and the cold winter wind did blow.

-------------
:seizure seventh chords and his mishedginated welfare blues band
-

After bieng thrown out of the same blues bar for singing the same old blues song about Welfare,Johnny Hollywood and His welfare case worker stumbled over to the "L" station.

"CensorFuck a bunch of Mesikins!" Johnny Hollywood said as He milked his Welfare Case Worker on the elevated train platform.

"I'm on a spacial diet" Johnny Hollywood told a dirty wino as He tried to pan handle Johnny Hollywood and his case worker.

"We gave at the office." Johnny Hollywoods welfare caseworker told the old drunk.

"What office,the welfare office?" The Wino asked with a laugh.

"HEYYY! Thats where I got this biotch." Johnny Hollywoods warned Him.
-------------
:
-

Johnny Hollywoods was looking back and forth from the
calender to the Thomas Kincaids hanging on Dr. Gails office wall then He starts to scribbling and says,"What days do You have yer ladies problems Doctor Gail honey? Cause I dont wanna come round these here parts on those certian days."

I got Beamer payments to make Johnny Hollywood and I think we are making some progress,why I think it would be very benificial to You to continue Your Marriage consoling especially now that You have been divorced for about three years,..Come on I'll let You sit in the big chair and we can talk about little no ass blondes the whole damn time if You want Johnny Cakes,What do You say?" Dr. Gail asked beggingly as she struggled with her sock problem.

"I don't think so,I just don't really enjoy it enough to have to pay to be biotched at in such heavy doses,HE HE and my favorite bartender is stalking me again and You know shes gonna come around sooner or later and start talking to me again,Remember I put her saucy ass in check for a year thats why I'm on the waiting list to woo her in the name of God, my Country and outta the reach of Sweet Bertha." Johnny Hollywood told the Doctor of commitment, as Johnny Hollywoods award winning landscaper opened the door and held out her hand for a tip.
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:
-

Johnny Hollywoods Welfare Case Workers Case Worker was coming for an inhouse visit and Johnny Hollywoods Welfare Case Worker was running around cleaning things that was clean and cussing Johnny Hollywood for sleeping with the maid every second she was there instead of her cleaning the pig stye.
"I could get cut off on of my checks"Johnny Hollywoods Welfare Caseworker was screaming franticly as she put the dirty dishes in the oven.
Wouldn't You know it? As soon as Johnny Hollywoods Welfare Case Worker went into the bathroom for a crack break her own caseworker was knocking on the door wanting to know the name of the Nizzle she was shacked up with and his social security number.

"I don't know his number." Johnny Hollywoods caseworker told her caseworker.

Johnny Hollywoods welfare caseworker had broke into Sweet Berthas survailance van out front and downloaded the films of everyone going in and out of Johnny Hollywoods Welfare Case Workers crib in the past two days.
"Who dat biotch." Johnny Hollywoods caseworkers caseworker asked about the high tempature blue eyed maid Johnny Hollywood was cheating on the Magic Crackwhore with.

"I'm calling my Attorney." Johnny Hollywoods Welfare Caseworker said as she dialed the number of the skinny no ass blonde who likes to wear that century twenty one jacket and riding chaps around town.
-------------
:
-

Johnny Hollywoods Welfare Case Worker had all the herion needles in her purse so that when Johnny Hollywoods Mommas troll looking Ho's wanted a fix they had to report to Johnny Hollywoods Welfare Case Worker and to make matters worse Johnny Hollywoods Welfare Case Worker slapped Johnny Hollywoods Momma around a bit and said "Biotch I'm running things now,Now git yer ass out there and get me my money."

Everybody was looking at Johnny Hollywood to drive them all down the strip so they could git Johnny Hollywoods Welfare Case Workers money like she said but seeing as how there was a gas war going on here in the states Johnny Hollywood wormed his way outta car pooling it down to the corner and told them all "They could walk."
Well Johnny Hollywoods Case Worker was O.K. with that and said she wanted to be the first one to vote for Johnny Hollywoods for President in the upcoming election against Oprah Windfree in 2008,But as soon as Johnny Hollywoods favor-rite crackwhore called and needed a ride across town Johnny Hollywoods done fergot all about those American kids dying over in Iraq every day and was Mr. Limo service
quicker than You could run his plate You Cop Sucker You.
-------------
:"Peace Pot and Mental Patients that are Hot." Mr. Johnny Hollywoods
-

Johnny Hollywoods Marriage Consoler "Doctor Gail" was getting upset with Johnny Hollywood,He was late and everyone was waiting on him for the group consoling,The Leader of the Cross Threaded Lesbian Mafia was there with Her two bodyguards standing behind Her chair,Sweet Bertha wearing her uniform was causing The skinny no assed albino strippers paranoia to kick in and Johnny Hollywoods Welfare Case Worker was digging thru the cabinets looking for more cheese and crackers.
-------------
:
-

The puppet jumped and the puppet danced.
The puppet ran around and around trying to complete each of the puppets assigned tasks.

-------------
Anonymous
-

Johnny Welfare Hollywood rode his Welfare Case Worker up Milwaukee Avenue tugging on her corn rolls to the left or right when he wanted her to take a turn for the better when He fell off and landed on his face ruining his modeling career forever.

"You got a lawsuit against the Welfare Johnny Hollywood." The man at the News stand told him patting his back as he went by.
-------------
:
-

Johnny Hollywoods Welfare Caseworker jumped outta the junk truck kissing Johnny Hollywood on the cheek telling him "I's just gonna turn two tricks be back here in a half hour."
Twenty nine minutes later Johnny Hollywood drove around and around the same block looking for His welfare case worker who told him to meet her back right there in front of the bus stop in thirty minutes.
One more time around and Johnny Hollywoods had the Po Po running his plate because He was acting suspicously with his redition of round and round.

They soon had Johnny Hollywoods out on the curb walking the line,giving them all his money and telling them clues and his life story."Well I was born on a lunch truck." He began.As Johnny Hollywood was giving the polease the status of his and Sweet Berthas relationshit his welfare case worker walked by waving a bag of triple cut herion at him.
-------------
:
-

i thought we couldnt be soulmates because of my credit report
-------------
Anonymous
-

do you mean three years or two years ?
-------------
Anonymous
-

i haven't seen you in 4 years and I still love you like it was for us 12 years ago
-------------
Anonymous
-

It was visitation day for Johnny Hollywood so He picked up his kids from the fat nasty biotches house and took them over to the Whore House that He played the guitar in and told the little bastards to pick them out a new Mom proper.
After lots of complaining wining and crying the little bastards still haven't choosen a new Mom.
As if they was Johnny Hollywoods Momma and wanted to make shure He never had a relationshit with anyone but a big fat nasty biotch,the problem with that was that Johnny Hollywood had done paid his dues with big fat nasty biotches early on in life and really didn't owe the society of heffers and mountian womenfolk any attention.In fact he even still had his Heffer merit badge he just couldn't find a blonde that sews to afix it to his outter wear so there would not be any question about it.

Finally Johnny Hollywoods told his kids that if they didn't pick a new Moms that he would do it for them and they knew they wouldn't like which ever one He choose just because He picked the Ho out.

So they looked at the dog nasty trolls and still came up with nothing,well until Johnny Hollywood took the kids over to the Methodone clinic and His youngest brat picked out a tall blonde with a big ol ass for her new Mom,but You Know Johnny Hollywood He likes good looking womens so He says "Sometimes bieng blonde aint enough,I ain't climbing that high fer no biotch."Johnny Hollywood said as He denied acceptance of the guard for the methodone clinics basket ball team.
-------------
:
-

Johnny Hollywood did bongs while Doctor Gail steadily refilled them with plastic government issue "Legal" artifical weed.

"You stoned Johnny?" Dr. Gail asked
"No,but I can't breath no more."Johnny Hollywood said.

All of Dr. Gail slammed the bong against the wall and started yelling and tugging on her socks.
"Why was You talking to another Girl?You bastard."

Johnny Hollywood held his headache and was hoping it would go away.
Then He remembered this same episoide taking place on a different stage and a different Doctor a hot one though.
"Can we smoke more bullshit." Johnny Hollywood asked.
-------------
:
-

Johnny Hollywoods was commencing to Woo his Welfare Case Worker in the dumpster proper so as He could write a real true to life blues song about it and impress this blonde He was in Love lust love lost lunch with,but He wasn't shure if she digs the blues and figured whats the sense in bieng a blues man if it was for some other reason than to have them blues and shure 'nuff caring about a girl like that could cause Johnny Hollywoods to get the as real as it gets blues
so it was right there from the heart with each of the thirty seven blonde induced solo.
-------------
:
-

Johnny Hollywoods Welfare CaseWorker pounded on the door of the hotel room as Sweet Bertha looked out the window thru the binocular cam. Johnny Hollywood woke up covered with smashed and half eaten donuts,crushed donut boxes,and empty coffee cups.
He was wearing Sweet Berthas holster loaded with donuts. His beloved Navigational System had been peirced with Sweet Berthas badge.
He looked around and for a clue,He knew the stake out must be going fine.

"I know Your in there Hollywood Johnny,We gotta get going if we are going to break into the pay phones today."Hollywood Johnnys Welfare Case Worker said thru the door.

Johnny Hollywood stumbled to the door and let his boss in and began to get ready for work.

"Ready for work?What work? panhandling for forty ouncers with Your case worker all day is not a job Johnny,If Your gonna live with my ass Your gonna have to get a Job." Sweet Bertha said as She changed batteries in the binocular cam.

Johnny Hollywoods and His welfare case Worker worked extra hard that day breaking into the pay phones with a big ass pry bar and then they hit the drive up window at wendys to gather change while the pimplely faced drive up window worker called the po po on them.
"We gotta make it quick." Johnny Hollywoods Welfare Case Worker said as She went inside Wendys to steal a roll of toilet paper.

Johnny Hollywoods Welfare Caseworker came running out of Wendys with a clear plastic container full of water and coins."Run Mother Censorfucker!" Johnny Hollywoods Welfare Case Worker said as she ran by Johnny Hollywood in a blur with a fat Mesikin biotch right on her tail.

Johnny Hollywood followed them around the corner into the alley where Johnny Hollywoods Welfare Case Worker stopped running turned around and beat the censorpiss outta the Wendys worker and took her hat and shoes.

"We gotta lay low a while" Johnny Hollywoods Welfare Case Worker said as they got on a bus to panhandle out front of the Welfare Office ,since there was still two hours left on her lunch break and right then was when she knew for sure that all them years of living ent names had payed off when they made her a caseworker she would never have to work again at getting checks in other peoples names her dues were paid and so was dis biotch the welfare way. Bieng all set in life got Johnny Hollywoods Welfare Case Worker ready to commence to breeding so as she could get a little vacation time in at the crib over in crack housing where she was required to pay seven dollars a month for her and the nine kids when the thirteen Mesikin Nizzles across the hall was paying twelve hundred a month because they had a Yob, but they also got a welfare check to so it wasn't all that bad,they just got to this country so they werent very far on the list for free crack housing since it may take a while depending on how white You are You might have to wait it out until Your kids is grown and then maybe when they gets a check from welfare thier number will be up and they can live in crack housing with the first generation nizzles who been there a while.

-------------
:
-

and my offerings are cast aside
my kindness seems unnessicary
without reason
effort to obtain a closeness
with the wind as it moves into nowhere
out of my hands

When in fact I know I could not find a better love
there is a heart wasted

-------------
:
-

Popularity

Nothing can change me,
Don't even try,
All of your friendship,
is just a lie.

If being popular,
Means being like you,
Then that is something,
I wouldn't do.

If it means being a bitch,
Count me out,
Truthfully I would rather,
To be left out.
It's just not worth it,
To be cruel and mean,
I just can't do it'
'Cause it's happened to me.

Chelsey Moorehead, aged 14

-------------
Chelsey Moorehead
-

"Leaking Piss Bag"

Leaking Piss Bag
Diaylisis Center

Leaking Piss Bag
Diailisis Center

Leaking Piss Bag
Diaylisis Center

You smell like a truck full of porta potties

-------------
Seizure Seventh Chords
-

"My Baby,Baby Remix"

My Baby Baby,She's Fucking a Cop
My Baby Baby,She's Fucking a Cop
It drives Me crazy,Wish She would stop
My Baby Baby,She's Fucking a Cop

Its within my rights
thats why I went to jail
theres a pig in my bed
who ain't going My bail

My Baby Baby,She's Fucking a Cop
My Baby Baby,She's Fucking a Cop
It drives Me crazy,Wish She would stop
My Baby Baby,She's Fucking a Cop

Whorecops feeding Him donuts
while I'm at work
with the money I made
she said she spent on dope

My Baby Baby,She's Fucking a Cop
My Baby Baby,She's Fucking a Cop
It drives Me crazy,Wish She would stop
My Baby Baby,She's Fucking a Cop

Seizure 7th Chords

-------------
Seizure Seventh Chords
-

"My Baby,Baby"

My Baby Baby,She's Fucking a Cop
My Baby Baby,She's Fucking a Cop
It drives Me crazy,Wish She would stop
My Baby Baby,She's Fucking a Cop

Its within my rights
thats why I went to jail
theres a pig in my bed
who ain't going My bail

My Baby Baby,She's Fucking a Cop
My Baby Baby,She's Fucking a Cop
It drives Me crazy,Wish She would stop
My Baby Baby,She's Fucking a Cop

Whorecops feeding Him donuts
while I'm at work
with the money I made
she said she gave to the church

My Baby Baby,She's Fucking a Cop
My Baby Baby,She's Fucking a Cop
It drives Me crazy,Wish She would stop
My Baby Baby,She's Fucking a Cop
-------------
Seizure 7th Chords
-

"My Baby,Baby"

My Baby Baby,She's Fucking a Cop
My Baby Baby,She's Fucking a Cop
It drives Me crazy,Wish She would stop
My Baby Baby,She's Fucking a Cop
-------------
Seizure Chords
-

why do we gotta go thru this
I try to find a girl hotter than you to make you jealose
when the whole time the goal is you
-------------
Anonymous
-

It was a week before check day and Johnny Broke Ass Nigga Hollywood baracaded himself in his room so that in the morning He would still have the dollar eighty six in his pocket.

It seemed to be a great plan and had worked up until now.

Well,You remember that biotch who was stalking Johnny Hollywood,right? Well the biotch that is stalking Johnny Hollywoods stalker was hiding in his room Anne Frank style and it wasn't to give him no piece of ass niether,no ma'am that crazy biotch hid out until Johnny barracaded the door and was sound asleep ,when she was shure he was snoring she done took all of Johnny Hollywoods life savings and bought a red bic lighter with it.When she was completely out of danger of bieng caught she went to the salvation army for breakfast and spread lies and rumours about Johnny Hollywood stealing every song he ever wrote from Alicia Silverstone.
-------------
:
-

Johnny Hollywood and his welfare caseworker were walking barefoot on the beach under the moonlight as the waves splashed on thier toes.This was the first time Johnny Hollywood had ever really been in love
.......with a link card.

Johnny Hollywoods welfare caseworker stepped on a piece of driftwood and lost her footing pulling Johnny Hollywood down with her. She then wanted to make angels in the sand but Johnny Hollywood had already planned to find another welfare recieptant to buy the credit he had on his link card for a third of its real grocery value and had to go like louie louie in line at the outhouse. So Johnny Hollywood told his welfare case worker "I'm going to go find a forklift to lift you outta that hole and I'll be right back." as he ran off with his link card in his hand.

Johnny Hollywoods first stop was his old caseworkers house but she didn't have any money so she told Johnny Hollywoods "Just do me for the credit on the link card."

"I knew it would come to this" Johnny Hollywood said as He ripped his eyes out of thier sockets so as he would not have to look at the non-art of ugly.
-------------
:
-

Johnny Hollywood had his one legged managers wheels in the air and was commencing to pornicate the biotch when Sweet Bertha's Mama burst into the room swinging a broom at a fat cripled up bitch.You never seen a fat biotch with one leg move so fast.

"God Damn You Johnny Hollywood Your like a damn old dog in heat,and after she done switched out Your little actress with a plain ol' generic barbie,thats a cruel sadistic bitch there,next You'll be in love with a government issue microchipped crackwhore,if You don't watch out Johnny Hollywood." Sweet Berthas Mama said as Johnny Hollywoods manager climbed out his second story hotel room window abandoning her wheel chair.

"Oh No I hope I don't have to milk this old nasty ass biotch." Johnny Hollywood thought as He turned to the door .
-------------
:
-

Johnny Hollywood was at the bar with a couple of hot strippers laughing and joking about how his manager lost her leg after she got beat by the cops with a night stick because they didnt want her hooking in the neighborhood like the shit was funny,Yeah He had them Ho's rolling in the floor with laughter when His manager rolled her wheel chair in the bar and rolled over Johnny Hollywoods six times and left him for dead under the pool table where he met Dawg. It was so dark under there He could not tell that she was not wearing a mask but He should have known since it was the middle of November.

"Whats a girl like You doing in a place like this?"Johnny Hollywood asked Fugly.

"Oh I work here." Dawg replied.
-------------
:
-

Johnny F.N. Hollywood sat in Doctor Gails office pissed off and frowning as Doctor Gail talked to Her Mom on the cell phone about what they was going to cook for Thanksgiving Dinner until He fell asleep.

When Johnny Hollywood woke up two hours later his pockets were turned inside out and his running shoes and Dr.Gail were gone.

Johnny Hollywood stood there barefoot and said "BIOTCH." Then he took down all of Dr. Gails Thomas Kincaid litograph copies and wrapped them in one of her fur coats that was hanging there and went out the backdoor,took the Mother Fuckers home and gave them to Sweet Bertha as soon as she walked in the door from plowing the fields around.

"They Shure do look nice hanging on the master bath wall in this here double wide." Sweet Bertha said as she crushed Johnny Hollywoods legs with the wieght of her triple wide ass.

"Oh!" Hollered Johnny Hollywood in a great deal of pain.

"Did Dr. Gail tell You why You love skinny Blondes,Johnny Hollywood? Or are you just wasting more of my welfare check,Why the hell can't that bitch take the medical card Johnny? Is she that high and mighty? Is she that dang good?Your a censorfucking nazi Johnny Hollywoods thats why You prefer to milk skinny no assed blondes,Now wheres my doctoring fee?"
Sweet Bertha asked a blur of questions giving Johnny Hollywood a headache from trying to answer to fast.

Finally Johnny Hollywood said, "Come on Baby ,lets go up to the liquor store with that ch eck."
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Johnny Hollywoods woke up in bed cuddling with his three hundred pound one legged manager and her wheel chair. He slowly opened his eyes thinking that it was his obease Welfare Case Worker, but didn't recall any metal on her globe shaped figure.

Johnny Hollywood knew he must have drank a lot the bed down with the heffer that kept switching out his fiancee of the day with another generic stunt double super model barbie babe, so often that Johnny Hollywoods had one of his "episodes" every time He heard "Who do You Love." because He truely did not know,Oh he knew her when He saw her but He didn't know who she was when the character was a lie to herself,and to Johnny Hollywoods heart becasue thats where you censorfucked up biotch.
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Nine A.M. Monday morning Johnny Hollywood's junk truck was parked in front of the fire hydrant right outside the Welfare Office on Lawrence Avenue as He was getting down and dirty with his fifty eight year old obease Afro-American Welfare Case Worker, the line of recieptants on the sidewalk looked on while Officer Sweet Bertha wrote up a pile of tickets for Johnny loverboy Hollywood,Slapped them under the windshield wiper and said,"Here You go,Your gonna need a check."

Later that morning when Johnny Hollywood entered the lobby of the welfare office with his hair mussed and his shirt buttoned wrong,all the other welfare recieptants laughed and laughed at Johnny Hollywood.
He was so embarrased he vowed to leave his welfare caseworker and go get a job.
Johnny Hollywood finally did get a job but he didn't have the nerve to tell his welfare caseworker it was over so He just kept on drawing his welfare check while he was working the french fry machine and saved enough money to buy himself a Welfare Cadillac,and what a nice "Hoop-D" that welfare Cadillac was indeed.
But then the bad news Johnny Hollywoods welfare caseworker was not going to be seen around town in Johnny Hollywoods junk truck when he had that bad ass welfare cadillac deluxe Hoop D ville.
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"Sweet Bertha was due to come back home on leave from the gas war in Iraq any day now and Johnny Hollywood had dirty nasty Squalls from Three different Indian Reservations in Wisconsin living in the yard,next to the trailer,under the trailer and one living in the shed,When it got cold at night they burnt Sweet Bertha's patio furniture and they was told three times not to bathe their pets in Sweet Bertha's bidet that Johnny Hollywoods had just installed in the living room of the trailer as a surprise to Sweet Bertha instead of a yeller ribbon." The Seventh Lord of the Cat Box said as He jumped the turnstile at the "L" station in front of some kind of a cop who chased him shot him in the leg and he fell onto the third rail and was electricuted and then seconds later run over by the "L train at sixty miles an hour and parts of his body were scattered everywhere and eaten by rats.
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Johnny Hollywood was sleeping soundly in the lawn chair in Dr. Gails office.

Doctor Gail was doing a crossword puzzle when the alarm went off.
"Oh I'm sorry Mr. Hollywood,thats all of the time we have for today." Doctor Gail said as she was scooting Him towards the door.

"What about my problem,My god you've got to help me."Johnny Hollywood demanded.

"What can I do Johnny Hollywood Your in love but shes connected somehow some way to another band and your parinoid shes a spy and Your gonna flush the only chance to connect with your true soulmate if in fact she has a soul...who gives a censorfuck Johnny Hollywood,same old story new day every day the same old shit.I recommend that You drink more Johnny and quit making the biggest deal outta losing something you'll never have,now see the cashier." Doctor Gail said as she pushed his crazy ass out the door and slammed it.

Johnny Hollywood knew that she must be his soulmate and that infact she must have a soul and that it was written somewhere in the heavens that he should be doin' this actress who could make him forget who He was or who he thought he was or who he could never be .
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:Doctor Catsburger,Doctor Catsburger
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The Health Department came and put orange stickers on the front door of Johnny Hollywoods Mommas Whore House and then took some of the nasty trolls with them leaving the Whorehouse almost compeletly empty.
So Johnny Hollywoods Momma had the remaining trolls put signs out front advertising for the "Going Out Of Bizness Sale" she was planning to have.

"Even though those were the nastiest ugliest trolls in three solar systems its still not the same playing my gee tar in a whorehouse when they're aint no gosh darn whores." Johnny Hollywood said to himself as He went out the door to find the answer to all of lifes problems."Snatch-a-soreous."

Johnny Hollywood drove up Wilson Avenuee
half a block until he found most ugliest disgusting crackwhore you ever wished you never seen.

As soon as Johnny Hollywoods brought the puke faced Ho back Home to meet his Momma he tried to explain to the two dollar Wilson Avenue whore that she should put toilet paper down on the toilet seat before she sat down on it because granny spits and shits all over it on a daily basis and Johnny Hollywoods shure nuff didn't want this two dollar Wilson Avenue whore to catch something from the toilet seat at the Hollywood Estate and sue them like the last two dollar Wilson Avenue Whore He brought home was doing.
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:Doctor Catsburger,Doctor Catsburger
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"The fans turned on Johnny F.N. Hollywood and told him he was not doing enough for his brother/bassplayer/co-songwriter/alternative lead vocals who died." Box Car Jesus told the Cat Box Poet as they stood first in line fer free vittles at the Jesus People cult soup kitchen.

"Johnny Hollywood loves the plate of beans and rice,little chunks of horse meat and big stale hard bread, a little styrofoam cup of cold tea and an expired old school yogut donated from Jewels and all the salt,pepper and butter anyone could ever want in thier life,thats why He's fast at eating,so He could be the first one up when they call for seconds everytime."The Cat Box Poet added.

"Oh yeah,I've seen Johnny Hollywood step on three old senial biotches on the way up fer another little cup of tea water." Box Car Jesus bragged.

"You did not,Johnny Hollywoods a good boy." Officer Sweet Bertha said, as she cut in line behind the filthy homeless alcoholic bums for free vittles like the rest of the nieghborhood knocking down an old man with a cane.

"Hey, why don't you coppers go to the donut shop for free food?" said the seventy nine year old man as he swung his cane at Sweet Berthas great big ass.

Sweet Bertha pulled out her police issue thrity eight and shot the mans cane into splinters,leaving him with only a handle to hold onto,then she fired two warning shots into the side of the old mans grocery basket full of laundry that he brang with him everywhere.

In an instant Sweet Bertha grabbed the old bastards arm and tried to rip it off his body as she flipped him over face down into the side walk and stepped on the back of his neck causing his dentures to come out and cuffed his crusty ass liver spotted arthritic hands together to tight and deposited The mans false teeth into a plastic bag and wrote "evidience" on the side of it.
Then Sweet Bertha manned the handheld police radio almost out of breath and called for back up.

"Eleven Bertha Eddie over,Eleven Bertha Eddie Over" Sweet Bertha repeated into the Microphone.

"You didn't read me my rights." The old bastard slurred uninteligiable.

"Shut the censorfuck up bitch" Sweet Bertha said as she kicked him in the mouth with her government issue marching boots she had from when she went to boot camp the second time.

Two hours later

Sweet Bertha walked in the door of her thirty fifth floor high rise apartmant over looking the lake and the sailboat docks and the way she threw her hat down
Johnny Hollywoods knowed that the biotch was mad so he ran and got her a beer outta the fridge ,opened it and handed it to her.

She grabbed it outta Johnny Hollywoods hand and chugged it then burped right into his face,crushed the can and throwed it in the floor on the brand new white carpeting and said
"Wheres my friggin' donut?"
"Right Here baby." Johnny Hollywood said as he came running with a great big box of dunuts only stopping to look at that hot cop ass.
Johnny Hollywood loved that generic blonde ponytail and the way her badge glistened in the moonlight that reflected off Lake Michigan at night thru the sliding doors on Sweet Berthas small patio.

"Damn Houseboy,ain't worth a censorfuck." Jag Officer
Sweet Bertha told her lesbian lover/partner in policing activies as she removed her tie.
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Winner Winner Winner

Miss November 2005

Heidi
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"Johnny Hollywoods Welfare Caseworker was supposed to be teaching Johnny Hollywoods how to play golf so He could maybe smoooze His way into a big commercial record deal and become gainfully employed,but as it turned out,All He was learning about the game of golf was that Big Bertha was the name of Johnny Hollywoods Welfare Caseworker's favo- rite golfing stick and that she wanted a bottle of brewski opened and ready for Her fat ass at each and every tee he carried Her lunch cooler,make up case and Golf bag to." Box Car Jesus told Doctor Catsburger as He turned His cart over and it instantly became a makeshift tent for half a person or a smal animal.

"Why don't You try two carts?" Doctor Catsburger asked.

"Two carts? Nigga Hows You think I'm gonna push two Mother Fucking Carts down the Mother Fucking alley?
I'll be doing twiced the work,Who the fuck is You? The Taxman?" Box Car Jesus exclaimed.

Doctor Catsburger afraid Box Car Jesus' condition could esculate tazed him into next week with the Bertha Meds.
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Johnny Hollywood was getting thirsty so He rode up to the salloon and tied his horse up out front.
He walked thru the swinging doors like He was Clint Eastwood expecting to hear some Merle Haggard on the Juke Box but,instead He got to listen to some fat biotch sing croakee,Her rendition of Four Non-Blondes Thirty Six times in a row was enough to make Johnny Hollywood puke in His shoes. After that Johnny Hollywoods got used to the Fat Biotch singing the Four Non-Blondes Fat Biotch Croakee Anthym,Like an aquired taste and after a few more than a few beverages, Johnny Lizard Hollywood soon wanted to cover The big rock ballad with the aforementioned Fat Nasty Biotch.
"Its better than Tracy Chapman." The Fat Nasty Croakee Goddess told Johnny Hollywoods.

Johnny Hollywood puked in His shoes again,and it was then that He knew He had to get the Fat Biotch home quick before He sobbered up or at least out to the parking lot,You know in the name of Rock and Roll
but She still had four dollars and if He drank faster than Her He might get three more beersch outta the deal.
He thought!

Right about that time Johnny Hollywoods Navigational System went off as Sweet Bertha Cakes struted in the door and Johnny Hollywood woke up outta the Fat nasty Biotch induced coma and saw what a real woman looked like and set the milk pail down under the table and moved up to the bar right after Sweet Bertha slapped a twenty down on the bar,and not just because her looks intoxicated Him and He could save money by drinking less when she was around whether she could sing a note or not and if in fact it was not the chances were even better that He wouldn't have to suffer thru "Whats Going On." much more.
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The Upstairs Maid packed her shit in a suitcase and went out the front door of the trailer.
Johnny Hollywoods was running after her begging her not to go."Wait baby,I was going to take You to fredricks of Hollywood today,where You gettin' Off to?"

"I'm leaving the cult." The upstairs Maid Yelled as the Neighbors looked on.
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Sweet Bertha got a look at the rock on Johnny Hollywoods Ho's finger and commenced to wrastling with her right quick.
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It was the First of the Mother Fucking Month and Johnny hollywood was at the mall with the high tempature upstairs maid looking for a suitable jewerly store.
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Up the Alley a block North of here,Box Car Jesus was pushing the half full cart He rightfully bought from Aldi's with twenty-five cents American.

"Johnny Hollywood took the Upstairs maid out for a candlelit dinner over at the soup kitchen,where He had to bring Your his own candles and bring his own champagne,then as Johnny Hollywood begat lighting the damn hard to find black candles the security guard gets his panties in a twist about the fire code and Johnny Hollywood had to tip him two food stamps to mind his own bizness." Box Car Jesus told Johnny Hollywoods Caseworker as He passed her the bottle.

Johnny Hollywoods Welfare Caseworker took the bottle and turned it straight up and killed it in a matter of seconds just as Sweet Bertha turned down the alley in her Crown Vic so You know she had to get out and hassle the homeless.
"Her blonde ponytail was just fucking lovely as a gosh dogged Barbie dolls" Box Car Jesus said as Sweet Bertha massaged Her police issue thrity eight cailber hand gun.
"Better zip it Box Car." Johnny Hollywoods caseworker advised him.
After Sweet Bertha ran Box Car Jesus' name and Johnny Hollywoods caseworkers Names and dug thru thier pockets, purse and shopping cart,
Officer Sweet Bertha found an American flag in the shopping cart and ripped it in half to see if Box Car Jesus was hiding something inside it.
"Hows come ya alls tearin' up my damn flag,Sir?" Box Car Jesus wined.

Sweet Bertha ripped the cloth some more just to watch Box Car Jesus cringe. Johnny Hollywoods case worker reached into her purse and found a chicken leg from when she stopped at popeyes chicken this morning on the way in to work and she began her lunch break.
Just then Sweet Bertha got a call on her police radio.
As soon as Sweet Bertha pulled away,Cinnamon climbed from behind a couch someone had thrown away in the alley and asked "Sup?"
Johnny Hollywoods Caseworker told Her "They located the nasty squall the health department was driving around the hood looking for all weekend and Sweet Bertha was on the case like cracksores on your mothers face."
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"The Magic Crackwhore came back to Johnny Two Times Hollywood and He commenced to wooing Her with all His heart and You know that girls a klyptomaniac so in the middle of the romancing activies she steals His burger King coupons and take them up the street and tried to trade them for that crap that makes her milk so magic To Johnnny Hollywoods,that He uses it in His coffee every morning,and when He don't get that extra boost coffee every morning He gets pretty iratable." Johnny Hollywoods New improved Upstairs Maid told Box Car Jesus as She done her shopping right off his shopping cart collection.

"You can have the cart and everything in it for six bucks." Box Car Jesus Told the Magic Crackwhore.

"Why are You selling Your Cart?" The new improved Upstairs maid asked really concerned like.
"Oh its caused me so much trouble,When I got my last welfare check I took the cart over to the welding shop and had them fix the wheel and then right after that the po po had done arrested me for possesion of stolen cart because I didn't have the title back from down state ."
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Oh I don't know its You
Who
oh I don't have a clue
just who
who can You pastably be?
Oh I just don't know
You are so tricky
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Anonymous
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its just senseless How her beautiful blonde hair reminds me of Your curly darker hair
How her beautiful baby blue eyes remind me of your beautiful brown eyes
how your frame height size all differ
but I am reminded of you
it must be your little turned up noses

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it domt matter if your mad when no knows who you are
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Anonymous
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Johnny Hollywoods got the blues so bad
down at the crossroads
heaven wasn't there.
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Johnny Hollywoods took the blues down to the crossroads at midnight and the devil wasn't there,
well she was there
in Johnny Hollywoods heart
but she wasn't present and accounted for at that time.
So Johnny Hollywood looked around for maybe a waiting list to sign up on or something of that nature.

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ran da trav a
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Anonymous
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Sweet Bertha went into a fit of rage
ripping up Johnny Hollywoods manuscript and hollerin' so dang load You could hear her across the trailer park.
"Who the censorfuck is You writing to Johnny ,Readers Digest?"
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randa ran da what
bears?
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Anonymous
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Johnny Hollywoods manager "Cripdik" changed out Johnny Hollywoods upstairs maid.although He noticed He fell in love with the devil in love for real this time meaning never any other time was there a real-er love
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Johnny Hollywood and the Upstairs maid went on the most romantic little shopping spree for food stuffs over at the walmarts and Johnny Hollywoods was never happier He was so in love He spent twenty seven dollars and asked Her to be his personel shopper.
"Whats a personal shopper?"
She asked.
"How the censorfuck do I know."Johnny Hollywood told her.
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"Johnny Hollywoods was very disturbed

He was

all on the account of Johnny Hollywoods Momma letting Johnny Hollywoods second wife that nasty Ho "Shefield" sleep in the yard next to the whorehouse because she felt sorry for the old prostitute and the biotch was so nasty even Johnny Hollywoods Mommas trolls were worth more than her on the open market and everyone knowed that a feller could have the whole tribe of trolls fer the night with an eighth of a can of pork and beans.
So day in and day out this nasty ass Ho is camping inside the property lines of the Jerry Springer Estates Trailer park right there on the same lot number as Johnny Hollywoods and Sweet Berthas double wide was sitting under the God damn tarping materials that Johnny Hollywoods brought home fer his granny to paint white and make a chicken proof wedding dress for the biggest nastiest heffer of a mountian woman Johnny Hollywood could fetch over at the walmarts." The Upstairs maid told the oriental babe who was doing her nails while Johnny Hollywood waited in the parking lot and revved his engine.
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Sweet Bertha had done found out that Johnny Hollywoods got married up to another whilst He was Married up to Sweet Berthas great big ass.

Johnny Hollywood tried this for an excuse,"I remember bitches by thier ass,if Your ass changes then I can't remember who You are until I see that ass in its original form and I was reconizing Her ass and not Yours temporaily".

Sweet Bertha pulled out her M-16 and Johnny Hollywoods was singing a whole new tune,I think it was Joe Cocker.

Johnny Hollywoods manager rolled by in her wheel chair talking on her headset about the rights to "The making of Berthas ass part one."

And just to piss Sweet Bertha off Johnny Hollywoods said "I done Her."
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The Upstairs Maid went into one of her Tiffs and told Johnny Hollywood "Quit looking Me." And Johnny Hollywoods had that girl in Vegas at a drive up divorce window in twelve hours,talking about Shes keeping the Cat.
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Johnny Hollywood was making up with Sweet Bertha for making up with the Upstairs Maid to many times in one day when Johnny Hollywoods most favorite crackwhore in three counties started throwing pea gravel at his window and whispering "Johnny!Johnny!" Then When Johnny Hollywood asked Sweet Bertha to leave She got pissed off and started taking shots at the crackwhore from the second floor window,missing by just a few feet and Johnny Hollywoods been sleeping on the back porch ever since.
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Sweet Bertha found Johnny Hollywoods typewriter and shot holes in it saying he was using it to communicate with other womens thus ruining the entire garage sale and causing a scene in front of the other trailer park welfare recieptiants.
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"Johnny Hollywood woke up alone in the shelter and Sweet Bertha had stole his damn work boots again only this time it really was winter and Johnny Hollywoods feets ended up really cold.So needless to say Johnny Hollywoods couldn't get sent out to work at daily pay that day since He had no shoes on his God Damn feet." Johnny Hollywoods Attorney told the leader of the Cross Threaded Lesbian Mafia and Johnny Hollywoods Welfare Caseworker who were sharing a booth and drinking pitchers.
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Johnny Hollywoods grandma had to sew the damn curtians together because the womens on the island was so damn ugly.
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"O.K. Grandma heres You a chili dog I want You to get started on that white wedding dress for the gosh darn crack whore now remember shes a size seven." Johnny Hollywoods told his Granny proper.

"I ain't making no darn wedding dresses,Go buy one." Granny told Johnny Hollywood straight out.

"Come on Grandma don't wait til' she gets away" Johnny Hollywood begged his Granny to get to sewing.

"Nope, and don't have womenfolks calling here,You'll turn this into a whorehouse "His Granny told him again.

"Come on grandma and could You sew a little pocket on it for her crackpipe to Grandma?"Johnny Hollywood tried to work out a deal.
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"Johnny Hollywoods welfare caseworker started stalking him around town and even showed up at his job, there he was driving up the alley at Ravenswood and Lawernce looking in the garbage for Junk metal and she was in a cab right behind him,up one alley down the next.Finally Johnny Hollywood stopped the truck and yelled back to her "Its over,don't make me get a restraining order on Your fat ass."

Johnny Hollywoods caseworker jumped out of the cab and ran up to him crying and Johnny Hollywood didn't want to see her cry to he jumped out of the truck and took her into his arms again and fifteen minutes later they was digging thru garbage together like old times 'er yesterday." Box Car Jesus told the fellers at the homeless camp next to the tracks as he pounded on the wheel that was stuck on his cart with a rock the size of his head.
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Johnny Hollywood burst thru the door with a gallon of white paint and couple of chaulpas and enough tarping material to cover the entire house.

"Granny I got this stuff for You to fix a nice wedding tarp so as I can get married up right quick to a great big nasty heffer" Johnny Hollywood said as He handed Granny her Chalupas.

"I ain't sewing nothing You dont need to be married,You'll turn this into a whorehouse" Says Granny.

"Grandma it is a whorehouse remember? Asked Johnny Hollywood.

"Cut Cut Cut" Big roxie yells thru the bullhorn as she rolls her wheel chair across the stage into the upstairs maids feet.

"What You do that for?Hey Johnny this is the biotch I seen coming out of Your securitys room last night when he was supposed to be blocking fat biotches from getting near You while You drink in public." The Upstairs maid said about Big Roxie.
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As soon as the Mayors Daughter started spending quality time with a Nizzle like Mr. Hollywood he figured He didn't need no more God Damn link card and took His big ass caseworkers clothes and knick knacks and the two dozen roses he brought her yesterday and he bucket of fried chicken and her yeast infection ointments and threw it out all over the front yard in front of the damn trailer as the neighbors watched and laughed.

Then the upstairs maid said he looked like he was tense and massaged his neck and back until He gave Her more jewerly.
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Johnny Hollywood had Gretchen behind the bar giving her a dollar every time she clicked Her heels together When Sweet Bertha walked in the bar.
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Johnny Hollywood tried to bribe his Granny with a beef sandwich into sewing up a white wedding dress for Sweet Bertha.
"No I'm not going to,that woman has kids."Granny Said.
"Gimmie Back that beef sandwich." Johnny Hollywood cried as Granny tossed it into the floor to the pets.

Johnny Hollywood quickly recovered about a third of the beef sandwich and wrapped it up and hoped on the "L" train to Uptown to see if He could get laid with it.
It took a while but Johnny Hollywood found an old bag lady filling a shopping basket with the treasures she found checking the dumpsters in the alley at Dakin and Wilson who was willing to make a deal.

When Johnny Hollywood came back home to the Upstairs Maid and told her what He had done and She slapped him into next week "Whats wrong with You Johnny Hollywood?That third of a beef is worth a lot more than that little bit of pork and beans."
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"The Upstairs Maid was the hottest bitch Johnny Hollywood ever laid eye on.So it was like the happiest day of his sorry ass life when she gave him a lapdance as he sat in the tattoo palour and got his "Sweet Bertha" tattoo removed." Sweet Bertha told her attorney as she burst out in tear s.
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"The god damn crack whore came back home to Johnny Hollywood like a damn dog that run off and the upstairs maid wouldn't even let the biotch in the door.
So needless to say they done spent a lot of time making up that night." Johnny Hollywoods award winning landscaper told the other apprentice landscapers in thier native tongue .
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Johnny Hollywoods was so damn upset when he found out Sweet Bertha was in love with another man,That He took to drinking early that day and before lunch time He had got into two fights, got arrested, bonded out ordered a pizza then bought a truck full of illegal aliens, took the mens to laborworld and set them free and took the womens back home to practice drinking games with,until Johnny Hollywood passed out in front of the fire with the Upstairs maid naked and Johnny Hollywoods Momma stole the illegal alien womens Johnny Hollywood worked so hard to be able to buy a truck full of them which only equaled a half a truck full."Most likely a result of the achohol abuse" Sweet Bertha said.
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Johnny Hollywood woke up in a big heart shaped bed under his welfare caseworker and Sweet Bertha.
He was sick and he was also sickened but if He puked it would choke him to death
so He figured that would be the easiest way to go and the fastest way to rid himself of the problem and so without no suicide note well except for his entire song catalog but thats just rock and roll or the blues in some cases,anyway the mother censor fucker decieded to die and tried to puke himself out of this world but as soon as he started to soil his caseworker she got a twitch and moved and
Johnny Hollywood was then himlick removered by Sweet Bertha then she threw his ass onto the bed to resesitate him back to life with her life saving lips she brought our Hero back around then shock treatmented his puerto rican ass back into the islands.

"He ain't no Puerto Rican" said Johnny Hollywoods award winning landscaper.
"It don't matter what he is he's mine." Said Johnny Hollywoods welfare caseworker
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Johnny Hollywood woke up and the sheets were black.
the room was dark he could hear the phone ringing.
He had no ideal he was to fucked up to walk or where he was even but He wanted to puke as the upstairs maid slid across Him and answered the phone her blonde hair falling into his eyes. He knew He had never knew love before this moment here now,then the biotch says "Johnny Hollywood, Its Bertha calling collect from the damn jailhouse.

Johnny Hollywood wanted to commence to breeding wit her right quick but the nizzle was to damn sick
even for a biotch so fine to get with
He could not move He was to weak to even wish he was dead,Then he got a look at that ass
and everyone lived happily after
The End.
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"Now You Fix It!" Sweet Bertha said as She held the warm steel barrel to Johnny Rotten Fucknuts Hollywoods head.

Johnny Hollywoods was sweating from every pour in his face,He was fearing for his life because He knowed the biotch was crazier than dog shit.

Johnny Hollywood was under a lot of pressure.
He had the cat box apart and was installing new plumbing to it He had the pumps from inside the two different coffee maker machines hooked up to two different drain systems at once and they both was clogged.

You See, Since Sweet Bertha is was or might never will be Johnny Hollywoods soulmate biotch,She had first rights on his projects he had got to work on or finish up the Sir Edward Lowe Project or Project Catbox as the secret files calls it and his little snookems was the perfect catbox guinne pig,But When Sweet Bertha had caught Johnny Hollywoods at the mall eating pretzels with the Upstairs maid and telling the bitch He wanted to check her Catbox the Honeymoon was over.

"You fix the dag gone catbox like it was Johnny Hollywoods and hurry up because I want You to run down to the covient store and get me some sanitary napkins"Sweet Bertha said as she pistol whipped Johnny Hollywoods in the damn head.
"Ouch" Johnny Hollywood s aid.
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Johnny Hollywoods and his Brother walked up the alley as the cold wind howled at them and blew trash past them to the Dunkin Donuts. Johnny Hollywood laughed as they ordered hot coffee and he refused the Boston Creme donut they tried to give him saying "I want the captians donut." Pointing at the biggest donut on the shelf. The chubby eastern indian shook his head "No" and said "No, Brother I can not give this to You."
Johnny Hollywood went into a fit until he got his way.

On the way back down the same alley Johnny Hollywood and his brother laughed and laughed as He held onto the coffee cup to warm his playing hand and ate the oversized donut,They did not hear Sweet Berthas Squad car pull into the alley until it was to late.
Sweet Bertha jumped out of the Caprice and started spinning her knight stick,she knocked Johnny Hollywood to the ground causing him to lose his "Captians donut" and the coffee too.
Johnny Hollywoods brother ran into the night.
When Johnny Hollywood got to his feet Sweet Bertha said "Spread 'Em" and kicked Johnny Hollywoods feets apart his hands rested on the hood of the nineteen ninty five Chevy Caprice's hood under the surface of the hood was some real high tech shit prints and told who he was spontainiously.
Sweet Bertha smacked Johnny Hollywoods in the Navigational system area and he fell over in the alley again.She then emptied his pockets and looked in his left shoe where she found a picture of Gina and tore it in half.
"You better keep Your nose clean Johnny Hollywood!" The beautiful blonde ponytail said as she got back in her car.
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:Doctor Catsburger,Doctor Catsburger
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Box Car Jesus and The Seventh Lord of The Catbox pushed thier shopping carts down the alley as Box Car Jesus broke it down to The Seventh Lord Of Thy Holy Cat Box.

"Johnny Hollywoods and His Welfare Caseworker got to the scales so early that morning they was only behind twenty five mesikin Junk Trucks before they could dump thier load and get the check. Johnny Hollywoods was flying over the bridge nearly twenty miles over the limit on the way to the currency exchange, When Johnny Hollywoods Welfare Caseworker gave out a holler
"Pull this damn truck to the curb!"

Johnny Hollywoods pulled over cause He shure didn't wanna get cut off welfare not as cold as it is this time of Year. As soon as Johnny Hollywoods pulled the truck up to the curb at the bottom of the bridge on Division Skeez Biotches started coming outta the wood work.
A couple of Ho's wearing High Heels and Daisy Dukes came up to Johnny Hollywoods wind-der and Sweet Bertha came over to Johnny Hollywoods caseworkers window and says "What are You into?"

Johnny Hollywoods Welfare Caseworker says "Skinny Ass White Girls,Now get in the cah biotch."

Johnny Hollywoods had never been so jealose in all His life,this was Sweet Bertha his Soulmate of at least six minutes and now His Caseworker was gonna woo her before He got a chance to steal her away and marry up to Her right quick.

Johnny Hollywood pulled up to the Hotel office and as soon as his fat fuck caseworker got her humoung-a-fuck ass out the junk truck Johnny Hollywood was trying to do a wheelie thru the Hotel parking lot.

"I'm a getaway driver" Johnny Hollywood told Sweet Bertha as He looked into her Heaven Blue eyes.
"Good cause I need one." Sweet Bertha told him,fixing Her cleavage.

Johnny Hollywood drove like a bat out of hell running stop signs and stop lights the whole way back to the trailer park.
Sweet Bertha was getting Him all worked up and ready for Love,Lust or anything inbetween.
A soon as Johnny Hollywood opened the trailer door he grabed the mini cam and handed it to Sweet Bertha and took the Upstairs maid by the hand and said "Roll 'Em."
And the en the hottest porno flick Johnny Hollywood ever made to this day."
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:Doctor Catsburger,Doctor Catsburger
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Johnny Hollywoods fixed his clip on tie as the photographer snapped away at The Mayors Daughter And Johnny Hollywood
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Anonymous
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Sweet Bertha was tailing Johnny Hollywood from a block away and He didn't even notice until the whorecop hiding in the alley gave him notifacation."Don't look back." said the Narc-ing Ho. Johnny Hollywood looked back anyway.
"Thats Sweet Bertha alright." He could see the obligatory generic blonde ponytail and his Navagational system went off beep beep beep His brain said blonde.

Sweet Bertha still stayed in the shadows trying not to blow her cover that was already blown.

As she pulled up to the stop light, Box Car Jesus ran out in the middle of the street with a five gallon bucket he had got from Johnny Hollywood and slapped the wet Squeegee on Sweet Berthas wind-der and started wiping it down.

As soon as Johnny Hollywood seen that, He took the whorecop by the hand and disapeared down the gangway where he took to wooing her improperly in someones 1977 ford granada out in thier garage.
"Hey its either here or the dumpster." Johnny Hollywood told the hot whorecop.

"This Mother Fucker don't give a Fuck." The Whorecop said afterwards as She headed back towards Broadway.
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On the off ramp The Seventh Lord of the Catbox and Box Car Jesus' shopping carts was tied to the fence as Box Car Jesus tried to get in a days work before the weather took its Natural coarse.

"Johnny Francis Nicolas Hollywood had to open up a can of whoop ass on Sweet Berthas Butler this mornin' when He wanted to play that game and not tell her Johnny Hollywoods was at the Mother Fucking Doh,Then He came over to the homeless camp knocking over Mother Fuckers shopping carts and stealing bottles away from some of the fellers." Box Car Jesus said as He held the squeegee up into the air for a couple of seconds and then said "The wind is coming from the South so its gonna rain in forty five minutes."

The Seventh Lord of the CatBox just shook his head and drank from the forty ounce bottle of Beersch.

"Meanwhile Johnny Hollywood was at the factory working like three Mesikins for twenty three dollars for the ten hours it takes him,It isn't really that bad,I mean work is work right?and Right now any Mother CensorFucker can tell ya,Works is down." Box Car Jesus went on.

"So thats his alibi?" The Seventh Lord of The Holy Cat Box asked.

"But Johnny Hollywoods wasn't at the daily pay office at tall that morning." The Copsucker selling pinjoints of crushed seeds told anyone who asked and some who didn't.

"No Johnny Hollywoods wasn't working that morning,like his welfare caseworker sent him out to do." Sweet Bertha repeated as she scribled into her little notepad like she was about to crack the case wide open any second now.

"Oh Hell No, Johhny don't work, He was over here at the Bakers Square that Morning with the Upstairs Maid like he always does during the week calling her the names of the pies,like french silk or apple pie then cheese cakes ,and like that." The manager of the bakers Square told Sweet Bertha while Bertha made wild crazy faces.
Sweet Bertha didn't know what to think..."If He was in love with the biotch then why did He bring her here to eat was He trying to kill her or what?,
This could be an insurance scam that will make me Captian, Sweet Bertah thought.
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:Doctor Catsburger,Doctor Catsburger
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Johnny Hollywood took the Mayors Daughter over to the Olive Garden and as soon as they was seated at a table Johnny Hollwoods Welfare Caseworker came running over from the bar giving Him a big hug almost knocking the Mayors Daughter down, Then Johnny Hollywoods Welfare Caseworker invited Herself to thier table and made her self the center of everyones attention the entire dinner,Which wasn't that hard to do,Seeing as how she was sitting between them and she was bigger than a house.
As soon as Johnny Hollywoods Welfare caseworker got up to refresh her self Johnny Hollywood started rapping to the Mayors Daughter since He could now see her and the only interruption for the next five minutes was Cinnimon coming over to the table to borrow a spoon. "Have them all" Johnny Hollywood told the Ho. He had never seen Cinnimon so happy as she filled her pockets with silverware.
"I can't take her nowhere." Johnny Hollywood told the Mayors Daughter.
"Lets get outta here Johnny Hollywood." The Mayors Daughter told him,Hoping to lose his caseworker in the crowd.
"Oh No, I better pay for the caseworkers dinner or there could be reprocussions." Johnny Hollywood told Her.

"Its really not that bad." Johnny Hollywood whispered into the Mayors Daughters ear as they shared a seat on the "L" train and Johnny Hollywoods caseworker sat on both thier laps. "UHHH." The Mayors Daughter said,dramaticlly.
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The Mayor again offered up his daughter and the key to the city and Johnny Hollywood needing a date just said "Fuck it" and agreed to take the Biotch out,since it seemed like it might not cost him anything.

Johnny Hollywood took the biotch over to the scrap yard as the first stop and sold the damn key to the city for drinking money just in case things got rough and He had to ditch Cupcake.
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Johnny Hollywood was walking down the alley looking in the dumpsters when He seen Silvia and her Nizzle drinking a forty,thats when she gave him a holler and he knew he had to go over there but He had no ideal how he was going to get Silvia away from her nizzle long enough to pornicate her proper.

The topic turned to beverages as soon as everyone said thier "How do's" and Johnny Hollywood thought about it for a minute and then agreed to help them drink up the forties and risk catching Tuberculous from Silvias Nizzle but its the chance He would have to take if the Alley Squall of the day and so, after some considerable amount of drinking Silvias nizzle had to report to the welfare office to find out what had happened to his medical card because it never showed up and there was some medications he was wanting to get over to the drug store and pick up. SO Johnny Hollywoods offers to keep Silvia's cup full while her nizzle tended to his bizness over at the welfare office.
after that it took about damn near twenty five minutes for Silvia to walk her fat ass three blocks so Johnny Hollywood could check her worn out nizzlefied
tri-colored catbox,Oh he checked it alright and it looked to be on a recall list,Only next time Her and her nizzle had called Johnny Hollywoods made damn shure he wasn't at home.
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The sun was shining high in the sky as Johnny Hollywood took the upstairs maids hand and led her to a wheatfield and made sweet Love to her and then promised to marry her proper.
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Sweet Bertha made peanutbutter and Jelly sandwiches with her feets for Johnny Hollywoods lunch and tried to hurry him out the door to look fer a damn job before daylight.
"Your pretty good at cooking Sweet Bertha ,How you never even left the couch and made my lunch." Johnny Hollywood told her trying to win some points so as He could just stay home and snuggle the morning away instead of go out there in that cold winter air and freeze his ass off,when He knowed he won't gonna find no damn job anyway.

"Not until Your gainfully employed." Sweet Bertha told him as he went out the door.

"Fuck looking fer a job." Johnny Hollwood said as he
tried to figure out a way to practice his guitar
during the day
so that he would jam faster better and even louder,
but at the same time make it look like he was working just as Sweet Bertha had suggested earlier, so he could get hot little blondes like Heidi intrested in his ro ckstarness.
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Johnny Hollywoods was looking die-rectly into the blinding light,He could make out Sweet Berthas beautiful blonde Hair shining in the sun light but the reflection off her badge was blinding him.
Faster than Johnny Hollywoods could milk the old crackwhore Sweet Bertha had done slapped the handcuffs on Johnny Hollywoods to tight like always and slammed his face into the hood of the Crown Vic twice.

"Is You happy to see me Sweet Bertha or is that a tazer in Yourn bullet proofed vest there Cupcakes?" Johnny Hollywood asked.

Sweet Bertha banged Johnny Hollywoods head and face around on the back door of the Crown Vic a little before she threw him faced down in the gravel and Said,"You remember riding My sister down the Highmoor hill on Yer damn skateboards You bastard?"

Johnny Hollywood remembered holding on to Sweet Berthas sister coming down the hill hitting a rock and the wheels stopping suddenly and him and Sweet Berthas sister flying off into the air and rolling together down the hill in each others arms and when they came to a stop he remembered slipping her the tongue as Sweet Bertha ran to see if they was O.K.,"Yeah ,I remember." Johnny Hollywood said as Sweet Bertha turned him over and stepped on his face so He could hear Her reading him his rights.
"You have the right to remain slient,so shut the censorfuck up!" Sweet Bertha told him.
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"Every damn Monday Johnny Hollywoods went down to Welfare to pick out a new Mom fer the kids but every Monday afternoon Johnny Hollywoods came back empty handed".Ssid Johnny Hollywoods obease welfare caseworker and sometime helper on the junk truck he liked to drive around in the alleys and pick metals out of the garbage with, during Her obligatory Three hour Lunch Break.
"Why she taught me everything I knowed about Junkin'" Johnny Hollywood bragged about His now favorite Welfare Caseworker in the whole dang State.
and Woman of his dreams.
He only wanted somehow to recieve those big rock and roll monies and settle down and start a family with His welfare caseworker Who already had nine kids now.

Sweet Bertha pulled up behind Johnny Hollywoods junk truck that was blocking the alley and ran his plate number thru her police radio she was looking to hot with her generic bleach blonde ponytail,Johnny Hollywood wanted to run over to Her and clean her badge or something.

As soon as he took a step toward the back of the truck Johnny Hollywoods welfare caseworker said "Whar the fuck is You goin' put this here I beam on the damn Truck Johnny Hollywood." As she carried three I beams her damn self.
Johnny Hollywood did what he was told 'cause He knew if He didn't not only could he get cut off the life of luxury livin' large at the tax players expenses He could also very well lose out on some of the good old Caseworker served up Doggy Style as per usual.

Sweet Bertha got out the damn cah wit her service revolver shining in the artifical light of the alley and her christmas tree light show causing Johnny Hollywood to think it was the fourth of July or something.

Johnny Hollywood got so happy when Sweet Bertha started to frisk him that he pissed his pants,Thus ending the first break of the shift and then it was right back to work driving up and down the alleys looking for more junk because they only had the three hours at lunch time and from four am until Johnny Hollywoods caseworker had to be at the welfare office around nine-sh to get the junk to the scales and get the check.
As soon as Johnny Hollywood got the check in his dirty little hands he dropped His caseworker off for a hard days work kissed her on the cheek and went home to clean up and then he cruise up Wilson Avenue to find the alley Squall of the day becasue He had two hours before He had to pick up his welfare caseworker and get back to work/lunches but those three black cats that crossed his path last night musta took effect and he forgot his pork and beans back at the crib and every knows ,
Johnny Hollywoods especially that He cant get no ass off one of them thar nasty assed Alley squalls straight off the reservation with out no
can of pork and beans or a cigarette or something so

Johnny Hollywood went back home to find he was broken into while he was gone six minutes and all the canned goods was gone forever.
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Lord Fat Back Spliff Badge over

Heres a tip for You Trav finds inspiration for speed metal blues solo chapter one attempt number three Re: Guitar Tip or any part threrof.

When playing a same ol' Hendrix type blues solo right after You have worn out E7sus9 and are thinking about which way to go with it this time after the turn around,I give thought to a nice blonde and the solo hits overdrive in my mind it does more than look good on paper,Just try not to wear the guitars out to soon because they are costly.
Travis Ray Cole {World Reknown Cat Box Poet.}
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Anonymous
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Hi
we are all waiting for Kerri to write a poem
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Anonymous
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Happy Vetrens Day Ginas Seester
Heres You some dick
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The Artist Formasilly known as Shoeshine
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Johnny Hollywood was driving Sweet Berthas air conditioned John Deere tractor up the side walks thru town bouncing off curbs as Sweet Bertha held the door open puking on the wheels."I told You not to drink so much Sweet Bertha,Hurry up You'll get the laws on our trail" Johnny Hollywood told her.
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Johnny Hollywood took a food stamp down to Aldi's and bought Two cans of pork and beans and then headed on over to the "Wooden Nickel" to cash his daily pay check for free providing he spent two dollars so He ordered up a couple of draft beersch and listen to Hank Williams on the juke box as the Heffers straight off the reservation danced and ate pork rinds.
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The Upstairs Maid slithered against Johnny Hollywood often as Johnny Hollywood opened the can of Pork and Beans with the electric can opener.It Truely was Love!
She watched as Johnny Hollywoods plopped the pork and beans onto the scale.

"Whatcha doin' Johnny?" The bitch said making Johnny Hollywood dizzy.

"I'm going to try to beat my record, I am weighing out one third of a can of pork and beans, then I am going to see if I can get laid with it."Johnny Hollywood told his hottest fiancee.
"Let me get this straight Your going to......"The Upstairs maid said as She broke into laughter to the point of almost rolling in the floor.
"Thats when Johnny Hollywood stole Her little diamond,just to have something of Hers.
"Yes thats my goal I shall beat my old record instead of a half can, one third will mean I can get laid three times per can of pork and beans. Now who doesn't want to get laid more"Johnny Hollywood said holding hands with his big fat nasty looking caseworker.

"She just smiled and looked into his eyes and said "I'm glad You never say nothing about me bieng black Johnny Hollywood." right before she puckered up.

"I can't believe Your going to waste them beans on Your caseworker Johnny Hollywood." The upstairs maid bitched.
"I'm not baby,I'm not, these here beans is fer the damn contest.She ain't no contestant,Honeypie shes my damn caseworker." Johnny Hollywood said slapping her ass like she just made touchdown.
All of a sudden the crisis was over Johnny Hollywood had regained control of his bitch and there ain't no god damn lesbians gonna steal this Ho away, not this time He thought as he checked to see if his gun was still on him.

"This bitch is so damn purity I'm gonna kill somebody."Johnny Hollywood said with a shit attitude.
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"Johnny Hollywood done got his energy conservation check and realized since He was now freshly de-vorced He could now own a regular real gibson brand guitar,So Johnny Hollywoods and His little brother Laser "B"
begat to riding buses around town so as Johnny Hollywood could go electrical.
The plan took a slight detour When they got way out Devon and ain't no more Guitar Store there, it done moved and then it took to long so Johnny Hollywood got hungry and His Little Brother got hungry and all of a sudden Johnny Hollywood ain't got the proper funding for this here electrical geetar dream he was having, on such a fine check day too.
So then the guitar seeking brothers rode even more damn buses and on one paticular bus they got on the last person gets off the bus and Johnny Hollywoods said lets sit there in the last seat and they move back,sit down and Johnny Hollywood looks down and sees Sixty-five dollars and that meant only one thing.
It seemed like even God wanted Johnny Hollywoods to have a real guitar,cause before that he was so po he had to play a damn broom, a tennis racket and a baseball bat, He got real good at it though." Sweet Bertha said into the Microphone on the stand right next to where the Judge sat that married Sweet Bertha and Johnny Hollywoods.

Johnny Hollywoods Magic Crackwhore was pissed,If Sweet Bertha wasn't trained