Open Mic Poetry

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something is upon us
but what I am not sure
It came over me as a child
and has followed me ever since
but then I met you
and you healed me of that
I would like to know how you knew
but guess what it is back with vengence
and so your help I need again
It began with dots and now they
are lines taking over my judgement
by blinding me to some degree
I try not to think and yet
they persist until they get their way
Please just say the majic words
tell me it will be okay but you must
redeem, receive and become righteous today
which means you and me laura ingles but only
after you become single. Once you say that
I am sure things for me will be different
because I will abondon the thoughts of lus t
- Sunday, August 24, 2003 at 08:32:38 (PDT)

drama schama
I eat drama and spit out the bones
thats why they call me hollywood
said Johnny Hollywood

Get away from her I seen her 1st said Boxcar Jesus

why dont you go tell your best Bertha stories Boxcar said Johnny Hollywood
- Sunday, August 24, 2003 at 08:23:54 (PDT)


Separated from all
living in isolation
alone for good
noone around
everyone gone
It's just me
one on one
with me
Gabriel visits
all is awakened
a window is revealed
I hear voices then I see the crowd
out of the window I climb into love
never again will I be lonely or afraid
of people and what they have to s ay

- Sunday, August 24, 2003 at 08:18:52 (PDT)

I have drama that is for sure
and you don't need that
so I will not reach out to you
especially when I don't see drama leaving
- Sunday, August 24, 2003 at 07:54:08 (PDT)

I am wicked that is for sure
never should have sown those words
if I was not prepared to act on them too
which I am not for I would be just like Satan
and that is not where I want us to be
so today I will spend it outside by the tree
meditating about you and me
knowing that I can never act
especially since Jesus is back
- Sunday, August 24, 2003 at 07:49:40 (PDT)

the words seared into the air,
like toungues of flame.
more than intrigued, everyone watched
anticipating, fearing, hating, and admiring it's pure beauty.
as this vile entity disturbed our space,
the respect of total silence and full attentention were given.
we all saw the power of it's animosity.
nobody confronted it, nobody moved,
I almost felt obligated, I mean...

it was my dream.
- Sunday, August 24, 2003 at 04:46:34 (PDT)

After Bertha kicked Johnny Hollyoods dogs ass
Box Car Jesus took a funny piece of blotting paper and stuck it to Bertha's under arms and took it to the concert and sold it as Bertha Acid he made sixty bucks in an hour and after the concert he gave half the money to Hollywood who then went and got some whole milk motzerella and ground it to crumbs and snorted lines of it off Mariella's super fine ass

.............. .
- Saturday, August 23, 2003 at 22:53:25 (PDT)

Heres my favorite bertha story

I remember the time me and Bertha went out to pick some black berries for the fucking oatmeal
and we brought the little bastard along
so he would'nt steal the stash
and while we was out Golda the hottest anerexic blonde barbie on the planet knocked on the door
hopefully looking for me
and we was'nt home so she broke and entered
and decieded to scroung down some food first thing
which seems odd for a ninty six pound super model
so she ate a little oats and puked it up
and wanted to watch some cable
and broke the little chair and lost the controller
so she wanted to crash and we found her passed out and then Bertha started accussing me of all kinds of shit
and Golda just laughed that little heart breaker
so Bertha chased her into the woods gonna kick her ass
and Golda meet the big bad wolf
he said where you going
she said grannys and took off when she got there
she noticed the shit was'nt right and took off past the trailer park and went to the three little pigs house picking the brick one in nickles and dimes subdivision which were nice houses but for seven hundred and fifty thousand dollars you would think you would get more yard with it.
some of the little piggies were gone like to the market
or get some beef sandiches at rositis
but someone was there with the light on like a motel commercial too
and the big bad wolf could get past the security system
called a big ass rot wieler.
and then Travis married Jessica and everyone lived happily ever after
The End
- Saturday, August 23, 2003 at 22:38:27 (PDT)

why I remember once when we was kids I ran away from
home to my dads and was up on his roof shooting bb guns at Bertha Maes ass but could'nt hit the got dern thing causin' the damn bb guns was pistols not the rifle that would be needed to come close to her bob seegar strutski motion she did have and to my surprise she done seen me in my sniper mode and said she was gonna kick my ass
we ended up eating two boxes of cereal.
- Saturday, August 23, 2003 at 22:22:02 (PDT)

I remember once I insulted (accidentaly)
Bertha Mae by not capitalizing the b or the m
I think I was speaking of some passing
boy named Jerimiah
(though he has never passed through me)
and anyway I was sentenced to something like
three hours of hollywood squares
or an hour of I love lucy
for my sins

I guess what I am trying to say is that
sometimes people just dont love
the same things as others do
and therefore they dont show it the respect
we expect them too.....
and so we punish them

there was a lesson somewhere in that drunken Garble
- Saturday, August 23, 2003 at 20:22:34 (PDT)

Bertha Mae was hard at work mixing up a batch
of Johnny Hollywoods favorite "Elvis snacks"
the infamous peanut butter and "nana" sandwiches
as Elvis used to call them. Except Bertha knew how to make them the right way.She sometimes would replace the bananna with deseeded buds and sometimes she would just add the buds right along with the original reciepe.

When the Cross threaded lesbian mafia found out about the snacks they again accussed Johnny Hollywood of bieng chauvinistic,he again denied the allegations
stating the he like the last time had not driven anywhere and like the last time around they again beat the living piss out of Johnny Hollywood telling him to stay away from the cupcake the buttercup and honeycakes if he knew what was good for him.

Johnny Hollywood was not afraid
he and the cross threaded lesbian mafia had a long history,in fact he grew up with them on the streets of Lesbianville is the way one bulldyke tells it
they will not kill me he told himself
Are they not the same cross threaded lesbian mafia I knew as a kid? Are they not the same madcap bunch of butches that taught him to stand up and pee?
Surely he could reason with them.
- Saturday, August 23, 2003 at 20:01:08 (PDT)

can you feel when I call your name
can you hear my heart say
this is no game
can you feel when I am gone away
for good?
- Saturday, August 23, 2003 at 17:54:24 (PDT)

you've never tried to put us togethe r
- Saturday, August 23, 2003 at 17:51:50 (PDT)

You've been drinking milk of mesikin milk shakes again
have'nt you Johnny Hollywood said Bertha
I smell it on your breath.
Johnny was busted.
there was noway he could lie out of this one

.. ..
- Saturday, August 23, 2003 at 17:48:49 (PDT)

really what do you want me to do?
I dont know who you are
if your just some dick head friend
playing mind games or real

really what do you want
just more games

I am not ready
for what
more games
what the hell are you talking about
its nowhere
- Saturday, August 23, 2003 at 17:44:52 (PDT)

To prove Gretchen was Satan Johnny Hollywood
had her lay on a stack of bibles
and lathered her with yogart.

"How does this prove anything? My only love Johnny"
Gretchen lied.

"Just wait,you'll see" He assurred her Gretcheness

"It proves he is a pig" Said the high leader of the
cross threaded lesbian mafia
and now hes going to die! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH!

"I just killed him a little while ago
it makes no differance" Gretchen replied.
- Saturday, August 23, 2003 at 12:06:43 (PDT)

Bertha took her John Deere to be detailed
and then warshed by girl scouts
so it would look sharp
when her and Johnny went to the hootnany that night.
- Saturday, August 23, 2003 at 11:55:04 (PDT)

Boxcar Jesus questioned the story line of
"Johnny Hollywood {The Movie}"
"From reading the script here,there seems
to be more than you snorting something off
an anerexic ass,Johnny.Maybe just maybe
you are obsessing a bit? Ya think? You need a doctor"

Johnny did need a doctor
he found out his Momma had been giving away
band secrets to the opposing band enemies
in trade for extra strengh geritol
and went to the old folks home
in the middle of the night
let the nurse who had never been to prison
snort some tynoyl three off his tattoo of Bertha
in turn for her to look the other way
and he unplugged Mammas life support system.

"All this over a Studebaker, Johnny?"
were Mammas last words
It could have been an Edisel
it would'nt make a differance

Johnny figured since he would already be wanted
for murder he would go ahead and Kill Sherry too.
So he opened her skull to get a better
look at the brain that had been fucking with him
all the while then he doused it with five dollars
worth of gasoline and torched the hunk of fat
everyone thought was a brain.
"Who gives a fuck?" Johnny said
as he emailed his favorite cyber slut
to see if she would feed him.

Johnny Hollywood had to play the "Hey Joe" role
and make his get away,maybe Bertha could hide him
until the underground could hook him up
with a job at Mcdonalds making french fries.
- Saturday, August 23, 2003 at 11:51:36 (PDT)

"The lord melted the red and orange crystalized hairs
to the green powder of the buds"
reported the upstairs maid Mariella
as she sounded the alarm

"Why are'nt you in uniform" Johnny Hollywood asked
as he snorted used kitty litter
off the ass of cat woman.
"I hate this shit" he said "It gets all clumped up"

Johnny won forty dollars from the nice shots
he took of him snorting the crystaly hairs
from the great bud off Mariella's ass
and sent to
He used the cash to take her to the Olive Garden
where he snorted parmiesian cheese
off her ass before they were asked to leave.
- Saturday, August 23, 2003 at 11:32:17 (PDT)

Gretchen pushed Johnny Hollywood off the roof
of the fifty-two store high rise SPLAT
he went face first into the street below
"He looks better that way."Said Big Nancy
the bed bouncer/ID checker/weight guesser.
- Saturday, August 23, 2003 at 11:12:47 (PDT)

Boxcar Jesus easily found the many holes in Johnny Hollywoods story.
"How could there have been stripper nuns unless you Johnny Hollywood were a catholic."He Questioned.

Johnny Hollywood had a lot of explaining to do.
He did believe that "God" per se was a blonde somewhere
and he did like to fuck with the Jehovas when they came a visiting and him and Bertha were married on the Fox River and he knew for certian that gretchen was Satan.

"What the hell does it all mean,Johnny?"
asked Inga La Chinga

.. ..
- Saturday, August 23, 2003 at 11:04:00 (PDT)

my car is different
but I still listen
to the radio

Channel by channel
I roam in search
of evidence while
I am not at home

you could be everywhere
or nowhere who knows for
the choice is yours if
you are one the same
frequency while I drive
my car to the outer limits

How will I know I will for
how does anyone know when
a wish they made has come
true and so I will know not
by what I say here but by
what you say in the car
- Saturday, August 23, 2003 at 06:54:13 (PDT)

how about that

you insist you are bad company
when in fact i know you are not
one day I just took 6 away from
ten and that's how I met my best
friend for you see I am a star
shining so bright that you know
I am right when I say that you
are a straight shooter which
everyone adores. So can I come
over and spend time with you
and only you for now without
all the other company you keep
including the sheep I saw last
night under my very own light
- Saturday, August 23, 2003 at 06:44:59 (PDT)

the web of life is a matrix
full of coordinates and mine
was cell number 7:22:11:11:4:7
but not no more once I opened
the door to explore what the
other strands offer my board

Although I was scared that my
travels would only be a game
that didn't matter after I met
you my little insane friend

I was hoping the sky would
shine yellow but instead
vanilla is what hung over
my little confused head

Sometimes I think I know you
and other times I wish I did
Weirder things have happened
so someday maybe I will know
but until then you and I go

Minds are beautiful so watch
it later before it gets to dark
and people are calling you don
there is so much evidence but
you could just be cheating
by playing around with my words
could love be that obsurd?
- Saturday, August 23, 2003 at 06:31:17 (PDT)

isnt that the 64,000.00 dollar question
but what should I do give it honesty or
a casual view when I answer you? I know
I will just show you what I would do even
though I am not feeling blue about what
all that is true.

a=aweful, b=oard, c=cranky, d=rowsy, e=lectrified, f=rightned, g=reat, h=orrible, i=n deep, j=ealous, k=razy, l=ousy, m=arvolous, n=ot so good, o=vertired, p=uky, q=uome ce qum saw, r=otton, s=o so, t=errific, u=tterly awesome,, v=aguely okay, w=ickedly bad, x=tremely good, y=ucky, z=o zo
- Saturday, August 23, 2003 at 06:14:16 (PDT)

Johnny Hollywood offered to perform Gretchens
next abortion with his toungue
She was not as into it as Johnny
"he was'nt serious" said Nancy the bed bouncer
looking a little cross trheaded in her mans suit
When the law got there Johnny appoligized many times
and then took Gretchen out for ice creame
- Saturday, August 23, 2003 at 06:04:57 (PDT)

went to sleep
what did I find
beg bugs and
wheat crop circles
in the cement for
bed bugs to guard
- Saturday, August 23, 2003 at 06:01:11 (PDT)

How ya doin?
.. .. ..
- Saturday, August 23, 2003 at 05:57:15 (PDT)

Bertha found out Johnny Hollywood was drinking the milk of mesikin again and burnt his favorite corvette
during the night.Johnny woke up when the gas tank exploded and snuk Gretchen out the upstairs window before Bertha could find her and went downstairs to find the wonderful breakfast of "Gravy and Bisquits" Bertha had made."Wheres that little bitch?"Bertha asked as she loaded her thirty eight.
"These are good,Honey dumplin's" Johnny tried to kiss Berthas ass.
"Did'nt I already divorce you?" Johnny asked.
He tried to call his attorney but she was playing tennis.
- Saturday, August 23, 2003 at 05:56:27 (PDT)

looking for myself,
searching deep inside of me,
deeper than I dare show anyone,
deeper than I can admit to...
past the "hey, how's it goin?"
and underneath the bitter tones that sneak out,
I'm really puny and scared...
And I want someone to hold me
so close and so tight so I know
everything will be...
just fine.
but, you've seen it this whole time.
you're not my friend
you can't help me
so leave me alone
- Saturday, August 23, 2003 at 00:42:30 (PDT)

Boxcar Jesus and Gretchen made a statement to the press that Johnny Hollywood was in love with a crazy girl who had so many different personalities that he never had to cheat on her because going out with the nut was like going out with forty different woman at once,thats how he was so in with the church not the large donations and corvettes he was chili-cruising the hottest nuns around in.

"Boxcar Jesus is a jealose fuck" replied Johnny Hollywood.

The rest of the day was wasted as Johnny spent everything he had at the fair trying to win a teddy bear for Gretchen.

"Do you know why they call them teddy bears" asked Box car Jesus as he shot up some donut resin

"Fuck off" said Johnny whoredog Hollywood as he sharpened the knife.

He was hiding his heart for Gretchen to find later.
then he snorted some stuffing off the teddy bears ass
and got drunk enough to think about Gretchen when he was with Bertha and think about bertha when he was with Gretchen and think about Wendy when he was with Jennifer.

Johnny peed his and Gretchens name onto the sidewalk in front of the burgerking next to the grocery store

"He really dont care about anything" said Nancy the bed bouncer Johnny hired to check ID's and guess weights at the end of his bed.She was doing a lot better now that she got used to the job.
She was wearing a mans suit and that scared Johnny
mostly because of the time Johnny Hollywood led the cult into the bottomless pit of hell and the leader of the cross threaded lesbian mafia crouched above it and
urinated into the pit of hell.

"Repent" cried Boxcar Jesus
- Friday, August 22, 2003 at 23:18:21 (PDT)

Johnny Hollywood found his soulmate
a pregenant mesikin who made him the energy milkshakes
he needed to drink when he was hung over and sick
that was the only time he would have the psychic premanitions where he could see stuff somewhere else or in another time.
"What do you love?" Johnny Hollywood thought.

He loved his guitar and when he dug out the holes in its body to put the skulls and crooses jewerly the very lovely latino gave him he only needed to bleed into the wood grain for the color to match the red paint on the guitar.

He took his hair and Jessica's beautiful hair and wrapped them together around the silver and black onyx cross that the devil gave him as she passed thru the crossroads. then he bled onto it and thru it into the fire,somehow he thought this would bring her to him or him to her but it never worked with the cornflake girl so maybe its all a waste of time Johnny thought.

Johnny flew to the islands with his little oriental girl friend for the weekend and when he came back Bertha had put all of his clothes and Barry Manilow CD'S out on the curb.

You dumb bitch those are'nt really Barry Manilow cds
I hide my good mariwauna seeds in them in case the DEA bust in here

God drove by in a white car
Johnny thought that she belonged in a white car because it went well with her blonde hair.

Johnny went down to the welfare office to find a good home for his gerbil
while he was there he remembered he was running low on funds and applied for a federal grant to continue filming the filming of the adventures or what ever the fuck he called it he forgot the name now.
You can get the link card his case worker told him.
Two weeks later Johnny Hollywood was back in the welfare office snorting lines of the chopped plastic link card that was issued to him right off his case workers humoungous ass
or asses as it were.
- Friday, August 22, 2003 at 22:54:25 (PDT)

one last time before the personal sparks flew
between Who oh me and you lets go jets go
- Friday, August 22, 2003 at 21:28:53 (PDT)

u2 eh
- Friday, August 22, 2003 at 21:25:29 (PDT)

no need to explain
but interestingly enuff
that;s the second friday
in a row that I have been snuffed

Home is where the heart is and since
my heart has always been with you
I guess my home is with you
even if it means going to 3 different
stores looking for a milkshake for you
- Friday, August 22, 2003 at 21:21:41 (PDT)

Waitin Around

oh how I have wanted you
for such a long time
you cannot even begin
to imagine what I have
not done with and to you
but know that I need to
if it is the last thing
I do

I wish to profess my love
for you to those who will
listen to what cannot be
imagined but it should

- Friday, August 22, 2003 at 21:17:06 (PDT)

thats nice see ya later gotta go do my art
- Friday, August 22, 2003 at 21:14:55 (PDT)

I want to open your door
but what if i am not ready
for what you have in store?
- Friday, August 22, 2003 at 21:11:42 (PDT)

where is your heart?
mine is at the crossroads
because you want this to be as close as we get
where is your heart?
mine is at the crossroads
because you want this to be as close as we get
where is your heart?
mine is at the crossroads

where is your heart?
mine is at the crossroads
because you want this to be as close as we get
where is your heart?
mine is at the crossroads
because you want this to be as close as we get
where is your heart?
mine is at the crossroads
- Friday, August 22, 2003 at 21:10:50 (PDT)

my heart is lonely without you
- Friday, August 22, 2003 at 21:08:06 (PDT)


soon sensations
will be activated
alone in the dark
I take you to explore
and as I am sure I
won't be awake at 107
its better if I just
tune in now and do it
- Friday, August 22, 2003 at 21:03:10 (PDT)

because you want this to be as close as we get
- Friday, August 22, 2003 at 21:01:09 (PDT)

where is your heart?
mine is at the crossroads
- Friday, August 22, 2003 at 20:57:24 (PDT)

Johnny Hollywoods brain doctor was in a rage
she said last week he was in love with thirty nine women at the same time and now this new blonde he kept
wrecking his mind with was....

a. blocking out all the other thought
b. number forty
c. both a and b
d. none of the above
e. all of the above

Johnnys shrink asked him to choose one like he was taking a very important test.

"What if I get it wrong" he asked after he snorted another line of prozak off her ass while she shouted "Mommy I love you" over and over

"This bitch is really nuts" Johnny Thought.

Turns out Johnnys doctor really was looney tunes
stalking him all the time when he went into town with Bertha to get feed calling the grocery store and having him paged when he went to get a twelve pack
and then hiding in her sisters camaro when they went out to the drive in movie was the one that broke the chiawahwahs back.
- Friday, August 22, 2003 at 20:55:41 (PDT)

the matt would just be used for yoga
unless you thought otherwise
- Friday, August 22, 2003 at 20:50:26 (PDT)

i wait by the window
hoping you will show
but somethin tells me
you won't cause youre
scared of us and of me
with no reason to be
you just are until
a move is made on your
part to come into my heart

- Friday, August 22, 2003 at 20:47:15 (PDT)

Can I bring my matt?
- Friday, August 22, 2003 at 20:38:38 (PDT)

I know I can't live with out you after forever has past
we have been meant for each other open up your eyes and see
it should be you and me always only
you know that
- Friday, August 22, 2003 at 20:34:50 (PDT)

we must meet in person
bring your hoop D
- Friday, August 22, 2003 at 20:30:55 (PDT)

Johnny Hollywood waited until the night to make love to Gretchen on the electronic ouija board under the black candle light to see if the devils advice would make a differance, If there was a differance Johnny did'nt notice because he was so stoned,It could have been her sister or mother for that matter he noticed no differance and thought at that point the devil was a dumbass,so back to the crossroads Johnny went.

"Where are you going Johnny Hollywood?" asked Bertha with a bushel of corn she grew for the cattle in her hands.

"I'm going down to shoot my ol' lady,I caught her messing round with another man" said Johnny Hollywood right outta a Hendrix song

"What Mother Fucker" said the evil Bertha Mae sounding like they stopped making tampons for good.

"I said "Honey Cakes I'm going to the old folks home to see my Mama and try to get her to sign over the title to the nineteen fifty nine Studabeker hawk that used to be Frank Zappa's before the old bat croaks"

"Your a rotton bastard" said Box Car Jesus
as he snorted kitty litter of cat womans ass
- Friday, August 22, 2003 at 20:28:06 (PDT)

crop circle messages

The more I think of you
the worse it becomes
I begin to feel naughty
and sense you are the same
but I have lost you again
until I or you pick up
the vibration we together
were just on
there is no time to think
for time is our only enemy
when it comes to the end
but before it does we must
meet once more either in
spirit or person whichever
helps our passionate soul
if it is to be in person
I am more charged then
energy itself so please
look out but if it should
take place in spirit dream
then how will each of us
know when to begin with
the sound that will guide
us into our profound exctasy
All I know is that I will
always be playing those
beautiful sounds and so
if you should ever feel
a need to be loved and
I mean truely loved then
just let me know and I
will freshen up your
place inside my heart
for when you decide
to visit me someday

- Friday, August 22, 2003 at 20:13:40 (PDT)

the sexual energy
at its peak
plunge it out
by groping inside
around and around
til it makes me shout
to the very last drop
you feel it too didn't
you just then with me
- Friday, August 22, 2003 at 19:56:08 (PDT)

You talking to me?

.. .. .. .. .. .. .. ..
- Friday, August 22, 2003 at 17:58:46 (PDT)

I will pray for courage
to rain over me to reign
over me while I try to
find you
It will soon be dark
enough to see the light
and during this time
I will think of you
wishing once again
that someday you
will be mine

Push and pull
I do not wish
that for you
but that you
will come soon
to your senses
if they are meant
to be sensed by me
then please hear the plea

- Friday, August 22, 2003 at 17:20:50 (PDT)

I want to know more
but I am afraid to
for then I could
never turn back
because if what
I learn is true
then I couldn't
deny my newfound
knowledge unless
I want to continue
to be ignorant of
the truth by holding
onto something that
is nothing but a fake
- Friday, August 22, 2003 at 17:08:57 (PDT)

I hear the Horn

I am barely hanging on
so one false move and I
am gone because the nails
that hold me from death
are slowly weakening
from the rust and
are soon to break off.

When that time comes
I want you all to know
that I can no longer
deny the signs I lived
with a long time ago.

I knew when you were
worried and I felt you
when you were sad while
I could hear you when
you were glad.

I choose not to listen
for then I would have
to accept that the
common man would judge
me for listening to nothing
and accuse me of pure insanity.

You see it is unheard of for the
common one to hear what I hear
and that is simply because their
ears are always turned down or off.

Don't worry though for I knew you
even when you left this world but
remember you managed to come back
around and the only thing that's
different is that now you
communicate by sound.

- Friday, August 22, 2003 at 16:59:47 (PDT)

well if I remember it correctly
I had had too much to drink
and then I was alone with you
and for awhile the starswars
kept me warm until the cold
set in from my own insecurities
about the numbers six and nine
which then right before my eyes
it came to you like a surprise
that I could have said what I did
and not expect to be punched in the head

- Friday, August 22, 2003 at 16:42:59 (PDT)

Johnny made love to Gretchen on the o=uija board
in the mid day sun before Bertha came back
from the fields
"Your doing it wrong Johnny" said the devil
"It is supposed to be Night time"
- Friday, August 22, 2003 at 14:50:09 (PDT)

Johnny made love to Gretchen on the o=uija board
in the mid day sun before Bertha came back
from the fields
"Your doing it wrong Johnny" said the devil
"It is supposed to be Night time"
- Friday, August 22, 2003 at 14:50:07 (PDT)

Johnny made love to Gretchen on the o=uija board
in the mid day sun before Bertha came back
from the fields
"Your doing it wrong Johnny" said the devil
"It is supposed to be Night time"
- Friday, August 22, 2003 at 14:50:06 (PDT)

Gretchen smashed a grapefruit into Johnny Hollywoods face and laughed.

She obviously found out about Johnnys illness
he was obsesed with bleach blondes and blondes
he would cheat on Gretchen in a minute if any Barbie looking bitch or bleach blonde black nun with "white pride" tattooed on or about her snatchasorous glanced in Hollyoods direction no matter how true she was to him even if she vowed to lay down and die for him
it did not matter and her bieng the worlds most beautiful red head did not matter in Johnnys mind
she talked to the opposing bands and could be a spy,
all his love was in vain.

Johnny had secret meetings with his new Psychritirast
in the bomb shelter bathroom he had built especally to listen to county music so no one would know,some people even say there was a fender telecaster hanging on the wall above the toilet.

"Vhat Johnny needs is a twelve step program
to rid his thoughts of the blondes" said Johnnys doctor
"You mean no more Olivia? Hell No!" Johnny replied to the crazy whack shrink bitch.

"I will give you referal" said his soon to be X doctor

Johnny Hollywood agreed to a nice AA meeting with lotsa "German Girls" he could mingle and party afterwards.
He just now noticed the doctor was only wearing an oxegen tank and fuzzy house slippers.
"When you going to do my laundry,butch bitch?"
Johnny asked the doctor
"It'll be eight hundred dollars" she sang.

Johnny went home and asked Gretchen to do her magic snake venom extraction method on his bites

"But you said it was'nt approved by Osha" Said Gretchen sarcasticly as she curtsied bowed and offered Johnny more swiss miss cocca.

He imagined Gretchen in a nice OSHA tee shirt and him snorting asbestoes off of her beautiful buttocks as she yodeled the star spangled banner.

"Could you take off the Catholic school girl shit Gretchen? Johnny asked sweetly as she massaged his fretting hand.
"No Johnny your not spanking me with the violin bow again today" she said

Johnny Hollywood found a nice libarian to tell his lies to
after his doctor found him yet again on rt.41 pouring perioxide on road kill
his gypsy broke her contract
because her stunt double smashed the crystal ball

"Yeah, Everyone sayes something as they pull the trigger,Johnny" Its perfectly normal explained Johnnys doctor again as he snorted lithium off her ass.

Johnny tried to get some rest
but the bullet in his brain was making it difficult
So he called the maid service agian and asked them to come get "Olga" who moved in three weeks ago
when she was only supposed to clean the place in three hours
- Friday, August 22, 2003 at 14:41:26 (PDT)

not many
would ten years be
of intrest
to my heart
but maybe
My Jilla
My Jilla baby
- Friday, August 22, 2003 at 14:02:42 (PDT)

C'mon what se ye?
- Friday, August 22, 2003 at 09:47:15 (PDT)

d=eepak chopra
e=ffort in all
f=ree dom
o=uija board
r=avi shankar
w=ind chims
y= oga
- Friday, August 22, 2003 at 09:44:41 (PDT)

may I tongue you with my words
while caressing you in my arms
I say quitely I love you with
verbs and make mention of herbs
- Friday, August 22, 2003 at 09:31:49 (PDT)

noone probably has the time to
watch me lie on a bed of nails
while I cry myself to sleep?

Soon the time will come for me and
I will have to make up my mind to
get out of this bed full of rust
from all the tears I have spilled
over the past ten years

- Friday, August 22, 2003 at 09:25:21 (PDT)

7 043

since I was able to understand luck
because I am the sign in that position
because the one truth always references it
how sweet it is bent like that
if only the four had a cane..for it it did
the space between them could be removed and
exposed for its backwardness would be love
- Friday, August 22, 2003 at 09:18:22 (PDT)

I can hear the wind
calling little ol' mary
she must have doubts
because the wind won't
give up in fact it's
being very persistent
and it's kinda scary
knowing the wind carries
power from this line to that
whispering my name with yours

- Friday, August 22, 2003 at 09:10:32 (PDT)

Johnny Hollywood woke up starving to death
and wanted a new diet of Filipino
breakfast lunch and dinner
- Friday, August 22, 2003 at 09:04:11 (PDT)

I have set something in motion
inside the world wide web of life
through a simple guided prayer
that spoke words of you in order
to see if you still care. The
answer was obvious after the call
and it was then that i knew
you to be true but I am not ready
- Friday, August 22, 2003 at 09:03:27 (PDT)

As long as your names not Sherry you have a chance

- Friday, August 22, 2003 at 08:58:25 (PDT)


how many times must I remorse
before I am free to love you
I did't mean to disturb you
but the time is here again
for me to decide which life
is to be mine from here on end
the problem is that I cannot
because when I do it will
mark the day of permanence
and I won't be able to turn back
I am so afraid of losing you
that I would rather just forget
and leave it as is for now that is
until such a time where I can make
up my mind about you
but by then no doubt it will probably
be too late
but for now I must do what I feel is
right and I am not ready to give what
is needed to make us tight
so for now you will just have to trust
me in what I've said before about the
stars during the night shooting their
way through the evening sky and me there
to catch them first in glimpse and then
by hand so that I could wish to them that
someday make so I am holding you tight
- Thursday, August 21, 2003 at 22:07:35 (PDT)

"Do you have any fucking ideal
how many crossroads Johnny Hollywood had to pass thru today before a sweet little blonde blew him a kiss?" Asked satan the freckled ass rag doll red head

- Thursday, August 21, 2003 at 21:08:45 (PDT)

Immigration kicked in the door at Johnnys party and
deported him and the donut crew
and it took Johnny two days
to get back to town
slowing down production even more.

Bertha watered the crops while he was away
and put a DVD player in the tractor on Johnnys Card.

"Ya all wanna go out line dancin'?"
Johnny asked The sweet goddess Bertha shyly.

"You can go fuck yourself you piece of shit"
Bertha said in anger

Johnny knew then that there would be no
line dancing or lap dancing
with the disgruntled super model.
- Wednesday, August 20, 2003 at 21:38:18 (PDT)

"Johnny Hollywood thought he was a real funny son of a bitch the night he got drunk and decieded to film the crashing of the Cross Threaded Lesbian Mafia Union Meeting Annivarsy Bash."
Said The Bleach Blonde Black Nun as he was snorting Cocaine off her exceptionaly nice buttocks.

"How'd you get such a nice ass,baby?" asked Miss Slutfuck.
"Carring Bibles" The sister replied
- Wednesday, August 20, 2003 at 21:23:37 (PDT)

"That Bertha's one hot tamale" said Boxcar Jesus
as Johnny Hollywood stuck a six inch barrel three fifty seven magnum to Boxcar Jesus' left ear and a nice nine inch barrel three fifty seven magnum to his right ear then said "You ever disrespect Bertha again you shitpile and I'll spread that maggotty brain of yours across the room"
- Wednesday, August 20, 2003 at 21:12:22 (PDT)

I've got so much to give
and I'm alone tonight
please want me
I'm too ripe to be rotten
- Wednesday, August 20, 2003 at 17:30:34 (PDT)

- Wednesday, August 20, 2003 at 15:11:11 (PDT)

Johnny sucidal Hollywood woke up and stuck the gun to his brain and said adios
... ...
- Wednesday, August 20, 2003 at 15:08:24 (PDT)

I wanna fluff you like an animal
- Wednesday, August 20, 2003 at 13:34:04 (PDT)

Not knowing Honeycups was already pregnant Johnny Hollywood and Honeycups
decided not to have children.

- Wednesday, August 20, 2003 at 13:33:09 (PDT)

The filming of "Johnny Hollywood the movie"
was actully two movies at once they spent more time filming "The making of Johnny Hollywood the movie" than they did "Johnny Hollywood the movie"

"This is a major motion picture" Johnny explained to the s isters
- Wednesday, August 20, 2003 at 09:36:56 (PDT)

Johnny Hollywood rode in the limo to pick Bertha Mae up from the airport when she returned from her vacatcion and they were happy to see each other until she realized Johnny Hollywood was only making the film to impress Britney Spears in hopes that she would hire him as her lead guitarist
"But you play punk,shithead,not disco" Bertha abused Johnny with word s.
- Wednesday, August 20, 2003 at 09:33:14 (PDT)

they judge me
without knowing
these "friends" of mine
I've had for years
but I know something
something that they never will
I will get beyond them
I will be more than they are
I already am
of course, maybe they
already know that
I guess I wouldn't like me either
- Wednesday, August 20, 2003 at 08:27:33 (PDT)

Johnny Hollywood figured out by the look in honeycups eyes that she liked kids so he went to the projects
and traded two crack rocks for three nigger babies and brought them over for honeycups to see his new "kids"

She was not impressed
"Johnny Hollywoods you take those crack babies back to the projects where you got them! You know you can't keep them,Its one thing buying people to squeeze the donuts but this is bogus as hell" Yelled Miss Honeycups.

So her and Johnny took the little niggers back to the project theys be from and then the bitch made Johnny
give the nice welfare reciepants an extra rock for their troubles.
- Tuesday, August 19, 2003 at 21:06:32 (PDT)

Boxcar Jesus took the icing that had been scraped off the crispy cream donuts and chopped it finely
then he cut it with water and put it into the oven.

"Hank Willams ain't done it this way" Said Sodbuster

Box car Jesus then took the solid mess out of the oven and it was chopped again and added more water and he cooked it in a spoon and then hit sucked the liquid donut frosting up into the hypodermic needle
and shot it up inbetween his little piggies that went places and he went into a coma where he himself was a donut for a day until the drooling stopped.
- Tuesday, August 19, 2003 at 20:52:57 (PDT)

Johnny Hollywood praticed "the itsie bitsie spider solos for three days when he took the "I loves Bertha Med ecine"
- Tuesday, August 19, 2003 at 02:20:38 (PDT)

Johnny "garbage day" Hollywood ordered a dumpster to be delievered to the set and had the donut cleaning crew fill the dumpster with the favorite boston cream donuts then he choragraphed the whore cops as they jumped out of the dumpster full of donuts.
while live hogs ran around the dumpster clockwise
/ ... . .. ...... .. ...
- Monday, August 18, 2003 at 21:22:23 (PDT)

At two thirty in the morning Johnny Hollywood and his beautiful latino babe tried out the hoods of twenty two different cars,trucks and suvs at the Chevy dealer that night.Johnny wanted to make sure he had the right one for the love scene he told his mesikin fiancee
so that none of the actors could sue me he explained in broken spanish.
...... ..
- Monday, August 18, 2003 at 21:14:59 (PDT)

Johnny Hollywood stumbled into the hallmark to flirt with the bleach blonde there and make a special card for Gretchen stating his undying love even though he knew she was failing badly at mindfucking him.

He needed to reserve a red headed girl friend for christmas and valentines day coming up.

- Monday, August 18, 2003 at 21:09:39 (PDT)

Johnny loser Hollywood woke up laying on the ground looking at the sun from under the huddle the cross treaded lesbian mafia was having on the two yard line
it was ladies night and Johnny did'nt want to be the ball anymore,wait a minute these ladies are'nt wearing shoulder pads thought Johnny
- Monday, August 18, 2003 at 21:04:54 (PDT)

Johnny Hollywood painted "Johnny Loves Gretchen"
in eight foot letters on the towns water tower
and on every over pass,bridge or fence he knew Gretchen
would pass by in her travels.
While writting the song "Gretchens Garden" he realized Gretchen was truely the devil when after he remembered the announcements at the concert said to stay away from the "Bertha Acid" but he took some anyway and shot himself in the head and went to hell,but on the way to hell he stopped at the crossroads and seen the devil girl {you gretch}
and she cast him into the fires of hell
Johnny Hollywood told the crowd at the gates of hell he understood why you would treat him like this but would kiss the ass of gretch any day of the week
whether he was in hell or not.
- Monday, August 18, 2003 at 20:33:06 (PDT)

The morning sunrise was beautiful in color
as Johnny Hollywood bought a nasty crack whore holding a sign from the road crew who don't really do a damn thing ever,except get paid and spread disaeses.

She was only four dollars he reasoned with his lovely new accountant not to be confused with the countess.
"You can lead a whore to water,but you can't make her use soap" She said as she sold the remainder of the bacon bits to the road crew prostitute to smoke for the hoilday.

Johnny Hollywood put her to work with the four midgets from Argentina squeezing the life out of the boston cream donuts He was a pillar of his community and an equal oppurntuinity employer.
- Monday, August 18, 2003 at 20:20:23 (PDT)

fluff me
- Monday, August 18, 2003 at 19:21:08 (PDT)

like you
- Monday, August 18, 2003 at 08:50:46 (PDT)

Johnny stole flowers off a grave on his way over to Gretchens cell
When he got there she looked so stunning that he had never seen any one look this hot
she bowed and curtsied then offered Johnny some hot choclate before she began yodeling
much to Johnny Hollywoods delight

he imagined making love to her on a case of Swiss miss

"Gretchen baby"

Johnny Hollywood begged "Would you be my honey cakes?"
- Monday, August 18, 2003 at 08:46:38 (PDT)

Johnny had one midget from Argentina scrape the white powder off the sugar donuts and after the creame of the boston creme donuts dried to the gorgous lady peace officers skin Johnny Hollywood found a place on her beautiful left thiegh and spilled out the white powder from the donut and snorted it up.

- Monday, August 18, 2003 at 08:38:04 (PDT)

Johnny hired Gretchen as his live in maid since she wouldnt run off and alope with him
and gave her all of berthas maid uniforms
the honey bee,the nurse,the frech maid
but the bunny tail was missing along with the ears
She was so delighted that she put the gun to Johnnys temple and squeezed the trigger for Johnny like a kiss.

Johnny always did say he loved her
when he started talking about Jim Morrison and Lenny Bruce,he knew she was really supposed to be his
he just hadnt convinced her yet.

Thats when Johnny put the barrel of the hand gun to his brain and said "fuck it"

its coming outta berthas last check said Johnny as he remembered he gave that shit along with the halo to helen huntski at the awards cermony one of the times Bertha left Johnny for the plowman of her dreams.

"Johnny Hollywood was sick in the head from the cat box" said the bartender as she pocketed everyones drinking money and got to close the bar early because everyone was broke at eight pm.

Johnny said he was only inebreated before he went on to explain how he would look at the school teacher he was in love with with the left eye so the sweetest
vision ever to be seen would register into the right side of his brain then the other side.
- Sunday, August 17, 2003 at 22:10:24 (PDT)

Johnny Hollywood woke up in a super strech hummer limo
with thirteen very obease blonde women surrounding him
they kept asking him where the lesbian whore cops hide out was

When Johnny got free of them he put on his black cowboy hat and went straight over the the very cute code name officer bleach blonde's house where he did notice she had her hair up in a nice cop bun type of a doo
so that he would not get the boston cream donuts inards on her locks

so Johnny slapped the cream on her sweet copness with a trowl until the five gallon bucket was empty
then he finely chopped two small jars of bacon bits and sprinkled them across the cream of the donuts
then he licked sixty nine little star shapes into the cream and told her those were her badges,
then he broke the good news to her that he did indeed recently purchase two more {totaling four} midgets from Argentina to hand squeeze the boston cream donuts
each morning rain or shine.
"Now thats love" said Berthas mother from underneath the bed

"Whats she doing here?" said said Berthas private investagator as he watched the twister from the living room.
- Sunday, August 17, 2003 at 21:52:54 (PDT)

No amount of waiting could have fixed this this time
for the same question would have been there even after the four hundred and sixteenth time of opening this door connected to you and my heart.

It is you that I love and want forever and a day
but there is something that does stand in our way
and we can never have what is ours if deception leads the way because we know it never really does pay
so let us just make up our minds and begin to define
the love we have for each other which is still in the untouched zone.
- Sunday, August 17, 2003 at 14:15:47 (PDT)

when I am with you even the time doesn't know how to behave so it quits until you and I are finished shooting at stars in the universe of my wom b
- Sunday, August 17, 2003 at 13:55:38 (PDT)

you have always held a special place in my heart
whether you know and/or like it or not
I have lumped you into the daily life of mine
without ever considering how this would affect you
and during the times when we were apart, I would
call upon my recalls of the past with you and surmize
right to the conclusion of our hearts being attached
- Sunday, August 17, 2003 at 13:52:45 (PDT)

how many times must we be shown
before the crop circles will
either stop or begin to work
like their hidden messages say
they are suppose to be teaching
those of us who are paying attention
the lessons of future life on the wheat
chalk board
- Sunday, August 17, 2003 at 13:45:04 (PDT)

earth's floor

oh I cannot wait for gabage day
even though I do not want garbage day
I still would like it to come
so that I can pile outside the memories
I do not need anymore and I now believe
they belong in the dump where they can be
mulched into the
- Sunday, August 17, 2003 at 13:42:40 (PDT)

I wish it weren't true
but yet here I am
still waiting for you
even after they pulled
you out of the hoover dam
I've been culled by a dream
even though reality
is what it seems
oh the formalities of closure
even have to destroy the exposure
- Sunday, August 17, 2003 at 13:35:02 (PDT)

again the robin appeared
to mean that spring is near
because there is a deer
lurking on all four hoves
in the foresty backwoods
Sorry michael cretes, but
really what is the meaning
of this crazy game we play?
you call it weird and I called
it crazy yet to me it is also odd
and if I let go of the vibrations
then I drop me and all that I know
would be gone forever I should just let em go
sorry don didn't mean to ruffle the feathers
of your hen but really she don't look like a lee

- Sunday, August 17, 2003 at 13:19:30 (PDT)

R is always for Robbin
- Sunday, August 17, 2003 at 10:29:33 (PDT)

B=ooks and eading and oating
C=amping and rafts and ooking
D=ancing and olphins
E=gypt and cology and nigma
F=amily and riends
G=od and ardening and rand canyon
H=iking and ome and orizons
I=nternet and bm's
J=ogging and maybe azz
K=issing and itchens
L=ovemaking and learning
M=aking love and usic and ovies
N=eedlepoint and ebulas
O=cean and utings and ccult
P=lants and lanets and passion and eter gabriel
Q=uantum and uietness
R=etreats and ebels
S=tars and inging and owing and un ets
T=raveling and rivia
U=fos & riah heep & ltimate seven wonders of the world
V=ertical horizons and alleys
W=riting and alking
X=rated and etasy
Y=ou and ou and ou and ou and ou and ou and ou and ou Z=en
- Sunday, August 17, 2003 at 07:30:45 (PDT)

Ssomeday i will turn the page
to the very end say goodbye
to a fantasy that had no business
becoming a reality for all to see

I could never figure you for real
but in my dreams you made me and us
a big deal and for that I wannnnnnt
you but after the yes(1) I(4) had(5) tur(2) day(3)
I am left to only feel like a fool on a saturday
but don't get me wrong for I do understand why it
would be and why you are not meant to get with me
I've always not tried but inn the end they were just nice

I must for all who are involved bring this fantasy
to end in its final resting place where tears of true sadness will set in as honesty will replace my legacy of disgrace for my lack of respect for your space
- Sunday, August 17, 2003 at 06:48:22 (PDT)

The cross threaded lesbian mafia were on the 10 yard line with a first down.
Johnny was losin bad
- Saturday, August 16, 2003 at 23:19:43 (PDT)

"you guys dont wanna kill me" Johnny Hollywood laughed in thier faces.
"You need me now more than ever,if your planning on not getting caught"

So Bertha and Sodbuster went along with Johnnys plan
where Johnny Hollywood took the happy couple down to the day labor slave dealer right in town there and traded Sodbuster and Bertha in for two midgets from Argentina and then had them squeeze three dozen boston creme donuts to a pulp each morning for the creaming of code name officer bleach blonde.

"Would you be in our video" Johnny asked her copness
- Saturday, August 16, 2003 at 23:15:37 (PDT)

Johnny woke up and the gold plated diamond tipped spurs were gone.

"We thought you was in a coma" said Sodbuster

"Your dead,I killed you" Johnny said

"No we just used you to scam the insurance company,Johnny,And now your accident will be real."
Said the evil Bertha

"But I loves you Bertha" cried Johnny
- Saturday, August 16, 2003 at 22:48:17 (PDT)

Johnny Hollywood wanted to crash hard
Bertha said "Just go to fuckin' sleep,Johnny"
He was afraid to crash now because he thought the
whores would steal his gold plated spurs of his new boots
- Thursday, August 14, 2003 at 21:36:06 (PDT)

Johnny Hollywood noticed Bertha was angry
when she pulled up on the tractor with an "Earl is in the trunk" bumper sticker on the back of the tractor.
Johnny could'nt understand.He knew the tractor did not have a trunk but who was earl? Was Bertha cheating on him?He started drinking heavily and after he was smashed he tried to call a girl two states away,
then he staggered into the dunky donuts and bought two dozen boston creme donuts.
He weaved in and out of traffic{on foot}
until a nice bleach blonde lady police officer
took the suspect into custody
"Is you a movie star?" he asked the beautiful peace officer.

When they got to Johnnys no one was around so he invited her in for a donut.
As soon as the camaras were rolling Johnny smeared the boston creme donuts all over the white skinned pig
until she was covered from head to toe.He did get it in her hair,but it looked good that way.
Johnny tried to snort the donut creme off the hot cops perfectly curved buttocks,but it dried to her and was sticking like glue.The donut creme was not dried enough to turn to a powder,just enough to become a lubercant between Johnnys body and hers.
She asked Johnny to stop three times during the filming of this scene,"Ask me my badge number Johnny" she said that it would really do it for her
then "Oh Johnny,will you wear the black hat?" and then the classic "Dial nine one one that always makes me come"

"Shut the fuck up bitch! Were rollin'" Johnny kissed into her pigs ear.

They were rollin' alright.Berthas private investagator was filming the scene from outside the window as well.
- Thursday, August 14, 2003 at 04:21:34 (PDT)

Johnny Hollywood jacks off to the blues, part two
Johnny filled the flowerpots full of rage and condensed milk popsicles
he was always mad because Bertha's Englush was always beter'n hiz
a knocked-up crack pipe addy and a six pack of confectioner's sugar
it was not well worth it this time around
he forgets to take his meds now and then
It's a Fucking Fan-fic, by Jove!
- Wednesday, August 13, 2003 at 19:48:14 (PDT)

Johnny Hollywood sent everyone home for the day turned off the camaras and got down on his knees to pop the big question "Gretchen,Would you be my Doctor"
he asked.

"I don't have time to cure you Johnny" said Gretchen
as she stood on Johnnys balls with some nice heels
"And I did'nt say that either"

Johnny thought it would be nice if she would give him back his heart or if she was going to keep it
maybe she could keep it with hers.
Johnny Hollywood climbed up on the burning cross.
- Wednesday, August 13, 2003 at 07:08:09 (PDT)

Johnny Hollywood looked deep into Gretchens beautiful eyes
he was having another revalation
this is what Johnnys life was all about
he could see the answer in her eyes
Gretchen said hold on
and went and changed into her white power tee shirt
to make fun of Johnny even more
Johnny wondered how soon we could get to the part where there was some smooching and maybe she would give him back his heart
he praticed his lines on the way to Gretchens door
I Love You Gretchen he sang Bo didditly
I walked forty damn miles of Barbed wire
I love you Gretchen he thought
could you give me back my heart
Gretchen flushed Johnny down the commode twiced
he said I love you Gretchen Honey pie
as she flushed him even farther down the line
Johnny knew better than to love a red head
the babies might come out left handed even if they wer'nt his

Bertha had a privite detective following johnny around all day to see if he was true
the privite detective opened a manhole cover in the street and hollered down to the shit known as hell
"Johnny,you down there?"
Johnny climbed out and told big lies about aligators to an immigrant waiting for the bus
than later the same day Johnnys doctor found him pouring peroxide on road kill
Johnnys doctor was dressed all in white
and it was not a wedding dress she was wearing
and it was'nt a nice white sauce either

- Wednesday, August 13, 2003 at 07:00:43 (PDT)

"Did any of my Bitches call?"
Shouted Johnny Hollywood as he slapped his massuase
down the hallway.
Bertha entered and stuck the nine millimeter to Johnnys head and said "Goodbye you sick fuck" and pulled the trigger until the clip was empty
"Here have my tears" she spit in the bloody mess
Johnny needed to pull a rabbit of of the hat now
more than ever.
Johnnys heart would'nt beat
without saying "Ber-tha"
No his mind would'nt think.

Johnnys new doctor was wearing all white
and it was'nt no wedding dress if ya know what I mean

Its like that.
- Tuesday, August 12, 2003 at 21:30:22 (PDT)

"Did any of my Bitches call?"
Shouted Johnny Hollywood as he slapped his massuase
down the hallway.
Bertha entered and stuck the nine millimeter to Johnnys head and said "Goodbye you sick fuck" and pulled the trigger until the clip was empty
"Here have my tears" she spit in the bloody mess
Johnny needed to pull a rabbit of of the hat now
more than ever.
Johnnys heart would'nt beat
without saying "Ber-tha"
No his mind would'nt think.

Johnnys new doctor was wearing all white
and it was'nt no wedding dress if ya know what I mean

Its like that.
- Tuesday, August 12, 2003 at 21:29:50 (PDT)

"Did any of my bitches call?" Shouted Johnny while he slapped his massuse down the hall
as Bertha entered and stuck the nine millimeter to Johnnys head "Goodbye You Piece of Shit" she said as she pulled the trigger until the clip was empty.
Johnny was a D.O.A.

Johnny needed to pull a rabbit out of the hat now
more than ever
Johnny woke up half past dead
his heart had no feeling
it beat once more for Bertha
Ber-tha Johnnys heart was saying Ber-Tha

The Socialogist who werks for a burrito a day was
not even listening
- Tuesday, August 12, 2003 at 21:08:04 (PDT)

The Leader of the Cross Threaded Lesbian Mafia
rode up on a Honda,she looked like three Fonzies
"Don't you be talking to my Girl,Pilgram." She Belched at the full moon.

The Lord pissed into the wind.
The remainder of the game pieces stood and stared
as the police blew Johnny hollywood for thirteen seasons.
- Tuesday, August 12, 2003 at 20:55:23 (PDT)

On the nude beach in Highland park
Johnny rolled the oriental babe in cocaine until she was covered completely,but no matter what
Johnny Hollywood did there was always some
part of her body that did not have any cocaine on it because it would fall off. Johnny needed her to be completely covered for the next shot so he ended up licking her like a stamp,afterwards she did say in all her twenty years she had never been licked like a stamp and rolled in cocaine until she was completely covered.The shot went as planned but no one found that in the script either.
- Tuesday, August 12, 2003 at 15:44:55 (PDT)

Johnny Hollywood explained to his new underage oriental girl friend as they drank at the bar
"Yep,thats how we got the name,alright

There was baby mice livin' in the hole where the pick up used to be in my les paul copy I had leaning against the wall,and they was just born
well when I picked up the guitar
they fell out and thier eyes wernt even open yet
and they was running around bumping into stuff
and I said they look like they is on acid
so there you have it the name sake "Rat Acid".
- Tuesday, August 12, 2003 at 15:35:23 (PDT)

A childs eyes peer from behind the door
she screams
she sees
her mother lying half dead
not dead but drunk
passed out
strung out
a needle hanging from her arm...
but that was only monday.
tuesday a man crept into her bedroom
one of mothers oldest drinking buddies
left to babysit the children that night.
wednesday came and went
mother was no were to be found
although she starved this was okay.
mother still has not come home
and this is still okay.
drunken slurs
fresh bruises appear on her flesh
it was an accident
i fell off my bike.
saturday she has brought another party home
lines of coke decorate the table
elaborate designs provided by the many eight balls
sunday the lord demanded all should rest
mother came in at 2 am
she crept
and yelled at me for being aw ake.
- Tuesday, August 12, 2003 at 14:04:42 (PDT)

caught up with Johnny on bingo night and kicked the living fuck out of him
for bringing "Porno"
into thier communitty
then they stole his container of plastic chips and ripped up his bingo cards.

"Whats this film really about?"
asked Bertha as she cleaned his wounds.

"Its about the life of a big rock star like me" Said Johnny Hollywood

Johnny filmed the thirty six guitars burning in both color and black and white

"Thirty more burning guitars,and you could be satanic"
Said the lovely Bertha
- Monday, August 11, 2003 at 20:07:29 (PDT)

The whole shot was fucked up
when Johnny hit his head as the car turned over
he forgot to do cocaine on her ass
before the burning love scene
more wasted film Johnny would
"keep for furture study"
- Monday, August 11, 2003 at 19:57:32 (PDT)

not all of the buds were ripe

some of the magical crystalized
red hairs turned into snakes
and crawled across the mint green powder
as Johnny broke them up into her long blonde angel hair
she rolled in it
this was better than her wrapped in a flag

Johnny drove the get away car on two wheels for eight hundred feet before it flipped over
and he made love to her in the upside down burning car
as Bertha shot holes in the side of it using live ammo

"cut,print,thats a rap" yelled the new director they found at the soup kit chen
- Monday, August 11, 2003 at 19:54:06 (PDT)

Someone fished the script out of the garbage
and we found out the cheesy sedan deville hood love scene was'nt even in the script at all.
So Johnny said he could use it in the sequal
and would be keeping with him for further study.
- Monday, August 11, 2003 at 19:39:17 (PDT)

it was a cloudy day

And Johnny Hollywoods fourth angel slut sounded
"the new shirts you ordered are in Johnny,
the ones that say "There never was a Bertha""

but he picked up the three fifty seven magniums
and stuck one to each temple and pulled the triggers.

- Monday, August 11, 2003 at 19:30:26 (PDT)

The security guard climbed on Johnny Hollywood
and all of his friends said she was a bitch
but he recalled her as being warm.
- Monday, August 11, 2003 at 19:01:21 (PDT)

Johnny Hollywood drove up and down Broadway looking for the nastiest crack whore he could find to surprise the kids with a new mom.

Bertha had left him again throwing the rings
into the blender.

No one was good enough to be accepted into the family,Johnny had fields to harvest and his rock star life was getting in the way of that
- Monday, August 11, 2003 at 14:16:04 (PDT)

Johnny Hollywood said he was renting the ninteen ninety four sedan deville for the Cheesey love scene.

He had two hundred and fifty pounds of grated whole milk motzerella dumped onto the hood and Mariella
streched out on top of it and began melting it.
Johnny used eleven different camaras to get every angle of the shot.
This was one he was going to get right.
- Monday, August 11, 2003 at 14:09:02 (PDT)

More traditional than underground
Johnny recorded over three hundred different solos
for the itsy bitsy spider and asked the new vocalist to pick a solo any solo.
- Monday, August 11, 2003 at 13:55:03 (PDT)

Johnny Hollywood thought he had a great find
The most anerexic burnette around
until he tried to do lines off her ass
and it was to small
her ass was so small
how small was it?
her ass was so small
that the cocaine would not stay on it
it kept falling off
so Johnny wasted thirteen grams
powdering her pooh pooh
and never got the shot.

Then would you believe that Bertha walked in on Johnny and busted him good with one of his fiancees
there he was with the sweetest latino of his dreams
and no cocaine and no cameras
and would'nt you know it
thats how bertha knew something funny was going o n.
- Monday, August 11, 2003 at 13:45:13 (PDT)

she turned slowly to look him in the eyes
she never had the courage before then
and when she did she found
she had no voice
and he, no face

just another anonymous addiction

"Was I just your Habit? 'Cause I know a habit is
a hard thing to break..... Why don't you just go on and leave me? you know leaving me is the least that
you could do."
~ Ben Harper
- Monday, August 11, 2003 at 10:50:41 (PDT)

Johnny did'nt feel much like burning anymore guitars after the police got there
- Sunday, August 10, 2003 at 11:11:24 (PDT)

Johnny played a shit guitar at the pratice party
the red "v" shaped kramer focus he named Angela years before the "new mom" he found the kids turned bad and swatted the red "V" with the SG copy dante traded Johnny for the blonde bass.

It sounded like crap
so he started ripping the strings off the shit pile
until the pratice party took a turd for the worse
and every song now had cupcakes name in it in place of the real lyrics

"what the fuck are you the narrator?" johnny asked the
devil girl at the crossroads
he could hear little voices bitching at him endlessly
and he was out of chicken reported his personel shopper
who was looking a lot better than he was these days
Johnny put in an order for a tee shirt that sayes "I'm with the embezerler"
and she got her feathers all fluffed

at the Dennys restraunt Johnny found a nasty waitress to show his tattoos to
but her ass was to round to hold anything on it unless it was smeared with bacon grease
then it would hold a donut to it
"Thar are laws 'bout gravity" she explained

Johnny was in line at the welfare office
when the mosh pit broke out.
He was looking for extras and second helpings
he ended up sitting next to the lady who scratches a lot so he wrote poetry about the new experience.

after the day had passed Johnny Hollywood was assiged a caseworker with a half way decent ass
so he tried a few lines off her ass and then said maybe if he spent the seven grand to get the caseworker bitch some breasts it might be entertaining

Johnny woke up at a garage sale in the rain where a sandra bullock looking babe was working
what a sweet ass you have thought Johnny
then stacy spanked johnny and put him in time out yet again.

It was looking pretty bad for loser Johnny
The "itsy bitsy spider" was not going to be on the new album and he practiced it more than the minor penetonic scale he became depressed

I know what you need Johnny said his seventh lap dancer
you need love and she introduced him to the worlds most obease lesbian
she had three asses and he could not only do line off all of them he could do lines off the protective rolls of fat covering each ass
- Sunday, August 10, 2003 at 11:06:30 (PDT)

Travis found out Johnny Hollywood looked at his dream and stabbed Johnny Hollywood sixty six times in the heart before he reached heaven or hell.
Fuck off Travis said
"Fuck Off right back at you"
- Sunday, August 10, 2003 at 10:38:04 (PDT)

Johnny put the barrel of the thirty eight to his temple and said fuck off
as he squeezed the trigger he seen Jessica's eyes

he knew he went to heaven
- Sunday, August 10, 2003 at 10:35:12 (PDT)

"How could you shoot the volkswagon hood love scene with a girl who is not blonde you dumb ass?"
the preacher made an ass out of Johnny Hollywood during the sunday sermon.
Johnny felt sick and did'nt feel
like singing amazing grace.
he threw up in the collection plate
and was barred from the church for life.
- Sunday, August 10, 2003 at 10:28:26 (PDT)

Johnny woke up strapped to the bed on the sixth floor of "our tard of st.lesbian hospital"
he was in the psych ward and he could see foggy rabits
they zapped him until he wanted the "I love Bertha" medicine
He closed his eyes and could see helen hunt on the hood of the hunter green volkswagon Jetta
then it was a white volkswagon Jetta
then a black one
then he rubbed chicken all over Marella
until she said se se
please for me
one favor es quesadillas
Johnny told her she was to beautiful for his eyes to look at that he had to look away
and the next thing you know she was in a big bin of mozzarella and the camera were rolling
Johnny had the landscapers carry the big bin of mozarella to the hood of a nineteen fifty nine volkswagon and forgot that Mariella was not blonde
and completely ruined the shot and wasted more film
more film to end up on the cutting room floor
more film to end up in the bloopers file
- Saturday, August 09, 2003 at 22:12:57 (PDT)

The lord threw the first draft of the bible Johnny wrote into the fire and then lit his cigar with three hundred dollar bills as the bouncers tossed Johnny back and forth to each other before they took him outside and worked him over
when they was done Johnny Hollywood had a better understanding of what they needed as a bible and gave it another try

You are lying said the gypsy as she broke the eggs to try to remove the curse
the love spells never worked so why would this
- Saturday, August 09, 2003 at 21:55:32 (PDT)

Johnny Hollywood's Gibson S.G. had just as sweet an ass as the hottest angel on the planet so he tried doing a couple of lines of it and it worked just fine
so he decieded to eat a bowl of chicken noodle soup of it and everything was kosher there so he tried eating a beef sandwich on it and it was good to go so he tried pissing while wearing the guitar and he slept with it during the pretest so he decieded to try to live with the guitar strapped to his body for thirty days and then someone reminded Johnny he might wanna wash his ass during the big bet and he said thirty-six hours would be the amount of time he would be married to the cute little gibson guitar and then there was the time he decieded to walk thirty five miles playing the guitar the whole way ended up bieng only twenty five miles.Johnny's wah pedal was his heart he told the nasty dog faced whore,she was not impressed.

Johnny forgot who else was in the band he was in and told the bartender to move in with him that he could afford to pay for her outrageously costly cocaine habit.

Johnny was lying thru his lynyrd skynyrd looking teeth.He only wanted one thing,other than her,Bertha and Cheryl to jump out of the cake together.

Johnny Hollywood spent two or three days at the typewriter before he finished writing the bible.
He took it to the lord and was surprised when he gave him fifty bucks for it,and even more surprised when he lost the fifty at the dog track.

Then the lord kept calling Johnny Hollywood when he was trying to eat dinner and asking him "What in the dog's this here mean?" Until Johnny changed the number.

Johnny was taken hostage by the lesbian whore cops
and was made to go to garage sales all day where he met all kinds of nice people and almost got a gig at an old folks home on sunday.Everything was great until Johnny pulled his back out carring heavy stuff the lesbian whore cops found to be bargins.
- Saturday, August 09, 2003 at 21:48:28 (PDT)

The New Film Came
Said the lord
- Saturday, August 09, 2003 at 12:17:07 (PDT)

Johnny Hollywood had a series of revalations that would make everyone happy
he could do the lines off the hottest blonde angel
god had put on this planet
if he only moved over to her tattoo was.

Shure it was'nt the right spot on her ass to properly do a decent line of layla
but still it would show up fine on the camera
except when they did the shot in Johnnys new camaro
{they needed better lighting}

Who the fuck are you?
said Johnnys team of woo who girls slash lap dancers

"Wake up Johnny Hollywood and blow your brains out"
said the puppet master bastard tard

Johnny remembered the Bertha medicene
was in his other shoes

Johnny told the actresses not to call sweet Bertha "Yoko" anymore
- Saturday, August 09, 2003 at 12:14:20 (PDT)

"My Bertha,Bertha"

My Bertha,Bertha
shes so sweet

My Bertha,Bertha
My soul treat

My Bertha Bertha
everything to me

My Bertha Bertha
number one you see

My Bertha Bertha
looks like Carmen Diaz

My Bertha Bertha
shes all there is

My Bertha Bertha
Blonde hair blue eyes

My Bertha Bertha
put the sunshine in the skies
... ...
- Saturday, August 09, 2003 at 11:50:18 (PDT)

yes, I admit it
a flavored lipgloss addiction
take me in, boys
- Saturday, August 09, 2003 at 05:53:03 (PDT)

I keep telling you to
stop mixing the meds, brother

Do you really listen?
- Saturday, August 09, 2003 at 05:29:06 (PDT)

Johnny found that the first ass was the right ass.
It was perfect,creme colored and the white powder sparkled like diamonds against her beautiful hues
and the size and shape was just right for a few huge lines,and yes she was just the right tempature.
there was no need to look past this one

The new camara crew arrived!
You remember that retarded bitch that agreed to let "Rat Acid Band" duct tape a video camera to her head?

Johnny had props he found in the garbage to cut back on production costs.

working with the public

Listening to dizzy bitches all day gave Johnny so much courage that he walked into the cross threaded lesbian mafia union meeting acting like a bad ass but unfortunitaly came out carring the biggest bull dykes purse apploigizing to the crowd.He was sorry alright.
Sorry the day his mother shit him out ever happened.

Johnny had never paid union dues and lied about it
but the good news is that eventually he did outrun them.
- Friday, August 08, 2003 at 19:41:17 (PDT)

Johnny Hollywood was smashing coffee beans with a broken crapsman ratchet and a turkey baster when ratchel said "don't kill the mesikin jumping bean Johnny" but it was to late Johnny Hollywood was already making coffee with tequila worms.
- Friday, August 08, 2003 at 19:12:31 (PDT)

I will accept
you into this
fire, if
you pocess
no fear, run
landscapes of your spirit
and surrender
your being to attain
- Friday, August 08, 2003 at 11:43:54 (PDT)

Big Roxy stomped onto the set and declared her self
"the self acclaimed new director"
as soon as her slave carried in the grill and the chicken was burning she guzzled herself into a drunken stupor and passed out for seventy-two hours.

The new landscapers certianly were not sodbuster,
but they tried.
Thier big mistake was to keep asking
Johnny springer Hollywood "What happen you lady?"
"What happen you lady?"
It was obvious even to the peasants that Bertha did not care anymore.
- Friday, August 08, 2003 at 04:58:33 (PDT)

go fuck yourself, Z.
- Thursday, August 07, 2003 at 20:16:19 (PDT)

4 months away and i missed nothing.
- Thursday, August 07, 2003 at 06:31:05 (PDT)

Johnny Hollywood was on his way to get some ugly bitch and a half way cute blonde drove by the other way and Johnnys built in satilite navigational system {Mr.Penis} kicked in he turned left quicker than you could say bleach blonde but was supposed to go straight.Somehow he ended up at warner bros. demanding all kinds of crazy shit even Linda before they threw his ass out in the rain so he rejoiced and got down on his knees and began to pray and Christ snuk up behind Johnny Hollywood and stuck the gun to Johnnys head "cross threaded lesbian mafia" style and blew his fucking brains out all over the goat and it scared it into jumping out the window and then everyone knew the satainic rituals were going to really suck today in addition there not bieng anymore milk until the missing mascott was found. so everyone began searching for a pregenant corn fed coke whore.
- Wednesday, August 06, 2003 at 22:46:42 (PDT)

"how bout blowing your brains out" said Johnny Hollywood half asleep "I'll go first"

Then he took the vice grips and started
smushing up the coffee beans so he could shoot the coffee up into his viens with a rusted needle a prostitute just used for pekote tea

he was shooting up the coffee beans so he would stay awake long enough to get thru the shot where he does the lines off the bunny tail
- Wednesday, August 06, 2003 at 17:05:05 (PDT)

I don't know what to do
I can't eat
I can't sleep
it driving me insane and it's hard for me to not let if affect me
a piece of the pie is missing
what's there to find
if it's all out in the open

just a gap
it'll fill in
- Wednesday, August 06, 2003 at 14:35:39 (PDT)

Let the music help you through it
- Wednesday, August 06, 2003 at 07:57:12 (PDT)

Heaven's making phonecalls
and you're on the other line

your self-hate shows too much lately
can it and save us the time

you are not the only one your schizophrenia affects
- Wednesday, August 06, 2003 at 07:49:12 (PDT)

Bertha got shiney new chrome wheels for the tractor with the insurance policy monies.
its all about profile she told the coppers that pulled her over only to meet her.
she was the only super model that plowed two hundred and twenty acres a day round these parts.
"ya all act like you never seen Bertha on a plow before"
said the toll booth operator to the kids.
- Wednesday, August 06, 2003 at 05:20:29 (PDT)

Many problems plauged The Filming off "Johnny Hollywood {The Movie}

The straw supply company cound not keep up with the
daily order Johnny placed and production was at a stand still.

The KKK burned crosses into the three foot by three foot front yard the studio had because Johnny stopped doing lines off generic white bitches asses only because the toot was'nt showing up on camara against thier lily white fair skin.

The film could not get the "G" rating they wanted
and Johnny went psycho.

Then it rained for three days during the volkswagon hood love scene.

God was steadily shitting on the carnival Johnny Hollywood called home.

Bertha left Johnny Hollywood and went back to mama when she got the insurance check for Sodbusters death,she just wanted time to reflect on her loss.
Johnny became very depressed and started drinking like a shit bag karokee whore from the time he woke up until
the time he woke up again.
- Wednesday, August 06, 2003 at 05:15:32 (PDT)

With Johnny snorting lines off the nasty grease balls face thinking it was her ass and other stupid mistakes
film was bieng wasted and money was too.

The union busted in on the shooting and wrecked the place and Steven Spielbergs attorney was calling in a rage bitching about some copyright infringement
the script writers were freaking out saying Johnny rewrote every shot
and the director walked off the first day
still Johnny continued to audition for the lines on the ass shot which was suppose to be 30 seconds long and now seven hundred and sixty eight asses later
the film was all gone

tere was no talking to Johnny
he said h was going to snort cocaine off bitches asses until he got it right
he could not see past this one scene
and the only other part of the movie
he praticed lines for was the scene where he gets it on with the German girl on the hood of the volkswagon
thirteen olkswagons seventeen diffrent german girls later
and Johnny was back to the lines on the ass scene
is there nothing else to this movie Johnny?
asked one of the German girls stunt doubles
yeah the part whee I die said Johnny
"Cut" yelled the new director
who only became the new director because she had a volkswagon jetta that Johnny and Gabriela had not sweated on yet

Johnny said he hopes they dont cut the coke
Cut yelled he new director once again
Johnny had enough blondes and was really tired of doing lines on lily white asses buse he was missing some of the nose candy leaving it stuck to the caucasins asses
some he found a nice delicous tanned mesikin the the cocaine would not blend in with the coloring on her ass and would show up a lot better on the film but it was a little late for that seeing as how Johnny already wasted all of the film
but even when they were completely out of film Johnny still did lines on anerexic bitches asses facing the camaras as if nothing was wrong

what the fuck is going on Johnny said Bertha as she walked in on the closed set unannounced
picking the script out of he garbage
"you gotta adlib once in a while snookums"
Johnn said as he fucked up another shot
with Jennifer and had to do it over again

"Boy just wait until she finds out theres no film left"
said Jennypooh
- Tuesday, August 05, 2003 at 08:51:19 (PDT)

Johnny bought two waitress' and pretended they were Bertha then feeling guilt for cheating on Bertha he tried to end it all by drinking the shit coffee

Johnny needed closure

to his shit life with out Be rtha
- Monday, August 04, 2003 at 20:51:35 (PDT)

Johnny Hollywood crawled into a hole and died
then he stuck a thirty eight to his head and pulled the trigger

the greasiest drive up window worker/welfare recieptants ass was perfect for the movie said Johnny as he tried to get down
"the only thing this ass needed" said Johnny "was a little duct tape and some spray paint"
the make up crew was furious they spent fifteen minutes
applying cover up on grease balls ass and Johnny stuck duct tape to it like it belonged there
then after the limo took a turn to hard Johnny some how ended up snorting cocaine of her zit covered face
thinking it was her ass,he was so embarassed.
- Monday, August 04, 2003 at 20:42:50 (PDT)

Johnny Hollywood committed suicide in the light of the full moon,it was a "beautiful night to die" he sang as he slit his wrists over the tattoo of Bertha he paid five hundred dollars for,{it looked just like her}
but it was taking to long so he went to the crossroads and made a deal with the devil

The devil said Johnny Hollywood could have bertha
if Johnny traded his soul solos
even though Bertha cheated on Johnny when they were kids he still loved her and wanted her ass
to be the ass he snorted cocaine off of
he was having a series of brain hemmorages thinking about licking cocaine off of Berthas honey bee sweet lips and dreamed of taking bertha away from all this to some little town hanging off a mountain in West Virgina and getting a room with an indoor outhouse
and staying in this room with her for weeks only opening the door to have gravy and biscuits delievered
then the Bertha Christ love potion Medicene wore off and Johnny was back to wanting to snbort humoungous lines off Berthas sweet ass
only while watching "twister" and tapes of "mad about jew" Bertha Mae was pissed now and kicked Johnny down two flights of stairs
then the next night when Johnny came to the window playing an ukelele singing I love you to much Rachel to Gretchen Bertha urinated off the fire escaPE onto Johnnys ukelele case he had filled with thirty seven pennies so people would want to throw more change into the case
but it hardly ever worked
which is why Johnny woke up on the off ramp holding a sign saying "I love Bertha"
because now that his eyes were swollen up from her bashing his face in he couldnt see the television to see twister so he just listened to the tapes
so to summerize
Two things were certian
Johnny Hollywood did love Bertha
and He wanted to die
- Monday, August 04, 2003 at 20:27:22 (PDT)

Johnny F.N. Hollywood blew his brains out in the snow and the rain
there was nothing to live for and he did'nt care

he left a note saying I love you
but it was a lie he didnt love you
he did'nt love anything not even his self
but he did fuck your mother with a football before he left this shithole of a world we live in
Bravo Johnny said his landscaper who only came to the funeral to eat
I only come to funerals for the women said the preacher as he farted
- Monday, August 04, 2003 at 15:51:39 (PDT)

Johnny was important in the world of rock and roll
so he spit on the fans while walking down the street
only problem was that some of the unsuspecting pedistrians were not Johnnys fans.
So when the police got there Johnny had to be the one who wanted to snort lines off the hot sluts badge
when he was done he gave her a nice bribe.

So Johnny thought he was the shit until the cross threaded lesbian mafia caught up with him
and kicked his ass good for bieng "chauvinistic"
the whole time Johnny denied driving anywhere
and said he knew nothing about the late sodbusters wheels off his tractor bieng missing
he was watching "twister" when this allegly happen he claimed. thats when the Media released the story of Johnny Hollywood and big Roxy playing twister while under the influence of buddist babes.
- Monday, August 04, 2003 at 15:45:44 (PDT)

Johnny hillbilly Hollywood
double parked the tractor out in front of the diner
right in the middle of main street as if he no longer cared,he seen Bertha Maes mule tied to the front post and seen Sodbusters nice new tractor almost hidden in the back it was show down time in the name of love
Sodbuster came out into the street and said its not "even high noon yet Johnny"
as Johnny shot him dead
then Bertha came out with her broom and started crying on Sodbuster
so Johnny said fuck that bitch and tried to leave but not before Stacy spanked Johnny Hollywood and put him in time out.Johnny Hollywood had lots of time to think
and what did he think about? He thought about leaving this two fuck town and meeting a nice brown eyed bleach blonde he could take out to the olive garden for some over priced food
but,as it turned out Stacy was'nt having it and Spanked Johnny Hollywood with a capital S
"Oucharoonies" said Johnny Hollywood out of pain
he was certianly sorry he was a gunfighter now
he thought as he raced out of town on the tractor his grandfather went to the high school prom on
in nineteen thirty nine it was the shit,
and he was only backing up traffic for a short time anyway,biotch
- Monday, August 04, 2003 at 08:45:18 (PDT)

Johnny stuck his head between his legs and kissed the world goodbye
he would have slit the retarded bitches throat by now and would have even if she was a super model
but because she was a mental patient he felt sorry for her even though she was'nt worth a bullet
johnny planned a murder suicide

he dreamed about opening her skull and removing the brain
this is whats been fucking with me he would say
and dance on it before the damaged brain would become a hacky sack

everybody said

johnny was a school boy when he heard his first beatles song
- Monday, August 04, 2003 at 02:46:33 (PDT)

Travis, lay off the coffee, bro.
for yourself, and for all of us.
- Sunday, August 03, 2003 at 23:00:34 (PDT)

Johnny should have saved us by now
I mean hes got the suit of armor,the horse,everything
said the godess but Johnny was nowhere to be found
and nobody was playing hotel california anymore

Johnny was no knight in shinning armor for anybody but a blonde cheer leader he found perfect to do lines off
her ass her ankle belly button and even her earlobes

- Sunday, August 03, 2003 at 21:30:58 (PDT)

Johnny Hollywoods fans were little bitch pieces of shit
so he caught one of them and locked it in the basement until he decided how he was going to kill it

"No Johnny" said ratchel dont kill the piece of shit fan let it go

so Johnny looked into her eyes and tried to look past her black dress and blew his fucking brains out on red head damn he thought as the bullet hit his brain
with a message of tempature overload
the vixen meant thought loss

"yeah you want I should save the trees too? honeypie."
Johnny knew he needed to win two lotteries
and Johnny knew she could give him a heart attack but wanted her forever anyway
he dreamed as he thought and put the ak-47 to his brain and did'nt stop in the name of love as it were
- Sunday, August 03, 2003 at 21:21:54 (PDT)

Johnny hollywood wanted to die driving over a cliff doing lines off a bleach blondes ass
and so he put a rocket launcher to his temple and let er rip
he was dead again and on his way to heaven
up up he went into the skies out of the hell
into space
where he stopped at the commie bitch nuke station in space
and found a nice mail order astronut prisoner bride
to test the lineage upon her buttocks
but cound'nt stand her accent when she talked so
she was dismissed quickly and thats how the angel got to read for the main chacter part

and yeast the maters on the vine said the baglady on crack

for the angel had an ass
there was no other angel ass to compare
schwing said johnny hollywoods answer to lesbianism as an ism
god save the cat box
- Sunday, August 03, 2003 at 21:07:15 (PDT)

Johnny Hollywood the movie was way over budget.

"All the grant monies were used up down at the walmarts ,and someone had to buy all those camaras and cocaine" said Johnny Hollywood

Johnnys lady was not a keeper thats no lie
why in fact when they had to switch her out for the stunt woman so as Johnny could do lines off her ass in the opening scene Johnny f n Hollydaze was heard saying "I like dis one here betterlike"


Johnny put the nine millimeter in his left eye
ouch he said and pulled the triger

Johnny put the nine millimeter in his right eye and then he called me a nigger

Johnny blew his nose and wasted more film

Johnny woke up broke
and wanted to die somewhere else this time
- Sunday, August 03, 2003 at 20:54:59 (PDT)

Finally the lord answered Johnny fucking hollywoods prayers
he was going to do lines off Berthas beautiful ass
and life was good
until he spilled out the shit and Berthas ass rose up and engulfed it all
"Slurp" said Berthas ass very loudly
"Slurp" then "Slurp" again.
- Sunday, August 03, 2003 at 19:23:36 (PDT)

"Yes, I'll take 'The longest run-on sentence I've ever fucking seen' for five hundred, please"

how old are you, twelve?
- Sunday, August 03, 2003 at 18:01:16 (PDT)

let's say we tried it your way
and platonic we remained until
the obstacles inside our lives
worked themselves right out

I could do this but only if
I am assured that this is truely
really what you do want and just
so you know I am reluctant because
you have yet to ever disclose your
true feelings and where you would
like us to go and honestly the only
thing lately that keeps me hanging
in there about you is the recent fact
that I was reached indirectly by you
you know now something you either did
not know before or maybe you did but
were just unsure and now that you know
its not just me what do you plan to do
and please do not say nothing

- Sunday, August 03, 2003 at 17:28:13 (PDT)

can I offer you a story
one filled with true love
and founded on intimacy
bestowed on two from beyond
what they were allowed to unleash
was remarkably beautiful and of its
own kind and within time they still
stood remembering the new and good
times while forgiving and forgetting
the old and dark times
- Sunday, August 03, 2003 at 17:18:28 (PDT)

Still i think you should know
just how I feel about you even
though we probably will never be
one like we are in our nite dreams
I know you know that I know that we
know its us who hides behind the scenes
but this time there can be no me reaching
although I did try once but thank you know
who that you were not reachable for at that
time I really had nothing much to say that
would comfort you into knowing we are some day
- Sunday, August 03, 2003 at 17:11:29 (PDT)

i still cannot find the right words
to tell you how i feel about you
all i know is that you reached out
to me and in return what you found
was me not quite living alone

i think i finally know just what you have
been trying to deliver to me over the years
and i also know that it is this good life
which will make me holy and ultimately closer
to you and me and us and we together someday

we are old history but not forgotten and if I
could have my way once more I would ask that ye
wizard come through my heart's door for I know
once and for all who you are in relation to me
and knowing this then makes it harder to forget

I hope you at least hear my words if unable you
are in seeing them because this is the moment of
truth and the time to be honest and since I asked
of your relavence and receive a reply there is no
doubt then that you and I could never say goodbye
- Sunday, August 03, 2003 at 17:03:26 (PDT)

Winner Winner Winner

"Miss August 2003"

- Sunday, August 03, 2003 at 12:14:53 (PDT)

Johnny made crosses on the ass of the second nun
crosses out of lines
the lines were procaine
then someone got the ideal to try to pick up the ugliest woman at the bar
and everyone ended up wearing asbestoes suits
drinking rootbeer and watching a pidgeon eat lines of alka seltzer off the ass of the third nun who was hungry now and wanted piedgeon barbi cue
- Saturday, August 02, 2003 at 23:49:54 (PDT)

Johnny Hollywood went to AA meetings to meet girls like the television told him to
he had to forget the night he put the exlax in sodbusters blatz beer so he would have time to sneak out and disconnect the tractor battery and run off with bertha for the weekend but sodbuster caught them at the airport and Johhny reliegous hollywood found two nice nuns to be his nurse
and everything was fine until it came time to snort lines off of the two nuns asses
because the first nun had a huge ass
which Johnny was use to big ass now but
this ass had to be spackled and then johnny used drywall tape to try to cover the craters in the nice nuns extremely big ass
there was nothing Johnny could think of that would level off this ass
so he tried wood glue
- Saturday, August 02, 2003 at 23:39:18 (PDT)

Dr.Johnny Hollywood finally recieved the govenment grant issued to him for his mental paient prostitute babysitting/study but he was sick of tardzilla many months before the check ever came so he spent the entire check on his next project{getting Gretchen pregenant in the walmart parking lot while listening to dueling banjos}

"No she does'nt stand up to pee!" he told the cart fetcher as she pushed him around the parking lot one more time,She thought Johnny was dreaming so she woke him up and handed him the hand gun she used for protection while out in the parking lot at night
He shot himself fatally and seen mother threaseas ass
so he floated over to he cloud and started to do a line of her ass
but when she bent that big ass over
there was already a half gram stuck to her ass
someone had beaten him to the old bags wrinkled cheeks
and he did'nt know who
- Saturday, August 02, 2003 at 23:22:44 (PDT)

Johnny berthachrist Hollywood begat the home made bumper stickers that read "I Love Bertha"
with the big red heart,and this asshole stuck one on every dodge product in town
signafieng thier love,while wearing gloves because
he thought that someone would find out it was him
thru dna tests

"Is he fucking stoned?"said the fat woman the band stole from the circus in st.louis the week before
believing the stories of Johnny getting drunk and
drawing nursing certifacates in crayon for a rabid chimp someone traded for two parakee tes
- Saturday, August 02, 2003 at 22:36:50 (PDT)

poor Bertha
she even slapped on lipstick for him
- Saturday, August 02, 2003 at 21:36:28 (PDT)

kiss me
- Saturday, August 02, 2003 at 20:45:02 (PDT)

Johnny Hollywood woke up in the dark
during the storm he went outside into the pouring rain
and stuck both barrels of a twelve gauge sawed off shot gun into his thinking cap and told bertha good bye

where ever she is he thought

there were no solos playing now
he pulled the triggers and blew his fucking brains out
but he did have the good sense god gave him to have his brains copyrighted first

so Johnny woke up on the batman roller coaster front roll at night
when Johnny woke up he realized there was no way in hell he could do lines off this bitches ass
she looked like an overdose of the worlds biggest plumbers ass crack as he dreamed of riding his horse into town with I love bertha bumper stickers on her saddle he threw his sombreo into the air yelling cubs win cubs win

Johnny took the six inch barrel nine shot twenty two
and tried to kill the mosquitos with it but if he shot straight at the ground it might miss because it was such a piece of shit it was off
swating them with the barrel would have worked better
but bieng johnny hollywood he just aimed a foot and a half to the right of the misquitos and it was a bullseye everytime
all the excitment caused the heffer slobs juices to flow and johnny decieded to end it all
and set up road cones in front of it
with a big sign saying "road closed"
then he emailed the health department again asking them to remove the enlongated squall
- Saturday, August 02, 2003 at 08:16:03 (PDT)

johnny learned the hard way not to do lines off a cops ass even if she was blonde
with the code name "MEG agent"
unless she was going to school to be a dentist too
he owes her a lot of money
because when she cuffed him
she told him to turn his head and cough
- Friday, August 01, 2003 at 22:10:43 (PDT)

Johnny watched the hail as it fell
for a while then he ran out into it
and started shooting at heaven cussing god
"I prayed for a bleach blonde for two months you son of a bitch" yelled the angry bastard
then he reloaded and aimed right at where he thought god would be at that exact moment
but being a man he was wrong
you see god was'nt there at all he was down at the temporary labor place standing at the counter with his hands in his pockets pretending he wanted to work
when really the only reason he was there was he was hoping they would hand out sandwiches again today
- Friday, August 01, 2003 at 22:01:03 (PDT)

The God The Devil And Johnny Tardbait Hollywood

johnny tardbait hollywood drank coffee until he shit
to stay awake for the auditioning of the new nurse
he was seventeen hours into this hell and turned away
everything from lapdancers to lady police officers
strippers even low life bartenders which johnny signed a contract that he would never under any circumstances date any bar fly bar rag bartender for any reason what so everhe was a respectable rock star now and wanted to have something nice
he was sick of them all now but kept telling himself if someone goes thru all the trouble to dye thier hair blonde the least he could do was take notice of that fact
and notice he did when satan herself abused him with one look he was damaged goods after he accidently looked into her eyes
she won many awards for mind games in one look
and the only thing that brought him back was seeing god her self
but right afterwards he became servely depressed
and we all know what the doctor was prescribing these days so Johnny spent a while doing lines off the doctors ass till that got old and then he tried each and every wanna be nurses ass
which when you think about it is a lot of work
but this one ass was the only one that was worth the time to snort anything off of and only when god was not around so he dont get sent straight to hell
.the cat box day parade
- Friday, August 01, 2003 at 17:43:23 (PDT)

johnnys doctor had wierd spots of pschyodellic colors
on her lab coat and she was a living eye test
- Friday, August 01, 2003 at 02:39:08 (PDT)

Johnny fn hollywood asked to be taken down from the cross several times
and nobody really gave a fuck
except to throw more stones
like astroids they tore open the soul

His new nurse bambi left him alone only for two minutes so she could go throw up dinner and he got down from the cross and crawled into a hole and d ied
- Thursday, July 31, 2003 at 22:12:39 (PDT)

Johnny Hollywood blew his fucking brains out with a nine inch barrel three fifty seven magnium in the morning sun the skies were light blue and white with little silver linings then he woke up married to miss everything and there was no better thats when he stuck the gun to his head and pulled the trigger as he woke up and knew it was only her he could wake up to
and there was no other angel
who could save him from the depths of hell
as the trigger released you could hear it say her name
as the firing pin pronounced him dead

Johnny Fucking Hollywoods brains splattered
across the wall and ceiling
saying he died without meaning
he realized as he woke up alone
after any feeling was gone forever
he put the barrel to his temple and closed his eyes
said a prayer to her and gave his life in the dark where no one cared
squeezing the trigger
his mind closed when she tore it out
the flames of hell burned inside of his mind
when his memory meet a bullet named after her
- Thursday, July 31, 2003 at 22:02:49 (PDT)

Johnny Francis Nicolas Hollywood
had a rough day of turning down nasty ugly bitches
and he was ready for a change or some change you might say,so he rented a tux in some bogus name with an id he found on the side walk
and he soon headed out towards "Winneka" in hopes of meeting a nice honey with shitloads of money
it looked real good on paper
but he soon felt like a magnet for ladies who had bigger moustaches than himself and they were rather high maintance and as if that was'nt enough not one of them agreed to jump out of a cake
but more than one was agreeing to him
buying them a cake which may be the reason not one of them had an ass nice enough to do lines off of
so he called the service and they were all out of nurses then out of desperation he agreed to a biggie size french maid who was only in the bizness to pay for her daughters to go to welfare
what a mistake that was because when he refused delievery by not opening the door
she chewed big wholes into the wood telling johnny she was part router wieler
- Thursday, July 31, 2003 at 17:19:50 (PDT)

yes you have hooked me
line and sinker
you made me feel like a goddess
I'm going down

I know what it's like to be in a Botticelli painting
it's rough coming back as this
rip me open
my heart needs freeing
take me down
- Thursday, July 31, 2003 at 17:04:25 (PDT)

Winner Winner Winner

"Miss August 2003"


!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!
- Thursday, July 31, 2003 at 16:59:25 (PDT)

Johnny scraped the bowl in honor of
the slut who has nice nails and said to himself
everyone get out
and he wanted all the fans to leave now
before anymore of the mail order brides family
showed up
the polocks did'nt take to kindly to bieng called niggers and bertha was banned from the human race for bieng a predigiest plow operator in three counties
but that didnt erase the fact that her pimp was an old russian dude that has a big stain on his forehead
- Thursday, July 31, 2003 at 10:21:27 (PDT)

- Wednesday, July 30, 2003 at 12:59:14 (PDT)

Johnny Hollywood woke up on the wrong medicene again
he wasnt shure if he was watching sabrina on the television or at a red light in a car next to some generic bitch that just kinda resembled her plucking nose hairs.

but either way he was sorry that he woke up
let alone woke up on the wrong medicene again
this time his nurse morphed into a dragon with a four foot mouth breathing lies and bitching out orders
to anyone who would'nt have her committed

"Wake up Johnny,you fucking piece of shitski"
"The beauty contest went into overtime and you now have to cancel your world tour"{standing at the same intersection strumming along to something he wrote
that noone cares to hear}
"Thats right you sick fuck the your world tour is cancelled, Now you have to go werk like three mesikins
at your sisters house to pay her some of that money you owe her"

Johnny FN Hollywood was having the same dream that Travis always has and there was no way he wanted to wake up in this lifetime,you know the one where he's married to the cheesecake bleach blonde angel and he's hanging over a bridge two hundred feet above the river and she lets go of him and he falls to his death
over and over
yeah that would be the life he thought

then he looked on line for a nice lazyboy chair
he could have delievered to his little sisters
house before he was to start the hetic werk schedule
she had planned out for him
he was just glad she didnt call immergration on him and agreed to do anything and werk for free was on that list a deal is a deal said the souless son of a bitch
wait a minute he remembered
this was his little sister not satan
and we wernt talking about his soul either
wait a minute he remembered
he was born in this country and was a flag waving american why he even dug the most applest pie bitches in the hood

with a troft outside to feed big roxy with

yep wasnt no crazy maggies farm scenerios going to fuck up his day and he wasnt going to werk fer ya all
like three mesikins fer free no more no maas
"go fuck yourself" he said as if he himself was a
union bumper sticker

- Tuesday, July 29, 2003 at 21:57:58 (PDT)

amazing how that bounced right off

- Tuesday, July 29, 2003 at 21:38:28 (PDT)

As soon as the thoughts send the signal thru the microchip to thier reciever
Johnny found but another new nurse
but she wadint all scooled up
so he checked her teeth and sniffed around her tail
he was shure she was soulmate material
when he done saw how big her purse was.
after a series of tests to see how fast she could medicate the coffee undetected in the honey bee suit
he made her a nice zip gun to match her shoes and
wooed her quickly before sodbuster came into town for supplies and caught a glance at the worlds 13th wonder
long as she wadint from that fucked up mail order bride service he bounced those checks with everything would be kosherski ya dig?

So as soon as the barrels were empty at the reception
party at the VFW hall Johnny got a big insurance policy
on Tardzilla and called his Congressman about getting her a nice sit down job at the tollbooth in hope she dies of carbon mionoxide poisioning soon

"Stop that you cant write that" said Ms. Hitler bitch
you need a nice dose of censorshit she pronounced

A wonderful beverage server as well
the lovely even newer nurse without a cause looked on

"Ya mind if I pet the dawg?"
the teeth marks in Frank's ass seemed to spell out
"maybe thats the reason Dawns turning to wimens fer love" said Bertha's rocket scientist sister

"I dont have nothing in life and they wanna take that"
Travis said to the only good looking girl on this island

I don't think she heard you trav,she moved two months ago
said mister itchie scrots
- Tuesday, July 29, 2003 at 21:25:39 (PDT)

today johnny francis nicolas hollywood found an ass
so nice you could do lines of cocaine off of it
but she was'nt a nurse
and it would cost who knows how much and take how long to send her to nursing school
so he just used her ass to break up some bud on
and then filled a small bong with it
in the name of the holy lord her christness
"but shes not even blonde" said lugnut number two
sounding the supermodel alarm
- Tuesday, July 29, 2003 at 10:44:39 (PDT)

Once upon a time
The third nurse said
He knew the dog faced bitch was right
and his reason was inspiration
and his inspiration was pissed for some unknown reason
but still he is moved by the aforementioned inspiration
"I love you inspiration" he scarred his mind with her art

Johnny began the search for a new doctor
and a new nurse
he put his shirt that said "Golda I Love Your Guts" on
inside out as a disguise

"but niether hide or hare of none of them could play a lick of bass" said sodbuster as he emptied Bertha bank account for nuceular crack.

"two dolla?" frank the old lady murderer said as he smoked rock salt to help his ass to stop bleeding anytime soon.

the lord said there would be bleach blondes
first and foremost
and he begat making
"I brake for bleach blonde bumper stickers
but the only person to buy one was himself
only during happy hour did he manage to sell a couple of homemade bumper stickers that said no fat bitches
with a red circle with a line thru it over a nice drawing of lard ass herself.

so Johnny looked in the yellow pages
for a doctor and a nurse that didnt work for an escort service,but they had to have an ass nice enough to do lines of cocaine off of.

"You have to be really careful with a search like that" said lugnut number two

"yeah you remember what happened wit dat bitch wit all doZe zits on her big ass?" cried lugnut number one
"the grease got into the mix and caused a weird high"
Mr. Penis said almost sad.
this madcap team was his only fans on this fine day

Johnny drank all night until he had the answer
He could be his own doctor and your sister would make a great nurse if she could cook spegitti he convinced himself and it would only cost roughly seven grand for her to have breasts so he decided to write a nice hiaku about it how he dreamed of impregenating a couple,no make that only one

hot mesikins in a rusted out van
without food money jewerly or drugs

sure it was stupid
but still better than "the medicene makes me shit to much" sonnets he wrote on magazines in the waiting room,today he was a poet,why just waiting for the coffee to get better? he was heard ryhyming "test of tests" with "retarded ass"

Johnny needed wheels so he boarded his tour bus
{The Sheridain 151} and was lapped by an old bag lady with a walker that had statues of jesus and mary duct taped to the handle to try to reflect the sunlight into passerbyers eyes so they could not see her moustache so easily

Johnny why didnt you call dial-a-doc said the nasty slut that ruined what was left of his life

Her whore bags were heavy....
she never wore a bullet proof vest
and he made more mental notes that would soon be replaced by memories of a bleach blonde he seen today at the lottery cash registar sinning of coarse

it took sticking the barrel right up to the doctors temple before she could see the art
even with open mind she still sold the nice nurse
like a piece of meat

and they all lived happily after
the end

- Monday, July 28, 2003 at 20:57:03 (PDT)

we've got strawberry cream sandwich cookies
for hearts
I'm with Mr. Yummychums
I could kiss your lips until my face falls off

your innocence is what I live for

- Sunday, July 27, 2003 at 20:44:10 (PDT)

actually, make that a chocolate malt
- Sunday, July 27, 2003 at 17:07:32 (PDT)

"nOT wHAT i HAD iN mIND"

"The mariuana trees that Ozzy had originally
told us to visit were in a swamp"
is what the crazy bitch whispered in
Johnny Hollywoods ear in the hospital elevator.

Outside the sky wanted rain and Johnnys fans were everywhere,he thought.
As he walked along the horse trail in the two fuck town the fans drove by and beeped for him to get the hell out of the way.

As the medication the new nurse injected
into him illagally began to wear off
he could see she was half way cute
but could wrestle polar bears
so Johnny was out in the cold with no one but delusion until he bought a jacket off the back of the presidents kid to protect him from the rain
into the back of the sacraficial guitar of the day.

"My pussy hurts" said Johnnys new nurse
as she spiked the coffee in anger
"it aint my bitch" thought johnny
"I want what is love and my heart"
his mind was stuck
on blue eyes

"My pussy hurts" said johnnys newly self appointed nurse as she began yet another game of mind game seek
mind fuck mind fuck mind game mind fuck
"My Pussy Hurts"Said Johnnys new nurse as she called for back up

spank it in a dykely manner
and blonde as this bulldyke may be her ass was in no shape to do lines off coke off of
and johnny fucking hollywood begat the thought process
i need a plan to get a better plan

it would repeat itself
he now needed the right love spell
and did not want to use a credit card
to buy one off the shitternet

With a loaded hand gun he watched out the window
for his last soulmate to return
only wanting jack daniels,beef sandwiches and a limo ride to karokee

"How about you get a nice aids test?"
he asked the old hag dried up prostitute?
Then he tossed her needles into the woods
and a drunken tree trimmer thought her moustache was "looking good"
"SSSsshiiiit" said Johnny Fucker Her Faster
"I know of a cia bull dyke massicist whoo looks better than rain dog,ouch,over yonder"

As yeast infection pours out of sherrys third nipple,
the lord cried
I have mental illness!!!!
- Sunday, July 27, 2003 at 11:45:52 (PDT)

the mariuana trees that ozzy told us to visit
were in a swamp is what the crazy bitch whispered in
johnny hollywoods ear
in the hospital elevator
outside the sky wanted rain
and johnnys fans were everywhere
as he walked along the horse trail in the two fuck town the fans drove by and beeped for him to get out of the way

as the medication the new nurse injected
into him illagally began to wear off he could see she was half way cute
but could wrestle polar bears
so Johnny was out in the cold with no one but delusion until
he bought a jacket off the back of the presidents kid
into the back of the sacraficial guitar

my pussy hurts said johnnys new nurse
as she spiked the coffee in anger
it aint my bitch thought johnny
I want what is love and my heart
my pussy hurts said johnnys new nurse
and blonde as this bulldyke may be her ass was in no shape to do lines off coke off of
and johnny fucking hollywood begat the thought process
i need a plan to get a plan it would repeat itself
he know needed the right love spell and did not want to use a credit card to buy one off the internet
with a loaded hand gun he watched out the widow for his last soulmate to show want jack daniels,beef sandwiches and a limo ride to karakee
how about you get a nice aids test he asked the old hag
dried up prostitute?
then he tossed he neddles into the woods and a drunken tree trimmer thought her mostache was "looking good"
shiiiit said johnny fucker her faster
I know of a cia bull dyke massicist whoo looks better than rain dog ouch over yonder
as yeast infection pours out of sherrys third nipple
the lord cried
I have mental illness!!!!
- Sunday, July 27, 2003 at 11:29:53 (PDT)

cross threaded lesbian mafia poetry
- Sunday, July 27, 2003 at 10:57:22 (PDT)

"by the time I found out she was only a nurse"

by the time I found out she was only a nurse
and could'nt really make coffee

I had already been spazed upon and spanked
by just another cia bitch
posing as the luetienant general
in the cross threaded mafia

You call this the bull dyke massage?
wondered Johnny F.N. Hollywood
there was to be another failed attempt at humour
on her part
then there was the award cermony where she was to recieve a shining gold medal in super model coaching
then she would be obligated to give a series of boring speeches about her spare the rod tactics
then mr. bojangles decieded to call the animal humane society
because he noticed hair missing from his tail and he knew which scrap book to look in first
if he could anne frank his way past the tight security
he could catch a glance from the keymaster
before the door would never again open in any dream

By the the time I forgot about the times when she would talk to me and be my inspiration

by the time I found out she was only a nurse stalking me I knew not to drink the coffee
but what would generate the speed needed for Johnny fucking Hollywood to play the guitars at speeds exceeding thirteen hundred cat box units of measurement
per minute?

with no bleach blond to dream about and the david crosby diet bieng over for nearly two days
{due to lack of foodstuffs}
something needed to be done fast
in the name of the cat box
- Sunday, July 27, 2003 at 10:54:36 (PDT)

lesbian cat box etiqute
- Sunday, July 27, 2003 at 09:41:49 (PDT)

and when i think a slew, of slews,your slew has always been in my heart not enough salulting will ever bring you home.i think the warp between us wil somehow bring a whole. but in the meantime ill ingest,our clandestine tempest is true, surrounding assailant troubled silence my whole heart still is a stifled troubled ends meet betweeen us like an open facade fire blazing blitz of POO till it forget that tells you and the rest is up to you never forget that irony becouse i really ,really end this wit and forward appreciation i really love make of it as a cicus and the court jesters in drag i like you as a matyr but your courage makes me mad.regardless all you need to be is i n fetish clad.your perfect in every way ,and your needy for the deity .your mock is my feedy. you were the last fraud but now your admirable to and so and so it goes .......find your frock whore and run with her she loves martinis and dinner parties, and i hope to be the badest swarre hoststest NOVA..................... ...........................................EXPLODING STAR OF ALL INNEDACUACIES OF ETHICAL MANIFEST.
- Sunday, July 27, 2003 at 02:42:07 (PDT)

"now im writing about you"

what i would like to say to you
you will never hear
from lack of listening s kills
- Thursday, July 24, 2003 at 20:25:56 (PDT)


snitch bitch
no nut mother fucking spy
piece of shitski
- Thursday, July 24, 2003 at 20:08:47 (PDT)

I'd like to take this moment to thank
my retard-a-fuck cult following for blotching up yet another good thing I could have had
with the hottest woman on the planet
fuck you and again fuck you
very much

- Thursday, July 24, 2003 at 20:05:49 (PDT)

In apathy open heart lost
deny me love for reason
wasted angel wing thoughts
life defined as distant beating
chained inside an empty world
hollow past no feeling

- Sunday, July 20, 2003 at 20:41:00 (PDT)

Taming a prostitute-A Case Study

From the beginning of the endeavor
it was found that you could
make the prostitute fall in love with you
without controlled manipulation
but the observed results were that
you could not stop the prosititute
from bieng a prostitute in such a late phase.

Slight skitzophrenic episoides have been recorded.

Research procedures have been aborted without
further conclusion,if not out of boredom.
It was found that proper analysis and careful observation can not be obtained
due to the limitations of proper funding
without a grant or sponsor.
- Sunday, July 20, 2003 at 11:48:23 (PDT)

wisdo m
compa ssion

you are all these things and a dish of cheese fries
I love you

- Saturday, July 19, 2003 at 19:33:41 (PDT)

Sorry it took so long
I had to find a place to bury that bitch
and then I walked back
now what was your q uestion?
- Saturday, July 19, 2003 at 13:41:13 (PDT)

well then
- Friday, July 18, 2003 at 21:09:14 (PDT)

The life that pumps through these veins of mine
is different from the life that makes my heart beat
which is also different from the life that flows
in and out of my lungs and it is too different from
the life which lies inside my lips waiting for you

if not by phone thought bell then by car said ford
but what about by optical bill suggested and so
that's what we done but then soon later he got
board and ran far away never to be seen by me
ever again

I do not aim to be like you its just working out that way
but that I am you is that so bad after all or can you not
get past long enough to pass a law about where I stand
in your world if even at all there is some kind of hope I
believe we both should know before it is too late for us

Therefore I leave it up to you to be your judgement call
if ever there was a time when you got a dime and the time
that time would be now because time is all we have when
only one of us truely knows how to feel about you and me
while the other just goes about his bizness not declaring the
feelings he carries for the one he thinks about all the time
while throwing in the air and then catching his favourite dime
he's afraid to waste because he knows that it could be a crime
in what he may find if he begins to love and thinks that it won't
be returned for better or worse, for richer or poorer in sickness
and health until death do us part I swear on my heart I am yours

- Friday, July 18, 2003 at 20:13:31 (PDT)

while johnny hollywood
begged God for forgiveness
he offered to carry her cross thru town for her
like it was her books on the way home from school
she was all there was
and he was willing to kiss it and make up
reality ate away at his brain
and she was always miss cheese cake 2003in his eyes,
in thirteen dreams her lucious long legs
would sing "Run With Me" to him each and everytime
he looked into her eyes he had inspiration
the only art anywhere around
the reason to be found
and all the bitches so underground
were of no intrest to his heart anymore
- Friday, July 18, 2003 at 09:16:25 (PDT)

"An Angel Like You In A Place Like This"

Don't lie to me with those thorns
already you know my heart is yours
all the other jealose angels turn
if its not for its against you

Don't kiss me with your mind
my love for you will collide
in a universe of wasted time
unless to ourselves we are true
- Thursday, July 17, 2003 at 21:03:55 (PDT)

"Fuck Off"

it was only a nightmare
Johnny Hollywood woke up
someone had left the television on
and twister was causing this entire helen hunt delima
his brain was burnt on bleach blonde
in reality
he never stuck his nose up her ass and he never carried her cross thru town
except in his mind
in fact he never had a divorce party because he never got divorced

because he never got married
so he said

but we do know for a fact that if it was'nt blonde he did'nt want to have her over to the hole under the sidewalk he lives in for a can of pork and beans he opened with a knife

and we also have documented when the nice doctor found out about these deluisions he was having while sleeping with the helen hunt shows blasting on the television at the right moment of the rapid eye movement cycles he was brain washed to worship the actress and unfortunatly anyone who resembled her
and he does have a very large law suit pending against the cable company involved which could mean more than a couple of corvettes and one hell of another divorce party
but the nice doctor who works for a burrito a day
is against the party ideal so far
she has prescribed no more television at all
for johnny fucking hollywood
and she never lets him snort cocaine off her ass
but we are still unsure about her sister
her mama did offer everyone a line of baking soda that was kinda moist from bieng stuck in a roll of fat to long
but you gotta guess which roll of fat its stuck in

but if you know johnny hollywood like his nice doctor does you would know that this looked good on paper only
and she broke quickly and he now is allowed to watch snoop doggie fizzle,and rain man only,

but he did get caught sneaking an unauthorized copy of
{stop me if you've heard this} "Twister"
into the prison camp and tried to blame his personel
shopper for this and breaking the answering machine
which was another good move because she don't speak a word of english and when they questioned her about the alleged tape parapnial and answer machine damage
she thought they wanted her to take off the french maid outfit and put the honey bee suit on
which quickly changed the subject and everyone forgot about the original bullshit problem at hand
Why the hell does Johnny Hollywood still carry a picture of a red head in his s hoe?

- Wednesday, July 16, 2003 at 21:21:57 (PDT)

Is it "Cat Box Heaven"?

Will I need steel toed boots?
Cat Box Valentine Overdose
- Wednesday, July 16, 2003 at 20:48:55 (PDT)

You to me are my drug
every possible space
when I get the chance
I fit you inside my mind
in order to get my daily hug
Call it what you want
for in the end, it may have
just been infatuation that kept
my interest alive but just know
that at some level, I have known
you unlike the rest and from what
I have seen, touched, heard, and
smelled you truely are the best

Come away with me
to a place so rich
in many natural ways
that to see it is to
believe it and it is
to know then that you
really are experiencing
it so then together we
make astronomical and gas
tronomical love to something
so beautiful in the sky that
is only known right now to you
and I
- Wednesday, July 16, 2003 at 18:07:52 (PDT)

its hard to stay cool
but to know that you
are what is at risk
is what then makes it
easier to remain calm

If I deal with my issues
because of me alone, then
it is also because you give
me hope, motivation, and inspiration
to complete the task of self refection
that I so need to do

If we never amount to anything
at least we will have something
from the time we spent before it
seemed as if we should shut the door
which by the way is very hard to do
and that makes me wonder if the same
is true right now for you

Will you ever make your presence known
if not in person then by the telephone
to at least let us confirm what we have
always known and that is the love that
lies between us in the untouched zone
and so if home is where the heart is then
my home must be with you!
- Wednesday, July 16, 2003 at 17:57:44 (PDT)


never a thought
of such great beauty
could ever die

- Wednesday, July 16, 2003 at 08:39:42 (PDT)


My closed heart
knows it is only you
who holds the key
- Wednesday, July 16, 2003 at 08:31:58 (PDT)

To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow,
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day
To the last syllable of recorded time,
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!
Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage
And then is heard no more: it is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.

look dumb bitch,shakesphere is writing about you on the shitternet
- Tuesday, July 15, 2003 at 19:10:47 (PDT)

God, my heart is bursting
when will this end
- Tuesday, July 15, 2003 at 16:45:42 (PDT)

this jessica must be some hot bitch
- Tuesday, July 15, 2003 at 15:03:17 (PDT)

"Blonde Enough For Me"

With the sky empty
my heart understands
a day without you
- Tuesday, July 15, 2003 at 04:06:44 (PDT)


Angelic beauty
overdriving my mind
in inspiration
- Monday, July 14, 2003 at 21:30:59 (PDT)

"I Can't Dream Past This"

Heaven blue eyes
soothingly smile upon
my broken heart
- Monday, July 14, 2003 at 21:09:06 (PDT)

"You have to know"

Your golden locks
shine in the morning sun
blinding my heart
- Monday, July 14, 2003 at 21:01:04 (PDT)

"Sonnet For Jessica"

Tell me would this mirror lie
splintering shards of the past reflection
stealing the only hope from my eyes
leaving my empty heart without protection
as serious as life it is no game
hypnotised I feel dazed I wonder
clouds spell out your lovely name
the wind answers her spell I'm under
whisper thoughts of her last glance
every song born from her direction
I give you a love that lasts
your heart my only selection
an angel hid inside every prayer
holds onto the only reason to care
- Monday, July 14, 2003 at 18:26:32 (PDT)

"In My Heart There Is Jessica"

To think would be of you
in dreams my mind is ripped into
to breathe a sigh answers the way you move
there would be no other love old or new
layers of song try to define a heart so true
while there is no hold on such great beauty
my soul only reflects these blues
- Monday, July 14, 2003 at 04:57:53 (PDT)

"Jessica Dream"

Your eyes to beautiful to hold mine
my unchained imagination never could be as sweet
electric stabbing memories like a thorny vine
a vision so fine no dream could compete
your skin across the blue morning skies
you simply are the prettiest girl I know
art blinding my mind with every goodbye
how your smile resinates my soul
to you I give my blood,my lifes breath
my heart offers only to you love tokens and ryhyme
could it be enough to worship you 'til my death
each thought comes back to you everytime
There is nothing else this could be
except an undying love to you from me
- Sunday, July 13, 2003 at 22:11:44 (PDT)

If you're heaven, then

when do I die?
- Sunday, July 13, 2003 at 17:29:11 (PDT)

"Travis Wait"

I'll wait forever for you
I'll wait until I die
I'll wait forever for you
'til the day I die

I'll wait forever for you
believe me no lie
I'll wait forever for you
noone else could break my mind
- Saturday, July 12, 2003 at 23:01:35 (PDT)

Robbin I love your guts
- Saturday, July 12, 2003 at 22:56:24 (PDT)

I can never be one-of-a-kind when
That second-rate, generic bitch is around.
I Don't want a shadow

- Saturday, July 12, 2003 at 22:28:41 (PDT)

you never bring me your simpsons any more
- Saturday, July 12, 2003 at 16:50:21 (PDT)

ok cant wait honey
- Saturday, July 12, 2003 at 08:42:26 (PDT)

You're not inside me anywhere except my head

....we'll have to change that

- Friday, July 11, 2003 at 22:04:56 (PDT)

everything under the sun
including the simpsons
common pass time playing pool
pull out the quills
pound on the drum
smoke outside
to bad I turned down a chance to be on the roof
yes I wanted company in the shower
water spilled all over the carpert
honesty on the cement
bottle in the door?
walk in the park
magazines covered in glass
hiding in the train riding to run away
spraying colour onto the city
tweed jackets and a yoga studio
blue skys for the bray backyard rodeo
evolution was silly but thank god for mommies
neighbours unknowingly lending their pools
Am I coming on strong under the stars in the middle of the park
or is it okay that I like hartley in Hawiaee too
noone could recognize their own selves after having a few
I told you that I didn't and I knew it would be me who would stick too cause you told me too and you were and still are the only one who can get through to me and for that I love you
- Friday, July 11, 2003 at 19:56:03 (PDT)

the ten year tunnel

I swore I would never speak of you
nor would I think of you anymore but
no matter how much I believe I am
done with you seem to make me see
what life could offer me and we would
embrace every risk without thinking twice
I thought of you when I looked into their eye
but I knew then I must not cry and soon the time
will come where I will have no choice but to have
to say goodbye unless I make up my mind to be by your side and at one point you were and you do soothe me even from far away oh how at times I wished you were there holding me and I holding you as if we did care
- Friday, July 11, 2003 at 19:01:32 (PDT)

silence comes with a price
I heard your exit message
and experience is the way
to really understand need
I say more on that issue
and now for my grand fin
alie was my name but I am
also known as the english
man named Jay but let it
be known that I'd never
take it back no matter
how much pink there is
in faggy floyd

- Friday, July 11, 2003 at 18:51:56 (PDT)

Like sand slipping thru my fingers
I feel her in my heart
the only one I would trust
under pressure I rewrite every part
before it is lost forever
tears in my mind

- Friday, July 11, 2003 at 09:40:57 (PDT)

"All the Fucking Grey Skies Blue"

BleachBleach blonde blondeBleach Bleach blondeBleach blondeach blond Bleach blondeblondbleech
Bleach blondeBleach blondeBleach blondeBleach blondeBleach blondeBleach blondeBleach blondeBleachBleach blonde blondeBleach Bleach blondebloBleBleach blondeach blond Bleach blonde
Bleach blondeBleach blondeBleach blondeBleach blondeBleach blondeBleach blondeBleach blondeBleachBleach blonde blondeBleach Bleach blondebloBleBleach blondeach blond Bleach blonde
Bleach blondeBleach blondeBleach blondeBleach blondeBleach blondeBleach blondeBleach blonde
- Thursday, July 10, 2003 at 16:57:46 (PDT)


Seven love spells inside your heart
never let us be torn apart
your eyes I have always looked for
it is only you I adore
tomorrow yesterday will not change
to me you mean everything
: : : : : : : : : : :
- Thursday, July 10, 2003 at 02:43:21 (PDT)

I can see the Panton Lorely Main Deck
in his eyes
and I can't remember
who I was in love with
at the time

but I stuffed away it in my heart anyhow

- Wednesday, July 09, 2003 at 17:50:21 (PDT)

look thars a Stuckeys
lets stop and get a glass
that says kentucky
- Wednesday, July 09, 2003 at 02:09:27 (PDT)

and you know what happens when he drinks the shit coffee
donut you?
- Tuesday, July 08, 2003 at 20:23:06 (PDT)

was a blast there was ol' hank williams
and the chili peppers on the juke box

and bertha was wearing swim fins and a bib
eating live carp and playing the spoons
while sodbuster had brought his entire collection of flags he resucued from the side of the road
like the knight in shining armour he truely was
he had flags on his tractor
he had flags on his hat
he was giving them away and shaking hands at the door like a preacher running for public office
at the salad bar johnny hollywood was spreading terible rumours about himself and wasting his life
with out the angel with heavenly blue eyes
to wear his ring or whisper in his ear

he began to drink the shit coffee
and you know what happens when he drinks the shit coffee dont you?
he gets crazy
but not as crazy as the mosh pit in the foyer
in front of the black and white television playing the betamax movie "greasy night fever"

well johnny hollywood was no jim morrison on this night
he was trying to get over the newly appointed goddess
who would care not
jessica I LOVE you he chanted
as he tattooed "marry me bitch" on lug nut number two
and some of the guys from the opposing bands thought if he snorted some cocaine off of Kellys ass he would feel a little better about himself
but he even did that wrong
spilling seventy-two grams into the floor
as he literally stuck his nose up her ass
no but the camera lady broke a lens and snoted chopped glass while johnny hollywood wished kelly was jess
and cleaned her lint trap twice{belly button}
"sweet jesus stop that!"
said the peoples for country music
as the bull dyke surprise passes a new amendment
miss 2002 lied to Johnny Hollywood and made him believe in santa claus and the fucking easter bunny once again and security was ready for more mind games
I think he really likes you Jess they toyed with her
"you fucking right he does" said the lords second guitar player as he still was stabbing him in the back
and it was the truth he really does love her
if he could love anything
because if there was a tomorrow
he would die for her in a minute

right about then country fucks cute wife sang
another one of those seventys songs
and everybody was glad there was beer
then they liked the solo too

Johnny fucking Hollywood was truely in love and hired the leader of the cross threaded lesbian mafia
to take care of the obsticle in the valentines way
miss pussy spank would sniff out a problem before there could be one
and if she had to shine officer bleach blondes badge per se
so be it

and that crazy cult following kept fucking with chris
making her think she had a chance
as if anyone gave a rats ass

"get over your self honey"
said the killer queen ala gina as no one listened
- Tuesday, July 08, 2003 at 20:17:30 (PDT)

I love bleach blondes so much
I think I'm gonna puke
- Tuesday, July 08, 2003 at 14:05:00 (PDT)

get over yourself there,cupcake
- Tuesday, July 08, 2003 at 12:29:25 (PDT)

more americans are dying over there now
than during the war
- Monday, July 07, 2003 at 05:16:05 (PDT)

To her I worship
for her my heart b eats
- Monday, July 07, 2003 at 04:55:06 (PDT)


Barb wire puppet strings
hammer on
bending neck strangulation
changing keys like locked dreams
slide across love notes
making your heart bleed warm
turn around feed back screams
speed means everything
can't you feel it crying
so raw
- Monday, July 07, 2003 at 03:38:34 (PDT)

"JESSus christICA"

As long as there will be a tomorrow
I have have yet to dream
a fantasy my mind pleads to borrow
nothing important as your smile may seem
It is your voice I hear in silence
like whispers in dreams of deep sleep
if I turn my head in love defience
still these warm thoughts forever keep
Your name the only song I hear
as my eyes close yours are all I see
to hold the sweetest angel heaven has created near
worthy of your love could I ever be
goodbye is all the pain I fear
memories endlessly a part of me
Travis Ray Cole
- Sunday, July 06, 2003 at 21:21:07 (PDT)

"JESSus christICA"

Your skin across the blue morning sky
creating love in my mind
- Sunday, July 06, 2003 at 17:51:39 (PDT)

Jess the best
in the midwest
put it to the test
no contest
her hie ness
- Sunday, July 06, 2003 at 17:48:28 (PDT)

It all started out as a simple quest
to find out how much the bulldyke massage
would be,then it turned ugly.
- Sunday, July 06, 2003 at 13:07:31 (PDT)

unhappy camper

Jerod better break out a big unbrella soon
or a nice scuba diving suit
- Saturday, July 05, 2003 at 22:16:41 (PDT)

"Our Love"

I just want to open your skull up
and hold your brain in my hands
just to see what exactly it is
that is fucking with me
- Saturday, July 05, 2003 at 22:14:49 (PDT)


one day after I found the five of hearts
in the road

the snake lay
as I smashed it with a rock
the head became liquid and

usually I kill them by skidding over them
- Saturday, July 05, 2003 at 22:12:17 (PDT)

Rescuing two american flags from the side of the road
I thought about that apple pie blonde
wrapped in one
- Saturday, July 05, 2003 at 22:04:16 (PDT)

Right off the line
I looked up into the stands at Bertha Mae
as it pulled to the right

- Saturday, July 05, 2003 at 21:59:50 (PDT)

give unto me
your donut love
- Saturday, July 05, 2003 at 08:58:35 (PDT)

I completed my marrige like it was public service
not fucking another since I met her
but getting fucked over the entire time
- Saturday, July 05, 2003 at 07:15:11 (PDT)


As many colors as the sky
each thought turns to you
a million hearts cry
inside your heaven blue eyes
dying to taste your smile
it is you the sun shines for
extract the warm truth love trial
a waste
my life without you
- Friday, July 04, 2003 at 10:29:17 (PDT)


Would the forth of July skies be enough
to shine upon this angel

The shadow of my broken heart
clouds the love I offer

A dream that leaves me alone
with a memory that intoxicates my soul

Inspiration laced with depression
knowing your heart makes mine sing
holding onto sinking stones of hope
Travis Ray Cole
- Thursday, July 03, 2003 at 21:40:52 (PDT)

and if elected

a rooster in the crossroads
the collection plate doubles as a pot to piss in
a television in every car
a landscaper in every driveway
- Thursday, July 03, 2003 at 21:11:53 (PDT)

super sonic hydro phonic douceamatic beliefs

A chicken is a chicken is a chicken
tomorow never comes first of all
for every bowl or bong a pot tree to believe in
a cadiliac escalator wit twenty inch wheels
in every welfare office parking lot
a televison screen for every nasty karokee whore
to read all the wrong words
at all the wrong times
where the sun don't shine
- Thursday, July 03, 2003 at 12:14:28 (PDT)

Kelly Cakes
come out to play
Kelly Cakes
come out to play ayh
- Thursday, July 03, 2003 at 12:04:28 (PDT)

he completed his marriage like it was public service

- Thursday, July 03, 2003 at 09:34:25 (PDT)

Winner Winner Winner


Miss Independance Day

- Wednesday, July 02, 2003 at 17:09:14 (PDT)

A chicken wishbone in every pot
a car at every welfare office driveway
and a work song on the television in every living room.
- Wednesday, July 02, 2003 at 04:25:14 (PDT)

Hail to
stuffed animals, fluffy comforters and cereal
with Saturday Morning cartoons
- Thursday, June 26, 2003 at 10:30:59 (PDT)

Winner Winner Winner


Miss Summer 2003

- Wednesday, June 25, 2003 at 13:48:51 (PDT)

Winner Winner Winner


Miss Summer
- Wednesday, June 25, 2003 at 13:44:11 (PDT)


Now accepting applicants for

"Miss Summer"
- Wednesday, June 25, 2003 at 04:40:13 (PDT)


Now accepting applicants for

"Miss Summer"
- Wednesday, June 25, 2003 at 04:39:26 (PDT)

We'd Like To Give a Shout Out To:

The bartender's Ass, Christina Aguilera, Terry, Culver,Mick Foley, Scruggs, Meachum, Shott, Stonestreet, WENDY BRAY, Burgess, Christen Carper, Jodi Taylor, Charles Bently, John Henson, Chris and Beth Henry, Mr. Godfrey, Mr. Bourne, Mr. Hankey, Kenny, Kyle, Cartman, Stan, Beavis, Butt-head, Bo Duke, Luke Duke, Daisy, Uncle Jessie, Rosco P. Coletrain, Boss Hogg, The 1988 Oakland A's, Droz, Jesus, Satan, Enus, Christopher Walken, Keith Richards, Eric Clapton, Ginger Baker, Jack Bruce, Jeff Beck, Jimmy Page, Joe F. Perry, DMX, ODB, Ja-Rule, Paul Stanley, Gene Simmons, Peter Criss, ACE FREHLEY, Bruce Kulick, Vinnie Vincent, Eric Carr, Eric Singer, Jessica Comer, Barry Dillon, Bigger Thomas, Jared Barker, Shawn Michaels, Jericho, SABU, RVD, Brandy Bagar, Paige Mustard, BROOKE BOURNE, Matthew Wooten, Lala Wooten, James Richard Wooten, Tammy Underwood, Richard Underwood Jr., T-Bone, Cooter, Effie Epperson, Bob Epperson, the one armed guy who hangs around downtown, Thomas J. Whitmore, Bruce Raven, Wedny Bray,Drake Calloway, Stephanie Ballargin (?), Pete, the guys at Anheiser-Busch, Jack Daniels, Jim Bean, Joel "whether at home or here in Dayton the women are watchin me and maturbatin" Gertner, Cyrus, Joey Styles, Anthony Perdue, Spyder Crowley, Johnny Blast, Ward and June, Brian Logan, Joey Morton, Jared Rottenberry, J.D. Rottenberry, Grandmasta Sexxy, Scotty Too Hotty, Danny Cameron, Heather Lyons, Jamie Hypes, Leah Hypes, Michael Williams, Brandon Williams, Last year's French chick, This years french chick, Kelly Howell, Jessica Stamper, Hannah Stamper, Ryan Stamper, Jeff Burnopp, Caressa Barton, her older sister who was cool, Sarah Kinder, Sarah Stevenson, Stephanie Walk, Steve Matthews, Thomas White, Arron Combs, Ben and Jerry, Daniel Mounts, the guy who "raped" Elisha Cuppett, Shannon Stewart, Mike Haddox, the Puppies, Ulysses, GENERAL LEE, KIT, David Hasslehoff, Jan Micheal Vincent, The guy in teh cartoon who turned into his car, the smurfs, the FRAGGLEs, Wendy Bray, Mario and Luigi, Sonic the Hedgehog, Walt Disney's cremated body, Pricess Di (in hell), JFK Jr., Hitler, Musolini, Castro, My Dad's French chick, Bret Hart, Owen Hart, Mike Meyers, Austin Powers, Wayne Cambell, Andy Kaufman, Tony Clifton, Ladka, Jerry "the King" Lawler, The cast of MTV'S "The State", Beth Littleford, Jon Stewart, Mo Rocca, Vance Degeneres, Steve Cobert, Jimmy Kimel, Ben Stein, Adam Corolla, Bill Clinton, His cock, Monica Lewinsky, Linda Tripp, Stephanie Flowers, Paula Jones, Tonya Harding, Nancy Kerrigan, Jeff Goloulee, Lou E. Dnagerously, Tom Petty, Mandy Moore, Britanny Spears, Christina Agulera, Backstreet Boys, N'SYNC, 98 Degrees, 3 count, Fozzy Osbourne, Ozzy Osbourne, Ozzie Osborune, Rob Zombie, Phil Anselmo, Dimebag Darrel, Vinnie Paul, Rex, Waylon Jennings, Wille Nelson, Johnny Cash, Kris Kristopherson, Yoko Ono, Fred Durst, The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, CREAM, Aerosmith, KISS, 80's KISS, Reunited KISS, Wendy bray,Flotsam and Jetsom, Metallica, Metallica w/out Cliff, AC/DC, Motley Crue, Poison, Unskinny Rose, C.C. Deville, Ford Motor COmpany, Steve Mother-fucking Polychronopolous, Adam Sandler, the Chrysler Corp, Every 1969 Dodge Chager every built (particulalry ones painted orange), Oldmobiles, Geos, Breyers Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream, Nicole Johnson, Nicole Perry, Nicole Thompson, Nicole Artrip, Nicole Sullivan, Nicole Baurer,
Nicole-(ous) Cage, Danny Bonaducci, Leif Garret, Donny Osmond, Marie Osmond, Tommy Hilfigger, Wendy Bray,FUBU, Levi, Lee, Wendy's resturaunt chain, niggers everywhere, all the fags, Jews, spics, chinks, japs, honkies, wetbacks, Nazi's, The Axis Powers, No Doubt, Sean Gurtis, Bush, Silverchair, Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Pearl Necklace, Pearl Drums, Pearl S. Buck, Pearly Bowman, The 1972 Anaheim Ducks, Eric Estrada, Every car every blown up on TV or in a cool movie, Arnold Shwartzenager, That skinny bitch off Dateline he's married to, Jane Pauley, Stone Phillips, Tom Brokaw, Dan Rather, Peter Jennings, My insanlely large cock, Bryant Gumball, Katie Kouric, Willard Scott, Al Roker, Matt Lauer, Ronald McDonald, Grimmace, the Hamburgler, Birdie, Mayor McCheese, Bogey, Pammy, Rick, Scott Steiner, Drizzt Do'Urden, Elminister, the Polterguist, the Exorcist, Linda Blair, the Blair Witch, Heather Donahue, Phil Donahue, Rosie O'donnel, Oprah, Harpo Productions, Wendy Bray,Happy Madison Productions, David Spade, Dana Carvey, The 1984 Indianpolis Colts, Garth Algar, The Church Lady, Ross Perot, Micheal Ducockass,
Saddam Hussaine, Macanudo Cigars, Allsop Mousepads, Value Jet, Pan-Am flight 109 over Lockerby Scotland, George Clinton and Parlamental Funk, All the transvestites of the world, all of the transvestites removed penises, Lesbians, Jim Carrey, Ace Ventura, The Cable Guy, Fake Andy Kaufman, Rubberface, Lloyd Christmas, Fender Guitars, Gibson Guitars, Wendy Bray, Les Paul, Leo Fender, Marshall Amplifiers, Michael Jackson, Iron Maiden, Black Sabbath, Matt Glover, All the members of The Razor Blade Cult, Lloyd Bridges, Beau Bridges, Bea Arthur, Estelle Getty, Tim Allen, Abe Lincoln, The hot version of Sigourney Weaver, Al Snow, Al Gets, Al Yankovic, Allen Thick, Dick Clark, Andy Rooney, Andy Rickter, Conan O'Brien, Roger Anderson, Frank Parker, Tori Amos, Jewel, Alex Trebek, Tori Wilson, Pat Sajak, Banjo Kazzooie, Twisted Metal 4, Doink the Clown, Pamela Anderson Lee, Tommy Lee, Alyssa Milano, Wendy Bray,Beth Hash, Ice Cube, Ice Tea, Vanilla Ice, M.C. Hammer, Villanos 1 through 42, Lenny Lane, Lodi, Tommy Orion, Billy Sadler, Benjamin Nyetanyahoo, Lolita Davidovich, Carnie Wilson, Indiana Jones, Han Solo, Luke Skywalker, James T. Kirk, Pubic hair spong, Barney the dinosaur, Big Bird, Snuffallunfagus, Will Smith, Tupac, Puff daddy, Pistacios Nuts, Mr. Peanut, Mr. T, Mr. Belding, Tweek and Craig, Zakk Wylde, Zack Morris, A.C. Slater, Kelly Capowski, Lisa Turtle, Screech, Jesse Spano, Carlos Santana, Wendy Bray, James Hettfield, Lars Ulrich, Kirk Hammet, Jason Newsted, Ralph Lauren, Ralph, Ronald Reagan, Jimmy Carter, George Bush, George Thorogood, David Arquette, Mariah Carey's Tits and Ass, The girl from Disc Jockey with perfect Tits and Ass, The all around hot girl from Sunglass Hut, The woman in Leopard Skin selling copper, The dudes that sell hoods, Tommmy Dreamer, all the guys at Nascar HQ, Tree Hugging Hippie Store, Dip N Dots, KISS dude at Spencers, Carie Worley, David at Kay Bee, Mindboggle, Silent Scope, Tyler Winkler, Henry Winkler, The Fonz, Jonie and Chachie, Richie Cunningham, Scott Bayo, Mel Saunders, Dustin Hoffman, Jack Nickelson, Hal Sparks, Mel Gibson, Bruce Willis, Chuck Norris, Tom Arnold, Walker,Texas Ranger, Randy Rhoads, Suzzanne Somers, Tom Selleck, Magnum P.I., Bert Reynolds, The cast of Riptide, Captain Winkie, Ben Folds Five, Steve Bushemi, Quentin Tarantino, Harvey Kytel, Penis pistol from duck til dawn, Mark Callaway, Salma Hayek, Jennifer Lopez, Daisey Fuetes, CATHERINE-ZETA-JONES, JENNY McCARTHY, Dennis Rodman, CARMAN ELECTRA, Denise Richards, Terri Runnels, Tori, Debra, Ivory, Chyna, Rena Mero, The chick with Black hair that was perfect, chick from Ames, Wendy Bray, Grace Slick, Jefferson Airplane, Clarence "the Fire Breathing Negro", Trojan Man, Julius Ceasar, CALIGULA, Stanley Kubrick, Oliver Stone, JFK, Jackie O, Steven Spielberg, Rob Sneider, George Lucas, Jeremy McGrath, Tony Hawk, Nick, Ryan, Roby and Tyler, Jergens Lotion, Hugo Boss, Squave, 12 dollar shampoo, Dave's Brush, David loves Miss Congeniality, David Horowitz...The Jew! He likes to watch us masterbate and he goes: "Splat splooo slooop" all over us, Rico Squave, Mitch Headberg, Lewis Black, THE ROCK, The girl who wouldn't have gone to college if it weren't for her horse, Steve Austin, Hacksaw Jim Duggan, Shane Douglas, Steve Corino, Hewlett Packard, Bill Gates, Jack Victory, ROADKILL, Danny Doring, Electra, DAWN MARIE, Justin Credible, Lance Storm: From Calgary...Alberta, Canada, Vito Lagrassi, Mulletts all over the globe, Little Guido, BIG SAL E. GRAZIANO, Tracy Smothers, Make-out fest 1986, Jerry Lynn, Spike Dudley, Mike Awesome, Masato Tanaka, Masahiro Chono, Yoshihiro Tajiri, The Great Muta, g Fresh, INDIANS from CANNIBAL THE MUSICAL, ALFRED PACKER, Juan Swartz, SCHWAN, Humphries, Trey Parker, Matt Stone, Meatloaf, Barbara Streisand, Dale Earnhardt,George Carlin, Jose Canseco, Cream Boxed Sets, Agent Smith, Neo, Morpheus, Trinity, The Twins, MTV's Jackass, Bam Margera, Johny Knoxville, Preston Lacy, Steve - O, Chris Pontius, Raab Himself, Lil' Key-Key, Rake Yohn, Blossom, Bubbles, Buttercup, Mojo Jojo, The Mayor, Ms. Bellum, Ed, Edd, Eddie, Courage the Cowardly Dog, Cindy, Wendy Bray, Allicunt, Thumper, Kelly Culver, Kelly Clarkson, Lacy Peterson, Lacy Peterson's head, Lacy Peterson's dead baby, Scott Peterson, Amber, O.J. Simpson (not a jew), but guess who is - Hall of Famer Rod Carew, Harrison Ford, Tony Soprano, The HULK, Spider-man, Christopher Maltasanti, 2002 Forest Green Metallic Cavalier, 2000 Black Grand Prix GTP, Sweet T, rope, fuck, The Econo Lodge, Skeletor and Beastman, America's most beautiful caverns, Seth McFarlane, Christine Elizabeth Bayton, Eternia, Tim Reed of Bluewell Kroger #273, The 1976 Pittsburgh Steelers, The Axis of Evil, The Coalition of the Willing, W, The W, Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds, Will Ferrel, Dane Cook, Gary Buesy, Cow and Chicken , Time Squad, The Transformers, Optimus Prime, Megatron, Smokescreen, Sideswipe, Sideways, Hot Rod, Red Alert, Thundercracker, Starscream, Jetfire, Colin Ferrel, Hugh Jackman, Mister Anderson, Zion, The Animatrix, The Antimatrix, Dumb and Dumberer, Nokia, Bobby Trendy, Shelton Benjamin, The Sims, Tommy Thayer, RE-reunited KISS, Paul Stanley, Gene Simmons, Eric Singer, Ace Frehley, Peter Criss, Eric Carr, Anton Figg, The Donnas, The Beautiful Creatures, Dio, Tenacious D, Jack Black, K.G., Lou Reed, Laura Kightlinger, THAT LOVELY, LOVELY POETRY BOOK, and of course, PROVIDENCE!

The Magic Indian
- Wednesday, June 25, 2003 at 01:37:14 (PDT)

just what are we saying
if we've got anything at all to say
is it anything worthwhile?
if we both just stopped pretending
it would be so much easier

I wonder if I cross your mind
as much as you cross mine
and yes, you crossed me permanently

it's in the tub
on the way to work
in hours of red-light traffic
in the middle of a psych test
in a bowl of cereal
the moment between losing and finding the keys
realizing that it's all a lie
and it's what you make it
or believe that it is

or what it's not
and all of that other positive
half-full mumbo-jumbo

scraping away at the denial

that we're not connected
sheilding the guilt
pressing the blame

the charms ricocheted
the spells I set upon myself all the while
the bitterness I pretended was strength
the self-respect I thought was self-love
the selfishness I believed was taking care of myself
the things I keep purchasing to try and fill this void

the assumptions that you felt the same
that you felt



I keep pulling up the fool
all the time passing
it's slipping
I should have made the move
and gotten over with it

glorious E minor
and a pen that never sells out

- Tuesday, June 24, 2003 at 23:18:33 (PDT)


stop pretending to be

you know you

miss me
- Tuesday, June 24, 2003 at 22:29:12 (PDT)

Still Nothing
- Tuesday, June 24, 2003 at 12:49:46 (PDT)

more of the same
- Tuesday, June 24, 2003 at 10:02:35 (PDT)

- Tuesday, June 24, 2003 at 03:28:27 (PDT)

it's only right that genii need genii
be my genius
- Sunday, June 22, 2003 at 20:48:33 (PDT)


I'd like to be swirling behind you
to be your air
the magic in your head
the beauty of your synapses
and just let me in your world
I can keep secrets
the particles to be mine
the blood around your heart
the surprise in your light
and the electricity in your palms

and time could only tell
if it's meant to be to feel you
you are magic

and I'll be here
- Sunday, June 22, 2003 at 20:47:20 (PDT)

I forgot my Ricky Ricardo jacket...
Pins & Needles
- Sunday, June 22, 2003 at 06:49:59 (PDT)

this time next week I will be in the air
- Sunday, June 22, 2003 at 06:43:08 (PDT)

fuck fuck fucky-fucky fuck-fuck
fuck fuck fuuuuuuuuuuck

- Saturday, June 21, 2003 at 10:04:32 (PDT)

i wanna
- Friday, June 20, 2003 at 13:24:25 (PDT)

i wanna
- Friday, June 20, 2003 at 13:24:24 (PDT)

i wanna
- Friday, June 20, 2003 at 13:24:12 (PDT)

Dear God
I neeed a camaro
- Friday, June 20, 2003 at 13:22:27 (PDT)

I love you too
you little red headed vixen
- Friday, June 20, 2003 at 04:33:55 (PDT)

I love you
- Thursday, June 19, 2003 at 08:12:24 (PDT)

Dear God

Thanks for shitting on the parade over here

we have got to talk
- Thursday, June 19, 2003 at 04:25:25 (PDT)

Please God
please please please
please please please

Magic Kelly Cakes in her birthday suit
- Wednesday, June 18, 2003 at 10:39:47 (PDT)

Kelly Cakes {as seen in Heaven}

I neeed another dose
of the girl with the most
girl with the most

Vanilla bunny cakes
no ones even close
without her theres no hope
Kelly Cakes all the way
- Wednesday, June 18, 2003 at 04:31:37 (PDT)

My body screams underneath of you.
I cant get enough.
- Tuesday, June 17, 2003 at 13:08:29 (PDT)

Dear God
I need 37 mil,
twelve camaros
and a super model bleach blonde/true blonde
which ever comes 1st
- Tuesday, June 17, 2003 at 12:32:08 (PDT)

if you really care
you would tell me
and not play with me for years like a toy
you know I'm using all the lines I wrote for you
on somebody new
and I would never dream of it if you'ld
just say you love me to my face
unless you think our lives are o.k. to waste

- Tuesday, June 17, 2003 at 12:29:19 (PDT)

even in dreams it hurts
I can't even allow myself to pretend

that you love me

a bit of boiled blood
- Tuesday, June 17, 2003 at 11:58:12 (PDT)


Angel hair angel wings
bunny ears
the inspiration
to two hundred and fifty seven lead solos
how could art so fine belong to any one
- Tuesday, June 17, 2003 at 10:42:27 (PDT)

"An Ode to Jessica"

For no candle could burn as brightly
as your yellow rose colored hair
No cloud could hide the brightness of these eyes
until my heart lay still in morbid death
No thought could contain a sour note in your presence
every song sings your name
No ink could ever define you
a universe of meaning
No canvas could hold your beauty
masked shadows chained beneath this cloud
No dream should end to soon
a fantasy inside of life
No drop of blood could be enough
my soul a mirrored ocean to your love
- Tuesday, June 17, 2003 at 05:01:14 (PDT)

inspirational bunny pie

and the lord has sayeth
the summer sun would be Kelly

looks of ice

with or with out the angel wings
her halo reflects the blinding rays off her devil horns
and the bunny ears all pink inside

my heart would beat my brain would sweat
- Tuesday, June 17, 2003 at 04:37:16 (PDT)

Kelly with the angel wings,horns
and a bushy little bunny tail
- Tuesday, June 17, 2003 at 03:53:25 (PDT)

Dear God
I need six assorted Camaros,
all different years after 1982.
and I'll need four corvettes,
one 1972 Monte Carlo
one 1987 Monte Carlo
and one newer Monte Carlo
one 1994 Sedan Deville,{I love the little fins}
none of these vehicles should have a red interior please!!

In addition to transportation I will need a very soggy Italian beef sandwich on garlic bread motzarella and to much auj please thank you very much

and I will need at least 35 million dollars
and last but certianly not least
I need a super model bleach blonde
{no mental problems please}

Thank You Very Much
praise you thank you very much
- Monday, June 16, 2003 at 16:47:42 (PDT)

Kelly with the bunny ears halo and pitch fork
- Monday, June 16, 2003 at 09:12:38 (PDT)

Dear Jessica
Please watch over us and guide us thru
the hard times in life
and can I have a nice camaro
to chili cruise your sweet ass around in
also a nice crib in lake forest to enjoy life with you
and a big bucket of chicken

- Monday, June 16, 2003 at 09:09:44 (PDT)

Dear Jessica
How are you
I am fine
I am sorta new to reliegion
and mistakenly was praying to a lesser god
but now I have seen the light
I worship you
you are the one true Goddess
forgive me for I have sinned

- Monday, June 16, 2003 at 07:50:16 (PDT)

your life with mine
my heart in ryhyme
you intrest my mind
your eyes leave my thoughts behind
will you
will you please be mine
- Monday, June 16, 2003 at 05:12:07 (PDT)

- Sunday, June 15, 2003 at 20:40:17 (PDT)

Oh Thy Goddess
Wherefore art thou?
I have longed to taste of thee
have you to deny my very words

Oh thy goddess
I toast a round
a game of cat and mouse
where is thy lovely eyes fore I long to gaze upon
a thought that passes a dream would last

Oh thy Goddess
I kneel to thee
and kiss thy very hand that writ
not of I, or love
fore what is love
I know not,fore I know not you

Does thouist reconize the words I have spoken
I kiss the ground you walketh upon
I water your roses with tears
sounding as those of notes

Thy lovely Goddess
I ask of you that I pleaseith thee
with words of a thousand heartaches
with eyes red and mind clouded with the pain
of not holding thy goddess' hand

kiss the goddess' lovely fingers
until My heart knoweth thy name
oh a thousand and one dinners
to gaze upon your hair your lips
the moonlight would show your movement
yer name here
- Sunday, June 15, 2003 at 13:08:39 (PDT)

dont worry i'm coming
like a great big ol' sam and dave song
in five more days I will be on seven
and yer still everything I ever dreamed
- Sunday, June 15, 2003 at 11:23:49 (PDT)

the accessory queen

and I walk in the tro
all to hear is
two grease imprints on the window claiming

"My Jerry Curl juice is better than yours"

he's on the 22
I'm on 13

there's a world in his eyes
and I can't get to it

please cross ov er

- Sunday, June 15, 2003 at 06:05:28 (PDT)

bunny pie

long legs to way to sweet
blond hair
I love you Kellyski
- Saturday, June 14, 2003 at 20:21:19 (PDT)

Dear God

How are you?
I am finedid you get any Camaros in stock yet?
keep me posted

Thank You Very Much
Praise you mutliplied by pie
keep up the good work

- Saturday, June 14, 2003 at 20:17:53 (PDT)

if you thought i wanted someone else
you were so wrong
i want the girl i love
she is just like a song

- Saturday, June 14, 2003 at 20:15:13 (PDT)

the praire dog taco blues band played thru the monkeypox epidemic past the sars encrusted croakie whore sores and into the obease ladies section at fashion bug the shoulder pad equiped caseworker was not impressed and called the service for a quick replacement

All I want is bunny pie
- Saturday, June 14, 2003 at 20:11:57 (PDT)

Bertha code name Bertha
come in please

the crack is hidden in sosa bat number 31
red dawg red dog its going down over
- Saturday, June 14, 2003 at 17:52:48 (PDT)

"slightly tested lines"

1. Are you a real blonde

2. Where do you stay?

3. I'll give you a dollar to click yer heels together

4. I'd commit suicide for you

5. What is your name

6. You are the devil

7. Ten more days til' my divorce

8. I think of you when I'm with my wife

9. Hows your sister?

10. I ain't training another fucking pollock

11.Do you have a grand am
- Saturday, June 14, 2003 at 14:31:49 (PDT)

Thank You God
for the chicken
- Friday, June 13, 2003 at 10:54:21 (PDT)


You are everything
there is no world around you
all I see is your beauty
it is to you I pray
it is you I believe in

- Friday, June 13, 2003 at 09:34:31 (PDT)


In your eyes I see every dream
I ever dreamed
all I want life to be
in your memories I find me
in my heart you drive me crazy

- Thursday, June 12, 2003 at 11:46:53 (PDT)

Witch Beach?
- Thursday, June 12, 2003 at 08:54:30 (PDT)

Dear God

I have mercy on us all.

How L
we have become.

We deserve it, but not all.

For many seek you for you are the glimmer of hope and the water for which the seed of life so depends on you.

No hurry up and clean this shit up....

Did i mention, Have mercy on me?

p.s The beach blond? She said she was 1 8.
- Thursday, June 12, 2003 at 05:35:38 (PDT)

Dear God

How are you
I am fine

Please send me a nice Camaro
and a house in Lake Forest or Barrington
- Thursday, June 12, 2003 at 04:08:39 (PDT)

The Christening of the S.S. Catbox

Nautical decoration bombardment
a rolling tide spraying coffee colored broth cocktails
across the undeveolped arena of landfill wasteland
soft concrete fudge puddle truffle cakes
blended into lava minefields
an eroding treasure hunt
of miscalculated circlular buddah doll tootsie roll targets and streams of dried urine resin
leading away from the mouth of the swamp island outhouse musuem fountain.
- Wednesday, June 11, 2003 at 13:08:57 (PDT)

Dear God
I need that Rock and Roll money as soon as possible
thanks for the bleach blonde
you rule

praise you thank you
- Wednesday, June 11, 2003 at 10:58:00 (PDT)

Dear God

Have'nt you tortured me enough?
quit joking around

1. Please send me a nice anerexic bleach blonde
super model that makes my heart miss a beat here and there
theres only one of these angels out there
so it should not be that difficult
blue eyes great mind,you know "Miss Everything"

2. and a nice camaro for me
please do not send me a bleach blond with a camaro
I need a camaro for myself
just so you know and can get the order right.

3. and some sort of chicken sandwich
or a box of chicken
or a bucket of chicken would be nice
buffalo wings are good
ix nay on the chicken pot pies please
- Wednesday, June 11, 2003 at 05:27:58 (PDT)

Dear God

Please send me a nice casper colored lilly white
croakie singing cybil shepard looking midget with a big ass that I can nick name h azelski
- Wednesday, June 11, 2003 at 05:17:30 (PDT)

dear god
how about large sculpted lips
big brown eyes
tall long legs
little pointed up nose
thin brown locks
little birth beauty mark
and a perfect ass?
- Wednesday, June 11, 2003 at 05:09:42 (PDT)

Dear God

How are you?
I am fine
Please send me the most obease black lady you can find
something along the lines of the six breasted budda
with an extra helping of gout swollen ankles
and three humoungous ass cheeks
you know "I need a miracle everyday"
and I have never had any psychcology classes
I truely am sorry I called you
a rotten piece of shitski
sincerly yours
- Wednesday, June 11, 2003 at 05:06:00 (PDT)

as long as you stop pretending you like girls
- Tuesday, June 10, 2003 at 13:48:40 (PDT)

Dear God

Don't be dissin' my bitches

Hows about we forget about the bleach blondes
You give me that crazy ass cat and mouse honey
and we'll call it even
- Tuesday, June 10, 2003 at 11:11:56 (PDT)

- Monday, June 09, 2003 at 15:56:01 (PDT)

Dear mortal
perhaps if you stop pestering me
you'll get her
or maybe your just not looking in the right a lleys
- Monday, June 09, 2003 at 15:55:45 (PDT)

Dear God
I've paid my dues with fat ugly bitches
wheres my anerexic bleach blonde?
this shit is getting real old
- Monday, June 09, 2003 at 09:02:04 (PDT)

Winner Winner Winner


Miss June 2003
No Contest
- Monday, June 09, 2003 at 08:45:07 (PDT)

Dear God


Why don't you just fuck off

- Monday, June 09, 2003 at 08:29:25 (PDT)

Dear God
are you there
Kelly in the bunny ears
Kelly in the honey bee suit
here is my prayer
nurse valentine french maid wedding dress
I don't care
as long as its Kelly

- Monday, June 09, 2003 at 05:19:50 (PDT)

Dear Mr. Sandman,

Please bring me an angelic dream
bleach blonde is blond enough for me
Mr. Sandman bring me Kelly!!
- Monday, June 09, 2003 at 04:39:42 (PDT)

Dear God
Please cast me down the aforementioned nice blonde angel we have been in negotations for
Ready set go
no trade backs
let it rip
hurry hurry hurry
thank you

- Monday, June 09, 2003 at 02:13:34 (PDT)

his heart goes the speed of color
all I can promise is now
- Sunday, June 08, 2003 at 18:14:58 (PDT)

Dear God
I'm starting to feel like a lazy welfare receptant
waiting for crack hosing over here
are we there yet?
please remit to me the bleach blonde dream of my choice
can we make this a rush order?
rapido rap ido!!

- Sunday, June 08, 2003 at 00:25:56 (PDT)

Dear God
While I am waiting
how about that big bucket of chicken?
- Sunday, June 08, 2003 at 00:08:29 (PDT)

dear budda
how is your roundness this fine evening

nom e oh ho ranga quo

bring me the hottset bleach blond the big ice cream in the sky has to offer


- Saturday, June 07, 2003 at 21:24:29 (PDT)

Dear Easter Bunny,
How are you?
I am fine.

please bring me kelly
with the ears and bunny tail
thank you so much
- Saturday, June 07, 2003 at 17:58:17 (PDT)

Dear Santa Clause,
How are you?
I am fine
I have been a real good boy all year
please bring me a nice blonde
either Kelly or Jessica
thank you
I left you some cookies over by the fireplace
thanks again
- Saturday, June 07, 2003 at 17:56:59 (PDT)

Dear Satan,
How are you?
I am fine

Today I am asking for a beautiful bleach blonde
either Kelly or Jessica would be perfect
in exchange you can have whats left of my soul
Thank You
its a deal
- Saturday, June 07, 2003 at 17:54:29 (PDT)

Dear Satan,
How are you?
I am fine

Today I am asking for a beautiful bleach blonde
either Kelly or Jessica would be perfect
in exchange you can have whats left of my soul
Thank You
its a deal
- Saturday, June 07, 2003 at 17:53:53 (PDT)

I have seen the man with the skeleton face,
his hands were made of bone,
his goal to take me from this place and to set me in his throne,
I asked him why such dark resides and why I must go to his realm.
I asked him who's heart decides when an ending begins to sound.
A deepening fear I had of this place and required some sort of reasoning,
to feel content in this recent proposal of his beckoning.
His answer was demure and quiet, though his sound resounding.
Like water rushing over the fall,
soothing in it's pounding.
Each person in their time must come,
though they feel betrayed.
But when weariness comes over all, there is rest in the grave.
Death is not an evil thing, it has always been, comforting those who've stayed to long, in the lion's den.
You've asked me whose heart decides,
Why it's yours you see,
Your weariness flows over the space of time, and comes to summon me.
And so I come armed with fortune's sword to those who have bequeathed.
To bear their folly with one stroke, so in the end, they may sleep.

- Friday, June 06, 2003 at 13:57:37 (PDT)


As you pass me by
my heart leaves to follow
empty without you
- Friday, June 06, 2003 at 11:43:20 (PDT)

Dear God
I sent you emails and I left messages on your machine
you have yet to rsvp
please send me one bleach blonde as soon as possible
my muse for one entire year is awol
if you could return her that would be kosher
how do you expect me to be inspired to play with out
this hot babe to think about?
what were you thinking?

So to summerize,send me Kelly or better
and I highly doubt there could be one better
but your the God Dude
and the word is you can make angels
seeing as how the Kelly angel is perfect
lets see you do better

Is that what the big delay is?
You can not out do yourself?
Is it the seventh day or what?
- Friday, June 06, 2003 at 10:58:16 (PDT)

Dear God
Stop me if you've heard this one before

Can I please,please,please,please,please,please
for Christs sakes have a fucking Bleach Blonde
no mental patients please
thank you praise you
what the fuck is up with budda?
was he really the drummer for cheap trick?
Thanks Again
- Friday, June 06, 2003 at 10:49:20 (PDT)

Dear God
What the fuck is up,man?

Are you back logged
you are answering old old prayers

What I am looking for is blond or bleach blond
are you fucking color blind?
Blond or Bleach Blond
you know yellow white
or to win the lottery would be nice too
but lets stay on track
this is not to much to ask
thanks again

no bartenders
no welfare receipents
no nasty fucking whores
as per usual sluts are ok
- Friday, June 06, 2003 at 09:12:15 (PDT)

Dear God

Whats the hold up,dude
You don't take requests?
Bleach Blo nde

Say it with me here
Bleach Blonde
thats all I'm really asking for here
Is that to much?
I never ask you for shit and this one time
when I really need Kelly
You play the hold out mother fucker
with me

So here we go again
Praise you lord,thanks a bunch,hail mary,etc.

I need a Camaro
but not as bad as the super model bleach blonde
so reach into your bag o' tricks there buddy
and do me a favor
por favor?

You want I should have big roxie rub your latern
or something?
- Friday, June 06, 2003 at 07:44:03 (PDT)

Dear God
She does not have to look like Helen Hunt at all
but the more she looks like Kelly the better
- Friday, June 06, 2003 at 07:35:57 (PDT)

Dear God

Thanks for the shoes bro,
whats going on with the super fine bleach blonde
is there some sort of waiting list or what?

........ .....
- Friday, June 06, 2003 at 07:33:22 (PDT)

Today, the United States Senate has approved a bill (SB 1164) that allows low-income families to receive a four hundred dollar stipend per child per year. This bill has been pushed by democrats to “even the score” for the working class in light of the recent tax cuts for businesses. Even Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist (R, TN) supported an amended version of the bill (SB 1173).
To read more, visit www.TigerU.c om
Pins & Needles
- Friday, June 06, 2003 at 06:13:01 (PDT)

Everyone go out and make your appeal:
Chicken Little's right!
- Thursday, June 05, 2003 at 11:35:08 (PDT)

Dear God,
How are you?
I am fine
please find my list of prayers enclosed

1. Camaro with tee-tops '82 or newer{no red interiors}

2.Kellie and/or Jessica {not at the same time}

3. A big bucket of chicken

4. New Shoes
Thank you lord praise you lord amen
- Thursday, June 05, 2003 at 08:55:30 (PDT)

o.k. asswad
I'm ready to live happily ever after with Kellie now!!
- Thursday, June 05, 2003 at 08:18:03 (PDT)

Yes you are what I like
- Wednesday, June 04, 2003 at 17:07:19 (PDT)

All around the cobbler's bench,
The looters chased the producers
And when they thought 'twas all in fun,
POP! Goes world as we know it

Please put your head back on
We can't have that kind of rough-housing, now
...what would the neighbors think?


Pins & Needles
- Tuesday, June 03, 2003 at 20:18:40 (PDT)

i just felt my heart get redder
- Tuesday, June 03, 2003 at 17:31:18 (PDT)

a piano
by any other name
would sound as sweet

it's nice to put a hand to the voice
- Tuesday, June 03, 2003 at 17:26:32 (PDT)

stop it your turning me on

you think you got it bad you biblical vixen?
two of my very favorite women
dont want to go out with me
they just want to be wrote in
- Tuesday, June 03, 2003 at 15:28:15 (PDT)

It's like getting a Ken doll instead

on Christmas day

and sometimes you're so sure
sometimes you've got it all together

and then it just collapses
only because it was getting to good there for a while, of course
just breaking the monotony of the optimistic uprising a bit
and everyone has their downs

but I never really got much ups

along comes a willingness to be as sexy as the librarian
with white-out stains to the hilt
I doubt it could get much better
my ears are ringing
and all we both hear is you

I never really could get through
- Tuesday, June 03, 2003 at 14:23:09 (PDT)

we gotta get u with me
- Tuesday, June 03, 2003 at 05:22:00 (PDT)


My love for you cannot be described
in terms of defining a quantity for
with me I love you infinity and so
how do you quantify infinity
for it has no boundaries, no limits
and its size cannot be measured as
it is endless and that is the only
way to describe my love for you is
that it is endless and has no chance
of stopping because you are me to
some degree and i am definitely you
totally! The degree to which I love
you has no opportunity of ever becoming
less because from the moment I met you i
knew there was a special person inside you
and no matter how much life tries to corupt
our original spirit, you would always retain
and maintain the specialness inside of you that
I saw immediately as I was meeting you for the first
- Monday, June 02, 2003 at 18:22:37 (PDT)

Puralator not Prowler

I read what you write
I see what you say
I hear what you voice

If what you say is true
then you know what you
must do don't you?

You need to take this further
and just drop this on my lap
so it will smash it apart
and bring it out in the open

Together we can read what we wrote, we can see what we've said, and hear our love for one another from each other in person but only if you dial the digits
connected directly into my heart.

- Monday, June 02, 2003 at 18:02:56 (PDT)

The One I Love

Cream colored hourglass
sprinkled with golden freckles
baptismal blue eyes
behind bleach blonde hair
coating a brillant m ind
- Monday, June 02, 2003 at 13:09:20 (PDT)

This is about you

Just the thought of you
makes me so happy
I can't think about other things
I vision us together
in love in lust

I get so high on you
I want only you
you know that
you do

I love you
you know I love you
you know I do
I love you

I love YOU

When I think about you I get so depressed
knowing I am not together with you
knowing I am not the one closer to you than any other
knowing that I could be
if you cared
because I have all the care for you
anyone could possibly have
I have the love you are missing
and the longer you wait
the more feelings go to waste

I love you
you know I love you
you know I do
I love you

I love YOU

- Sunday, June 01, 2003 at 19:40:32 (PDT)

did you remember to tell kellie
i'll be glad to give her 37 tongue baths a day
until i can get her a real nice ring
then 39 time a day from then on out
- Sunday, June 01, 2003 at 19:37:32 (PDT)

remember that fateful day Johnny Hollywood never told Gretchen the the movers got fired?
- Sunday, June 01, 2003 at 19:35:16 (PDT)

do you remember the freshness of youth
marveling that we all have our own thoughts
do you remember the freshness of youth
wondering what roads out life would take
do you remember the freshness of youth
when all things were possible

did we stay young
did we remain fresh
have we gone stale

alas there are seasons to life
alas all has been written
alas we only reflect what has been reflected upon

was it our bodies and spirtis that made us young
was it our thoughts that made us young
was it our belief that made us young

alas I am too busy to reflect
alas I am too important to reflect
alas I am too occupied to stay young
- Sunday, June 01, 2003 at 19:28:04 (PDT)

Just the thought of you
makes me so happy
I can't think about other things
I vision us together
in love in lust

I get so high on you
I want only you
you know that
you do
- Sunday, June 01, 2003 at 18:22:32 (PDT)

I love you
you know I love you
you know I do
I love you

I love YO U

- Sunday, June 01, 2003 at 18:18:50 (PDT)

When I think about you I get so depressed
knowing I am not together with you
knowing I am not the one closer to you than any other
knowing that I could be
if you cared
because I have all the care for you
anyone could possibly have
I have the love you are missing
and the longer you wait
the more feelings go to waste
- Sunday, June 01, 2003 at 18:17:37 (PDT)

I love you
you know I love you
you know I do
I love you

I love YO U
- Sunday, June 01, 2003 at 16:58:21 (PDT)

The Shirts were made

No Pisser
No Jam
- Saturday, May 31, 2003 at 09:45:35 (PDT)

What If

I told you there was no me for I never existed
I said that I love you even after I am dead
You showed up unannounced to us sometime soon
You sent me something electric or snail
I never met you and you never met me
I was another person when I met you
I am now you so now you do not exist
you are my soulmate as I am yours too
you go and try and find the third party
you bring us together for all times sake
I am just insane?
- Saturday, May 31, 2003 at 07:44:00 (PDT)

Is what I am hearing correct in its very nature?
I cannot believe that I have the ability to make
what I am thinking appear in the lyrics of those
who receive air time all over the countries. I
just heard something so personal I am at a loss
as to whose personal they are singing about now
Could it be me and my personal but how could any
one know the real deal because for many years I
have lead them to believe other things while the
truth always remained with me and only me. Every
one else but this song and me are under one
assumption and there is no way I am turning back now
- Saturday, May 31, 2003 at 07:31:25 (PDT)

Thus far the evening sky has not been
able to reveal itself and that is sad
How so? you may ask; Well considering
we humans are what the evening sky re-
veals to us, we are missing a major
part of our lives and that is no lie.

I wish then for a clear night where I
am able to see and hear all what the
evening sky has to offer each of us.

- Saturday, May 31, 2003 at 07:22:16 (PDT)

i used to think i could never forget you
but now i am not so sure of that anymore
considering I am having an easy time
shutting this door to you because I
have had enough of nothing coming
through it and its been like that
for such a long time now that I can no
longer afford to pay attention to you
no matter what you might think right
now at this very moment as you are reading
this Sentence Take A LQQk keenly Ez Ri ght?

- Saturday, May 31, 2003 at 07:07:21 (PDT)

Stalkers, stalkers everywhere
crawling through helen hunts hair.

- Friday, May 30, 2003 at 23:24:02 (PDT)

I am not in the mood

I have watched you
pour for the last
few days and this
should not be
because now they
say you are back
again for another
few days to pour
and so I have
made up my mind
and here is what
I think and that
is if you show up
and pour once more
I am going to the
lumber store to
buy me supplies
so I can build
an ark that will
keep me alive from
your mud or flood

- Friday, May 30, 2003 at 18:38:07 (PDT)

your words have been around for years
so has the message and your tears
fallen upon nothing but deaf ears
thinking he hears
all of your fears
your mind racing through the mental gears

my mind is like the engine of a car
and the car itself is like my body
so after the race I managed to seize
but just the car or my body because
my thoughts were free but didn't leave
last week it was steve before that it
was mr and mrs moodie and even before
that it was uriah heep huh imagine that
being surrounded by the love of your
life who doesn't like catz well I guess
he'll just miss that part of the trip to
Egypt when Ieye go visit the sphinx!

- Friday, May 30, 2003 at 18:29:20 (PDT)

I am in love with you
and I think you know it
deep down you can feel me
as if I am snuggling with you
you can take me away from this
if you really wanted to feel it
then you'll need to open your mind
to what the new days could bring us
but you must be willing to not only find
but also to keep that what you do find
you cannot tug on my heart anymore is
what I declare from a distance you care
you will not bother my mind no more because
I said so unless of course you say you love me
and then you do something about it before its too late

- Friday, May 30, 2003 at 18:11:25 (PDT)

tonight i sit and cry here in the corner,
tis dark and lonely, the cobwebs are growing over me
i hate this life
i hate these tears
the spiders crawl all over my flash and i care not, i just wish i was dead
my tears are the drink for the roches on the floor
i cannot move, i cannot speak, my drepression keeps me chained to the wall
all you will hear from my lips is the sobs which keep me sane
maybe someday i will keep the happiness that is there is front of me

Risika Saint
- Friday, May 30, 2003 at 15:29:16 (PDT)

Happy Birthday Cassandra
- Friday, May 30, 2003 at 04:53:54 (PDT)

"Just Jessica"

Angelic beauty exceeding all breathing forms of art
wasting hearts expired empty lines and parts

only thoughts
your movement

- Wednesday, May 28, 2003 at 20:51:05 (PDT)

true feelings

You are so the fuck much better than Helen Hunt
the hottest woman on the block
theres no way to stop it
not another can top it
you are all there is
no one around here
can compete
you dont know what you mean to me
I want you
you are the best in this hood
and all around
the fifteen surrounding towns
you need the bunnie ears
- Wednesday, May 28, 2003 at 20:22:31 (PDT)

Mr. Moneybags, we forgot to notify you.
We forgot to tell you that you'll no longer be known as Mr. Moneybags; henceforth, you'll be

Mr. Politics. Of course now, the old Mr. Politics needs a new name. The board has reviewed the choices and has unanimously decided on

Mr. Garbage Man.
Pins & Needles
- Wednesday, May 28, 2003 at 15:12:17 (PDT)

"What Johnny Hollywood has never said to Gretchen"
{the cleaned up version}

Its not working...,
thinking about you when I'm alone
because I am so used to thinking about you
when I was with my wife
- Wednesday, May 28, 2003 at 04:58:00 (PDT)

"A Little Helen Hunt Holiday 5 wonderful times a day"

Say what you want about me
but Helen Hunt is so fine
every single day of my life
I look at her and I wish she was mine
all that and you can tell shes not even trying
say what you want about me
but for this girl, its worth dying
I thought I loved another one
but as it turns out I just like her lying
- Wednesday, May 28, 2003 at 04:51:54 (PDT)

helen hunt honey
baby would you please
helen hunt honey
do you know what you mean to me
helen hunt honey
its in you I believe
- Tuesday, May 27, 2003 at 13:10:32 (PDT)

when I give myself a headache trying to think about three blondes at once
you block them out
Your beautiful red hair
completely takes over my mind
until I can not think of an other

- Tuesday, May 27, 2003 at 12:18:01 (PDT)

Helen Hunt you are the one for me

- Tuesday, May 27, 2003 at 12:01:46 (PDT)

Sorry brother,
Helen Hunt's here with me...
Try back later.
Helen Hunt's Boy Toy
- Monday, May 26, 2003 at 17:57:09 (PDT)

Helen Hunt Honey,Please report to Travis' bedroom
Helen Hunt Honey,Please report to Travis' bedroom
- Monday, May 26, 2003 at 10:41:54 (PDT)

"I call you Helen Hunt"

I call you Helen Hunt
cause I've been looking all my life
for a girl like you
no one anywhere looks half as nice

I call you I love you
cause in my heart you cut like a knife
when I think only about you
and what it would be like

I call you lotsa fun
cause your just right
should be mine
and you could be any ol' time
you fucking feel like
- Monday, May 26, 2003 at 10:39:24 (PDT)

Oh Helen Hunt baby
can I hold your hand
would you walk with me
let me be your man
Helen Hunt Honey
theres no one out there looks as good as you can
let me taste your hair and drink from your lips
- Monday, May 26, 2003 at 10:35:31 (PDT)

in your eyes

Inside your eyes
a smile from your heart
instant happi ness
- Sunday, May 25, 2003 at 18:35:19 (PDT)

And if elected I declare the waitress to be God!
- Sunday, May 25, 2003 at 18:22:25 (PDT)

the cocanut measures about 37,000 Cat Box Units Per Sguare Cat Box,
dow nwind
- Sunday, May 25, 2003 at 18:14:24 (PDT)

My really good friends just call me Jayson Blair.

What is the air-speed velocity of a coconut-laden swallow?
Pins & Needles
- Sunday, May 25, 2003 at 15:57:27 (PDT)

All my life
I've carried them as pearls
Then one day,
I noticed they peeled
Paint peeled like the painted pearls
of Mardi Gras

They, like you, taste like styrofoam.
Pins & Needles
- Sunday, May 25, 2003 at 15:54:10 (PDT)

No one's in

why point and shoot
there is no target
cause I ain't listening
enough is enuff
if I have anymore patience
with you, the hospital is
going to explode.

everytime I go to say something
you trump it with a higher card
well not anymore because I quit
and its for good this time. In
fact, I quit everything accept
- Sunday, May 25, 2003 at 15:23:20 (PDT)

holy F!@#k I am insane
~awe the g oodness~
- Sunday, May 25, 2003 at 15:01:02 (PDT)

mainstream does have its benefits
but that I still want to be different
should mean nothing to the majority
so long as my difference does not
directly involve anyone in particular
in such a way that it causes p ain

- Sunday, May 25, 2003 at 14:59:15 (PDT)

Jack Daniel's colored glasses
Broken nails embalmed with peeling paint

You Jezebel, turn into your dream

Ever-present we see the truth
Ever-wishing it weren't so

When was the last time you were flooded in?

Where one life ends, another begins.
Pins & Needles
- Sunday, May 25, 2003 at 10:45:22 (PDT)

Helen Hunt Honey
I'll promise you the solar system and the moon
all I want is to get with you soon
- Sunday, May 25, 2003 at 09:21:22 (PDT)

this is bullshit
I see you put part of the interview in the archive
but wheres the first part of that interview?
What happened to that?You ba stards.
- Saturday, May 24, 2003 at 21:36:40 (PDT)

- Saturday, May 24, 2003 at 18:05:35 (PDT)

Helen Hunt baby
you want I should like take you
to the hootenany
but with you I'd rather be alaone
Helen Hunt baby
you maketh my mind go
- Saturday, May 24, 2003 at 18:04:21 (PDT)

While playing "Louie Louie" because that is how you order from the Gods of Art.
The new improved lyrics should be sung
frontwards then backwards then frontwards again
for the spells to work.

Helen Hunt baby
you don'ttt gotta go
You want,I should take you to the prom or some thing??
Helen Hunt Baby....don't break my heart please
Helen Hunt..I'm not going to say anything about crazy
but its in......You I believe
Helen Hunt its not your name I know
Helen Hunt baby,everything I play is to you though
you influence the everything
when I see your motion there goes my brain
helen Hunt baby,your what I have always
been looking fo r

AAA DD em em em DD
- Saturday, May 24, 2003 at 18:02:17 (PDT)

Helen Hunt honey,you want I should like
take you to the prom?
- Saturday, May 24, 2003 at 09:32:17 (PDT)

its time to move on
ive dropped enough
today and this should
keep you busy for at
least another day
until we meet again
somewhere else in this
web like mess or maybe
even back here again
I will come and see
that you have paid
the necessary attention
and reworded my work
- Saturday, May 24, 2003 at 08:00:54 (PDT)

today I should be somewhere else
but I am glad that I am not for
where I was to be is not really
at this time where I want me to be
I was caught up in the moment of
each of the two days and from then
on I was determined under false hope
that I to belonged in that circle but
until I am clean and strong enough to
belong forever, I must not think I can
belong right now.
- Saturday, May 24, 2003 at 07:54:25 (PDT)

I am in tune with myself
but myself does not want
to be in tune with me so
where does that leave the
tune? Well until both sides
can achieve balance, the tune
will not be tuned and so the
tuner will just sit there not
being used

its one thing to be ruthless and carry
no scrupples, but to treat the earth as
we do when having no scrupples or no sense
of connection to what makes us alive is like
committing suicide and that is just wrong according
to those of us who have moral decency and scrupples
- Saturday, May 24, 2003 at 07:44:40 (PDT)

its terrible when you know that you will not think
this way when the time 1/2 past the 10th hour has arrived. Why I cannot carry this feeling through
to the other side is beyond my thinking but not
my existence and so I know now that I must put
it down so that it can be committed to something
in order to remind me each day of what direction
I need to be constantly heading in to make my life
an honest success more so than what it currently is
- Saturday, May 24, 2003 at 07:33:48 (PDT)

It doesn't matter where I go
still I am treated different
everytime I let the other side show

I simply cannot help this
for that is just who I am and
everything else is secondary
to who I really am

I get it both ways because
if I deny the natural me
I am reminded no matter
whereever I go, from the
naturalness that surrounds
me completely full circle,
that I do not have the ability
to hide my natural self so why
bother to even try when it can
never be silenced

I wish that it could have come
together for me a similar way
that it did for them that day
but ever since my birth into
this reality, I have had to
struggle with many different
personalities situated inside me

But it never did and the longer
I sit and dwell on what has not
happened, the longer it is taking
me to develop into my natural eyes
- Saturday, May 24, 2003 at 07:18:34 (PDT)

An addiction to beauty
warmth inside the heart
eyes that can see no other
a mind that only thinks of you

a thought that does not contain
this angelic goddess
- Thursday, May 22, 2003 at 04:55:20 (PDT)


There is no other art so great
to cast a shadow
as nothing can filter the glow
or stop the blinding reflection
one glance replayed many times in thought
It is love that accerates this heart
erasing memories of others
beautiful names blur into the past
with every dream she stars in.
Travis Ray Cole
- Thursday, May 22, 2003 at 04:41:19 (PDT)


She is the standard to measure dreams by
so far more beautiful than any other

fantasy of dreams
angel of reality
Beyond defination
past feeling
every meaning multiplied

More beautiful than any other form of art
more alive than what has killed my heart
seven guitars could'nt explain how I feel
Travis Ray Cole
- Wednesday, May 21, 2003 at 19:46:05 (PDT)

she is a standard to measure dreams by
so far more beautiful any other
- Wednesday, May 21, 2003 at 09:03:39 (PDT)

now you couldnt even get me back with the truth
- Wednesday, May 21, 2003 at 04:59:46 (PDT)

i feel that roller coaster
- Wednesday, May 21, 2003 at 04:58:55 (PDT)

fantasy of dreams
angel of reality
- Wednesday, May 21, 2003 at 04:13:25 (PDT)

Beyond defination
past feeling
every meaning multiplied

More beautiful than any other form of art
more alive than what has killed my heart
seven guitars could'nt explain how I feel

- Tuesday, May 20, 2003 at 19:02:22 (PDT)

Why must i desire to sleep
lust to dream
trade reality
for one more distorted
i should get up today
rather lay in bed sleep the pain away
i really should get up today
but id rather take more pills
that'd be nice
- Monday, May 19, 2003 at 19:28:39 (PDT)

beyond defination
past feeling
every meaning multiplied

- Monday, May 19, 2003 at 15:45:00 (PDT)

More beautiful than any other form of art
more alive than what has killed my heart
seven guitars could'nt explain how I feel

- Monday, May 19, 2003 at 15:36:47 (PDT)

Winner Winner Winner
Miss 2003
- Monday, May 19, 2003 at 10:51:17 (PDT)

"The cat box parcheesey lessons are going fine"

My family sometimes thinks its a joke to take about five of the twelve pack of disposable razors I buy,

...take them out of the pack and shave the cats ass
or something with these razors,then place them back into the bag so I will come along and slice up my face trying to shave.
- Monday, May 19, 2003 at 02:28:02 (PDT)

grand niceties
for the only breathing
jesus never told me all of this
Pins & Needles
- Sunday, May 18, 2003 at 23:38:02 (PDT)

"We have to grow together"

My Doctors don't like this love of ours
My Doctors don't like this love of mine
My Doctors are gonna fix brain and cure my mind
in not exactly record time
My Doctors, If I need love they'll find
- Sunday, May 18, 2003 at 20:42:53 (PDT)

magic cat box scurvy scars
she had
- Saturday, May 17, 2003 at 20:12:19 (PDT)

"I'm sorry our time is up" said the now heavy set socialoligist,who still worked for a burritto a day
even in the best of times
.the cat box day parade
- Saturday, May 17, 2003 at 19:22:29 (PDT)

no really call me
- Saturday, May 17, 2003 at 19:02:31 (PDT)

he must be 100
all the words he's ever come in contact with
self-procclaimed wisdom accross the miles

it's Kitschville
where everything's art deco
and air's a bargain

give it up
violent death to your complacency
and no, not everything's going to go your way forever

as good as it seems now
your artistic justice
overshoe charm
will only get you so far
smug prick

I almost can't w ait
- Saturday, May 17, 2003 at 18:40:19 (PDT)

Seven Days of Cat Box Prayer
Posted by
the worst poet here

Helen Hunt please report to Travis' bedroom
Hellen Hunt Honey,this is not a drill
Helen Hunt please report to Travis' bedroom

- Saturday, May 17, 2003 at 18:40:14 (PDT)

all the time at the cat box station
we seem to have these little cat box confrontation
theres a little problem maybe worth debating
spent his whole life preforming at cat box demonstrations

then one day he was shooting at some pool
and along from the ground came bufflo spewl
black oil
chilli cheese
The cat box polock
- Saturday, May 17, 2003 at 18:37:05 (PDT)

happy easter eve
call me
- Saturday, May 17, 2003 at 18:33:40 (PDT)

"20,000 million cat boxes under the sea"
drip drip drip

:::::::::::: ::::::::::::::::
:::::::::::::::::: ::::::::::

:::::::::::::::::::::: ::::::

"Outta My League"

She wont come unless I treat her like her third black pimp did while the pizza man rings the door bell continously while shouting your pizzas here

told 'em bout the crop damaged
pschyco channeling in from nowhere
they said get a job
then wez went on the old cat box cook out
'til the cat box data base was blind
and only by use of several professional cat box relaxation tools would she ever agree to be angry enough to be my mine

She wont dance unless I treat her like her third black pimp did while the pizza man rings the door bell continously while shouting your pizzas here
The cat box polock
- Saturday, May 17, 2003 at 09:04:39 (PDT)

"Porthole to the Cat Box"

The Flood raged
as the theme to Giligans Island played
in repetition
a subtitution for Surf music
even exchange with no lifeboat of prayers
the aroma would save our souls


The mermaid slaves sang Cat Box River now
as they were merely brain washed peasants

The raft hauling prostitutes to and from
the hootchiekins port oil spill
would need a gondola full of gonnarea cure
half past the sandy cat box sores
quarter to the nautical decorations clam bake
- Friday, May 16, 2003 at 21:01:19 (PDT)

o.k. girls
get ready for the big eclipsing number
a one and a two
- Friday, May 16, 2003 at 20:33:43 (PDT)

I love whatever the fuck your name i s
- Friday, May 16, 2003 at 16:53:55 (PDT)

was it the soup bowl dance?
- Friday, May 16, 2003 at 16:51:03 (PDT)

my mind is a loaded weapon
because of all the thoughts
I'm having with respect to you
I fear its only a matter of time
before my presence you will feel
and your heart I will steal
get real as you know who I am
based on the fact that 2 years
tonight we created another life
while partying it up at/until 110
- Friday, May 16, 2003 at 12:22:16 (PDT)

give me your remedy
- Friday, May 16, 2003 at 12:20:11 (PDT)

today I am insane
cause of the rain
there's no where
to put the drain
I know your name
is not kane or is
is EAW?
- Friday, May 16, 2003 at 12:07:44 (PDT)

How soon sould you get yur money back
on a mail order bride investment?
And if she has several mental illness'
should you then be entitled to some sort of a refund?
- Friday, May 16, 2003 at 02:41:57 (PDT)

I think theres something wrong
with the microchip in your head
yeah I do
could you get it changed
replaced for one thats new
major malfunction
your brain is really screwed
I do believe theres something wrong there
your way beyond tard
you know this is true
to far gone
out of it
and we can't cure this with magnets
a labotomy might do
maybe you got brain cancer
or your skull is just full of
- Thursday, May 15, 2003 at 21:09:47 (PDT)

remember your cat box etiquit
we don't need another
cat fight
- Thursday, May 15, 2003 at 20:54:39 (PDT)

Winner Winner Winner


Miss Solar Eclipse
- Thursday, May 15, 2003 at 20:35:39 (PDT)

The Number

I gave the number to a fat ugly bitch
now its time to move

I don't know what I was thinking
it seemed like there was nothing else I could do
I just wanted her to get outta the car
you could say that I'm a fool,

I gave the number to a fat ugly bitch
and now its time to move
The cat box polock
- Thursday, May 15, 2003 at 20:33:45 (PDT)

"Buying Cocaine for a Midget"

Shake baby shake
you never had that twitch in your eye before
that is the whitest hair dye I have ever seen
The cat box polock
- Thursday, May 15, 2003 at 19:54:57 (PDT)

Helen Hunt please report to Travis' bedroom
Hellen Hunt Honey,this is not a drill
Helen Hunt please report to Travis' bedroom

- Thursday, May 15, 2003 at 19:48:56 (PDT)

your love is stranger

than my lipgloss addiction
- Thursday, May 15, 2003 at 18:08:37 (PDT)

Winner Winner Winner


Miss May
- Thursday, May 15, 2003 at 10:59:26 (PDT)

"For which it stands"

Upon helping my government feed a mental patient
I lost a super sawzall to the pawn shop

- Thursday, May 15, 2003 at 09:19:48 (PDT)

"Time to stir the Cat Box Oat Meal"

"The cat box is to confining
I'm so claustrophobic",said Mr.Pooh Pooh

"I don't want to shit in some little box
way over in the corner,fuck Edward Lowe!
I want to shit out in the open spaces
and live free in the living quarters,of coarse."
The Cat Box Times
- Thursday, May 15, 2003 at 09:18:30 (PDT)

Against the Grain
Ocean wind tunnels
across veins and memories
melting celtic imaginations
cubism mind kite weapons
generic dream panic
rotting cypress nurses
and joker wizards
dance with choke holds
rumoured incognito speech glitches

Design addicted savage fugitives
respected humming machine chill
raining tribal beauties
bleeding burning reapers
dead roses
scar dragon skulls

Classic demise of tributed love
never feeling lies fade away
snakes wrapped around crosses
through time laughing at money and pain
barb wire chains on heeled whores
out of the grave

Words without a page to bleed on

The fog glazed the snow colored moon
as cold as your reflection
as sharp as the broken pieces of mirror
in empty memory laughing at the future
your lips over glossed like wet kisses
speak my name with yours
casting spells whispering lies
love finds you
as your fine black hair lays across mine
as I taste your dream and breathe your words
You abandon me

- Thursday, May 15, 2003 at 05:28:36 (PDT)

Poems pruned on 05-15-03

poems_01-08-00 archive
poems_02-26-00 archive
poems_05-12-99 archive
poems_08-11-00 archive
poems_08-15-99 archive
poems_10-27-99 archive
poems_09-08-01 archive
poems_02-02-02 archive
poems_03-23-02 archive
poems_12-18-01 archive
poems_07-24-02 archive
poems_10-29-02 archive
poems_03-08-03 archive
poems_05-15-03 archive